Brand New V Day!

February 12, 2010 10:22 PM

Redesigning Valentine's Day. Brand New - a site dedicated to analysis of corporate brand identity - was asked to redesign VDay by Studio 360.

Studio 360 has posed similar challenges in the past - redesign Christmas and (previously on MeFi) redesign the gay flag!

posted by crossoverman (32 comments total)

Eggplant.

I mean don't get me wrong. Valentine's Day is something I could definitely see as being in need of a serious overhaul. But they want to replace the heart with a weird thing that looks like nothing so much as an X, and they think we can ditch the roses for eggplant.

Conclusion: Despite a desire to believe otherwise, it may be that not everything can be rebranded.
posted by Tomorrowful at 10:32 PM on February 12, 2010 [3 favorites]

They replace the heart with a curvy X and provide a list of reasons why, and why it's convenient, and how it can be used, but they don't even mention that X means a kiss as in XOXO? They suggest a mass produced valentine's card tax? Are we sure this isn't satire?
posted by Mizu at 10:48 PM on February 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

Brand New lost my respect when Armin decided to ignore 90+% of his readership and continue touting a crowdsourcing competition where the winner didn't win anything but a flight to party with the agency it was for. Upon complaints about the recession and freelancers getting hit hard, he had the gall to make jokes at their expense.

Doesn't surprise me this presentation is as much of a joke as that Pepsi rebrand, except this is even more pointless; satire or not.
posted by june made him a gemini at 10:51 PM on February 12, 2010

A radioactive puppy does seem like the best valentine's symbol.
posted by maxwelton at 10:52 PM on February 12, 2010 [3 favorites]

I have a suspicion that this is a spoof, but nevertheless, I thought the puppy looked like it was humping something and handing my beloved chillies instead of roses could impact my lifespan negatively. The CVO concept, well this is part of the problem; theyŕe redesigning Valentines day for people like them.
posted by quarsan at 11:59 PM on February 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

Nothing says love like a pair of erect, crossed wieners.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:04 AM on February 13, 2010 [5 favorites]

Are we sure this isn't satire?

For what it's worth, I am sure that is is satire. The "Cupid Redesigned" is a dead giveaway.
posted by battlebison at 12:07 AM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

I think Xfinity has broken my satire detector.
posted by Mizu at 12:18 AM on February 13, 2010 [3 favorites]

if there was anything that would make Valentines day more annoying it would be "re-branding" it.

Personally I think the spate of re-branding just means marketing people are now devoid of ideas....

"Shit I can't think of anything else to shove down the bloated gullet of today's consumers, guess I'll have to go re-brand something and convince people it's NEW. Either that or take some beloved childhood stories and rape modernize, re-mix it".

I know everything is ultimately derivative, I just wish people put more effort into it- kinda like the "Oh-it's-not-plagiarism-if-I-add-a-few-extra-words" chickie babe a few FPPs down.

get off my damn lawn I gots a shotgun!
posted by edgeways at 1:01 AM on February 13, 2010

Um, what? Why is everyone taking this so seriously? Nobody actually gets to re-brand Valentine's Day. This is a what-if scenario, with some interesting thoughts about what marketers could do if the VDay brand was up for grabs. It's done in a professional, "serious" and detailed way because it's a design and brand identity blog. But they aren't honestly suggesting VDay can be re-branded.

Just like you can't rebrand Christmas. And you probably can't rebrand the gay flag!
posted by crossoverman at 1:11 AM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Nobody actually gets to re-brand Valentine's Day

Except Pope Gelasius I, and then Geoffrey Chaucer. So, yeah it does get re-branded at least once a millenia. Maybe we should bring back the old school?

Personally, I'd vote for sexing it up a little bit.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:18 AM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

The best way to rebrand it would be to unbrand it:
1) Enough with the generic cards and chocolate hearts. If you have to give someone something that says you love that person because you're too much of a dufus to just say it and show it, a card would be fine, but make it the mark of a dumbass to give someone a card you didn't make from scratch, and Hallmark cardmaking kits wouldn't count as making it from scratch. Go to the stationery and art supply stores to get some plain card stock and some colored pencils or pens or paint, then sit down and make that card. If it has to be more elaborate, search the house, hit the library, do more than walk into a drug store and buy a generic card off the rack from some guy who gets paid to write that sort of thing. Make it the Greeting Card Association's worst day of the year rather than its second best (after Christmas).
2) Make it a Friday and give everybody a half holiday. In the middle of day, work shuts down, people with mates go to their mates (or not), singles go to singles events (or not), and everybody gets started on going away somewhere for the weekend or at least on having a long Friday of freedom. It would be the perfect day for an orgy. Procrastinators, if they were into the card game, could use the afternoon to create cards to present later that day. People uninterested in the whole thing should not be pressured to do anything but get the hell out of work early -- they could have Fuck That Shit parties or just do whatever they wanted to do on a long afternoon.
posted by pracowity at 3:22 AM on February 13, 2010 [3 favorites]

Tough crowd - I thought it was a fun exercise. I love the CVO handing out pink slips. Crossoverman, I don't think the public will embrace the new logo, but it would make a great personal brand for you.
posted by madamjujujive at 4:22 AM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

What the hell has happened to Kurt Anderson? If this is satire, it's weak eggplant. Let's imagine how "Spy" magazine would have redesigned Valentine's day.
posted by acrasis at 6:02 AM on February 13, 2010

...There IS something to be said for promoting "aphrodisiac" foods, though. Cooking for anyone is sexy anyway, but if you add "and it's aphrodisiac" on top of that...
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:19 AM on February 13, 2010

we suggest selecting from a range of more functional, lasting organic products

Yeah, the best way to show someone you love them is with durian. It's lasting, all right.
posted by cmgonzalez at 6:26 AM on February 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

If someone were to come at me with a CVO card on Valentines day I would dump them immediately. Then I would take them back. Then I would dump them again.

I can understand the appeal of the flying lazer dog and even that smug heart-eating worm. The CVO, though, is inexcusably awful.
posted by Consonants Without Vowels at 6:53 AM on February 13, 2010

I dunno...Heart Worm just doesn't say Floofy Love Hugs to me, maybe because I just keep flashing on the pickled heart in a jar in my Vet's office...the one infested with heartworm.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:03 AM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Am I the only one who found the rebranded heart logo reminiscent of a uterus? The kind of depiction you find on women's pharmaceuticals or the informative pamphlets they gave you in fifth grad to teach you about your period?
posted by Hal Mumkin at 8:27 AM on February 13, 2010

As long as no one takes my marked-down chocolate on February 15th they can do whatever they want with the other, less chocolatey, stuff.
posted by Neofelis at 9:31 AM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

katherineg: The CVO would make me laugh.

Different strokes for different folks and all. I'm not terribly down on the redesign thing as a whole. People flexing their creative muscle is interesting. I just think that particular redesign subverts the subject matter too much. One of the main complaints many people have about any particular holiday is the bland commercialization of it all - and here we have a reimagined mascot that's a C-level officer. The whole thing just seems weirdly cynical to me.

Of course this is just a bunch of philosophical beanplating here from me. However, just as it's OK to redesign things, I'd say that it's also OK to criticise the redesign. Probably should've been more explanative in my first comment.
posted by Consonants Without Vowels at 9:36 AM on February 13, 2010

I'm kind of tone deaf when it comes to design standards: is the color pallet supposed to be perceived as awful as part of the joke, or is it an aesthetic thing that doesn't work for me?
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 9:41 AM on February 13, 2010

It's an amusing exercise and people are projecting their own frustrations upon it.

BEHOLD! The Internet is met with Truth!
posted by kittyprecious at 9:54 AM on February 13, 2010

It's a thought exercise, done for fun. Not everything on the internet is a serious moonshot of reform.

(I liked the laser puppy, but I like lasers and puppies so I guess that's to be expected.)
posted by Turkey Glue at 10:13 AM on February 13, 2010

What do you do when you're branded and you know you're a man?
posted by pracowity at 10:14 AM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

I would love to get a bunch of saffron for valentine's day.
That stuff is expensive.
posted by jeoc at 10:16 AM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sigh.

More intelligent idiots solving problems that don't exist.
posted by Doohickie at 1:32 PM on February 13, 2010

Personally, I would love to get a durian for Valentine's.
I wouldn't try giving it to someone who didn't already love it, though. Many people would read that as a break-up move, I think.

You: "Happy VD! I got you this smooshy, spiky, stink-fruit!"

Her: "What the hell is this? Is this what you think of me?!" *cries*

You: "But it's considered a delicacy in..."

[Door slams.]
posted by apis mellifera at 1:35 PM on February 13, 2010

Ah, durian. For some reason, I was thinking sybian.
posted by pracowity at 2:08 PM on February 13, 2010

i thought this was going to be about V the tv show, the new remake. oh well.
posted by marienbad at 4:25 PM on February 13, 2010

Link, June Made Him a Gemini?
posted by joeclark at 7:33 AM on February 14, 2010

33 comments and still no one has remarked that the new logo looks like cleavage? Bug or feature, I wonder?

Rebranding failure. Expensive for orgnisations that get this shit wrong.
posted by dmt at 8:45 AM on February 15, 2010