I'll put a Jihad on you

February 26, 2010 10:35 AM

President Gaddafi Calls for Jihad Against Switzerland SLYT "Let us wage jihad against Switzerland, Zionism and foreign aggression. Any Muslim in any part of the world who works with Switzerland is an apostate, is against Muhammad, God and the Koran." Previously
posted by fiestapais (88 comments total)

Ugh, so sick of rich dudes raging rich dude wars at the expense of pretty much everyone else.
posted by muddgirl at 10:39 AM on February 26, 2010 [18 favorites]

In related news, Qaddafi hasn't made any headlines in about a decade, and it's making him sad. He's still a big threat to the West; it's the typefaces that got small.
posted by Toby Dammit X at 10:39 AM on February 26, 2010 [5 favorites]

waging rich dude wars.
posted by muddgirl at 10:39 AM on February 26, 2010

Gaddafi's prolonged identity crisis is growing tiring. This is not the way to go about opening up to the West.

On that note, however, Switzerland made a pretty stupid move in banning minarets. A direct ban on a structure of clear religious importance to one particular religion and one particular religion only. Did you think that would go over well?
posted by deacon_blues at 10:39 AM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

Oh yeah, deacon_blues. At first I was all, "Switzerland sort of started it", but it's not like Gaddafi doesn't have his own personal vendetta against the country.
posted by muddgirl at 10:40 AM on February 26, 2010

Do people still listen to Gaddafi?
posted by Think_Long at 10:42 AM on February 26, 2010

I don't think Jihad means what you have been programed by the lazy Western media and politicians or Islamist radicals to think it means.
posted by Pollomacho at 10:45 AM on February 26, 2010 [6 favorites]

So much for the big Libyan glasnost experiment.

I don't like the Gaddafi spelling. It makes me think of a Scrappy Doo sidekick for Gandalf.
posted by Babblesort at 10:46 AM on February 26, 2010

The weird thing about Gaddafi is he never really appeared to give that much of a crap about Islam until quite recently; he even used to speak out against stuff like forcing women to wear burkas. As others have pointed out, he's just doing this to get his name back out there.
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:48 AM on February 26, 2010

I can't decide whether this or the minaret thing is stupider.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 10:49 AM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

Someone needs to make a "Where Brooklyn At?" version of the video in this article.
posted by DecemberBoy at 10:49 AM on February 26, 2010

Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
posted by gallois at 10:50 AM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

As with the Epic Beard Man incident, one of these unpleasant, belligerent sides is probably more in the wrong than the other, but I can't face trying to decide which one.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 10:52 AM on February 26, 2010 [2 favorites]

> Do people still listen to Gaddafi?

His old stuff's okay.
posted by Stonewall Jackson at 10:52 AM on February 26, 2010 [48 favorites]

Remember back in 2004 when the Bush administration was pushing the narrative that invading Iraq had scared Gaddafi into backing down?
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:54 AM on February 26, 2010 [2 favorites]

Thanks for reminding me that the world's still a nutty place, Colonel Crazysauce.
posted by brand-gnu at 11:03 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

How did this start?

Gaddafi's spoiled youngest son (who had previous form) was arrested in Switzerland for assaulting (Arab, Muslim) hotel staff.

Then Gaddafi retaliated against Switzerland.

Then the Swiss president apologised (greatly contributing to the success of that minaret referendum).

Then Gaddafi called for the partition of Switzerland at the UN.

Then the Swiss got fed up and put Gaddafi's whole entourage on a Europe-wide no-fly list. Gaddafi retaliated by cancelling all visas for Schengen-zone Europeans.

Now this. I found the minaret referendum a disaster, but on this quarrel I side definitely with the Swiss. Unfortunately, the reaction of other European countries has been characteristically feckless, but then there are obvious reasons for that: oil and immigrants.
posted by Skeptic at 11:04 AM on February 26, 2010 [13 favorites]

Well, time to break out my "Daffy Gaddafi" t-shirt. I knew I kept it for a reason.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:06 AM on February 26, 2010

Did you think that would go over well?

I suspect this is exactly how some of them hoped it would go over: xenophobes take action which they know will provoke outrage (the minaret ban), and use said outrage to rationalize more xenophobia.
posted by audi alteram partem at 11:08 AM on February 26, 2010

"Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock." - Harry Lime

I think Gadafi is just trying to start a Swiss renaissance.
posted by ExitPursuedByBear at 11:08 AM on February 26, 2010 [8 favorites]

So what he's saying is that he's sick of the Swiss?
posted by rokusan at 11:14 AM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

The weird thing about Gaddafi is he never really appeared to give that much of a crap about Islam until quite recently; he even used to speak out against stuff like forcing women to wear burkas.

Whoa there, Gaddafi's disingenuousness aside, people can "give a crap" about Islam without forcing women into burqas.
posted by oinopaponton at 11:16 AM on February 26, 2010

It would be cool if Switzerland and Libya really went to war over this. Actually, it would be cool if Switzerland went to war over anything. I'd love to see the Swiss Army using those knives for something besides opening cans.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:23 AM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

Switzerland? Must've gotten some bad cheese.
posted by jonmc at 11:27 AM on February 26, 2010

They don't even grow cocoa in Switzerland! How can it be Swiss chocolate?
posted by GuyZero at 11:27 AM on February 26, 2010

Before I clicked on the link I thought the Gaddafi's jihad was because Switzerland was going to be more cooperative with identifying tax evaders.
posted by birdherder at 11:35 AM on February 26, 2010

"Oh, Moammar!"

*cue sit-com laugh track*
posted by darkstar at 11:37 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

Careful, they've got the neutral beam.
posted by Artw at 11:38 AM on February 26, 2010

You can put a "jihad" on someone else? I must have been absent the day they taught that spell in sunday school. Bummer :-(
posted by raztaj at 11:39 AM on February 26, 2010

Whatever his stated reason, it's hard to get over the impression that he's mainly pissed because his equally batshit son is not allowed to beat up servants there.

That and the not being in the news for a bit thing.

Also his face is melting.
posted by Artw at 11:40 AM on February 26, 2010

Neutropolis is on high alert, no doubt.
posted by Mister_A at 11:48 AM on February 26, 2010

Is it just me or does Qaadafi Junior look like the type of douchebag you usually see walking out of a nightclub into a limo full of underage midget hookers?
posted by jonmc at 11:54 AM on February 26, 2010

Qadaffi's out of luck because Switzerland already called no do-overs, no double taps, and no Jihads.
posted by Babblesort at 11:57 AM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

He does get points for naming his kid Hannibal, so there's that.

Even if the kid is a crazy bastard, and the real Hannibal was actually born in Spain
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:59 AM on February 26, 2010

No shit? Hannibal? Hannibal Qadaffi sounds like a local opening act for Marilyn Manson.
posted by Babblesort at 12:01 PM on February 26, 2010 [8 favorites]

muddgirl: "waging rich dude wars."

Did you accidentally the whole Metafilter:
posted by symbioid at 12:02 PM on February 26, 2010

MetaFilter: Did You Accidentally The Whole MetaFilter:
posted by Mister_A at 12:05 PM on February 26, 2010 [11 favorites]

Rob Schneider: "Let's take Africa for $100."
Seinfeld: "Okay! Here's the question: 'What's the deal with Gaddafi?'"
Rob Schneider: "I know! He's Khadafi, he's Qadhafi, he's Gaddafi, he's Moammar, he's Muammar. I say pick a name and go with it!"
Jerry Seinfeld: "That is right! We would have also accepted: 'Only a Colonel? Only a Colonel?'"
posted by crapmatic at 12:07 PM on February 26, 2010 [5 favorites]

Meh, Qaddafi is a Muslim when it suits him, in the way that most politicians invoke their deeply held religious beliefs when they've really fucked up or want to justify their prejudices.
posted by electroboy at 12:10 PM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm curious why Europe needs Libya's assistance on illegal immigrants. You know, the U.S. happily processes refugee and asylum cases but nevertheless successfully deports people without cooperation from their home country.
posted by jeffburdges at 12:12 PM on February 26, 2010

The last time Mr. Qaddafi was in the news, he was "trying to pitch his tent all over the New York area," including at Donald Trump's estate.

Remember back in 2004 when the Bush administration was pushing the narrative that invading Iraq had scared Gaddafi into backing down?

Is "pushing the narrative" a euphemism for big fat lie?
posted by kirkaracha at 12:16 PM on February 26, 2010

For those not logged in, the ad associated with this post is for Kellog's Frosted Flakes. Which seems appropriate.
posted by Bora Horza Gobuchul at 12:21 PM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

'm curious why Europe needs Libya's assistance on illegal immigrants.

The 27-member bloc wants Turkey and Libya to crack down on the organised people-smuggling rings and to agree to take back the illegal immigrants who departed from their coasts, Barrot said.

It also wants Libya, which has not signed the Geneva Convention on human rights, to agree to protect persecuted people and make it easier for people to seek asylum there.
posted by three blind mice at 12:23 PM on February 26, 2010

> Unfortunately, the reaction of other European countries has been characteristically feckless ...

It's not like Switzerland is one of the popular kids in Europe. When you pursue active neutrality, don't act surprised when you suddenly have no friends.

That, and the fascistembarrassing no-minaret thing.
posted by brokkr at 12:41 PM on February 26, 2010

Also weird, Beyonce performs for Gaddafi Jr.

Beyonce Knowles and her husband Jay-Z are not short of money, but it seems the offer of $2m for one hour's work was just too good to pass up - even if it meant performing at a private New Year's Eve party for the controversial Hannibal Gaddafi, 33-year-old son of the Libyan leader Col Muammar Gaddafi.

posted by electroboy at 12:46 PM on February 26, 2010

Babblesort: “I don't like the Gaddafi spelling. It makes me think of a Scrappy Doo sidekick for Gandalf.”

Those two sentences don't go together.
posted by koeselitz at 1:06 PM on February 26, 2010

electroboy's link: “... the controversial Hannibal Gaddafi, 33-year-old son of the Libyan leader Col Muammar Gaddafi.”

Hannibal? Jesus fuck, who names their kid Hannibal?

Oh. Right.
posted by koeselitz at 1:08 PM on February 26, 2010

It's pretty silly. By now, there's a whole gaggle of jihads against various small European countries over perceived or real insults to Islam. Denmark got lambasted for the (actually stupid, boring and lame) cartoons, etc. - but really, just how much does Switzerland or Denmark need North Africa - or Pakistan for that matter? Those are not huge markets for their products. I suspect that even if every single Muslim country had a total ban on Swiss, Danish etc. products, it wouldn't hurt Switzerland/Denmark too bad. Oil can be gotten from non-Muslim sources, and the Swiss and Danes are pretty decent about not being 100% dependent on oil, or on one source of oil anyway. Other than oil what exactly do these countries sell anyway? Perhaps in the case of Switzerland there's also some effect on bank deposits, but I suspect they'll live without Libyan blood money. Perhaps Gaddafi needs a lesson in just how dispensable he and his entire country is in the big scheme of things. Sometimes a good confrontation is salutary in the long run. Maybe Ghaddafi will one day understand that creating ever more unnecessary enemies does him no good (the same goes for the rest of the overly quick to take offense). Meanwhile maybe the Swiss should figure out that they too have Muslim citizens who deserve the same rights as the rest of their citizens. I say this confrontation is all to the good - perhaps finally everyone will come to their senses before they come to blows.
posted by VikingSword at 1:08 PM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

When I read the post, I thought it was informing us that Qaddafi was declaring holy war against Swiss single-link youtube posts. It sort of made sense to me, except the part about limiting the jihad to Swiss SLYT posts, as opposed to SLYT posts originating in other countries as well, and (not having viewed the linked site) what I presume were calls to violent behavior. Having read more carefully, though, I see that Qaddafi is declaring jihad against Switzerland, not SLYT posts. I unequivocally disagree with that position.
posted by Slap Factory at 1:17 PM on February 26, 2010

"He's still a big threat to the West..."

Oh, come on. He was never at any instant a "big threat" to the West. America's own President Bush in eight years caused the needless deaths of ten times as many Americans as Gaddafi did in forty years of being a mad corrupt tinpot little dictator.

The military-industrial complex loves him because he's a visible face of madness and threat but the fact is that he's a small-time criminals compared to someone like Henry Kissinger.

(Not meaning any apology for his various terrorist acts over the years - but please, get a sense of perspective...)
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 1:31 PM on February 26, 2010 [4 favorites]

"Perhaps Gaddafi needs a lesson in just how dispensable he and his entire country is in the big scheme of things."

Italics mine. Er, might I ask what you mean by an entire country being dispensable...?
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 1:32 PM on February 26, 2010

Gaddafi's disingenuousness aside, people can "give a crap" about Islam without forcing women into burqas.

I probably could have put that better. To expand on what I was saying, and to put it less flippantly, Gaddafi was largely a secular dictator rather than the "militant Islamic" dictator stereotype more often associated with countries in the area (like Iran), and actually gave several speeches to the effect that conservative/reactionary Islam was an impediment to progress (he specifically addressed women and the burka in at least one of those speeches).

It seems like his recent co-opting of the sort of language used by militant Muslims is just meant to get his name in the news, or possibly to improve his image in the larger Middle Eastern Muslim community (if I recall, Saddam Hussein behaved similarly shortly before the invasion of Iraq).
posted by infinitywaltz at 1:34 PM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

My theory is that Qaddafi is making himself into the platonic ideal of the Bond villian. All he needs is a base in a hollowed out volcano and a weather machine.
posted by electroboy at 1:38 PM on February 26, 2010 [5 favorites]

It also wants Libya, which has not signed the Geneva Convention on human rights, to agree to protect persecuted people and make it easier for people to seek asylum there.

Oh yeah, The Geneva Convention. Remember them?
posted by ovvl at 1:39 PM on February 26, 2010

"Perhaps Gaddafi needs a lesson in just how dispensable he and his entire country is in the big scheme of things."

Italics mine. Er, might I ask what you mean by an entire country being dispensable...?

Awkward wording - I can see it might be easily misunderstood. I meant that as far as economic impact - Libya has very little impact on the Swiss or Danish economies. They sell oil, but that's fungible - you can get it from anywhere. Libya is not indispensable to anyone's economy. A boycott by Libya means little to Switzerland. Libya has oil, and a small internal market (pop. 6-7 million, not particularly wealthy, or educated - 152nd country in the world as far as expenditures on education) - and that's about it. In other words, entirely dispensable from an economic point of view.
posted by VikingSword at 1:44 PM on February 26, 2010

Gaddafi was largely a secular dictator rather than the "militant Islamic" dictator stereotype

What countries? Iran is a theocracy (formerly) run behind a thin facade by a council of Mullahs. All the other regional Dictatorships in recent memory have been of the secular nature. Qadaffi is a kook that clings to whatever rant suits his needs at the time. For some time now he's been clinging to some kind of weird quasi-messianic religious authority and taken to wearing the robes of an Imam, but I don't think even he is buying it.
posted by Pollomacho at 1:46 PM on February 26, 2010

I think libyans get a pass on hannibal as a given name, what with Carthage being in libya and all.
posted by empath at 1:49 PM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

What countries? Iran is a theocracy (formerly) run behind a thin facade by a council of Mullahs. All the other regional Dictatorships in recent memory have been of the secular nature.

Right, but I think a lot of Americans have this impression that every leader in the Middle East is a theocrat in the Iranian mold, and the fact that so many of the dictators in the area co-opt the language of militant Islam doesn't make things any less confusing. I think it's really interesting, and all I was really pointing out is that Gaddafi is a great example of that.
posted by infinitywaltz at 1:54 PM on February 26, 2010

(carthage the empire, not carthage the city, obv)
posted by empath at 2:00 PM on February 26, 2010

I think libyans get a pass on hannibal as a given name, what with Carthage being in libya and all.
posted by empath


That should come as a surprise to the Tunisians, for sure.
posted by Skeptic at 2:02 PM on February 26, 2010

The Bugle is going to have a good time with this. Gaddafi is one of their favorites.
posted by craven_morhead at 2:03 PM on February 26, 2010 [2 favorites]

Skeptic: "Then the Swiss got fed up and put Gaddafi's whole entourage on a Europe-wide no-fly list. Gaddafi retaliated by cancelling all visas for Schengen-zone Europeans."

Well, it's good to know the no-fly list is an objective tool for preventing terrorism, and isn't coopted for political use or some sort of diplomatic pissing match.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:06 PM on February 26, 2010

taken to wearing the robes of an Imam

Really, an imam? I would've gone with wealthy middled-aged lady with bad taste, or possibly Sun-Ra.
posted by electroboy at 2:38 PM on February 26, 2010 [2 favorites]

Hannibal? Jesus fuck, who names their kid Hannibal?

People in North Africa who know Hannibal as a famous North African warrior and not as a cinematic serial killer.
posted by mpbx at 2:43 PM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

koeselitz: "Hannibal? Jesus fuck, who names their kid Hannibal?"

Apart from the things people have already mentioned, a crapload of people in the Spanish speaking world. Well, in Spanish it's "Aníbal", but it's definitely the same name. It's not as common as "José", but it's definitely not particularly uncommon, I know 2 or 3 myself.

So, the answer to this is probably "Lots of people, if you care to look outside of the English speaking world.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 3:24 PM on February 26, 2010

Even if it weren't common, it's not like Qaddafi is a model of restraint and humility.
posted by electroboy at 3:42 PM on February 26, 2010

I guess Switzerland is now on Beige-Alert.

Be honest now:

1. Was your first reaction one of amusement and relief that a Jihad was called on a country other than US?

2. Was your second reaction creeping jealousy that Switzerland took this year's gold medal for pissing of Libya instead of the US? I mean seriously, after all we've done!? Not even a mention?
posted by Davenhill at 4:07 PM on February 26, 2010

There's actually been all kinds of weird costing up between Libya and the US/UK lately.
posted by Artw at 4:27 PM on February 26, 2010

Great, now we get to see the news organisations struggle once again to agree on how to spell his name:

Gaddafi, Quaddafi, Kaddafi ...

I say we just lop off the first syllable and call him "Daffy".
posted by bwg at 4:31 PM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

Italian Interior Minister Roberto Maroni said he protested with EU colleagues and Swiss Justice Minister Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf also took part at a meeting in Brussels.

'I told her and I told my ministerial colleagues that I don't think it right to use an instrument of international cooperation such as the Schengen agreement to force bilateral issues,' he said.

'If this principle is accepted, it will be the end of Schengen, because each country will then use Schengen to solve an issue it has with a third country making life difficult all other member states,' he added.

I have to agree here, it's one thing to ban people from your country, but banning people from most of Europe over some bullshit spat is pretty lame, and kind of an abuse of power. Only one guy was actually involved in the fight, but 180 people got banned?
posted by delmoi at 4:54 PM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

It's time to hate the Swiss...again.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:59 PM on February 26, 2010

"The fruit shop shortchanged me! A fucking jihad on them!"
posted by Biblio at 7:20 PM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

Hannibal? Jesus fuck, who names their kid Hannibal?

Hamilcar Barca, for one. Hannibal's brothers were Hasdrubal and Mago (whose name may be the origin of mayonnaise). In those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. Anyway, presumably also Mr. and Mrs. Lecter.

I say we just lop off the first syllable and call him 'Daffy'.

Colonel Gaddafi-Duck
posted by kirkaracha at 8:31 PM on February 26, 2010

mpbx: “People in North Africa who know Hannibal as a famous North African warrior and not as a cinematic serial killer.”

Well, I know that. But it's still like naming your kid Julius Caesar.
posted by koeselitz at 9:35 PM on February 26, 2010

You're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like Heaven to touch
I want to hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
and I thank God I'm alive
You're just to good to be true
can't put a jihad on you.
posted by bwg at 12:49 AM on February 27, 2010

aww, he's lonely again.

i'd feel bad for him if he weren't constantly instigating suffering and hate.
posted by batmonkey at 1:43 AM on February 27, 2010

Did someone forget to change his diaper.
posted by MrLint at 7:17 AM on February 27, 2010

But it's still like naming your kid Julius Caesar.

What kids named after Julius Caeser may look like.
posted by Rat Spatula at 8:36 AM on February 27, 2010

The ban on automatics schengen visas was a reaction to Libya holding two swiss citizens hostage for about 19 months.
posted by sebas at 8:40 AM on February 27, 2010

aww, he's lonely again.


So ronery...
posted by darkstar at 9:11 AM on February 27, 2010

It would be cool if Switzerland and Libya really went to war over this.

Alright, who gave Dubya a MeFi account?

But it's still like naming your kid Julius Caesar.

Or Alexander, or William, or Charles...
posted by Xezlec at 10:07 AM on February 27, 2010

Colonel Gaddafi: "mad dog"?
posted by adamvasco at 12:27 PM on February 27, 2010

so many of the dictators in the area co-opt the language of militant Islam

I don't think it's so much a co-opting, militant islam (aka Islamism) has as much to do with actual islam as these dictators do, they are cut from the same cloth. Both their struggles are political ones rather than religious or philosphical.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:49 PM on February 27, 2010

koeselitz: "mpbx: “People in North Africa who know Hannibal as a famous North African warrior and not as a cinematic serial killer.”

Well, I know that. But it's still like naming your kid Julius Caesar."

Like Julio César Chávez and a bunch of Latino soccer players, for some reason?
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 1:11 AM on March 6, 2010

As naming your kids after famous people go, doesn't Jesus take the cake?
posted by WalterMitty at 6:35 AM on March 6, 2010

Oh, and then there's Batman bin Suparman (bin means "son of" in Malay).
posted by WalterMitty at 6:37 AM on March 6, 2010

As far as spelling and transliteration go, shouldn't it be something more like Qathaafii? Granted, I'm learning in Lebanon, where pronunciations are sometimes different than other Arabic-speaking countries. But I keep wondering why the "th as in that" sound keeps getting transliterated into the double D.

I figure I'm just missing something.
posted by lauranesson at 12:45 AM on March 8, 2010

As naming your kids after famous people go, doesn't Jesus take the cake?

You'd think so, but speaking of cake...
posted by Pollomacho at 4:25 AM on March 8, 2010