A truth universally acknowledged, pretty much

December 23, 2009 11:34 AM

"Many a glass of wine have we all of us drunk, I have very little doubt, hob-and-nobbing with the hospitable giver, and wondering how the deuce he paid for it . . . Nobody in fact was paid. Not the blacksmith who opened the lock; nor the glazier who mended the pane; nor the jobber who let the carriage; nor the groom who drove it; nor the butcher who provided the leg of mutton; nor the coals which roasted it; nor the cook who basted it; nor the servants who ate it; and this I am given to understand is not unfrequently the way in which people live elegantly on nothing a-year."

-- Vanity Fair, Thackeray.

Not paying people for a swank lifestyle has a distinguished history. [PDF]

An identical achievement by a couple with "good manners and gall" in the 1970s.

(Via Gawker.)

posted by Countess Elena (27 comments total)

I bet you're not really a Countess, either.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:44 AM on December 23, 2009 [6 favorites]

I used to be the office manager for this guy who never paid any bill until he absolutely had to -- he said he wanted his money to stay in the bank and earn interest as long as possible. Vendors would call in July and beg to paid through last January. Then the city stopped picking up his trash because he wouldn't pay the bill. I can still hear him on the phone screaming, "I have a million-dollar house! You know I'm good for it!" Whatta jerk.
posted by JanetLand at 11:51 AM on December 23, 2009

As someone who has lived most of her life on the Micawber economy, I can only utter a Nelson Muntz-like "HA HA" at everyone in this story.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:05 PM on December 23, 2009

According to the article in the second link, the Salahis owe over $110,000 in unpaid legal fees, and new cases are being filed against them all the time. I can see how this could create an insane negative feedback loop in which they put off paying for still more things, incurring further lawsuits, etc. etc. down the rabbit hole.

How would someone like to help organize a city-wide intervention? Maybe act like you're throwing them a huge party and giving them the key to the city, and when they show up, the door is locked behind them and everyone starts calling them out on their shit.
posted by hermitosis at 12:22 PM on December 23, 2009 [2 favorites]

From page 3 of the second Washington Post link:

"Banks, telephone companies, auto mechanics, musicians and others also say they weren't paid, according to claims made in court. The Washington Post wasn't paid $24,000 for advertising."
posted by vibrotronica at 12:35 PM on December 23, 2009

I see your Thackeray and raise you Mark Twain, who did it first in 1893.
posted by toodleydoodley at 12:45 PM on December 23, 2009

What a fabulously put together post.

Even though they are only faking their wealth, the odious Salahi duo put me in mind of that quote from The Great Gatsby: "They were careless people, Tom and Daisy--they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money of their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made."
posted by Jody Tresidder at 12:50 PM on December 23, 2009

I see your Thackeray and raise you Mark Twain, who did it first in 1893.

For values of "did it first" that involve a universe where 1893 comes before 1848, sure.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:57 PM on December 23, 2009 [7 favorites]

That teapot whistle you hear? It's my blood boiling. That vibration, like a dumpster full of rusty nails slamming into a garbage truck? THOSE ARE MY GASKETS BLOWING!

My wife and I own a small business. We have endured dozens of scumbags who don't pay or want something for nothing. At first you think these people are the rare exception. I mean, how can they get through life like this? No town is big enough you think. Not to mention the gall.
But then you end up screed by another one. And you hear the same story from peers. Over an over.

It's gotten so when presented an RFP I can sniff the sub-atomic particles of scumbag from a mile a way.

Now years later and much wiser I feel no remorse interrupting the shameless pitch of these scumbags with "I said CASH UP FRONT, MOTHERFUCKER!"
posted by tkchrist at 1:04 PM on December 23, 2009 [4 favorites]

For values of "did it first" that involve a universe where 1893 comes before 1848, sure.

hahaha! Did I say "first?" I meant, "First, in the sense of coming other than first."

How could you have thought otherwise?
posted by toodleydoodley at 1:11 PM on December 23, 2009 [6 favorites]

What poseurs.
posted by ericb at 1:33 PM on December 23, 2009

This is a great post. I've been vaguely toying with how to make those two articles into a decent post since I finished the second one this morning. This framing is fabulous.
posted by OmieWise at 1:47 PM on December 23, 2009

Reading that second article which details the staggering amount of money they owe to so many people and the lawsuits filed against them just shows how truly disgusting the Salahi's are. I'm sure we're going to hear more about this couple in the weeks/monthsd ahead. I expect a Vanity Fair article on them. Anyone in the greater D.C. area should now be on alert when approached by them for offering goods or services.
posted by ericb at 1:52 PM on December 23, 2009

Be sure to read this other WP article: A look at Tareq and Michaele Salahi before they were famous.
posted by ericb at 2:01 PM on December 23, 2009

Well, virtually all of Vanity Fair drips with sarcasm, and this something for nothing attitude, which is certainly not unique to our time, is one reason why.
posted by bearwife at 2:02 PM on December 23, 2009

People like the Salahis are, sadly, why the credit ratings bureaus exist. Not that they do much good for small businesses, however.

The only way to avoid being screwed by people like them is to operate strictly on a money-upfront basis: cash (or a credit card, making it somebody else's problem) on the barrel head, or no deal. But that's very hard to do in many industries where terms like Net 30/60/90 are the norm.

There's no shortage of people like them in the world, either; every small business owner (and many people in large businesses — you'd be amazed at whole companies who run themselves similarly!) has stories of dealings with their ilk. Unfortunately, most of the costs just get passed along to legitimate and honest customers.

I've often thought that maybe the BBB should (rather than pretending to be a consumer advocacy organization, which it most certainly isn't) act as a venue for one business to report deadbeat clients to other businesses, so that people like the Salahis wouldn't be able to slide along for so long. In the past, an abuser of transactional credit would have been stopped by their poor reputation before they could cause too much damage to too many people; today, we've scaled up our society without finding an effective way to scale up that reputation. The Salahis are living in that disconnect, and making everyone else pay.
posted by Kadin2048 at 2:09 PM on December 23, 2009

In the past, an abuser of transactional credit would have been stopped by their poor reputation before they could cause too much damage to too many people; today, we've scaled up our society without finding an effective way to scale up that reputation. The Salahis are living in that disconnect, and making everyone else pay.

I couldn't agree with you more on this point. However, I'm certain that I've heard pro-business types say that "this is just how business is done, and you write off the loss -- anything else will stifle innovation and the free flow of trade" or some similar mantra. Seems to me that modern business is built on a lot of shaky stilts and no quality foundation at all, and it will resist anything which requires actual responsibility.
posted by hippybear at 2:20 PM on December 23, 2009

But that's very hard to do in many industries where terms like Net 30/60/90 are the norm.

When I got married, I had to pay for my wedding caterer in advance. When I buy furniture, I have to pay for it. When I advertise in a newspaper or magazine, I pay in advance. The Salahis got all that shit on the cuff, and then didn't pay for it.

The merchants who got into this bullshit with the Salahis got into it because they treated the Salahis differently than regular customers. I have no pity for that--they were so eager to fawn over the supposed rich people, and they got screwed in return.
posted by Sidhedevil at 2:23 PM on December 23, 2009 [8 favorites]

Wow, did Tareq ever fuck his parents over. What a little shitstain!
posted by five fresh fish at 2:34 PM on December 23, 2009

OH irony of ironies...when I clicked on ericb's link above, I first had to watch a Bank of America commercial about their commitment to small businesses.
posted by spicynuts at 2:54 PM on December 23, 2009

I thought this was going to be about a broken window or something.
posted by GregorWill at 3:10 PM on December 23, 2009

The merchants who got into this bullshit with the Salahis got into it because they treated the Salahis differently than regular customers.

Yeah, I don't have a tremendous amount of sympathy here. "An Alexandria music promoter sued for $25,000 after paying to fly a band from France for a Salahi charity event." I think I'd have a hard time finding a band that would fly to France on their own dime just because I promised to pay them back. It's not like the "Salahi charity event" was the United Way and you knew they'd be good for it. And "net 30/60/90" arrangements are usually made for the benefit of clients with complicated, year-on-year accounting practices, with whom you expect to do business with over long periods of time -- not the clients of hairdressers.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:17 PM on December 23, 2009

I'm reminded of something that I read--maybe in Tuchman's The March of Folly?--that described the British upper class, particularly the nobility, as the sort that would regularly stiff merchants on bills, but wouldn't think of failing to pay a gambling debt owed to one of their peers. Of course, you hardly have to be to the manner born to pull that kind of crap.
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:19 PM on December 23, 2009

Having lived in Santa Barbara, I'm not at all surprised. My mother used to tutor students in the wealthy suburb of Montecito, where many of the clients were major Hollywood stars or only slightly less well known millionare-celebrities.

It would be a common event for her to go to these massively expensive estates to tutor the kids...and then when it was time to pay, the parents couldn't afford a bill in the hundreds. And these wern't even frauds; they were just land and investment rich but money poor, so if you caught them at the wrong time they had less cash than a middle-class person. Very weird.
posted by happyroach at 4:42 PM on December 23, 2009

happy roach: hehheh, the story I told above took place in Montecito. Hilarious.
posted by JanetLand at 4:44 PM on December 23, 2009

My girlfriend's best friend from middle school was almost kidnapped by the Kimeses. Her mother had been their realtor, and innocently brought her daughter over to meet their son, who was about her age (probably Kenny's half-brother,since this would have been about the time Kenny was born). They got along quite well, and Sante started talking about taking her with them on a trip to Europe. Her parents almost approved it, but in the end decided she was a little young for a trip like that.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 1:54 AM on December 24, 2009 [1 favorite]

The Who's the victim here? section in the second article reminds me of a client I've worked with who pulls the same victimization stunt. He's always late on his invoices, and when we try to collect he comes back with a ridiculous complaint. One month he complained that we didn't forward the mail that he has sent to our office. For some reason he gave out our address out as his place of business, and all kinds of junk mail was appearing in our mailbox with his name on it. He expected us to sort through it and deliver the important items to him. Well, he at least expected us to accept that our not doing so was a realistic excuse for him to get out of paying his bill.
posted by Hoenikker at 7:41 AM on December 24, 2009