The hell with your unbreakable phone.

January 11, 2010 12:17 PM

The hell with your unbreakable phone. BBC Reporter Dan Simmons destroys "the world's most rugged phone" in about three seconds.
posted by boo_radley (87 comments total)

Link doesn't work for me in Safari or FF.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 12:21 PM on January 11, 2010

I LOLed.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 12:21 PM on January 11, 2010

Disappointly explosion-free, I thought it was going to be good when I saw a shotgun but that turned out to be an ad for "Border Wars".
posted by ghharr at 12:22 PM on January 11, 2010

I broke an "unbreakable" comb once.
posted by buriednexttoyou at 12:23 PM on January 11, 2010 [7 favorites]

The CEO took it in remarkably good spirits.

Will no doubt get more hits than it would have otherwise.
posted by fire&wings at 12:24 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

I thought the CEO handled it pretty well, laughed it off. When they made the "you can hammer a nail with it" claim they probably didn't imagine using the screen.

ANYTHING is breakable, with enough effort, but that was way too easy to break for something claiming unbreakability.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 12:26 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

So my first thought was, "well, duh," but what makes this video charming is just how surprised everybody seems to be that he actually managed to break the thing.

To be fair, the guy who makes the phone says that "you should be able to drop it about 10 stories," which doesn't sound too "unbreakable" in a world with 11-story buildings.

Also, video worked for me with Firefox
posted by GameDesignerBen at 12:26 PM on January 11, 2010

Yeah, I did about the same thing with my iPhone the other week. That broke too.
posted by sveskemus at 12:28 PM on January 11, 2010

This made me genuinely happy.
posted by poe at 12:28 PM on January 11, 2010

ANYTHING is breakable, with enough effort

This needs to be a stock answer for future relationshipfilter ask.mefi questions!
posted by Greg Nog at 12:28 PM on January 11, 2010 [17 favorites]

Back in the late 70's, my mom brought home "unbreakable" plates. As soon as she left for work, my brother and I proceeded to spent the next several hours throwing said plates all around the house. When Mom came home, we pulled her into the kitchen and said, "they really ARE unbreakable! Watch!" My brother lifted the plate over his head and smashed it down onto the linoleum, where the dish shattered into many pieces. That was an unpleasant night in our home, but taught us all a very valuable lesson about the breakability of the unbreakable.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 12:32 PM on January 11, 2010 [35 favorites]

"Hard-hitting journalism" as a friend of mine commented when I twittered this earlier...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:32 PM on January 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

ANYTHING is breakable, with enough effort

This needs to be a stock answer for future relationshipfilter ask.mefi questions!

AIBWEE
posted by jckll at 12:38 PM on January 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

"Unbreakable" is one of those claims that I need to see evaluated first with an angle-grinder and second with a ten ton press. Anything that you build that can shake off those gets invited to the final, and most trying round; my dogs.

If it survives that gauntlet and still works, you get to keep the name. Hell, I'll even endorse it.
posted by quin at 12:40 PM on January 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

That was an unpleasant night in our home, but taught us all a very valuable lesson about the breakability of the unbreakable. malicious irony of a bitter god
posted by shakespeherian at 12:42 PM on January 11, 2010 [32 favorites]

Hrmph. I was hoping for a different Dan Simmons. :(
posted by zarq at 12:42 PM on January 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

The slightly more reticent 'Almost indestructible' hard drive is put to the (slightly more impressive) test(s) via the same page.
posted by i_cola at 12:43 PM on January 11, 2010

My brother lifted the plate over his head and smashed it down onto the linoleum, where the dish shattered into many pieces.

I did the exact same thing with one of Mom's "unbreakable" plates, except I dropped it onto the concrete front porch. "But it said it was unbreakable..."

She couldn't really punish me and had to laugh because I was just testing the product claims. 8-)
posted by mrbill at 12:43 PM on January 11, 2010

I'd think it'd be fairly clear that "unbreakable" means "normal accidents won't damage it notably or impair functionality," not "you cannot actually break the phone."

Just sticking with the term "rugged" is probably more honest, but the use of "unbreakable" in this way doesn't seem like it should rank particularly high on the list of terminology abuses out there.
posted by weston at 12:44 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

But is it EMP-hardened? I need to be able to txt my BFFs after the apocalypse!
posted by backseatpilot at 12:45 PM on January 11, 2010

But will it BLEND?
posted by briank at 12:45 PM on January 11, 2010 [10 favorites]

This is as close to "unbreakable" as I ever expect to see.
posted by Joe Beese at 12:46 PM on January 11, 2010 [14 favorites]

The CEO took it in remarkably good spirits.

While I think on the outside he presented great cheer, you can almost hear the "MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRR" going on inside his head. Oh well, here's CES!
posted by cavalier at 12:48 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Everytime I see the word "unbreakable" bandied about, I think of this tool. The journalist in question is essentially using the aquarium corner in the same fashion.
posted by pwnguin at 12:49 PM on January 11, 2010

So my company built an unsinkable ship and we're now accepting passengers for the maiden voyage... any takers?
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 12:54 PM on January 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

My wife has never tried to break a product marked unbreakable. A factoid I find just as hard to understand as she found my assertion that almost all men at one time or another have seen the word unbreakable as a challenge. I hope someone has some experiences that defy gender pigeonholing on this, as I'd like to be wrong.
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:54 PM on January 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

To be fair, the guy who makes the phone says that "you should be able to drop it about 10 stories," which doesn't sound too "unbreakable" in a world with 11-story buildings.

And um, nuclear weapons...
posted by Naberius at 12:59 PM on January 11, 2010

Years ago, I got some pictures in the mail. The sender wrote, "Picture--do not bend!" on the large manila envelope. They showed up in my mailbox all creased and mangled and with some anonymous postal employee's handwritten rebuttal on said envelope--"Yes, they do!"
posted by leftcoastbob at 1:03 PM on January 11, 2010 [20 favorites]

"And now, you get to take an exclusive look at what's inside the phone!"
posted by MrVisible at 1:07 PM on January 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

> As soon as she left for work, my brother and I proceeded to spent the next several hours throwing said plates all around the house.

When I was a little kid I was briefly under the impression that it was impossible to get anything made out of "stainless" steel dirty. I smeared a pair of my mom's scissors with chocolate syrup and was a bit dismayed when it didn't just magically disappear. On the plus side, I made the syrup disappear by just licking it off.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:08 PM on January 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

When I was in elementary school someone from JPL (I think) came to speak, and they had these near-space weather balloons, which were very state-of-the-art back then. He brought along a sample of the material they were made of (my memory of this says it was mylar) and said that this material was so strong that it would not rip. He grabbed a piece of it on either side and pulled, to prove it.

When this piece of material was being passed around, I took it with both hands close together at the top of the sheet and rrripped it really easily. The guy was embarrassed, and, while I was not formally punished, the next few minutes did not go well for me.
posted by Danf at 1:09 PM on January 11, 2010

When I was a little kid I was briefly under the impression that it was impossible to get anything made out of "stainless" steel dirty. I smeared a pair of my mom's scissors with chocolate syrup and was a bit dismayed when it didn't just magically disappear. On the plus side, I made the syrup disappear by just licking it off.

Maybe it's just me but licking scissors sounds like a worse idea than smearing them with chocolate in the first place.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:11 PM on January 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oh, if you nuke the phone it just reforms in about a minute, only now it's pissed off and radioactive.
posted by Artw at 1:12 PM on January 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

I swear there was a post about this phone on Ask Metafilter months ago, asking for alternatives.
posted by smackfu at 1:12 PM on January 11, 2010

I think we should all head over to CES and get our free phones!
posted by graventy at 1:13 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

My wife has never tried to break a product marked unbreakable. A factoid I find just as hard to understand as she found my assertion that almost all men at one time or another have seen the word unbreakable as a challenge.

On at least one occasion I have almost bought a box of Smucker's Uncrustables just so I could try to crust them.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:15 PM on January 11, 2010 [6 favorites]

I broke many rulers and notebooks that were allegedly 'unbreakable' as a wee one.
posted by sperose at 1:23 PM on January 11, 2010

Oh, shatterproof ruler, how I smited thee...
posted by Artw at 1:24 PM on January 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

An unbreakable phone is useful for breaking other phones.
posted by davelog at 1:24 PM on January 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

I want that hard drive.
posted by fourcheesemac at 1:25 PM on January 11, 2010

Although I wonder how many guys have seen 'Betcha can't eat just one' as a challenge.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:25 PM on January 11, 2010

> Maybe it's just me but licking scissors sounds like a worse idea than smearing them with chocolate in the first place.

When you're an eight year-old boy, you have very few ideas that you pre-emptively label as "bad."
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:26 PM on January 11, 2010 [6 favorites]

The first time I saw a plastic peanut butter jar (get off my lawn, they used to be glass) I was at my friend Dave's house and he said, "Look dude! Unbreakable jar!" and tossed it on the floor. Sure, the slightly flexible jar bounced nicely, but on the second impact the hard plastic lid broke into bits.

Unbreakable, indeed.
posted by dirtdirt at 1:30 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

My brother lifted the plate over his head and smashed it down onto the linoleum, where the dish shattered into many pieces.

She fell for the "This isn't no run-of-the-mill 'Crapperware'" line, huh.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:32 PM on January 11, 2010

When this piece of material was being passed around, I took it with both hands close together at the top of the sheet and rrripped it really easily. The guy was embarrassed, and, while I was not formally punished, the next few minutes did not go well for me.

That sounds familiar. My 11th grade science class teacher waxed lyrically during our first class about his pyrex lab equipment. I believe that one of the phrases he used to describe them was "practically indestructible." Then he passed a few around the room, so we could see the Miracle of Pyrex Oooh. Ahhhh. for ourselves.

In an ironic twist of fate, I accidentally dropped one of them onto the tile floor of the classroom, where it smashed into many, many pieces. My father was a retired high school biology teacher who knew my teacher well. I not only had to explain to my science teacher, my guidance counselor, my assistant principal and my school's principal that the damned thing really had accidentally slipped out of my hands (I swear!,) but then later that evening I had to face one seriously pissed-off parent, who thought I was being a wise-ass to a friend of his.

I really do regret the superglue prank I pulled on that teacher in a misguided act of revenge later that semester, though....
posted by zarq at 1:33 PM on January 11, 2010

A truly Unbreakable phone would be all build-up and then a bunch of title cards explaining that Samuel L. Jackson is actually the badguy and what the plot of the rest of the movie would have been.
posted by Artw at 1:35 PM on January 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

The only truly unbreakable thing ever manufactured is the Zippo lighter. And if it ever breaks, they'll fix it for free.

Now I want a Zippo phone.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 1:36 PM on January 11, 2010

Let's all go to the CES
Let's all go to the CES
Let's all go to the SEEE EEEEE ESSSSSSSS...
And have ourselves a snack

/cue gadget suggestively jumping into hot dog bun
posted by Babblesort at 1:38 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

The only truly unbreakable thing ever manufactured is the Zippo lighter. And if it ever breaks, they'll fix it for free.

Now I want a Zippo phone.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:36 PM on January 11 [+] [!]

Theres a app for that
posted by ShawnString at 1:44 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Well,

I don't tend to smash my cell phone into the side of fish tanks repeatedly until they break. But I did accidentally leave my Casio GzOne in my cargo pants when I sent them through the washer and dryer, and it still works, which is indestructible enough for me.
posted by Comrade_robot at 1:45 PM on January 11, 2010

and god i feel bad for saying that
posted by ShawnString at 1:45 PM on January 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

One Christmas we got this gizmo called a Panic Mouse for our cats. It was billed as unbreakable. It took about ten minutes to assemble, with four Maine Coons watching me in rapt attention. They knew. I turn the thing on. It lasted five precarious minutes as they took turns swatting at the flying mouse and not being dissuaded even by the highest speed. Finally our alpha male grabbed the mouse flying off the bar, slammed it to the floor (which bent the bar), and then held it down until the motor burned out. Then they all walked off to find some wrapping paper to scrimmage in. My wife said they should have said in the fine print "Not to be used with Maine Coons".
posted by Ber at 2:08 PM on January 11, 2010 [10 favorites]

The anscestors of the Maine Coon cat perusaded Marie Antoinette to stay in Versailles while they rode a boat to safety in the New World. Clearly they are cats that are up to something.
posted by Artw at 2:13 PM on January 11, 2010 [6 favorites]

But I did accidentally leave my Casio GzOne in my cargo pants when I sent them through the washer and dryer, and it still works, which is indestructible enough for me.

We've sent two Nokia's and a Uniden cordless phone through the washing machine, and they came good after drying out for a week or so, which was very impressive.
posted by Jimbob at 2:13 PM on January 11, 2010

Back in the late 70's, my mom brought home "unbreakable" plates.

I remember when soda first started coming in 2 liter (or were they half-gallon at that time?) plastic bottles. My brother and I were able to get the top to pop off a couple of times, but we never did break the bottles, even parking a car on top (and this was a '66 Ford Fairlane).
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:25 PM on January 11, 2010

the impossible dream: dreamt.
the unbeatable foe: fought.
unbearable sorrow: borne.
where the brave dare not go: ran.
the unrightable wrong: righted.
pure and chaste from afar: loved.
when your arms are too weary: tried.
the unreachable star: reached.
the unbreakable phone: broken.
posted by blue_beetle at 2:32 PM on January 11, 2010 [9 favorites]

blue_beetle, I want you to write my wedding vows.
posted by kittyprecious at 2:56 PM on January 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

They should have simply hired these guys to test the phone. They're experts in the field of destroying cell phones. Just watch this deft technique.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:57 PM on January 11, 2010

I remember when soda first started coming in 2 liter (or were they half-gallon at that time?) plastic bottles. My brother and I were able to get the top to pop off a couple of times, but we never did break the bottles, even parking a car on top (and this was a '66 Ford Fairlane).

You have to use the right liquid.
posted by zarq at 3:04 PM on January 11, 2010

AIBWEE

BTMFA
posted by davejay at 3:10 PM on January 11, 2010

Artw -- this thread is not approved for Lovecraft references. Please use of the many fine Antarctica-related posts.
posted by autopilot at 3:17 PM on January 11, 2010

The past tense of "reach" should be "raught."
posted by sonic meat machine at 3:27 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

All computational devices are inherently Lovecraftian.
posted by Artw at 3:46 PM on January 11, 2010

I think if they are going to label anything unbreakable they need to give one to a cranky two year old first. If it can withstand two hours with my kid, then we'll talk about callling it unbreakable.
posted by TooFewShoes at 3:52 PM on January 11, 2010

My brother lifted the plate over his head and smashed it down onto the linoleum, where the dish shattered into many pieces.

Pure classic. Kids are always ingenious at destroying stuff overall, which is why rubber toys are the only ones they should be allowed to have. Until they start biting parts off, of course.
posted by wet-raspberry at 4:07 PM on January 11, 2010

My wife has never tried to break a product marked unbreakable. A factoid I find just as hard to understand as she found my assertion that almost all men at one time or another have seen the word unbreakable as a challenge. I hope someone has some experiences that defy gender pigeonholing on this, as I'd like to be wrong.

I find it almost impossible not to smash the "unbreakable" light switch and outlet plates. The assertion drives me crazy, and here I am, a lady.
posted by Never teh Bride at 4:13 PM on January 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

All computational devices are inherently Lovecraftian.

All computational devices that could be replaced in part by neural networks are inherently Lovecraftian.
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:25 PM on January 11, 2010

ANYTHING is breakable, with enough effort, but that was way too easy to break for something claiming unbreakability.

Titanic, anyone?
posted by miss lynnster at 4:28 PM on January 11, 2010

The next time I'm building a supercomputer I'll be sure to shout "Get the box of leeches, Miss Hornwinkle!".

I wonder if they come in unbreakable varieties.
posted by autopilot at 4:31 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

this is all well and good, Me-folks, and thank you for the anecdotes.

however, did anyone else notice that on the BBC's media player the volume goes to 11?

11!
posted by artof.mulata at 4:33 PM on January 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

Glock 21 torture test. Insane.
posted by Scoo at 6:59 PM on January 11, 2010

I'm somewhat depressed that my first thought when I saw this story was "at least the CEO didn't exert his power to squash the story from airing", because we've seen that happen too many times recently.
posted by scalefree at 7:05 PM on January 11, 2010

"This phone is unbreakable!"
"Well, let's see..."
*SMASH*SMASH*SMASH*
"I said unbreakable, not idiot-proof"
"Awww..."
posted by qvantamon at 7:40 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

This was before my own memory, lost to the dim, hazy times before I turned 4, but my parents apparently went through a whole host of 'unbreakable' toys with me, as I methodically proceeded to break each one. The last in the line of toys that actually made that claim - before they just gave up and planned on replacing them all - was a blue toy train specially made out of very durable foam so that it was not only impossible to bash, smash, fracture, or splinter, but it was also quite effectively tear-resistant. My parents always say that they were delighted and impressed that, through three whole weeks of vigorous play, I did not manage to harm this toy in the slightest, and all my bashings and crashings with it left the toy unharmed. Then, one day, the engine simply disappeared without a trace.

They realized what had happened a few hours later, when I started spitting up chunks of blue foam.

I like to think that this early destructiveness was a sign of what was to come, but who the hell knows. All I can say is, thank god for "indestructible" crap, eh? If not for that, what fun would there be in destroying things?
posted by koeselitz at 7:41 PM on January 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

We've sent two Nokia's and a Uniden cordless phone through the washing machine, and they came good after drying out for a week or so, which was very impressive.
posted by Jimbob at 5:13 PM on January 11 [+] [!]

Oh, uhm, I didn't even dry it out -- the phone's supposed to be kinda sorta waterproof.

It's also made by the good folks who made the Casio G-shock, which I was always impressed by because once when I was a kid, there was a television show which tested (I think?) commercial claims. They'd taken a bunch of watches and did a whole bunch of durability testing on them, culminating with shooting each one with a .22 rifle.

The G-shock was the only one still running after being shot.
posted by Comrade_robot at 8:17 PM on January 11, 2010

At a video store I saw a copy of the DVD box for the movie "Unbreakable" broken on the floor. I think some juvenile did this as a commentary.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:44 PM on January 11, 2010

quin: ""Anything that you build that can shake off those gets invited to the final, and most trying round; my dogs. "

Mine too. I once sent the lovely Kong people a box of shredded "indestructible" toy, with pictures of my dog destroying it in a matter of minutes. They were very nice about it, and instead of a refund, sent a selection of new things for her to try to destroy. One of which has lasted for almost a year now. It may actually *be* indestructible.

This phone? Bah, it wouldn't last 3 minutes.

This word indestructible, I do not think it means what they think it means.
posted by dejah420 at 9:18 PM on January 11, 2010

koeselitz, Thanks for the safety warning. My son is already systematically breaking all his (and his sister's) toys and much to my dismay, ripping books to shreds. He's not even two yet. Today's victim: "Counting Kisses." I'll be sure to keep foam "indestructible" toys away from him. ;)
posted by zarq at 9:18 PM on January 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

One of which has lasted for almost a year now. It may actually *be* indestructible.

I have several family members with GSPs who would love to know what toy lasts for a year of aggressive dog attention.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:23 PM on January 11, 2010

Zippo lighters? Bah. I have to tell this story second-hand, because it is from before I remember things. Someone, a relative perhaps, was at our house. He had a Zippo. I grabbed it. "He won't break it!", the relative said. Within moments, I had broken the top off. I was less than 3 years old.

This whole breakable business doesn't delight me. I have serious problems with expensive items that are hand-held, and breakable. I am afraid of breaking them. I keep my pretty iPhone in a case whenever I'm out of the house, because otherwise, I am positive it would slip out of my giant hand, and break. Too often, things are made to be easy to hold by normal hands, not by giant hands. Fortunate for me, my partner has normal hands.
posted by Goofyy at 3:19 AM on January 12, 2010

My mom tossed me an unbreakable plate from across the kitchen once, as a joke. I was so startled and confused I dropped the 50 dollar cordless phone and made a frantic grab for the plate. The phone landed on the floor and it shattered. At least we still have the plate
posted by tehloki at 5:34 AM on January 12, 2010 [6 favorites]

BrotherCaine: "One of which has lasted for almost a year now. It may actually *be* indestructible.

I have several family members with GSPs who would love to know what toy lasts for a year of aggressive dog attention."

I have a chow (who likes cow femurs as chew toys) and a greyhound/pound puppy that chewed up a set of metal tools...just to given you an idea of the sort of teeth/jaws we're dealing with.

The toy which has survived both of them, and a texas summer/winter cycle is a giant Kong toy that is sewed into sail quality canvas, and then it has "octopus legs" which are part of the same canvas piece, and are reinforced along all seams. I believe it is this toy, although ours has no printing on it, so I cannot be absolutely sure. I wouldn't have thought it was 2 balls...hmmm...ours feels more like a giant kong toy than two balls, but I've never tried to remove the cover to see what's in there.

My beasts love it though, play with it every day, retrieve it out of the duck pond in the summer, toss it to themselves, chase it, hold it by the "legs" and whack themselves in the head with the hard part, play tug'o war with it...we haven't been able to destroy it yet. Only toy to survive my dogs.
posted by dejah420 at 6:31 AM on January 12, 2010

Then, one day, the engine simply disappeared without a trace.

They realized what had happened a few hours later, when I started spitting up chunks of blue foam.

Your analyst called -- you're going to sessions three times a week for a while. You know, just for now.
posted by hippybear at 8:23 AM on January 12, 2010

Frank Costanza: "Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a[n unbreakable phone] for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way."
Cosmo Kramer: "What happened to the [unbreakable phone]?"
Frank Costanza: "It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!"
Kramer: "That must have been some [unbreakable phone]."
Frank Costanza: "She was."
posted by blue_beetle at 9:08 AM on January 12, 2010

The unbreakable umbrella!
posted by K.P. at 10:30 AM on January 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

I have several family members with GSPs who would love to know what toy lasts for a year of aggressive dog attention.

On the packaging for the Kong Extreme (the black ones) there is a picture of a rat terrier. I believe that the reason for this is that ours (despite only weighing about about twenty or so pounds) can slice through the standard red Kongs like they were made of tissue paper.

The black one has lasted for about two years of fairly constant use and is still intact.

Unfortunately, I can't get my dogs anything cloth with seams; it doesn't matter how well made it is, my Australian cattle dog understands at a core level that seams are access points and will dedicate the whole of her being to finding one thread to break, and once she has that, she can open it up like a zipper. Her single minded focus on destruction is both admirable and more than a little disturbing at times.
posted by quin at 11:54 AM on January 12, 2010

Our embedded software firm got a new marketing guy who, for some reason, brought his Tyvek Housewrap side business with him. He claimed it was fire-resistant. I claimed it was polyethylene. That didn't end well, either; burning polyethylene drops flaming globs that solidify on contact with a factory concrete floor and stick like little hi-tech limpets.
posted by flabdablet at 6:19 AM on January 14, 2010