June 29, 2001

11:07 AM

Yesterday, the Good Morning Silicon Valley webpage at the SJ Merc (which I love since it keeps me from having to see CNET's god awful ads) had an interesting blurb as an offshoot of the whole NY cell-phone safety debacle (scroll to the last item.) Columnist John Paczkowski asked if it was possible to change your pants in a moving car at 65 miles an hour. He got some pretty funny responses. What have YOU done in a moving car that you shouldn't have?
posted by machaus (23 comments total)

I suggest that you should send your reader to the fianal part of the lengthy case, which even the writer admits is very long and difficult...having just read No Logo, I can appreciate what is going on. Thanks for the piece.
posted by Postroad at 11:11 AM on June 29, 2001

What have YOU done in a moving car that you shouldn't have?

Jumping out of it at 50 mph would have to be my dumbest.
posted by Kino at 11:33 AM on June 29, 2001

Mr Bean changed from pyjamas into a full set of clothes while on his way to the dentist and without cruise control.
posted by Zootoon at 11:34 AM on June 29, 2001

in an Austin Mini no less...
posted by machaus at 11:47 AM on June 29, 2001

What have YOU done in a moving car that you shouldn't have?

I'm not sure I can answer that. Wait, I sorta just did.
posted by jragon at 11:47 AM on June 29, 2001

It.
posted by jpoulos at 11:47 AM on June 29, 2001

I used to have my calc book wide open, with a legal pad, pen, and calculator, studying for my tests during my commute to the university...
posted by fusinski at 12:00 PM on June 29, 2001

On lonely stretches on route 17 in New York I would close my eyes and see how far/long I could drive, using the rumble strips as guides.
posted by panopticon at 12:01 PM on June 29, 2001

Writing notes next to directions on a peice of paper, leaning on the steering wheel for support while merging onto the highway... yeah, that's probably pretty dumb. At least there's no one on the highway at 2am.
posted by tomorama at 12:03 PM on June 29, 2001

flipped over.
posted by panopticon at 12:07 PM on June 29, 2001

I once tossed a cigarette butt out the driver's side front window, had it fly back in the backseat driver's side window, blow around in the back seat for a little bit, then flip up and land in my hair (still lit). About five seconds elapsed time between toss and landing. I took it off the road, onto the shoulder, into the ditch and back out onto the road while slamming on the breaks and smacking the back of my own head as hard as I possibly could.

If you thing cell phones are distracting, try lighting your hair on fire.
posted by UncleFes at 12:11 PM on June 29, 2001

Drugs. Lots of 'em.
posted by Hackworth at 12:22 PM on June 29, 2001

Drugs. Lots of 'em.

That'd be when all the roadsigns start looking like liquorice allsorts (well, more like this come to think of it).

Back in my lsd complimented youth i remember being a passenger in a car suddenly 'speeding' out of a 10 minute fog patch on the highway and realizing we'd been doing 7 mph all along.

If you thing cell phones are distracting, try lighting your hair on fire

Or, combine the two, have someone record the call, and get more hits than the jerkyboys.
posted by Kino at 12:44 PM on June 29, 2001

Firecrackers, bottle rockets, roman candles...
posted by spilon at 12:50 PM on June 29, 2001

beat the first two areas of "Wario Land" on game boy.

brushed my teeth.

rubbed spaghetti noodles on a caribou (maybe).
posted by mcsweetie at 1:59 PM on June 29, 2001

as an aside, has anyone ever driven with their teeth? I do all the time, encumbered or not, just to freak out my passengers.
posted by mcsweetie at 2:00 PM on June 29, 2001

i do the tooth-driving thing, too, same reason.
posted by raedyn at 2:18 PM on June 29, 2001

passing ketchup packets to our friends in another car, so that we could both bombard our other friends' car with them, all at 90 mph.
posted by rorycberger at 4:19 PM on June 29, 2001

oh, and for freaking your passengers out, nothing beats turning off your headlights on a dark windy road that you know really well (like the one i live on).
posted by rorycberger at 4:20 PM on June 29, 2001

There's built-in bias in this thread. If you want to know the *really* wild things people have done, you should talk to some dead people.
posted by rodii at 4:40 PM on June 29, 2001

In my unfortunately drug-free youth, I once popped on the cruise control and jumped in the backseat, just express my irritation with the flat boring nature of the Florida highways.
My friends where not pleased.
posted by dong_resin at 7:17 PM on June 29, 2001

Ahem. Were not pleased.
I'm typoing like a madman this week.
posted by dong_resin at 7:53 PM on June 29, 2001

Made up a drinking game on a brief road trip. (Yes, it was stupid. When I was young and irresponsible, I was young and irresponsible.). It went something like this:

See a semi truck: drink once
Go under an overpass: drink once
See a mile marker: drink once
See a roadkill: chug it

The car was filled with me and my friends yelling: "Semi (glug)... semi (glug)... mile markerrrrr (glug)... ROADKILL!!! (glugglugglug).
posted by Dirjy at 9:35 PM on June 29, 2001