Drinks are on the house!
February 20, 2010 11:04 AM   Subscribe

Sick of the Tea Party? Then try The Cocktail Party! (no, not that Cocktail Party). With a platform that includes nationalizing the banks, abolishing marriage, establishing national healthcare, and opening national borders, the Cocktail Party is for "left wing urban homosexuals and the people who love us." Is America ready for this self-proclaimed "motley crew of miscegenated sex crazed lushes who read Marx and Fanon, seeking to support our lifestyles by taking resources from the rich and powerful and redistributing them with abandon"? Or perhaps a more important question: will they make a difference?
posted by Saxon Kane (89 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
 
They have the best campaign brunches.
posted by The Whelk at 11:05 AM on February 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'm sure they could fuse tickets with New Haven, CT's Guilty Party*.

* in the spirit of full disclosure, it was I who named the party**

** in the spirit of fuller disclosure, I stole the name from a National Lampoon article

posted by jtron at 11:10 AM on February 20, 2010


Also, I'm sure the Cocktail Party convention would be better-attended and a lot more fun than the Tea Party convention, although with maybe not quite so many furtive sexual encounters (it's the furtive element that'd be missing).
posted by jtron at 11:13 AM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm a left wing homosexual, although far from urban.
And no, they won't make a difference because quite frankly their "platform" is a joke, pretty sure their whole basis for existence is satire, and with that being the case I really like this.

But making a substantial difference? Nah.
posted by deacon_blues at 11:13 AM on February 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


Ok, so you have a political group with the word "Cock" in the name. Ok, that's the first joke they are going to make, but you can;t make it that easy for them. You need a non sequitur element that the opposition can really get worked up about with crazy theories that make them look even more foolish.

You need a hat.

Hear me out: Not just any hat, an unusual one, that is not common in America, and adds a worldly, traveled quality to counteract the 'down-home, old-time religion' angle the opposition has.

A Fez. A really cool fez.

Sure the Shriners have them, but they're mostly seen as just a kooky grandpa gang that does good charity work, but the fez could really be something that could be a symbol of nothing and everything the Cocktail party stands for. And it's a great tool just to get the other side worked up about something that doesn't mean anything, while you're out getting real work done.

Let them tilt at windmills, and that frees you up to go get legislation passed.
posted by chambers at 11:22 AM on February 20, 2010 [13 favorites]


You know these people are serious because they have a Facebook group. I like this idea, but I just wish that they were willing to take it further.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 11:23 AM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is fabulous.
posted by polyhedron at 11:28 AM on February 20, 2010 [5 favorites]


Ya know, as strange as it sounds, there's a lot of literature in sociology and political science on the effects of re-framing and the "movable window" of politics. The idea is that having nutty fringe groups around actually help pull the mainstream in their direction—although indirectly. Essentially, these extreme-politics groups stretch the "window" of what is possible in the political sphere, thereby skewing what gets viewed as "centrist" in their direction. Having the Cocktail Party at the far end of the spectrum making "scandalous" leftist demands allows the Democrats to say, "You think we're socialist extremists? Those guys over there are the extremists. We just want incremental, reasonable change." It could help Dems appear less radical by placing a radical bogeyman at the horizon.

On the other hand, though, there's the danger that it could go the way of the Tea Party for the Republicans, who at first benefitted from a right-shifting of what counts as "moderate Republicanism," but are now finding themselves politically threatened by the (relative) success of this fringe party. Also, the lines between the two parties have been blurring (especially at CPAC this past week), which also undoes the effects of this phenomenon to some extent.

OK, plate of beans, I have overthought you!
posted by LMGM at 11:30 AM on February 20, 2010 [20 favorites]


They seem to have a facebook group, but I'm not sure it's working wuite right. Can they at least be our very own Monster Raving Loony Party?
posted by dilettante at 11:31 AM on February 20, 2010


I just wish that they were willing to take it further

I bet I drink cocktails far more than any given Teabagger drinks tea. There's that.
posted by everichon at 11:32 AM on February 20, 2010 [3 favorites]


Okay, on further research, probably no on the Loony Party. But we could use one of those, too.
posted by dilettante at 11:36 AM on February 20, 2010


Is America ready for this self-proclaimed "motley crew ... who read Marx"

No.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:37 AM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Fedoras, man. They need fedoras.
posted by LordSludge at 11:38 AM on February 20, 2010


"motley crew of miscegenated sex crazed lushes who read Marx"

Wait a tick, don't these guys already control two of the three branches of the US Government?
posted by codswallop at 11:43 AM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Wait a tick, don't these guys already control two of the three branches of the US Government?

They do if Free Republic is a trustworthy source.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:51 AM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh what a fun parlor game! I'll add a few planks:

Divestment from the Vatican.

Mandatory empathy testing for Congress members.

Space Elevator! (why not?)

Federal subsidies for CSA memberships. And when it comes to the end of the week and you haven't figured out what to do with the rest of the beets, there should be a hotline you can call for seasonally appropriate, delicious recipes that can be made with whatever is left in your cupboard.

Free massages for the unemployed.

I could do this all afternoon!
posted by felix betachat at 11:54 AM on February 20, 2010 [8 favorites]


>: A Fez. A really cool fez.

This might be the best idea I have heard in a really long time.
posted by dunkadunc at 11:56 AM on February 20, 2010


TO THE HABBERDASHERS! {huge throng rushes the city to purchase fashionable headgear}
posted by SteelyDuran at 11:59 AM on February 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


Someday I'm going to start my own joke party call the More Stuff Party. OUr slogan will be "More stuff for you; someone else pays."




I expect to get to a million members in the first week.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 12:00 PM on February 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


Wha... is it afternoon already? ~ rip van winkle
posted by infini at 12:02 PM on February 20, 2010


Well, it has certainly met my needs, by which I mean my need for a liberal Facebook group to join this week in order to lessen my irritation at the constant information that people in my social network have gone and joined groups like "OBAMA (One Big Ass Mistake America)" and "Ann Coulter Quotes."
posted by Countess Elena at 12:03 PM on February 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


I prefer the LAN Party, which mandates IQ based breeding initiatives, and bases voting rights on being able to set up a home media center.
posted by codacorolla at 12:05 PM on February 20, 2010 [4 favorites]


will they make a difference?

Political movements which consist of approximately twelve people rarely do. The teabaggers are certainly vulnerable to a number of critiques, but damn if there aren't a bunch of 'em.
posted by valkyryn at 12:06 PM on February 20, 2010


Ain't gonna do it without the fez on.
posted by fixedgear at 12:09 PM on February 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


And no, they won't make a difference because quite frankly their "platform" is a joke, pretty sure their whole basis for existence is satire

I'm sure there's some way this is different from the Teabaggers, but I have no idea what it is.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:15 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]



Can we also sell Texas back to Mexico?
posted by bukharin at 12:19 PM on February 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


On the other hand, though, there's the danger that [the Coctail Party] could go the way of the Tea Party for the Republicans, who at first benefitted from a right-shifting of what counts as "moderate Republicanism," but are now finding themselves politically threatened by the (relative) success of this fringe party. Also, the lines between the two parties have been blurring (especially at CPAC this past week), which also undoes the effects of this phenomenon to some extent.

The GOP held power for as long as they did BECAUSE they welcomed the nutbar kooky right to their big tent. Could Sarah Palin have been on their ticket otherwise? The dilemma facing the GOP right now is how to draw moderates back, without staying cracker enough to please the kooks.

(Canada's Conservative Party will soon have this issue as well, as their popularity wanes)

Anyhoo, the Cocktail Party is welcome. My wife's cocktail-hour nibblies are TO DIE FOR, and I can rock a BBQ. And a fez.
posted by Artful Codger at 12:21 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


They've got my vote.
posted by brundlefly at 12:22 PM on February 20, 2010


(oops WHILE staying cracker enough. I've had tee many martoonis...)
posted by Artful Codger at 12:23 PM on February 20, 2010


I get the feeling the Teabaggers won't get the joke. They think that those platforms are REAL in left-wing America, and that those things are Obama's agenda.

Which is good. Them falling for it will make them look even dumber, making them more and more fringe. The more fringe they get, the less useful they are as idiots for corporate America and the GOP.

I'd say, like alcohol, this is a net good.

NOT-TEETOTALER-IST
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:23 PM on February 20, 2010 [3 favorites]


We totally need to have a Cocktail Party Meetup/Rally Against Constricted Government.

I'll bring some lovely vanilla infused vodka and Swedish meatballs. Mmm...
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:25 PM on February 20, 2010


The fez is perfect. I see the teabagger reaction right now: "Isn't a fez one of those A-rab hats?"
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:27 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Sadly, a fez does not lend itself to flowing shoulder-length Viking Hair and waring a strap would be silly.
posted by The Whelk at 12:34 PM on February 20, 2010 [3 favorites]


I know! a bicycle helmet, lowest barrier to entry...
posted by infini at 12:36 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Plus, helps you if you have too many and fall down!
posted by The Whelk at 12:36 PM on February 20, 2010


i see you know the same people I do apparently ;p
posted by infini at 12:36 PM on February 20, 2010


LMGM, In the interest of shoving the overton window in the right direction, I propose that we mandate abortions, legalize marriage between species, and have doctors go door-to-door and heal you whether you like it or not, while raising the income tax to 99% for everyone. Who's with me?
posted by jewzilla at 12:37 PM on February 20, 2010 [7 favorites]


and have doctors go door-to-door and heal you whether you like it or not

"You can run but you can't hide, not with that cough."
posted by The Whelk at 12:41 PM on February 20, 2010 [3 favorites]


Sadly, a fez does not lend itself to flowing shoulder-length Viking Hair and waring a strap would be silly.

As a man with longer than shoulder-length hair, who owns a fez, if we work together, these difficulties can be overcome WITH SCIENCE! (or just a disregard for fashion sense or moving quickly)
posted by chambers at 1:05 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Is America ready for this self-proclaimed "motley crew ... who read Marx"

I don't think I believe that Tommy, Vince, Nikki, or Mick are really all that familiar with Marxist theory. Well, maybe Mick.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:09 PM on February 20, 2010 [3 favorites]


Funny, cuz my friend and I just yesterday were joking about a "beer party" (except in this case, it's kinda the opposite of this effete "motley crew")

Our slogan was "Beer Party, cuz Tea is for sissies!"

"A Lager in every Fridge"
posted by symbioid at 1:23 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


> Abolish prisons for all non violent crime

I think they were a bit over-simplistic with this item. Proper left wing urban homosexual political agendas state that economic-driven crime is a symptom of oppression, but white collar crimes committed by the already-rich are unforgivable crimes by people who can’t be rehabilitated.

amirite?
posted by parhamr at 1:23 PM on February 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


They already have my vote.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 1:24 PM on February 20, 2010


i'm holding out for the Stag Party.
posted by Primofex at 1:25 PM on February 20, 2010


Can we please make it a part of the platform that the "Tea Party" movement must always be referred to as the "Teabagger" movement?

Please, that would make me so very happy.
posted by treepour at 1:26 PM on February 20, 2010 [3 favorites]


They could stick a feather in their hats, and call it macaroni.
posted by symbioid at 1:26 PM on February 20, 2010 [4 favorites]


Sigh. This only points out how far the US is from the existence of a serious left-wing party, and really amounts to nothing but an effort to affront and provoke the tea party people.

Why, even now, haven't we heard of a renewed American Green Party, or Democratic Socialist Party, or Labor party? Or, remember the New Party?

Honestly, I'm thinking that the Palin-loving Tea Partiers are indeed the last best hope of the United States. Once/if the Tea Partiers splinter the Republicans, there will be an opportunity for a real left of center party to emerge to challenge the Democrats as well. Whatever party that is, it will need to include labor and environmental goals (weirdly absent here), and to advance a solidly reasonable agenda with an attitude of respectful inclusion, rather than petulant cultural superiority. But will a progressive alternative be ready? I'm not optimistic.

I'd love for the Cocktail Partiers to become a visible far-left voice, but I don't even see that potential here. That would require either spectacle, originality and panache, or real militancy. The apparent absence of these here would seem to prohibit the Cocktail Party from being more than a vanity exercise, though I'd love to be proven wrong.
posted by washburn at 1:47 PM on February 20, 2010 [9 favorites]


I shall be proud to consider myself a member of the Cocktail Party. I like the cut of their jib.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:52 PM on February 20, 2010


Based on Surprise Kitten's 20 million views, I'm pretty sure we could get a viable Kitteh Party going.


YARN FOR ALL!
posted by The Whelk at 1:59 PM on February 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


Proper left wing urban homosexual political agendas...

The Homosexual Agenda [Revised and updated.]
8:00 a.m. Wake up. Wonder where you are.

8:01 a.m. Realize you are laying on 100 percent cotton sheets of at least a 300 count, so don't panic; you're not slumming.

8:02 a.m. Realize you are actually in your own bed for a change. Wake stranger next to you and tell him you are late for work so won't be able to cook breakfast for him. Mutter "sorry" as you help him look for his far-flung underwear. You find out that you tore his boxers while ripping them off him last night, so you "loan" him a pair of boxer-briefs, but not the new ones because you never intend to see him again.

8:05 a.m. Tell the stranger, whose name eludes you, "It was fun. I'll give you a call," as you usher him out the door, avoiding his egregious morning-breath.

8:06 a.m. Crumple and dispose of the piece of paper with his telephone number on it when you get to the kitchen.

8:07 a.m. Make a high protein breakfast while watching Good Morning America. Wonder if the stories you've heard about George Stephanopoulos are true. Decide they must be.

8:30 a.m. Italian or domestic? Decide to go with three-button Italian and the only shirt that is clean.

8:45 a.m. Climb into red Z4 and try not to look too much like Barbie driving one of her accessories as you pull out of your underground parking. Prada or Armani sunglasses? Go with Prada.

9:35 a.m. Stroll into office.

9:36 a.m. Close door to office and call best friend and laugh about the guy who spent the night at your condo. Point out something annoying about best friend's boyfriend but quickly add "It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, just as long as you love him."

10:15 a.m. Leave office, telling your secretary you are "meeting with a client." Pretend not to notice her insubordinate roll of her eyes (or the cloying "poem" she has tacked to her cubicle wall).

10:30 a.m. Hair appointment for lowlights and cut. Purchase of Aveda anti-humectant pomade.

11:30 a.m. Run into personal trainer at gym. Pester him about getting you Human Growth Hormone. Spend 30 minutes talking to friends on your cell phone while using Hammer Strength machines, preparing a mental-matrix of which circuit parties everyone is going to and which are now passé.

12:00pm Tan. Schedule back-waxing in time for Saturday party where you know you will end up shirtless.

12:30 p.m. Pay trainer for anabolic steroids and schedule a workout. Shower, taking ten minutes to knot your tie while you check-out your best friend's boyfriend undress with the calculation of someone used to wearing a t-back and having dollars stuffed in their crotch.

1:00 p.m. Meet someone for whom you only know his waist, chest and penis size from Manhunt for lunch at a hot, new restaurant. Because the maître d' recognizes you from a gay bar, you are whisked past the Christian heterosexual couples who have been waiting patiently for a table since 12:30.

2:30 p.m. "Dessert at your place." Find out, once again, people lie on Manhunt.

3:33 p.m. Assume complete control of the U.S., state, and local governments (in addition to other nations' governments); destroy all healthy Christian marriages; recruit all children grades Kindergarten through 12 into your amoral, filthy lifestyle; secure complete control of the media, starting with sitcoms; molest innocent children; give AIDS to as many people as you can; host a pornographic "art" exhibit at your local art museum; and turn people away from Jesus, causing them to burn forever in Hell.

4:10 p.m. Time permitting, bring about the general decline of Western Civilization and look like you are having way too much fun doing it.

4:30 p.m. Take a disco-nap to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest and being so terribly witty.

6:00 p.m. Open a fabulous new bottle of Malbec.

6:47 P.M. Bake Ketamine for weekend. Test recipe.

7:00 P.M. Go to Abercrombie & Fitch and announce in a loud voice, "Over! Way over!"

7:40 P.M. Stop looking at the photographic displays at Abercrombie & Fitch and go to a cool store to begin shopping.

8:30 p.m. Light dinner with catty homosexual friends at a restaurant you will be "over" by the time it gets its first review in the local paper.

10:30 p.m. Cocktails at a debauched gay bar, trying to avoid alcoholic queens who can't navigate a crowd with a lit cigarette in one hand and a Grey Goose in a cheap plastic cup in the other. Make audible remark about how "trashy" people who still think smoking is acceptable are.

12:00 a.m. "Nightcap at your place." Find out that people lie in bars, too.
posted by ericb at 2:15 PM on February 20, 2010 [28 favorites]


I don't agree with all of their platform, but goddammit, I like their moxie!

This group is a joke, true. But it's truly scary that the crazy right is so fired up right now, it's a bit the opposite of 2008— now the left is either complacent or disheartened in general— and all that crazy energy and media attention makes many people think somehow that kind of insanity is legitimate, and that succumbing to their fear is a good thing. Seriously, I've been thinking about this alot; the extremism of the right, which has gotten so much attention merely for being extremist, has tilted the pudding-soft center to the right. "Hey! They're right! Things are scary, and the government is spending alot of money!" It's like what LMGM said, if extremism stretches the middle, it needs a hell of a lot of stretching to the left right about now.

I'd love to see a resurgence of energy on the left to counteract the tea party.
posted by Red Loop at 2:24 PM on February 20, 2010 [3 favorites]


In Canada, we had the Rhino Party fulfilling this role.

"Once we have Antarctica, we'll control all of the world's cold. If another Cold War starts, we'll be unbeatable."
posted by five fresh fish at 2:43 PM on February 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


Rats. I was really hoping to get my Blanket Party off the ground. Best part is, we get to say it's for the Republicans!
posted by Amanojaku at 2:47 PM on February 20, 2010


I like it because it mocks the Tea Party, but it's sadly disappointing that progressives/liberals are unable or unwilling to actually form a vocal political group to try and influence public opinion and politicians towards more progressive political policies.

This group is funny, but the Tea Party is deadly serious, influential, and a majority of Americans view them favorably. Mocking them like this will make a lot of Liberals/Dems giggle, but it will anger and alienate far more people in the middle and on the right, and do more do embolden them and undermine the progressive policies.

And honestly, if I had to guess, I bet Republican strategists love this (if not actually secretly behind this), because it's associating progressives with... sexually promiscuity, homosexuals, marxists, people who hate marriage etc. Again, that's funny to a narrow group of people - but it's offensive to a far wider audience. In as much as anyone notices this, it will be more effective at stigmatizing Progressives and their politics than it will help them.

It's a shame, because some of these policies are good. But they have to ruin them all by association with the other absurdist parody. What a shame. Will it still be funny when the Republicans are back in power?
posted by Davenhill at 2:49 PM on February 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


...a majority of Americans view them favorably...

Um, actually, no.
February 5, 2010: "One-third of Americans have a favorable view of the Tea Party movement, but a plurality has no opinion at all, according to a new national poll.

A CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey indicates that 26 percent of the public has an unfavorable view of the Tea Party movement and that 4 in 10 have not heard of the movement or don't know enough to form an opinion. The poll's Friday-morning release comes as what's billed as the first national Tea Party convention begins its first full day of meetings in Nashville."
1/3 (aka 33%) is hardly a majority.
posted by ericb at 3:05 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


The real question here is "can they spell"?
posted by pompomtom at 3:11 PM on February 20, 2010


Davenhill has it. Talk about hurting your own agenda. Why would you turn yourself into a satire in this way?
posted by ropeladder at 3:20 PM on February 20, 2010


Tea Party is deadly serious, influential, and a majority of Americans view them favorably

They're deadly serious, and maybe they're viewed somewhat favorably while the only thing they have to do is bitch. Influential? Probably not. Looks to me like what size and prominence they have is mostly a product of political operatives and media manipulators who have been working overtime to try and judo the angry populism that by all rights should be directed against the private sector and Republicans at the public sector and Democrats. I agree they've seen some success in terms of general sentiment, but so far nobody knows what the general effect may be or that if they have any capacity for leadership. I've seen no indication they can actually field viable candidates, so right now I'd bet the most they can do is manipulate sentiment, maybe pull some Republican primaries to the right, and kick off a few re-runs of the Scozzafava-Hoffman-Owens race.

Nobody on the left should want to be those people.
posted by namespan at 3:25 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


I bet Republican strategists love this (if not actually secretly behind this), because it's associating progressives with... sexually promiscuity, homosexuals...

In related news:
CPAC Conference Dissolves Into Right-Wing Civil War Over Gay Rights.

CPAC Speaker Attacks Conference for Including Gay group, Gets Booed.
posted by ericb at 3:30 PM on February 20, 2010 [3 favorites]


I agree with the entire agenda, with a variety of provisos and addenda. This further depresses me that I'll never be the part of a majority party. I mean, I just heard that Republicans are making hay because crotch bomber guy got Miranda warnings, and the weenie Democrats' best response is that Richard Reed got them too (not that, say, he OUGHT to have received them), well I guess things are worse than I thought.

*drinks a cocktail*
posted by norm at 3:51 PM on February 20, 2010


and then I have been invited to the decaf green tea party on April 15:

"Find a comfortable spot to sit with friends, sip tea, perhaps even munch on a tasty pastry, and discuss ... whatever the heck you'd like to discuss. Enjoy the day! Offer a cup to a stranger! Try to make a positive change to balance whatever anti-social craziness might be floating in the air that day! This should be a counter-protest of peace and common sense. The world needs help, not angry bag-wavers."
posted by francesca too at 3:54 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


As a conservative, I must say I am going to miss entertainment like this. I mean, after hearing about it with Bush for 8 freaking years, it's been quite refreshing watching the lame criticisms that are now leveled at the Republican party. John Stewart is probably the only one who can pull it off, which is no easy task mind you, what with the Democrats control all three branches of the federal government.

So by all means, continue. Rip away. Sarah Palin, the tea parties (and the dozens that attend them), whatever, they're all fair game. If they show it on MSNBC, it is significant.

Meanwhile, the Republicans that currently are in office, (i.e., Congress) never mind those types. They're just quietly dismantling the universal health care bill, cap-and-trade bill and the bank regulations.
posted by stevenstevo at 4:16 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


I bet I drink cocktails far more than any given Teabagger drinks tea. There's that.

I hope not. If there's one thing I don't doubt about the Tea Party, it's that its membership goes through tea by the gallon -- iced Lipton, sweet or unsweet. And the ladies will take it unsweet, and ask for some "pink sugar" if there's not any Sweet'n'Low already at the table to add. Now I want to go home and go to a restaurant; never mind me.
posted by Countess Elena at 4:18 PM on February 20, 2010


Meanwhile, the Republicans that currently are in office, (i.e., Congress) never mind those types. They're just quietly dismantling the universal health care bill, cap-and-trade bill and the bank regulations.

Not so quietly, really—they are quite loudly and openly trying to build their political capital on the platform of keeping the Democrats from getting anything done.

Fantastic point otherwise, though. The tea party is a sideshow.
posted by namespan at 5:04 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Primofex: i'm holding out for the Stag Party.

Done!
posted by hangashore at 5:13 PM on February 20, 2010


Well, it has certainly met my needs, by which I mean my need for a liberal Facebook group to join this week in order to lessen my irritation at the constant information that people in my social network have gone and joined groups like "OBAMA (One Big Ass Mistake America)" and "Ann Coulter Quotes."

This is reason enough for them to exist. I've been a ball of frustration lately, seeing the right energized and the left eat itself in ways that remind me of those agitating for Nader for 2000.

We need an outlet, a silly one is fine, doing something as futile as joining a futile facebook group, I think, before we can get our act together.
posted by angrycat at 6:33 PM on February 20, 2010


There will be a lot of Teabagging* by Cocktail members**, one expects. There's no reason this can't be bipartisan.

*In private, one hopes
**What else would one call them?

posted by bonehead at 6:36 PM on February 20, 2010


I always think of this The Tea Party.
posted by nat at 7:02 PM on February 20, 2010


**What else would one call them?

Cocky.
posted by The Whelk at 8:57 PM on February 20, 2010


There will be a lot of Teabagging* by Cocktail members**, one expects.

Beware the law of unintended consequences. If this is too good a Cocktail Party, everyone will vote for a Teabag Party afterwards.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:39 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is well in the vein of my new political action committee: Socialist Homosexual Atheists for the Metric System (SHAMS).
posted by potch at 10:45 PM on February 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


ericb: 1/3 (aka 33%) is hardly a majority.
FWIW I was going from my recollection of this Zogby article, Boiling Tea, where likely voters who are favorable to the Tea Baggers are reckoned to be a plurality (47%) just shy of a majority. There is an ambivalent 8% in the middle that, push comes to shove, are more likely to identify with the Tea Baggers than the Cocktail Party.
posted by Davenhill at 11:23 PM on February 20, 2010


The sad part is that for a brief moment I thought finally, at along last, Progressives had found the will to organize, champion their beliefs, and push back against the hate and insanity on the Right wing.

Nope.com
posted by Davenhill at 11:29 PM on February 20, 2010 [3 favorites]


If there's one thing I don't doubt about the Tea Party, it's that its membership goes through tea by the gallon -- iced Lipton,

LIPTON IS NOT TEA.

I love tea and don't drink cocktails as they interfere with my medication - but man, do I ever hate the Tea Party, though Sarah Palin makes an excellent Mad Hatter. No one even bothers to wear hats and gloves! GAH!

I'll join the cocktail party if I'm allowed to drink a Shirley Temple with a nice little umbrella in it.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:52 AM on February 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Bitch, Lipton knows tea!
posted by The Devil Tesla at 8:07 AM on February 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Lipton: We Know Tea.
We just don't use any of that knowledge in its manufacture.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:09 AM on February 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


Davenhill has it. Talk about hurting your own agenda. Why would you turn yourself into a satire in this way?

Well, there's room enough for every voice. How about those with the energy and the savvy fill in the space between the cocktails and the Democratic center with an only-slightly-less-entertaining yet deadly serious movement?

Your comment makes you sound like you think the left's ideas are fragile to the point that a joke can break them. They aren't--our ideas are humane and can work and are far more rational than the other sides--we're just not selling them well enough. (Which has always been odd to me, seeing as we have Hollywood, Madison avenue, and just about every creative thinker in the country).
posted by wires at 8:30 AM on February 21, 2010


Too bad there are no creative thinkers in private enterprise.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 9:16 AM on February 21, 2010


John Stewart is probably the only one who can pull it off, which is no easy task mind you, what with the Democrats control all three branches of the federal government.

FFS. There is no "John Stewart" on television.

And last I checked, there was very little liberalism coming out of the SCOTUS.
posted by hippybear at 9:57 AM on February 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


There is a Rush Limbaugh, though. How can "Free Speech" possibly ameliorate the damage that racist bastard is causing? That fucker is becoming mind-bogglingly wealthy through his promotion of hate. And he is influencing the social direction of society. Being paid to take you down.

I dunno what the answer is, but good luck with that. It's pretty frightening how unbalanced the conservative view has become. Hate seems to be winning.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:40 AM on February 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


wires: Your comment makes you sound like you think the left's ideas are fragile to the point that a joke can break them. They aren't--our ideas are humane and can work and are far more rational than the other sides--we're just not selling them well enough. (Which has always been odd to me, seeing as we have Hollywood, Madison avenue, and just about every creative thinker in the country).
I will freely admit your point of view sounds more reasonable than mine, and I guess it is, but I respectfully commend to your attention to how the last 8 years of American politics has played out. When patently absurd lies like "death panels" can derail one of the defining issues of the last presidential election, health care reform, yes, I'd say the Left's ideas are incredibly fragile.

It might be true that the Left simply isn't selling its ideas well enough, but I think that misses the greater point that whatever the problem is (be it the strength of the ideas and/or the way those ideas are marketed) the Left continually struggles and routinely fails to make any meaningful progress. And I also fear that a big part of the problem is that the Left continually underestimates the harm that can be done by small, patently absurd/superficial/trivial/untrue things like "The Dean Scream", "Death Panels", "I voted for it before I voted against it", "well, there you go again", "lockbox" (SIGH), and so on.

The 2004 election was lost in no small part because of the damage done by the Swift Boat Vets and how well the issue of gay marriage worked as a 'get out the vote' effort for conservative voters who otherwise would have stayed at home. And the midterm election is shaping up to be lost on a bunch of manufactured, nonsense grievances and fears like... well, just check the signage at the Tea Party rallies.

(maybe not the best examples, but elections and major reform efforts often do fail over fairly superficial things. And there's nothing about the Democrats that inspires any confidence in their ability to articulate their ideas well enough to sell them even absent an opposition, yet alone with an opposition that is entirely unconstrained by facts, decency, or morality).
posted by Davenhill at 11:58 AM on February 21, 2010


wires: Again, what Davenhill said. I don't think the left's ideas are fragile... when I read over the Cocktail Party list my first thought was "the terrible part is that these are a reality for a significant number of countries." It's the presentation that is fragile.

Also, I don't know any Ad Men, but I would definitely hesitate to assume we "have" Madison Avenue. Creativity isn't always a slave to the highest bidder, but the bidders usually do most of the amplification.
posted by ropeladder at 12:18 PM on February 21, 2010


I think Emma Goldman would have approved of this form of revolution. It looks like they get their share of dancing in.
posted by immlass at 12:27 PM on February 21, 2010


In a hundred years that fucking quote will be the only thing she is remembered for.
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:32 PM on February 21, 2010


is anybody besides me sick of this whole false dichotomy?
posted by jonmc at 3:46 PM on February 21, 2010 [2 favorites]


Maybe, some day, there will be an actual party that encompasses the working class, and not this effete dilettante, culture wars bullshit
posted by Snyder at 4:32 PM on February 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


There used to be movements for the working class in this country. By and large they were either killed or deported back in the 20's.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:38 PM on February 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Or Taft-Hartley-ed.
posted by Snyder at 11:45 PM on February 21, 2010


Why does everybody seem to assume that this party's stated aims are merely jokes? They all look worthy of considered debate to me. Change "abolish marriage" to "expand allowable forms of marriage" and throw in a renewables-only energy policy and I'm sold.

There would of course need to be an elite group of paid organizers, who would be distinguished from the rank and file by wearing one of these instead of the fez.
posted by flabdablet at 7:29 AM on February 22, 2010


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