Death Bear

February 11, 2010 10:35 AM

Death Bear

My fave line:
Hill says he thinks of myself more as a moving man than a therapist.

posted by SixteenTons (18 comments total)

This is gonna be a sex thing, isn't it?
posted by The Whelk at 10:36 AM on February 11, 2010

if i ever need anyone rubbed out, i'm going to call panda inc.
posted by pyramid termite at 10:41 AM on February 11, 2010

PANDA ASSASSINS: Adorable. Deadly.
posted by The Whelk at 10:42 AM on February 11, 2010

this is awesome. can he come get my whole high school career?
posted by toodleydoodley at 10:44 AM on February 11, 2010

Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Black Jumpsuit.
posted by The Whelk at 10:45 AM on February 11, 2010

This is gonna be a sex thing, isn't it?

No, that's a different kind of bear, hon.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:50 AM on February 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

I wouldn't even know where to start. He'd need hours at my place.
posted by bunnycup at 10:53 AM on February 11, 2010

You can tell there is real emotion," says Hill. "That's why I started taking the piece very seriously from the beginning."

Or at least as serious as you can be while wearing a plastic bear head.
posted by doctor_negative at 11:00 AM on February 11, 2010

I remember when Death Bear was called garbage bag.
posted by munchingzombie at 11:05 AM on February 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

I accidentally got this guy when I was calling my friend Beth Dare. Now I haven'ty seen her for weeks and worry something might have happened.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:08 AM on February 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

You wait. A thinly disguised Death Bear is going to turn up as a plot device on Law & Order: SVU in about two months.
posted by mudpuppie at 11:35 AM on February 11, 2010

Awesome. It somehow reminds me of Bloody Bird, which makes it even more awesome.
posted by Toby Dammit X at 11:45 AM on February 11, 2010

This is gonna be a sex thing, isn't it?

Apparently so:

Death Bear will "absorb your pain into his cave," at least according to his website.

Bah. They list all the freaky stuff on their website. Then, when they show up at your house and you've got on your chaps and your Huckleberry Hound mask they're all "I don't do that!" and "I have a taser!" And you're out the cost of a drum of alfredo sauce. That stuff doesn't keep, I don't care how big you're refrigerator is.
posted by crake at 11:59 AM on February 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dear God, I did the you're/your mixup. It's true what they say: the grammar is the first thing to go.
posted by crake at 12:02 PM on February 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

This is gonna be a sex thing, isn't it?

You might actually be thinking of his earlier performance....
posted by jrb223 at 1:20 PM on February 11, 2010

I'm going to take a pass. But let me know when Wealth Hare is making the rounds...I might be up for that.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:10 PM on February 11, 2010

I've got a scout sash......the badges that are attached with safety pins ....because my mother never had time to sew them on...death bear
posted by naplesyellow at 11:37 PM on February 11, 2010

How is this not a ploy to score a bunch of free stuff?
posted by JHarris at 9:50 AM on February 12, 2010