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Frederic, Prinz von Anhalt, for Governor (warning autoplay national anthem)
January 28, 2010 7:57 AM   Subscribe

Frederic, Prinz von Anhalt is running for Governor of California Zsa Zsa Gabor's 9th husband, Frederic, Prinz von Anhalt wants your vote as governor of California. Originally Hans Robert Lichtenberg, the son of a German police officer, he was adopted by the octegenarian Princess Marie von Anhalt. Now he's running for governor, promising to return the good life to California by promoting its world-class "avocados, wine, weather beaches and marijuana."

According to the Prinz, after a 1 1/2 hour conversation with Ronald Reagan in the White House, the President encouraged him to go into politics.

Frederic promises to raise a sin tax on marijuana, open the borders to Mexican workers so we can tax them and reduce those terrible DMV fees. He also proposes to "throw divorce lawyers a bone" and "quiet the gays" by overturning Prop 8 and letting them "be as miserable as the rest of us."

If elected, he will demand a recount.
posted by Ironmouth (38 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
The Germans understand that governership of California is usually held by an American, right?
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:00 AM on January 28, 2010 [3 favorites]


Your Holiness, he appears to be a citizen. So sez his website, anyway.
posted by jquinby at 8:01 AM on January 28, 2010


Is this the one who used to be a massuer before being adopted by the family that gave him his title, claimed to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, and ended up getting robbed a gunpoint by 3 attractive women an ending up tied up naked in car somewhat recently?

Yeah, think it is.

Harold Ford must be paying him to run so Ford doesn't end up looking like the most ridiculous candidate in the US this year.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:04 AM on January 28, 2010


Wow. So he's using a modern CMS to manage a page with auto-playing music, Flash, animated GIFs, and no useful content above the fold. Also, all of said content is actually a giant image rather than text. That's some fantastic web design.

That said I think I'm going to incorporate that 100-dollar-bill-as-waving-flag animated GIF at the bottom of the page into all of my future websites.
posted by jedicus at 8:05 AM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is one of the best ideas ever.
posted by ph00dz at 8:06 AM on January 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


ended up getting robbed a gunpoint by 3 attractive women an ending up tied up naked in car somewhat recently

Blaming the victim?
posted by biffa at 8:08 AM on January 28, 2010


Gee, and maybe that guy who always runs for Mayor in San Francisco on a "Make Golden Gate Park Clothing Optional" platform can be his lieutenant governor.
posted by GameDesignerBen at 8:09 AM on January 28, 2010


I'd vote for him. Straightest shooter of any candidate I've seen in a while...
posted by stenseng at 8:24 AM on January 28, 2010


George Washington launched a sneak attack on Christmas morning against a bunch of hung-over German mercenaries so that we, as free 'Murricans, wouldn't have princes in positions of authority over us.

Anti-monarchist-monkey flinches.

That said, if he wants to free the weed, legalize all the folks already doing our gardening, picking our fruit, and cleaning our homes, as well as overturn Prop 8...
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 8:25 AM on January 28, 2010


Why do I get the feeling that this guy would likely govern California from "The Mansion" in satin jammies, with a cigar in one hand and a dirty martini in the other?

Also, weather beach sounds like an exciting (see also: potentially dangerous) option for a vacay.
posted by heyho at 8:28 AM on January 28, 2010


Freddy Prinze Jr. should get on the ballot just to steal votes from the Prince.

Also, Prince.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:32 AM on January 28, 2010 [3 favorites]


This is just plain ridiculous. But very colourful :D
posted by flippant at 8:38 AM on January 28, 2010


Sweet damn, but for the last decade or so California gubernatorial politics has been like an early-90s straight-to-video political comedy featuring multiple cameos by SNL alums.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:43 AM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


I hate it when people are so ridiculous that they make good ideas sound crazy.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:43 AM on January 28, 2010 [4 favorites]


Also, congratulations, this page is already the second google result for "Frederic Prinz von Anhalt"
posted by Navelgazer at 8:44 AM on January 28, 2010


Unless I'm mistaken, the people of California elected Ronald Regan, Sonny Bono and the Terminator to represent them, all within the past few decades.

I'm not saying Zsa Zsa's ex- is a shoe-in, but it would hardly be surprising.
posted by paisley henosis at 8:51 AM on January 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


How is it that this idea is any less credible than an Austrian bodybuilder having been governor of "Caulifornia" for the past six years?
posted by blucevalo at 8:54 AM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


Running for Governor of California seems to be the in thing for washed up attention whores who aren't getting their fair share of gossip and press.
Well, that and checking in to rehab.
posted by rocket88 at 8:55 AM on January 28, 2010


During the Davis recall, apparently you only needed like $50 and 100 signatures or something else ludicrously low to run for governor. I personally knew three people who were running.

Oh, California. The world's fifth-largest economy should maybe be taken a bit more seriously.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:01 AM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


Sometimes there the right man for the right time.
posted by The Whelk at 9:08 AM on January 28, 2010


The Germans understand that governership of California is usually held by an American Australian Austrian, right?

FTFY.
posted by blue_beetle at 9:08 AM on January 28, 2010


Louche. His adopted son (adopted in that he negotiated a multimillion dollar deal for assuming Frederic's last name) is a playboy who owns nightclubs and brothels and did prison time for human trafficking.
posted by boo_radley at 9:22 AM on January 28, 2010


I like how many of his campaign promises are things that governor can't do. The governor can't overturn ballot initiatives. The governor can't overturn a federal prohibition on the devil weed. The governor can't start importing Cuban cigars. The governor can't open the border to let workers in (unless he's talking about workers from Arizona, Nevada and Oregon, but I think those borders are open already).

But the governor can do something about DMV fees and the governor can also promote our weather beaches!

I love how he has his videos of the "mugging" incident and his claims of paternity over Ana Nicole Smith's kid on his website. Classy.
posted by birdherder at 9:25 AM on January 28, 2010


His platform is really no more unrealistic than any of the current gubernatorial candidates that promise fiscal discipline and a balanced budget without hiking taxes or cutting essential programs.
posted by gyc at 9:28 AM on January 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


birdherder: "But the governor can do something about DMV fees and the governor can also promote our weather beaches!"

The candidate that promises to burn every DMV in the state to the ground has my vote. The beaches and weather will do fine promoting themselves.
posted by mullingitover at 9:37 AM on January 28, 2010


Isn't he the same guy who claimed he might be the father of one Anna Nicole-Smith's youngest child? He just likes being singled out for things, doesn't he?
posted by Naberius at 9:42 AM on January 28, 2010


yeeeahh...don't know if it's such a good idea to admit to smuggling on the same page you announce your candidacy.
posted by sexyrobot at 9:50 AM on January 28, 2010



The Germans understand that governership of California is usually held by an American, right?


At least as well as the Austrians.
posted by doctor_negative at 10:18 AM on January 28, 2010


That would make Za Za First Lady of California at 93!
posted by hortense at 10:34 AM on January 28, 2010


I FOR ONE AM SICK OF ALL THESE TWO-BIT EUROPEAN ROYALS TRYING TO DRUG OUR HARDWORKING AMERICANS WITH CALIFORNIA-GROWN MARIJUANA AND FINE WINES.

Sometimes even I can't believe what I'm writing here.
posted by kittyprecious at 10:43 AM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


The first time I read that I thought it said that Zsa Zsa was the Governor of California, and the Prince was running for the position of her 9th husband. (Not that the reality is that much less strange.)
posted by Horace Rumpole at 10:55 AM on January 28, 2010


There are tons of rich people in California. Some of them are smart, thoughtful, and find extremely useful ways to spend their money.

But only douchebags like this get famous for being rich and stupid...thus cementing that douchebaggery stereotype.

DAMN.
posted by hal_c_on at 11:09 AM on January 28, 2010


Why not. Who else is going to want that job?
posted by fourcheesemac at 11:57 AM on January 28, 2010


Wow. Until now I didn't know that Zsa Zsa Gabor was related by marriage to Paris Hilton. Not that I am surprised to learn this fact. It's just so perfect; it's like the inbred scions of the House of Habsburg.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:02 PM on January 28, 2010


I recommend Zsa-Zsa's highly entertaining autobiography, One Lifetime Is Not Enough. The ego! The stories! The suspension of my disbelief! It was very Zsa Zsa, dahlink. Frothy and light and full of catty vignettes and anecdotes of the seemingly unending line of suitors besotted by her. It makes me a little sad she ended up married to this fool.
posted by julen at 4:59 PM on January 28, 2010


Given the option of voting for a German Crown Prince or a lecherous, pot-smoking Austrian bodybuilder who modeled in gay skin mags, worked as a male escort, sold steroids out of his gym, had sex with at least one minor, held a private meeting with Ken Lay of Enron with the goal of instituting energy policies to stick it to the California voters, while leaving Enron unaccountable in their attempts to make billions through fraud, and who had to (quietly) pay millions while serving in office in order to silence libel charges against him for lying about groping a British journalist, well...

Fortunately, we have a choice. Thank you, Governor Moonbeam!
posted by markkraft at 5:09 PM on January 28, 2010


His adopted son Ownes brothels and strip clubs in Germany.
posted by Antidisestablishmentarianist at 8:12 AM on January 29, 2010


Zsa-Zsa's autobio should be on High School reading lists
posted by The Whelk at 8:25 AM on January 29, 2010


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