Hungry? Why wait? [TLYT]

February 13, 2010 6:45 PM

Mid-Level Seats at your average NBA game: $40 ea. Eight Watery Beers: $60. Hot Dog: $4. Cheerleader Snack? Om Nom Nom
posted by xorry (129 comments total)

Yeah, eight beers and one hot dog sounds about right.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 6:48 PM on February 13, 2010

This is UNIX! I know this!
posted by DU at 6:50 PM on February 13, 2010 [21 favorites]

What.
posted by Brainy at 6:53 PM on February 13, 2010

Yes, Virginia, someone is getting off to this.

First link NSFW Encyclopedia Dramatica page
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:56 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Apparently only an inflatable Bango can beat another inflatable mascot. It must be one of the unwritten rules of basketball.
posted by drezdn at 7:04 PM on February 13, 2010

She died
posted by Damn That Television at 7:07 PM on February 13, 2010 [7 favorites]

.
posted by klarck at 7:11 PM on February 13, 2010 [15 favorites]

This is a metaphor for something, right?
posted by gc at 7:20 PM on February 13, 2010

Hot Dog: $4.

So that's what happens to cheerleaders who get old. I always wondered.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:22 PM on February 13, 2010 [3 favorites]

Violence against women is hilarious!
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:36 PM on February 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

She died

Too soon, bro. Too soon.

/the day Metafilter went too far
posted by codswallop at 7:39 PM on February 13, 2010

Violence against women is hilarious!

Not at all. But a mascot dressed like a colorful dinosaur pretending to eat a cheerleader during a basketball half-time show is pretty amusing.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:43 PM on February 13, 2010 [66 favorites]

Apparently, eight beers isn't enough.
posted by box at 7:43 PM on February 13, 2010

Watching that makes me thinks I've either dropped acid or I'm drinking Kentucky Gentleman. *Looks at the bottle* oh my god, so it's come to this.
posted by nola at 7:47 PM on February 13, 2010 [11 favorites]

Basketball has become a really weird sport.
posted by dirigibleman at 7:49 PM on February 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

> Violence against women is hilarious!

Is that really your take-away from this? Or do you just think metafilter doesn't have enough arguments
posted by churl at 7:51 PM on February 13, 2010 [28 favorites]

Violence against women is hilarious!

Sometimes a silly halftime show gag featuring an oversize mascot costume appearing to consume a cheerleader whole is just a silly halftime show gag featuring an oversize mascot costume appearing to consume a cheerleader whole.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:52 PM on February 13, 2010 [33 favorites]

As a person who does not watch sports in general, I approve of things eating things.
posted by The otter lady at 7:53 PM on February 13, 2010 [9 favorites]

Not xorry enough.
posted by cashman at 7:57 PM on February 13, 2010

Violence against women is hilarious!

Eat me.
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 8:03 PM on February 13, 2010 [18 favorites]

If you look closely at the youtube comments, you'll see that people pretty much agree that it was a stunt and he didn't really eat her.
posted by StickyCarpet at 8:12 PM on February 13, 2010 [88 favorites]

So uh, just cause I'm a music nerd, and I can't help IDing things -- the track in the first clip is a mashup of Fergalicious with the Baltimore Club anthem, Samir's Theme.

The second clip is Madonna - Vogue and the third clip is Prince - Baby I'm a Star, but those are much easier.
posted by empath at 8:13 PM on February 13, 2010

The velociraptor spots you 40 meters away and attacks, accelerating at 4 m/s^2 up to its top speed of 25 m/s. When it spots you, you begin to flee, quickly reaching your top speed of 6 m/s. How far can you get before you're caught and devoured?
posted by niles at 8:20 PM on February 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

Sometimes a silly halftime show gag featuring an oversize mascot costume appearing to consume a cheerleader whole is just a silly halftime show gag

And really, really not worthy of a FPP. Slow snark day?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:42 PM on February 13, 2010

A new favorite quote, from mccarty.tim's second link:

The fantasy may or may not include digestion
posted by mmahaffie at 8:42 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Violence against women is hilarious!

Pope, seriously? Come on. That's borderline trolling.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 8:55 PM on February 13, 2010 [11 favorites]

So uh, just cause I'm a music nerd

well, just cause I'm a nerd nerd, this gave me flashbacks to when I used to be on the floor assembly crew at Bradley Center.

my best guess as to what happened in this clip is that the opposing mascot noted that, at some point in the dance routine, this particular cheerleader tripped on the splintered piece of floor (that occurred when the new crewman lifted *up* on his section instead of opening it like a door, snapping off an 8-inch length of tongue-in-groove. the damage was then repaired with Scotch tape. yes, Scotch tape) and mangled herself. she gamely tried to resume the routine, but the mascot, a seasoned predator and well-accustomed to weeding out the sick and the old, zoned in for the kill.

that's it, folks. there you have it. nature red in tooth and claw.
posted by toodleydoodley at 9:01 PM on February 13, 2010 [5 favorites]

niles: The velociraptor spots you 40 meters away and attacks, accelerating at 4 m/s^2 up to its top speed of 25 m/s. When it spots you, you begin to flee, quickly reaching your top speed of 6 m/s. How far can you get before you're caught and devoured?

More than 30 but fewer than 36 meters, with a total time elapsed of more than 5 but less than 6 seconds?

Else I've had too much beer for word problems.
posted by paisley henosis at 9:15 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

I really want to know exactly how this costume works. It's amazing.
posted by djduckie at 9:17 PM on February 13, 2010

I really want to know exactly how this costume works. It's amazing.

Kind of like this, only with more comical looking guts.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:19 PM on February 13, 2010 [3 favorites]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anAbbFVJlEY&feature=player_embedded

also there is one of these mascot massacres directed towards a man. Happy?
posted by djduckie at 9:20 PM on February 13, 2010

Violence by cartoonish version of a long-extinct animal is hilarious! We have a similar sense of humor, we should hang out some time. I have some outlandish costumes, if you've got the snack-sized friends.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:28 PM on February 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

Please, this is a family website.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:29 PM on February 13, 2010

Actually, if you listen at the end of the first video you hear a woman say "Sums up how I feel about cheer leaders"
posted by delmoi at 9:35 PM on February 13, 2010

If only he'd eat Mark Cuban.
posted by xmutex at 9:39 PM on February 13, 2010 [5 favorites]

I wanna see it barf her back out...
posted by Confess, Fletch at 9:39 PM on February 13, 2010

Her mistake was moving, everyone knows their vision is based on movement.
posted by hellojed at 9:43 PM on February 13, 2010 [8 favorites]

This is goofy. No need to read anything more into this than what it is.
posted by Kloryne at 9:50 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

When did these inflatable mascot costumes become standard? I kinda liked the old ones better.
posted by nooneyouknow at 9:52 PM on February 13, 2010

Yeah, the voraphiles are enjoying this.
posted by LSK at 9:52 PM on February 13, 2010

I assume both of these are made by the same company. I wonder how you'd find out who made these?
posted by LSK at 9:56 PM on February 13, 2010

Clever girl.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 9:57 PM on February 13, 2010 [15 favorites]

And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin' cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercuries and Subarus
And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars
Then, when there's no more cars
You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
One to one, man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move too slow, 'cause the man from Mars
Is through with cars, he's eatin' bars
Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
He's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture, be pure
posted by pianomover at 9:58 PM on February 13, 2010 [8 favorites]

delmoi: Actually, if you listen at the end of the first video you hear a woman say "Sums up how I feel about cheer leaders"

Cheerleaders
posted by pianomover at 10:00 PM on February 13, 2010

It would have been perfect if it regurgitated her back out with vomit-colored streamers and confetti.
posted by Rhomboid at 10:02 PM on February 13, 2010 [7 favorites]

Burhanistan: Kind of like this , only with more comical looking guts."

I love you, Burhanistan.

And:
pianomover: "And out comes a man from Mars[snip]
Rapture Raptor, be pure"

FTFY.

Also:
Metafilter: Apparently, eight beers isn't enough.
posted by yiftach at 10:10 PM on February 13, 2010

I wanna see it barf her back out...

I wanted to see it poop her out. Then I wondered when I had become a ten-year-old boy.
posted by stefanie at 10:13 PM on February 13, 2010 [5 favorites]

He ate the cheerleader because no way could he get a basketball player down his gullet.

Also: eat the cheerleader, eat the world.
posted by bwg at 10:48 PM on February 13, 2010 [4 favorites]

I wanted to see it join the rest of the cheerleaders in a victorious post-dinner dance. Too bad inflatable mascots are like lions and don't move much after having gorged themselves.
posted by Mizu at 10:54 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

You became a ten year old boy the day you hid the Playboy under the mattress.
posted by vapidave at 10:55 PM on February 13, 2010

This raw food diet thing has gone too far.
posted by Tube at 11:10 PM on February 13, 2010

This raw food diet thing has gone too far.

I dunno. A diet of cheerleaders is probably the chemical equivalent of eating a hair salon.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:50 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Pope Guilty: Violence against women is hilarious!

CitrusFreak12: Pope, seriously? Come on. That's borderline trolling.

I don't know about you, but I've had enough of narratives like the one in the third video:
You know, where the villain (Houston Rockets Mascot) beats up on a visibly distressed but passive scantily clad woman before abducting her. Only to be rescued by the violent unilateral efforts of the hero (Bango of the Milwaukee Bucks) who not only metes out his own brand of simplistic justice but does it just in time to prevent the violation (digestion?) of the helpless victim and is then surrounded by blindly appreciative scantily clad women.
posted by Blasdelb at 12:37 AM on February 14, 2010 [10 favorites]

They were creepy, you don't think it's violence, okay, I'll just put a huge plastic bag over your head and push you around. That's not violent at all, it's funny, because you dress in a certain way and have a certain job.

Damn, people, the third cheerleader was pretty clearly not into it. Even if she was playacting it's uncool to playact a forcible abduction like it's normal and funny.
posted by kathrineg at 12:47 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Admiral Haddock beat me to it, but I didn't hear "sums up how I feel about cheerleaders" I think I heard "sums up how I feel about you (co-announcer's name garbled)" which makes it more of a delightful banter between announcers thing. You know, they say the funniest things!
posted by Ghidorah at 1:21 AM on February 14, 2010

Even if she was playacting it's uncool to playact a forcible abduction like it's normal and funny.

I think we can all agree that we don't want to be eaten by cartoon dinosaurs.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:35 AM on February 14, 2010 [6 favorites]

I think we can all agree that we don't want to be eaten by cartoon dinosaurs.

Certainly, I think I'd feel a bit degraded if I were consumed by a giant florescent red dinosaur as the butt of a gendered joke in front of a stadium.

But I don't think it would be to great of a stretch to also agree that depictions of women being violently harassed and abducted by a male bear only to be rescued, or not 5:30, don't necessarily make healthy spectacle, even if it is funny because the people involved represent a popularly disparaged two dimensional stereotype.
posted by Blasdelb at 2:17 AM on February 14, 2010

Damn, people, the third cheerleader was pretty clearly not into it. Even if she was playacting it's uncool to playact a forcible abduction like it's normal and funny.

Is "playacting" different from normal acting? Because when two mascots and a cheerleader perform a skit during halftime, it's pretty clearly acting. It almost sounds like you don't believe this was a carefully choreographed, exhaustively practiced bit of make-believe. It was.
posted by ryanrs at 2:29 AM on February 14, 2010 [21 favorites]

gendered joke in front of a stadium

The profession of women's cheerleading is more or less defined by sexual degradation in front of a clapping audience, in the first place. But even against that backdrop, this still seems more like slapstick than patriarchal subjugation of female breeding stock. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they should eat referees or other game officials during halftime, to drive the point home.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:37 AM on February 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

What I thought I knew about basketball? Out the window. I have thrown it out.

... and it was eaten by a creepy mascot, but that's not the point.
posted by barnacles at 2:41 AM on February 14, 2010

"..don't necessarily make healthy spectacle,..."
That time I found myself accidentally in the Andes I couldn't taste the difference between XX and XY. It was chilly though. I suspect that amorphous mascots might be lacking the papillae that identify the genome as well but I can't find a study to support my position. There is however evidence above that indicates at least a tendency, if not a predilection toward omnivorousness. (forgive me please if that isn't a word)

I've got lettuce and tomato and a faithful though suffering through no fault of it's own pointy robot (someone in middle management typed "tourettes" rather than "Turing" in a memo and there was a cascade of fail, I love him as much as he loves me which is to say madly - creepy to observe I agree but let's not look away) that knows where to find salt and mayo though the pepper grinder is invisible to him (long story, he's embarrassed, I don't think it's an issue) . Children are easily deceived and the slow ones have that delicate balance of fat to meat that all palates, and here I'll assert myself, prize. Warned.
posted by vapidave at 3:44 AM on February 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

If you're going to rail against gender hegemony or something, it's kind of odd to get worked up about the well-worn gag here but not even mention that the cheerleaders are almost always wearing little more than underwear.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:14 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Ok, back in the late 70s on the "Donnie and Marie Show", there was a big costumed character (Sid and Marty Krofft?) that would come on stage and do the same thing. The audience thought it was hilarious, but, as a four-year-old, I found it deeply, deeply terrifying.

Can anyone remember this? None of my friends seem to have seen this back in the day?
posted by zardoz at 4:52 AM on February 14, 2010

Oh, no. That was horrible. I know it was just a joke, but still, that was tough to stomach. All I could think about was the crowd. How shocked they must have been. Do you think they still know how to spell D-E-F-E-N-S-E!
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 4:53 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

1.
I don't know about you, but I've had enough of narratives like the one in the third video ... you know, where the villain (Houston Rockets Mascot) beats up on a visibly distressed but passive scantily clad woman before abducting her. Only to be rescued by the violent unilateral efforts of the hero (Bango of the Milwaukee Bucks) who not only metes out his own brand of simplistic justice but does it just in time to prevent the violation (digestion?) of the helpless victim and is then surrounded by blindly appreciative scantily clad women.
2.
Oh, no. That was horrible. I know it was just a joke, but still, that was tough to stomach. All I could think about was the crowd. How shocked they must have been. Do you think they still know how to spell D-E-F-E-N-S-E!


Where else can you go and have a breakfast of a plate of beans with a side of hamburger for only five bucks? Yay Metafilter!

/Protein charge -- time to hit the gym...
posted by spoobnooble at 5:43 AM on February 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

gendered joke in front of a stadium

I'm not really sure how the joke is "gendered." The joke does not hinge on the fact that the person being eaten is a female, it hinges on the fact that a giant inflatable dinosaur ate someone. It's not like if a man were eaten the crowd would be all "ho hum, that's not amusing in the least."

I think the insinuation that a woman can't participate in a goofy skit without her gender being the most important aspect of her participation is troublesome.
posted by mpbx at 5:51 AM on February 14, 2010 [18 favorites]

Damn, people, the third cheerleader was pretty clearly not into it. Even if she was playacting it's uncool to playact a forcible abduction like it's normal and funny.

Of ourse it's playacting. There's no way a cheerleader's going into one of those things without a lot of help from the cheerleader. On one of the clips you can even see her do a little jump at the last second.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:54 AM on February 14, 2010 [5 favorites]

Cheerleaders were used, because they're both shorter and lighter than men, so the guy in the costume doesn't throw out his back, and she fits into the harness for the "devoured" person. Otherwise, the devouree would probably be a fake ballplayer dressed up as a member of the opposing team, as that would be funnier.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:00 AM on February 14, 2010 [5 favorites]

Oh, sure, because men are always funnier than women.

HAMBURGER
posted by graventy at 6:11 AM on February 14, 2010

The real crime is that a raptor is fucking bird not a dinosaur. I am embarrased for my home town team's name.

I am the cheerleader in the second video and I think you all need to know that the dinosaur is female as any paleontologist or Ross from friends could tell based on the colour. She is eating cheerleaders for the sake of her children!
posted by srboisvert at 6:18 AM on February 14, 2010 [4 favorites]

so the guy in the costume

How do you know it's a guy in the costume?
posted by mpbx at 6:21 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sometimes a silly halftime show gag featuring an oversize mascot costume appearing to consume a cheerleader whole is just a silly halftime show gag featuring an oversize mascot costume appearing to consume a cheerleader whole.

or

I'm not really sure how the joke is "gendered." The joke does not hinge on the fact that the person being eaten is a female, it hinges on the fact that a giant inflatable dinosaur ate someone. It's not like if a man were eaten the crowd would be all "ho hum, that's not amusing in the least."

I think the insinuation that a woman can't participate in a goofy skit without her gender being the most important aspect of her participation is troublesome.

Oh yes? So these mascots also regularly eat male cheerleaders? Referees? Game emcees? The odd fan, male or female? Or does it just happen to work out that it's always the scantily clad women? With the added bonus that a male mascot needs to come to the rescue sometimes?

How is this not a gendered joke again?
posted by Zinger at 6:40 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh dear lord people. How many people have to post videos of these mascots eating men before you get off of this nonsense.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:55 AM on February 14, 2010

Oh yes? So these mascots also regularly eat male cheerleaders? Referees? Game emcees? The odd fan, male or female?

Any dinosaur who's ever tried to get referee shirt scraps out of their teeth can tell you why the scantily clad option is preferable. Or were you totally not thinking of the raptor's needs in this scenario, you speciesist?
posted by Space Coyote at 7:06 AM on February 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Damn, people, the third cheerleader was pretty clearly not into it.

You may find watching the Muppet Movie a harrowing experience.
posted by KokuRyu at 7:33 AM on February 14, 2010 [18 favorites]

So these mascots also regularly eat male cheerleaders? Referees? Game emcees?

I don't know about these mascots specifically, but the Zooperstars (that look generally like these) regularly eat umpires and base coaches at baseball games.

Clammy Sosa doing his thing.
posted by gabey at 7:46 AM on February 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

Violence against women is hilarious!

And with that, I am no longer concerned by the fact that you favorited this comment. Thanks for that. That had been bothering me for a while.

Yes, I hold a grudge longer than the Andes hold snow.
posted by Xezlec at 7:47 AM on February 14, 2010

Oh yes? So these mascots also regularly eat male cheerleaders? Referees? Game emcees? The odd fan, male or female? Or does it just happen to work out that it's always the scantily clad women? With the added bonus that a male mascot needs to come to the rescue sometimes? How is this not a gendered joke again?

Because it has nothing to do with the gender of the person being eaten. The only person reducing the cheerleader in these videos to nothing more than her gender is you.
posted by mpbx at 7:49 AM on February 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oh yes? So these mascots also regularly eat male cheerleaders? Referees? Game emcees? The odd fan, male or female? Or does it just happen to work out that it's always the scantily clad women?

I think they eat cheerleaders. You know, the people whose job it is to practice skits at halftime shows, as opposed to game officials or random people. It turns out that most of these are scantily clad females. And that's a whole other issue.
posted by Xezlec at 7:52 AM on February 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

If you guys are really upset by this, here's a video where the Houston Rockets' inflatable bear mascot eats a cheerleader and her fellow dancers beat the bear into submission, forcing him to vomit her up.
posted by mpbx at 8:02 AM on February 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

[few comments removed - I'd really suggest MeTa if you want to continue the "violence against women" side conversation.]
posted by jessamyn at 8:06 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Personally, I think this derail distracts us from the REAL problem, which is mascot-on-mascot violence. What is this, Thunderdome? Two Furries enter, one furry leaves? Is this what we have become? Shame on us all!
posted by KingEdRa at 8:18 AM on February 14, 2010

Are there any NBA teams with a octopus or squid as a mascot? Then it there could be tentacles, too.

man, you go to 4chan once and it sticks in your brain forever!
posted by joshwa at 8:21 AM on February 14, 2010

Just wait until there's team with a tyrannosaur mascot that picks the raptor and shakes it like a dog's chewtoy.
Until then it will be open season on people who are so scantily dressed that they can't be concealing one of those cool shotguns with the folding stock from the movie.
posted by 445supermag at 8:31 AM on February 14, 2010

Everyone ignored the video where a MAN was the victim. And just a not about the male victim, it would appear that the way the costume is designed made this a lot more difficult. I would imagine it is because of height and weight issues. Those cheerleaders way nothing and so who ever is in the costume is able to easily grab them and help them into place.

I really want to know exactly how this works because it seems like they would have to walk in tandem in the legs after this. It seems like something you would have to be pretty flexible to do also.

All and all, a cute skit that i don't think is really meant to be violent or gendered. Possibly inspired by gwar (i wonder if the people at gwar's slave pit invented these).
posted by djduckie at 8:40 AM on February 14, 2010

The profession of women's cheerleading is more or less defined by sexual degradation in front of a clapping audience, in the first place.

Didn't we just have the thread where someone tried to explain why, despite believing in equal rights for women, they were hesitant to call themselves "feminist"? Someone check and make sure the list included "That label is associated with a stereotype of seeing most expressions of human sexuality as exploitative" and "I've seen that word hijacked by people who use it to scorn women who choose the 'wrong' life path."

I still call myself a feminist, but some of the popular connotations do make it tricky...
posted by roystgnr at 9:12 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sorry there was actually nothing proper about my earlier half asleep rambling, and i checked my previous post and i didn't have a link i just copied an imped URL. Stupid me, eh? Anyway:

Man getting eaten by a mascot

Too me this is the most violent, and clumsiest, one of them all. Enjoy?
posted by djduckie at 9:33 AM on February 14, 2010

Someone check and make sure the list included "That label is associated with a stereotype of seeing most expressions of human sexuality as exploitative" and "I've seen that word hijacked by people who use it to scorn women who choose the 'wrong' life path."

Please don't put words in my mouth. Observing that cheerleading is an exploitative business by its very nature is not some slick attempt by me to keep women in their place.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:57 AM on February 14, 2010

The real crime is that a raptor is fucking bird not a dinosaur. I am embarrased for my home town team's name.

A) "Raptors" is short for "Velociraptors," as evident in the mascot. It's not like the mascot's a Stegosaurus.

B) Fucking birds are fucking dinosaurs. Fuck!
posted by explosion at 10:00 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'd be interested in a cross sectional view to see the space inside that costume.
posted by FusiveResonance at 10:08 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Man getting eaten by a mascot

Too me this is the most violent, and clumsiest, one of them all. Enjoy?

In both of the man one's I've seen, the guy had to get down on the ground and crawl in, while the cheerleaders where able to go in standing up. Most likely there is a height/weight issue involved.
posted by delmoi at 10:09 AM on February 14, 2010

so, it looks like these mascot costumes have a lot of space in the "operator" area, so that once the "victim" comes in, he/she has a moment to get re-oriented (the violent digestive struggle), then both operator and victim have their feet in the character feet and walk around synchronized for a few minutes, like a good three-legged race team?

and then the victim is head-up oriented for the ejection phase after the opposing mascot comes violently to the rescue?

I notice in the "Clammy Sosa" one, and some of the other "maneating" episodes, the mascot throws his head back to swallow, and the male victim is doing a supported handstand and kicking his feet above the mascot's head. that is some really nice work, but I bet the injuries are spectacular when somebody loses their balance.
posted by toodleydoodley at 10:32 AM on February 14, 2010

B) Fucking birds are fucking dinosaurs. Fuck!
I would like to see more videos of birds fucking dinosaurs before I decide how I feel about this.
posted by The otter lady at 10:42 AM on February 14, 2010 [4 favorites]

Because it has nothing to do with the gender of the person being eaten. The only person reducing the cheerleader in these videos to nothing more than her gender is you.

Oh, so they do regularly go after male cheerleaders then? The refs? Fans? Because your answer conveniently fails to address this.

You know, I was prepared to give this thread a pass, as I generally try not to read too deeply into some things. But the level of casual misogyny in this year's superbowl ads, and the fact that women aren't allowed to ski jump at the Olympics, leads me to believe that certain tropes - like scantily clad women needing a rescue - need to be removed from sports.
posted by Zinger at 10:48 AM on February 14, 2010

Well, consensual non-consent isn't cool with me unless everyone around is 100% up-front and informed. I find it creepy and I think it's part of rape culture.

I'll save you time, you can just copy/paste this:

you're uptight and have no sense of humor and they're just cheerleaders sums up how I feel about cheerleaders (I want them to be eaten) that was a great comment, isn't that just the truth but this isn't violent at all and if you did think it's violent then what about other sexist stuff because you can't talk about one sexist thing and ignore their short skirts it's hypocritical and it's meant to be funny and nothing that is meant to be funny or entertaining is ever violent or sexist it's one or the other
posted by kathrineg at 11:04 AM on February 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

Oh I forgot:

it's a tradition, that's just the way they do it

and

you objecting makes people not want to be feminists and you give them a bad name and that's why feminists have a bad reputation

and

you can never critique anything involving women if you're a feminist because that makes you anti-woman and therefore not feminist QED
posted by kathrineg at 11:08 AM on February 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Drive by pseudo-feminism is a fool's pasttime.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:41 AM on February 14, 2010

I give up, many of you people just want to be angry. kathrineg, I can't even tell what you're trying to accomplish but I really strongly suggest MetaTalk.

This is the company that makes the costumes but besides that fact I can't see anything that explains the thing specifically. Thought they do note that the mascot that eats people only "swallows kids and cheerleaders"
posted by jessamyn at 11:53 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Of course, the Metafilter demographic might prefer this guy.
posted by box at 11:58 AM on February 14, 2010

It's a skit. A planned skit. It was in good fun. It was 100% consensual and 100% obvious to everyone. I wish people would stop with the mind reading schtick. You can't read minds by watching a video. Give it up.

But if so, I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by P.o.B. at 12:03 PM on February 14, 2010

'When did these inflatable mascot costumes become standard?'

As someone who never watches any basketball, I have to admit that these mascots are... will still not watch basketball.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 12:26 PM on February 14, 2010

I agree with everyone who said that the mascot represents the merit, and inevitable and ultimate hegemony of feminism as it symbolically devours a repressive and derogatory cultural archetypal manifestation of the feminine gender.
posted by found missing at 12:28 PM on February 14, 2010 [8 favorites]

I like nachos.
posted by dirigibleman at 12:36 PM on February 14, 2010

I like nachos.

Chauvinist.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:38 PM on February 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

I like turtles.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 12:42 PM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

P.o.B.: Are you implying that the announcers KNEW she would be swallowed alive, and did nothing about it? I think that may break a few laws.

And even if it was consensual, I think society should draw the line somewhere. We can't have young, able-bodied people volunteering themselves to be offed. The cheerleader needed help.
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:47 PM on February 14, 2010

Is that what's going on at pro basketball games these days? Never have I been happier to watch halftime reports on television, if it means not having to bother with this wacky gung-ho ship of tomfoolery.
posted by Spatch at 1:10 PM on February 14, 2010

I give up, many of you people just want to be angry

I don't want to be angry! I don't! How dare you say that I just want to be angry when I'm clearly provoked by how WRONG those other people are! NOT ANGRY! NOT!

GRAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!

*consumes jessamyn whole*

*burp*
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:25 PM on February 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

Never have I been happier to watch halftime reports on television, if it means not having to bother with this wacky gung-ho ship of tomfoolery.

I think tomfoolery is one of the best parts of sports. GWAAAA! We demand more!
posted by Lord Chancellor at 1:25 PM on February 14, 2010

Why chose between GRAR! ANGRY! and sports tomfoolery when you can have both?
posted by Slap*Happy at 1:57 PM on February 14, 2010

I am very sorry for the 2am derail... The skit does look like a wonderfully absurd and entertaining thing to do with an oversized mascot, I'll find another plate of beans elsewhere.

I think what got me was that Clutch, the bear of the Huston Rockets, seems to like to slap around the cheerleaders first. Then again he appears to just be an asshole.
posted by Blasdelb at 2:06 PM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Then again he appears to just be an asshole.

The best part was when the startled fans unloaded on him.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:10 PM on February 14, 2010 [4 favorites]

Please don't put words in my mouth.

Apologies, and I'll drop the thread. I imagined having to explain to my middle schooler cousins (cheerleaders and proud of it) that they were actually "degrading" themselves, and it made me see red. I should have known better than to post while still annoyed at what must have been an unintended insult.
posted by roystgnr at 3:10 PM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

kathrineg: Damn, people, the third cheerleader was pretty clearly not into it. Even if she was playacting it's uncool to playact a forcible abduction like it's normal and funny.

Wow.

Most. Gullible. Audience member. Ever.

Spoiler: In "The Green Mile", they didn't reallyn electrocute a black man. It was just acting.
posted by IAmBroom at 4:03 PM on February 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

I saw this and KNEW that this thread would turn into a "It's not cool to eat ladies! ZOMG! FEMINISM!" circlejerk.

Thanks for not disappointing! It's almost as fun as watching dinosaurs eat cheerleaders!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:11 PM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Is there a good reason the Houston Rockets has a bear for a mascot instead of a giant-headed Wernher von Braun or a Saturn V with a cheerful smile?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:20 PM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

It'd be weird for Wernher von Braun to eat a woman whole. And if a rocket eats a lady, people assume it's just taking her for a ride.
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:51 PM on February 14, 2010

I wonder how this discussion would have went if the subject was indeed rockets eating women.
posted by Hicksu at 5:05 PM on February 14, 2010

"It's not cool to eat ladies! ZOMG! FEMINISM!" circlejerk.

I've suggested, and will continue to, that people who just want to show up here to roll their eyes in either direction are welcome to take it to MetaTalk and really have it out. Otherwise I see nearly as many people complaining about the so-called circle-jerkers as people even intimating that such a thing might exist.
posted by jessamyn at 5:07 PM on February 14, 2010

mccarty.tim: "It'd be weird for Wernher von Braun to eat a woman whole"

Surely this was a scene in [i]Gravity's Rainbow.[/i]
posted by Drastic at 5:17 PM on February 14, 2010

Why chose between GRAR! ANGRY! and sports tomfoolery when you can have both?

there's something wrong with your link. that's not Lou Piniella.
posted by toodleydoodley at 5:37 PM on February 14, 2010

I wonder how this discussion would have went if the subject was indeed rockets eating women.

Honey, I may be seventeen, but I ain't naive.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:13 PM on February 14, 2010

Also, what is it if two circle jerks are in competition? Is there a word for this? If not, which Republican lawmaker's name needs a filthy connotation the most? The Mitch? The Kyl? The Huckabee?
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:17 PM on February 14, 2010

It'd be weird for Wernher von Braun to eat a woman whole.

You need to read more about Peenemunde.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:19 PM on February 14, 2010

C'mon, jessamyn. This post is incredibly thin. What's to discuss, other than the circle jerk?
posted by ryanrs at 6:23 PM on February 14, 2010

I used to see something very similar at basketball games a few years ago, but they didn't use cheerleaders. During a timeout, there would be a guy dressed in the visitors' colors with a clipboard standing just outside their huddle. The monster would come up and bother him and he'd get pissed and push back, and for about 3 seconds, people would think that it was real, but then the monster would eat the guy and everyone would cheer. After a little bit, the monster would spit out the guy's clothes. Then the guy would escape, holding the clipboard over himself, and running for the locker room. Watching these videos, I expected a cheerleader outfit to come out of the monster's mouth, which would've been some awesome vore.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 7:49 PM on February 14, 2010

The best part was when the startled fans unloaded on him.

Tangential, and continuing on my own thought there: Startle gags are perhaps the absolute lowest position on the body humor scale¹. It's the cheapest way to get a laugh, and it usually leaves the victim feeling put off while spectators and perpetrators are amused at their expense. It's primitive mammal brain stuff and children should be discouraged from doing so.

/moralizer

¹The highest position on the body humor scale is of course occupied by the fish slap.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:49 PM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Thankyou, Pope Guilty.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 3:32 AM on February 15, 2010

My favorite part was when the actor in the bear suit writhed in agony as he suffocated inside that giant plastic bag while everyone else danced around joyfully.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:26 PM on February 28, 2010