He has a wife, you know

February 4, 2010 11:55 PM

Life imitates Python: The Life of Brian's unfortunately-named Roman has a real-life counterpart, and he's been denied ambassadorship to Saudi Arabia due to the fact that his name means "biggest dick" in Arabic.
posted by Jon_Evil (91 comments total)

I'm surprised the article translated the name to biggest dick instead of something less vulgar like biggest penis.
posted by Daddy-O at 12:01 AM on February 5, 2010

I assume "zib" is a slang term, not a formal one. Thus, "dick" would be the most appropriate synonym to put in print. Somehow, "biggest wiener" doesn't get the point across as well.
posted by Jon_Evil at 12:15 AM on February 5, 2010

Never seemed to hinder the career of Sir Hugh G. Wayding-Tackell of the F.O.
posted by Abiezer at 12:16 AM on February 5, 2010 [2 favorites]

He has a wife, you know..
posted by salmacis at 12:26 AM on February 5, 2010 [14 favorites]

Well, if they won't accept Akbar, maybe they'll accept Jeff.
(pre-Simpsons Matt Groening reference, because I don't want to be the first to do an Admiral Akbar joke because ... IT'S A TRAP!)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:34 AM on February 5, 2010 [8 favorites]

oh man, oneswellfoop, you just reminded me of this cartoon.
posted by Jon_Evil at 12:38 AM on February 5, 2010

It's Saudi Arabia, for God's sake. You'd think a place that full of petroleum jelly would be able to accept Biggest Dick with ease. Has Ask Metafilter lied to me with its 'lube, lube and more lube' mantra?
posted by eatyourcellphone at 1:02 AM on February 5, 2010 [10 favorites]

They don't like the cut of his zib.
posted by bwg at 1:09 AM on February 5, 2010 [11 favorites]

Saudi dicks were envious.
posted by Skeptic at 1:22 AM on February 5, 2010

Jon_Evil, "weiner" and "cock" also have other meanings in English which probably don't match "zib" (those of sausage and rooster, respectively). "Dick" is closest because it inexplicably derives from Richard. It is a fact that all Richards are dicks.

Anyone want to take a stab at the etymology?
posted by mek at 1:31 AM on February 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

They also couldn't use "cock" since the final sentence would then have less to take the piss out of...
posted by birdsquared at 1:44 AM on February 5, 2010

He has a wife, you know.

Only one? Of four? I see.
posted by orthogonality at 1:59 AM on February 5, 2010

I used to work with a guy called Aurangzeb, who everybody round the office took to calling Zeb. It was quite a few months before he worked up the courage to ask us to always use his full name, as Zeb might be misconstrued by some.
posted by Sova at 2:14 AM on February 5, 2010

A man walks into a bar.

He wears a charcoal gray suit, a charcoal hat, charcoal socks, black leather shoes, and a silver Porsche watch on the wrist of the hand that carries a rather large briefcase, which he carefully sets down before straddling a stool and addressing the bartender.

"A Knob Creek Manhattan, up," the man says.

"Sure thing, buddy."

As the bartender turns his back to mix the drink, the contents of the briefcase are emptied, and when he returns, serving the drink on a square napkin, he sees spread out on the shiny wooden bar top a miniature piano, a tiny piano stool to scale, and atop it a little man, 12 inches tall, playing faint music that sounds like Brahms' Piano Concerto 2 in B flat major.

"Well I'll be damned," the bartender says. "Where did you get a little guy like that?" He hunches over to scrutinize the musician more closely. "Look at those long, tiny fingers!"

The man, having gulped half his drink, says nothing, but the bartender presses him, and finally he erupts. "It's a long story," the man says. "But it all started with this magic lamp." At this he reaches back into the briefcase, produces in his diminutive hands a small, golden lamp, and shoves it toward the bartender, who yanks the towel from his waist and begins polishing.

POOOF!

When the smoke clears, a genie is revealed hovering in the air between the man and the bartender. "You've got one wish," the genie demands. "Use it or lose it."

The bartender stammers. "I'll be," he says, feeling rushed. "Well I guess I wish for... I wish for... I wish for $10 million bucks!"

POOOF!

The genie is gone.

The bar is quiet, except for the faint sound of Brahms rising from the bar top, and the bartender, regaining his composure, starts to worry.

"Hey, what about my wish," he says. "Nothing happened."

But that very moment, over at the open door, a fluttering is heard, and then a quack, and in waddles a duck, followed by a second duck, and a third -- and soon the bar is filling with a badelynge, a bunch, a brace, a grouse, a whole flock of quacking mallards. They stream in without end.

"Now wait just a minute," the bartender cries. "I see what's happening here! I didn't wish for a million ducks! I wished for a million bucks!"

The man, world weary, sighs knowingly.

"Do you think," he said, "that I wished for a twelve inch pianist?"

by Conor Friedersdorf
posted by netbros at 2:48 AM on February 5, 2010 [17 favorites]

I wonder if that former Microsoft VP Dick Brass could get the job?
posted by chavenet at 3:00 AM on February 5, 2010

Frow him to the floor, sir?
posted by The Ultimate Olympian at 3:06 AM on February 5, 2010

He's upright, penetrating, yet sensitive: eager to know other people, to really get inside them. He's straight, hard when it's needed, and in a crisis he delivers.
posted by Phanx at 3:33 AM on February 5, 2010 [14 favorites]

Here's what bothers me, the man is a diplomat and those who sees his name are also working with diplomacy. If you can't wrap your head around exotic names, no matter what they mean in your language, you probably shouldn't be working in any diplomatic capacity.
posted by dabitch at 3:39 AM on February 5, 2010 [5 favorites]

*hnnkkk*
posted by sidereal at 4:00 AM on February 5, 2010 [2 favorites]

You should see how the British titter at our Fannie Mae.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:01 AM on February 5, 2010

You should see how the British titter at our Fannie Mae.

Fannie Mae! *titters*

*blushes*
posted by Sova at 4:11 AM on February 5, 2010 [5 favorites]

Here's what bothers me, the man is a diplomat and those who sees his name are also working with diplomacy. If you can't wrap your head around exotic names, no matter what they mean in your language, you probably shouldn't be working in any diplomatic capacity.

Just so you know, I forwarded the story to all my friends at the State Department.

-Amb. Humongus Johnson
posted by Pollomacho at 4:24 AM on February 5, 2010 [7 favorites]

I find it hard to imagine that the Pakistanis don't know what his name means. This sounds like a city-mice (Arabs) vs. country mice (Pakistanis) cultural thing to me.
posted by wobh at 4:35 AM on February 5, 2010

I can't believe this is serious. In America, we've got Johnsons and Wangs all over government, working with Dicks from all 50 states, but the Sauds can't take a single Akbar Zeb for fear that someone might get a case of the giggles?

It's not like the dude's name transliterates to "Bukkake Party 4" or "Donkey Punch 'Dirty' Sanchez."
posted by explosion at 4:35 AM on February 5, 2010 [8 favorites]

I find it hard to imagine that the Pakistanis don't know what his name means.

They speak Urdu and English, primarily, in Pakistan. Saudi Arabia, not surprisingly, speaks Arabic. His name is probably as much a joke in Pakistan as a man being named "Wang" is a joke in China.
posted by explosion at 4:39 AM on February 5, 2010

by Conor Friedersdorf

Dude must be 100 years old by now.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 4:40 AM on February 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

I never realized until now what a great porn name Zebulon Pike would be.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:50 AM on February 5, 2010 [5 favorites]

They speak Urdu and English, primarily, in Pakistan.

And they learn Arabic in school in order to read the koran (and get jobs at construction sites in Dubai).
posted by Pollomacho at 4:55 AM on February 5, 2010

Ah, how will school ever get on without prof. Richard Holder.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 5:03 AM on February 5, 2010

I knew a guy called Dave whose friends all called him Dick. After first meeting him I asked one of them if his name was really Richard. "Nah, he's just a dick."
posted by jimmythefish at 5:16 AM on February 5, 2010

You should see how the British titter at our Fannie Mae.

My grandmother from Yorkshire nearly had a coronary embolism when she first heard the phrase 'fanny pack'.
posted by jimmythefish at 5:18 AM on February 5, 2010 [9 favorites]

Or like 'Fuk' in Korea? But English and Korean aren't even vaguely related whereas, so wikipedia informs me, Urdu draws a lot of words from Arabic. 'Akbar' sounds like one and 'Zeb' may be a cognate or a borrowing that's shifted meanings a lot. To me this seems more like the penis-words we have handed to us from latin: pencil, peninsula, penetrate. The dictionary etymology informs me these pen- words were used for all kinds of things like penises, but also tails, brushes, even feathers. This sounds like it might be related to some of the 'hanging' words too like 'pendant'. How would a man named "Magnus Penis" be treated in our culture? What kind of place could he have come from where his name meant something less provocative?
posted by wobh at 5:19 AM on February 5, 2010

I worked at a hotel once and checked in this guy named Richard Buttram. Middle school must have been hell...
posted by ZaneJ. at 5:22 AM on February 5, 2010

And they learn Arabic in school in order to read the koran

For some reason I don't believe they'll find a translation for Akbar Zeb in the Koran.

The amusing thing is it seems to be a rather common Pakistani name in the gulf countries so I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time any of them hear it. Having him in a diplomatic position must be too much for their delicate Saudi sensibilities.
posted by xqwzts at 5:24 AM on February 5, 2010

There was a guy at my company named Randy Dickman. I can't imagine what his parents were thinking.
posted by nooneyouknow at 5:29 AM on February 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Do you think," he said, "that I wished for a twelve inch pianist?"

A tramp walks into a bar. He's unkempt, his motley collection of clothing has holes in it, and he smells. Seeing a vacant piano, he seeks out the proprietor to offer his services as a pianist.

As it happens, the bar does need a pianist, but the proprietor is sceptical as to the ability of the tramp. He decides to put him on probation in order to determine his repertoire.

Well, it turns out that the tramp is a bona fide virtuoso. Not only does he have an excellent knowledge of classical and jazz, he frequently plays his own stunning compositions, and has excellent song recognition - someone need only give the basic tune of a piece and he can flesh out the rest, whether it be pop music, a jingle or an old folk song.

The proprietor's delighted, and employs the man full-time. Soon, his reputation grows, and the nights he works are packed, with the bar doing an excellent trade. But still he persists in wearing his humble clothes.

One evening, the festivities are in full swing. He's already wowed the crowd with some imaginative reinterpretations of classic songs, and now he's moved into some more up-tempo numbers, taking requests as he goes. A glamorous lady sidles up to him.

"I say" she murmurs, "I don't suppose you know your dick is hanging through the wicker stool?"

"I can't say I do ma'am" he replies, "but if you hum the first few bars I'll soon pick it up"

Think that was a Brian Johnston.
posted by djgh at 5:43 AM on February 5, 2010 [2 favorites]

You should see how the British titter at our Fannie Mae.

You should have seen how many pictures our British friends took of the Sod House at the pioneer museum at the Arch in St. Louis.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:46 AM on February 5, 2010

We have a reporter/TV presenter in the UK called Chris Peacock. During a live location report someone realised his name had a humorous aspect to it when pronounced a certain way. Consequently he always referred to himself as Christopher Peacock for future reports.
posted by panboi at 6:04 AM on February 5, 2010 [2 favorites]

In the world of "What were his parents thinking?": New Hampshire Congressman Dick Swett.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:07 AM on February 5, 2010

Here's what bothers me, the man is a diplomat and those who sees his name are also working with diplomacy. If you can't wrap your head around exotic names, no matter what they mean in your language, you probably shouldn't be working in any diplomatic capacity.

If I recall correctly, the U.S. Senate essentially has veto power over who will become Secretary-General of the United Nations. As Boutros Boutros Ghali was stepping down, commentators were seriously saying that one of the candidates to replace him, Salim Ahmed Salim, had no chance of making it through the Senate because they would never accept two guys in a row with funny repetitive names. It infuriated me that idiotic U.S. attitudes toward names could affect the rest of the world like that.
posted by gubo at 6:08 AM on February 5, 2010 [3 favorites]

I'm surprised no one has made this point but Since they say "Allah Ackbar" all the time, perhaps Ackbar has a religious connotation? Imagine someone named "Holly Cock" being appointed to the Vatican.
posted by delmoi at 6:12 AM on February 5, 2010

I think Ackbar means great or greatest...
posted by CitoyenK at 6:18 AM on February 5, 2010

The British? That's why I use my full name (Randall) in Hong Kong instead of just Randy.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Randy."

"How nice for you."

Or, "I'm married."

Or, "Take a cold shower, then."

And being Canadian, it's also why the Aussies giggle when they see me wearing clothing from the Roots store.
posted by bwg at 6:21 AM on February 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

Allāhu Akbar (الله أكبر): "God is [the] greatest."
posted by bwg at 6:22 AM on February 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

I think Ackbar means great or greatest

Yes, it does.

great [greyt]
–adjective
1. unusually or comparatively large in size or dimensions: A great fire destroyed nearly half the city.
posted by Pollomacho at 6:32 AM on February 5, 2010

Dentist in my hometown was named Richard Peter Weiner. No lie.
posted by sciurus at 6:33 AM on February 5, 2010

Gosh, I guess there's no point mentioning my friend Giant Throbbing Horsecock Jones, since all the good jokes have been taken.
posted by briank at 6:37 AM on February 5, 2010 [3 favorites]

Dentist in my hometown was named Richard Peter Weiner.

And his wife's maiden name was Johnson. Their son was Richard Peter Johnson-Weiner Jr. or "Dicky" for short.

OK, now I'm making stuff up.
posted by Pollomacho at 6:37 AM on February 5, 2010

Game Show Announcer: Guard number one is a senior on Klahn's mountain, and aspires to be a research chemist. Welcome, please, Hung Well! Guard number two is a real skating buff. A warm welcome for Long Wang! Traveling comes naturally to guard number three, as he's a licensed airplane pilot. Welcome, please, Enormous Genitals!

Goddamn I need to be 14 and see that movie again.
posted by a young man in spats at 6:46 AM on February 5, 2010 [3 favorites]

Pfft, sciurus, my childhood dentist was Dr. Wild -- whose dad was also Dr. Wild -- and my orthodontist was Dr. Mundt. My pediatrician was Dr. Weinke (pronounced "winkie"): "turn your head and cough," indeed.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:01 AM on February 5, 2010

I've always wished that the parents of the founder of Johnson & Johnson had named him Richard instead.
posted by Narual at 7:09 AM on February 5, 2010

Guy's at the bar, making love to his tonic and gin (as the song says), and after a while he notices that the guy next to him has a head about the size of a grapefruit. He feels sorry for the guy and buys him a drink, and is amazed to discover that his new friend, although a pinhead, has normal intelligence and is capable of having a decent, reasoned conversation. After a couple more drinks, he works up the nerve to ask the pinhead about his condition.

"Well," the pinhead says, "it went like this. Got stranded on a desert island, nearly starved before a bottle washed up on the shore. I opened it and this gorgeous female genie comes out. Of course, I got the three wishes, and after I wished for the rescue helicopter and a billion dollars, I looked at her in her diaphanous harem pants and told her that it had been a long time since I'd been with a woman and, well, she was the most beautiful one I'd ever seen, and she primly informs me that her order of genii was celibate, so I says to her, 'OK, how about a little head?'"
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:24 AM on February 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

kuujjuarapik: "by Conor Friedersdorf

Dude must be 100 years old by now."

He'd have to be to draw that joke out that long.
posted by Reverend John at 7:40 AM on February 5, 2010

Do we have a native speaker who can explain the nuance of zeb? Dick is such a multi-functional English word, being variously vulgar or simply colloquial, and a perjorative, and a nickname. That dick often is synonymous with asshole pleases the gay conspiracist in me. What is zeb? Is it ever used non-rudely to mean penis, or is it always negative? Does it have some other non-anatomical meaning?

I went hunting and came up with two sources, neither good.

The first source is useless, but amusing enough I have to link it: penis translated into many languages. They list some 80 variants in Swedish!

A bit better is Cassell's dictionary of slang, which says

zob n. [1900s-40s] (US) a good-for-nothing, a weak person. ... "Zob" with the variants "zobi", "zeb", or "zébi" is well established in French slang since at least 1870 ... It comes from maghrebin Arabic "zebbi" or classical Arabic "zubb". The sense of the word is "penis", and it is very often used pejoratively about a person.

I've now got a new word!
posted by Nelson at 7:43 AM on February 5, 2010

On the "what were his parents thinking?" front.. I refer you to the eminent Austin, Texas urologist Dick Chopp.

No, really: http://www.urologyteam.com/dr-richard-chopp
posted by hanoixan at 7:44 AM on February 5, 2010

There was a guy at my company named Randy Dickman. I can't imagine what his parents were thinking.

Worked out alright for "Randy "The Big Unit" Johnson.
posted by piratebowling at 7:45 AM on February 5, 2010

Er.. No, really.
posted by hanoixan at 7:46 AM on February 5, 2010

I was talking to someone who swore blind two brothers at his school were called Andrew and Peter Nuss (A. Nuss and P. Nuss).

But no discussion of hilarious names would be complete without this.
posted by MuffinMan at 7:51 AM on February 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

Do we have a native speaker who can explain the nuance of zeb?

Syrian guy at the office says it's just slang for penis, like "cock" in English and you wouldn't use it in a formal environment.
posted by cronholio at 7:58 AM on February 5, 2010

Ah, how will school ever get on without prof. Richard Holder.

Hey, Dr. Richard Holder was my T'ai-Chi teacher back at UNM. No kidding. I think we all assumed we knew why he started his life-long martial arts hobby.
posted by lumpenprole at 7:58 AM on February 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

Who cares what Saudi Arabia thinks anyway? Since when do they get to decide who the Pakistani ambassador is going to be? Imagine if some country told the US "We don't accept your ambassador". That's quite an insult.

If this is true it says something about which country has more power in the international arena.
posted by eye of newt at 8:00 AM on February 5, 2010

Momus walks into a bar, sits down, orders a drink, and takes from his bag an immaculately crafted miniature grand piano. The bartender asks him if it works; Momus explains that it is in fact a fully functional musical instrument, that he spent years carefully constructing it, but that due to a mishap involving a genie with hearing problems there was no one in the world small enough to play it.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 8:01 AM on February 5, 2010 [7 favorites]

"Saudi officials, apparently overwhelmed by the idea of the name,"

Overwhelmed huh? So, they just couldn't wrap themselves around the idea? Pity. They should have just reached out and grabbed a hold of Biggest Dick and stroked a good relationship out of him. But it's probably for the best. It sounds like he was over equipped and they wouldn't have been able to handle him.

"or the result of a particularly egregious cockup."

On an unrelated note, I'm really hoping that the next ambassador they send has a name which translates as "egregious cockup"
posted by quin at 8:07 AM on February 5, 2010

Imagine if some country told the US "We don't accept your ambassador". That's quite an insult.

Yeah, imagine!
posted by Pollomacho at 8:12 AM on February 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

well, looks like he got the shaft
posted by mordacil at 8:12 AM on February 5, 2010

My sophmore geometry teacher was named Richard Seaman. He had the most boring monotone voice I have ever heard.
posted by Uncle at 8:13 AM on February 5, 2010

I bet Peter O'Toole pretty much just stays home.
posted by bondcliff at 8:25 AM on February 5, 2010

There's disputes about ambassadors all the time. For instance James Hormel.
posted by Nelson at 8:27 AM on February 5, 2010

Years ago, New Hampshire had a Congressional representative named Richard Swett.
Yup. Dick Swett from Congress.
posted by pentagoet at 8:36 AM on February 5, 2010

There is a doctor who does plastic surgery in Toronto (most notable in the news for his penis enlargement surgery a few years back) called Dr. Stubbs
posted by phirleh at 8:43 AM on February 5, 2010

Who cares what Saudi Arabia thinks anyway?

LOL
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:43 AM on February 5, 2010

In middle school, I sat next to a kid named Richard Woody. I wish I were making that up.
posted by electroboy at 8:44 AM on February 5, 2010

My sophmore geometry teacher was named Richard Seaman.

Reminds me of this clip - David Seaman in goal.

Which birthed the joke:

Why do Brazilians have big balls? So that they can lob Seaman over thirty metres.
posted by djgh at 8:47 AM on February 5, 2010

Went to school with a guy named Long Duc Dong. Nice guy. True Story.
posted by Aquaman at 9:08 AM on February 5, 2010

Were you in 16 candles?
posted by empath at 9:38 AM on February 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

Don't forget this unfortunate kid.
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:38 AM on February 5, 2010

That's Ahz-wee-pay!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:20 PM on February 5, 2010

I worked at a conference with a researcher from Mumbai with the last name of Dikshit. Y'know, I got my giggles out in the office beforehand, repeated his full name until it sounded a name, and I was able to shake his hand and introduce him with nary a smirk.

It's not that fucking difficult.
posted by desuetude at 12:43 PM on February 5, 2010 [2 favorites]

Sure, It may mean big dick, but it is pronounced Throatwarblermangrove.
posted by Gungho at 1:52 PM on February 5, 2010 [2 favorites]

"Went to school with a guy named Long Duc Dong. Nice guy. True Story."

Better Long Duc Dong than Two Little Wang, eh?
posted by mikelieman at 1:59 PM on February 5, 2010

“In America, we've got Johnsons and Wangs all over government, working with Dicks from all 50 states”
quoted for truth

Look, to his credit, Akbar Zeb in his career capacity has to work in some sensitive depth. We know he has to plunge headfirst into issues, and is exposed to high temperatures and pressures and possibly contagious diseases, in what can be a hairy environment with two dark paths.

But the problem is not his name. The problem is he does not always follow the orders of leadership. Sometimes he gets out of his intended position and goes into different areas occasionally causing embarrassment and/or discomfort to the cadre and has demanded custom tailored clothes to rectify the situation. Perhaps he is sensitive because of an early childhood trauma when he was badly cut.

But this speculative gash aside, he usually needs overt encouragement or if not manual stimulation to start working but has often been overzealous in his enthusiasm and has stood out on his own, despite demands he remain private, looking to start work under inappropriate circumstances.
True, this was more of a problem in his youth (typically on public buses) and was covered up when necessary (often by a mathematics text) and he rarely goes off half cocked anymore, it is also true that even when his timing has been perfectly appropriate to the situation at hand he always leaves his workplace in disarray after his shift and has been known to leave the issue standing or even unfinished in personal apparel such as a sock.

In addition, he has not always worn the proper corrective clothing and sometimes disregards safety protocols and advice from leadership in his eagerness to come to an issue which has endangered himself and others.

Granted this has in the past been the result of his team and leadership abusing alcohol, which understandably led to a decline in his own morale and stiff regard for protocol, but in any case he has never worked a full eight hour shift and it is expected he will be impotent in his affairs and retire before the age of 65.

Additionally, it has been rumored he has repeatedly entered and left, and then returned and exited again a number of workplaces bearing a large sack containing what some believe may have been family jewels.
As it is well known the Saudi royal houses proudly bear their family jewels in a number of prominent, if opprobrious, places, the reality or the appearance of impropriety is unacceptable.

Particularly if Mr. Zeb were able to insinuate himself, as good ambassadors often do, through informal 'backdoor' channels, into the dark bowels of the otherwise tightly controlled Saudi affairs. Without the social lubricant and assurance from a trusted penetrator of interboundry transactions this could cause not only great pain and surprise, but also a rupture in relations.

Therefore in consideration, the juvenile insinuations regarding his name have no bearing and Akbar Zeb could not help but be rejected as an ambassador.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:09 PM on February 5, 2010 [2 favorites]

I bet Peter O'Toole pretty much just stays home.

His brother Miles, on the other hand...
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:50 PM on February 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

If I had a spare $5 I'd have me another sock puppet.
posted by Fezboy! at 3:15 PM on February 5, 2010

On the "what were his parents thinking?" front.. I refer you to the eminent Austin, Texas urologist Dick Chopp.

I once found a guy in the phone book named Case.

Justin Case.
posted by bwg at 3:31 PM on February 5, 2010

grapefruitmoon: "In the world of "What were his parents thinking?": New Hampshire Congressman Dick Swett."

‘My Name Is Dick Swett,’ Person Says To President
posted by brundlefly at 3:52 PM on February 5, 2010

They don't like the cut of his zib.
posted by bwg at 3:09 AM

You mean, he's uncircumcised?
posted by symbioid at 6:13 PM on February 5, 2010

This news was discussed elsewhere and someone mentioned the splendidly-monikered Dutch Socialist Party senator Tiny Kox.
posted by Abiezer at 7:19 PM on February 5, 2010

He has a wife, you know..
posted by salmacis

Doesn't anyone read the title anymore?
posted by Evilspork at 8:14 PM on February 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

Hey, Dr. Richard Holder was my T'ai-Chi teacher back at UNM. No kidding.

Did he teach any of these skills?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:46 AM on February 6, 2010

You mean, he's uncircumcised?

I don't think it matters when you've got a huge zib.
posted by bwg at 4:53 AM on February 6, 2010

Take off every zib! For great justice!
posted by SPrintF at 11:53 AM on February 6, 2010 [1 favorite]