Careless Women Never Appeal To Gentlemen

December 10, 2009 7:02 AM

Tips For Single Ladies: Helpful hints on dating and romance from 1938, with photos. (via)
posted by The Whelk (45 comments total)

Some good advice here.
posted by fire&wings at 7:08 AM on December 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

Especially good about the bra. The last thing men want to see is nipples!
posted by DU at 7:09 AM on December 10, 2009 [2 favorites]

Link is not working for me. This is why I am still a single lady. Surely.
posted by Sova at 7:17 AM on December 10, 2009 [2 favorites]

Hmm...page isn't loading and I very much want to read this!
posted by zizzle at 7:17 AM on December 10, 2009

Cached version here
posted by echo target at 7:23 AM on December 10, 2009

sadanduseless.com: The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.

Eponysterical.
posted by blucevalo at 7:23 AM on December 10, 2009 [5 favorites]

This is like modern Cosmo, but with a better sense of humor.
posted by oinopaponton at 7:27 AM on December 10, 2009

Cached version here

A series of broken image links. Very interesting.
posted by delmoi at 7:29 AM on December 10, 2009

You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
posted by medium format at 7:30 AM on December 10, 2009 [3 favorites]

Eh, Google's cached pages don't have images.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:30 AM on December 10, 2009

cache
posted by jckll at 7:44 AM on December 10, 2009

I found a link that has the tips.
posted by eye of newt at 7:45 AM on December 10, 2009

Tip for single ladies: don't use the internet. It doesn't work.
posted by ob at 7:45 AM on December 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

New tip for single ladies: do use the internet. It does work.
posted by ob at 7:46 AM on December 10, 2009

Huh, the cached version works fine for me.
posted by echo target at 7:48 AM on December 10, 2009

Tip for single ladies:

Men take note of a woman who is able to nap whilst a short man in a suit goes apeshit.
posted by ob at 7:50 AM on December 10, 2009 [5 favorites]

I'll summarize it for you: cute girl spends time with doughy man but bores him with stories that aren't about him. Realizing that he's a jerk, she flirts with the waitstaff and gets hammered. Doughy man calls fifty times over the next two days and is finally gunned down in a confrontation with police in front of the woman's workplace.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 7:50 AM on December 10, 2009 [12 favorites]

The FPP link works fine for me. And I'm glad, because I learned this gem:

Don't be familiar with your escort by carressing him in public. Any open show of affection is in bad taste, usually embarrasses or humiliates him.

"Humiliates"? Really? I realize this is 1938, but given the way wolves were acting then in Tex Avery cartoons, I didn't realize woman-on-man PDAs were considered humiliating.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:53 AM on December 10, 2009

I realize this is from 1938, but do people really need to be told not to pass out drunk on a first date?
posted by fermezporte at 8:01 AM on December 10, 2009 [2 favorites]

Wow, men are sensitive.
posted by ServSci at 8:13 AM on December 10, 2009 [5 favorites]

Oh man that last photo is gold. I will forever be looking for a place to use it.
posted by lholladay at 8:29 AM on December 10, 2009

Aw man, now I've got that damn Beyoncé song stuck in my head!
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:34 AM on December 10, 2009

That last photo is indeed fantastic. I also thought the following quote was hilarious: Don't talk while dancing, for when a man dances he wants to dance.
posted by bjrn at 8:36 AM on December 10, 2009 [2 favorites]

I like the one where she's picking his ear in public. Apparently that's considered gauche in some circles.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:37 AM on December 10, 2009

Only cause I mention it whenever possible but Fun With Shorts: Habit Patterns, is a must see for the MST3K fan. I've never seen the tone of the show recreated so well.
posted by The Whelk at 8:38 AM on December 10, 2009

Oh man, "Don't sit in awkward positions" is awesome. Is it me, or is the single lady suddenly like 30% bigger in relation to the man than she was in the last few pictures?

I love the man's increasingly stoic expression as the series goes on.
posted by peachfuzz at 9:03 AM on December 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

Finally, proof that sticking a finger in your boyfriend's ear is affectionate!

Clearly, I do not sneak up behind him and stick my finger in his ear because it makes him jump about three feet in the air.

I do it for love.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 9:27 AM on December 10, 2009 [3 favorites]

Man not like woman who pass out drunk while picking ear! Man like dance! Man like woman who be quiet about new dress! No pull girdle! Wear brassier!

I like how pathetic this makes men look.
posted by serazin at 9:33 AM on December 10, 2009

It better include "owning a chicken farm" cause that shit was still the depression.
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 9:53 AM on December 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

Having now read this, I'm sure it's satire. Still very funny though.
posted by Sova at 9:55 AM on December 10, 2009

Pretty sure this is still passed out at Baptist Universities.
posted by four panels at 10:15 AM on December 10, 2009

And here I thought the only tip they needed was that should a man like it, they ought to implore that he put a ring on it.
posted by cgomez at 10:18 AM on December 10, 2009 [3 favorites]

I realize this is from 1938, but do people really need to be told not to pass out drunk on a first date?

I have an etiquette book from the 1930s that I purchased from an antique mall a few years ago. I recall that it also strongly advised women from imbibing too much on a date. "She can really hold her liquor!" is not a compliment, it warned. On that note, the other taboo I recall from the book was prize fights - women under 18 should never go to a prize fight, it said, and women over 18 should never go to a prize fight unescorted. What was so depraved about boxing? Was it the violence, or the fact that the competitors were shirtless.....?
posted by Oriole Adams at 10:46 AM on December 10, 2009

Don't talk about clothes or try to describe your new gown to a man. Please and flatter your date by talking about the things he wants to talk about.

Curses, that's all I want to talk about whenever I go on dates.
posted by aftermarketradio at 12:23 PM on December 10, 2009

I broke up with my girlfriend in high school because she wouldn't stop clinging all over me in public. She always had to be hugging me or hanging on me. Drove me insane!

Of course, three weeks prior I'd had my first man-on-man experience. Huh.
posted by matty at 12:46 PM on December 10, 2009 [2 favorites]

Granted, grabbing the rear view mirror to check your makeup while the car is in motion is, in fact, not a good idea...
posted by Karmakaze at 12:50 PM on December 10, 2009

The photos are priceless. Not sure how the male model conveyed eye rolling in a still, but he did.
posted by bearwife at 1:22 PM on December 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

Don't talk while dancing, for when a man dances he wants to dance. This is just soooo awesome. Works equally well Mad Lib-style: "Don't talk while [gerund], for when a man [verb ending in 's'], he wants to [verb]."
posted by mosk at 2:38 PM on December 10, 2009 [2 favorites]

Dang...if only I'd had that advice when I was still dating...
posted by Jimmy Havok at 2:46 PM on December 10, 2009

Drinking may make some girls seem clever, but most get silly.

I guess the real trick is know which kind of girl you are. Here's a handy trick. Take a fifth of vodka and a voice recorder into your bedroom and close the door. The next day check the recording. Do you sound slobbery and incoherent, or are you witty and charming? Did you suddenly understand the mysteries of the cosmos? Did you get "lucky"? Does your bed smell like piss, vomit, or rose petals? If you are still unsure what kind of girl you are, repeat the experiment with a good friend and be sure to ask them what kind of girl do they think you are.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:50 PM on December 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

These aren't real surely? The last photo seems waaay too much for the time.
posted by ciderwoman at 4:58 PM on December 10, 2009

Ciderwoman, the font choices and tone check out to me, and I've seen so. much. worse. from that era that this wasn't outrageous at all.
posted by The Whelk at 5:01 PM on December 10, 2009

Wow I didn't know Jimmy Carr was around in the 30s, hasn't aged a bit has he.
posted by zeoslap at 6:50 PM on December 10, 2009

mosk: Works equally well Mad Lib-style...

So it does.

Don't talk while humping, for when a man humps, he wants to hump.

Don't talk while rocking, for when a man rocks, he wants to rock.

Don't talk while glaring, for when a man glares, he wants to glare.
posted by bicyclefish at 8:26 PM on December 10, 2009

Don't talk while dancing unless it's something like "Hey, you wanna get outta here?"
Most guys would be cool with that.
posted by Albryhno at 9:27 AM on December 11, 2009