Heard it from a friend

December 2, 2009 1:47 PM

"Just when we thought we had done it all, along comes an awesome video game, where millions of people around the world can interact with us, and our music. How cool is that?" says Kevin Cronin, lead singer of REO Speedwagon. (via)
posted by Joe Beese (51 comments total)

This has nothing on the Journey Video Game.
posted by Lazlo Hollyfeld at 1:51 PM on December 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

I already heard about this from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from another.
posted by Ratio at 1:53 PM on December 2, 2009 [35 favorites]

When this game comes out, the press blurbs that the publisher will slap on the front of the box to help sell the product will pretty much write themselves. No reviewer will be able to resist cribbing lyrics from the band's catalog. Consider these examples:

"Like a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night!" - Game Explorer

"I just wanna keep on playin' you!" - Next Iteration

"Ooh, it's such a good find!" - Pro Gamer

"Time for you to buy!" - NGI.com

"Take it on the fun!" - Akimbo.com

"You can take this game to bed with you and hold onto it at night!" - Digital Gaming Quarterly

I also have similar blurbs prepared in case Huey Lewis and the News ever get their own game, too.

Taken from my blog, incidentally.
posted by Servo5678 at 1:54 PM on December 2, 2009 [6 favorites]

Huh. I had no idea there was actually a REO Speed Wagon. I was postulating on the combination of weed and late-night TV viewing that would have generated that name.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 1:57 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

RobotVoodooPower: indeed, named for Ransom Eli Olds, whose name also graces the Oldsmobile.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:59 PM on December 2, 2009

$8? Pricing is positioning people. $8 says "not free" yet "too crappy to be willing charging you much". Call me when the $20/month "World of SpeedWagon" comes out.
posted by GuyZero at 2:05 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

How cool is that?

Scientific research suggests that this would be only .05% cool, which, in layman's terms, would be "not very cool at all."
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:07 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

They played a benefit concert for my high school when it burned down. I didn't go, but I still think that was pretty cool of them.
posted by LordSludge at 2:08 PM on December 2, 2009

My favorite REO.
posted by leetheflea at 2:08 PM on December 2, 2009

Yeah, "the wag'n" is dead to me ever since they sued REO Speeddealer into changing their name.
posted by damehex at 2:10 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

Reference to Journey Escape in the first comment. Dang.

Okay, uh, I bet this game will be better than that Aerosmith light-gun monstrosity.
posted by box at 2:16 PM on December 2, 2009

Scientific research suggests that this would be only .05% cool, which, in layman's terms, would be "not very cool at all."

I suggest you review your data. My calculations suggest that it is in fact .0000000001% cool. Which, by an amazing coincidence, is the precise coolness rating of a frozen lump of shit.
posted by MajorDundee at 2:21 PM on December 2, 2009

Video games and rock music? The kids are gonna LOVE this!
posted by dirtdirt at 2:26 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

*quietly slips frozen lump of shit paperweight into desk drawer*
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 2:27 PM on December 2, 2009 [9 favorites]

> $8? Pricing is positioning people. $8 says "not free" yet "too crappy to be willing charging you much". Call me when the $20/month "World of SpeedWagon" comes out.

That's $8 per online playing session, GuyZero. Play it a couple hours a night over a week or two and it'll cost a Serious Game For Serious Gamers price.
posted by ardgedee at 2:28 PM on December 2, 2009

Is THIS the new Bioshock game?
posted by Bageena at 2:32 PM on December 2, 2009

Scientific research suggests that this would be only .05% cool...

I suggest you review your data. My calculations suggest that it is in fact .0000000001% cool.

Gentlemen, you may yet be both be right! In the 14 minutes between your postings, it's entirely possible that this became 0.0499999999% less cool as more people found out about it. What we have here is not an coolness calibration problem, but indisputable evidence for REO Speedwagon warming.
posted by bonehead at 2:36 PM on December 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

Wow - an 80's band excited about a 90's video game.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:49 PM on December 2, 2009

Next up,

• World of Wham!craft
• Grand Theft Thompsons Twins
• Yaz' Revenge (A giant Allison Moyet head attempts to cross a staticy barrier to her homeworld)
• Nintendogs: Pet Shop Boys edition
• Pink Floyd Presents Pong

posted by boo_radley at 2:51 PM on December 2, 2009 [8 favorites]

I prefer REO Speedealer.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:53 PM on December 2, 2009

As a Sims player (Sims 1 through 3 inclusive), if there are no provisions for drowning Kevin Cronin in a swimming pool, giggling as Dave Amato wets his pants in the living room, or forcing Neal Doughty to eat a diet consisting solely of grilled cheese sandwiches, my interest is negligible.
posted by ErikaB at 2:54 PM on December 2, 2009

$8 per session? Holy f*CK ......Bonehead, I think the coolness calibration has just dropped a bit more. I appreciate the scientific data on this. (Dead-on and quite funny!) Your data made me realize that I actually can Fight this Feeling....and spend the $8 bucks on Red Bull or something more life-affirming...perhaps a do-it-yourself lobotomy.
posted by snap_dragon at 2:59 PM on December 2, 2009

For all the crap they take, they were a pretty good band, really.

However, if there's one thing people want less than an REO Speedwagon album from 2007, it's a video game based on an REO Speedwagon album from 2007.
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:03 PM on December 2, 2009

Also:

“We build digital experiences beyond a typical Web site, which offer long, interactive times between the content and the consumer,” said Adam Blumenthal, president and chief executive at Curious Sense in Durham, N.C.

Wow. Spoken like a guy who's got some flaming text on his website.
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:04 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

I made it a long way, possibly a record-setting length, in life thinking this band's name involved a popular black and white sandwich-type cookie. I think I'm going to go have some of those, actually. Thanks for the post.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:05 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

I used to have an Oldsmobile.
posted by box at 3:14 PM on December 2, 2009

Here's a real REO Speedwagon.
posted by bwg at 3:18 PM on December 2, 2009

Wolfdog: "I made it a long way, possibly a record-setting length, in life thinking this band's name involved a popular black and white sandwich-type cookie. I think I'm going to go have some of those, actually. Thanks for the post."

REO Chipwich?
posted by boo_radley at 3:50 PM on December 2, 2009

Where did I get "ice cream sandwich-type cookie" from?
posted by boo_radley at 3:53 PM on December 2, 2009

This has nothing on the Journey Video Game.

Heh. I was playing it last night (courtesy of this post). Got the first three band members to the scarab as well (and, annoyingly, got a couple of pixels from it with the fourth). Watch, though, the SmartAss version tends to seize up for some reason after the first band member and not want to let you play through the others, even if you made it in time.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:54 PM on December 2, 2009

Did anyone catch Nancy Kerrigan ice skating to a live REO Speedwagon performance last weekend? Just me?

REO Newton
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 4:08 PM on December 2, 2009

If someone makes a Foreigner game for $8 I'd be all over it. REOS? Not so much.
posted by clvrmnky at 4:32 PM on December 2, 2009

Did anyone catch Nancy Kerrigan ice skating to a live REO Speedwagon performance last weekend? Just me?

Wait, that was real? I'll have to cross that one out of my dream journal.
posted by gamera at 4:52 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

And they said you couldn't tune a fish.
posted by mosk at 5:54 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

Did anyone catch Nancy Kerrigan ice skating to a live REO Speedwagon performance last weekend? Just me?

Not just you. I've spent all of my time since then trying to convince myself it wasn't real. I think it was walking in on a live figure skating routine set to REO's rock rendition of "Little Drummer Boy" that finally ruined the last shred of faith in humanity within me.
posted by rollbiz at 6:20 PM on December 2, 2009

I can't say I've heard an REO Speedwagon song and known it- I they were one of those bands that everyone forgot about and only get brought up in Robot Chicken skits.
posted by dunkadunc at 6:24 PM on December 2, 2009

I don't hate REO, they're a perfectly capable opening band for Kansas, Boston or Journey, but "Can't Fight This Feeling" had the corniest lyrics this side of chart contemporaries Starship.

I was 14 or so when this thing hit the charts and could.not.stand.it. Local stations played the hell out of it. That whole "It's time to bring this ship into the shore and throw away the oars forever" is painful.

By comparison, Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is" was a towering masterpiece of the 20th Century.
posted by porn in the woods at 7:08 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

Pretty worthless band, with about one-third of an interesting idea if you were to add it up. I'd never buy one of their records or willingly listen to one, but I find them genuinely 'lovable' in some way, for the following reasons:

1) A met a girl who would brag, ever and endlessly, about how she'd once met Kevin Cronin's dad! I didn't know who Kevin Cronin was - this was shortly after I came to America - so I went and looked it up and figured out who REO Speedwagon are/were. Were they so popular that meeting the singer's dad was something to brag about? I wasn't sure for a while, but later I realized . . . they weren't. Cronin's dad was an optician, by the way.

2) Few bands as commercially successful in their day have fallen as far from people's memories and in catalog sales. Their career-defining greatest hits albums has a list price of only $7.98!

3) May people in Europe call them "Ree-oh Speetvahgon."

4) This quote: "Just when we thought we had done it all, along comes an awesome video game, where millions of people around the world can interact with us, and our music."

Does he really think "millions" of people will play this game? Does he really believe it's "awesome?" Does he really think his band, one of the world's most boring, has "done it all?" I truly believe he does, which is kind of awesome in a spectacularly naive and stupid way.
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 7:25 PM on December 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

To be fair, there was indeed a (brief) period when REO Speedwagon was one of the biggest bands on the planet. Hi-Infidelity sold over 9 million copies, more than any other rock LP in 1981.

*crosses "Stick up for REO Speedwagon" off his "Things I Never Thought I'd Do" list*
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:04 PM on December 2, 2009

To be fair, there was indeed a (brief) period when REO Speedwagon was one of the biggest bands on the planet. Hi-Infidelity sold over 9 million copies, more than any other rock LP in 1981.

I'm not denying it! But that makes their poor catalog sales, and basic disappearance so noteworthy. But there are bands who released albums in 1981 that sold maybe 1% (if that) as many copies, but are more widely discussed and written about today, and have probably seen an annual *increase* in sales. It's just interesting to me how weirdly wrong the public is over the long term.
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 8:32 PM on December 2, 2009

Listen unless a videogame let's me kill brown people or guys with funny accents I'm just not interested.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 9:05 PM on December 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

Say what you will about REO Speedwagon, but they put on a good show. Both times I've seen them Cronin has had enough raw enthusiasm to make me a fan of the band by the end of the show. He's like a motivational speaker who can play guitar.

And I have to respect any band who can play the Utah State Fair and seem completely happy and grateful to be there. They even let the Governor of Utah play piano on a couple of songs.
posted by mmoncur at 12:08 AM on December 3, 2009

He's like a motivational speaker who can play guitar.

That is the stuff of nightmares.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:11 AM on December 3, 2009 [2 favorites]

Well, they've got enough of a fanbase (or at least street teamer presence) to descend en masse upon comment threads for critical reviews of their latest Christmas product.
posted by anthom at 5:50 AM on December 3, 2009

Hi-Infidelity sold over 9 million copies.

Well, that explains why it's almost as common in thrift stores as Mitch Miller, Herb Alpert and Barbra Streisand records (this is not an aesthetic judgment).
posted by box at 6:01 AM on December 3, 2009

There was a time when, at least in the Mid-west, REO was cool. Before High Infidelity they were a meat n' potatoes hard rock band that toured constantly. If you raised a barn in say 1976, chances are REO would play there for the grand opening. And they delivered a solid show back in those days. They had Gary Richrath on lead guitar who had this beefy tone that just crunched through the PA and Cronin was a decent if stereotypical front man. I was at a cousin's wedding in the farthest corner of ND, riding in a packed van with half the wedding party. Someone slapped in REO's Nine Lives tape (that's right, tape) and the whole van knew every single word. Guys I knew in college would crank "Only the Strong Survive" at the end of finals week. But that all ended when they turned to bathetic ballads and cashed in what cred they had.
posted by Ber at 6:48 AM on December 3, 2009

It's available as a download from Big Fish Games for a one-time charge of $6.99. It's a 'hidden object game'. HOGs are very popular with older women--women who may have listened to REO Speedwagon in high school. I am of this age group, and am hooked on HOGs, but my reaction to seeing this game was a lot of giggling. I could get behind a Twisted Sister game, though.
posted by LynstHolin at 7:21 AM on December 3, 2009

d00dz, more like REO Stationwagon amirite?!?
posted by porn in the woods at 8:24 AM on December 3, 2009

REO is one of those bands that went from pretty good to plain horrible. See Foreigner. Or Chicago.

Your blacks are dyin' but your back is still turned
And your freaks are cryin' but your back is still turned
You better stop your hidin' or your country will burn
posted by mrgrimm at 9:24 AM on December 3, 2009

And I'll admit I won't change the dial if Ridin' the Storm Out or Roll With the Changes comes on.

But I wouldn't pay a red cent for an REO video game.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:28 AM on December 3, 2009

My team of really, really clever Cambridge scientists has worked through the night using the Bletchley Park codebreaker, and we have concluded that REO Speedwagon was in fact the codeword for a German secret weapon designed to disorientate allied troops by playing appalling aural syrup through loudspeakers attached to advancing vehicles. It was anticipated that the violent vomiting it induced would render the allies incapable of fighting. Further research reveals that some time after the end of the war the technology was adopted by an American popular music combo who found that they could use it to part the tone-deaf from their money with ease, tone-deaf people being immune to the vomiting the noise induced in the more musically sensitive. We will be updating Wikipedia with the results of this research shortly.
posted by MajorDundee at 12:20 PM on December 3, 2009