I used to enjoy watching Evil Knievel; and I feel bad for him now. He’s a little older, he doesn’t jump.- Brian Regan
But he always does these, uh, talk shows, and every time he does one, they wanna show him that footage where he fell off the motorcycle and bounced around like 83 times. That’s what they show him!
"Hey, do you remember that day, Evil?"
"Oh, nooo. I don’t remember..."
And they always ask him what he was thinking right before he hit the ground. What kind of question is that? "What were you thinkin’ right before you hit the ground, Evil? What were ya thinkin’?"
"I remember thinking, 'Hey, did I turn off the iron?’ Then my leg cracked in half, then I was thinking, 'Hey, maybe I should get a puppy!'
"What do you think I was thinkin'? I was thinkin' AAAAAHHHHHHHH!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Sumthin’ like that, if I remember right. Lemme go back: yeah, yeah, AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! I believe those were my thoughts. I hope I’ve crystallized them for you..."
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posted by Dysk at 6:56 PM on November 28, 2009