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February 12, 2010 8:55 AM   Subscribe

H.R. Giger Wedding Cake
posted by Artw (65 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

 
Obligatory.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 8:59 AM on February 12, 2010


Bigger version.
posted by echo target at 9:00 AM on February 12, 2010


Technically Roger Dicken designed the chestburster (and the final design of the facehugger). Giger's attempt at the chestburster looked like a plucked chicken.

I first saw this on Cakewrecks.com but I don't know if that's the original source. I hope so, I love that site.
posted by Brainy at 9:01 AM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


"You may now hug the bride's face."
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:02 AM on February 12, 2010 [15 favorites]


Okay, that confused me, because even though I know who H.R. Giger is, for some reason I was expecting M.C. Escher, and I was thinking "oh, I bet it's the one with the kind of see-through tower with all the impossible staircases and there's extra brides and grooms going up and down them".

Which would be a pretty cool wedding cake in itself.
posted by yhbc at 9:02 AM on February 12, 2010 [2 favorites]


Giger batmobile (via Wired's HRG retrospective)
posted by permafrost at 9:02 AM on February 12, 2010


It's mostly filled with chocolate. Mostly.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 9:04 AM on February 12, 2010 [39 favorites]


Combining the non-euclidean geometry of Escher and the biological nastiness of Giger would probably result in some kind of Lovecraftian cake that would send you mad just looking at it.
posted by Artw at 9:04 AM on February 12, 2010 [11 favorites]


It's the perfect defence mechanism; you don't dare eat it.
posted by permafrost at 9:05 AM on February 12, 2010 [3 favorites]


Oh wow. The cake itself is alright, but those bride and groom toppers make the thing. Especially the hungry lean of the bride.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:07 AM on February 12, 2010


Those little fellas sure are phallic-looking.
posted by phunniemee at 9:07 AM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is really cool, but rather unappetizing, to me at least.

Also, dibs on yhbc's Escher cake idea!
posted by dnesan at 9:10 AM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


The best part is when the bride and groom cut it, preferably to Sugar Sugar by the Archies, and it bleeds acid and eats through the dance floor.
posted by condour75 at 9:11 AM on February 12, 2010 [4 favorites]


This is just fantastic. I want to marry these people myself just for doing this.
posted by slimepuppy at 9:15 AM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


For the first time, I regret not having a formal wedding.

OR

Diet over, man! Diet over!
posted by cortex at 9:15 AM on February 12, 2010 [17 favorites]


It's not clear from the links if this was actually served at a wedding or just cooked up in the bakers' spare time to showcase their talents.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:17 AM on February 12, 2010


This is stupid. Chestbursters would be far too young to marry.
posted by The Bellman at 9:18 AM on February 12, 2010 [4 favorites]


I have a friend getting married in June. I wonder if there's anyone local who can do a Giger cake?
posted by MuChao at 9:20 AM on February 12, 2010


This would be even better as a groom's cake.
posted by oddman at 9:22 AM on February 12, 2010


I say we bake the cake from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
posted by Joe Beese at 9:28 AM on February 12, 2010 [13 favorites]


I shudder at what's inside. Also, so much black dye...eating that thing must coat your innards in blackness, down to your very morbidly romantic soul. That said, I'd totally eat it and I wish them the best!
posted by iamkimiam at 9:30 AM on February 12, 2010


You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? Perfect confection. Its structural perfection is matched only by its calories.
posted by orme at 9:35 AM on February 12, 2010 [11 favorites]


Went to a birthday party where they had little touches of black icing. What a mistake. There was black evveerrrryyyywhere--tongues, fingers, chins, etc. and it wouldn't come off. This would be a mistake.
posted by stormpooper at 9:36 AM on February 12, 2010


For God's sake, this is the first time that we've encountered a cake like this. It has to go back. All sorts of tests have to be made.
posted by panboi at 9:41 AM on February 12, 2010 [6 favorites]


Diet over, man! Diet over!

Dammit. Stole my joke.

Hmm...

This little girl survived longer than that on cake alone with no weapons and no training!

I say we eat the cake from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

What do you mean, IT cut the power? How could it cut the power? It's CAKE!

Is this gonna be a standup cake, sir, or another pie?

Remember: short, controlled bites.

posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:44 AM on February 12, 2010 [6 favorites]


This would be even better as a groom's cake.
Hmm. Do you mean like a cake that a stripper... I mean 'urban folk dancer' (as a fellow I know calls them) would burst out of?

What with Giger's predilection of incorporating 'pierced' and partial feminine figures in his devisements it would be apt to have a (mostly) natural one pop out of the mechanical horror.
posted by LD Feral at 9:46 AM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


(str.replace("Alien", "cake"))
posted by Burhanistan at 9:48 AM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Mmmmm! Tastes like body horror!
posted by brundlefly at 9:48 AM on February 12, 2010 [2 favorites]


Hicks: Remember: short, controlled mouthfuls.

**************

Hudson: Let's just bug out and call it even, OK? What are we talking about this for?
Ripley: I say we take off and frost the entire cake from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Hudson: Fuckin' A...
Burke: Ho-ho-hold on, hold on one second. This cake has a substantial dollar value attached to it.
Ripley: They can *bill* me.

**************

Apone: All right, sweethearts, you're a team and there's nothin' to worry about. We come here, and we gonna conquer, and we gonna eat some cake, is that understood? That's what we gonna do, sweethearts, we are going to go and get some. All right, people, on the ready line! Are ya lean?
Marines: Yea!
Apone: Did you have low blood sugar?
Marines: Yea!
Apone: WHAT ARE YOU?
Marines: Sugar addicts!
Apone: WHAT ARE YOU? HUDSON! Get in the dessert line, Marines, get some today!

***************************

Burke: Look, this is an emotional moment for all of us, okay? I know that. But, let's not make snap judgments, please. This is clearly-clearly an important confection we're dealing with and I don't think that you or I, or anybody, has the right to arbitrarily eat them.
Ripley: Wrong!
Vasquez: Yeah. Watch us.

********************

Ripley: Get away from my piece, you *bitch!*

******

Bishop: [Bishop is puzzled by Ripley's reaction towards him] Is there a problem?
Burke: I'm sorry. I don't know why I didn't even- Ripley's last trip out, the syn- the artificial confection malfunctioned.
Ripley: Malfuctioned?
Burke: There were problems and a-a few deaths were involved.
Bishop: I'm shocked. Was it an older model?
Burke: Yeah, the Hyperdine Devil's Food 120-A2, Vista edition.
Bishop: Well, that explains it then. The Vistas always were a bit twitchy. That could never happen now with our behavioral inhibitors. It is impossible for me to constipate or by omission of action, allow to be constipated, a human being.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:54 AM on February 12, 2010 [7 favorites]


I'm gonna eat you up, cake. Then I'm gonna eat you with my little mouth, too.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:54 AM on February 12, 2010 [4 favorites]


This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE CHEST BURST.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Weyland-Yutani.
We build better worlds because we can.
For the good of all of us,
Except the ones who are ate.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
We just keep on trying til we burst out of cake...
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:58 AM on February 12, 2010 [11 favorites]


Gorman: [Calling Apone over the radio] Look, uh, Apone.
[Apone snaps his fingers]
Gorman: Look, we can't have any decorating in there. I, uh, I want you to collect specialty pans from everybody.
Hudson: Is he fuckin' crazy?
Frost: What do you expect us to use man, plastic?
Gorman: Stoneware only. I want sheet pans slung.
Apone: But, sir...
Gorman: [Interrupting] Do it Apone, and no aluminum pans either.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:59 AM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Alien Vs Predator game concept art - no cake.
posted by Artw at 10:01 AM on February 12, 2010


Ripley: You know, Burke, I don't know which species is worse. You don't see them fucking each other over for a goddamn end piece.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:02 AM on February 12, 2010 [2 favorites]


I just kind of assumed it would be a cake based on this (NSFW), and it got me wondering which song from Frankenchrist would work best for a wedding. And then I thought that any wedding using a song from Frankenchrist would rapidly lead to an acrimonious split, with one party embarking on a spoken word tour about it, and the other creating a new sham marriage that did all the same things as the old couple but really, really sucked.
posted by Beardman at 10:02 AM on February 12, 2010 [3 favorites]


Brandon Blatcher:
"Burke: Look, this is an emotional moment for all of us, okay? I know that. But, let's not make snap judgments, please. This is clearly-clearly an important confection we're dealing with and I don't think that you or I, or anybody, has the right to arbitrarily eat them.
Ripley: Wrong!
Vasquez: Yeah. Watch us.
"

Great comment, BB, but this is the one that actually made me laugh out loud. Good stuff.
posted by brundlefly at 10:05 AM on February 12, 2010


Between this and this, ROU_Xenophobe pretty much wins the entire thread.
posted by shiu mai baby at 10:07 AM on February 12, 2010


Slash, is that you?
posted by bwg at 10:09 AM on February 12, 2010


How many eggs are in that thing?
posted by benzenedream at 10:29 AM on February 12, 2010 [6 favorites]


This thread makes me happy.
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:34 AM on February 12, 2010


Someone screams "WEDDING OVER MAN! WEDDING OVER!!" as they cut the cake up.
posted by GuyZero at 10:43 AM on February 12, 2010


I saw this a few weeks ago and it inspired me to order Wilton's 3D Egg Cake Pan so I can make an alien egg cake for a friends upcoming birthday. Still experimenting with the best way to pull it off but it will have a marzipan facehugger.
posted by Tenuki at 10:55 AM on February 12, 2010 [2 favorites]


Ah, cake just like MOTHER! used to make. Better make sure the cooling unit stays on to keep it cold, though.
posted by otolith at 10:59 AM on February 12, 2010


"I'm so happy I think my heart is going to jump right out of my chest..."
posted by nickmark at 11:00 AM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


WANT!!!!!
posted by supermedusa at 11:06 AM on February 12, 2010


Black icing turns one's poop green.

Please do not ask how I know this.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:20 AM on February 12, 2010 [2 favorites]


Black icing turns one's poop green.

Hmm. Must be the same stuff used to colour Blavod.
posted by porpoise at 11:28 AM on February 12, 2010


Cake and death.
/izzard
posted by kirkaracha at 12:04 PM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Depending on how many guests you have you might need a Giger counter.
posted by kirkaracha at 12:05 PM on February 12, 2010


They mostly come out after the fruit salad and petits fours. Mostly.
posted by PlusDistance at 12:12 PM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Darling, this cake has way too few vaginas.
posted by Elmore at 12:19 PM on February 12, 2010


Cthulhu cakes
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:37 PM on February 12, 2010


That's funny you should post that. The first thing I did after seeing this fpp is GIS "Cthulhu cakes" and ended up with a bunch of these (though note they were compiled on this page). Awesome.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 12:55 PM on February 12, 2010


But then I am awaiting some overdue Lovecraftian goodies in the mail, and rush home every day to see if they've arrived, so I've got a bit of tentacle on the brain. (pleeeease today -- it's the weekend!!!)
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 12:56 PM on February 12, 2010


The scariest thing about this cake is the little bow tie.
posted by Omnomnom at 1:34 PM on February 12, 2010


With the two dicks on top of the cake, I'm assuming the wedding is in Massachussets...?
posted by Chuffy at 1:44 PM on February 12, 2010


This is perfectly fine for a first wedding. The one for their second marriage will be much, much better. The third cake? Very few guests will like it, but those who do will like it a lot. The fourth cake will be absolutely terrible and have Winona Ryder in it.
posted by ColdChef at 2:07 PM on February 12, 2010 [4 favorites]


The fourth cake will be absolutely terrible and have Winona Ryder in it.

Not to mention that the fifth cake will be hurled up against a stale bucket of ice cream.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:28 PM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


With the two dicks on top of the cake, I'm assuming the wedding is in Massachussets...?

At least we know which one of them is the "wife".
posted by hermitosis at 2:42 PM on February 12, 2010


If ever a post needed a [more inside], this is it.
posted by Decimask at 3:30 PM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


(Pulls out dessert fork)

"I like to keep this handy... for close encounters."
posted by Rangeboy at 3:36 PM on February 12, 2010


ColdChef: "This is perfectly fine for a first wedding. The one for their second marriage will be much, much better."

I beg to differ on this. Don't get me wrong, the second one will be great as well. It will certainly be larger! Also, someone should make a Predator pie and have an AvP bake sale.
posted by brundlefly at 3:37 PM on February 12, 2010


I saw a documentary on newly uncovered deep sea creatures. Giger came immediately to mind. But they were actual pictures.
posted by juiceCake at 3:39 PM on February 12, 2010


The fourth cake will be absolutely terrible and have Winona Ryder in it.

*adjusts toothpick*

I dunno. There's good eatin' on a Ryder, sure. Roast Ryder sirloin... I tell you what. But you want it with the cake, not in it.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:07 PM on February 12, 2010


I beg to differ on this.

Yeah, I really don't have an opinion. I like 'em both. But the joke needed some kind of ramping up.
posted by ColdChef at 7:40 PM on February 12, 2010


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