Skip

The Ultimate Battle
January 25, 2010 6:22 PM   Subscribe

Ultimate Battle: The Snuggie vs. Slanket vs. Freedom Blanket vs. Blankoat Ever wonder which one you truly need to blow your money on? Such a tough choice but this article will make it easier.
posted by bluehermit (89 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
I have a robe, it's like a backwards snuggie.
posted by MikeMc at 6:25 PM on January 25, 2010


I have a robe, it's like a backwards snuggie.

You should have read the link....
posted by mr_roboto at 6:28 PM on January 25, 2010


You should have read the link....

I did...back in March of last year.
posted by MikeMc at 6:30 PM on January 25, 2010 [6 favorites]


I have a robe, it's like a backwards snuggie.

Click on the link... good, now scroll down... woah, now! Stop when you see the words "A Robe"! Now read the review. Do you feel you have made the best choice you could have? No? What about even a wise choice? ...Didn't think so. Now go. ...Go I said! Go clean the shame off your digusting robed body.

*Sips wine with arm through Slanket sleeve, shaking head in disgust*
posted by battlebison at 6:31 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Am I the only one who wants to get a black snuggie due to it's theoretical resemblance to some kind of satanic/occultist acolyte's robe?

I am the only one, aren't I?
posted by Avenger at 6:35 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Do any of these make it easier for Daddy to Swipe Our Last Clean Sheet and Joine the KKK?
posted by cjorgensen at 6:37 PM on January 25, 2010


I am the only one, aren't I?

Yes, the rest of us are getting black slankets.
posted by abc123xyzinfinity at 6:38 PM on January 25, 2010 [10 favorites]


It seems like one of those things I'd never buy for myself, but would use if it were a gift. But then, of course, I would never admit to owning one.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 6:39 PM on January 25, 2010


Oh and for the hipster hating portion of Metafilter, these give you even more reasons to hate hipsters as now they are wearing them in public for the irony factor. I've seen it with my own eyes.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 6:40 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Gryffindors wear snuggies. Slytherins wear slankets.
posted by Babblesort at 6:44 PM on January 25, 2010 [6 favorites]


Our office holiday party this year offered a "wearable blanket" as one of the door prizes. A couple of the guys were betting on whether it was a Snuggie or a Slanket. Turns out both were wrong, it was a Cuddlee!
posted by gueneverey at 6:47 PM on January 25, 2010


I put on my wizard snuggie and my ear-flap hat.
posted by DU at 6:49 PM on January 25, 2010 [10 favorites]


I like to wear my Slanket like a robe, pull the top over my head, and pretend I am Obi-Wan Kenobi in the deserts of Tatooine.
posted by briank at 6:51 PM on January 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


I've seen it with my own eyes.

I saw a woman at work wearing one of these at her desk a few weeks ago.
posted by MikeMc at 6:52 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Whoever wins, we all lose.
posted by 0xFCAF at 6:52 PM on January 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


I thought "Slanket" was a joke product from 30 Rock.
posted by Ratio at 6:52 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


"Slanket" just sounds dirty. Dirty in a good way...
posted by MikeMc at 6:54 PM on January 25, 2010


Wearable blanket with legs: the Cabin Cozy! Accept no substitutes.
posted by phliar at 6:57 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Am I the only one who wants to get a black snuggie due to it's theoretical resemblance to some kind of satanic/occultist acolyte's robe?

And yet, in opposition, as a Satanist, I have to say I have no desire to get a black snuggie. I have a green Slanket. It goes NOWHERE NEAR OPEN FLAME, thus negating its use in all but the most modern of ritual chambers.
posted by Weighted Companion Cube at 7:00 PM on January 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


Or what about the sleeping bag with sleeves? You can zip yourself right in!
posted by lexicakes at 7:03 PM on January 25, 2010


I haven't read it yet, but as a Slanket owner, I have to say there can be only one. And the Slanket stands up mightily in the face of a NJ winter. Big sleaves, thick fleece. It's everything you want in blanket and a garment you don't want to overthink.

The Snuggie may have cult appeal, but the Slanket did it first (AFAICT) and did it better. By all accounts, it's thin and has tiny arms. That's a robe. Not a utility blanket. If I wanted something that constricting, I'd not be playing my PS2 in my pajamas.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:06 PM on January 25, 2010


Never held with these or pyjamas. They represent the molly-coddling that is sapping the vital essences of the nation and leaving us susceptible to communist subversion. But apart from that, they are bad things.
posted by Abiezer at 7:11 PM on January 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


Has anyone tried this sack of resignation yet? It's what the people in Wall-E should have worn instead of jumpsuits.

PS: Here's a working link. Apparently, White Castle realized it was too sad to keep carrying. I've never been to a White Castle, but I have been known to eat their frozen burgers.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:11 PM on January 25, 2010


Every year for Christmas, my mother-in-law gets all the adult children a jokey gift, which is usually the most ubiquitous "As seen on TV" gift of the year (the worst so far was the wall-mounted singing fish a couple of years ago). This year, we were all giggling about the fact that we were absolutely certain that she would give us Snuggies, but wouldn't ya know it, she went all practical/frugal and gave everyone hot cider mix and candy. None of us wanted to admit it, but I think we were all disappointed.
posted by amyms at 7:12 PM on January 25, 2010


Sadly, these have been sold out since before Christmas.
posted by hippybear at 7:13 PM on January 25, 2010 [4 favorites]


Okay, I found a video of the couch pouch in action. I might have to buy my Slanket a friend.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:16 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


I got a Snuggie as a sort of gag gift at an office christmas party. It's like a really big airplane blanket with sleeves. The shittiest quality blanket imaginable. I hated it and gave it to my niece who wanted it for some reason.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 7:20 PM on January 25, 2010


While I love my robe, I can't take it to work and wear it in the office. But I'm pretty sure someone sitting around one of these would slide.
posted by dilettante at 7:27 PM on January 25, 2010


Oh, hell, I just trained a bunch of ferrets to cling tenaciously to my body. Keeps me warm and musky!
posted by klangklangston at 7:30 PM on January 25, 2010 [14 favorites]


Enjoy your petty squabbles, I rock onesies! (NSFW language)
posted by yeloson at 7:32 PM on January 25, 2010


Thousands of years from now, archaeologists will be excavating and carbon-dating these snuggie-type things, trying to figure out their relevance, value and use in our society. Fascinating hypotheses will ensue.
posted by grounded at 7:40 PM on January 25, 2010


Tired of that cumbersome snuggie?
posted by painquale at 7:41 PM on January 25, 2010


MaryDellamorte: “It seems like one of those things I'd never buy for myself, but would use if it were a gift. But then, of course, I would never admit to owning one.

Maybe we could arrange some sort of MeFi Slanket Swap of Shame; everyone who secretly wants one but refuses to buy one themselves could sign up, buy one and send it to someone else (thus creating a defense should anyone see them buying it — "it's a gag gift! for Internet People!"), and get one in the mail in an unmarked package for themselves.
posted by Kadin2048 at 7:42 PM on January 25, 2010 [5 favorites]


Thousands of years from now, archaeologists will be excavating and carbon-dating these snuggie-type things

I predict that The Slanket of Schenectady will cause controversy, nay, open religious warfare in the year 2615.
posted by MikeMc at 7:48 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


You know, if we do the swap, I think it'd be most in the spirit of MeFi to make bootleg Snuggies by using pirated open source PDF patterns to sew them ourselves and send them to a MeFite recipient. That way, they're made with love and appropriate fabrics, rather than in some doubtlessly awful Snuggie factory.

Besides, Snuggies are awful, and the Slanket is something like $70. It'd be nice to get it in the mail, but it's the Cadillac of sleeved utility blankets.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:48 PM on January 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


Holy crap painquale, did you see the Japanese Snuggie link in the comments there? That looks like some kind of Dr. Who monster.
posted by XMLicious at 7:49 PM on January 25, 2010 [4 favorites]




These will be one of the signifier artifacts of the late 2000's, early 2010's. They will be bought, used for a few years, then forgotten in the backs of closets, only to air for the occasional yard sale.

Thirty years from now, our kids will discover them in thrift stores only to wear them ironically in the verite cafes.
posted by bonehead at 7:58 PM on January 25, 2010


Am I the first to link to the Snuggie Sutra? (SlightlyNSFW) I'm sure it would work just as well with a Slanket.
posted by TooFewShoes at 7:59 PM on January 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


The wikipedia article is voluminous
posted by lalochezia at 8:03 PM on January 25, 2010


Suck it, haters - I have two "Snuzzles" on my couch right now and they are the most wonderful, cozy, awesome, kick ass things EVAH!
posted by tristeza at 8:18 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Can you weld in a snuggy? I think not.

I recommend one of these.
I can't believe the Carhartt's people haven't stolen the idea yet!
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 8:26 PM on January 25, 2010


I have a snuggly parka that I wear whenever I read Metafilter. It's called a Snarky.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:36 PM on January 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


When you need the exact opposite of a slanket/snuggie/etc.

[LUDICROUS Australian accent]
That's not a root suit.
*holds up condom*
That's a root suit!
[/accent]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:37 PM on January 25, 2010


From the wikipedia article:

Clegg's mother made him a blanket with a single sleeve for use in his cold dorm room.

He pretended to not understand when she said she made that for "when he's using the computer"
posted by qvantamon at 8:45 PM on January 25, 2010 [4 favorites]


THis is making me think that guy who thought we'd all end up wearing comfy jumpsuits "in the future" might've been on to something after all... It's kinda weird this has become such a trend, when it's not as if the technology is anything new.
posted by mdn at 8:58 PM on January 25, 2010


WHAT. That guy is so wrong! He must be some kind of giant! I received a Snuggie for Christmas, and it fits me perfectly!

Actually it's so huge on me, I have to roll the sleeves back by half in order to knit* and if I want to get up for another cup of coffee or whatever, I have to hoist the extra over my shoulder lest I trip myself to death on the huge draping bottom part.

(He's dead right about the static, though.)

* YES I KNIT AND WEAR A SNUGGIE AND WATCH TV ON HULU. It's a wonder I'm still single, really.
posted by ErikaB at 9:10 PM on January 25, 2010 [4 favorites]


mdn...Jumpsuit? Speedsuit. Please.
posted by snwod at 9:14 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Thanks to this post, I just bought a Slanket. Damn you all.
posted by sarahsynonymous at 9:17 PM on January 25, 2010


A short while ago during the more frosty part of winter, I had needs to take a nap in my cold cold car. While trying to catch some rest in a fully reclined seat, I reversed the long coat I had on and tucked it around my body. The sleeves were unnecessary at that point however, as it was a bit to chill to leave the hands exposed comfortably. As I was about to drift off, it occurred to me that there was probably a pretty decent untapped market for some sort of long-oriented warming fabric arrangement that left off the unnecessary sleeves of the Slugankettie (from the makers of Mustmayotardonnaise!) movement. I thought that there'd be a lot of money made, provided I could come up with a similarly catchy name. Right before blissful unconsciousness crept up, inspiration struck me... it could be called a Motherfucking Blanket ™.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:35 PM on January 25, 2010 [5 favorites]


Pfeh. You can't pretend a Snuggie/Slanket/whatever is a sophisticated smoking jacket. With a nice big dark-colored bathrobe, you sure can.

Bathrobes all the way.
posted by Spatch at 9:38 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Thanks to this post, I just bought a Slanket. Damn you all.

Me too. Later, I will come to see this decision as an important turning point in the course of my life: the day I traded my self-respect for fleecy warmth. Welcome to middle age!
posted by hot soup girl at 9:40 PM on January 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


I just have a blanket thrown over the back of my couch. I'm doing it wrong?
posted by desuetude at 9:49 PM on January 25, 2010


Or what about the sleeping bag with sleeves? You can zip yourself right in!

I was all snarky until someone gave me one of these for Xmas. I look like a fucking caterpillar with it on, but it is awesomely warm and comfy. Would seriously cut anyone who gets between me and my microfleecy goodness.
posted by emeiji at 10:02 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Boyfriend got the Slanket for a TV show wrap present. It's okay, but I wish we still had one of these fancy blankets my family had when I was a kid. It had snaps and zippers placed in such a way that you could make sleeves and a wide skirt, like a kimono. Your ass was covered if you wanted to walk to the kitchen for a snack AND you could use it as a real blanket if you felt like it. Take that, Slanket.
posted by queensissy at 10:13 PM on January 25, 2010


I just have a blanket thrown over the back of my couch. I'm doing it wrong?

If it's covered with cat hair, then no, you are not doing it wrong (at least I hope it's not wrong, because that's the way the back-of-the-couch-blanket looks at my house).
posted by amyms at 10:17 PM on January 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


So they show someone walking around in one of these, but never show them from the back.

Why is this superior to just wearing fleece pants and jacket, with warm socks?
posted by Goofyy at 10:18 PM on January 25, 2010


Why is this superior to just wearing fleece pants and jacket, with warm socks?

When you say "warm socks" you mean these. They're almost too toasty. The very Platonic Form of "toasty socks."
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:38 PM on January 25, 2010 [2 favorites]


MikeMc: I saw a woman at work wearing one of these at her desk a few weeks ago

Jeez. Heather Locklear's fallen on hard times.
posted by MuffinMan at 12:14 AM on January 26, 2010


"Warm", as in "warm socks", is a subjective term. What qualifies as warm is a function of ambient temperature as well as floor temperature. I live in an apartment with granite floors, which are themselves heated. Ordinary socks of my preferred variety are just fine, thanks. When I lived in northwestern Wisconsin, warm socks were often hand-knitted wooly monstrosities. But then, up there, "cold" was profanely cold. Here, in Switzerland, "cold" means somewhere below 10c/50f, and damn cold simply means frozen.
posted by Goofyy at 12:32 AM on January 26, 2010


I don't know, I can read a book or grab the remote just fine with a regular blanket, or pretty much any other "problems" the snuggie/slanket products promises to solve. If you fail at blankets so badly you need sleeves, then I'm really sorry, but there is no hope for you.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 12:36 AM on January 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


My snuggie can beat up your snuggie.

(I'm available now for armed battles with typical young men!)

I've genuinely had one of these on my Amazon wishlist for the last few years, though. I live in one of the hottest places in Australia so there's no earthly reason I need one, but god, I want it.
posted by pseudonymph at 3:23 AM on January 26, 2010


So, uh, this may be too far towards self-promotion; in which case mods plese delete (fuck yeah, semi-colon article for showing me proper use (though adding all these parenthesis in make quite a monstrosity of a sentence (sorry, I'm drunk))). But if y'all here are really interested in some fantastic blankets with arms I might be swayed into producing some. I've got the resources to manufacture them, and if I were to do so I'd make them out of the best fleece I could possibly get my hands on. And they'd be super long (I'm 6'4" and they'd damn well cover my feet) with some seriously voluminious sleeves.

If there's enough interest I'd probably be willing to make some up. Maybe in classic Metafilter blue. Though based on past performance of my company getting goods into production I wouldn't want to promise anything until the holiday season of next year (by which, I'm sure, this fad will be long forgotten). But yeah, if anyone's interested, Mefimail me. Expect them to cost less than the most expensive option on this list, but quite a bit more than the next step down (but hey, at that price I could probaby source Polartec fabric and have them manufactured here in Washington).
posted by Jawn at 4:19 AM on January 26, 2010


Why is this superior to just wearing fleece pants and jacket, with warm socks?

Because blankets are all about sleeping and lounging and resting. You can't tuck yourself in with pants.
posted by emeiji at 4:34 AM on January 26, 2010


I'm not afraid.
posted by pracowity at 4:46 AM on January 26, 2010




Slugankettie (from the makers of Mustmayotardonnaise!)

More favorites = better than
posted by DU at 5:09 AM on January 26, 2010


This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate blanketry.
posted by samsara at 5:21 AM on January 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


We are proud owners of not one, not two, but four Slankets at our house, and we like them. No, we love them. But the day I see my wife wearing one of these, is the day I ask her to seek counseling.
posted by genefinder at 5:28 AM on January 26, 2010


Next thing you know, there will be a Snuggie for pets and a Snuggie with gloves and socks.

Behold the horror
.
posted by jquinby at 5:52 AM on January 26, 2010




Am I the only one who wants to get a black snuggie due to it's theoretical resemblance to some kind of satanic/occultist acolyte's robe?


Lo the dark and anicent secrets of the Order Of The Most High And Corrupted Comfort. Gaze upon this accursed throw pillow - so soft, so silky, that you sink into it - FOREVER.
posted by The Whelk at 7:00 AM on January 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Snugglie of +1 Projection From Missles.
posted by The Whelk at 7:01 AM on January 26, 2010


I wear a bathrobe for mobility and tuck a blanket around my legs/feet when I'm suggling on the couch. And then I have the cat foot-warmer, the cat chest-warmer, and the cat floor-warmer for extra snuggly warmth. Works just fine. Snuggie be gone!!
posted by sandraregina at 8:42 AM on January 26, 2010


Whelk, they make that, too. And in "pitch black!"

We should really start a hedonistic bar where people slap on a Snuggie, sink into the cushion of their choice, and just give up as they're served White Russians in little sippy cups (so that you don't even need to worry about holding onto a glass).
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:58 AM on January 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


There are so many other things that I would rather waste money on then a slanket and I know this, but the temptation is so strong.
posted by citizngkar at 9:08 AM on January 26, 2010


My favorite part of the Snuggie review:

There's a reason why this is the cheapest of the bunch, which means you should only consider this if you have a plus-sized dog you want to dress up as a radioactive Superman. Krypto, if you will.

Also, now I want a Cabin Cozy. Darn you, Philar!
posted by bearwife at 9:50 AM on January 26, 2010


There is the Selk Bag, y'know. It's basically a sleeping bag you can walk around in. And it's only $100-- holy shit it's on sale!

*dashes off to buy one in brain-searing yellow*
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 10:47 AM on January 26, 2010


six-or-six-thirty
I love how the guy in your Selk Bag link is posing.
posted by Kloryne at 11:11 AM on January 26, 2010


I suppose this thread could not be complete without mentioning the central role the Snuggie™ played in the 2009 'Life Day' celebrations:

http://worldwidewookieelifeday.blogspot.com/

Facebook page here.
posted by mazola at 11:19 AM on January 26, 2010


SEO bait.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:24 AM on January 26, 2010


Last year I made my own Nuddle. Well, sort of. I never got around to adding the sleeves, but the foot pocket was a revelation. If I were to buy one, this would definitely be my brand of choice.
posted by Eumachia L F at 11:43 AM on January 26, 2010


Eumachia, I read it as "Nudie," and imagined a transparent Snuggie. It would accelerate Snuggie Sutra research by decades.
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:03 PM on January 26, 2010


Eumachia, I read it as "Nudie," and imagined a transparent Snuggie.

Like Roy Orbison's?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:08 PM on January 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Why choose? On cold nights, I wear both a fuzzy bathrobe and a Slanket, completely enfleecing both front and back.
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:48 PM on January 26, 2010


a little late to this party, but the sleeping bag aka the 3-in-1 is the most awesome thing ever. vastly superior to any of the other choices. i got one each for my sisters a couple Christmases ago as a joke and they were a huge hit. plus theyre fun to have foot-races in.
posted by silverstatue at 12:50 PM on January 26, 2010


I love how the guy in your Selk Bag link is posing.

I think that's the sort of thing you just do when you're in a sleeping bag suit. I plan to do it a lot.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 6:08 PM on January 26, 2010


I think the Vancouver Olympic organizers need to hire people to stand in Selk Bags in the poses of the different sports' stickmen.
posted by hippybear at 9:07 PM on January 26, 2010


I have a Godzilla Kigurumi.

It has a tail.
posted by emmling at 6:33 AM on January 27, 2010


« Older World Government Data   |   Bodyrock the Casbah. Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments



Post