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February 23, 2010 5:50 AM   Subscribe

8 Ways to Make Beatles Rock Band More Appealing to 14 Year Old Boys Quick recommendations to make the next edition of Beatles Rock Band more appealing to fourteen year old boys, based on the findings of my investigation.
posted by will wait 4 tanjents (87 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
It’s up to his bandmates to stop the Paul-creature, and they are conflicted between warm feelings for their old friend, and the horror of what he’s become.

Isn't this pretty much what really happened?
posted by Naberius at 6:00 AM on February 23, 2010 [21 favorites]


The premise which this article is based upon is that Beatles Rock Band was aiming at 14-year-old boys and missed. The game is chock-full of nostalgia, and is aimed primarily toward people who enjoy the Beatles, and folks who are already Rock Band devotees.

My only real criticism of the game is that it's not really cross-functional with regular Rock Band, so my mohawked punk rocker can't belt out Helter-Skelter. That, and the psychedelic hippie colors sometimes felt a bit harder to read than the bright primary colors of regular Rock Band, especially when "Beatle-Mania" is activated, and there's swirls and shit going on.
posted by explosion at 6:06 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'd vote for the "dragons, gnomes, wizards, and “thunderhawks.”" one.

But aside from that, though I applaud what they did for the music world I really don't like their music, and think people have put them on a pedestal. In my humble opinion they don't deserve the credit they get.

I would rather expose my kids to the Grateful Dead.
posted by zombieApoc at 6:08 AM on February 23, 2010 [5 favorites]


Make a Duck Hunt game, but replace the word Duck with Yoko.
posted by ExitPursuedByBear at 6:10 AM on February 23, 2010


It reads like a cross between Dave Barry and Erna Bombeck.

But I have Guitar Hero 1, 2, and Rocks The 80's. They collect dust too, as do my copies of Mario Kart Wii, Bioshock, and soon so will COD: WAW, now that I beat it this week. So that really isn't a Beatles thing going on here. We beat games, then we forget them.
posted by sourwookie at 6:15 AM on February 23, 2010


Uh isn;t there a classical rock revival going on with the 14-20ish set now or is my Led-loving brother an outlier?
posted by The Whelk at 6:17 AM on February 23, 2010


I would rather expose my kids to the Grateful Dead.

You really don't want to know what I pictured when I read that.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 6:17 AM on February 23, 2010 [7 favorites]


The Whelk I've been teaching 10 years and every year there are teenagers wearing, Zepplin, Doors, Beatles,The Who, Sabbath, Iron Maiden, AC/DC shirts without fail. Funny enough, never, ever see a Rolling Stones T-Shirt, and the kids have no Idea who they are.
posted by ExitPursuedByBear at 6:24 AM on February 23, 2010 [5 favorites]


Oh man the Doors are like Chicken Pox, you gotta get them before you're 15 or they become dangerous.
posted by The Whelk at 6:26 AM on February 23, 2010 [44 favorites]


Funny enough, never, ever see a Rolling Stones T-Shirt, and the kids have no Idea who they are.

Yeah, funny thing about the Rolling Stones. When I was that age, for some reason I had put the Stones in the category of 'oh they just have those few songs, I don't want to hear any of their albums.' It wasn't until I was in college that I realized that 'those few songs' were approximately half of all classic rock radio's rotation. I'm not entirely sure why they function that way, but it's like the Stones are such an obviously huge band that they're easy to overlook.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:31 AM on February 23, 2010


The best way to cure the classic rock measles (if you are inclined to cure them) is a steady diet of New Wave; hit them with enough synths and androgyny.
posted by oddman at 6:32 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]


sourwookie: It reads like a cross between Dave Barry and Erma Bombeck.

/shudder/ Thank-you for this horrifyingly evocative caution.

the whelk: Uh isn;t there a classical rock revival going on with the 14-20ish set now or is my Led-loving brother an outlier?

I've noticed the Led Zep phase as something lots of straight guys do when they get to college. Both when I went (mid-late 80's), and my teenage relatives today (all born well after Coda). Beats the hell out of Creed I guess.
posted by applemeat at 6:33 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


I am waiting for the release of Hawkwind Rock Band.

Singing songs about Elric of Melnibone and Stormbringer always brings the family together.
posted by longbaugh at 6:34 AM on February 23, 2010 [8 favorites]


But aside from that, though I applaud what they did for the music world I really don't like their music, and think people have put them on a pedestal. In my humble opinion they don't deserve the credit they get.

I would rather expose my kids to the Grateful Dead.


I was with you, right up until that last part.
posted by brand-gnu at 6:34 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


I have a copy of Don Quixote sitting on my shelf gathering cobwebs that I haven't read in -oh, I'd say- three years. And that has necromancers and poop jokes!
posted by yeti at 6:37 AM on February 23, 2010


Uh isn;t there a classical rock revival going on with the 14-20ish set now or is my Led-loving brother an outlier?

Now? No. Always.

I work in a record store. A teen is more apt to buy classic rock than contemporary or alternative rock. In my shop, Mott the Hoople outsells Modest Mouse by a landslide.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 6:38 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


The best way to cure the classic rock measles (if you are inclined to cure them) is a steady diet of New Wave; hit them with enough synths and androgyny.

Again, what happened to me. If you wanna know what the teenaged Whelk looked like, imagine a pair of jeans, a flannel shirt over a Ziggy stardust t-shirt and hair that not be properly washed for cut in months.
posted by The Whelk at 6:39 AM on February 23, 2010


So tired of Boomer cultural hegemony. Let me know when there's a Kraftwerk version out.
posted by Scoo at 6:43 AM on February 23, 2010 [16 favorites]


I need to find a way to make Beatles Rock Band (and Rock Band as well) less appealing to my 14 year old. At least during the school year.
posted by thanotopsis at 6:43 AM on February 23, 2010


I will forever love Beatles Rock Band, as it has turned my 7- and 4-year-old children into Beatles fans to a level that might never have happened, if at all. You haven't lived until you've heard a 4-year-old girl singing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" at the top of her lungs.
posted by jbickers at 6:44 AM on February 23, 2010 [4 favorites]


The Whelk I've been teaching 10 years and every year there are teenagers wearing, Zepplin, Doors, Beatles,The Who, Sabbath, Iron Maiden, AC/DC shirts without fail. Funny enough, never, ever see a Rolling Stones T-Shirt, and the kids have no Idea who they are.
posted by ExitPursuedByBear at 9:24 AM on February 23 [+] [!]


IDK why you never see Stones shirts - walmart had them for girls 4-14 the last 2 years, alongside all the hannah montana stuff. and the revival of rawk among the young comes out of all the 70s-80s rock samples in hip-hop the last 5 years.

when the grey album came out my nephews were all like, "ew, too rock." then two years later they were downloading black sabbath off limewire. fwiw my 10-y/o nephew has mastered every song in whatever editions of rock band he has, no matter how rock, just for the points. and he's not even a nerd.
posted by toodleydoodley at 6:45 AM on February 23, 2010


After the release of Abbey Road in 1969, the Beatles break up publicly as Lennon walks away from the band. He is not seen or heard from in years, although his former bandmates say that they have been in contact with him recently and that he is hard at work in the studio, somewhere in an undisclosed location.

In 1974, the rest of the band goes missing. There is a worldwide hunt for the Beatles, but nobody can track down where they are. Other members of the Beatles retinue, as well as some of the investigators and fans who were looking for the band, start to go missing. The media whispers about some vast Beatles conspiracy.

Until on Christmas Day, 1977, when a new Lennon song, "Imagine" is broadcast over the radio from an undisclosed location. It is quickly followed by several new Beatles songs and multiple solo songs. The pirate broadcast continues until New Years Day when it is cut off, followed only by looped message welcoming any who are interested to come to the Beatles new home, a vast underwater complex called Rapture that Lennon has painstakingly restored to be his (and the band's) own personal Eden. The Doors to Rapture will remain open until New Years Day 1979. After that, they will turn their back on the world.

You play as Zak Starkey, orphaned son of Ringo Starr. You grew up under the care of Keith Moon who cut back on his hard living when your parents abandoned you back in '74. On the eve of your 18th birthday, Moon is murdered before he can tell you some big secret involving your dad and the rest of his band. Finding Keith's journal, you find just enough clues to make you feel the need to go to Rapture to confront the Beatles. Your trip is financed by David Bowie who accompanies you for possibly sinister reasons of his own.

However, word gets out of your trip to Rapture and music fans from all over the world, desperate to get into the underwater complex, piggyback their way in, crash the party. There is an accident - your bathysphere goes down. Your last sights are of your father coming to rescue you in the yellow submarine you knew would need to be referenced at some point and of those crazed fans breaking their way in to the city. You drift in and out of a coma for six months before waking up.

The game begins with you as a newly minted prince of musicality. Rapture has struggled to absorb the new influx of people, fans whose ideas and new wave hairdos are at conflict with the utopia the Beatles built. When he first came to Rapture, Lennon found a way to synthesize ADAM from the songs that dwell within our hearts. So long as everyone was in harmony, there was no need for the horrors of the Little Sisters and their lurching protectors. But no band can stay in sync forever. The old order was starting to break down before your arrival, but now the process is accelerating.

Your task is to restore peace to Rapture, learn what Keith Moon had hoped to tell you, and uncover the horrible truth that beats at the heart of the city. You are both a stranger and a prince of this new wonderful, terrible land.

It's BioShock 3: The Beatles 2: Come Together.

(Cue scratchy version of Octopus's Garden.)
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:49 AM on February 23, 2010 [141 favorites]


Can it have a bit where you discover the skeletal remains of Keith Moon in a Lincoln Continental at the bottom of the ocean?
posted by longbaugh at 6:54 AM on February 23, 2010


It's BioShock 3: The Beatles 2: Come Together.

This is the best thing ever. Double secret favorite.
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 6:54 AM on February 23, 2010


...and then the Venture Brothers come crashing in after their Swimming Eye malfunctions.
posted by The Whelk at 6:57 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]


you lot are *so* wierd.
posted by infini at 6:57 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


I remember being a teenager in the late '70s and having my much older sisters give me a hard time about listening to "old" music all the time. They'd ask me why I wanted to listen to their music from the sixties and early seventies when I should be listening to music from my own time. And then 25 years later, my high-school aged son was listening to music from the early seventies.
posted by octothorpe at 7:01 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]


All it needs is for the music to turn down the suck, and turn up the good.
posted by scruss at 7:05 AM on February 23, 2010


I don't mean to downplay the enduring genius of classic rock, but I imagine the reason you see a lot of kids in neo-retro AC/DC shirts and the like is because they sell them at Wal-Mart, Target, and every major retailer. I ran into a kid at the mall buying a Misfits shirt that didn't know the Crimson Ghost logo represented a band.

Not to say there aren't kids who genuinely dig on classic rock, or at least think they do for the moment (When I was in high school, every stoner I knew went through their Jimi Hendrix / Doors / etc. phase; the only reason i can fathom is because someone told them that people who did drugs listen to such music).

I'm sure if they sold Velvet Acid Christ shirts at Target you'd see a few kids wearing them, even if they weren't as familiar with their discography one might hope.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:12 AM on February 23, 2010


And then 25 years later, my high-school aged son was listening to music from the early seventies.

yet more proof that western culture hasn't come up with a single new idea in the last 30 years. Just new ways to package the old shit. I blame Reagan - for everything.
posted by any major dude at 7:22 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


yet more proof that western culture hasn't come up with a single new idea in the last 30 years.
posted TO THE FUCKING INTERNET by any major dude at 7:22 AM on 2/23 [+] [!]
posted by clearly at 7:27 AM on February 23, 2010 [33 favorites]


...but yea, Beatles Rock Band will never appeal to 14 year olds because it lacks a Raining Blood by Slayer type song that makes you want to fail all over again and again and again.

kind of like listening to Slayer without the video game aspect I suppose.
posted by clearly at 7:29 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


clearly wrote:

yet more proof that western culture hasn't come up with a single new idea in the last 30 years.
posted TO THE FUCKING INTERNET by any major dude at 7:22 AM on 2/23 [+] [!]


Clearly, you are mistaken, the internet was invented in the 60's.
posted by any major dude at 7:34 AM on February 23, 2010


But did we have LOLCATS then? No. Your argument is invalid.
posted by The Whelk at 7:36 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


The LOLCATS have always been with us.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:43 AM on February 23, 2010


Odd coincidence. I just got TBRB two days ago as an early birthday present ($140 at Costco!). Fun fun fun game. Anyone (14-yr-old boy or otherwise) who doesn't find the game fun enough now isn't going to find it fun later.

That being said, when my (soon-to-be) 14-yr-old son finds out I have this game, he'll be excited.
posted by grubi at 7:43 AM on February 23, 2010


I'd vote for the "dragons, gnomes, wizards, and “thunderhawks.”" one.

I went to the toy store recently looking for board games and found my childhood favorite Stratego there. I picked up the box and just stared at it dumbfounded from a good 3 or 4 seconds while my mind processed what I was seeing. The artwork went from an 18th century warfare motif to this LOTR-type Dragons and Knights game. I'm guessing this happened around the time the Peter Jackson movies got big.
posted by damn dirty ape at 7:46 AM on February 23, 2010


The ARPAnet was invented in the 60s. The INTERNET was invented in the 80s. F. T. W.
posted by grubi at 7:47 AM on February 23, 2010


But did we have LOLCATS then? No. Your argument is invalid.

What's delaying my dinner?
posted by Dr-Baa at 7:48 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


I want to play the Zombie John Lennon one, but as Pete Best, trying to foil Lennon's plans. You get to team up with characters like Billy Preston and Stuart Sutcliffe.
posted by damn dirty ape at 7:49 AM on February 23, 2010


Stuart Sutcliffe

I tried to play bass on TBRB, but I kept turning m back to the audience so the couldn't see how bad I was.
posted by grubi at 7:51 AM on February 23, 2010


What's delaying my dinner?


The Sickness is spreading across space ...and time ...and meaning.
posted by The Whelk at 7:57 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm waiting for the Ruttles Rock Band game to come out.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:00 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]


Isn't the ideal way to make Beatles Rock Band more appealing the simplest one? Less Beatles.

(Yes, I get the point was to poke fun at the tired old game cliches that the kids are into these days -- and a decent job of it was done -- but hey, grandpa, the reason nobody wants to play your grandpa music game is because it's full of grandpa music.)

Excuse me while I go stick another Exodus album on my 8 year old's music player.
posted by majick at 8:12 AM on February 23, 2010


8 Ways to Make Beatles Rock Band More Appealing to 14 Year Old Boys

Four pairs of naked boobies on the box.
posted by Splunge at 8:16 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


TFA's recommendation number eight: "Same as the regular Beatles Rock Band, but with tits."
posted by Naberius at 8:45 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


I went to the toy store recently looking for board games and found my childhood favorite Stratego there. I picked up the box and just stared at it dumbfounded from a good 3 or 4 seconds while my mind processed what I was seeing. The artwork went from an 18th century warfare motif to this LOTR-type Dragons and Knights game. I'm guessing this happened around the time the Peter Jackson movies got big.

Incidentally, the Kniezia game Lord of the Rings: The Confrontation is an excellent version of Stratego.
posted by kmz at 8:50 AM on February 23, 2010


this is bullshit. everyone knows the next rock band needs to be Rock Band: Silverhawks
posted by shmegegge at 8:53 AM on February 23, 2010


Those little shits can pound sand. If Beatles Rock Band were less appealing to 14-year olds, maybe I'd have a better chance of actually finding and buying the Wii version.
posted by box at 8:56 AM on February 23, 2010


My group of friends played a lot of Rockband 2, and went through a Beatles Rockband phase when it came out. We played through all the songs, had a fantastic time, and promptly went back to Rockband 2.

I'd thought that the replay value on it was low simply because it wasn't a major Rockband release, but now we've been having a blast playing Lego Rockband for weeks, so I've been thinking about the difference between the two games.

Beatles Rockband was gorgeous; the music, the backgrounds, the instruments were all slick as hell, creative, imaginative, brilliant. But in the end, it was the same exact Rockband, just themed and polished, with a more limited set of songs. Oh, and harmony, which we've never really used. And less interactivity.

The ability to customize your characters was taken out, making the band much less of an RPG, and more of a static Beatles simulator. It was incredibly faithful to the Beatles' history and music, but it simply wasn't much fun.

Lego Rockband went in a completely different direction; they shoved more and more interactivity into it. The music wanders from awesome to cheesy to oh my god this sucks, but you get to use the Lego items you collect to customize your Lego characters, decorate your Lego rock hangout, make albums, and even change your roadies. And you get to use the power of rock to tear down buildings and defeat giant octopi.

We discovered that we have a much harder time five-starring songs when we're laughing our asses off.

I may go back and play Beatles Rockband solo sometime; it's good practice. But it's just not a fun game.
posted by MrVisible at 9:12 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


My only real criticism of the game is that it's not really cross-functional with regular Rock Band, so my mohawked punk rocker can't belt out Helter-Skelter. That, and the psychedelic hippie colors sometimes felt a bit harder to read than the bright primary colors of regular Rock Band, especially when "Beatle-Mania" is activated, and there's swirls and shit going on.

Two words: DRUM FILLS.

Oooooooooh hitting that one green giant flashy thing was so exciting!!! Thank you for deigning to provide me with that opportunity Harmonix.
posted by edbles at 9:13 AM on February 23, 2010


The only Iron Maiden shirt I wear is THIS ONE.

Seriously. Greatest shirt ever.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 9:19 AM on February 23, 2010 [3 favorites]


I'm waiting for Grateful Dead Rock Band, where you spin in a circle for twenty minutes pressing the same button over and over, then a screen pops up to tell you how much better it would have been if you'd played it twenty years ago and then tries to sell you some acid.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:27 AM on February 23, 2010 [6 favorites]


Grateful Dead Rock Band - Drum Garden Mode:

You play as Mickey Hart, wandering around your on-stage Drum Garden. You are free to choose from any of the 150 drums on stage, to play them in any way you wish. On the bottom of the screen is a Crowd Excitement Meter, reacting to your performance. No matter what you choose, Crowd Excitement plummets until you finally just give the fuck up and play Truckin'.
posted by shmegegge at 9:34 AM on February 23, 2010 [4 favorites]


they tried the stooges rock band but the broken glass was considered too much of a hazard

so was the grateful dead rock band - it was found that 35 minutes of working through playing in the band was almost certain to give people carpal tunnel

i hear the doors rock band is in the works, but they're probably going to have to get rid of the dildo on a spring

they tried a shaggs rock band but it kept falling apart

soon to come - bee gees rock band - you know you want it
posted by pyramid termite at 9:53 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


Grateful Dead Rock Band, yes! I kind of doubt the legalities would all even out but still, very cool idea.

And a slight derail, but anybody going to FURTHER in Chitown?
posted by deacon_blues at 9:55 AM on February 23, 2010




Funny enough, never, ever see a Rolling Stones T-Shirt, and the kids have no Idea who they are.


The Stones sound good after you've smoked about a pack of cigarettes and you've been drinking whiskey, better when you're both slightly horny and indifferent enough that you finally make out with the slightly skeezy line cook who's been hitting on your for a year, and positively transcendent when you're drunk at last call at the kind of bar your mother would be mortified to learn you'd ever been to with exactly the kind of guy your father would hate.

Not impossible for a precocious teenager, but much easier when you're, say, nineteen or twenty.
posted by thivaia at 9:57 AM on February 23, 2010 [5 favorites]


Well, I for one am pumped that someone is concerned about the unmet needs of the 14 year old boy market--god knows, they have suffered from a lack of consumer choices!

/sarcasm

Does anybody care about what girls might like in Rock Band? (for the most part--not tits!) nah. But hey let the girls pretend to be the real musicians...you know, dudes...and give the girls some sparkly unicorns and shit. They love that.
posted by emjaybee at 10:00 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


(yeah, I know, you can be a female character. Just tired of the "tits" crap already.)
posted by emjaybee at 10:01 AM on February 23, 2010


Does anybody care about what girls might like in Rock Band?

If it's any consolation, I believe Harmonix does. of course, I agree with you entirely about the article in question. I just hope it's some consolation.
posted by shmegegge at 10:04 AM on February 23, 2010


I would buy Gaga Rock Band for the customizable costumes alone. Not to mention flaming pianos (avoid injuries while hitting the right notes) and interactive ritualistic suicides. Are you listening Harmonix?

I will also settle for Harp Hero: Joanna Newsom.
posted by naju at 10:23 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


Does anybody care about what girls might like in Rock Band?

If it's any consolation, I believe Harmonix does. of course, I agree with you entirely about the article in question. I just hope it's some consolation.


Anecdotal-y Rock Band is one of the best games I have for upending self imposed gender barriers, and getting female friends to play video games. Super Mario Bros. Wii also seems to work, until we start stomping on each others heads.
posted by edbles at 10:27 AM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


Does anybody care about what girls might like in Rock Band?

If it's any consolation, I believe Harmonix does. of course, I agree with you entirely about the article in question. I just hope it's some consolation.


Oh man and the videos challenges would be so much more terrifyingly awesome.
posted by edbles at 10:28 AM on February 23, 2010


Oddly enough a lot of misfits fans have no idea what the crimson ghost itself is.

The bioshock/beatles game sounds like the best game concept ever.

I have a "The Who" shirt i bought from target, but only because it was the exact one i wanted and was about $20 cheaper than all the online retailers. Still kicking myself for not buying the XL(brand) early who shirt with them all as gorillas.

I thought the stones were selling shirts like hotcakes. I see the stones all the time.
posted by djduckie at 10:43 AM on February 23, 2010


14 year old kids get enough shit to play with, LEAVE MY BEATLES ROCK BAND ALONE!

*grar*

/missed the point & don't care
posted by Space Kitty at 11:12 AM on February 23, 2010


Emjaybee, absolutely not trying to troll here, just offering an earnest anecdote related to your question:

A little over a year ago I was hanging out with brother and our 12-year-old cousin playing wii. She wanted to show us her favorite game, which was something with the Hannah Montana brand all over it that I don't have time to look up right now. The gameplay was something between RB/GH and DDR where you had to gesture with the nunchucks in accordance with onscreen directions to make polygon-Hannah-Montana do certain dance moves.

With my years of RB/GH experience and my brother's (quite more impressive) degree in jazz performance, we fucking dominated every song first try on hardest, which we were pretty happy about (ok, it's not the hardest game, whatever). Our cousin was less impressed, but at the same time was hardly upset that we bogarted the shit outta her wii for like an hour. She didn't really care about the gameplay. She was content to listen to the (fucking godawful) music while we, er, rocked out, but to be honest, it was obvious that her favorite part of the game was the part at the beginning where you got to pick a skeezy outfit for polygon-Hannah before sending her up on stage.

Again, not trying to troll, just relating what I found to be a relevant (and, honestly, confusing and depressing) anecdote. My own opinion lies near Schmegegge's, at least as it pertains to the college-age-plus female demographic, which is the only one I can even pretend to relate to. But in answer to your question, at least in the case of my cousin, she really did love the sparkly unicorn shit.
posted by 7segment at 11:34 AM on February 23, 2010


apparently, a representative from corwood is hard at work on a rockband. the 360 and ps3 versions will feature a confessional interview mode whereas the wii version will have a fan letter mode that awards points for verbosity. novices need not apply; all versions promise to have higher level of difficulty than previous games in the franchise.
posted by the aloha at 11:55 AM on February 23, 2010


Myself, I'm waiting for Grateful Left 4 Dead. Just for the chance to headshot zombie Jerry Garcia.
posted by happyroach at 11:56 AM on February 23, 2010 [2 favorites]


grubi: I tried to play bass on TBRB, but I kept turning m back to the audience so the couldn't see how bad I was.

That works better on the Miles Davis version.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:55 PM on February 23, 2010


I'd really like to see a Phish rock band. Having hour long sections where your entire goal is to just keep hitting buttons in some combination, perhaps melodic, perhaps not, would be great.
posted by mge at 1:00 PM on February 23, 2010 [3 favorites]


"...and (as far as I know) the disc hasn’t been out of its case since the middle of January. It’s kinda disappointing, if you want to know the truth.

I stopped reading after this. It's been one month since that game hasn't been played. This is beyond standard fare. Maybe your kids are - heaven forbid - doing something slightly more productive or entertaining until they come back to it.

That and welcome to Christmas presents, dude. Sorry your kids just aren't that into you.
posted by june made him a gemini at 1:12 PM on February 23, 2010


Make a Duck Hunt game, but replace the word Duck with Yoko.

The article is about making the game appealing to 14 year olds. You're talking about making the game appealing to Beatles fans.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:33 PM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


I am waiting for the release of Hawkwind Rock Band.

Singing songs about Elric of Melnibone and Stormbringer always brings the family together.
posted by longbaugh at 9:34 AM on February 23 [6 favorites +] [!]


There actually is one Hawkwind song already in the game.
posted by Who_Am_I at 2:20 PM on February 23, 2010


Same as the regular Beatles Rock Band, but with tits.

Haven't they unlocked the Yoko Ono circa 1968 character?
posted by jabberjaw at 2:38 PM on February 23, 2010


You are in a strange maze, surrounded by darkness and weird, monotonous electronic sounds. To survive and perhaps escape, you have to eat white pills. The ghosts of John, Paul, George and Ringo roam the place. They will kill you. You must avoid them. If you find a cherry, eat it and kill the ghosts, one by one.
posted by iviken at 3:20 PM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


But in answer to your question, at least in the case of my cousin, she really did love the sparkly unicorn shit.

And there's nothing wrong with that. The problems come when companies believe that girls ONLY love/want the sparkly unicorn shit. Unfortunately, many developers do think that way and ignore a large chunk of the market. The same for movie studios, since they treat 51% of the population as a niche market.

Alice over at Wonderland Blog wrote this about the Ubisoft Imagine games, questioning their claim about using focus groups to find out what girls wanted to play:

Research is a funny thing. If you say to someone, what's your favourite food, they'll list three things they love. If you then say, you didn't list chocolate cake, don't you like chocolate cake? They'll say, oh SURE! I love chocolate cake! I just didn't realise you were asking about chocolate cake.

If young girls only like shopping, fashion, cooking and babies, then they wouldn't like Ratchet and Clank. Or Mario Kart. Or Dance Dance Revolution. Or Wii Sports. Or Pokemon.

posted by cmgonzalez at 5:36 PM on February 23, 2010


And there's nothing wrong with that. The problems come when companies believe that girls ONLY love/want the sparkly unicorn shit.

What does that even mean? If a girl picks up a controller for a system running Halo, will it kick her off for wrong gender? There are lots of different markets and segments in software. Sparkly unicorn shit is one of them. Its not necessarily a massive multinational conspiracy by CEOs to keep girls stereotypical. Seems to me there's quite a bit of choice in video games, but also a lot of people with axes to grind about pet social issues.
posted by damn dirty ape at 7:44 PM on February 23, 2010


I LOVE sparkly unicorn shit - that's why I play Final Fantasy.
posted by betweenthebars at 9:05 PM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


Fey Sparkly Unicorns who hate their fathers and try to end the world by summoning an unholy evil into the Worl Tree for POWER?
posted by The Whelk at 9:09 PM on February 23, 2010


Fey Sparkly Unicorns who hate their fathers and try to end the world by summoning an unholy evil into the Worl Tree for POWER?

That's essentially my latest YA novel. I call it _Ghost Unicorn Summer_
posted by Sparx at 10:06 PM on February 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


OMG OMG OMG! They have Masters Of The Universe? That's my favourite Hawkwind track ever. Sonic Attack, written by Michael Moorcock is the second but I am not really sure how you'd implement the lyrics.

I'm going to have to consider buying Rock Band now. Does it have all the crazy sequencer stuff in the background?
posted by longbaugh at 4:32 AM on February 24, 2010


all you need is love...
posted by infini at 5:00 AM on February 24, 2010


Isn't the ideal way to make Beatles Rock Band more appealing the simplest one? Less Beatles.

(Yes, I get the point was to poke fun at the tired old game cliches that the kids are into these days -- and a decent job of it was done -- but hey, grandpa, the reason nobody wants to play your grandpa music game is because it's full of grandpa music.)

Excuse me while I go stick another Exodus album on my 8 year old's music player.


Majick, it's actually frightening how you are channeling my fifteen-year-old here. Does that mean that he is a mature music snob or that you are an immature music snob?
posted by misha at 8:17 AM on February 24, 2010


does size matter?
posted by infini at 8:47 AM on February 24, 2010


misha, dear, I notice I'm getting increasingly bad at doing the cantankerous humor thing -- I think it's started to be out of key for what modern Metafilter is, anyway, so maybe that's for the best -- but yes, I'm splashing in the shallow end of the music critic's pool.
posted by majick at 2:28 PM on February 24, 2010


No, Majick, I think I came across snarkier than I intended. I can't possibly be as old as this thread makes me feel, can I? *sigh*.

Maybe I am being a little too, "Hey, you kids get off my lawn."

I like the Beatles and metal, too.
posted by misha at 3:33 PM on February 24, 2010


What does that even mean?

What it says.

Did you even actually take the time to read my comment, or were you so quick to jump and accuse me of having an axe to grind that you didn't realize that your comment just reiterates much of what I stated?
posted by cmgonzalez at 5:57 PM on February 24, 2010


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