Where unique identities are born every day.

December 25, 2009 8:56 PM

Need an uncommon name for your child, pet, car or fictional character? Limitless choices are now a click away. Some of my favorites: Monron, Kinley, and Kendricki. [via mefi projects]
posted by ivey (76 comments total)

</ Some clever comment about Sarah & Todd Palin's choices for their childrens' names>
posted by squalor at 9:01 PM on December 25, 2009 [3 favorites]

Her. Her name, is Losela be careful, mon ami it hurts to love that one.

Seems to work well enough for low grade pulp. I like it.
posted by Rubbstone at 9:03 PM on December 25, 2009

Psh. Like I need some website to tell me to name my firstborn "Gayland."
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 9:09 PM on December 25, 2009 [2 favorites]

This is my fav so far: Magdalberto. I used to make up long ornate names like these for my writing assignments in French class where other people were talking about Marie and Therese.
Also alot of these also sound like possible medication names:
Prolann
Hallyson
Orvillen
Daystal
posted by amethysts at 9:12 PM on December 25, 2009

Kind of like the Utah Baby Namer:

"With the generally larger-than-average family, often saddled with the very ordinary surnames Smith, Johnson, or Young, it's not surprising that many Utah parents look for unique given names for their children. When you throw in the reverence for family and ancestors forwarded by the LDS Church, it seems inevitable that someone would end up with LaEarl, KDell, Arnolene or Hariella."
posted by autoclavicle at 9:14 PM on December 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

Anyone who uses that site is required to read Baby's Named a Bad Bad Thing first.
posted by IndigoRain at 9:15 PM on December 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

Lavadawn?
posted by Rinku at 9:30 PM on December 25, 2009

Can't. Stop. Creating. Names. It's interesting when the "new" names are actual names like Bela or Ally.

Favs so far include Yvettyann, Corenelope, Chingaline and Fumbers.
posted by jenny76 at 9:37 PM on December 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

Hardly as unique as my little baby son 6981EE28-E9CE-41D7-87DE-F3B847D5ADAA now is it?
posted by schwa at 9:39 PM on December 25, 2009 [7 favorites]

Allucquere?

Oh, wait that wasn't from the site...
posted by Confess, Fletch at 9:41 PM on December 25, 2009

“Jenneferson.”

Wow.
posted by sonic meat machine at 9:42 PM on December 25, 2009

The first page I got had names that sounded a bit like the heroines of bad fantasy romances, but nothing too horrifying. Clearly I need to try again.
posted by immlass at 9:51 PM on December 25, 2009

My great-grandmother was also named Dungella.
posted by chasing at 9:57 PM on December 25, 2009

Nitpick: front page says:
"Just click on the “Create Names” tab to get new names."

... but the tab is labeled "Invent Names" instead.
posted by legion at 9:58 PM on December 25, 2009

Shermarcelina
Patilde
Signacia
Shelissa
Ceckie
Lorazon
Temikassie
Deus
Vesteban

What? No Lemonjello?
posted by dhartung at 10:03 PM on December 25, 2009

I'm so worried someone is going to come across this and use the name "Malcolmingo" for some innocent young boy.
posted by Night_owl at 10:07 PM on December 25, 2009

I pity the baby named Epifaniannon.
posted by msbutah at 10:08 PM on December 25, 2009

Stuarminda, leave Giovannatalie alone!

Chief Justice Domingarett Nardo Jones.
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:10 PM on December 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

All my children will be named after slightly mis-typed Windows 98 keys. Please welcome to the world DMWRC-T9XP4-GJ2P8-24G66-V9WBB.
posted by sourwookie at 10:11 PM on December 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

Libel! LIBEL! I wish my name was Libel.

Libel: "You're an asshole."
Stuarminda: "That's slander!"
Giovannatalie: "Nope... THAT'S LIBEL!"

~theme song plays~
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:13 PM on December 25, 2009 [10 favorites]

Where I work, we keep a database of music students. As of last month we had 22 Austin's taking lessons--out of a couple hundred--small store, small town.

This tells me that if you were an American male born between 93 and 97 statistically you are an Austin.
posted by sourwookie at 10:15 PM on December 25, 2009 [2 favorites]

schwa: Hardly as unique as my little baby son 6981EE28-E9CE-41D7-87DE-F3B847D5ADAA now is it?

Sorry, you've already been beaten to the punch by Swedes Elisabeth Hallin and Lasse Diding, who named their son Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116, pronounced Albin. I also quite like little Metallica Tomato (same link).
posted by Kattullus at 10:24 PM on December 25, 2009 [3 favorites]

Maybe there should be a law or two against weird baby names.
posted by ZenithNadir at 10:25 PM on December 25, 2009

This is so awesome. I love it.
posted by Lobster Garden at 10:30 PM on December 25, 2009

Metallica Tomato

Two things in this world I truly love.
posted by sourwookie at 10:32 PM on December 25, 2009

"Fralph."
posted by Lobster Garden at 10:38 PM on December 25, 2009 [3 favorites]

Look, if I have kids, I'm going to name them how I name my electronics: after characters from Futurama.

Little Turanga and Calculon will fit in so well at school.
posted by gc at 10:44 PM on December 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

Corgette - eggplant
Scardath - Sith
Camittie - For the family that decides together
Raylexa - new drug
Roseannestina - This will never fit on any form ever.
Wood - Wood?
Nene - kind of redundant if you speak Spanish
Queene - that "e" makes a huge difference.
Blondebbi - other choices include Brunettedebbi and Redebbi
posted by cmgonzalez at 10:44 PM on December 25, 2009 [3 favorites]

I obviously meant zucchini, not eggplant.

Edit pony, where are you?
posted by cmgonzalez at 10:45 PM on December 25, 2009

This site unfortunately completely misses the newest naming trend at our local hospitals, which is creative use of the "-".

For example: L-a (pronounced "Ladasha").
posted by archofatlas at 10:48 PM on December 25, 2009

Crudence

The perfect name for the offspring of CCR and Beatles fans.
posted by Esteemed Offendi at 10:50 PM on December 25, 2009 [2 favorites]

For example: L-a (pronounced "Ladasha").

Not this crap again.

posted by cmgonzalez at 10:52 PM on December 25, 2009 [13 favorites]

Not this crap again.

cmgonazles, give me a break. First, I'm not making this shit up. People of all walks name their kids crazy things all the time, and if you spend enough time in the babymaking business (or know people who do) you will see it all.

I really hope you aren't implying that I'm racist. Because you have no idea what the ethnicity of the baby I was referring was, do you?
posted by archofatlas at 11:02 PM on December 25, 2009

Heh, it gave me Graycee as one of the names, which happens to be the name of my cat. Well, Grey-C, but it was close! Guess what color she is. We drew names from a hat.
posted by kosher_jenny at 11:16 PM on December 25, 2009

The DiCaprio's had another son, Fleopoldo, who was never destined to be an actor.
posted by iamkimiam at 11:44 PM on December 25, 2009

Curlene is an awesome name. It evokes both the Little Rascals and the Three Stooges. Who wouldn't want their child to carry that heritage?
posted by grounded at 11:50 PM on December 25, 2009

Moisteen.

Oh dear.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 12:12 AM on December 26, 2009 [6 favorites]

This is fun. I'm finding lots of great names for WoW characters and hypothetical future pets (a St. Bernard named Stanfred!).
posted by keli at 1:07 AM on December 26, 2009

There would appear to be no two-letter names generated. I am a firm believer in two-letter names. We named our daughter Io (pronounced eye-oh), which is the name of a Greek goddess and a moon of Jupiter. It will be an easy name for just about anyone in the world to pronounce, and think of the accumulated time she'll save, with such a short name to write or type out!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:28 AM on December 26, 2009

Because you have no idea what the ethnicity of the baby I was referring was, do you?

Is the answer 'black'?

Well?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 2:45 AM on December 26, 2009

Dickole?

Seriously?
posted by mollywas at 3:34 AM on December 26, 2009

Lardo
Genita
Dicka
Vandal
Soonie
Seen
Mart
Dad
Cell
Loidget
Wilhelminamaria
Got
Dis
...and here is my little Dorter.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:47 AM on December 26, 2009

If mefi has a baby, we can name it... Beangelo. That was actually one of my BabyZoink creations -- along with... Metanley. !! Seriously. Look!
posted by taz at 4:07 AM on December 26, 2009

Is the answer 'black'?

Shrug. My point is, assumptions are certainly being very freely made all around, and I was just telling what I thought was a cute, and, may I point out, something I never heard of until I saw it myself. I know who and what I am, so, whatever.

I'm very sorry I didn't tell the story of my friend's elementary school classmate who had the fortune to be named Han Solo; she was five when the first Star Wars movie came out.

Or the guy I knew who had the initials "A.S.S" - at my school people are assigned numbers after their name; there is just no way that it could have been coincidence that he ended up with the email address "ass9".

True. Stories.

OK?
posted by archofatlas at 4:40 AM on December 26, 2009

cmgonazles, give me a break. First, I'm not making this shit up. People of all walks name their kids crazy things all the time, and if you spend enough time in the babymaking business (or know people who do) you will see it all.

I really hope you aren't implying that I'm racist. Because you have no idea what the ethnicity of the baby I was referring was, do you?

In the urban legend you referenced, the baby is black. I don't know if you are a racist or not--all I know is that in your own way you are perpetuating racism by continuing a racist myth. We know you didn't make it up. You got it from your friends and relatives, who in turn were passing on a myth made up by someone who probably was complete skinhead racist nutjob, and who know he can rely on people like you to pass on his lunacy and then dunk behind the shield of "well, innocent ol' me never said anything about the baby's race."

You've never seen a baby named L-a. No one you know, even by casual acquaintance or the friend of a friend, has named their baby that. If you work at a hospital, no child born there carries that name. Prove any of those statements wrong, and I'll send you a check for $50. Prove that there are three children born in the last year at local hospitals in your vicinity who have a pronounced dash in their name (three being the bare minimum that I can imagine qualifying for the trend that you claimed is taking place) and I'll send you a check for the total of my life savings.

In poker, this is where we say put up or shut up.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 4:46 AM on December 26, 2009 [20 favorites]

Eulahalia. I love this name. I think it means "He who shouts at end user license agreements".
posted by Solomon at 5:04 AM on December 26, 2009 [3 favorites]

Edit pony, where are you?

Out past 6pm again; he is definitely grounded for a week this time!
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:24 AM on December 26, 2009

Fedmundo. Sounds like a character from a bank heist movie-- the charming driver with dimples who is accidentally killed by one of his co-conspirators.

Dahloe. Blonde with a heart of ice. Growing up in privilege, she spends her summers sailing and her winters skiing and only dates waiters so that she can feel superior as she stomps on their hearts.

Annamarmalina. The chubby, lovable wombat in a children's picture book. She isn't the main character, but her sweet docility makes her a favorite with parents.

Larith. Iowa boy born and bred, he collects cowboy memorabilia and dreams of moving to Wyoming. Unfortunately, he is asthmatic and allergic to horses.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:38 AM on December 26, 2009

You've never seen a baby named L-a.

Pater, like I said, I'm not making this up; I didn't get this from a friend, the story is from personal experience, although since then I've been told this isn't the first creative use of "-" seen where I was working.

This is exactly how the conversation went:

Me: "Hi there, XX, I'm just here to check up on you this morning. Are you breastfeeding little... (glance at incubator) La?"
X: (Laughs). Pronounce the dash.
Me: "L-hyphen-a?"

How was that not funny? And where's my 50 bucks?
posted by archofatlas at 7:01 AM on December 26, 2009

Jonathaniqua!
posted by limeonaire at 7:03 AM on December 26, 2009

Things in the past were just fine you whippersnappers; there are enough weird names from the past for me without your high-tech mumbo-jumbo. My next children will be titled, in order:

Elspeth
Murgatroyd
Ignatz
Hertha
Pail
Lucretia
Hildegard
Hubert
Hobart
Humbert
Clothilde
Eustace

(Not saying which names are boys' or girls'.)
posted by Hardcore Poser at 7:35 AM on December 26, 2009

I didn't get this from a friend, the story is from personal experience

Holy crap, archofatlas goes for the hail-Mary all-in. It is amazing what cognitive dissonance can do.
posted by bitslayer at 7:57 AM on December 26, 2009 [3 favorites]

You had me at Phillary.
posted by asockpuppet at 8:06 AM on December 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Friend named Judy with husband Lynn named their daughter Ju De Lynn. She answers to the nickname Muggs.......
posted by bjgeiger at 8:08 AM on December 26, 2009

Does your hospital have a website with birth announcements, archofatlas? Many do.
posted by box at 8:08 AM on December 26, 2009

>if you spend enough time in the babymaking business (or know people who do) you will see it all.

> the story is from personal experience, although since then I've been told this isn't the first creative use of "-" seen where I was working.

And that would be in the babymaking business, right?

Archo, I think you should read cmgonzalez's link and also this one. Maybe it'll help you better understand why people are giving you a hard time about this.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 8:25 AM on December 26, 2009

I honestly don't understand why the creative use of the "-" is thought to be such an obvious urban legend.

I mean, didn't America have a Secretary of State called : Powell?
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:38 AM on December 26, 2009 [4 favorites]

Holy crap, archofatlas goes for the hail-Mary all-in. It is amazing what cognitive dissonance can do.

Well, I'm pretty early in training (really, still pre-training), but I already have stories. And if they're amusing, rather than sad or stressful, then that's a good thing.

Does your hospital have a website with birth announcements, archofatlas? Many do.

Wow. I hadn't really planned on looking for citations, and I've never checked for public birth announcements. So as far as I can tell, my hospital (county hospital) doesn't have such a feature, but I did find public records online; when I searched, on the first page there's at least one instance of a "Laa" in my county. The hyphens apparently don't register; I tried my mom's name (she has a hyphen in her first name) and her name doesn't come up unless I leave it out.

Not posting that search, I feel a little weird posting someone else's information on a public forum.

Although I can't resist deviating from that from that to make my point that this database should be maybe taken with a grain of salt - my information appears accurate, my mom's address is correct, but I'm not sure about the information for "Diarrhea Fartknocker" living in the city of "Poo, TX".

On preview - gotta run, but thanks, kuujjua, I'll check out your link. And yes, babymaking.
posted by archofatlas at 8:41 AM on December 26, 2009

When you claim to have encountered in the real world what has previously only existed in urban legend you've wandered into the territory of Extraordinary Claims Require Extraordinary Proofs. It's kind of like you'd said that you knew where Jimmy Hoffa is buried, that Elvis had bought you a cup of coffee at a Starbucks the other day or that you used to supply gerbils to Richard Gere. It's very hard to accept that the mythological world has intruded onto reality.
posted by Kattullus at 9:10 AM on December 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

My first result included Miko. I tried a couple more times but received no other metafilter user names.

But what if a mefite named his/her child Haughey ?

[I gave into the temptation of giving snark].
posted by fizzix at 9:14 AM on December 26, 2009

Sanjuandrea. Do I win?
posted by Strange Interlude at 9:49 AM on December 26, 2009

"Uteresa" lol
posted by mr. strange at 10:12 AM on December 26, 2009

Ha ha, Jerrodmundo. also known as the spanish language channel exclusively broadcasting commercials for mall jewelery stores.
posted by Hello, Revelers! I am Captain Lavender! at 10:31 AM on December 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

I am loving that Bad Babies link posted by Indigo Rain:

In a few months I'm going to be a new mom, and we know its a girl. My dh and I have been discussing names lately (we already have six children: Jack Dominick, Rose Solenne, Monroe Charlize, Ophelia Eden, Heart Scarlett, Pascal Sebastien)

So disregarding the middle names which don't usually come up in casual conversation, she has one son named Jack and another named Pascal. I hope for his own sake that Pascal comes up with some sort of cool nickname like "Rascal" or "Bass" or "Cal."

And if my name was "Heart Scarlett" I would hate my parents with the hate of a thousand burning suns.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 11:10 AM on December 26, 2009

Latrician? One who installs or cleans latrines?
posted by Cranberry at 12:51 PM on December 26, 2009

"Hi, I'm Blo. What's your name?"

"Die."

"Geez, sorry I asked."
posted by H-Bar at 1:16 PM on December 26, 2009

When you claim to have encountered in the real world what has previously only existed in urban legend you've wandered into the territory of Extraordinary Claims Require Extraordinary Proofs.

For what it's worth, I don't find this so extraordinary. If an urban legend has put this silly name in the public consciousness, is it so strange if someone decides to actually use it for their child? Maybe I'm being tone deaf here, but I don't find the name itself offensive, and wouldn't be surprised if someone thought it was cute.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:03 PM on December 26, 2009

Dr Dracator: For what it's worth, I don't find this so extraordinary. If an urban legend has put this silly name in the public consciousness, is it so strange if someone decides to actually use it for their child? Maybe I'm being tone deaf here, but I don't find the name itself offensive, and wouldn't be surprised if someone thought it was cute.

How many children named Oranjello do you know? :)

Snopes, as usual, has a good debunking of these kinds of things.
posted by Kattullus at 2:49 PM on December 26, 2009

In my opinion, there are too many "unique" names for kids already. I mean, there are people who've named their kid Sephiroth for fuck's sake. Can you imagine living with that?

That said, there are occasional instances of it I like. I remember seeing a youtube video of a little girl dressed up as a Team Fortress medic for Halloween (can't search for it as I'm at work and youtube is blocked), and the girl's name was apparently Allele. This is incredibly geeky, but it sounds pretty and the average person would probably think it was just a variant on a "normal" name anyhow.
posted by Target Practice at 9:54 PM on December 26, 2009

I mean, there are people who've named their kid Sephiroth for fuck's sake.

Maybe the kid's parents where Cabbalists, not gamers.
posted by Dr Dracator at 4:01 AM on December 27, 2009

archofatlas: "You've never seen a baby named L-a.

Pater, like I said, I'm not making this up; I didn't get this from a friend, the story is from personal experience, although since then I've been told this isn't the first creative use of "-" seen where I was working.

This is exactly how the conversation went:

Me: "Hi there, XX, I'm just here to check up on you this morning. Are you breastfeeding little... (glance at incubator) La?"
X: (Laughs). Pronounce the dash.
Me: "L-hyphen-a?"

How was that not funny? And where's my 50 bucks?"

http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/le-a.asp
posted by IndigoRain at 5:36 AM on December 27, 2009

I read this thread's title differently than most of you. Why? I have a friend named Need.
posted by kozad at 10:57 AM on December 27, 2009

JENNYFIVETINA!
posted by axiom at 1:46 PM on December 27, 2009

Isha
Mine
Louro
Aileigha
Keline
Olivera
Alfonzonia
Carmelinda
Ass


yeah, pretty much.
posted by headless at 11:21 PM on December 27, 2009

My husband and I spent yesterday with his family. The subject of unusual baby names came up. Sister-in-law eagerly shared with us, "My friend Donna who teaches kindergarten had twins in her class named....LeMonJello and OrAnJello."

I think my jaw dropped. Then I moaned a bit. My husband said immediately, "No. That's an urban myth. Look it up on Snopes." Of, course Sister-in-law continued to declare over and over that "Yes, it's true. It really happened. Donna wouldn't lie."

Of course, if I happened to ask Donna, she would say that they were not in HER classs, but in another teacher's class, because urban legends always happen to a friend of a friend.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:40 AM on December 28, 2009

My favorite one so far is Petefan. It's like a patronym, only friendlier!
posted by Spatch at 12:40 PM on December 28, 2009