Simplify, simplify, simplify
February 7, 2010 3:52 PM Subscribe
Way 0: Become an hero
posted by codswallop at 4:02 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by codswallop at 4:02 PM on February 7, 2010
I confess, this made me chuckle, because I had my hate right on till I read it.
posted by smoke at 4:04 PM on February 7, 2010 [7 favorites]
posted by smoke at 4:04 PM on February 7, 2010 [7 favorites]
[By Metafilter's own etc etc, of course.]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:05 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:05 PM on February 7, 2010
I'm gonna simplify fourteen so hard.
posted by exlotuseater at 4:06 PM on February 7, 2010 [7 favorites]
posted by exlotuseater at 4:06 PM on February 7, 2010 [7 favorites]
Trouble is, these tips leave one with no life. Pretty useless - and frankly, hopelessly uncute.
posted by Vibrissae at 4:06 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Vibrissae at 4:06 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
Trouble is, these tips leave one with no life. Pretty useless - and frankly, hopelessly uncute.
I see you have simplified your life by commenting before reading.
posted by smoke at 4:07 PM on February 7, 2010 [49 favorites]
I see you have simplified your life by commenting before reading.
posted by smoke at 4:07 PM on February 7, 2010 [49 favorites]
#14 seems needlessly complex. And redundant with #25.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 4:08 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Hardcore Poser at 4:08 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Eating half of each pet seems like it would complicate things, what with half of each pet laying around uneaten and stinking up the place.
Also, as a female, you don't want to get caught staring. Men will think you are staring at them or want to know what you're thinking about. Complications...
posted by Lesser Shrew at 4:09 PM on February 7, 2010
Also, as a female, you don't want to get caught staring. Men will think you are staring at them or want to know what you're thinking about. Complications...
posted by Lesser Shrew at 4:09 PM on February 7, 2010
32. Couch fort dinner party
Oh, mais oui!
posted by briank at 4:14 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
Oh, mais oui!
posted by briank at 4:14 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
Hmm, the order was not completely thought out either:
19. Amputate favorite limb
...
24. Icepick to one good eye
So what if that limb is my icepick-swinging one, smart guy? Then what??
Coaxial sweater vest: I can't condone this. HDMI is a good enough, modern digital standard. And the sweater will be less bulky.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 4:16 PM on February 7, 2010 [5 favorites]
19. Amputate favorite limb
...
24. Icepick to one good eye
So what if that limb is my icepick-swinging one, smart guy? Then what??
Coaxial sweater vest: I can't condone this. HDMI is a good enough, modern digital standard. And the sweater will be less bulky.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 4:16 PM on February 7, 2010 [5 favorites]
so many potential sockpuppets.....
posted by Throw away your common sense and get an afro! at 4:17 PM on February 7, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Throw away your common sense and get an afro! at 4:17 PM on February 7, 2010 [3 favorites]
Nicene Creed Robot would make an excellent 1: mefi username 2: band name 3: robot name.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 4:17 PM on February 7, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by synaesthetichaze at 4:17 PM on February 7, 2010 [5 favorites]
Lookie, I hacked 14!
posted by iamkimiam at 4:18 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by iamkimiam at 4:18 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
I will not eat half of my Quaker Parrot. OTOH I will eat all of my girlfriends Betta Splendens.
posted by Splunge at 4:25 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by Splunge at 4:25 PM on February 7, 2010
Couch fort dinner party does not belong on that list, because it is the best idea EVER.
posted by showbiz_liz at 4:29 PM on February 7, 2010 [6 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 4:29 PM on February 7, 2010 [6 favorites]
Only sodomize things that forgive
Well that clears *that* up.
posted by The Whelk at 4:30 PM on February 7, 2010 [7 favorites]
Well that clears *that* up.
posted by The Whelk at 4:30 PM on February 7, 2010 [7 favorites]
Well, that wasn't what I expected!
made me chuckle ~ he he ~
posted by garnetgirl at 4:35 PM on February 7, 2010
made me chuckle ~ he he ~
posted by garnetgirl at 4:35 PM on February 7, 2010
I enjoyed this list.
posted by Zen unicorn rainbow zen journal at 4:36 PM on February 7, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Zen unicorn rainbow zen journal at 4:36 PM on February 7, 2010 [3 favorites]
44. tear up lists
posted by pyramid termite at 4:36 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by pyramid termite at 4:36 PM on February 7, 2010
Somehow some of this is useful. Somehow some of it sounds like out-takes from Radiohead's Fitter Happier. Somehow it's all brilliant.
posted by hnnrs at 4:45 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by hnnrs at 4:45 PM on February 7, 2010
How could you not include squirrel financial advisors?
posted by jimmythefish at 4:48 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by jimmythefish at 4:48 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
"something something [something]" is the most elegant joke structure known to humans.
posted by mullacc at 4:51 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by mullacc at 4:51 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
Very nice. Is it meant to be a parody of zenhabits? Or is that just a happy coincidence?
On preview, ah, yes that is deliberate. Good.
posted by Naberius at 4:52 PM on February 7, 2010
On preview, ah, yes that is deliberate. Good.
posted by Naberius at 4:52 PM on February 7, 2010
Wait, is #7 a chair for a make-believe girlfriend? Or a make-believe chair? I was never any good at koans. I just cheated off the monk next to me. Oh! Are they both make-believe?
posted by steef at 4:54 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by steef at 4:54 PM on February 7, 2010
Only sodomize things that forgive
They may forgive, but trust me when I tell you, they'll never forget.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:58 PM on February 7, 2010 [6 favorites]
They may forgive, but trust me when I tell you, they'll never forget.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:58 PM on February 7, 2010 [6 favorites]
32. Couch fort dinner party
Oh, mais oui!
The only question that remains - is it a bring your own cushion affair, or should I - as the host - supply my guests with an array of cushions suitable for fort building?
posted by device55 at 4:59 PM on February 7, 2010
Oh, mais oui!
The only question that remains - is it a bring your own cushion affair, or should I - as the host - supply my guests with an array of cushions suitable for fort building?
posted by device55 at 4:59 PM on February 7, 2010
Wait, is #7 a chair for a make-believe girlfriend? Or a make-believe chair?
It's a chair you can. Cuddle.
posted by device55 at 5:00 PM on February 7, 2010
It's a chair you can. Cuddle.
posted by device55 at 5:00 PM on February 7, 2010
Got hung up in a panic trying to figure out what sex the person in the picture is.
posted by grobstein at 5:04 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by grobstein at 5:04 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Wait, is #7 a chair for a make-believe girlfriend?
You're a hipster only if the chair isAsian rattan.
posted by orthogonality at 5:04 PM on February 7, 2010
You're a hipster only if the chair is
posted by orthogonality at 5:04 PM on February 7, 2010
It reminds me of similar odd but strangely appealing phrases.
posted by The otter lady at 5:11 PM on February 7, 2010 [13 favorites]
posted by The otter lady at 5:11 PM on February 7, 2010 [13 favorites]
Merlin is partially responsible for creating the sites he's mocking here, so I consider it a kind of penance. Entertaining penance though it is.
posted by mike_bling at 5:15 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by mike_bling at 5:15 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
It's a chair you can. Cuddle.
Yeah, my brother had a chair like that.
posted by steef at 5:15 PM on February 7, 2010
Yeah, my brother had a chair like that.
posted by steef at 5:15 PM on February 7, 2010
Only sodomize things that forgive
They may forgive, but trust me when I tell you, they'll never forget.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:58 PM on February 7 [+] [!]
If you do it well.
posted by yesster at 5:17 PM on February 7, 2010 [5 favorites]
Merlin Mann is a complete jackass. A very lucky jackass that happens to be able to write stuff that makes marginally smart people think they're even smarter when they read it. But still. Complete. Jackass.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:18 PM on February 7, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:18 PM on February 7, 2010 [3 favorites]
By commenting here, you just lost The Game. Oh shit!
posted by furtive at 5:21 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by furtive at 5:21 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
I hope that comment comes with a side of hamburger. Because if not ... awkward!
posted by Solon and Thanks at 5:21 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by Solon and Thanks at 5:21 PM on February 7, 2010
The Sherri Kruger original reminds of of The Way of Mrs Cosmopilite as understood by someone who didn't get the joke.
"Keep a bag for garbage in your car."
"Set your clothes out for the next day the night before."
Although I suppose this could be understood as hewing wood and drawing water.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 5:37 PM on February 7, 2010
"Keep a bag for garbage in your car."
"Set your clothes out for the next day the night before."
Although I suppose this could be understood as hewing wood and drawing water.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 5:37 PM on February 7, 2010
Reminds me of this McSweeney's piece:
Remember when a "website" could only be found in a dusty corner of your basement? When the only thing you would "bookmark" was the latest novel, and "rebooting" meant putting your galoshes back on?posted by The White Hat at 5:46 PM on February 7, 2010 [8 favorites]
Remember when a "pop-up" was something you saw at a baseball game, "cookies" made you think of Mrs. Fields, and "Zip drive" made you think of a giraffe made of marzipan? When, if someone asked you to "download something," you accused them of planting tiny receivers under your skin, and when someone said "screen saver" you shrieked and looked around frantically for Filipinos trying to bite the back of your thighs?
That's when I realized you were crazy.
Is this one of those random generator things? Ya know, pick an verb, a noun, and an adjective, submit and it comes up with a wacky phrase?
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 5:47 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 5:47 PM on February 7, 2010
Wait, is #7 a chair for a make-believe girlfriend?
Number 7 has already been simplified. The complex version goes:
He asks a girl if they can both sit in a chair but he doesn't get nervous
She's not really there
posted by Obscure Reference at 6:07 PM on February 7, 2010 [3 favorites]
Number 7 has already been simplified. The complex version goes:
He asks a girl if they can both sit in a chair but he doesn't get nervous
She's not really there
posted by Obscure Reference at 6:07 PM on February 7, 2010 [3 favorites]
Simplify, simplify, simplify
February 7, 2010 3:52 PM Subscribe
43 ways to simplify your life.
posted by kenko (43 comments total)
posted by Sebmojo at 6:07 PM on February 7, 2010
February 7, 2010 3:52 PM Subscribe
43 ways to simplify your life.
posted by kenko (43 comments total)
posted by Sebmojo at 6:07 PM on February 7, 2010
He asks a girl if they can both sit in a chair but he doesn't get nervous
She's not really there
Metafilter: People should get beat up for stating their beliefs.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:29 PM on February 7, 2010 [8 favorites]
She's not really there
Metafilter: People should get beat up for stating their beliefs.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:29 PM on February 7, 2010 [8 favorites]
This seems stupid. I don't get it.
posted by Slap Factory at 6:37 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Slap Factory at 6:37 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
This seems stupid. I don't get it.
Context: the guy who made this was one Booster and Cheerleader #1 for those personal productivity organisation-a-tron lifehacking super tips (write today's down in your hipster PDA, quick!).
And is now presumably embarrassed at what fluff it all turned out to be.
posted by bonaldi at 6:52 PM on February 7, 2010 [3 favorites]
Context: the guy who made this was one Booster and Cheerleader #1 for those personal productivity organisation-a-tron lifehacking super tips (write today's down in your hipster PDA, quick!).
And is now presumably embarrassed at what fluff it all turned out to be.
posted by bonaldi at 6:52 PM on February 7, 2010 [3 favorites]
This is best of the Web?
posted by limeonaire at 6:55 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by limeonaire at 6:55 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Maybe it is just a passing mood, but I had to stop trying to read this out loud to my husband because I was laughing so hard I started having trouble breathing.
posted by Adridne at 6:57 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Adridne at 6:57 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
I kind of want to build an inhaler nativity
posted by rottytooth at 7:04 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by rottytooth at 7:04 PM on February 7, 2010
lesser shrew, the remaining half becomes clutter, so you freeze it. I don't think you're really embracing the concept fully here.
posted by needs more cowbell at 7:06 PM on February 7, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by needs more cowbell at 7:06 PM on February 7, 2010 [4 favorites]
Merlin Mann is a complete jackass. A very lucky jackass that happens to be able to write stuff that makes marginally smart people think they're even smarter when they read it. But still. Complete. Jackass.
Hey, at least he's not a drive-by douchebag who drops context-free insults, right?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:20 PM on February 7, 2010 [19 favorites]
Hey, at least he's not a drive-by douchebag who drops context-free insults, right?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:20 PM on February 7, 2010 [19 favorites]
Sorry. You're probably not really all that bad. Metafilter knee-jerk snark in general's getting me down lately and I shouldn't take it out on you.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:23 PM on February 7, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:23 PM on February 7, 2010 [3 favorites]
Wife: Why aren't you in bed?
Me: What?
Wife: It's 3:45am.
Me: Where am I?
Wife: In the kitchen.
Me: What?
Wife: Why is there an inhaler nativity on the kitchen table?
Me:What.
posted by jimmythefish at 7:24 PM on February 7, 2010 [11 favorites]
Me: What?
Wife: It's 3:45am.
Me: Where am I?
Wife: In the kitchen.
Me: What?
Wife: Why is there an inhaler nativity on the kitchen table?
Me:What.
posted by jimmythefish at 7:24 PM on February 7, 2010 [11 favorites]
Do I need a folder for each on of these?
posted by Mick at 7:25 PM on February 7, 2010 [6 favorites]
posted by Mick at 7:25 PM on February 7, 2010 [6 favorites]
Wait... do I have to get through all of that stuff before I can do "Illuminated panty shrine"?
posted by sammyo at 7:30 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by sammyo at 7:30 PM on February 7, 2010
Vibrissae: “Trouble is, these tips leave one with no life. Pretty useless - and frankly, hopelessly uncute.”
smoke: “I see you have simplified your life by commenting before reading.”
Bullshit. I'd like to meet a person who's amputated their favorite limb and put out their one good eye with an icepick who has any kind of life at all.
posted by koeselitz at 7:30 PM on February 7, 2010
smoke: “I see you have simplified your life by commenting before reading.”
Bullshit. I'd like to meet a person who's amputated their favorite limb and put out their one good eye with an icepick who has any kind of life at all.
posted by koeselitz at 7:30 PM on February 7, 2010
Most of these were taken from the Engrish wording on Japanese snack food packaging.
posted by gimonca at 8:02 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by gimonca at 8:02 PM on February 7, 2010
Merlin Mann is a complete jackass.
Here's the weird thing though, he's not. He has a jackass persona. The thing that is so odd about him, to me, is that he's okay with this persona being the way really most of the internet world knows about him. He's got a nice life and family and friends and some things he cares about that he wants to get across to people. And the way to do this, to my read, is to have a sort of mad scientist guy with a wicked sense of humor who is also sort of an asshole post them to his twitter/blog/whatever.
I mean I may be wrong, he may be a total jackass. And I think I'd be pissed if I drank all the GTD Koolaid because I was into the way he presented it and now I'm watching him do an about face and deciding suddenly quality matters? Then again, I might be okay with it because hey I make it home for dinner now and I'm not afraid of my inbox. Maybe.
And at the end of the day the critique of a lot of people's blogs or facebooks or twitters or whatever is "well who gives a shit what you think?" And Merlin is one of those people who can answer that question with a long list of "well these people do..." and he knows he has that sort of influence and yet he's not just another ad-pandering bullshit salesman. Which I think is, sort of, something.
Maybe he'll really douche out when his book is published but I think he's one of those people who sort of likes being himself, or an edgy version of himself, and has found that other people sort of like that too. We should all be so lucky to have people who listen to us when we think we have something important to say.
I'm sorry, this was not at all snarky.
44. errrr, I got nothing.
posted by jessamyn at 8:13 PM on February 7, 2010 [17 favorites]
Here's the weird thing though, he's not. He has a jackass persona. The thing that is so odd about him, to me, is that he's okay with this persona being the way really most of the internet world knows about him. He's got a nice life and family and friends and some things he cares about that he wants to get across to people. And the way to do this, to my read, is to have a sort of mad scientist guy with a wicked sense of humor who is also sort of an asshole post them to his twitter/blog/whatever.
I mean I may be wrong, he may be a total jackass. And I think I'd be pissed if I drank all the GTD Koolaid because I was into the way he presented it and now I'm watching him do an about face and deciding suddenly quality matters? Then again, I might be okay with it because hey I make it home for dinner now and I'm not afraid of my inbox. Maybe.
And at the end of the day the critique of a lot of people's blogs or facebooks or twitters or whatever is "well who gives a shit what you think?" And Merlin is one of those people who can answer that question with a long list of "well these people do..." and he knows he has that sort of influence and yet he's not just another ad-pandering bullshit salesman. Which I think is, sort of, something.
Maybe he'll really douche out when his book is published but I think he's one of those people who sort of likes being himself, or an edgy version of himself, and has found that other people sort of like that too. We should all be so lucky to have people who listen to us when we think we have something important to say.
I'm sorry, this was not at all snarky.
44. errrr, I got nothing.
posted by jessamyn at 8:13 PM on February 7, 2010 [17 favorites]
"something something [something]" is the most elegant joke structure known to humans.I'm going with "something something ['something something [something]']." Meta-humor, dontcha know.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:26 PM on February 7, 2010
something something meow meow something
posted by The Whelk at 8:27 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 8:27 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: Embrace hug love hug meow meow
posted by blue_beetle at 8:27 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by blue_beetle at 8:27 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
"A good woman is like a stucco birdcage: rough on the outside, but heavy."
"Life is like a can of pears, only more oblong."
"Why trade damp firewood for the love of a bearded butcher?"
-MAD Proverbs.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:54 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
"Life is like a can of pears, only more oblong."
"Why trade damp firewood for the love of a bearded butcher?"
-MAD Proverbs.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:54 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Life is like a box of chocolates - made in a factory from materials all around the globe via exploited labor and then chemically treated and stored for maximum profit.
posted by The Whelk at 8:59 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 8:59 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Mike has something he wants to tell you (courtesy of AT&T).
posted by filthy light thief at 9:02 PM on February 7, 2010
posted by filthy light thief at 9:02 PM on February 7, 2010
Jessamyn,
I think his burnout on GTD was that almost all of it was like this. That, despite the name, everything started becoming about fiddling with your system rather than actually producing. When the rebirth of the 43 Folders podcast happened a couple of months ago, it wasn't about using the system of GTD to gtd, it was about giving yourself time to do those things. He had a break through, and it was wonderful.
As for his persona, he called his Twitter feed an outlet for his id, and Kung Fu Grippe, while a little more focused, is sort of the same. And, of course, You Look Nice Today is about, to paraphrase Mann, the executive that read an article in the in-flight magazine about the Internet, but he only read the first page.
I don't need to tell you why this list is funny (though I can speak to everyone, I suppose). I believe it was Mann, but it could have many others, even folk here, who spoke to the insult to readers' intelligence that these constant list-generating websites create. It's not content, it's filler. This is his perspective. I imagine lists like these are Mann yelling at the 'Tubes.
Anyways, I'm rambling. I love my Hipster PDA, though.
posted by gc at 9:05 PM on February 7, 2010
I think his burnout on GTD was that almost all of it was like this. That, despite the name, everything started becoming about fiddling with your system rather than actually producing. When the rebirth of the 43 Folders podcast happened a couple of months ago, it wasn't about using the system of GTD to gtd, it was about giving yourself time to do those things. He had a break through, and it was wonderful.
As for his persona, he called his Twitter feed an outlet for his id, and Kung Fu Grippe, while a little more focused, is sort of the same. And, of course, You Look Nice Today is about, to paraphrase Mann, the executive that read an article in the in-flight magazine about the Internet, but he only read the first page.
I don't need to tell you why this list is funny (though I can speak to everyone, I suppose). I believe it was Mann, but it could have many others, even folk here, who spoke to the insult to readers' intelligence that these constant list-generating websites create. It's not content, it's filler. This is his perspective. I imagine lists like these are Mann yelling at the 'Tubes.
Anyways, I'm rambling. I love my Hipster PDA, though.
posted by gc at 9:05 PM on February 7, 2010
Trouble is, these tips leave one with no life. Pretty useless - and frankly, hopelessly uncute.
I see you have simplified your life by commenting before reading.
Or complicated your life greatly by taking everything at face value. (Though perhaps that would make everything simpler for you, but much more tiring for everyone around you.)
posted by filthy light thief at 9:51 PM on February 7, 2010
I see you have simplified your life by commenting before reading.
Or complicated your life greatly by taking everything at face value. (Though perhaps that would make everything simpler for you, but much more tiring for everyone around you.)
posted by filthy light thief at 9:51 PM on February 7, 2010
>>Eating half of each pet seems like it would complicate things, what with half of each pet laying around uneaten and stinking up the place.
>Eating half of each pet seems like it would complicate things, what with half of each pet laying around uneaten and stinking up the place.
No, no, no. The answer is #6 - Wear discarded food.
Would someone mind explaining what GTD is? It's a little annoying to have context-free posts that require you know a big backstory before you get the joke. Isn't that what "MORE INSIDE" is for?
posted by msalt at 10:58 PM on February 7, 2010
>Eating half of each pet seems like it would complicate things, what with half of each pet laying around uneaten and stinking up the place.
No, no, no. The answer is #6 - Wear discarded food.
Would someone mind explaining what GTD is? It's a little annoying to have context-free posts that require you know a big backstory before you get the joke. Isn't that what "MORE INSIDE" is for?
posted by msalt at 10:58 PM on February 7, 2010
It's a little annoying to have context-free posts that require you know a big backstory before you get the joke.
I found the list self-standingly funny.
posted by kenko at 11:07 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
I found the list self-standingly funny.
posted by kenko at 11:07 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
GTD is Getting Things Done. It's capitalized because it's a system, meant to enable actual effectiveness in the day-to-day; it's mocked because, as mentioned upthread, it's easy to turn it into an endless recursive mess of lists and focusing whose only effect is making you feel like you accomplished something when, in fact, you wasted 2 hours of your time.
posted by Fraxas at 11:18 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Fraxas at 11:18 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
#44: Remove torrent once downloaded, don't seed.
posted by turgid dahlia at 12:13 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by turgid dahlia at 12:13 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
#45: Pubic hair and coffee grounds add much-needed bulk to a depleted tobacco pouch.
#46: Everybody is wearing glasses like that, don't buy those frames.
posted by turgid dahlia at 12:15 AM on February 8, 2010
#46: Everybody is wearing glasses like that, don't buy those frames.
posted by turgid dahlia at 12:15 AM on February 8, 2010
This seems stupid. I don't get it.
Finally - another truly enlightened person.
posted by Vibrissae at 12:26 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Finally - another truly enlightened person.
posted by Vibrissae at 12:26 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
GTD is pretty good for the "Getting Things" part of the problem. If you have productivity problems that stem from forgetting/not knowing what tasks you need to do and when you need to do them, then David Allen has a bunch of systems and tips that might help. These basically boil down to:
1. Set up various kinds of "inboxes" to ensure that as soon as a task arrives in your life, this fact is recorded somewhere. Now you're not trying to remember your to-do list, and not worrying about having forgotten something.
2. Spend a block of time paying close attention to the way you organise your notes, reminders and associated documents, and then set things up so that you don't have to pay close attention to it in future. Your organisational system should become habitual and invisible, in the same way that, for example, you don't have to figure out anew every day where dirty plates should be put.
A lot of people have these kinds of problems, and a lot of people swear by David Allen's proposed solutions to them. However, despite the title, GTD only helps in the "Getting Things" phase of the process -- it helps you get things onto your to-do list, but you're on your own when it comes time to getting them Done. If your problems are motivational or procrastinational, being told "Now do the next thing on your to-do list" isn't much help. And if your problem is that you're too easily distracted by tweaking systems and details instead of doing productive work, something like GTD will be nothing but a great big sticky spider-web.
posted by logopetria at 12:30 AM on February 8, 2010 [8 favorites]
1. Set up various kinds of "inboxes" to ensure that as soon as a task arrives in your life, this fact is recorded somewhere. Now you're not trying to remember your to-do list, and not worrying about having forgotten something.
2. Spend a block of time paying close attention to the way you organise your notes, reminders and associated documents, and then set things up so that you don't have to pay close attention to it in future. Your organisational system should become habitual and invisible, in the same way that, for example, you don't have to figure out anew every day where dirty plates should be put.
A lot of people have these kinds of problems, and a lot of people swear by David Allen's proposed solutions to them. However, despite the title, GTD only helps in the "Getting Things" phase of the process -- it helps you get things onto your to-do list, but you're on your own when it comes time to getting them Done. If your problems are motivational or procrastinational, being told "Now do the next thing on your to-do list" isn't much help. And if your problem is that you're too easily distracted by tweaking systems and details instead of doing productive work, something like GTD will be nothing but a great big sticky spider-web.
posted by logopetria at 12:30 AM on February 8, 2010 [8 favorites]
"Illuminated panty shrine" intrigues and disturbs in equal measure.
posted by malusmoriendumest at 1:08 AM on February 8, 2010
posted by malusmoriendumest at 1:08 AM on February 8, 2010
msalt: “Would someone mind explaining what GTD is? It's a little annoying to have context-free posts that require you know a big backstory before you get the joke. Isn't that what "MORE INSIDE" is for?”
What on earth do you mean? This was hilarious. You needed a backstory?
I didn't even know what in God's name 'GTD' was - had never even seen the acronym - until I clicked into this thread. And frankly I didn't care - still don't. This link is quite funny entirely apart from whatever GTD is.
posted by koeselitz at 1:33 AM on February 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
What on earth do you mean? This was hilarious. You needed a backstory?
I didn't even know what in God's name 'GTD' was - had never even seen the acronym - until I clicked into this thread. And frankly I didn't care - still don't. This link is quite funny entirely apart from whatever GTD is.
posted by koeselitz at 1:33 AM on February 8, 2010 [2 favorites]
Metafilter: People should get beat up for stating their beliefs.
AFAICTTMBGFTW
posted by kittyprecious at 5:32 AM on February 8, 2010
AFAICTTMBGFTW
posted by kittyprecious at 5:32 AM on February 8, 2010
As someone who's actually *met* the guy, actually had a conversation with the fellow, I can say Merlin Mann is certainly not a jackass. He's one of the least jackassy people I know.
But, you know, rock on with your false assumptions, Cool Papa Bell.
posted by grubi at 6:06 AM on February 8, 2010
But, you know, rock on with your false assumptions, Cool Papa Bell.
posted by grubi at 6:06 AM on February 8, 2010
They should have added "fart more. Breathe less"
posted by stormpooper at 6:19 AM on February 8, 2010
posted by stormpooper at 6:19 AM on February 8, 2010
Merlin's a pretty hoopy frood, actually, and has extended personal hospitality and kindness to me on several occasions. Perhaps Cool Papa Bell has had some unpleasant dealings with him, but I am going to jump on the "Merlin is not a jackass" bandwagon right now.
5ive reasons that I think Merlin is not a jackass, but is a swell guy and all haters should suck it:
1. Made me a perfect martini once, and didn't flinch when I knocked the glass over and broke it.
2. Bacon Ray.
3. Let me crash on his couch on the journey home from a certain filthy hippie festival that I attended.
4. Starbuster2000.
5. Did a great interview with Hodgman.
posted by Cookiebastard at 6:30 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
5ive reasons that I think Merlin is not a jackass, but is a swell guy and all haters should suck it:
1. Made me a perfect martini once, and didn't flinch when I knocked the glass over and broke it.
2. Bacon Ray.
3. Let me crash on his couch on the journey home from a certain filthy hippie festival that I attended.
4. Starbuster2000.
5. Did a great interview with Hodgman.
posted by Cookiebastard at 6:30 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Seconding Cookiebastard's #2. Bacon Ray was so very very awesome.
posted by grubi at 7:15 AM on February 8, 2010
posted by grubi at 7:15 AM on February 8, 2010
I think his burnout on GTD was that almost all of it was like this.
I really like(d) 43folders, both in its productivity-boosterism phase and its corrective phase. What I never really understood was what happened to Merlin that caused such an extraordinarily strong reaction against all the pointless fluff. I mean, I've always known that 60% of my enjoyment of making lists and schedules and systems wasn't really helpful for getting work done, but so what, as long as I don't spend all day designing systems of productivity? And in gc's link, Merlin is mocking "Autofocus", which whatever you make of its name is actually a really insightful, simple approach, waaaaay better than GTD, that works precisely because it's mockingly simple — almost just a to-do list, but, crucially, not quite. It thus avoids most of the system-fiddling that Merlin seems to hate so violently.
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 8:47 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
I really like(d) 43folders, both in its productivity-boosterism phase and its corrective phase. What I never really understood was what happened to Merlin that caused such an extraordinarily strong reaction against all the pointless fluff. I mean, I've always known that 60% of my enjoyment of making lists and schedules and systems wasn't really helpful for getting work done, but so what, as long as I don't spend all day designing systems of productivity? And in gc's link, Merlin is mocking "Autofocus", which whatever you make of its name is actually a really insightful, simple approach, waaaaay better than GTD, that works precisely because it's mockingly simple — almost just a to-do list, but, crucially, not quite. It thus avoids most of the system-fiddling that Merlin seems to hate so violently.
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 8:47 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
For those puzzled by the list This video gets more directly to the point.
I think the point of Merlin Mann is not to provide you with new unique insights, but instead to remind you of basic stuff you already knew but have gotten distracted by life enough to forget. I think it's kind of like what my mom gets out of church. She already knows they are going to tell her to be nice to other people(mostly), but it helps keep you on track when you have a person who spends most of their time thinking about religion and philosophy get up and explain to you why its a good idea once a week. The same goes for Merlin and the cult of productivity.
posted by edbles at 9:17 AM on February 8, 2010
I think the point of Merlin Mann is not to provide you with new unique insights, but instead to remind you of basic stuff you already knew but have gotten distracted by life enough to forget. I think it's kind of like what my mom gets out of church. She already knows they are going to tell her to be nice to other people(mostly), but it helps keep you on track when you have a person who spends most of their time thinking about religion and philosophy get up and explain to you why its a good idea once a week. The same goes for Merlin and the cult of productivity.
posted by edbles at 9:17 AM on February 8, 2010
What on earth do you mean? This was hilarious. You needed a backstory?
I laughed, I even played along before asking my question. Still think it's kind of hipsterish and in-joky to post something with a significant backstory, and discuss that obliquely in comments, without putting some kind of context link, however subtle, in your FPP. Maybe a tiny smalled asterisk, if you need to be super subtle about it for coolness.
posted by msalt at 9:46 AM on February 8, 2010
I laughed, I even played along before asking my question. Still think it's kind of hipsterish and in-joky to post something with a significant backstory, and discuss that obliquely in comments, without putting some kind of context link, however subtle, in your FPP. Maybe a tiny smalled asterisk, if you need to be super subtle about it for coolness.
posted by msalt at 9:46 AM on February 8, 2010
Merlin Mann is a complete jackass.
Well, about 50% of his internet persona is, and it seems to be an image that he purposely cultivates. Beneath it all is a fairly solid philosophy, though. For those who don't get this, here's a brief attempt at an explanation:
You know how everything is a "hack" these days? And how you can literally spend all day reading about productivity tips, and installing various bits of software that will make you betterfasterstrongerhealthiermoreappealingtotheoppositesex?
Merlin used to push this particular form of crack. Along the way, he came up with some really nice bits, too, including the whole idea of "Inbox Zero". As the productivity blogosphere has grown larger though, he began to realize that most of it is useless wankery and top-ten lists full of marginal advice - that the sites that are trying to help you stop procrastinating have themselves become a form of procrastination.
This all went down at about the same time I was growing sick of it and unsubscribed from lifehacker and another few sites pushing this particular brand of productivity porn.
In his more recent writings and videos, he's been pushing more basic ideas. You want to write a book? Then throw away your super-special writing software and time-trackers and mind-mapping software. Just sit down and fucking write. Don't think about it, don't make excuses, just get to work.
Admittedly, his super-snarky presentation will turn off some people, but in this age of perpetual distraction and infinite ways to waste our time, it's a message well-worth listening to.
posted by chrisamiller at 10:02 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Well, about 50% of his internet persona is, and it seems to be an image that he purposely cultivates. Beneath it all is a fairly solid philosophy, though. For those who don't get this, here's a brief attempt at an explanation:
You know how everything is a "hack" these days? And how you can literally spend all day reading about productivity tips, and installing various bits of software that will make you betterfasterstrongerhealthiermoreappealingtotheoppositesex?
Merlin used to push this particular form of crack. Along the way, he came up with some really nice bits, too, including the whole idea of "Inbox Zero". As the productivity blogosphere has grown larger though, he began to realize that most of it is useless wankery and top-ten lists full of marginal advice - that the sites that are trying to help you stop procrastinating have themselves become a form of procrastination.
This all went down at about the same time I was growing sick of it and unsubscribed from lifehacker and another few sites pushing this particular brand of productivity porn.
In his more recent writings and videos, he's been pushing more basic ideas. You want to write a book? Then throw away your super-special writing software and time-trackers and mind-mapping software. Just sit down and fucking write. Don't think about it, don't make excuses, just get to work.
Admittedly, his super-snarky presentation will turn off some people, but in this age of perpetual distraction and infinite ways to waste our time, it's a message well-worth listening to.
posted by chrisamiller at 10:02 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
I've never heard of the guy, I have no idea who he is, and I've certainly never seen anything he's done. But, personally, I don't get him.
If he really cared what people who've never heard of him thought about the things he may or may not have ever said or done, then he'd have the sense to quit doing hard-to-explain bullshit we've never heard of, and just focus on more consistently doing or not doing and saying or not saying things that we'd never like anyway if we'd heard of them (which we haven't) but which when we DID hear about them (which we won't) would make it way easier to explain why we don't like him to people who could care less who either of us is anyway. I mean, I know I do and, consequently, I don't. Maybe that's just me, and I'm fine with all of that.
Frankly, even though I've never heard of this guy and hate him already, I am so bored with his lack of interest in my boredom, disdain, and lack of interest that I have completely lost any interest in any part of this. Even in my own lack of interest and, to some extent — yes — even in my own boredom with his disdain, in my total lack of interest in his boredom with my disdain, let alone in my utter lack of interest in his disdain for my boredom with his stupid lack of stupid interest.
But, most especially irksome to me — just on a strictly personal level? — as someone who's never heard of this guy and never liked anything he's done anyway, I think it's appalling that he has so little respect for the people who don't know or care who he is. As a well-known person whom no one's ever heard of, he has a very real responsibility to show proper respect to the people he damn well knows would hate him if they'd ever heard of him (which they haven't).
If I'd ever heard of this guy (which I haven't) I'd say he at least owes us that much. At least.
So, yes. Jackass.
Next.
posted by merlinmann at 10:12 AM on February 8, 2010 [83 favorites]
If he really cared what people who've never heard of him thought about the things he may or may not have ever said or done, then he'd have the sense to quit doing hard-to-explain bullshit we've never heard of, and just focus on more consistently doing or not doing and saying or not saying things that we'd never like anyway if we'd heard of them (which we haven't) but which when we DID hear about them (which we won't) would make it way easier to explain why we don't like him to people who could care less who either of us is anyway. I mean, I know I do and, consequently, I don't. Maybe that's just me, and I'm fine with all of that.
Frankly, even though I've never heard of this guy and hate him already, I am so bored with his lack of interest in my boredom, disdain, and lack of interest that I have completely lost any interest in any part of this. Even in my own lack of interest and, to some extent — yes — even in my own boredom with his disdain, in my total lack of interest in his boredom with my disdain, let alone in my utter lack of interest in his disdain for my boredom with his stupid lack of stupid interest.
But, most especially irksome to me — just on a strictly personal level? — as someone who's never heard of this guy and never liked anything he's done anyway, I think it's appalling that he has so little respect for the people who don't know or care who he is. As a well-known person whom no one's ever heard of, he has a very real responsibility to show proper respect to the people he damn well knows would hate him if they'd ever heard of him (which they haven't).
If I'd ever heard of this guy (which I haven't) I'd say he at least owes us that much. At least.
So, yes. Jackass.
Next.
posted by merlinmann at 10:12 AM on February 8, 2010 [83 favorites]
"Illuminated Panty Shrine" might simplify things, and then might not, depending on where and when you set it up.
posted by Oyéah at 10:36 AM on February 8, 2010
posted by Oyéah at 10:36 AM on February 8, 2010
From the via link: 4. Get rid of (or at least reduce) commitments that you do out of obligation.
I don't think they know what "obligation" means...
posted by Mental Wimp at 11:01 AM on February 8, 2010
I don't think they know what "obligation" means...
posted by Mental Wimp at 11:01 AM on February 8, 2010
bonaldi, logopetria, game warden: thx very much for the context.
MM: heh. And yet, best tip for simplifying? Think less.
posted by msalt at 11:01 AM on February 8, 2010
MM: heh. And yet, best tip for simplifying? Think less.
posted by msalt at 11:01 AM on February 8, 2010
Wait... do I have to get through all of that stuff before I can do "Illuminated panty shrine"?
I hope not, because I've already got one.
posted by FatherDagon at 11:13 AM on February 8, 2010
I hope not, because I've already got one.
posted by FatherDagon at 11:13 AM on February 8, 2010
Is it an illuminated shrine of/to panties, or a shrine to/of illuminated panties?
posted by me3dia at 11:16 AM on February 8, 2010
posted by me3dia at 11:16 AM on February 8, 2010
God bless Merlin Mann.
posted by YoungAmerican at 11:33 AM on February 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by YoungAmerican at 11:33 AM on February 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
Still think it's kind of hipsterish and in-joky to post something with a significant backstory, and discuss that obliquely in comments, without putting some kind of context link, however subtle, in your FPP.
Check this, msalt: I didn't know that backstory. I got the link from a friend. As I said above, I found it funny.
More accurately, I had a vague awareness of Merlin Mann as one of those "getconfident, stupidorganized, jackass!" peddlers, but wasn't at all aware that he had since recanted or even that Kung Fu Grippe was his work (I guess I saw his name in the right-hand column, but it didn't really register).
Can one be make an in-joke, when one is on the outside of the joke? I suspect not. But why go into it? Forgive me; I knew not what I did.
posted by kenko at 11:50 AM on February 8, 2010
Check this, msalt: I didn't know that backstory. I got the link from a friend. As I said above, I found it funny.
More accurately, I had a vague awareness of Merlin Mann as one of those "get
Can one be make an in-joke, when one is on the outside of the joke? I suspect not. But why go into it? Forgive me; I knew not what I did.
posted by kenko at 11:50 AM on February 8, 2010
"Illuminated panty shrine"?
Sounds like Pooty Tang wrote that.
posted by grubi at 11:56 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Sounds like Pooty Tang wrote that.
posted by grubi at 11:56 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Oyéah: ""Illuminated Panty Shrine" might simplify things, and then might not, depending on where and when you set it up."
As usual, the Japanese are way ahead of us on this.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 12:13 PM on February 8, 2010
As usual, the Japanese are way ahead of us on this.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 12:13 PM on February 8, 2010
You know that old magazine-filler question about how if you could pick three people from history to have a dinner with, who would it be? Well, my last two always fluctuate (currently Neil Patrick Harris and Thomas Jefferson), but the first is always Merlin Mann.
I was lucky enough to meet him last summer, and he's a hell of a guy.
posted by ColdChef at 12:31 PM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
I was lucky enough to meet him last summer, and he's a hell of a guy.
posted by ColdChef at 12:31 PM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Check this, msalt: I didn't know that backstory. I got the link from a friend. As I said above, I found it funny.
Fair enough, then. Never mind.
posted by msalt at 1:03 PM on February 8, 2010
Fair enough, then. Never mind.
posted by msalt at 1:03 PM on February 8, 2010
Cool Papa Bell: “Merlin Mann is a complete jackass. A very lucky jackass that happens to be able to write stuff that makes marginally smart people think they're even smarter when they read it. But still. Complete. Jackass.”
For what it's worth, I agree wholeheartedly with this - that guy is just a complete and utter jackass. I mean, come on - "Blinded By The Light?" Jesus, if you're going to pick just one Bruce Springsteen song to cover, why the fuck would you pick the one with incomprehensible lyrics which apparently deal with douching? Yeah, guy, we get it - MiniMoogs are cool and all - but take your lame prog-rock space-jizz elsewhere, please.
posted by koeselitz at 3:10 PM on February 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
For what it's worth, I agree wholeheartedly with this - that guy is just a complete and utter jackass. I mean, come on - "Blinded By The Light?" Jesus, if you're going to pick just one Bruce Springsteen song to cover, why the fuck would you pick the one with incomprehensible lyrics which apparently deal with douching? Yeah, guy, we get it - MiniMoogs are cool and all - but take your lame prog-rock space-jizz elsewhere, please.
posted by koeselitz at 3:10 PM on February 8, 2010 [3 favorites]
So if I want to combine #18 and #34, do I have to get the forgiveness before the euthanization or can I just assume that it's implied?
posted by quin at 3:11 PM on February 8, 2010
posted by quin at 3:11 PM on February 8, 2010
I still do.
posted by koeselitz at 3:39 PM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by koeselitz at 3:39 PM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]
Just for the alternate timeline record...
#24 Icepick to one good eye-
is not nearly as self-destructive as it seems on it's face...
Especially once you learn that the "Icepick" is in fact a dance move. And 'One Good Eye' is a band. It is from a varied future time-line, wherein third eye blind didn't have such a hit with jumper, and Semi-charmed-life, and thus broke up, later reforming, as the band "one good eye"... which went on to great fame and success thus inspiring the dance style, perhaps thusly inspiring this list. I like this.
posted by infinite intimation at 3:58 PM on February 8, 2010
He's totally saying douche, there's no way "edition" or whatever he's supposed to be singing could be mangled like that.
posted by drezdn at 4:44 PM on February 8, 2010
posted by drezdn at 4:44 PM on February 8, 2010
merlin mann's twitter feed fits the bill of best of the web, even if it took me months to decide not to click the "stop following" button. His sarcasm is sublime, and if you'll excuse me now I have some work to do.
posted by furtive at 5:14 PM on February 8, 2010
posted by furtive at 5:14 PM on February 8, 2010
I was lucky enough to get to hang out with Merlin for a bunch of a weekend last year, and I didn't really know a lot about him or his persona beforehand (I knew some, not a lot).
I'm here to tell you that he is a goofy sweetheart, an insecure and utterly adorable chatterbox, and a deeply nice and brilliant man. I was smitten with him instantly and just sat and watched his mind and humor race for 2 days, had a blast, and laughed my fucking ass off.
And I generally hate everyone.
posted by tristeza at 7:59 PM on February 8, 2010
I'm here to tell you that he is a goofy sweetheart, an insecure and utterly adorable chatterbox, and a deeply nice and brilliant man. I was smitten with him instantly and just sat and watched his mind and humor race for 2 days, had a blast, and laughed my fucking ass off.
And I generally hate everyone.
posted by tristeza at 7:59 PM on February 8, 2010
This reminds me of my "100 things" list that I put together way back in 2004 when everyone was making those "100 things about me" lists on there blog diaryland.
I haven't looked at that post in a long time and it cracked me up that I was chastising my self for being 2 years two late for the trend.
posted by hubs at 12:09 AM on February 10, 2010
I haven't looked at that post in a long time and it cracked me up that I was chastising my self for being 2 years two late for the trend.
posted by hubs at 12:09 AM on February 10, 2010
You want to write a book? Then throw away your super-special writing software and time-trackers and mind-mapping software. Just sit down and fucking write. Don't think about it, don't make excuses, just get to work.
Look at this fucking blog-to-book deal!
posted by fixedgear at 5:06 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Look at this fucking blog-to-book deal!
posted by fixedgear at 5:06 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
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posted by battleshipkropotkin at 3:57 PM on February 7, 2010