More like Nancy LUGOSI, am I right? (Love you Nancy)

November 17, 2009 5:07 PM

The author of "Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!" (prev.) is back with an all-new children's picture book: "Help! Mom! Radicals Are Ruining My Country!" Starring Nancy Pelosi and friends. The author calls it "a hilarious and entertaining way for parents to sit down with their children and teach them the origins of the new Tea Party movement and the importance of standing up for liberty and the American Dream." Read a few pages online. (PDF warning)
posted by Taft (50 comments total)

Don't even warrant this dreck with a post. It doesn't deserve the publicity.
I wonder what actual, you know, kids think about it.
posted by dunkadunc at 5:09 PM on November 17, 2009

Yeah, the best thing to do with these clowns is to ignore them.
posted by ixohoxi at 5:11 PM on November 17, 2009

(PDF warning)

The document format is the least of anyone's worries.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:11 PM on November 17, 2009 [11 favorites]

Beyond the politics, the artwork and writing on display here are just awful. Conservatives seem functionally incapable of political humor, let alone children's books.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:13 PM on November 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm just going to say "Hitler youth" right now and get it out of the way.

Though, TBH, teabaggers being what they are it's more like indoctrination for a really crap cult.
posted by Artw at 5:13 PM on November 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

COMIC SANS? IS THAT REALLY COMIC SANS?

dear sweet tapdancing christ.

Conservatives are incapable of humor and childrens' books because they don't have a heart: They're actually The Gray Ones, who have been lived in our world for aeons with the goal of ruining all things that are good.
posted by dunkadunc at 5:16 PM on November 17, 2009 [5 favorites]

Is that Comic Sans? How... apropos.
posted by boo_radley at 5:17 PM on November 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

DUNKADUNC!
posted by boo_radley at 5:18 PM on November 17, 2009

This way to the freaks, ladies and gentlemen. All shall be accomodated.
posted by Joe Beese at 5:18 PM on November 17, 2009

I always did think that the main problem with conservatism in this country was that it was not patronizing enough, putting it all in a children's book really helps with that.
posted by idiopath at 5:23 PM on November 17, 2009

Wait, those kids books arent just a joke?

Seriously?
posted by subaruwrx at 5:23 PM on November 17, 2009

Nobody has ever attempted to expose children to a cultish way of thinking through use of books or study materials

I know there's a link out there somewhere with screenshots of one of the books, but I'll be damned if I could find it.
posted by davejay at 5:25 PM on November 17, 2009

It's crap like this that inspires subliminal Judas Priest records. Christ, that was awful.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:25 PM on November 17, 2009

I have such a hard time conceptualizing Nancy Pelosi as a radical.
posted by Caduceus at 5:25 PM on November 17, 2009 [7 favorites]

Uh oh, is the OP trolling for some liberal butthurt?

I actually read the pdf's, here's my two cents:

1. The text is typical republican whargarbl, where it could have provided a genuinely conservative foundation for children, it focuses on petty character assassination.

2. The artwork is quite good, the caricatures in particular.
posted by limited slip at 5:26 PM on November 17, 2009

Actually I quite liked it.
posted by logicpunk at 5:26 PM on November 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

I have such a hard time conceptualizing Nancy Pelosi as a radical.

You and your addiction to "sanity" and "reality".

I'm no fan of Nancy Pelosi, but she's no more a radical than she is a copper beech.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:27 PM on November 17, 2009 [6 favorites]

ooo, there are interesting results out there parroting stuff mentioned in my other link, if you dig around
posted by davejay at 5:27 PM on November 17, 2009

a hilarious and entertaining way for parents to sit down with their children and teach them the origins of the new Tea Party movement and the importance of standing up for liberty and the American Dream

Nancy Pelosi a radical. The "origins of the new Tea Party movement" presumably NOT being "corporate conservatives working for the healthcare industry". "Standing up for...the American Dream" being denying people access to doctors.

It would be funny if it didn't make me weep for America.
posted by DU at 5:28 PM on November 17, 2009

I believe the technical term for this kind of thing is INDOCTRINATION!!!
posted by Sys Rq at 5:28 PM on November 17, 2009

HURFDURF PELOSI, AMIRITE? Seriously, it's like she personally laughed at the penis size if every Republican dude, to his face. But then, they acted the same way about Clinton. Both women are utterly conventional politicians, yet they inspire howls of fear and paranoid fantasies that seem vastly out of proportion to anything they've ever actually done or said.

I feel sorry for the little Rod and Tod Flanderses out there forced to get this read to them at bedtime rather than Where the Wild Things Are.
posted by emjaybee at 5:33 PM on November 17, 2009 [3 favorites]

I just checked it out, and I'm with limited slip, except that I think the artwork is absolutely terrible--and believe me, I've seen my share of children's book illustrations over the past several years.

What a pathetic way to try to teach your kids about what you believe. It reminds me I need to be very careful not to do the same when talking about politics with my kids, though, so as a cautionary tale even the three excerpt pages are effective.

Also: "watercress sandwiches"? I certainly hope that's referring to something I'd need to read the rest of the book to catch.
posted by padraigin at 5:33 PM on November 17, 2009

Watercress sandwiches fits perfectly. It is an effete European food that no real man would ever eat. It doesn't have any MEAT in it like a decent American food should. It was probably organic, too. The idea of eating vegetation that is not potatoes, tomatoes, or iceberg lettuce clues the reader in that the character is not to be trusted.
posted by idiopath at 5:38 PM on November 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Somewhere there are actual adult humans who sincerely think that this is funny.

Goddamn.
posted by jefbla at 5:41 PM on November 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Is that Comic Sans? How... apropos.

Is that French? How... liberal.
posted by naju at 5:41 PM on November 17, 2009 [4 favorites]

For comparison: Going Rouge: The Sarah Palin Rogue Coloring & Activity Book
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 5:45 PM on November 17, 2009

"They decided to construct a temple in which for him to speak."

Looks like someone went through and made sure no sentences end with prepositions.
posted by Phssthpok at 5:46 PM on November 17, 2009

The comments in the previous metafilter link point out that in the author's note to her previous (2005) book, she says:

"The non-stop kicking and screaming since last November is so incessant, I am wondering when Sen. Byrd is going to hold his breath until his state turns blue."

Ha.

Would anybody really be surprised if the next teabagger protest involved collective breath-holding?
posted by ScotchRox at 5:50 PM on November 17, 2009

Liberal radical?

In Italy, Nancy Pelosi would be a centimeter to the left of Berlusconi.
posted by Zambrano at 5:51 PM on November 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

parents to sit down with their children and teach them the origins of the new Tea Party movement

Goodness knows that's something children need to know.
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:53 PM on November 17, 2009

I'm calling Marxus Obundus in case I win the MeFi raffle.
posted by katillathehun at 5:53 PM on November 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Chant heard recently at one of those radical street rallies, just before the riot police came and tear-gassed their un-American asses:

What do we want in our sandwiches?

WATERCRESS!

When do we want it?

AS SOON AS OUR SERVER CAN BRING IT TO OUR TABLE!

What do we want in our sandwiches?

WATERCRESS!

When do we...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:55 PM on November 17, 2009

In Italy, Nancy Pelosi would be a centimeter to the left of Berlusconi.

In America, Nancy Pelosi is a Democrat, which is the center-right party.
posted by DU at 5:57 PM on November 17, 2009 [3 favorites]

I guess the "watercress sandwiches" thing, if all it's meant to do is call back to the whole "arugula" nonsense, is such a non sequitur that it completely belies the notion that this book is aimed at children at all, much less to teach them anything. You don't do things like that in kids' books. You do it in adult books that pretend to be kids' books, like My First Presidentiary, or the McSweeney's Baby Be Of Use series.

Seems to me this is just a ham-handed attempt at satire, meant much more for adult conservatives to giggle at than it is for actual children. Either that or this lady is the world's worst writer and has never met an actual child.
posted by padraigin at 6:03 PM on November 17, 2009 [2 favorites]

Ruined? Or made it better?
posted by Talez at 6:07 PM on November 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Well, it's nice to see the makers of Juden Raus! branching out.
posted by scody at 6:10 PM on November 17, 2009

Help! Anyone! My Conservative Fucktard Parents Are Ruining My Childhood!
posted by brain_drain at 6:11 PM on November 17, 2009 [4 favorites]

Like your kid's gonna know what these people look like, much less the nuanced references that one has to spend a few months of watching cable news to pick up on. I do not believe this is a kid's book, but one of those novelty books aimed at conservatives. It's worth a few giggles for the right wing-er, but that's about it.

Seriously, if you read this to your kid, he's going to grow up to be one of those radical left-wing cats that are always spooking around radical left-wing bookstores. It's like a multiplier for teenage rebellion.
posted by hellojed at 6:13 PM on November 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

As someone who is represented by Nancy Pelosi, I really wish she was a radical.
posted by bottlebrushtree at 6:16 PM on November 17, 2009 [2 favorites]

Why Mommy is a Democrat (Daily Show, 20079
posted by Dumsnill at 6:17 PM on November 17, 2009

I wonder what actual, you know, kids think about it.

As little as possible, likely. They just smile politely, pretend to enjoy it and then sneak over to their friends and watch South Park.
posted by philip-random at 6:19 PM on November 17, 2009

I'm loving the czar thing, and comic sans- a font made exclusively for thick people. Its too much.
posted by mattoxic at 6:22 PM on November 17, 2009

I dream of the day the media — and, by extension, MeFi — quit putting these stupid conservative dumbshits in the spotlight. We don't pay attention to Time Cube Guy. We should not be paying attention to the neo(lithic)-right.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:23 PM on November 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

I wish there was a teabagger party. You know, I'd totally buy a kid's book about that.

I'm a half-decent artist who could draw circles around this stuff. I need a good writer. Come on Mefi. Let's make a really, really radical left book that can equal the troll-level crap this book spews. I'm talking... let's advocate abortion booths in the malls and Michael Moore for president or something. We can make a brazillion dollars off the people who buy our book just to burn it.
posted by Bageena at 6:24 PM on November 17, 2009 [2 favorites]

I'm no fan of Nancy Pelosi, but she's no more a radical than she is a copper beech.

Are you saying the drapes don't match the rug? Or was that a more wooden sort of humour you were portraying? I'm rather hoping the latter, because it kinda skeeves me out to ponder Pelosi's privates.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:25 PM on November 17, 2009

Oh, c'mon guys, it's a harmless goof. It's not like anyone is actually reading this to kids.
posted by meta_eli at 6:26 PM on November 17, 2009

five fresh fish, Time Cube Guy doesn't hold half the seats in Senate and make decisions that directly affect our lives.
posted by Taft at 6:28 PM on November 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Copper Beech.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:30 PM on November 17, 2009

I'm pretty sure the author is the same woman who wrote Sarah Palin's autobiography.
posted by delmoi at 6:30 PM on November 17, 2009

(that is to say, ghost wrote)
posted by delmoi at 6:31 PM on November 17, 2009