Comments on: Comments on 8927

Post number 8927

fraying — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 18:59:33 -0800

By: fraying

fraying — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 19:01:49 -0800

For those who may not know the site, here are the rules. The concept was designed by Lance to create an atmosphere where the authors fuck with each other. Now, it seems, they're fucking with Lance.

By: davehat

davehat — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 19:22:52 -0800

The site seems to be fucked at the moment. Is that what the fuckers who were fucking with StoryFuck fucking intended?

By: dchase

dchase — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 19:30:06 -0800

Cough

By: frykitty

frykitty — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 19:33:47 -0800

dchase: read the link. While the same site, this is a totally different subject. And a very interesting one. I'm loathe to say anything until hearing how Lance feels. In my universe, avoiding rubbing salt in a wound is more important than dissecting a fascinating bit of mindfuck.

By: o2b

o2b — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 19:34:33 -0800

um, dchase, this is not a double post. fraying is making specific reference to an element within storyfuck. you'l notice that at no time deas fraying say "hey look! there's this site called storyfuck!" get over your bad self.

By: davehat

davehat — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 19:38:09 -0800

dhcase: though I can't actually check out frayling's link right now this post seems to be refering to something that is happening on the site, not the fact that the site exists. BTW it just me or can the rest of the universe actually see these links? I got a DNS error.

By: o2b

o2b — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 19:53:35 -0800

i think we can back off dchase about now... ;) and davehat: it's just you.

By: ktheory

ktheory — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 20:08:45 -0800

I'm so jaded from the Kaycee incident. My first thought was that this was fake, because it's posted by Maude, not by Lance. If Maude is really dead, that's sad. At the same time, having the author die is a surefire way to win on StoryFuck. If it's fake, then it's pretty clever. Man, I don't know how to react to this, depending on whether it's real or not. Maybe that's why everyone is talking about why this isn't a double post, rather than the actual post.

By: o2b

o2b — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 20:16:33 -0800

i haven't been able to find any trace of a 'Maude Schroeder.' not even searching the library of congress' site for her books. i'm not saying she didn't die, and it's not sad... i'm just saying.

By: rebeccablood

rebeccablood — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 20:20:32 -0800

<sigh>

By: benbrown

benbrown — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 20:31:34 -0800

Ahahahahhaha. Ahahaaha. Ahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaahah. Oh man, you people crack me up.

By: frykitty

frykitty — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 20:34:23 -0800

I assumed it was a hoax because of the way it was posted. It looks like Maude sent a note to Lance, waited for his reply, then posted it. Am I missing something?

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 20:42:34 -0800

Sent: Sunday, July 09, 2001 11:51 PM Sunday was the 8th! The MeFi Detective Agency is back in business, baby!

By: holgate

holgate — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 21:07:28 -0800

What benbrown said. Try reading it aloud, and listening to the tone with an ear made not of tin. (I think we're in Neal Pollack territory here.)

By: lotsofno

lotsofno — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 21:10:35 -0800

hate to jump on the she-who-shall-not-be-named wagon, but... yeah.. amazon's not turning anything up under the titles or authors. sure, amazon doesn't catalog everything, but they do a good job almost doing it...

By: rebeccablood

rebeccablood — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 21:11:51 -0800

you'll want to read the rules again, carefully.

By: capt.crackpipe

capt.crackpipe — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 21:22:39 -0800

Sigh? The site is called Storyfuck. What were you expecting, puppy dogs and rose petals? (Totally divergent, but sitting in the same Dewey decimal section: Marc Nesbitt's story in the current New Yorker is the best that magazine has published in years. Last week's story, about the waitress in the Chinese restuarant was good too, but gone unless you can find a slack newsstand. Nesbitt had another great story in Harper's last year about this time.)

By: BoatMeme

BoatMeme — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 21:40:17 -0800

The Mefi storyFuck -- Take it to Metatalk ---------------------------- The cramps start small. I shift in my seat. I was going to say something to her. I don't. The car door scorches my arm as it hangs out the window. By now, there's gotta be a large dark patch on the back of my shirt. I enjoy this. Sometimes I get in the car and sit there without rolling down the windows. For five minutes. Sometimes its 120 degrees. For ten minutes. The air I breath is warmer than the esophogus. For 20 minutes. This is what it feels like to be sterilized. The stomach tightens. The sound of traffic and the radio fades. The bowels demand concentration. I shift again, this time positioning my ass cheeks together in such a way that the seat offers its full support in the enterprise. The cheeks on the face begin to flush. She continues a sprightly conversation with the air. I nod in agreement. Mmmmhmmm. The internal muscles down there expand and contract involuntarily. As the gatekeeper, I'm not too worried. I WILL have the final say. I imagine the evolution of the anal sphincter. At what point did natural selection choose a voluntarily contracting anus via sphincter? Way back, for sure. Its never been a good idea to shit where you eat. Even worse if you lack the faculties to distinguish shit from a nutritious meal. The muscles push on something solid I know. I know because there would be a burning otherwise. Her conversation hangs expectant. I mutter something vaguely relevant and wish that she'd hurry up, wash her hands and let the restroom door squeak closed behind her. Chronic contraction of the anal sphincter to avoid bowel movement may be the primary source of hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids. A mass of dilated veins in swollen tissue at the margin of the anus or nearby within the rectum. Chronic contraction of the anal sphincter to avoid bowel movement may be the primary source of rectal cancer. Rectal Cancer. A malignant tumor of potentially unlimited growth that expands locally by invasion and systemically by metastasis...in the rectum. We're all going. Going. Going. Gone. I've got that much figured out. I know. This will be a horrible way to go. No, not horrible. Painful? Not with the drugs, assuming I will see a doctor - which I will not. Undignified. What do I know about dignity? My ass is bleeding and I will die. Traffic light turns green and I step on the gas. Air I've let in down there bubbles up through the system and forces me to give. "I'm depressed" Spoken like a true altruist.

By: heather

heather — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 21:40:59 -0800

earth to metafilter. earth to metafilter....

By: fraying

fraying — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 21:54:39 -0800

What Ben said.

By: jragon

jragon — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 21:55:59 -0800

That's it. MeFi is going to 'evolve' itself right into being exclusively MetaTalk. That's the future of this site, I can feel it.

By: judith

judith — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 22:28:37 -0800

tee hee. though...i did see the look on lance's face this afternoon when he got the news, and well, he was pretty stunned...

By: rebeccablood

rebeccablood — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 23:02:44 -0800

metafucker.

By: skallas

skallas — Tue, 10 Jul 2001 23:53:19 -0800

"If you grow too many flowers, they'll each have less rain". Oh man this is cracking me up. From Maude's "last" chapter: Juanita leaned in and spoke out of the corner of her mouth. "A Dildo," she said evenly. He tried not to laugh. "A dildo? She attacked you with a dildo?" "A dildo. A big black one."

By: davehat

davehat — Wed, 11 Jul 2001 00:01:52 -0800

I have no idea what any of this is about. I still can't see the site. Anyone want to give an overview?

By: ed

ed — Wed, 11 Jul 2001 00:14:16 -0800

A metaFUCK consists of two or more Metafilter posters shamelessly collaborating on an on-going form of suck-up to an A-lister, trading sycophantic remarks back and forth in real-time on the Web, posting subsequent flatteries to this site for immediate public outcry. The first post and the thread title are supplied by Kottke's hip biceps. The suck-up may be about anything, involving comments and saliva, multiple hungry eyes, blind worship, and drinking steadfast amounts of alcohol after a web event in which said A-lister of the poster's unequivocal devotion snubbed the poster in question. There are no limits regarding the degree of fanboyish zeal or atavistic sloth. Posters may say, do, gloss, lick on, make cooing sounds and salivate anything and everything--even the A-lister's uncle. The last probably goes without saying, but therein lies the catch. The only rule is that each successive thread should try its hardest to involve the MeFi Scooby Doo Squad on earlier chapters of reality that involve potentially faked death or, in the case of one particular Storyfuck contributor, an ultimately untimely one. In other words, a poster cannot ignore any potential hoax that has come before. The investigation should remain zealous and possibly misguided. However, each poster is free to post anything they wish in order to make the subsequent investigation easier to believe.

By: moz

moz — Wed, 11 Jul 2001 00:25:31 -0800

kottke rules. kottke is a pipe rehabilitation company. kottke is a trucking company with a big, bright blue marquee. kottke is an acoustic guitarist. sadly, kottke has no anagrams. thanks to google. now you suck up.

By: cheaily

cheaily — Wed, 11 Jul 2001 01:09:30 -0800

heheh. *quiet applause*

By: Mo Nickels

Mo Nickels — Wed, 11 Jul 2001 06:42:57 -0800

Juanita leaned in and spoke out of the corner of her mouth. "A Dildo," she said evenly. He tried not to laugh. "A dildo? She attacked you with a dildo?" "A dildo. A big black one." Interestingly like a key scene in the John Irving novel Son of the Circus, which scene also belonged to a short story he originally wrote for the New Yorker. A woman is used by her boyfriend drug dealer to move illegal drugs across borders without knowledge. He first introduces her to the joys of a massive dildo, then he says he'll meet her at a given destination, to which destination he insists she should bring the love toy. On the way there, she finds herself in a confrontation with a taxi driver and the only weapon at hand is the massive dildo. She beats the driver with it. Only when she finally meets up with her boyfriend does he melt off a wax seal and reveal the drugs hidden inside.

By: clavdivs

clavdivs — Wed, 11 Jul 2001 07:28:00 -0800

The john Fowles school of chicanery.

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Wed, 11 Jul 2001 08:44:31 -0800

*CAUTION* This is noise
I like cheese and Lance. If I could get a cheese Lance... Oh! The IMPLICATIONS!

By: metrocake

metrocake — Wed, 11 Jul 2001 09:12:22 -0800

: throwing up hands : Oy. Someone bring on the pancakes, please...

By: amanda

amanda — Wed, 11 Jul 2001 09:21:01 -0800

But, is the death of the author an effective cliffhanger?

By: jcterminal

jcterminal — Wed, 11 Jul 2001 11:05:17 -0800

only if she doesn't come back.

By: amanda

amanda — Wed, 11 Jul 2001 11:10:23 -0800

Oh, but I hate that. Maybe she'll come back but she'll have amnesia and then we'll find out that she's pregnant with Flynn's baby and her evil twin will try and take over her life.