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January 31, 2010 12:47 PM   Subscribe

Funny. Touching. Intrusive. I wish I could let myself be half as vulnerable as this women. She's a great sport for allowing this site to exist.
posted by grumblebee (178 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite

 
AH! The awkward voyeurism, it BURNSES! IT FREEZES!
posted by Decimask at 12:50 PM on January 31, 2010 [3 favorites]


Along the same lines.
posted by grumblebee at 12:51 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


See a therapist.
posted by billysumday at 12:51 PM on January 31, 2010


Who? The woman because she cries when she's touched? Or me because I am touched by unmasked emotion?
posted by grumblebee at 12:53 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'll have to bookmark this for later. My mom and I are watching Grey Gardens, and this would probably push me past my limit for voyeurism.
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:54 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


Odd way to garner internet fame. I'm not so sure I'd want the unwashed masses staring at my wife crying like that. In fact, hell no.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:55 PM on January 31, 2010


This pushes some weird, dark button of anger and cruelty deep within me.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:55 PM on January 31, 2010 [3 favorites]


thank you grumblebee, that was a loving touching website you've just shared with us
posted by infini at 12:56 PM on January 31, 2010


He's a patronizing prick and by the Back to the Future video she's got a self-satisfied smile as soon as he turns the video camera on. I'm calling bullshit. But they do have cute dogs.
posted by dchrssyr at 12:59 PM on January 31, 2010 [6 favorites]


I would be totally opposed to this if I thought he was doing this to her secretly.
posted by grumblebee at 1:00 PM on January 31, 2010


Whiskey - Tango - Foxtrot.

What is wrong with people?
posted by Floydd at 1:02 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


It was actually an AskMe joke (a poor one). I just think that if someone wrote a post to the green that started "So, I have a problem. Every time I watch a movie, no matter how ridiculous or innocuous, I start crying and lose all composure. I'm not sure why I do it. It's uncontrollable. It's not just sad or emotional movies, but all movies. In fact, Back to the Future II really gets me going. It's to the point where I can't see movies with other people, only my husband. I know that if I go see Sherlock Holmes with a group of friends it'll end up being awkward, because I'll end up crying for ten minutes after the movie and just in general be pretty inconsolable. Is this normal?" If someone posted that to the green I'd bet dollars to donuts that the unanimous reply would be "go see a therapist."

So if anything it was more of a meta-commentary on AskMe than it was on the person in the video and not in any way a comment on you. See, I'm super deep and am like uber-referential and all my jokes work in like eight dimensions. Hamburger and so on.
posted by billysumday at 1:02 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


That made me much more uncomfortable than I expected it would. I couldn't get through more than a minute. Interesting.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 1:05 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


Q. Does she have any deep rooted issues that’s causing these kinds of breakdown?

A. Naw. It would be a concern if she was always like this. She’s not. She just really gets into the characters and the story.


(from faq, written by husband, with wife by his side)

This intense Empathy... it is natural.
posted by infinite intimation at 1:05 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


He's a patronizing prick and by the Back to the Future video she's got a self-satisfied smile as soon as he turns the video camera on. I'm calling bullshit.

Okay, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this was completely fake. And if it was all faked, then their motivations are very odd and suspect. I retract my retraction regarding therapists. If this is all a joke, then I think that's very bizarre.

"Hey AskMe, so, I have a problem. My brother makes these internet videos of his wife fake-crying after movies. They're really manipulative and seem to really get off on all these people sending them emails about how much their videos touch people. Is this normal? What should I say? Why would they do that?"
posted by billysumday at 1:07 PM on January 31, 2010 [4 favorites]



That was weirder than I thought. I couldn't get past 30 seconds of it.
posted by dealing away at 1:08 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


I love the whole

Q: Does your wife have some issues here?
A: Hold on, let me ask her. Nope!
posted by billysumday at 1:10 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


Okay, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this was completely fake.

yeah she isn't even particularly good at it. Not terrible mind you, with a little Method Acting training she can go far, but I am surprised *anyone* thought it was real.
posted by xetere at 1:11 PM on January 31, 2010


The main reason I envy her is this: I don't watch movies to think; I watch them to feel. If a movie makes me laugh or cry, it's gold.

Unfortunately for me, I'm a "sophisticated" viewer. The smallest flaw can ruin it for me. If there's a bit of bad dialog or acting or shoddy photography, I'll start obsessing over it, and that will rob me of the ability to just sink into the story and react to it.

I would like to watch at least one movie a week that affected me this much. As it is, I'm lucky if I see two in a year.

But I can sort of live vicariously through her.
posted by grumblebee at 1:11 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


wat
posted by Burhanistan at 1:12 PM on January 31, 2010


"Hey AskMe, so, I have a problem. My brother makes these internet videos of his wife fake-crying after movies. They're really manipulative and seem to really get off on all these people sending them emails about how much their videos touch people. Is this normal? What should I say? Why would they do that?"

Honestly, I hope these are authentic, but if the situation is as you describe, it wouldn't freak me out all that much. It would just disappoint me. All your scenario means is that they're exhibitionists (they ARE exhibitionists, regardless of whether or not she's faking). So what? The world is full of them. You may find them distasteful, but they're not unusual.
posted by grumblebee at 1:13 PM on January 31, 2010


that was a loving touching website you've just shared with us

I'll go you one better
posted by jonmc at 1:14 PM on January 31, 2010 [4 favorites]


Speaking as someone who has fairly sadistic sexual fantasies, I find that this pushes all my buttons in a very disturbing way.
posted by localroger at 1:15 PM on January 31, 2010 [4 favorites]


If they ever have children, I hope they wake up and stop being such attention whores.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:18 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


Speaking as someone who has fairly sadistic sexual fantasies and lives them out, too I call bullshit on this. The concept just doesn't sound true to me at all.
posted by krautland at 1:19 PM on January 31, 2010


I'm fully willing to admit that this may mean there is something wrong with me, but after watching the first few seconds of the Star Wars one, I rolled my eyes so far back in my head that I gave myself a concussion.

If it is genuine, I'm pretty confident in saying I feel very sorry for this woman. She ain't right.

If it's fake, then bah, whatever.

I say this as someone who is willing to admit that I teared up when Bumblebee got torn in half, and sobbed like a baby in Serenity. But really....she's kind of a nut for crying over Star Wars.
posted by teleri025 at 1:20 PM on January 31, 2010


I just don't see how anyone could possibly get that emotionally involved in 2012.
posted by Huck500 at 1:21 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


Unfortunately for me, I'm a "sophisticated" viewer. The smallest flaw can ruin it for me. If there's a bit of bad dialog or acting or shoddy photography, I'll start obsessing over it, and that will rob me of the ability to just sink into the story and react to it.

and you buy this?!??!
posted by doobiedoo at 1:22 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


Huh. When I cry at movies, it tends to involve tears and at least enough nasal leakage as to be mildly embarrassing, but no howling. Mind you, I could only sit through a couple of these clips, but I saw a whole lot howling with no signs of actual weeping (namely, tears and snot). In the LOTR clip, that paper towel should be soaked, but it looks pretty much the same after she mops up her deluge. Surely these are fake.
posted by Heretic at 1:25 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


oy vey as they say back in calcutta
posted by infini at 1:25 PM on January 31, 2010


krautland, my take on this (assuming it's genuine, which seems possible) is that it is the kind of thing people who think they are normal but have sadomasochistic tendencies do when they haven't figured out the whole sadomasochism thing. There are more private and satisfying ways of getting it out of your system as you appear to know.
posted by localroger at 1:25 PM on January 31, 2010


how on earth do you imagine India manages to sit through bad bollywood stuff? ;p collective hysteria is what ;p
posted by infini at 1:26 PM on January 31, 2010


This is fucking stupid.
posted by c13 at 1:27 PM on January 31, 2010 [4 favorites]


But... she explained the intense tragedy of Darth Vader... in a way that even a lot of fans couldn't describe... the way she described it made me really think about Mr. Vader.. it IS a tragic story.

They have a clear warmth between them (from the minute I watched), and they seem to joke together, yeah, possibly embarrassing, kind of, I guess, but hey, maybe one day will usher in a time when it is not "embarrassing" to cry, and emote with stories, but is a sign of intellect and emotional curiosity... I am not saying that these particular youtube videos are something that one should seek out and "watch"... but the concept of being open enough to be hit by simple stories in such a way... is that really something that is therapy worthy? I only stick up for crying during movies (I don't know about putting 'reactions' on the internet) because I occasionally wonder if eventually we may find that we have 'Therapied' all of the great human emotions out of existence.


"I didn't think I was going to cry, because it was just going to be about a stupid robot..."
-If I had a nickel for every time...
posted by infinite intimation at 1:28 PM on January 31, 2010 [3 favorites]


Man, as I have aged I have turned into a crying machine at movies and TV. I cried when Nateri was introduced in Avatar, because it was all just so beautiful and thinking of those developers who coded up everything and how hard everyone worked to make that beautiful movie. The fox movie channel just had special "making of" on, but that didn't make me cry.

I cried pretty much entirely through Up. That movie was just so touching.

I cry watching the olympics. I used to only well up during the medal ceremonies, thinking of how hard those athletes worked and how proud their countries are of them. I don't watch the medals anymore since I now cry at a good race or performance.

I cried on a rewatch of The Ice Storm just recently. That movie is just sad, though.
posted by frecklefaerie at 1:31 PM on January 31, 2010 [3 favorites]


There's nothing abnormal about crying during a Pixar movie. Those guys are real masters at combining music, shading, plot elements, sympathetic characters, and [proprietary top secret CG empathy ingredient]. Up had me going several times throughout.

But BTTF? Unless you're just crying for your lost time or something, it's forced.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:32 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


OK so I might be a terrible person but her unintelligible explanation of why Marley and Me was sad made me laugh hysterically.
posted by emilyd22222 at 1:33 PM on January 31, 2010


To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women.
posted by Iron Rat at 1:33 PM on January 31, 2010 [4 favorites]


Astro Zombie you gonna just let this dude and his woman stomp all over your Pixar-lovin' lady's turf? Time to THROW DOWN, ASTRO ZOMBIE
posted by Greg Nog at 1:33 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's weird how even though I think this is totally and completely fake, I'm still unable to listen to her for longer than about a minute before I have to stop. That style of crying, gawd, I find it intolerable.
posted by 23skidoo at 1:36 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


>odd way to garner internet fame...

Is there any non-odd way to garner internet fame? I mean, the internet didn't get to be cool by being normal.
posted by mccarty.tim at 1:37 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


i have to say that I didn't see the s&m in this but different strokes
posted by kathrineg at 1:38 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


I think this woman might be on the wrong BCP or something, but I don't find it completely preposterous. I've cried at RIDICULOUS things, and while doing it, I know it's ridiculous... and "sophisiticated viewer!?!?!?" I'm applying for PhDs right now in my field: Critical Studies in Film! Did THAT keep me from bawling when Marge left Homer in The Simpsons Movie? Nope, and I'm glad, too.

Some of you macho dudes should stuff it, I think. Grumblebee's right to be jealous. She's happy because... it FEELS GREAT to have a good cry. Man, I should rent Marley and Me next PMS... but Dog stories aren't my trigger... it's definitely good dads that get me every time. "He just loved his daughter so-ho-haawwwwww-baaaaawwwww-haawwwwww" is what I'll sound like.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:40 PM on January 31, 2010 [7 favorites]


katherineg, if you don't see the S&M in videotaping someone in a very vulnerable emotional state and putting it on YouTube for strangers to laugh at, I'd guess you've also never made your wife pay for the riding crop at the feed store.

Well, WHAT?
posted by localroger at 1:41 PM on January 31, 2010 [8 favorites]


CRYING WIFE IS THE NEW BALLOON BABY
posted by naju at 1:42 PM on January 31, 2010


> I'm not so sure I'd want the unwashed masses staring at my wife crying like that. In fact, hell no.

What.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:42 PM on January 31, 2010


What about that was hard to understand?
posted by Burhanistan at 1:43 PM on January 31, 2010


If you think crying is embarassing, you have a lot of embarassment left to experience, I figure.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:44 PM on January 31, 2010 [6 favorites]


Fake....WTF...bttfuture....really????
posted by HuronBob at 1:46 PM on January 31, 2010


> What about that was hard to understand?

Oh, well, the sentiment that you should feel something on behalf of your wife's experience of visibility.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:46 PM on January 31, 2010


You're so weird for not wanting to videotape your spouse crying and then spend the time and energy to create an entire site that was comprised completely of videos of your wife sobbing so that everybody in the world can see those videos on the internet! Freako! Get away from me!!
posted by billysumday at 1:46 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


Unfortunately for me, I'm a "sophisticated" viewer. The smallest flaw can ruin it for me.

If one moment of bad dialogue, or bad acting, can ruin an other wise good move you're not a 'sophisticated' viewer; you're anal retentive.
posted by Dennis Murphy at 1:48 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


It doesn't happen to me OFTEN, like grumblebee said... but I have to say that I agree, if it IS a real reaction... yes, I think I'd envy her.

I can see how BTTF could set off 'motions... (it doesn't set off intense feelings to me... but I can see how it could.) (Martys best friend and only friend who helped him through 50 years of crazy bended time...DOC, could DIE!!!)

We are the sum of our existence, not just some elemental part, defined by some singular event; who of us can know what memory will be triggered by what sensory experience... and surely we all have not had the same existence, so we will have different things triggering different things at different times, and in different ways... we have decades of life experiences telling us what those charachters may be feeling... some people can imagine more than others. This is a feature in humanity, not a bug.

I found marley and me to be not a particularly great movie, annoying at times, cliched, typical pulp etc etc... but the end, yeah, it kicked me in the heart bone. It wasn't a "sad" movie, or even necessarily a good all around movie... but that doesn't mean that some little event of even visual image couldn't cause an emote.
I wish I were better at getting past the things grumblebee describes as being a block to feeling emotional impact, even when we know that the 'charachters' we are coming to love aren't real, and aren't feeling the feelings that we are projecting upon them. Read a great book, find me, and then tell me that it doesn't make you sad that the time you have spent with those characters, learning new things, is at an end.
posted by infinite intimation at 1:49 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


Movies that have unexpectedly made me lose my shit:

- Ice Age
- Avatar
- Crash
posted by chara at 1:51 PM on January 31, 2010


Ambrosia Voyeur: I have one thing to say to you. Heroes, Season 1, Episode 17.

Also, I don't howl like that woman, but I cry at almost everything I watch or read that's the least bit touching. Even stuff I hate.
posted by missrachael at 1:52 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


This guy's other sites are:
-An unfunny fake website for fried chicken franchise featuring some casual racism
-A single-page Smiley Face
-A secular-looking front for ninjas4christ.com that tries to recruit souls for Jesus by riding the coattails of the ninjas/pirates/zombies/robots meme complex
posted by contraption at 1:52 PM on January 31, 2010


In the future, everybody gets punked by some guy on the internet who wants to be famous.
posted by billysumday at 1:57 PM on January 31, 2010


Okay, watched 4 videos. For the amount of whining and sniffling I see very few tears. I would have immediately thought this was fake. In fact, the only thing pointing to any chance of it being real is how awfully faked they seem to be.

I was pretty good at this method when I was a child and thought a spanking was coming.
posted by Dennis Murphy at 1:57 PM on January 31, 2010


I do this. Not that loud or for that long, but movies designed to make me cry invariably make me cry like absolutely nothing else. Not even deaths in the family have made me cry like UP or Forest Gump or A.I.

This is the saddest/happiest short film i've ever seen and it just destroys me. I can't even watch it anymore. Go ahead. Watch.
posted by TheGoldenOne at 1:57 PM on January 31, 2010 [7 favorites]


I'm surprised how many people think that it has to be fake. Yes, it could be fake, but it could be real.

Do you remember James Brady, who was shot in the head during the Reagan assassination attempt? Afterwards just about everything made him cry. It made his public speaking a little awkward.

And have you read The Oddessy by Homer. The crew were regular bad-asses, taking on monsters and Gods. Yet after every battle they all got together and bawled their heads off.

I think there is too much emotional detachment, and not enough crying these days.
posted by eye of newt at 1:58 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


I also startle easily. I think it's some kind of femme-mother instinct thing, so I shoot guns to try and unlearn it, but anywho, talk about embarrassing... TA for a horror class in college and I'm jumping and screaming in Carrie?? Fuck, dude. Haven't you SEEN this already? hehee
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:58 PM on January 31, 2010


No comments on the fact that their dogs are named n00b and ROFL?
posted by desjardins at 1:58 PM on January 31, 2010


I myself have been known to cry inappropriately at movies. (This is much more likely if the movie is enhanced with at least 500 ml of 80 proof alcohol.) That's not so unusual. What is weird about this is that some effort is put into turning it into what looks to me like a ritual public humiliation. And obviously the submissive partnerwife is in on it. I'm not knocking them for having fun, but the part of me that outgrew the public sex thrill ride thing 20+ years ago wants to say, buy a riding crop and get a room. That's all.
posted by localroger at 1:59 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's probably fake. If it's real, maybe he figured that recording these over the top crying java and making a website would amuse him enough to quell the annoyance. If it were my wife, we'd have to either ban mutual movie watching or contact our respective attorneys to draw up the divorce agreement. Wow, this would get under my skin in a hurry.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 2:00 PM on January 31, 2010


riding the coattails of the ninjas/pirates/zombies/robots meme complex

Ugh, the bio/about page on the crying site was bad enough in terms of "Okay, I like a meme as much as the next guy, but dude you are trying way too fucking hard."
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 2:02 PM on January 31, 2010


and you buy this?!??!

Yes. Most things can be faked, so maybe I've been duped. And it's possibly based in real tears but pushed for the camera. My gut tells me it's true. If I'm forced to analyze what makes me think it's true, I'd say it's (a) the sound of the snot clogging her nose, which is really hard to fake (though maybe she has a cold). I've seen many actors try to do it. They sniff and snort, but you don't head that gurgling sound, which only real snot can make. (b) The tears. (c) The many times she smiles in the middle of crying. Real crying people do this a lot, especially when they know they're crying over something "trivial." But fake criers rarely think to do it.

If one moment of bad dialogue, or bad acting, can ruin an other wise good move you're not a 'sophisticated' viewer; you're anal retentive.

I'll accept that. On the other hand, would you say that about someone who was obsessed with poetry. If he told you a poem was ruined for him because some of the meter was off -- or because the poet had incorrectly used a word -- would you call this person anal?

I AM anal. I am also a director and a life-long movie fanatic. I don't really see the difference between "anal retentive" and "connoisseur." One is just an insulting name for the other.
posted by grumblebee at 2:03 PM on January 31, 2010 [3 favorites]


I sobbed like a little girl with a skinned knee at the end of Finding Nemo, where they're reunited.

...I still tear up even now.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:03 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


I wonder how hard she would cry if she saw 'Grave of the Fireflies'.
posted by thermonuclear.jive.turkey at 2:04 PM on January 31, 2010 [3 favorites]


Yeah, I cry during all sorts of stuff that my wife thinks is very strange. Basically despite my rational mind, I'm easily subject to simple emotional cues, so things like the music/setting can trigger it even if rationally I'm like "oh they're totally manipulating me" (things that are finely crafted to make people cry, like Titanic, hit me pretty hard). Hell, some commercials do it. But for me it's more of a sudden emotional swing and some tearing up, not full blow sobbing/howling or whatever.
posted by wildcrdj at 2:04 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm surprised how many people think that it has to be fake. Yes, it could be fake, but it could be real.

Do you remember James Brady, who was shot in the head during the Reagan assassination attempt? Afterwards just about everything made him cry. It made his public speaking a little awkward.

And have you read The Oddessy by Homer. The crew were regular bad-asses, taking on monsters and Gods. Yet after every battle they all got together and bawled their heads off.


If your two best examples of people who cry alot are 1) a guy who got shot in the head, and 2) characters in a work of fiction, I'm afraid I'm not any closer to believing this woman isn't being a big old faker.
posted by 23skidoo at 2:05 PM on January 31, 2010 [6 favorites]


I cry at Rocky and Rudy, but they're movies about sports so it's allowed.
posted by jonmc at 2:05 PM on January 31, 2010


I also tear up at the end of that Simpsons episode where Krusty and his father reconcile so maybe I just have a thing for reuniting families, I dunno.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:07 PM on January 31, 2010


This is almost as unwatchable as Episode I.
posted by Shohn at 2:08 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


Wow. Just wow.
posted by madajb at 2:08 PM on January 31, 2010


Unfortunately for me, I'm a "sophisticated" viewer.

THIS. I only cry at Fellini and Bergman films.
posted by naju at 2:09 PM on January 31, 2010


I do have to admit that I find that I'm much more susceptible to crying at sappy movies or commercials or tv shows as I get older. It used to be a real chore for me to find purgative emotional release. In the past few years, say, around 38 or 39 (I'm 42 now), I find that I tear up quite easily at things I watch or music that I listen to. It's something I sometimes run with, and something I sometimes pull back from. In a lot of ways, it's felt more healthy for me to be able to find that cathartic trigger more easily.

I'm glad I don't cry at just EVERYTHING, however. That would be tiresome AND wearying, I think.
posted by hippybear at 2:10 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


So is this site at all related to this comment from 2008 about Wall-E?
posted by jourman2 at 2:12 PM on January 31, 2010


real or not, i suggested Dr. Zhivago.
posted by TrialByMedia at 2:19 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


jourman2 / Astro Zombie -- wow. Just wow.
posted by localroger at 2:20 PM on January 31, 2010


If they ever have children, I hope they wake up and stop being such attention whores.
Theater majors don't really breed much...so I think we're all set.

posted by hal_c_on at 2:23 PM on January 31, 2010


I like Fellini and Bergman, but I also like "popcorn" movies. What I demand of ALL movies is that they are made with care -- that each facet of the movie is crafted with the finest artistry the makers can muster.

As dumb as many people think this is, I have this expectation of a zombie flick, a romantic comedy or an action movie to exactly the same extent that I do of an "art house" film. (By "expectation," I don't mean I think that the genre movie is just as likely to be made with extreme care and artistry. I mean that I WANT it to be so.)

I LOVE genre stories: mysteries, sci-fi tales, fantasy tales, westerns, etc. It pisses me off that the Bergmans and Fellinis of the world are largely uninterested in telling these kinds of stories. You get a few master-craftsmen, like Kubrick, who are willing to "get their hands dirty" in the genre sandbox. But they are few and far between.

The same is true when it comes to literature. It's very hard to find the Jane Austens of sci-fi and the F. Scott Fitzgeralds of westerns. Master craftsmen tend to be snobbish about melodramas and genre stories.

In my view, there is absolutely no type of story that is superior to another type. If a fantasy novel is based on a story-form that is just as valuable as the story-form behind "The Great Gatsby," why shouldn't it be told with just as much care and artistry?

There is not fine-art and low-art in my book. There are just well-told stories and poorly-told ones.

The line between high art and genre is beginning to blur, thanks to producers like HBO. But the trend needs to go much farther. I look forward (without very high hopes) to a day when no one says, "Come on. It's just a sitcom. What do you expect?" or "Come on. It's a CHILDREN'S movie for Christ's sake!"

Make. Things. Well.
posted by grumblebee at 2:23 PM on January 31, 2010 [4 favorites]


Yeah, right after I posted that I looked at who posted that comment and realized that's probably not the case...
posted by jourman2 at 2:23 PM on January 31, 2010


Just think, this might be the humble beginnings of the CILF video meme.
posted by 445supermag at 2:24 PM on January 31, 2010


I cry exactly like this woman. Immediately upon hearing her voice I choked up and my eyes started tingling. And I'm, like, a dude.

I cry often in movies (and rarely elsewhere) but the last time I completely lost it - totally bewilderingly - was at the end of Red Dragon. I was just sitting there, watching it, and suddenly I was clutching a pillow and bawling. I couldn't even remember the characters' names. I was just whimpering, "no edward norton, no please get up! you have to get up edward norton! run awaaaaaay edward norton!!!" The movie kind of sucked but for some reason I lost my marbles at the end of it.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 2:25 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


I get sniffly over all kinds of stuff, and it does feel pretty good (although sometimes I am embarrassed afterward over how much of a sucker I am). This AskMe is a pretty good source of material. The last thing I lost my shit over was this xkcd comic from the other day.

These videos were pretty uncomfortable to watch, though. :/
posted by bewilderbeast at 2:26 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


Do you remember James Brady, who was shot in the head during the Reagan assassination attempt? Afterwards just about everything made him cry. It made his public speaking a little awkward.

Using the example of a man who suffered brain damage as a result of a nearly fatal gunshot wound does not bolster your argument that this is just an example of someone who happens to be in better touch with her feelings than the rest of us hard-hearted jerks who refrained from having a psychotic break at the end of Back to the Future.
posted by scody at 2:28 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


I think for fairness's sake she should videotape the husband while he watches the end of The Iron Giant. No man can sit through that without some tears.
posted by Space Coyote at 2:29 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'm sure glad the YouTubes weren't around when I first watched Scarface.
posted by jimmythefish at 2:33 PM on January 31, 2010


bewilderbeast -- I can see the tug of that xkcd comic, but they seriously didn't get what the rovers are about. I saw them more like the First 100 from Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars trilogy -- they knew they were never coming back. What would draw a tear from me is the future where it's become so cheap to travel to Mars that they bring Spirit back and install her in the Smithsonian so that people can properly admire the machine that told us so much about another world.
posted by localroger at 2:35 PM on January 31, 2010 [3 favorites]


Oh, well, the sentiment that you should feel something on behalf of your wife's experience of visibility.

That's an odd projection on your part. I don't want the people on YouTube making comments about my wife crying. Anyway. Project away.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:36 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


I usually detect that I'm coming down with something (like a cold or the flu) when I get unusually emotionally involved in the movies I watch. Somehow fighting a disease seems to lower my emotional defenses, and I tear up at the drop of a hat...

As to the linked site, I could not watch beyond the first few seconds of the Star Wars video. I hate to see women crying, and even listening to clearly arranged / artificial sobs (like in Nick Cave's The Kindness of Strangers) gives me knots in my stomach.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 2:36 PM on January 31, 2010


Awww. I wanted to give her a cuddle.

who of us can know what memory will be triggered by what sensory experience...

A year or so ago I was reading Cute Overload and there was a post about a bunny (like about half their posts are). I suddenly lost it, and bawled my head off for the whole morning (and couldn't even stop when I got to work).

A few years ago I had a pet bunny, Miffy, who I had for a short while before having to return him to our family friend/rabbit breeder as I was going away for uni. Some time later I found out that all her rabbits had been stolen and I never knew what happened to Miffy since.

I don't know if it was a long-delayed grieving, but man I was upset. I missed Miffy. He was cool. He was good company during some hellish school months.

I called my mum that morning and she didn't buy it. "You can't possibly be upset about a rabbit you haven't seen for FIVE YEARS. Surely something else is up." No. I genuinely was crying over a bunny.

I miss Miffy :(
posted by divabat at 2:38 PM on January 31, 2010 [5 favorites]


Oh my God! The Mars Rovers! I have totally come to think of them as living creatures. I don't even fight it any more.
posted by grumblebee at 2:39 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


Crying Wife For Dummies

Film finishes

Wife: EEEEEEEEEDIDTHEKINGKONGMAKEITBACKTOTHEISLAND?

Husband: No sweetie, no, he’s dead, King Kong is dead.

Wife: EEEEEEEEEEEEEBUTALLHEWANTEDTODOISDANCEWITHHERONTHELAKE!

Husband: I know baby, it’s okay, but he got his face machine-gunned off by the guys in the biplanes, remember? And then he fell of the building?

Wife: HEWASJUSTABIGMONKEYHEJUSTWANTEDSOMEBANANAS!

Husband: There are no bananas at the top of the Empire State honey.

Wife: THERECOULDHAVEBEENANDHEJUSTWANTEDTOGETSOMEANDGIVETHEMTOHERAND- *rest muffled by pillow*

Husband: I know sweetie, shhh.

Wife: THATWASAHORRIBLEFILMIHATEYOUWHYDIDYOUSHOWITTOME?

Husband: It’s for my website darling, you know that.

Wife: I’LLPRETENDTOBEAGOODSPORTFORALITTLELONGERBUTIAMGOINGTOMURD-*muffled by pillow*

Husband: Look what’s next sweetheart! Watership Down!
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:39 PM on January 31, 2010 [11 favorites]


she has the same first name with the same odd spelling as me.

i find this... disturbing but unsurprising.
posted by hollisimo at 2:45 PM on January 31, 2010


Oh my God! The Mars Rovers! I have totally come to think of them as living creatures. I don't even fight it any more.

Duet On Mars - by John Updike
Said Spirit to Opportunity, 
   “I’m feeling rather frail, 
With too much in my memory, 
   Plus barrels of e-mail.” 
Responded Opportunity, 
   “My bounce was not so bad, 
But now they send me out to see 
   These dreary rocks, bedad!” 
“It’s cold up here, and rather red,” 
   Sighed Spirit. “I feel faint.” 
Good Opportunity then said, 
   “Crawl on, without complaint! 
“This planet needs our shovels’ bite 
   And treadmarks in the dust 
To tell if life and hematite 
   Pervade its arid crust.” 
“There’s life, by all the stars above, 
   On Mars—it’s you and I!” 
Blithe Spirit cried. “Let’s rove, my love, 
   And meet before we die!”

posted by hippybear at 2:50 PM on January 31, 2010 [4 favorites]


If you think crying is embarassing, you have a lot of embarassment left to experience, I figure.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:44 PM on January 31 [4 favorites +]


Oh it could be that, assuming it's legit, building a site for videos of your spouse's propensity for crying at movies for no discernable reason seems pretty exploitative and not a little skeevy. I really do think framing and dismissing peoples' discomfort with this as wannabe-toughie bullshit posturing is in its own way, wannabe-toughie bullshit posturing.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 2:52 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


Wife: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBUTWHATIFTHEIRCARSWERENEITHERFASTNORFURIOUS
posted by 23skidoo at 2:52 PM on January 31, 2010 [3 favorites]


Ya, creepy. Not so much the whimpering but the constantly prodding husband, egging her on for his website.

Also:
Q. Is your wife insane?
A. Only 4 days out of the month ;-)


Ha! Women, right?
posted by chococat at 2:55 PM on January 31, 2010 [5 favorites]


I really do think framing and dismissing peoples' discomfort with this as wannabe-toughie bullshit posturing is in its own way, wannabe-toughie bullshit posturing.

Yeah, saying that I have a lot left in life to experience because I don't want to have a collection of videos of my wife bawling hysterically to lame movies for the internet jackals to pick apart seems more like a pointed personal attack than any valid point.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:59 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


Duet On Mars - by John Updike

Wow. I'd never seen this before. Thanks!
posted by grumblebee at 3:02 PM on January 31, 2010


I sometimes cry without tears, so I don't think that's a very good sign of fakery. In fact, I had to have punctal plugs inserted in my eyes at one point, because though I was producing tears, they were all draining into my sinuses.

I don't even think a lack of tears is a sign of bad acting. Have you ever seen Emma Thompson in "Howard's End" after he breaks off the engagement and she collapses in front of the mirror? She cries, but there are no tears running down her face, and it's one of the most effective scenes I've ever seen.
posted by Evangeline at 3:04 PM on January 31, 2010


localroger: "What is weird about this is that some effort is put into turning it into what looks to me like a ritual public humiliation."

I don't find it particularly humiliating. But it seems to be dead or dying now, so I guess I can't go back and check again.

(Besides, if they were inclined to get a riding crop and a hotel room, you know they'd post that too)
posted by kathrineg at 3:07 PM on January 31, 2010


I don't know what's weirder, these videos, or the people who say they're touched by them.
posted by toekneebullard at 3:08 PM on January 31, 2010


I saw the starwars one a while ago and it seemed real. I dunno, maybe now that they have a website they started faking 'em. Who knows.
posted by delmoi at 3:09 PM on January 31, 2010


I don't know what's weirder, these videos, or the people who say they're touched by them.

There's definitely a current of MORE EMPATHETIC THAN THOU going on here.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:09 PM on January 31, 2010


I'm wondering how many people here -- the ones who think it's fake -- think it's fake because of the way she is crying vs. how many think it's fake due to what she's crying about ("No one could possible cry during 'Back to the Future.' Come ON!")

I have some sympathy for the former. The crying seems real to me, but someone else may look for different tricks and traits.

But I have no time for the latter. If your gauge of real vs. fake crying is what the person is crying about, then you are just showing that you have no understanding of the way people differ from you. Even if it this particular woman is faking, I have no trouble believing that someone out there is crying while they watch "Back to the Future."

And I say that as someone who has nothing but scorn for that movie. I also hate the "Star Wars" and "Lord of the Rings" movies. (I think "A.I" is deeply flawed, though some scenes it in did move me.) I haven't seen the other movies.

I can't see how anyone would get emotional over "Star Wars." To me, it's silly, poorly-made junk.

But I'm WRONG. Tons of people love it and get very emotional it. Not. Every. One. Is. Like. Me.
posted by grumblebee at 3:13 PM on January 31, 2010


I'm wondering how many people here -- the ones who think it's fake -- think it's fake because of the way she is crying vs. how many think it's fake due to what she's crying about

Because of the way she's crying.
posted by billysumday at 3:17 PM on January 31, 2010


> If you think crying is embarassing, you have a lot of embarassment left to experience, I figure.

I wasn't directly addressing anyone with this comment, Burhanistan. If you read it as such, that is a strange projection.

I really don't think crying should be viewed as something shameful, and think it's a pity that it is. As a person who, like the woman in the video, cries relatively often and publicly, I sympathize with her as being misunderstood as being in some kind of crisis, and, like her as far as we can tell, I find the experience comical rather than shameful. I like to share the fact that I cried at The Simpsons Movie and Christina Aguilera: Behind The Music both because it helps to position this culturally fraught expression of emotion in a less dramatic light.

Furthermore, there's a lot of troubling gender and age biases that play into the judgment of people who cry as being weak or insensible. Lots of the discussion here is treating that subject. So, it struck me as squicky that Burhanistan, for example, would ally himself with the man and not the woman in the videos, since it possibly implied that this gender distinction has topical relevance, and that men should be embarrassed because of behaviors of women which may be unsuitable for public display. Yes, I may be projecting a lot on that simple gender affiliation, but I react strongly to people expressing shame on the behalf of others, generally. I find it repressive.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:20 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


> saying that I have a lot left in life to experience because I don't want to have a collection of videos of my wife bawling hysterically to lame movies for the internet jackals to pick apart seems more like a pointed personal attack

To be clear, if you're trying to address me, here, you need to do some work on reading for content.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:21 PM on January 31, 2010


I wasn't directly addressing anyone with this comment, Burhanistan. If you read it as such, that is a strange projection.


That's somewhat disingenuous to me given that it was sandwiched between your "what" comment quoting my comment, then then the other response. It's not at all strange to see how I could conclude that. Anyway, I don't wish for back and forth, so let's consider the matter assuaged.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:23 PM on January 31, 2010


The only way to determine if this is real or not is Lars Von Trier's Breaking The Waves. If she's not carted of to an institution afterwards, then the whole thing's a sham.

I tend to be 75% more likely to cry when watching a movie on an airplane. Which is not helped by the fact that airplane movies always tend to be crappy romantic comedies that I would otherwise never watch. It's even worse if I'm watching a movie that I already like and connect to. My last trip to Japan, I decided to load the laptop up with an all animation movie playlist.

Bad idea.

Monsters, Inc. made me feel all warm and fuzzy, as it always does. (Possibly the most underrated Pixar movie). I moved on to Lilo & Stitch, and I was good right up until the end. Stitch makes his "This is my family" in his funny little alien voice and here come the waterworks. And then I realize that it's pretty much a re-telling of E.T. which is not good, because E.T. is the one movie that'll get me going like no other. Just the thought of it at that moment pushed me over the edge from silent lip quivering with tears to full on sobbing. I had to go to the bathroom for about 10 minutes to compose myself. I come back to my seat, and now I can't watch any of the other movies I brought with me... Finding Nemo, Dumbo, The Iron Giant. A minefield of emotional inappropriateness.

So I turn to the in flight entertainment options... Slumdog Millionaire? Why not? I heard that was good. It's a comedy about Indian gameshows or something, right?

Wrong. I make it about 10 minutes in, and I'm done for. I'm not even fighting it at this point. I just zipped up my hoodie, hid my face behind a pillow and wept uncontrollably for the next 90 minutes.

And then I slept like a fucking baby. It was awesome.
posted by billyfleetwood at 3:24 PM on January 31, 2010 [5 favorites]


These are weird. What I watched of them, anyway. I don't care if she's in on it -- it's exploitative and not sweet (and I stopped watching the Back to the Future III one when he panned over to his asshole-smiling face).

I think it's quite possible she had a tendency to cry at movie and they thought it would be hilarious to make a Web site about that. There definitely seems to be some drama/fakery with some of them.

And look, I cry at movies. I refuse to watch Grave of the Fireflies ever again. Iron Giant made me bawl. There's a scene in Taste of Tea I'd cry about whenever I'd think of it. And I've been misty-eyed at episodes of Buffy. I also cry over photos of cute animals.

So yeah. There's something kind of off about this site. I don't know if it's out-right fake, but it's bizarre and uncomfortable.
posted by darksong at 3:26 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


divabat: flagged as :(
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:26 PM on January 31, 2010


Can we turn off the internet now?
posted by meadowlark lime at 3:28 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


So, it struck me as squicky that Burhanistan, for example, would ally himself with the man and not the woman in the videos, since it possibly implied that this gender distinction has topical relevance, and that men should be embarrassed because of behaviors of women which may be unsuitable for public display. Yes, I may be projecting a lot on that simple gender affiliation, but I react strongly to people expressing shame on the behalf of others, generally. I find it repressive.

He didn't align himself with the man in the video, he contrasted the actions of the man in the video with the actions he would have taken. It was the man here who was the actor, the agent - it was he who videotaped and uploaded the videos. Of course if the woman was videotaping herself and uploading the videos that would be a whole 'nother ball of wax.

I find it odd that you're seemingly more angered by Burhanistan's comment than by the actions of the man who posted the videos - in the first video she won't show her face at all, presumably because she's ashamed. You don't think there was a bit of cajoling on the part of the hubby to put the videos up? You think she was just like "Great idea!! Love it A+++!!"? I guess I react strongly to people who exploit the shame of others.

You may think it's "squicky" that men should be embarrassed because of behaviors of women or whatever, and good job knocking down that strawman, but I think it's squicky that this dude is posting videos of his wife to the internet in which she's bawling and he's giggling like a madman. And if they're fake, then they're even squickier, because they're toying with people and think that's funny.

Squicky.
posted by billysumday at 3:32 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's not that I think the crying isn't real. I just don't believe she's real.
posted by hermitosis at 3:33 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


When she talks while crying, she sounds like Beaker from the Muppets.
posted by bwg at 3:35 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: this post makes me cry
posted by bwg at 3:36 PM on January 31, 2010


I cry at Rocky and Rudy, but they're movies about sports so it's allowed.

Oh God, Rudy ... *sniff* ... best guy movie ... ever. *sniff*
posted by bwg at 3:38 PM on January 31, 2010


It's not an empathy competition, does it stifle people being more open and proud of achieving usage of that particular gift to make it something that not to be proudly expressed.

Some people go through life experiencing it silently, and privately.
Others have physical responses to emotional stimuli....

So then we just come back to
Not everyone, is. like, me. :)
Also, I would suggest to people seeing this as sexual, that not all tears are the same... tears are not to be exchanged on a free market of tears (except the goldstandard of unicorn tears, those are worth the same no matter where you go.)

Shirley we can agree that people above have described that they do cry like her. So how someone cry's isn't at issue either.
Seems the only issue is that this guy should have left it at a slyt, or a post on a blog, he made a whole site devoted to it, and seems to fight hard to draw modern memes into his internet activity. Seems to me that there's more than a zero sum of people who are reading a subtext that this is porn, or that this supremely shames this woman... how does it do this?? Again, not all tears are the same tears. (*see happy tears, joy tears, aww cute animal tears, sad tears, and lost a family relative tears) these various tears are not the same... this guy didn't film his wife after her family member died... they were watching MOVIES together... Movies.
on a sliding scale of tears...
These are harmless tears.
No people were harmed in the making of this internets tears.

This thread is cool however because it has reminded me to consider how Emotionally strong our modern media really are.

Sounds, tuned for emotion, whistle's of wind, stereo effects to tell us which side of "us" the person talking is... we are not just audience, but witnesses.
While people (who are people, just like us), act on screen... carefully scripted, directed, and told exactly how to move... all with the intent of conveying the emotion of a script that exists both on paper, and in the mind of the original writer.


It's not simply "this" link that is causing people to praise empathy, or other expression of emotion... why should people have to be negative about empathy, or be afraid to show and express it... no one wants to be more empathier than thou to anyone... just plainly people are liking the concept of empathy. (this video is not where I am going to get my dose of empathy, as I said, books do that best (for me anyway).
posted by infinite intimation at 3:46 PM on January 31, 2010


The Golden One, I'll see your Kiwi and raise you a Pingwin. Heartcrushing.

I can't handle movies where you're told a beautiful happy ever after story, and you know the story is a lie, but you just want it to happen so badly that when they reveal that it was just that, a story, and not how things ended, it crushes you. I cry every time. For your consideration, The 25th Hour, The Heisei Tanuki War (also known as Pom Poko), and the worst, Big Fish. Mind you, Big Fish is possibly my favorite movie ever, but I can't watch it.

Last weekend, I stupidly watched Field of Dreams, not connecting it with my father passing away last year. I was non-functional for most of the day afterwards.
posted by Ghidorah at 3:57 PM on January 31, 2010


katherineg: Besides, if they were inclined to get a riding crop and a hotel room, you know they'd post that too

Well it would be more interesting, and flagged appropriately.
posted by localroger at 4:06 PM on January 31, 2010




Do you remember James Brady

Using the example of a man who suffered brain damage as a result of a nearly fatal gunshot wound does not bolster your argumen
t--scody

Admittedly not the most reasoned argument. In my mind I was thinking of how the brain damage brought to the surface something innate in all of us, but I'll stop now before I dig the hole even deeper.
posted by eye of newt at 4:12 PM on January 31, 2010


OK so what is it with the penguin and kiwi vids? I can't fly either nor did the gods give me any hope that I might flap my arms and pull it off. While I do cry about a lot of stuff somehow that never made the list.
posted by localroger at 4:14 PM on January 31, 2010


If your gauge of real vs. fake crying is what the person is crying about, then you are just showing that you have no understanding of the way people differ from you. Even if it this particular woman is faking, I have no trouble believing that someone out there is crying while they watch "Back to the Future."

Are you prepared to invoke some sort of Rule 34 of Crying and tell me that there is no movie that you cannot imagine someone crying at the end of? Because unless you can imagine someone crying at the end of EVERY movie ever made, then I hate to break it to you, but you are exactly like those of us who think that crying about BttF implies that this is fake.

Seriously? Crying at the end of "Dude Where's My Car?" Or "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion?" Intensely wailing at the end of "Monkeybone" wouldn't seem at all weird to you?
posted by 23skidoo at 4:14 PM on January 31, 2010


If this were me crying at everything, I think there would come a time when I just thought it was sort of funny. And I wouldn't really mind my partner mocking it, or even putting it on the internet.

People have said this might be fake, but I don't believe that and I don't really care. It's a story of a wife who crys at everything, and as long as she's OK with these videos being on the internet, I can't see anything weird in it.

People are different, and as long as it's not getting in the way of stuff or making yourself or others unhappy - it's OK. Jeez - You'd think from some of the comments in this thread that the people in the videos are deviant monsters.

Although grumblebee, I am a squicked out by your heading.

I wish I could let myself be half as vulnerable as this women.
That feels a bit weird. You're assuming vulnerability and making it into some strange desire that you want. I can't put my finger on what you're saying wrong here, but dude, *shudder*.

She's a great sport for allowing this site to exist.
You don't know her well enough to make this judgement. And you're assuming that she doen't want it to be on the internet, but she's sport enough to *allow* her husband to put it on there.
posted by seanyboy at 4:17 PM on January 31, 2010


Surely this is the Best of the Web.
posted by Nabubrush at 4:19 PM on January 31, 2010


Gattaca really flattened me emotionally--I must have cried off and on for a couple hours after seeing it. In the Mood for Love and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon make me cry every time.
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 4:23 PM on January 31, 2010


This is somebody's fetish.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:28 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


This could easily be fake, but I like to think it's a testament to how powerful medium film really is - when you mix so many elements up into the right blend, the effect can be overwhelming to even the least likely people. At least that's what I tell myself when I remember the time when I was 8, and Rain Man made me cry.

*sniff*...Funny little rain man...
posted by Toby Dammit X at 4:31 PM on January 31, 2010


Monsters, Inc. made me feel all warm and fuzzy, as it always does. (Possibly the most underrated Pixar movie). I moved on to Lilo & Stitch, and I was good right up until the end. Stitch makes his "This is my family" in his funny little alien voice and here come the waterworks.

Okay, for starters, A Bug's Life is the most underrated Pixar film.

But after that, have you ever noticed how entirely SIMILAR Monsters, Inc and Lilo & Stitch are? I swear, at some point, someone pitched a basic story to both Disney and Pixar which was "blue furry monster which should be scary befriends a young girl and they learn lessons of family and belonging together." It's like, they even have similar one-eyed green sidekick monsters. I've never been able to disengage the similarities of these two films -- the coincidences are just too much. If there was no cross-pollination going on, then someone was feeding the same chemical into each company's water supply during the development of these films.
posted by hippybear at 4:34 PM on January 31, 2010


So: anybody else think she's high? Or drunk? Because that's pretty much how I would have reacted if I'd watched Episode 6 for the first time as an adult while also drunk.

I snuck a pint of rum into Finding Nemo in college and I bawled, the way an adult (well, 22 year old) should never bawl in a public place — weeping, racked with sobs, helpless, regressed to a psychological vertex wherein I was internally reliving childhood struggles and issues and crises and actually coming to what might be described as "terms" with them, truly, there in the dark in the theater, one of my friends next to me, also weeping, almost unable to keep her eyes open — and to be honest I think I'm better for it.
posted by penduluum at 5:11 PM on January 31, 2010 [3 favorites]


This is either exploitative bullshit or just bullshit
posted by tehloki at 5:20 PM on January 31, 2010


My soon-to-be wife cries often at Happy/Sad Movie/TV show endings...I think these are totally believable. Over Xmas break we watched Up for the first time ever and Katy cried so hard in the first twenty minutes that she passed out...she wasn't able to finish the movie until the third viewing. While we were at her parents house she wanted them to watch the movie (fourth viewing for her) but most of her family ended up laughing at how distraught she was. Katy was also laughing through her tears about the fact that she'd seen that part of the movie four times now and it really shouldn't effect her so much anymore. She still laughs about it and recounts the story to total strangers sometimes when the story of Up is discussed.

To sum up for the TL;DR crowd, I think the people that doubt the "realness" of this site are haterz and/or unfeeling emotional shells that drank too much haterade. [hamburger]

My gut feeling is that this person legitimately doesn't mind that videos of her crying about movies are on the internet and that her emotions are real. I mean, big F-ing deal.
posted by schyler523 at 5:52 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


I wish I could let myself be half as vulnerable as this women.

That feels a bit weird. You're assuming vulnerability and making it into some strange desire that you want. I can't put my finger on what you're saying wrong here, but dude, *shudder*.


I wish you could explain a little better.

Maybe I should explain what I meant:

Some people are able to easily show their feelings -- to let their feelings bubble to the surface. That's all I mean by vulnerable. Maybe the word means something else to you. Maybe you think I'm misusing the word. Regardless, that's how I meant the word. Nothing more; nothing less.

Other people -- people like me -- are walled up, repressed, suppressed... we have a very hard time letting our feelings out.

My belief is that the way I am is bad and the way that woman is -- even if she's over-the-top -- is better. My pent-up nature makes me physically ill. I bet she doesn't spend half of her life walking around with a stomach ache. And so I envy her.

And -- since I dearly, dearly, dearly love movies -- I envy her ability to be more moved by them than I am.

If that's how you understood what I said, I'm not sure why it made you shudder.
posted by grumblebee at 6:23 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


I envy her ability to be more moved by them than I am.

I would submit to you that amplitude of emotional expression is not necessarily the same as depth of feeling. Perhaps you are more moved, but that's only for you to really be sure about, of course.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:26 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


I left the movie theater absolutely wrecked, sobbing uncontrollably after A.I., The Hours and Dancer in the Dark. Recently, I lost my shit over an episode of BSG (when Kat dies). I would kill my husband before I let him put any video of my tears on the web. That's the part that squicks me, just an absolute violation of privacy, even if she did consent to it, the videos of her crying definitely feel like a violation.
posted by msali at 6:31 PM on January 31, 2010



She's a great sport for allowing this site to exist.


You don't know her well enough to make this judgement. And you're assuming that she doen't want it to be on the internet, but she's sport enough to *allow* her husband to put it on there.

Dude, I feel like we use the English language in very different ways.

I never assumed that she didn't want it on the internet. I assumed she WANTED it on the Internet.

And I don't know what you mean by *allow.* My assumption is that she and her husband have agreed TOGETHER to put it on the web. Not that either has *allowed* the other one to do something. To me, they look like a couple having fun together.

What I meant by "good sport" is that although she knew that this is potentially embarrassing, she realized people would get a kick out of it, so she put it online. People do that sort of thing all the time. They tell embarrassing stories about themselves because they know others will be entertained. They accept gentle teasing. In my book, that's being a good sport.

If my pants fell down in public and someone happened to video it, I would be mortified at first. But if a friend then said, "Man! You HAVE to put that on YouTube. It will make people laugh and laugh," I hope I would be "good sport" enough to agree.

I am stunned that you took two innocent comments I made -- about ways I admire the woman in the videos -- as perverted and/or offensive. I guess everyone. is. not. like. me.

She's an emotionally open person. I'm not. I wish I was.

She (probably) knew people might make fun of her if these videos were on the web, and yet she allowed them to be made public anyway, presumably because she enjoys entertaining people. I admire that.

Those were my points.
posted by grumblebee at 6:35 PM on January 31, 2010


I would submit to you that amplitude of emotional expression is not necessarily the same as depth of feeling. Perhaps you are more moved, but that's only for you to really be sure about, of course.

I get what you're saying, and I think it's true to some extent. There are all different ways people react -- or don't -- when they're moved.

Still, some of us can't just react. Even if we're alone in a room, we're always "looking over our shoulder" so to speak. There is a part of me that squashes emotion -- that pushes it down as far as possible -- whenever I start to feel it.

She does not seem to do that.
posted by grumblebee at 6:38 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


That's the part that squicks me, just an absolute violation of privacy, even if she did consent to it

Is it possible to violate someone's privacy if they consent to it?

Maybe she didn't really want the videos online, but he talked her into it. But assume that's not true for a second. Assume she's totally fine with them being on the web. Is it still an invasion of privacy? Can you invade your own privacy?
posted by grumblebee at 6:40 PM on January 31, 2010


Husband: Look what’s next sweetheart! Watership Down!

Hah, man she'd never leave the couch again!
posted by madajb at 6:40 PM on January 31, 2010


gumblebee, I get what your saying. I, too, am rather reserved in my expression of sadness and I'm deeply uncomfortable with crying in public. However, maybe because of that, or because of some of the quirky ways I was raised, this woman's tears do not make me sympathetic or envious of her ability to release emotion. Instead, I have the overwhelming urge to yell at her to chill out and get over it. Her tears feel manipulative to me and make me very, very uncomfortable. Not because what she's crying about is "not sad", I get that the most random shit can get to you. But something about this feels off and not right to me.

Regardless of my personal opinion, this whole thread has been an interesting read in the variety of ways people deal with emotion and expressions of emotion. And for that I thank you.
posted by teleri025 at 6:49 PM on January 31, 2010


teleri025, I know this is not what you're saying -- you're specifically uncomfortable with this woman -- but I feel the same way you do. I feel two things at once: part of me feels like it's great the way she "lets it all hang out." Another part of me wants to scream it her to pull it together. But this is how I feel whenever anyone cries. The part of me that stops myself from crying is trying to stop them, too. Mirror neurons are amazing things!
posted by grumblebee at 7:01 PM on January 31, 2010


This is about the most embarrassing confession I could ever make.

I never used to cry at movies. Ever. I remember being at Bambi when I was about seven, and everyone around me was bawling their eyes out, and I was sad, sure, but I couldn't cry. I tried to fake it, to force out a tear, but I just couldn't. It went on that way throughout my adolescence and my early adulthood.

Until I saw Titanic. Yeah, with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. I started sobbing about two-thirds of the way through that movie, and I sobbed for three hours straight at the end of it, and now I cry at fucking everything. Steve Martin movies? WAAAAAH! Documentaries about the Apollo program? WAAAAAAH! McDonald's commercials? In spanish? WAAAAAAAH WAH WAH WAH BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO! (Granted, I was pregnant for that last one, but even so, man, come on.)

It's awful. It's like I had this dam inside me, repressing all my emotion, and finally it broke and allowed me to express my true self. Which is awesome, sure, but Titanic? Really? I feel dirty just saying it.
posted by KathrynT at 7:02 PM on January 31, 2010 [4 favorites]


grumblebee, nope, actually you got it. This woman bugs me specifically, and people crying uncontrollably with no visible wounds bugs me in general. I'm just like you on that one...except I don't think "Wow, she's so open, I wish I could be like that." I think, "Oh Christ, really?"

Of course, none of that changes the fact that I cried through the first 15 minutes of Up and we won't even mention how I called my dad bawling like a five year old past bedtime when Giles left Buffy. We all express our emotions in the best way we know how, some of us repress, some don't. And in my opinion as long as you don't end up on a bell tower with a sniper rifle it's okay.
posted by teleri025 at 7:09 PM on January 31, 2010


You thinking Titanic is weird to lose your crying virginity to? I've never seen my dad cry, not at his mom's funeral, not at his dad's, not ever. As an adolescent, I followed suit. Didn't cry for shit... movies, music, whatever. Until one day I was listening to DMX's "Slippin'," which I'd totally heard before. I donno, that particular time it just really hit me and I lost my shit. I lost my cry-ginity to DMX. WTF.

Anyway, now I basically cry whenevs and it's great.
posted by johnnybeggs at 8:47 PM on January 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


1) I really like the logo. It's adorable
2) regardless of if its faked or not, it was good enough to make me want to cry with her!
posted by rubah at 8:49 PM on January 31, 2010


Okay, for starters, A Bug's Life is the most underrated Pixar film.

The plot is stolen wholesale from An American Tale imo.

"Oh no, big scary guys are making our life hard! Let's build a big artificial thing to scare them away!"

Sure, it doesn't work, necessitating another ten minutes of fighting to overcome, but it's on the level of Vanilla Ice humming the bassline to "Under Pressure" and doing it again with one extra "hmm" at the end, yanno?
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:55 PM on January 31, 2010


Titanic isn't an odd movie to cry to. I believe that, in essence, there is a cry-trigger in nearly every person. It's easy to activate, by even the hackiest of directors. It's something that I've come to resent heavily, but still gets me from time to time. In Titanic, the cry trigger is the band playing one last song as we see little vignettes from all over the ship, the old couple holding each other on the bed as water rises up beneath it, the woman telling her children how wonderful heaven is, all set to music that serves to emphasize the sadness. I saw it repeatedly, and still cry at that scene.

I learned, though, to finally resent it when I watched Saving Private Ryan. It was a stunning film to me, at least the first 30 minutes, because it felt like in some way it helped me understand, just a little bit, why my grandfather was the scary guy who sat on the deck by the pool, always drinking, never talking to anyone, but always inviting us over. And then the last scene, and the "tell me I've been a good man" bullshit. It's what finally turned me off Spielberg. Using the sledgehammer of emotion instead of careful strokes, like, say, in Up, to turn on the tears is emotionally exploitating.

And yes, Up crushed me. Repeatedly. I wept like a child at least four times. Even though the previews for the film in Japan essentially gave away the opening scene, it still floored me. Easily the best movie I've seen all year.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:36 PM on January 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


Isn't it odd that they're watching 2012 at home and yet it doesn't come out on home video until March 2nd? Hmmmm...
posted by CarlRossi at 10:05 PM on January 31, 2010


This is ringing a few bells, then killing them, then overkilling them.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:09 PM on January 31, 2010


I OK. This woman needs... something. Help? Not to be filmed? I don't know. This is the most disturbing thing I've seen in a while. It's pretty surprising to me that this would wig me out so much when there's violence and war and furries and real things going on but, damn. This really did it for me. I need to eat macaroni and cheese now and watch MST3K.


WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT HOUSE!!???
posted by Kloryne at 10:32 PM on January 31, 2010


I always cry to Forrest Gump; I must have seen the damn movie 50 times now. Everytime at the end when Forrest and Jenny are together FINALLY and then she fucking dies! I fucking lose it...everytime. I mean, his whole life, this man has built a shrine around his heart with her name on it. She could care less, until she finally decides either she loves him/she needs a sperm donor. She realizes that she loves him/he's the only one that's ever truly loved her when he finds her and her son. Then she reveals that she has AIDS and FUCKING DIES...WTF!

That's tear city. If you don't cry at that part of FG then you don't have a heart.

When my fiance was renting UP, the guy behind her told her that if her fiance didn't cry after the first 15 minutes, he didn't have a heart. I cried...but I was able to finish the movie and laugh at several bits. Katy couldn't even continue watching the movie she was so exhausted from crying.

Get over it...different people react to emotional circumstances differently...Film at 11!!!!11!!EleventyOne!!
posted by schyler523 at 10:35 PM on January 31, 2010


Okay, for starters, A Bug's Life is the most underrated Pixar film.

The plot is stolen wholesale from An American Tale imo.


Or The Seven Samurai. Wow. I think "defenseless village hires a group to defend them from bandits" trumps "builds scary thing". If that were the case, then Mannequin could be the inspiration for Bug's Life.
posted by CarlRossi at 10:36 PM on January 31, 2010


I'm saying the fake bird is the Mouse of Minsk. It's the exact same plan.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:38 PM on January 31, 2010


Why are nearly all of their bookshelves empty? That is really weird. Even weirder than crying after every movie you see.
posted by k8lin at 10:56 PM on January 31, 2010


I was surprised when the dream scene at the end of Raising Arizona made me cry, last time I saw it.
posted by thelastenglishmajor at 11:53 PM on January 31, 2010


The plot is stolen wholesale from An American Tale imo.

Originality is overrated.Certain stories affect us in certain predictable ways, and we tell these stories over and over. As mentioned upthread, Monsters Inc, and Lilo and Stitch are very similar. And they're both basically E.T. So is the Iron Giant, and in a way, so is Calvin and Hobbes. So I guess you can toss Fight Club in there too.

And since E.T. is basically Jesus...well, there you have it.

Based solely on repeated tellings of the same story, I believe that future societies will look back and Determine that the dominant religion of 20th century western society was Batman.
posted by billyfleetwood at 12:44 AM on February 1, 2010


yikes

This is somebody's fetish.
OK, fine.

Master and Commander when Aubry tells the kid who has just lost his arm about Admiral Nelson (who also had only one arm) and gives... *sniff* gives him... *sniff sniff* ... *aaaahhh- aaaah* gives him that book *WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*
posted by From Bklyn at 1:08 AM on February 1, 2010


Of course, all this makes me wonder if she cries when she sees her own web site.

Because I'm crying because the movies are so sad and now seeing myself cry makes me want to cry and ohnoI'mbawlingnowaaaaaaaaaaa.
posted by bwg at 3:48 AM on February 1, 2010




Shouldn't you be working?
posted by seanyboy at 5:51 AM on February 1, 2010 [1 favorite]


we won't even mention how I called my dad bawling like a five year old past bedtime when Giles left Buffy.

Oh god! The prom episode! Every single time! I get to "class protector" and just loose it.

Strangest media event that made me tear up? A planetarium. As an adult.

"It's just ...you know ....space and ..*choke* stuff."
posted by The Whelk at 6:46 AM on February 1, 2010


hmm....I guess my strongest reaction to this is: this guy is an unbelievably huge asshole, and if you don't agree with that, there's something wrong with you.
posted by the bricabrac man at 7:11 AM on February 1, 2010 [2 favorites]


The ending to Silent Running still gets me. Even cuing up and watching the youtube video just now.

He had to kill Huey, he was too broken, couldn't fix him... Dewey is going to take care of the forest, all by himself, forever... *bawls inconsolably*
posted by Meatbomb at 8:04 AM on February 1, 2010 [1 favorite]


Because unless you can imagine someone crying at the end of EVERY movie ever made, then I hate to break it to you, but you are exactly like those of us who think that crying about BttF implies that this is fake.

Imagine it? Maybe not. But I don't assume someone is bullshitting just because what they're saying fails to fire up my limited imagination. Especially when I know from experience that all kinds of weird (to me) things affect people emotionally. Especially when we're talking about what makes someone laugh or cry.

I once insisted that a friend go to the doctor, because she was running a 103 fever. She vehemently claimed that the only reason I was insisting was "to get attention." Even after she got better (and I could no longer blame her -- to me -- irrationality on feverish paranoia) she was still really pissed at me for "selfishly making a fuss." Twenty years later, we still don't see eye to eye on this, but one thing I'm sure of: I honestly felt she was in medical trouble; she honestly felt I was acting selfishly, just to get attention.

I can not get inside her mindset at all. I can't fathom it. I can't understand it. (I understand how one COULD make a big deal about a friend's fever to get attention. What I don't understand is her claim, which is that there's no other possible explanation for my actions, other than attention-grabbing histrionics.) My imagination completely fails when I try to get inside her shoes. But everything I know about her leads me to believe that, whether I get where she's coming from or not (whether it's crazy or not) she is honestly reporting her feelings.

I have seen people cry over all sorts of strange things. I have seen people laugh at things that I can't even imagine being funny. Smart people LOVE movies and books that I can't imagine a moron loving. My best friend (a guy who majored in math and logic in college) is a devout Christian even though I'm an atheist.

We have a thread going on about J.D. Salinger. "Catcher in the Rye" is one of my favorite books. I can't imagine how anyone could not like it. Yet my wife insists that she doesn't. Should I assume she's lying because I can't possibly imagine feeling that way?

Not. Every. One. Is. Like. Me.

If your meter for lies vs. truth is bounded by your imagination ... WOW!
posted by grumblebee at 8:23 AM on February 1, 2010


We have a thread going on about J.D. Salinger. "Catcher in the Rye" is one of my favorite books. I can't imagine how anyone could not like it. Yet my wife insists that she doesn't. Should I assume she's lying because I can't possibly imagine feeling that way?

Not. Every. One. Is. Like. Me.

If your meter for lies vs. truth is bounded by your imagination ... WOW!


Seriously? You're going to say "Not. Every. One. Is. Like. Me." and then try and insult the metrics I use for gauging lies? Not everyone's like you.

It sounds to me like you're willing to believe anything that anyone says about anything. I really fail to see how that's at all useful, honestly.

Also, I'm your long-lost brother who could really use a kidney transplant. No, really.
posted by 23skidoo at 9:01 AM on February 1, 2010


You: It sounds to me like you're willing to believe anything that anyone says about anything. I really fail to see how that's at all useful, honestly.

Me: Especially when we're talking about what makes someone laugh or cry.


Sorry if I mislead you about that.

If someone makes a factual claim about the world outside his head (e.g. "I have a zillion dollars in my bank account"), I do not necessarily believe him just because he says so.

However, I am not the expert on what goes on inside other people's heads. Only the owners of those heads are the experts on that subject. Unless I have a compelling reason to do otherwise, I think it's wise to defer to experts when my own knowledge about something is lacking.

That still doesn't mean I'll believe all claims -- even people's claims about their mental inner lives. If you say you can add fourteen-digit numbers together in your head, I won't believe you based on the claim alone. That's too far outside the bounds of normal psychology AS TESTED IN LAB CONDITIONS.

If I know you have a history of lying, I will, of course, be skeptical about anything you say.

If you contradict yourself -- if you, say, claim that you never cry and then tell me that you cry all the time -- I will assume one of your statements is a lie.

If you claim something is true about your inner life that flies in the face of my personal model of the human psyche (which is based largely on my own psyche), then I will be skeptical. I will be skeptical both of your claim and of my own skepticism -- since I know I can be VERY wrong about how other people work inside (due to a huge bias stemming from me mentally mapping other minds onto mine).

According to my mental map, it's impossible for anyone to like "Star Wars," sex with men, tomatoes and Hip Hop. Do you think my map is accurate? (If you think I'm joking, I'm not. Tomatoes make me throw up. It is LITERALLY impossible for anyone else to like them! If you say you like them you are lying. Or so my mind map tells me.)

I have seen SO many cognitive blunders of this type that I'm wildly skeptical of anyone who claims to have insight into another person's feelings. Of course, that other person may lie about his feelings, but his reports are the best guides we have -- flawed as they are.

Perhaps you've had the experience of feeling something and being told that you aren't having that feeling. It's frustrating and outrageous.
posted by grumblebee at 9:41 AM on February 1, 2010 [6 favorites]


That was a very well-worded, intricate response, Grumblebee. Anyone who says it's not is pantsonfire and off the map.

David Lynch's Elephant Man destroys me, btw. When I was pregnant, Tasters Choice commercials did it. I bow to my endocrine system overlord.
posted by hellboundforcheddar at 10:22 AM on February 1, 2010


Tasters Choice? You're lying!
posted by grumblebee at 10:30 AM on February 1, 2010


MetaFilter: that gurgling sound, which only real snot can make.
posted by Anything at 12:44 PM on February 1, 2010


You thinking Titanic is weird to lose your crying virginity to? I've never seen my dad cry, not at his mom's funeral, not at his dad's, not ever. As an adolescent, I followed suit. Didn't cry for shit... movies, music, whatever. Until one day I was listening to DMX's "Slippin'," which I'd totally heard before. I donno, that particular time it just really hit me and I lost my shit. I lost my cry-ginity to DMX. WTF.

Anyway, now I basically cry whenevs and it's great.


This cat did it for me.
posted by Anything at 12:47 PM on February 1, 2010


This cat does it for me too. (aww kitty :()
posted by divabat at 2:16 PM on February 1, 2010


I'd challenge any fan of any genre of music to listen to the instrumental to 'slippin', and not feel the emotion of the composition.
Can this be exhibit a) on why it's completely reasonable to cry about movies that most people find dumb?

(this next paragraph contains a possibly tl;dr, likely Post hoc ergo propter hoc, potentially insightful explanation of why star wars could make an individual feel 'motional.)
I believe they were watching episode 3 of the star wars, as she speaks of the death of Mr. Vader's (dutch for the father) great love... she is saying, and Vader didn't even die.. and his kids will never see him, and he will never see them with his own eyes…. (meaning that she saw a tragedy and had complex emotions and was projecting that he must have wished he could have just died, rather than have his children see him as powerless and a servant of evil, coming full circle from his youth, and enslavement then, rather than having his children getting to see the hero who fought for the weak and oppressed… as he seemingly had dreamed of being since he was that enslaved child.)... and then Vader spent the next 20 odd years hating himself, and being so damaged and weak that he could not overpower and destroy his en-slaver (as he had imagined he would be able to..)
He (skywalker) was a Hero. He fought for freedom in a galaxy full of violence and chaos, and exploitation. But...
He believed himself more powerful than he was.
He thought he could destroy the great evils all alone... without coalition. In it all he destroyed everything that made him unique as an extremely powerful jedi... caring ABOUT people, rather than just simply caring for them...
(even though he had brought passion and instinct back into the ultra conservative jedi order like none since Mr. Neeson's Jinn..)
But going alone failed. A former hero was reduced to the status of an attack dog.
This was realized by the next generation (who the former hero would never set eyes upon, but he was a hero. And the original trilogy was all about how important being a player in a community setting really is.)

He was overconfident, and didn't trust in the strength of his friendships; the love that came with those friendships could have altered the way things turned out... but he went it alone, and believed he could take down the strongest evils all by himself. This was folly.

;l;o;l; dude I love my own theories of star wars.... and I'mgonna let me finish... but... check out this video explaining a really weird love story, that shows the love that was supposed to be shown in the movie, but really didn't come across in the films... it's the second best music video by taylor swift of all time...

Also, this thread included many further data points in a theory of Film character cuteness factors and viewer psycology that I have been not-writing for years. (that would be column 225 for all you studio execs hanging out in the lobby and reading along with your creato-matic plot generating machines.) which goes thusly;
Computer Generated People=cuter than human people. Now the only thing I have yet to determine is ...
Are CG people cuter, or less cuter than CG Anthropomorphised non-people?

"bah... there's no way this movies gonna get to me... it's just...about... a .. stupid.. roboaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"
posted by infinite intimation at 2:17 PM on February 1, 2010 [1 favorite]


I cried at BTTF! I saw it for the first time when I was about 20 and it was the scene were [SPOILER] the parents kiss for the first time.
posted by mippy at 9:59 AM on February 3, 2010


Gawker picks up on the site, with a shout out to MeFi's own Astro Zombie's girlfriend's video ("cute but quietly unsettling.")
posted by availablelight at 1:26 PM on February 3, 2010


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