GEORGE HUTCHINS INVITES ALL BLACK, WHITE, SPANISH, AND ASIAN U.S. VOTERS TO JOIN US !!

November 24, 2009 1:36 PM

Whether or not you agree with the platform and views of Mr. George Hutchins, candidate for the 4th Congressional District of North Carolina, you must bask in the glory of the most awesome candidate website ever created.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (207 comments total)

When you're talking "Jesse Helms Republican" is there another interpretation besides "racist"? Help me out.
posted by boo_radley at 1:39 PM on November 24, 2009 [6 favorites]

My eyes! agggggghhhhh
posted by caddis at 1:40 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

I have been thinking about starting a blog called "Conservatives are Horrible Graphic Designers" for about a year. This website is all the motivation I need.
posted by elvissa at 1:40 PM on November 24, 2009 [18 favorites]

"America is a Great Nation, due to our Diversity; but ONLY WHEN, This Diversity is VOLUNTARY."

Oh, that's priceless.


Yes, America is a great nation because we have such a diverse population, but only so long as you DON"T MAKE ME TOLERATE PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT. But I'll be happy to get their votes.
posted by darkstar at 1:41 PM on November 24, 2009 [9 favorites]

There should be a seizure warning put on this post.
posted by hippybear at 1:41 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

pleasebefakepleasebefakepleasebefake
posted by The Whelk at 1:42 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

Also every time I go back to his website I pat down my pockets to make sure my wallet's still in my pants.
posted by boo_radley at 1:42 PM on November 24, 2009 [10 favorites]

All things considered, we should feel lucky that he glommed onto Impact instead of Comic Sans (although Dingbats might be more apt?).
posted by bpm140 at 1:42 PM on November 24, 2009

this is from my home state? what. no. no?

damn.
posted by past at 1:43 PM on November 24, 2009

TEDDY ROOSEVELT FOUGHT SPANISH SOLDIERS IN CUBA

OK, I'm sold.
posted by COBRA! at 1:43 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

STONEHENGE, ENGLAND. SEVENTH WONDER OF THE WORLD.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:43 PM on November 24, 2009

LET US ALL PILE UPON THE NEURO-ATYPICAL tea bagging asshole politician
posted by everichon at 1:43 PM on November 24, 2009

Shit soup with a shit sandwich on shit toast, with a side of shit gravy and shit pickles.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:43 PM on November 24, 2009 [8 favorites]

Is it 1996 again on the web? I didn't get the memo.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 1:44 PM on November 24, 2009

I refuse to support him, because he does not acknowledge the reality of the 4-simultaneous 24 hour days within a single rotation of Earth.

Yes, I've used that joke before. I gotta get a new one.
posted by jbickers at 1:44 PM on November 24, 2009 [9 favorites]

Ho lee shit.
posted by dirtdirt at 1:44 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

you must bask in the glory of the most awesome candidate website ever created in 1996
posted by not_on_display at 1:45 PM on November 24, 2009 [3 favorites]

I was told they shut down Geocities.
posted by dhartung at 1:46 PM on November 24, 2009 [23 favorites]

Well, see, I learned how to makes boxes with HTML, and then I had a few beers and just got carried away. Once the site was up, well, shit, I figured I might as well run for office. I mean, I can make boxes with HTML. I'm as qualified to be a representative as Michelle Bachman - more in fact. Because she doesn't know any HTML. Not even the "em" tag.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:46 PM on November 24, 2009 [4 favorites]

jbickers, I found you a campaign t-shirt, at least.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:47 PM on November 24, 2009 [3 favorites]

"While on extended private overseas residents travels, throughout key parts of the world, since the year 1989, I have noticed clearly, how SOCIALISM, Legalized Marijuana use, and open public tolerance, for GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL misconduct, has harmed all nations, influenced by the English speaking world, to include GERMANY."

"There are many Great Wonders to see overseas, especially in Europe, which are part of our American Heritage; but, it is a shame to go to England, Scotland, Holland, and even Germany, to see a type of moral decay, which would DISGUST most REAL CONSERVATIVES, where we MUST FIGHT to NOT go this foul direction, in America."

Oh, shit, they got Germany?!?
posted by COBRA! at 1:47 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is extraordinarily creepy.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:47 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

IF YOU'RE NOT PART OF THE SOLUTION, YOU'RE PART OF THE PRECIPITATE.
posted by GuyZero at 1:47 PM on November 24, 2009 [16 favorites]

"No wonder, Crime and Illegal Immigration are way out of control, with MASS VOTING FRAUD putting Sanford and Son, into the White House."

You are right boo_radley.
posted by caddis at 1:48 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

I can of course make great fun of the crappola site but rather than doing that I would prefer to note that LBJ passed Civil Rights legislation (rammed it through) and knew and said at the time that in so doing he would lose the South to the GOP. How right he was.

What annoys me: The hatred expressed, over and over, for the federal govt and yet usually such contempt comes from those in states tyhat get a heck of a lot more back in tax money then they put in.
posted by Postroad at 1:48 PM on November 24, 2009 [3 favorites]

It's like Send Me An Internet, but you know, real.

GEORGE HUTCHINS MADE THIS PAGE HIMSELF BEST VIEWED IN NETSCAPE NAVIGATOR @ 800 X 600
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:48 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

Our Reply, to a FAKE REPUBLICAN RINO, NC GOP Chairman, TOM FETZER: September 27, 2009, For His Recent INSULTING E-mail
posted by boo_radley at 1:48 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

New Orleans's next mayor: Are you fucking kidding me?
posted by ColdChef at 1:48 PM on November 24, 2009 [8 favorites]

Man, three lines down and I'm already reaching for my wallet:

GEORGE HUTCHINS INVITES ALL BLACK, WHITE, SPANISH, AND ASIAN U.S. VOTERS TO JOIN US !!

Didn't we just discuss this?
posted by muddgirl at 1:49 PM on November 24, 2009

Whoops, sorry about that last link: I should have labeled it "NOT SAFE FOR WORK if your work is not safe for Neo-Nazi websites."
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:49 PM on November 24, 2009

To DEFEAT OBAMA-NATION, we must take a close look at all of the "Social Engineering" contained in the so called 1964 Civil Rights Act, and take legal steps to remove this "Social Engineering" contained in the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act.

"Social Engineering," includes FORCED DIVERSITY, FORCED RACIAL INTEGRATION, Affirmative Action Quotas Based on Race, and all Privileges Based on Race, which are influenced by the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act to the U.S. Constitution.

We must use all of our resources NOW, to prevent ALL future U.S. Generations from suffering under the same bondage which were forced upon all of us, due to the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act.

Going with "not awesome."
posted by cj_ at 1:49 PM on November 24, 2009

I nominate him for mayor of GeoCities.
posted by peeedro at 1:49 PM on November 24, 2009 [9 favorites]

That is an ugly*, ugly** site.



*Visually unattractive.

**Vile.
posted by darkstar at 1:49 PM on November 24, 2009 [6 favorites]

"Errors found while checking this document as HTML 4.01 Transitional!
Result: 95 Errors, 4 warning(s)"

Actually a lower number than I was expecting.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:50 PM on November 24, 2009 [3 favorites]

Why is it that white supremacists always make such incredibly shitty websites?

White supremacists: their own best counter-argument.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:50 PM on November 24, 2009 [10 favorites]

Would he vote to send 34,000 more troops to Afghanistan?

Because if not, I'm willing to hear him out.
posted by Joe Beese at 1:50 PM on November 24, 2009

Because if not, I'm willing to hear him out.

Really? You care what neo-Nazis have to say about that?

I'm sure there are some unconnected-to-their-central-ideology issues here and there I agree with neo-Nazi candidates about, but the stopped clock is right twice a day and I don't use it to tell time.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:52 PM on November 24, 2009 [8 favorites]

This really should be set in Wingnut Sans.
posted by condour75 at 1:52 PM on November 24, 2009 [11 favorites]

This guy is batshit insane and a stone-cold asshole and a shitty webdesigner. There is nothing whatsoever good about him and I guess that makes him remarkable in a way.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:52 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

I call BS. Only 2 people running per the series of tubes.

This guy is allegedly part of an allegedly-existent party with an equally superb website.
posted by jckll at 1:53 PM on November 24, 2009

Joe Beese: I suppose we could call you a Jesse Helms Democrat^* then?


*or whatever: Libertarian, Congolese Demcratic Freedom Party, etc.
posted by boo_radley at 1:53 PM on November 24, 2009

Okay, nice site and all, but what are his politics? THERE IS NO WAY OF KNOWING
posted by Sys Rq at 1:53 PM on November 24, 2009

> This is extraordinarily creepy.

Yeah, what the hell?

ELIZABETH DOLE is a Wonderful Dear Heart, in our eyes, a 21st Century QUEEN ELIZABETH {THE FIRST},...

So. ELIZABETH DOLE is...a virgin Queen? The lady who defeated the Spanish Armada? Just the monarch you Americans need in these troubled times? Help me out here.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:54 PM on November 24, 2009 [3 favorites]

There's so much to make fun of here, but sadly I can't.

Why? Because my brain cannot fixate on anything else until I've worked out what on earth that bit about Windsor Castle is doing there. Timecube On Tour, maybe?
posted by ZsigE at 1:54 PM on November 24, 2009

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS will cease to come to America, and cease to come to North Carolina, once they find, there are NO JOBS in America, waiting for them.

Yeah I think we already have that one covered, Hutch.
posted by burnmp3s at 1:54 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

I thought that it was some sort of viral marketing site for Bruce Campbell's next movie, on first glance. I'm still not 100% convinced otherwise.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:54 PM on November 24, 2009

ANCIENT ROMAN HOT POOL
posted by greycap at 1:54 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

And I'm from North Carolina... (shakes head)
posted by CPAGirl at 1:55 PM on November 24, 2009

I have been thinking about starting a blog called "Conservatives are Horrible Graphic Designers" for about a year. This website is all the motivation I need.
posted by elvissa at 3:40 PM on November 24

Great concept but the name is way dull, you need some kind of clever conservative cliché + design pun (you're on your own there). But don't forget to make it a Project if you follow through!
posted by nanojath at 1:57 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

Goodness. It's like he was inspired by LOLcats and Geocities' passing and all the colors of the MS Paint rainbow.

Also, I think I used the same fiery-number counter design for my first website. Memories!
posted by cobwebberies at 1:57 PM on November 24, 2009

Apparently the NIM is mostly George Hutchins as well, but he's been working this shtick for a while now.

I'm sure he didn't bother to register with the ZOG-sheeple Secretary of State, because he can't be bound by the LIE-BERAL election commission and their anti-Aryan laws.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:58 PM on November 24, 2009

I'd been wondering where the graphic arts department of Spencer Gifts landed. Now I know.
posted by jet_silver at 1:58 PM on November 24, 2009 [3 favorites]

since the year 1989, I have noticed clearly, how SOCIALISM, Legalized Marijuana use, and open public tolerance, for GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL misconduct, has harmed all nations

So we can safely assume that open public tolerance for gay female homosexual misconduct is really not such a bad thing in his eyes.
posted by flarbuse at 1:59 PM on November 24, 2009

You know, on second thought, I would definitely vote for his moustache.
posted by ZsigE at 2:00 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

This was worth it if for no other reason than the screed about halfway down this page comparing the Obama administration with the cast of Sanford and Son. In case your eyes hurt too much after looking at that site he says Michelle Obama=Aunt Esther, President Obama=Lamont Sanford, Jeremiah Wright=Fred Sanford, and Henry Louis Gates=Grady Wilson.

I am speechless.
posted by TedW at 2:00 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

I know, I'm a Commie pinko fuckstick, but...

Why are guns good and cannabis bad? Just why? Why? Why isn't it up to the individual Citizen?

Why is it bad that the State interferes with your life to say you must not be racist, but it's okay that the State interferes with your life to say that you must not be homosexual?

Where are the rational, State-skeptic Conservatives? How can they stomach such special pleading? Sheesh.
posted by alasdair at 2:00 PM on November 24, 2009 [4 favorites]

"America is a Great Nation, due to our Diversity; but ONLY WHEN, This Diversity is VOLUNTARY."

I guess that rules out the Middle Passage?

Slaves, gentlemen! Black gold! Livin' gold--gold!
From:
Annn-go-laah!
Guinea-Guinea-Guinea!
Blackbirds for sale!

Aaa-shan-tiiii!
Ibo! Ibo! Ibo! Ibo!

Blackbirds for sale!
Handle them!
Fondle them!
But don't finger them!
They're prime, they're prime!

posted by orthogonality at 2:00 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

boo_radley: "Joe Beese: I suppose we could call you a Jesse Helms Democrat^* then?

Just call me not in the mood at the moment for HURF DURF REPUBLICAN NO-CHANCE when the Other Guys are actually in charge and actually killing people.

My problem. I'll shut up now.
posted by Joe Beese at 2:01 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

"California, during the 1950's, 1960's, and early 1970's, was the BEST place on EARTH to be."

"By the YEAR 2000, SAN FRANCISCO GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, became, ACCEPTED as normal public behavior, among Most California Residents."

=>"Since the YEAR 2000, California has been going down the drain, and California is NOW NOT such a GREAT place to be."

This... must be shenanigans... musn't it?
posted by robself at 2:01 PM on November 24, 2009

I bet his idea for the deficit includes something with the MillionDollarHomepage guy.
posted by mattbucher at 2:02 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

Just call me not in the mood at the moment for HURF DURF REPUBLICAN NO-CHANCE

Buh? Crazy neo-Nazi != Republican Party, dude.
posted by Sidhedevil at 2:03 PM on November 24, 2009

This... must be shenanigans... musn't it?


I don't know- let's just throw it out there. MeFi people of California, a Q:

Is California NOW NOT such a GREAT place to be?
posted by Dr-Baa at 2:03 PM on November 24, 2009

Just call me not in the mood at the moment for HURF DURF REPUBLICAN NO-CHANCE when the Other Guys are actually in charge and actually killing people.

JB, maybe you can help me find the quote, but it's rumored that at the last Summit of the Americas, when the leaders were doing their closing rounds, Hugo Chavez went up to Obama and said something like "Are you a prisoner?". He was apparently alluding to Obama having been made the bitch of the Pentagon.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:04 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

This is what happens the GOP accidentally hires a coke damaged art school drop freelance webdesigner from Williamsburg.
posted by The Straightener at 2:04 PM on November 24, 2009

You know, on second thought, I would definitely vote for his moustache.

You know who else was a Nazi with a fascinating moustache?
posted by Sidhedevil at 2:04 PM on November 24, 2009

Later, as a U.S. Marine, GEORGE HUTCHINS was awarded the U.S. Marine Corps Combat Action Ribbon, "Equal to the U.S. Army - Combat Infantry Badge," for previous participation in OPERATION DESERT STORM.

That sounds very fishy to me, Mr. Hutchins. If the Army didn't give you a CIB, what makes you think that some Marine officer would back-date an award you presumably had won during your prior service.

Aside: when it comes to ribbons and medals, the Marines are pettier than academics.
posted by jsavimbi at 2:04 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

Did everyone immediately go to "view source", or was it just me?

meta name="key words" content="FOX NEWS, Glenn Beck, Udo Voigt, NPD, william b.j.lawson, gay rights, david price, gangs of new york, new york draft riots, gay right, gay marriage, fags, faggots, webster university, university of texas at el paso, second armored division, 1991 gulf war, u.s. marines, u.s. regular army, hell on wheels, general patton, ronald reagan, vfw, veterans of foriegn wars, liberation of kuwait medal, john wayne, the alamo, elizabeth dole, george hutchins, u.s. congress, north carolina, 2010, 4th republican North Carolina district, Raleigh, Cary, Durham, Morrisville, Apex, North Carolina 4th Fourth U.S. Congrressional District, Berlin Wall, Spanish American War, 2010 Elections, David Price, Gangs of New York, Draft Riots, U.S. Civil War, Berlin Wall, Cold War, Impeach Obama, Nobama, brandenburg gate, Germany, Berlin, NIM, N.I.M. International Political Lobby, National Independents Movement, Hutchins for U.S. Congress 2010"
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 2:05 PM on November 24, 2009 [4 favorites]

he must have ported that over when geocities closed and all that crap was on sale!
posted by HuronBob at 2:06 PM on November 24, 2009

You know who else was a Nazi with a fascinating moustache?

Mr. Hutchins has a lot to say on the subject of a couple of people with fascinating moustaches.
posted by jedicus at 2:07 PM on November 24, 2009

lolwut
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 2:08 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

So, one of the banners says "End Gay marriage - Stop terrorists - Fake Republicans".

He wants republicans to be faked?
posted by lucia__is__dada at 2:08 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

"America is a Great Nation, due to our Diversity; but ONLY WHEN, This Diversity is VOLUNTARY."

I don't know if it's the underlying sentiment or the placement of the comma that's the more appalling.
Actually, I wonder if we could do a neurological study on this- maybe there's one specific tiny part of the brain that, when it malfunctions, causes you to be horrible to your fellow human beings and also, think that, it sounds right when, you talk like, this.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 2:09 PM on November 24, 2009 [4 favorites]

He stole the look from a car I saw once or twice. Either that or he crushed the thing down flat and scanned it.
posted by dilettante at 2:10 PM on November 24, 2009

> I guess that rules out the Middle Passage?

(stands up, aghast) For the love of God, Mr. Rutledge, please!
posted by cobwebberies at 2:10 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

Why is the page so fugly?

This pretty much explains the page (square brackets subst for angled):

[meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 5.0"]
[meta name="ProgId" content="FrontPage.Editor.Document"]

I thought all remaining copies of Frontpage had been confiscated long ago. I'm frightened to see some of the horror still remains on the loose.
posted by aught at 2:11 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

crash D : I did, and the National Independents Movement bit struck me as odd. reference from an old wikipedia scrap (or not?)
and the nimcrown site, which is apparently run buy Hutchins himself. You can see his youtube videos and such there as well.

I dunno, weird and ARG-y
posted by boo_radley at 2:12 PM on November 24, 2009

This guy is batshit insane and a stone-cold asshole and a shitty webdesigner. There is nothing whatsoever good about him and I guess that makes him remarkable in a way.


At least he loves a rainbow coalition of colors on his website.
posted by nola at 2:12 PM on November 24, 2009

I'd like to point out that he's flip flopping on his graphic text drop shadows. Where exactly do you stand on light source direction, Hutchins?
posted by davebush at 2:15 PM on November 24, 2009 [5 favorites]

BRITISH SOLDIER
posted by PenDevil at 2:16 PM on November 24, 2009

Where exactly do you stand on light source direction, Hutchins?



As long as the darker elements are kept far away, he's all right with it.
posted by darkstar at 2:17 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

Illiterate people are illiterate.

Can we move on now?
posted by killdevil at 2:17 PM on November 24, 2009

Dang it...I should have said:

"As long as the darker elements are kept in the background, he's all right with it."
posted by darkstar at 2:20 PM on November 24, 2009

Actually, it burns my eyes but I can't look away:

[4.] CHRIST ON U.S. DOLLARS---

IN CHRIST WE TRUST, should replace IN GOD WE TRUST, on all U.S. Currency.

This action will demonstrate that the U.S. is a Christian Nation, and non-Christians are only tolerated.

This will set a good example for ALL U.S. Allies.
posted by killdevil at 2:21 PM on November 24, 2009

Oh my good fucking God you HAVE TO READ HIS POST ABOUT lesbians and bisexual women:

My present occupation is to assist ALL REAL REPUBLICANS, and REAL CONSERVATIVES, when ever possible.

I went through quite an ALAMO experience during the year 2008, last year, as depicted in the text below the ALAMO scene, and the 2008 photo with U.S. Senator ELIZABETH DOLE.

=> ALL Political Experience, makes one a better public official.

As a former FULL-TIME U.S. Marine, and Full-Time U.S. Regular Army Soldier, I always did what was expected of me, and received the awards which I earned.

Both my Discharge Documents from both the FULL-TIME U.S. Marine Corps, and the FULL-TIME U.S. Regular Army are now online, on the HUTCHINS BIOGRAPHY section of this website, just click on DOCUMENTATION, where all U.S. Military awards which I received, are clearly stated on official U.S. Military documents.

Please NOTE the 1991 Gulf War was such a short war, and the MOST POPULAR U.S. WAR since the 1898 Spanish-American War which made TEDDY ROOSEVELT a National American Hero, where it was difficult to clearly document all acts of courage, which go beyond what was EXPECTED of ALL U.S. Solders during this very swift 1991 U.S. Military action.

On YOUR question of FEMALE LESBIANS, GAY FEMALE HOMOSEXUAULS, or BI-SEXUAL FEMALES, {Women who Love BOTH Men and other Females}, Please understand, we are speaking about the foundations of the United States of America, which were based upon the CHRISTIAN BIBLE, and the JEWISH TORAH.

Please also understand, in addition to residing in several locations throughout the world, in addition to several locations through the UNITED STATES, as an adult civilian, in addition to as a military member, and as an educated man, here is the best answer on this question:

=> ONLY GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL MISCONDUCT is Mentioned in the CHRISTIAN BIBLE, and the JEWISH TORAH, as a crime to be punished by DEATH.

=> FEMALE LESBIANS, GAY FEMALE HOMOSEXUALS, and BI-SEXUAL FEMALES, {Women who Love BOTH Men and other Females}, are NOT mentioned in the CHRISTIAN BIBLE, NOR The JEWISH TORAH as a crime, in any form.

And, what do I think about all of this ?

First, when the CHRISTIAN BIBLE and/or the JEWISH TORAH says one should be put to DEATH, if Death - Prison is NOT the penalty for such an action in 21st Century United States, it might mean, during modern times, just NOT to associate with this person who does these actions, NOT to associate with this person when they are doing these actions, and/or NOT to associate with this person when he is talking about being a GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL.

Second, If you go the HUTCHINS Campaign Site, web-page called WIN THE CULTURE WAR, all is very clear, where if one is a GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL, he should keep it to himself and among other GAY MALE HOMOSEXUALS, and NOT attempt to influence younger populations falsely, that being a GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL is normal behavior, which it is NOT !!

Further, it is very STUPID, for GIRLS WHO LOVE GIRLS, to be in the same organization as Boys who want to be Girls, but want to have boy-friends, such as the GAY - LESBIAN organizations who OBAMA - NATION, begs to have votes from.

As for vote for the GEORGE HUTCHINS FOR U.S. CONGRESS Campaign:

=> We Want NO Gay Male Homosexual Votes !!!

WE WELCOME ALL FEMALE VOTERS !!!


HAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
posted by The Straightener at 2:22 PM on November 24, 2009 [17 favorites]

So. ELIZABETH DOLE is...a virgin Queen? The lady who defeated the Spanish Armada? Just the monarch you Americans need in these troubled times? Help me out here.

Here's a hint: Bob Dole Viagra endorsement.
posted by box at 2:23 PM on November 24, 2009

If this is a parody, it is the most brilliant thing I have ever seen. If this is not a parody, it is still pretty high up there. The whole thing is gold.

Hutchinomics includes bringing Hollywood to North Carolina.
posted by jefeweiss at 2:25 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

This Teddy Roosevelt photo with that exquisite hat & the text "ROUGH RIDER" made my day. I've never felt so inclined to add some dubstep and post on YTMND.
posted by june made him a gemini at 2:25 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

the pageview count was at 55144

i will be checking back to see how many hits it has tomorrow.
posted by Hammond Rye at 2:26 PM on November 24, 2009

I don't know about you guys but Sanford & Son in the White House would be a fucking awesome TV show.

Why is it bad that the State interferes with your life to say you must not be racist, but it's okay that the State interferes with your life to say that you must not be homosexual? Where are the rational, State-skeptic Conservatives? How can they stomach such special pleading? Sheesh.

They basically jumped ship to the Libertarians or just stopped voting a long time ago.

I guess it started in the 50's and 60's when the Repubs started appealing to Southern racists. After that, they started grabbing Southern Christians (often the same people, I'm afraid) with the God, Guns 'n Gays platforms. Pretty soon your pro-market, pro-freedom "small-government" party becomes the rural/religious taliban that it is today, with a bit of Wall Street thrown in for good measure.
posted by Avenger at 2:26 PM on November 24, 2009

a type of moral decay, which would DISGUST most REAL CONSERVATIVES, where we MUST FIGHT to NOT go this foul direction, in America.

You know, like kissing people on the cheek as a form of greeting. IT is VILE and TERRIBLE and must be punished with a HOLY VENGEANCE.
posted by scrutiny at 2:26 PM on November 24, 2009

gangs of new york and hell on wheels are my favoritist of his keywords.
posted by craven_morhead at 2:26 PM on November 24, 2009

He looks like Rupert Pupkin. Except crazier.

So-- he announces that he believes in the strong division of church and state, and then goes on to declare that the US was founded on "Christian/Jewish" principles. So which is it?
posted by jokeefe at 2:28 PM on November 24, 2009

maybe there's one specific tiny part of the brain that, when it malfunctions, causes you to be horrible to your fellow human beings

There is, it's your prefrontal cortex. Apparently lesioning it can turn you into an asshole.
posted by scrutiny at 2:30 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

==> "As a professional Film-Television Actor, who has performed in lead speaking parks on both THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL and TLC The Learning Channel, in addition to, Local WRAL North Carolina Television, I can tell you with all truth, we can make better movies and televisions programs, here in North Carolina, than HOLLYWOOD, at a lower cost for each Movie - TV producer."

==> "If elected to U.S. Congress, I will take all legal ethical actions to bring HOLLYWOOD to North Carolina, which will produce countless Jobs and Careers, in addition to, stimulating Countless other industries, throughout North Carolina, which will be of financial benefit to ALL North Carolina residents."


DISCOVERY CHANNEL, THE LEARNING CHANNEL AND HOLLYWOOD? LEGAL AND ETHICAL?

SIGN ME UP!
posted by Talez at 2:32 PM on November 24, 2009

shit, where'd my wallet go?
posted by boo_radley at 2:35 PM on November 24, 2009

People who write in sentence case but with keywords in all-caps, insert spaces before punctuation that isn't a period or a comma, and often times double-up on !! & ??'s are generally my favorite.

It's so nice of them to type in this convention so I can weed them out from the get-go.
posted by june made him a gemini at 2:36 PM on November 24, 2009

lolwut
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints...

Nice find. More lolwut: his twitter feed
posted by NoMich at 2:38 PM on November 24, 2009

So-- he announces that he believes in the strong division of church and state, and then goes on to declare that the US was founded on "Christian/Jewish" principles. So which is it?

We've been going about this all wrong. Church and state must be divided, but between heathens and Christ-Blessed Americans. It's not Church OR State, it's Church AND state, just less of both for the non-believers.
posted by filthy light thief at 2:39 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

He's running in my congressional district, NC-4. This is a district that re-elects Democrat David Price by 60-40 margins every two years, and went for Barack Obama by nearly thirty points. It's not really fertile ground for this kind of teabaggerism.

(Four years ago, I was living a few miles away in NC-13 and got to vote against Vernon Robinson, who liked to refer to himself as "the black Jesse Helms." We get some real winners here.)
posted by EarBucket at 2:40 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

I can of course make great fun of the crappola site but rather than doing that I would prefer to note that LBJ passed Civil Rights legislation (rammed it through) and knew and said at the time that in so doing he would lose the South to the GOP. How right he was.

What's surprising is that the GOP managed to hold on to their Southern Strategy as long as they have. I think we're getting to the final stage, and after a few more gasps we may even see the end of it. I really hope so anyway.
posted by krinklyfig at 2:41 PM on November 24, 2009

More lolwut: his twitter feed

Priceless.
posted by EarBucket at 2:41 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

Haaaaaaaaaaaa:

DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO MAKE MY TWEETS DIFFERENT COLORS???
5:32 PM Nov 2nd from web
posted by The Straightener at 2:43 PM on November 24, 2009 [5 favorites]

Hehe.
posted by The Straightener at 2:43 PM on November 24, 2009

He can't be serious. He didn't use the blink tag at all!
posted by chairface at 2:45 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

There is, it's your prefrontal cortex.

Is there anything about grammar in there? We could call it Hutchins' Area...
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 2:46 PM on November 24, 2009

Lordy, did my video card just revert to EGA or something?
posted by blueberry at 2:48 PM on November 24, 2009 [3 favorites]

The twitter feed can't possibly be real. Can it?

SO-CALLED "CIVIL RIGHTS ACT OF 1964" BASICALLY TO BLAME FOR YANKEES WINNING THE WORLD SERIES. SOME1 CHECK MEXICANO RIVIERA'S PAPERS!!!11!!

posted by jokeefe at 2:49 PM on November 24, 2009

I call fake: "EVERYONE MAKE SURE TO CHECKKK OUT MY WEBSITE; GEORGEHUTCHINS.COM ALSO CHECKKK OUT MY MESSAGE BOARD!"
posted by jokeefe at 2:51 PM on November 24, 2009

The twitter feed is totally a gag. "checkkk out my message board"? Geesh.
posted by GuyZero at 2:51 PM on November 24, 2009

heh.
posted by GuyZero at 2:51 PM on November 24, 2009

Fake or not, whoever behind this is consistent.

Chairface, it looks like he wants to use the blink tag but doesn't know how. Heh:

GOTTA SIGN OFF THE TWITTER AND PUT IN MY NIGHTLY 6 HOURS OF FOX NEWS. SUPPORT FOX NEWS!! (ANYWAY I CAN PUT THAT IN BOLD OR FLASHING?)

posted by cobwebberies at 2:53 PM on November 24, 2009

Well. "He" doesn't know how.
posted by cobwebberies at 2:53 PM on November 24, 2009

SO-CALLED "CIVIL RIGHTS ACT OF 1964" BASICALLY TO BLAME FOR YANKEES WINNING THE WORLD SERIES. SOME1 CHECK MEXICANO RIVIERA'S PAPERS!!!11!!

Okay, that Twitter has to be fake, but that's still the funniest thing I've seen in a loooooong time.
posted by arto at 2:56 PM on November 24, 2009

Yeah, the twitter feed tips the scales from "crazy conservative" to "the way Wonkette writes about crazy conservatives."

Still pretty funny though.
posted by Doublewhiskeycokenoice at 2:56 PM on November 24, 2009

Twitter feed's totally fake. Fake comedy gold.
posted by box at 3:00 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

Oh he's a keeper.
posted by Webbster at 3:05 PM on November 24, 2009

The twitter feed can't possibly be real.

Twitter feed is fake; Hutchins is real.
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:08 PM on November 24, 2009

Yeah, the twitter feed tips the scales from "crazy conservative" to "the way Wonkette writes about crazy conservatives."

Hutchins is real, but the Twitter feed isn't.
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:08 PM on November 24, 2009

Hutchins is real, but the Twitter feed isn't.

Ok, I can buy that. Not that it really matters. He might as well be writing the Twitter feed himself since the rest of his writing is equally coherent. No matter how it shakes out this whole thing is a hoot.
posted by Doublewhiskeycokenoice at 3:13 PM on November 24, 2009

So, he was compared to George Harrison (and no one said NOTHING either) and he's insulted?
Now I'm confused.
posted by OHenryPacey at 3:14 PM on November 24, 2009

Someone should do a study looking into the correlation between insanity and the <font> tag. Kind of a chicken/egg situation, I would think.
posted by brundlefly at 3:27 PM on November 24, 2009

When I saw the "CHECKKK" tweet, I figured that had to be fake, so I looked at the whois for the website; it's registered to Paul Beach, who apparently lives in Toronto and is also the registrant for nimcrown.us. I think the website has to be fake too. As much as it warms my black little heart to think that rabid conservatives are all this dumb, it's just too good and Time-Cubey to be true.
posted by me & my monkey at 3:36 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

I told you all the real Republicans are stuck in the Eighties.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 3:41 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

me & my monkey: "it's registered to Paul Beach, who apparently lives in Toronto and is also the registrant for nimcrown.us. I think the website has to be fake too. As much as it warms my black little heart to think that rabid conservatives are all this dumb, it's just too good and Time-Cubey to be true."

perhaps it is not he who is dumb
posted by boo_radley at 3:44 PM on November 24, 2009

This guy is allegedly part of an allegedly-existent party with an equally superb website.

My eyes! My poor fucking eyes!!! Why did I click it? Tell me why!
posted by MikeMc at 3:52 PM on November 24, 2009

looked at the whois for the website; it's registered to Paul Beach, who apparently lives in Toronto and is also the registrant for nimcrown.us. I think the website has to be fake too.

So you're arguing that Paul Beach made fake neo-Nazi websites for this actual neo-Nazi? Fake websites that mimicked Hutchins's Linked In account?

Why?
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:57 PM on November 24, 2009

I wish it were within my power to make Sniffy's Icehouse the three wolf moon shirt of self-published historical novels (with all proceeds going to re-elect Obama of course), but alas, 'tis i who am too lazy.
posted by OHenryPacey at 3:59 PM on November 24, 2009

Hutchins's ResistNet.com page is something to behold as well.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:00 PM on November 24, 2009

MISTER BOJANGLES ROBINSON BECAME SUCCESSFUL WITHOUT AFFIRMATIVE ACTION, AND WITHOUT PRIVILEGES BASED ON RACE.

GEORGE HUTCHINS INVITES ALL BLACK, WHITE, SPANISH, AND ASIAN U.S. VOTERS TO JOIN US !!
posted by ignignokt at 4:06 PM on November 24, 2009

Fake websites that mimicked Hutchins's Linked In account?

The LinkedIn page has far less crazy on it. It seems plausible to me that the LinkedIn account could be real, while the crazy, crazy websites could be fake.

Why?

Hier ist kein Warum.
posted by me & my monkey at 4:08 PM on November 24, 2009

"HUTCHINS BIOGRAPHY: Awards - Military Service - Eduction" (first screenful of home page) Seems like the "eduction" at least didn't work so well.
posted by infobomb at 4:13 PM on November 24, 2009

Poor Teddy.
posted by HostBryan at 4:14 PM on November 24, 2009

I just clicked through to this most awesome website while listening to that Jeff Buckley tune on Mefi Music, and I gotta tell you, a better combination of sight and sound could not be imagined. It was truly the Fantasia of wingnuttery.
posted by adamrice at 4:14 PM on November 24, 2009

The LinkedIn page has far less crazy on it. It seems plausible to me that the LinkedIn account could be real, while the crazy, crazy websites could be fake.

Okay, fair enough. But apparently Mr. Hutchins has filed intent with the FEC (also here).

So your hypothesis would be that he's taking this seriously enough to file with the FEC, but not seriously enough to notice that someone's making crazy campaign websites in his name and running around linking them all over the Internet on sites like ResistNet?

The more parsimonious explanation to me would be that this Paul Beach guy is his webmaster.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:21 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm going to call the "campaign office" number tomorrow and ask what's up.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:23 PM on November 24, 2009

Sidhedevil, maybe you'd call the NC GOP chair and see if he really did talk with Hutchins, too?
posted by boo_radley at 4:28 PM on November 24, 2009

Sidhedevil, maybe you'd call the NC GOP chair and see if he really did talk with Hutchins, too?

Will do! Will call the office, at least--the chair may or may not be there tomorrow, it being the day before Thanksgiving.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:35 PM on November 24, 2009

=> We Want NO Gay Male Homosexual Votes !!!


Not to worry, there, sport.
posted by darkstar at 4:49 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

This was worth it if for no other reason than the screed about halfway down this page comparing the Obama administration with the cast of Sanford and Son. In case your eyes hurt too much after looking at that site he says Michelle Obama=Aunt Esther, President Obama=Lamont Sanford, Jeremiah Wright=Fred Sanford, and Henry Louis Gates=Grady Wilson.

That makes Joe Biden what...Hoppy the Cop?
posted by jonmc at 4:51 PM on November 24, 2009

Joe Biden is the Puerto Rican guy's yard goat.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:06 PM on November 24, 2009

I don't really think of Rev. Wright as having an opening-credits kind of role in the Obama administration. I wouldn't even go 'special guest star.'
posted by box at 5:07 PM on November 24, 2009

No Sys Rq, Joe Biden is the tubby southern dude who moved in with Fred in the post-Lamont spinoff entitled simply Sanford.
posted by jonmc at 5:14 PM on November 24, 2009

Where are the rational, State-skeptic Conservatives? How can they stomach such special pleading? Sheesh.

Those who spoke out were denounced, mobbed, put on rails, run out of town, tarred, feathered, and then kicked and spat upon by the Limbaugh/O'Reilly/Palin/Beck faithful. Those who were left looked at each other uneasily, swallowed nervously, then got down on their knees and proved that they'd learned their lesson.
posted by emjaybee at 5:17 PM on November 24, 2009

I bet they're so excited at the campaign office about the sudden increase in traffic. If they only knew so many of us are there simply to deride both their politics and website-creating capabilities.
posted by bright knight at 5:19 PM on November 24, 2009

It has to be fake, it resizes properly with the browser window.
posted by mek at 5:20 PM on November 24, 2009

the most awesome candidate website ever created.

There's only one thing that would put it over the top as awesomest website evar. And you Opera and Firefox users know what I'm talking about.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:27 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

That guy, sure, likes commas.
posted by Duke999R at 5:36 PM on November 24, 2009

Maybe he's a Commanist.
posted by jonmc at 5:44 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

That guy, sure, likes commas.

Then why on earth does he abuse them like that?
posted by Sys Rq at 5:46 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

You only hurt the ones you love.

And minorities, evidently.
posted by darkstar at 5:49 PM on November 24, 2009

The timecube guy is doing webpage design now? Finally! My website will get the fucking attention it doesn't deserves!
posted by Bageena at 6:09 PM on November 24, 2009

4TH CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT OF NORTH CAROLINA
HAS 4 CORNER
SIMULTANEOUS GOP
POISON TREE CUBE
IN ONLY 24 HOUR OBAMA-NATION
posted by armage at 6:13 PM on November 24, 2009

Incidentally, what's his position on side hugs?
posted by armage at 6:19 PM on November 24, 2009 [3 favorites]

That web-site looks like it should have mariachi music pumping out of it while driving too fast along the streets of a Mexican border town.
posted by spacely_sprocket at 6:39 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

DEUTCHE KLICKEN HIER Some of that NIM crap is even translated into German.
posted by Daddy-O at 6:40 PM on November 24, 2009

Shit soup with a shit sandwich on shit toast, with a side of shit gravy and shit pickles.

You're fuckin' drunk again, Lahey.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:42 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

Hey, the sole Amazon reviewer of Paul Beach's Sniffy's Icehouse also seems to like him some commas:

In a world of ever encroaching technological advances, that rob us of our connection with the natural world, and our eternal bond with each other, along comes a tale that rips the curtain of time away, to a simpler era - the Ice Age. In Paul Beach's new novel, Sniffy's Icehouse, just such an experience, can be found.

posted by mr vino at 6:43 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

Hutchins's ResistNet.com page is something to behold as well.

It also has a link to nimcrown. And the nimcrown Tribute to Black History page:

is dedicated to Black Persons, {African Americans}, who did well in their careers WITHOUT Privileges Based on Race, NOR Barack Hussein Obama, Affirmative Action Style, Socialism.

Going back to the George Hutchins page, he has this to say about Rep. David Price:

DRAFT-DODGERS like David Price, triggered the 1863 New York DRAFT RIOTS, and influenced the recent film, called: THE GANGS OF NEW YORK, in which, IRISH Rioters, were angry, because wealthy persons like David Price were able to BRIBE their way out fighting in the U.S. Civil War, while at the same time, WORKING-CLASS Americans were being slaughtered on U.S. Civil War Battlefields."

I did not realize that David Price was that old.

Finally, I was struck by this on his front page

4th District:
-Raleigh, Durham, Cary, Morrisville, Hillsborough, Chapel Hill, Apex, Carrboro, ETC;

So we have this monstrosity of a web page jammed full of stories and details yet, when he comes to listing the cities and towns of his voting district, he lets a lot of places come under the banner of "etc." The districts have irregular shapes and someone might be a bit confused as to what district they live in. For example, I live right on the border but I'm actually in NC-2. It wouldn't be that great an effort to either a) include a map or b) list all the cities. After all, there might be someone in Fuquay-Varina who likes his ideas but doesn't realize they live in NC-4. This leads me to think that George Hutchins hasn't a clue in hell of how to run a campaign.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:15 PM on November 24, 2009

See. This is the core of the right wing. The base.

Sure a couple of these fetal alcohol babies have a few operating neurons, a modicum of ambition, and manage to slither their way past a gate keeper or two and get a talk show or a senate seat. But mostly they are like this. Total morons who won't ever achieve shit. Yeah even a demented five year old can burn down the house. But they can't build anything lasting. they can only temporarily destroy. Not much to fear, really.
posted by tkchrist at 7:19 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

I searched through 159 messages to this point and found no mention of "pornstache". You people are slacking off.
posted by gimonca at 7:22 PM on November 24, 2009 [2 favorites]

This is a district that re-elects Democrat David Price by 60-40 margins every two years, and went for Barack Obama by nearly thirty points.

And despite that, David Price is a mostly spineless, middle-of-the-road Democrat who almost never takes any risks on left-leaning issues that would put him out ahead of even part of the crowd on Capitol Hill. He's been there forever and just gets more and more disappointing as his seat gets safer and safer.

Pathetic. I'm in that district, too, and I stopped voting for him years ago.
posted by mediareport at 7:38 PM on November 24, 2009

It made me nauseous, for lots of reasons.

Seriously, I am now physically ill. I'm going to go take a hot shower...
posted by TooFewShoes at 8:07 PM on November 24, 2009

My eyes! The googles, they do nothing!!!
posted by Jikido at 8:11 PM on November 24, 2009

Yeah, this is all fine and dandy, but will he pass the litmus test?
posted by blucevalo at 8:21 PM on November 24, 2009

This leads me to think that George Hutchins hasn't a clue in hell of how to run a campaign.

That among many other things, yes. Also, the "raising no money except for a self-loan" is another clue.

This is the core of the right wing.

Bullshit. I am no fan of the American right wing, but neo-Nazis aren't the "core".
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:21 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

Yeah, this is all fine and dandy, but will he pass the litmus test?

Wow. I love that Reagan himself wouldn't pass that test. YOU'RE NOT A FRIEND OF REAGAN IF YOU'RE NOT WAY MORE RIGHT-WING THAN REAGAN!
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:23 PM on November 24, 2009 [3 favorites]

I am no fan of the American right wing, but neo-Nazis aren't the "core".

Where does it say he's a neo-nazi?
posted by tkchrist at 8:32 PM on November 24, 2009

Yeah. I just looked it over again. Not a sigle swashtika or mention of how awesome Hitler was.

No Neo-Nazi I have ever heard about has blazing banners touting their support for Israel or say that "America was Founded upon the Teachings of the Christian Bible, and the Teachings of the Jewish Torah."

No. What we have here is certainly slightly more deranged wing-nutty than the average base of the GOP but hardly more racist. Likely a bit mentally ill. But really a great distillation of the base. Perhaps you don't know what we mean when we say 'base." It ain't George Will, John McCain or Christine Todd Whitman.

Nope. It's spot on. Obviously you don't watch Limbaugh, Coulter, Hannity, Lou Dobbs or Glen Beck. So to you I say counter-Bullshit. I trump your bullshit with better factual bullshit.
posted by tkchrist at 8:49 PM on November 24, 2009

This is what happens when they let Grandma out of the home and back to her Windows ME playground.

I feel so dirty, plus the mix of fonts is giving me a butt pucker.

I must do a colon cleanse and take a shower.


.
posted by ~Sushma~ at 9:21 PM on November 24, 2009

Obviously you don't watch Limbaugh, Coulter, Hannity, Lou Dobbs or Glen Beck.

Good God, I hope not.
posted by Michael Roberts at 9:39 PM on November 24, 2009

Yeah. I just looked it over again. Not a sigle swashtika or mention of how awesome Hitler was.

Poke around some of the nimcrown stuff, you'll find the Free Ernst Zundel page and the Rudolph Hess got screwed page. Make of those what you will.
posted by MikeMc at 9:51 PM on November 24, 2009

Poke around some of the nimcrown stuff, you'll find the Free Ernst Zundel page and the Rudolph Hess got screwed page. Make of those what you will.

See, I think that just goes to show that these clowns don't even know what they believe. They're just an amalgam of Aggrieved White Dude with no coherent ideology to tie it all together. They can talk out of both sides of their mouths because they have no idea what either side is really saying Just some bullshit they read on Hannity's blog mixed in with a little from Stormfront and maybe some of your dad's crazy rantings after half a bottle of whiskey and you've got your average teabagger's level of political awareness. Oh, I didn't mention anything about the gold standard, there should be something about the gold standard in there too.
posted by Doublewhiskeycokenoice at 10:15 PM on November 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

I live in NC4, and this made me laugh to the point of tears. I've been fighting a personal battle over whether to help this, most, AWESOME of TROLLS do his most EXCELLENT work by faking some earnest librul outrage here, but I have to be straight with you: troll troll troll TROLL troll troll troll troll TROLL troll troll troll troll TROLL troll troll troll troll TRRROOOOOOOLLLLL!
posted by tarheelcoxn at 10:48 PM on November 24, 2009

Look, there's Jessie Helms in a pretty freudian slip.
posted by flabdablet at 12:34 AM on November 25, 2009

YOU ARE ALL LIBERALIZED STUPID!!!!!!
posted by pyramid termite at 12:55 AM on November 25, 2009

Most persons in mainstream U.S. born between 1960-1975, saw RICARDO MONTALBAN as a type of mature uncle, or even as a positive father figure role model.

It is very clear RICARDO MONTALBAN was the same man both on the screen, as well as, off the screen.

This is why most Americans believed in RICARDO MONTALBAN.
posted by The Bridge on the River Kai Ryssdal at 6:03 AM on November 25, 2009

If this is a parody, it is the most brilliant thing I have ever seen.

Indeed. I'd run it a distant second to Boilerplate however.

But apparently it is real? I'm incapable of grasping that.
posted by juiceCake at 7:04 AM on November 25, 2009

So your hypothesis would be that he's taking this seriously enough to file with the FEC, but not seriously enough to notice that someone's making crazy campaign websites in his name and running around linking them all over the Internet on sites like ResistNet?

Yeah, that's about it. Because a lot of people his age are pretty oblivious to the internet. Like my father-in-law.
posted by me & my monkey at 8:01 AM on November 25, 2009

Robert Goulet is not good with web design, it appears.
posted by spamguy at 8:03 AM on November 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

I DON'T KNOW GEORGE HUTCHINS FROM ADAM'S HOUSECAT BUT I WOULD WAGER THAT HE MAKES SALMON FOR TOAST ON AN ANNUAL BASIS
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:45 AM on November 25, 2009

Where does it say he's a neo-nazi?

On the NINCrown site. It's pretty clear about that, tkchrist.


So I haven't gotten any answer at either the Hutchins Campaign HQ or at the NCGOP office. Will try again on Monday, as these turkeys are probably busy with Thanksgiving and all.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:45 AM on November 25, 2009

I've been giving serious thought to joining the Tea-Bagger movement lately. We're else, outside of an insane asylum, can you put on airs of salt of the earth common sense and gritty neo-constitutionalist patriotism and have so little logic, reason, or understanding of reality.

It's the ultimate fantabulists society this side of the 60s drug movement or the DADA surrealists. There is no out there statement or belief you can have as a tea-bagger that will be greeted with skepticism, as long as it's crazy enough and has the proper amount of paranoia and rage and misguided loony bin flag covered patriotism as its root cause. All means justify the ends. So basically its FUN, PROFIT, FRIENDSHIP and probably a fair amount of TEA-BAGGER sex-romps yours for the taking as long as you don't mind talking about Reagan, Glen BEck and Sarah Palin all the time in reverent tones...

The Tea-bagger movement: It's like being a deadhead, but FOX news follows you around.
posted by Skygazer at 9:04 AM on November 25, 2009

German neo-Nazis: We're pro-Israel, condemn anti-Semitism
posted by No Robots at 9:09 AM on November 25, 2009

Plus all the ball sucking.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:09 AM on November 25, 2009

Plus, and this is the best part, you get to make your website look like a Geocities eye-strain epileptic seizure causing extravaganza!!
posted by Skygazer at 9:13 AM on November 25, 2009

Burhanistan: Plus all the ball sucking.

K, let me add that in....

The Tea-Bagger Movement: It's like being a deadhead, but FOX news follows you around and sucks your balls.
posted by Skygazer at 9:24 AM on November 25, 2009 [2 favorites]

Eric Idle's been tapped for the biopic.
posted by Artful Codger at 9:49 AM on November 25, 2009

Let's all just be thankful that there isn't a fucking midi file blaring out America the Beautiful.
posted by 8dot3 at 10:47 AM on November 25, 2009

Holy shit. Someone recommend that designer to Sarah palin.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 12:16 PM on November 25, 2009

On the NINCrown site. It's pretty clear about that, tkchrist.

Minus the crazy all caps and overt wing-nuttery I see absolutely no material difference between the GOP base views on race, immigration, homosexuality, Obama, and Islam, and ever other "policy" positioned mentioned on that site by Mr. Hutchins.

Oh. How the Neo-Nazi's have fallen. I guess they just couldn't hold on to the Israel Jew Banker Conspiracy keeping down the white man anymore and must've changed with the times. Can no one hold on to tradition anymore?

So. If Hutchins is a Neo-Nazi, and reflects acuratly modern Neo-Nazi views, then there is no material difference between the positions of Neo-Nazi's and the GOP base. Ergo the GOP base may as well be Neo-Nazi's. Ergo my premis this guy is a perfect distillation of the Republican Base still holds.

Again then I call double counter-bullshit to your earlier call of bullshit on my bullshit and I still win. You lose at the internets, Sidehedevil.
posted by tkchrist at 12:17 PM on November 25, 2009

Eric Idle's been tapped for the biopic.

Only because Peter Sellers is dead.
posted by juiceCake at 12:18 PM on November 25, 2009

Oh. BTW the NIM Crown site also re-iterates Beck, Limbaugh, Coulter, - the frigg'n core voices of the GOP - and not once mentions how awesome Nazism is. Only some bizarre rant of how Chaplin and Hitler were a lot alike. Not one word endorsing the tenets of National Socialism, not one Swastika.
posted by tkchrist at 12:32 PM on November 25, 2009

Let the eeeeeeeevil soooooooaaaaar....!
posted by darkstar at 1:31 PM on November 25, 2009 [4 favorites]

I'm more afraid of the Nazi's that don't display their swastika's, than the ones who do.
posted by Skygazer at 1:41 PM on November 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

Not one word endorsing the tenets of National Socialism, not one Swastika

Perhaps this page will change your mind. Also, the black cross-in-red-shield thing is a very common swastika-substitute among white supremacist groups. It's meant to a) evoke the Iron Cross, and b) get around bans on the Nazi swastika.

From the page:

It is certain that Herr Dieter Finke now resides in Valhalla, a special place in heaven for all fallen Nordic Germanic Heroes.

Yeah, I'm obviously stretching things to imagine that Hutchins is a neo-Nazi.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:49 PM on November 25, 2009

gain then I call double counter-bullshit to your earlier call of bullshit on my bullshit and I still win. You lose at the internets, Sidehedevil.

Sorry, I missed this piece of asshattery. Yeah, I guess you win. The guy who talks about "Nordic Germanic Heroes" isn't a neo-Nazi at all.

Oh, no, that's not what I meant. I meant TRIPLE-BULLSHIT NO TAKEBACKSIES! DIBS ON THE INTERNET NO BACKSIES!
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:50 PM on November 25, 2009

More Nazi-lovin' wackiness from the NIMCrown website--sorry for the post-string, but I meant to include this particular gem in the last one.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:56 PM on November 25, 2009

Yeah, I'm obviously stretching things to imagine that Hutchins is a neo-Nazi.

No. Not at all. Mr. Hutchins seems to really dig The Third Reich. Other than the Nazi obsession I just don't see any actual tenets central to the belief in Nazism separate from the usual GOP wingnut stuff.

Where your stretching things is your original claim assuming the Base of the GOP is distinguishable from Neo-Nazis. Since pretty much everything Hutchins believes is riffed out of the GOP wing-nut talking points.

So. Yeah. That's scary. The GOP has gone so far as to be indistinguishable from Neo-nazis.
posted by tkchrist at 4:32 PM on November 25, 2009

I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:46 PM on November 25, 2009

there isn't a fucking midi file blaring out America the Beautiful

Lemme see if I can fix that for you.
posted by flabdablet at 5:52 PM on November 25, 2009

I still can't get over this new flavor of Neo-Nazi that apparently loves Israel, embraces the Torah, denies the holocaust happened, and wants non-whites to vote.

Jesus. What's left of actual Nazism? Just the outfits? I mean sure the Gestapo were snappy dressers and all, but the Neo-Nazis in my day were all about cross-burnings, blaming the Jews, armored car robberies, and telling you how awesome the Holocaust was.

Seriously. It's like they all read a Coulter book and threw their hands up and went "Ditch the goosestep, boys. The Fuhrer is talking through this peroxide blond now."
posted by tkchrist at 6:07 PM on November 25, 2009

I think my eyes are screaming.
posted by rageagainsttherobots at 7:49 PM on November 25, 2009

He has a "Free Ernst Zundel" page on his site. He's a neo-Nazi.
posted by jokeefe at 8:19 PM on November 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

^^^
Sorry, I missed that somebody had already pointed out the Zundel page.
posted by jokeefe at 8:46 PM on November 25, 2009

Well. Ahem.

In spite of witnessed angry outbursts, during final critical moments during April, 1945, like a Christ having doubts on the cross, blaming almost everyone for the way the war went, Adolf Hitler for History, and the Official Government Record, stated that most German Civilians, and German Military Members did very well fighting during World War Two, and defending Berlin.
posted by jokeefe at 8:54 PM on November 25, 2009

Neo-Nazis find the teabaggers quite palatable. Glenn Beck is waking up the white sheeple!
posted by ignignokt at 9:34 PM on November 25, 2009

I just don't see any actual tenets central to the belief in Nazism separate from the usual GOP wingnut stuff.--tkchrist

Well, there is the nationalism and the socialism. Hmm, maybe you're right after all, except for the wingnut part. Perhaps one could say that, by purging itself of its insane racialism, national socialism is part of the mainstream. Even their social darwinism is not far off what many consider respectable.
posted by No Robots at 9:06 AM on November 26, 2009