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"Everything I cook tastes better than yo' momma's nipples."
December 23, 2009 12:36 AM   Subscribe

Self-described ghetto witchdoctor superstar chef Coolio has made a series of cooking videos, starting with the Coolio Caprese Salad. So far he's up to 10 colorful videos ranging from Swashbucklin' Shrimp to Spinach Even Kids Will Eat. If you want to learn how to make Ghetallian Garlic Bread that tastes better than yo mama, this is the place to look. Despite the comments about kitchen pimps and dime bags of salt, he is serious about his love of cooking, and now has a cookbook out that is currently at #2 in Amazon's soul food category. His Strawberry Hills Banana Muffins Forever, from the chapter entitled Sweet Treats for that Sweet Ass, has won over at least one blogger and his Fresh Pickin' Raspberry Chicken and I'm Gonna Slap You With My Whisk Tomato Bisquehave also garnered good reviews. Shaka Zulu!
posted by hindmost (25 comments total) 36 users marked this as a favorite

 
Wow. Is this THE Coolio?

He may have found his niche.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:32 AM on December 23, 2009


I'm hungry now. Man, some of that looks good.
posted by maxwelton at 1:41 AM on December 23, 2009


Raspberry Chicken? Sounds about as good as the last Coolio album! Hey-o! (Folks, the favorites button is just below, don't all click at once and please tip your waitress)
posted by GilloD at 3:05 AM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Watching the spinach video I was embarrassed for everyone. Not just in the video. In the universe.
posted by I Foody at 3:20 AM on December 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


I'm sorry but nothing tastes better than my mama.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 4:34 AM on December 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


A can o' corn
A can o' corn
All I had for dinner was a can o' corn
A can o' corn
A can o' corn
Before I went to school I had a can o' corn
A can o' corn
A can o' corn
I tried to get full off a can o' corn
A can o' corn
A can o' corn
That's all the fuck that we had in the kitchen.
posted by Flunkie at 4:47 AM on December 23, 2009


This sounds like an Achewood story arc. I mean, back when it was good.
posted by fleetmouse at 4:58 AM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


[in b4 achewood was never good]
posted by fleetmouse at 4:58 AM on December 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Way back in 2002 I went on a university snowboarding club trip to Utah. I forget the resort's name. However, Coolio was there, in the flesh, playing a set in the banquet hall.

It was a pretty bad set, especially since his DJ played some really dumb alternate beats to "Fantastic Voyage." No groove in them. Coolio wasn't great either.

That was sad, so whenever I hear about his cooking, I feel better that he has a back-up career that works for him.
posted by wires at 5:18 AM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Great, now I can finally cross another one off my list!

Fishing with Tom Waits
Cooking with Coolio

Wine tasting with Maynard James Keenan
Model railways with Rod Stewart
Golf with Alice Cooper
Archaeological excavation with Bill Wyman
Watercolour with Marilyn Manson


*crosses fingers*
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:23 AM on December 23, 2009 [18 favorites]


Raspberry Chicken? Sounds about as good as the last Coolio album!

Did you see that recipe? It looks awesome.

TV show in 3...2...1...
posted by mediareport at 5:56 AM on December 23, 2009


This is a good thing. There really are a lot of people out there who are intimidated at the idea of sauteing some spinach and baking some chicken. The general message of these videos seems to be, "this shit is easy, yo".

In any case, it's a damn sight better than Rachel Ray.
posted by the bricabrac man at 6:15 AM on December 23, 2009 [6 favorites]


So he's spending most his life, living in an gourmet paradise?
posted by WinnipegDragon at 6:17 AM on December 23, 2009 [12 favorites]


This is much better than Snoop Dogg's cookbook. Grizzle Chickizzle with Aspargizzle gets tiresome after a while.
posted by dr_dank at 6:31 AM on December 23, 2009 [8 favorites]


goodnewsfortheinsane, Wine tasting with Maynard James Keenan seems completely doable. Since he has a vineyard, I'd imagine he'd be at the occasional area tasting.

I don't know which is worse those, model railways, or Rod Stewart.
posted by mikeh at 6:34 AM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Gonna Slap You With My Whisk Tomato Bisque is my new telephone greeting/street salutation/charitable organization.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 7:20 AM on December 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


His caprese salad was one ugly-ass salad, though. Presentation? That looked like sliced tomatoes floating in a bog. Shaka Zulu!
posted by arcticwoman at 7:39 AM on December 23, 2009


This is why I would never want to be famous, ever.
posted by paisley henosis at 7:52 AM on December 23, 2009


Ghetto Chef Beef Bowl. 3 1/2 stars.
posted by Babblesort at 9:12 AM on December 23, 2009


I've done Golf with Alice Cooper goodnewsfortheinsane - and it's nothing to write home to yo mama about.
posted by czechmate at 10:24 AM on December 23, 2009


Back when I was in games media, I got to interview Coolio, because he used to play a lot of Tribes 2 and did some games-related promotion. He said he was in a clan and everything, he said. Except no one believed he was really THE Coolio.

"Everybody used to make fun of me, man," he said. "I'd get into the game, and they'd be like, 'Oh, here comes that guy that thinks he's Coolio.'"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:33 AM on December 23, 2009 [14 favorites]


smdh
posted by citron at 11:05 AM on December 23, 2009


Considering Neil Young once was a minority owner of Lionel, one would think he would be anyone's first choice for model railroading.
posted by y2karl at 3:59 PM on December 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I don't know why, Cool Papa Bell, but that story has quite possibly made my night.
posted by gc at 8:19 PM on December 23, 2009


"Everybody used to make fun of me, man," he said. "I'd get into the game, and they'd be like, 'Oh, here comes that guy that thinks he's Coolio.'"

Maybe it would have helped if he'd used whatever his real name is instead of 'Coolio'.
posted by clarknova at 5:44 AM on December 24, 2009


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