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That is Not B-Roll
December 9, 2009 1:02 PM   Subscribe


 
I need b-roll for a story about obesity. NO FACES.
posted by Zambrano at 1:07 PM on December 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


I need b-roll for a story about obesity. NO FACES.

WE GOT THAT B-ROLL!
posted by cazoo at 1:09 PM on December 9, 2009


"Why's he look so upset? Maybe he's late for work? Nope. He's at work! He's a B-roll actor!"

I LOLed.

The B-rolls weren't that great, but nice performance.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:10 PM on December 9, 2009


I want to see "Turtleneck Fights."
posted by uncleozzy at 1:12 PM on December 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


THAT'S TOO SPECIFIC!
posted by leetheflea at 1:14 PM on December 9, 2009


For those who are wondering, 1-800-BBB-ROLL turns out to be the number for the Polk county Wisconsin information center.

BBB-ROLL=222-POLK
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 1:18 PM on December 9, 2009 [5 favorites]


That guy's accent has just the right touch of sleaze for this.

I love it.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:20 PM on December 9, 2009


nice
posted by chillmost at 1:24 PM on December 9, 2009


Bonus points for the Achewood shirt.
posted by griphus at 1:26 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Do you have footage of someone frustrated while paying bills?
posted by drezdn at 1:28 PM on December 9, 2009


Awesome.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:30 PM on December 9, 2009


I highly approve.
posted by grubi at 1:44 PM on December 9, 2009


More than a little reminiscent of this SNL skit, but a lot zippier.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:47 PM on December 9, 2009


that is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. thank you so much.
posted by shmegegge at 1:47 PM on December 9, 2009


(I liked the part with the wall.)
posted by Sys Rq at 1:49 PM on December 9, 2009 [8 favorites]


seriously, I wish I could explain how amazing that is. oh my. oh my my my.
posted by shmegegge at 1:49 PM on December 9, 2009


I didn't laugh out loud until "depressed woman touching a wall"... hilarious.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:49 PM on December 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


DON'T JUDGE THE BROLL!
posted by shmegegge at 1:49 PM on December 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Have they got B Roll of the guy who should have previewed shaking his fist at Sys Rq, or is that too specific?
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:50 PM on December 9, 2009


Too specific, BC.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:53 PM on December 9, 2009


As a professional editor I LOLed excessively.
posted by sycophant at 1:53 PM on December 9, 2009


A friend posted this on Facebook earlier today, I love it. The examples are all spot on, I used to edit a milquetoast video blog and would often go searching for exactly these types of images. After about a year of doing that, I had worn out my Google Image Search-fu. If only these guys were around back then!

Side note, if you are ever in a position where you have to search for generic images, be warned, blogs will be spoiled for you as you see the same generic images come up again and again and again.
posted by yellowbinder at 1:57 PM on December 9, 2009


I didn't see...

Grandma on floor - cat jumps on lap, sneeze - family pounding cutlery on empty dinner table - overfull clothes closet - bored party guests - squirming in business meeting - exhausting silver-polishing - child failing in school... Oh, it's endless.
posted by longsleeves at 2:17 PM on December 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


I have a love/hate relationship with Sergio because I can never tell if he actually enjoys what he does. I need a job where I can get paid to be an ass. Cue [old woman]/[single mother]/[recently unemployed guy]-having-a-revelation-about-making-money-in-their-kitchen B-Roll.
posted by june made him a gemini at 2:23 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Cue B-roll of man commenting approvingly on an internet community site.
posted by me3dia at 3:36 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I was just watching some B Roll and I loved it!
posted by Spatch at 3:39 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sergio is the man!
posted by djduckie at 4:02 PM on December 9, 2009


<dmd> beeroll
<GIR> A-well-a everybody freeze, here come the bees. B-b-b-bees, bees, bees, the bees are not pleased, A-well-a bees, bees, bees, they can't be appeased, A-well-a bees, bees, bees, they won't hear your pleas, A-well-a bees, bees, bees, attacking in threes, A-well-a bees, bees, bees, they're bringing disease, A-well-a bees, bees, bees...
posted by dmd at 4:16 PM on December 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Need B-roll of someone laughing hysterically at an online video?

I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. Sergio!
posted by bpm140 at 4:18 PM on December 9, 2009


I just came in to post this... but MeFi got that B-Roll!!!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:20 PM on December 9, 2009


Also needs attractive women with hand to face, grimacing for sensitive teeth toothpast and attractive man with hand to back, grimacing for back pain reliever. And both of them walking out of chemist / drug store smiling.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:24 PM on December 9, 2009


I'm changing my name to The Sneezah. Please update your correspondence files accordingly.
B-roll of someone updating their correspondence files accordingly not included. This offer may be void in Texas and Nebraska. Limited time offer. ORDER NOW!
posted by WolfDaddy at 4:47 PM on December 9, 2009


This video has just the right quality of production, is well-cast, is well-written and well-directed. Out of the nightmare of crap videos on YouTube, someone posted it to MetaFilter, perhaps because they saw it on boingboing yesterday like I did. I watched it then, and I watch it now, and I am entertained. Life is good.
posted by davejay at 4:53 PM on December 9, 2009


"Hi, welcome to BRoll, how may I help you?"

"Yeah, umm...you got any ladies in black and white struggling to use an antiquated small kitchen appliance?"

"You're in luck, sir, we have a deal going on with those. Buy one at regular price, we'll throw in, "same woman struggling to open something" FREE.

"Wow. That's great! Do my production guys have to add the red 'X' at the end of the clip, or is it included?"

"What do you think, sir? We're the best of the best."
posted by mreleganza at 5:42 PM on December 9, 2009 [3 favorites]


agreed, depressed woman touching wall is the best part
posted by nathancaswell at 6:11 PM on December 9, 2009


I need b-roll for a story about obesity. NO FACES.

Heh. Brings to mind local news clips about obesity or - gasp! - STDs!

I call those "shoe reports" because that's just about all they show.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:46 PM on December 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


I need black and white footage of someone fumbling with a standard can opener like they lack opposable thumbs, primary motor control, functional knowledge of how a can opener works and some experience on a planet with a similar force of gravity as earth.
posted by Adam_S at 7:02 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I liked the part where the ocean did a B Roll
posted by mannequito at 7:08 PM on December 9, 2009


Cue B-roll of man commenting approvingly on an internet community site.

THAT'S TOO SPECIFIC.

But here's a middle aged couple laughing and pointing at the 1970's era monochrome CRT on their desk.
posted by CaseyB at 7:22 PM on December 9, 2009


Curses! Now whenever I watch a commercial I'll never know if the B Roll came from these guys. But strangely enough, I won't care.
posted by aftermarketradio at 7:36 PM on December 9, 2009


I need b-roll for a story about obesity. NO FACES.

Heh. Brings to mind local news clips about obesity or - gasp! - STDs!

I call those "shoe reports" because that's just about all they show.


It should have. That was the reference. I was a local news producer (market 1).
posted by Zambrano at 7:55 PM on December 9, 2009


I need b-roll for a story about obesity. NO FACES.

At Shapely Prose, they call those "headless fatties."
posted by not that girl at 8:02 PM on December 9, 2009


Oh how I love Sergio Cilli. That man is a hipster super star.
posted by Gucky at 9:25 PM on December 9, 2009


"Why is she touching the wall? I don't know - that's what depressed people do!"
posted by Sweetie Darling at 4:28 AM on December 10, 2009


I need a 3/4 or side head & torso shot of computer-user, face bathed in CRT monitor glow, moving mouse, then gasping in delighted amazement, relax into smile.

I know exactly where to order it from now!
posted by Artful Codger at 4:55 AM on December 10, 2009


I didn't read this entire thread before clicking over and subsequently reposting it myself -- what comment did I use? ""Why is she touching the wall? I don't know - that's what depressed people do!", of course! Perfect!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 8:08 AM on December 10, 2009


For some reason this reminds me of Headset Hotties.
posted by intermod at 8:08 AM on December 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


The funniest thing for me was the "He's at work, he's a B-Roll actor!"
posted by delmoi at 2:55 PM on December 10, 2009


What I want is some B-Roll of B-boys dancing to B-Sides selected by /b/tards.
posted by delmoi at 6:47 PM on December 10, 2009


Thanks for the heads-up on B-Roll suppliers. However, I am looking for C-Roll and D-Roll. Can someone here point me in the right direction?
posted by not_on_display at 7:48 PM on December 10, 2009


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