Not Charile Brown's Christmas

December 12, 2009 11:56 AM

The 10 least successful holiday specials of all time.
posted by fixedgear (20 comments total)

That Star Trek synopsis is frighteningly plausible.
posted by Wolfdog at 11:58 AM on December 12, 2009

I'm always going to imagine Chomsky wearing a santa hat from now on.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:59 AM on December 12, 2009

Do I detect the hand of Mefi's own jscalzi?
posted by subbes at 12:04 PM on December 12, 2009

FTA: "56 minutes of the hour-long broadcast went to a philosophical manifesto by the elf and of the four remaining minutes, three went to a love scene between Santa and the cold, practical Mrs. Claus that was rendered into radio through the use of grunts and the shattering of several dozen whiskey tumblers"

Best... Description... EVER.

No surprise why it flopped, though...
posted by pla at 12:04 PM on December 12, 2009 [3 favorites]

My experience of reading this article:

Oh man, I need to track down a recording of An Algonquin Round Table Christmas.

*reads more*

Damn it. I was really hoping that was real.
posted by mmmbacon at 12:07 PM on December 12, 2009 [3 favorites]

Yeah, the Ayn Rand Christmas Special was real. What few know is the script wasn't canned but put on ice, only to be discovered decades later, completely re-worked, and animated. The result was The Incredibles.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:08 PM on December 12, 2009 [4 favorites]

I was gonna make an FPP outta this but I think we need it here
posted by The Whelk at 12:12 PM on December 12, 2009

Also FTA: "the scenes where the NSA head explains the true meaning of Christmas to an assemblage of Muppets dressed as Afghan mujahideen was incongruous and disturbing even then"

Wow. GREAT post, fixedgear. I don't think I've laughed so hard at a website since I discovered the BOFH archives. :)
posted by pla at 12:14 PM on December 12, 2009

The Lost Star Trek Christmas Episode: “A Most Illogical Holiday”

This one isn't even parody. If it was a real episode you wouldn't bat an eye. Of course Santa is an evil computer!
posted by The Whelk at 12:15 PM on December 12, 2009

after preview - damn you Wolfdog
posted by The Whelk at 12:15 PM on December 12, 2009

Not that I don't appreciate the attention, but I feel honor bound to note it's a double.
posted by jscalzi at 12:16 PM on December 12, 2009

Every year the Objectivist freaks take umbrage at Scalzi's treatment of Rand.

Once, on USENET, a Randian tried to tell me that it wasn't humour because it wasn't funny. He even had a /scale/ by which he used to measure this thing the rest of us humans call humour.

And Scalzi's post did not hit any of the requirements for this index to be met. Therefore, not funny and should be treated seriously as a critique of their beliefs.

I am not making this up.
posted by clvrmnky at 12:17 PM on December 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

It's missing the one element to make the Christmas world in Trek work. Clearly, some dumb cadet must have dropped a candy cane or book about Christmas.

That then leads them to devote their economy to a constant state of gift giving and assembling toys.
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:18 PM on December 12, 2009

Oh, well, it was fun while it lasted and the link wasn't found by the magic double link checker.
posted by fixedgear at 12:26 PM on December 12, 2009

It's fake? :( now i need to find something else to do this afternoon...
posted by rebent at 12:27 PM on December 12, 2009

Fixedgear:

the link wasn't found by the magic double link checker.

Probably because I redid my Web site and the URL for the entry was changed. It's also been five years since it was first linked, so maybe that has something to do with it, too.

Again, not that I'm not glad you liked it! Thanks for linking to it.
posted by jscalzi at 12:30 PM on December 12, 2009

Yeah, the Ayn Rand Christmas Special was real. What few know is the script wasn't canned but put on ice, only to be discovered decades later, completely re-worked, and animated. The result was The Incredibles.

I know The Incredibles gets knocked a lot for being crypto-Randian, but I think it's worth noting that the first act of the movie can be read as very anti-capitalist, with Mr. Incredible getting fired from his day job at an evil insurance company for helping a little old lady work the system.
posted by EarBucket at 12:30 PM on December 12, 2009

What? no Star Wars Christmas special?
posted by Balisong at 12:42 PM on December 12, 2009

I know The Incredibles gets knocked a lot for being crypto-Randian, but I think it's worth noting that the first act of the movie can be read as very anti-capitalist, with Mr. Incredible getting fired from his day job at an evil insurance company for helping a little old lady work the system.

Or that Syndrome is evil, in part, for wanting to capitalize inventions that give people superpowers, or that Elastigirl tells her daughter to "listen to her heart" when it comes to when to use superpowers. On the other hand, Syndrome's aim is to make "everyone special. And when everyone's special, no one will be." And Mr. Incredible puts his job in jeopardy by allowing clients to "penetrate the bureacracy".

Having said that, I don't think The Incredibles was an outright Randian screed. It was more survival-of-the-fittest oriented, mocking the supposed liberal mindset that we should walk on eggshells around our kids, doing everything we can to make sure that no child is given too much attention for being awesome at something, lest other children feel bad about themselves.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:44 PM on December 12, 2009

I have a really hard time seeing The Incredibles as crypto-Randian since the whole thrust of the movie is towards allowing/encouraging the Special Talented People to use their talents for the common good, unasked, unpaid. The Incredibles is more like an adaptation of Harrison Bergeron than like anything I remember from Rand.
posted by hattifattener at 12:49 PM on December 12, 2009