Juggalo News

February 22, 2010 6:26 PM

"He needs to step up to congress and say 'if this legislation goes through, I've got a hatchet with your dick's name on it.'" (SLYT)
posted by griphus (61 comments total)

Funnier than I expected. Well produced.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:29 PM on February 22, 2010 [5 favorites]

I'm not sure, but I think the guy who played Phats Cockstrangla is the same guy from the Cock Shot infomercial.
posted by albrecht at 6:33 PM on February 22, 2010 [4 favorites]

If someone autotunes this we'll have reached the apex of civilization.
posted by Skorgu at 6:35 PM on February 22, 2010 [4 favorites]

Oh my god I can't stop laughing at the Cock Shot thing.
posted by griphus at 6:36 PM on February 22, 2010

I can't let this post go by without a shout out to uncleozzy's brilliant Christmas miracle "God Rest Ye Merry Juggalos."
posted by umbú at 6:37 PM on February 22, 2010

"Dr. Hercules B. Pussyfiend" has me totally losing my shit.
posted by briank at 6:38 PM on February 22, 2010

Slap Chop Remix
posted by Dick Laurent is Dead at 6:39 PM on February 22, 2010 [17 favorites]

That slap chop remix was truly incredible. Thank you, Dick.
posted by strangememes at 6:46 PM on February 22, 2010

The 'Shit's Fucked Up Hospital' commercial was good.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 6:48 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

From the creators of the Sex Offender Shuffle.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 6:51 PM on February 22, 2010

So basically, if I want to disguise myself among Juggalos, all I need to do is get some clown-esque facepaint and talk as basely as possible?
posted by dunkadunc at 6:51 PM on February 22, 2010

So basically, if I want to disguise myself among Juggalos, all I need to do is get some clown-esque facepaint and talk as basely as possible?

Outside of anthropological reasons, I am terrified of the situation arising which would require you to have an accurate answer to this question.
posted by griphus at 6:53 PM on February 22, 2010 [13 favorites]

FUCK ALL FIFTY-TWO STATES!
posted by Rat Spatula at 6:59 PM on February 22, 2010

For a second I thought this was Fox News. Must be all the clown shiet yo.
posted by ratita at 7:01 PM on February 22, 2010

>: FUCK ALL FIFTY-TWO STATES!

Wow. They booked ICP and expected it to NOT devolve into a violent burning rapefest?
posted by dunkadunc at 7:10 PM on February 22, 2010

I also just noticed that the "GLENN BECK'S DOPE-ASS NEWSOCAUST" font is the exact same as that on the ICP "BANG POW BOOM" sampler sitting next to my computer.
posted by dunkadunc at 7:14 PM on February 22, 2010

from the "fuck the world" comments:

Yeah, fuck lyle lovette, whoever the fuck that is.


No really, who the fuck is he?

I just googled him, and he's some old ass country guy that was married to julia roberts, fuck him.

Yeah, fuck him.


Wow.
posted by djduckie at 7:16 PM on February 22, 2010

I must echo that the slap chop video is pretty incredible.
posted by localhuman at 7:17 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dope-Ass Newsocaust!
posted by Mister_A at 7:20 PM on February 22, 2010

It's about time our Ninja-American bretheren had a newscast to address concerns relevant to their culture.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:25 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Can we not let this become popular culture? They're still fringe, right?
posted by Salvor Hardin at 7:25 PM on February 22, 2010

DUDE YOU MISQUOTED MURDER BITCH!!!!!!!!!
posted by washburn at 7:27 PM on February 22, 2010

I can't tell whether ICP is earnestly, relentlessly goofing on everything or seriously fucked up or what. Keep in mind that I thought Korn was totally taking the piss when I accidentally saw them with Rev. Horton Heat-- when I see acts like this I always assume it's just a big goof.
posted by Mister_A at 7:33 PM on February 22, 2010

I scarcely even heard of ICP before I went on Metafilter. (Blame my east coast elitist upbringing.) Is this place just a hangout for closet juggalos? Because if so, I'm sorry for polluting this Dark Circus with my Gaga love.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:36 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Can we not let this become popular culture? They're still fringe, right?

I can't tell whether ICP is earnestly, relentlessly goofing on everything or seriously fucked up or what.

I think our day and age is Andy Warhol's wet dream. Thanks to both niche communities and the ever-presence of the Internet everyone can stumble into momentary fame and it is either for doing "nothing" (LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE), or for doing something the authenticity of which is completely incomprehensible and lost on the fans and critics alike.

Are ICP taking the piss? Was KISS? Are Vampire Weekend? Were the Ramones? Is Lady Gaga? How about Brokencyde? What determines this? The insufferability of their fans or their ability to be in on the joke with a straight face? The quality of the music or the bathing in the glory of the lack thereof?

...we'll be right back and shit.
posted by griphus at 7:40 PM on February 22, 2010 [7 favorites]

Aren't those "hatchets" in the graphic supposed to be meat cleavers? (JUGGALOS: That's the human word for "hatchet")
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:43 PM on February 22, 2010

As much as I love the Slap Chop video, it was somewhat ruined for me by the fact that Vince was arrested in Miami Beach for felony battery of a 26-year-old prostitute.

That may not sound so bad, but then you see what he did: here and (NSFW, nudity) here.

I don't know about you, but for me that kinda sucks the funny out of that video.
posted by Ryvar at 7:43 PM on February 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

The best part of this was that Sarah Palin was appropriately left painted as in situ
posted by Blasdelb at 7:44 PM on February 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

Not that I'm against that shit, griphus. And for the record I really wish those bitch-ass motherfuckers Korn were just funnin' us. Heck maybe they are. But I don't think so, I think they think their beats are dope etc.
posted by Mister_A at 7:51 PM on February 22, 2010

Can we have some sort of warning for ICP-related posts, like we do for PDFs?

I don't want anything to do with them, even in jest.
posted by Drainage! at 7:53 PM on February 22, 2010

I'm diggin' the Diablo font in the ticker.
posted by Nattie at 8:01 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

I hate when my ears shit my pants.
posted by spicynuts at 8:12 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

From the Youtube comments: that made me understand politics better :)

We've had our juggalo issues in the past, but if this makes even one person get interested in what's going on with regard to the people running this country, I'm all for it.
posted by Big_B at 8:13 PM on February 22, 2010

I don't want anything to do with them, even in jest.

Actually, I enjoy them - it's hard to get hold of nihilist satire these days. It's a guilty pleasure, at least when I'm in the right mindset.

I'm appalled that folks believe ICP espouses a consistent ethical and moral framework from which to base a lifestyle, though - it's like watching Gallagher and believing that you must then find a mallet with which to smash all of your problems away.
posted by FormlessOne at 8:15 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Amazing.

Loved it and so did my bitch.
posted by smackwich at 8:20 PM on February 22, 2010

never seeing them before, what was the most weird thing was this group of white people in white face talk about a black president
posted by angrycat at 8:26 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

especially talk about a black president in gangsta speak. although maybe that's their schtick. i'd google it and find out but am too squeeved about the prostitute battery to really want to know more.
posted by angrycat at 8:39 PM on February 22, 2010

This needed to be, like, 54 seconds long.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:39 PM on February 22, 2010

especially talk about a black president in gangsta speak. although maybe that's their schtick. i'd google it and find out but am too squeeved about the prostitute battery to really want to know more.

You just defined the Juggalos, man.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:40 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Quoth my boyfriend just now: "Imagine if Lady Gaga was a Juggalo."

The mind reels.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 8:50 PM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Me to bitter_girl.com: "Wow, Murderbitch is really right about that hatchet thing."
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:50 PM on February 22, 2010

(To clarify: bitter_girl.com is not my girlfriend. Which is another way of saying: YO MURDERBITCH CALL A NINJA SUP)
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:51 PM on February 22, 2010

I can't tell whether ICP is earnestly, relentlessly goofing on everything or seriously fucked up or what.

Started out earnestly, relentlessly goofing on everything, then was seriously fucked up and is now or what.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:54 PM on February 22, 2010 [4 favorites]

Me & kittens are talking about this thread on the phone with my boyfriend, though. The concept of Olympic ice dancer Juggalos just came up...now THAT is scary.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 9:04 PM on February 22, 2010

sage goes in all fields
posted by parhamr at 9:10 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

ICP falls into that category of stupid/brilliant that makes me think 'wish I'd thought of that.'

And, love this fuckin' post. Bitches.

I also love that my first "related post" is Sesame Street News(filter)
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:11 PM on February 22, 2010

Metafilter: like watching Gallagher and believing that you must then find a mallet with which to smash all of your problems away.
posted by vorpal bunny at 9:12 PM on February 22, 2010

I'm sippin on the rock'n'rye right NOW!
posted by ofthestrait at 9:57 PM on February 22, 2010

I'm diggin' the Diablo font in the ticker.

That font is called Exocet, and you can download it here.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:27 PM on February 22, 2010

griphus: "He needs to step up to congress and say 'if this legislation goes through, I've got a hatchet with your dick's name on it.'" (SLYT)

Dude, your FPP is one. sentence. long. and you get that wrong?

He needs to step up to Congress and say, 'if ^^Either this legislation goes through, ^^or I've got a hatchet with your dick's name on it."

In other news, I'd definitely watch Shit's Fucked Up Hospital.
posted by WCityMike at 10:37 PM on February 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

strangememes: That slap chop remix was truly incredible. Thank you, Dick.

If you like that, strangememes, try the other stuff of D.J. Steve Porter which made it to the memestream: Henry Rollins feat. Technoviking, Attack of the Show Rap, and Shamwow Jam.
posted by WCityMike at 10:43 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm appalled that folks believe ICP espouses a consistent ethical and moral framework from which to base a lifestyle, though...

...like motherfucking church or some shit.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:45 PM on February 22, 2010

The whole "here's our last album, btw we did it for god lol" thing makes them one of the best trolls of the last century.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:49 PM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

A few years ago, I was all WTF ICP? I mean...seriously.

Then Metafilter showed me that the "...seriously" was to be taken off. It's just "WTF ICP". I suppose the "Fuck Yeah" at the end isn't really optional, like the anchovy on a Caesar salad.

Another thing...the news analysis was actually - I mean really, and truly - more succinct and to the point than you get on any news show. "They don't want Obama getting up in their shit" really does sum up the idea behind Republican obstreperousness in a better way than anyone has expressed before.
posted by Xoebe at 10:49 PM on February 22, 2010

CAN'T SLEEP CHUCK TODD WILL GET ME.
posted by trondant at 11:44 PM on February 22, 2010

From the Juggalo entry on Wikipedia:

Some students are prohibited from wearing Insane Clown Posse paraphernalia while at school. In Waterbury, Connecticut, several high school students were sent home for wearing Psychopathic Records clothing. The following week, they were given approval to continue wearing the clothing, stipulating that juggalos work to ease tensions with other students.

My bolding above -- aww! juggalos defusing tensions and bringing people together. What we need, perhaps, is a Juggalo envoy to the middle east.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 6:09 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

The following week, they were given approval to continue wearing the clothing, stipulating that juggalos work to ease tensions with other students.

A school where the people in charge actually come to conclude that it is the behavior of people that is causing problems and not a result of the clothing they are wearing??! Someone get me a fainting couch! This must be an Onion article!
posted by haveanicesummer at 8:00 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]

Also i feel safe admitting that i was into ICP when I was like 14 and it was just me and one other person at my school who liked them. For "dress as your favorite band" day (spirit week or some crap) we more or less went on the honor system that we would do the face paint (being that we didn't see each other until the very end of the day and both were very concerned that the other wouldn't do the make-up). The whole day everyone asked us if we were kiss.

The next year everyone else got in to them, but especially really trashy people, and all of a sudden it was like that mosquito ringtone, i just couldn't hear them anymore. I've been off the "dead body wagon" for about 11 years now, and i have to say it all seems goofy to me. People talking about their little alternate reality as real. Sometimes i still ask if their fan base was always white trash and i just couldn't see it,if the tide switched or (worst case) i was white trash and somehow overcame it.
posted by djduckie at 10:56 AM on February 23, 2010

Well, okay, I guess if you want to call your hatchet "Mr. Thunder, Bringer of Pleasure" that's your business.
posted by gern at 11:00 AM on February 23, 2010

Also Scott Gairdner is rapidly becoming one of my favorite sources of internet comedy.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:16 PM on February 23, 2010

There needs to be a House episode where they have a Juggalo patient and House pretends to be down with the clowns in order to piss off Wilson.
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:23 PM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]