"I Want This Goddamn Thing Repaired!"
February 18, 2010 2:52 PM Subscribe
As much as I wanted to find this amusing, he seems to come off as more spittingly petulant, than anything else... that kind of shaking fury should really not be wasted on anything less than VERIZON'S customer service.
seriously verizon go choke on a goddamn knife
posted by FatherDagon at 3:06 PM on February 18, 2010
seriously verizon go choke on a goddamn knife
posted by FatherDagon at 3:06 PM on February 18, 2010
"I write books! I'll ruin your name!"
What an ass.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 3:07 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
What an ass.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 3:07 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
Huh.
He sounds like any of 100 other angry old men confused by their own ludicrously expensive home theater setups.
posted by kavasa at 3:09 PM on February 18, 2010
He sounds like any of 100 other angry old men confused by their own ludicrously expensive home theater setups.
posted by kavasa at 3:09 PM on February 18, 2010
Oh no, I'm worse than this, I thought I was bad on the phone but I had no idea.
posted by Xurando at 3:09 PM on February 18, 2010
posted by Xurando at 3:09 PM on February 18, 2010
I'm picturing Ambassador Duke trying to set up his new turntable on Christmas morning as I hear this.
posted by evilcolonel at 3:12 PM on February 18, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by evilcolonel at 3:12 PM on February 18, 2010 [5 favorites]
God what an asshole but I'm sure everyone was laughing and replaying that over and over at whatever company he was calling. Sometimes people are so over the top you can't do anything but laugh.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:14 PM on February 18, 2010
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:14 PM on February 18, 2010
Don't be fatuous, gnidan.
posted by peeedro at 3:17 PM on February 18, 2010 [11 favorites]
posted by peeedro at 3:17 PM on February 18, 2010 [11 favorites]
Fear and [Loading]
posted by hal9k at 3:21 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by hal9k at 3:21 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
"Goddamn it. Fuck you! Get up here."
*chuckles*
What does it say about me that I even crave meager scraps of HST such as what is offered in this SLYT?
posted by Fezboy! at 3:23 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
*chuckles*
What does it say about me that I even crave meager scraps of HST such as what is offered in this SLYT?
posted by Fezboy! at 3:23 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
As your attorney, I would advise you to please stay on hold as your call is very important to us.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:23 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:23 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]
Hunter S. Thompson was a great writer.
What made him great though was not his anger. It was the romantic nature at the heart of the anger. His most famous book is, under all the anger and insanity, a lament for the failed dreams of the hippie movement.
So it's kind of sad when he gets reduced to some kind of drugged-up, profane Andy Rooney like this. But then, maybe that's how he was in his personal life at the end.
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:30 PM on February 18, 2010 [13 favorites]
What made him great though was not his anger. It was the romantic nature at the heart of the anger. His most famous book is, under all the anger and insanity, a lament for the failed dreams of the hippie movement.
So it's kind of sad when he gets reduced to some kind of drugged-up, profane Andy Rooney like this. But then, maybe that's how he was in his personal life at the end.
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:30 PM on February 18, 2010 [13 favorites]
There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of a malfunctioning home entertainment center.
posted by porn in the woods at 3:34 PM on February 18, 2010 [34 favorites]
posted by porn in the woods at 3:34 PM on February 18, 2010 [34 favorites]
Jesus, man! You don't go looking for a functional entertainment center. A functional entertainment center finds you when it thinks you're ready.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 3:40 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by solipsophistocracy at 3:40 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
I've read just about everything by HST I could find over the past 20 years, and I genuinely love the guy. The first 30 or 40 seconds, I was giggling in an "oh, that Hunter" sort of way. Then I couldn't finish listening to it. This is not a good moment.
posted by nevercalm at 3:40 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by nevercalm at 3:40 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
It never got wired enough for me.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 3:47 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Ron Thanagar at 3:47 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
It's pretty much exactly what I expected.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:48 PM on February 18, 2010
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:48 PM on February 18, 2010
This sounds like every call from a senior citizen i've ever had in tech support.
posted by empath at 3:51 PM on February 18, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by empath at 3:51 PM on February 18, 2010 [5 favorites]
Some years ago I needed to talk to Thompson for an article. I cadged his home number from a friend of a friend, who would not give it over until after he had spent fifteen minutes warning me about how a call to Hunter was likely to unfold. Hunter will probably be drunk. Hunter will be angry, or unintelligible. Hunter will ask you to send him something odd, or send him money. Hunter will ask you to come to his house to fix something that’s broken. Hunter will almost certainly not answer your questions, but if he does he’ll do so only after shouting at you for many minutes, so just buck up and bear it. “And for god’s sake don’t dare tell him how you got his number!”
Properly prepped, I dialed the number. Hunter answered. He sounded perfectly sober. I very gingerly explained who I was and what I wanted. We then spent a very enjoyable half hour on the phone, Hunter politely answering every question. When I was done I thanked Hunter and told him how much I appreciated the interview. “My pleasure. Happy to do it. One last thing, though, before I forget.” Yes? “How did you happen to get my number?” Oh, through a friend of a friend. “Hmmmm. Well. May I ask a favor?” Of course. “Throw that goddamn number away and tell that fucking friend of a friend of yours that if he ever gives my goddamn phone number out to another sonofabitch stranger I’m going to find him and fuck his eyeballs out.”
posted by william_boot at 3:55 PM on February 18, 2010 [347 favorites]
Properly prepped, I dialed the number. Hunter answered. He sounded perfectly sober. I very gingerly explained who I was and what I wanted. We then spent a very enjoyable half hour on the phone, Hunter politely answering every question. When I was done I thanked Hunter and told him how much I appreciated the interview. “My pleasure. Happy to do it. One last thing, though, before I forget.” Yes? “How did you happen to get my number?” Oh, through a friend of a friend. “Hmmmm. Well. May I ask a favor?” Of course. “Throw that goddamn number away and tell that fucking friend of a friend of yours that if he ever gives my goddamn phone number out to another sonofabitch stranger I’m going to find him and fuck his eyeballs out.”
posted by william_boot at 3:55 PM on February 18, 2010 [347 favorites]
I liked it. That's the least of what Verizon deserves.
posted by Liquidwolf at 4:05 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Liquidwolf at 4:05 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
He was a great fucking writer. I was about to say something about how terrible alcohol can be and how it can ruin the best of us, and then I read william_boot's comment which I hope with all my heart is true, and decided to post what I was going to anyway.
posted by Elmore at 4:24 PM on February 18, 2010
posted by Elmore at 4:24 PM on February 18, 2010
This is kind of the audio version of watching a terrible bus accident.
posted by Rhomboid at 5:21 PM on February 18, 2010
posted by Rhomboid at 5:21 PM on February 18, 2010
This is kind of the audio version of watching a terrible bus accident.
Actually, if you're looking for that sort of thing in the HST audo oeuvre, I can wholeheartedly suggest the clip of him having phone sex in Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, which you can probably Netflix by now.
I like HST, and I never, ever needed to hear that.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 5:25 PM on February 18, 2010
Actually, if you're looking for that sort of thing in the HST audo oeuvre, I can wholeheartedly suggest the clip of him having phone sex in Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, which you can probably Netflix by now.
I like HST, and I never, ever needed to hear that.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 5:25 PM on February 18, 2010
audio oeuvre fuck i want this goddamn comment repaired
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 5:25 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 5:25 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]
He sounds like a salty, angry version of my grandpa.
posted by vorpal bunny at 6:15 PM on February 18, 2010
posted by vorpal bunny at 6:15 PM on February 18, 2010
The thing about HST that I really like is that he's always represented to me the antithesis of the way we tend to deal with celebrities - by putting them up on a pedestal, making them out to be something better, or more pure, just because they're good actors or good writers or whatever.
HST never let us do that with him. You couldn't spend thirty-seconds in his presence without having any ideals you might have about him having any more virtues than the average man, just because he could write astounding, scathing, skullfuckingly good copy, absolutely shattered. He was entirely human - when he wasn't actively trying to be sub-human - and refused to hide it, in public or private. He put the lie to every person who's ever looked at some glittering figure on the TV and thought about how nice it would be to meet someone like that, to really get to know them.
posted by AdamCSnider at 7:02 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
HST never let us do that with him. You couldn't spend thirty-seconds in his presence without having any ideals you might have about him having any more virtues than the average man, just because he could write astounding, scathing, skullfuckingly good copy, absolutely shattered. He was entirely human - when he wasn't actively trying to be sub-human - and refused to hide it, in public or private. He put the lie to every person who's ever looked at some glittering figure on the TV and thought about how nice it would be to meet someone like that, to really get to know them.
posted by AdamCSnider at 7:02 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
Now someone do it as Werner Herzog.
posted by starman at 7:13 PM on February 18, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by starman at 7:13 PM on February 18, 2010 [5 favorites]
He sounds like drunk Nixon.
posted by stbalbach at 7:45 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by stbalbach at 7:45 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
You can almost sit in your chair and listen to this and see the spot where the wave broke and rolled back...
posted by fixedgear at 8:12 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by fixedgear at 8:12 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]
He sounds like a salty, angry version of my grandpa.
Weird. He sounds exactly like my grandfather, salt, anger and all.
I miss both of those dead sons of bitches
posted by The Potate at 8:15 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
Weird. He sounds exactly like my grandfather, salt, anger and all.
I miss both of those dead sons of bitches
posted by The Potate at 8:15 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
I don't know how or why, but HST makes repugnance seem charming. I truly hope it's for some reason other than his talents, because talent never justifies poor behavior. I would have a hard time forgiving most people for being so scathingly rude for so little reason. But damn if this doesn't make me love him more.
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:29 PM on February 18, 2010
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:29 PM on February 18, 2010
As much as I wanted to find this amusing, he seems to come off as more spittingly petulant, than anything else...
In fairness to HST, they fucked up his system.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:34 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
In fairness to HST, they fucked up his system.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:34 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
Hunter, we are laughing with you, not at you. RIP, man.
posted by camworld at 6:46 AM on February 19, 2010
posted by camworld at 6:46 AM on February 19, 2010
Man, that made me feel bad. Angry, confused old man was not Hunter's best schtick.
posted by dortmunder at 6:47 AM on February 19, 2010
posted by dortmunder at 6:47 AM on February 19, 2010
The moment when he starts telling his phone number and then goes "oh god!" in horror is just priceless.
posted by xmutex at 8:22 AM on February 19, 2010
posted by xmutex at 8:22 AM on February 19, 2010
"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." - Dr. Johnson.
posted by Dokterrock at 8:41 AM on February 19, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Dokterrock at 8:41 AM on February 19, 2010 [2 favorites]
I still like this fictional call way better. I can't look at page 5 of a manual the same ever again.
posted by juiceCake at 10:36 PM on February 19, 2010
posted by juiceCake at 10:36 PM on February 19, 2010
President Johnson orders pants from Joe Haggar.
posted by neuron at 11:46 AM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by neuron at 11:46 AM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]
He sounds like drunk Nixon.
That's exactly what I was thinking!
posted by awenner at 12:09 PM on February 20, 2010
That's exactly what I was thinking!
posted by awenner at 12:09 PM on February 20, 2010
Wonderful.
posted by Arthur Phillips Jones Jr at 10:37 PM on February 20, 2010
posted by Arthur Phillips Jones Jr at 10:37 PM on February 20, 2010
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posted by gnidan at 3:05 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]