Put a shirt on that!
March 4, 2010 12:10 PM   Subscribe

Put some clothes on that snow-woman, say police. Folks passing through Rahway, NJ last weekend were treated to a sculpture of a snow-nude, and, shortly thereafter, a lovely bikini-and-sarong affair. [previously]
posted by Karmakaze (70 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Boooo on the ruiners of fun in Rahway and all other places.
posted by Mister_A at 12:12 PM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


John Ashcroft would approve. That makes clear how one should feel about it to me.
posted by Babblesort at 12:13 PM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Little did they know they were living next door to John Ashcroft.
posted by nola at 12:14 PM on March 4, 2010


*sigh*
posted by nola at 12:14 PM on March 4, 2010 [11 favorites]


Ironically, the "clothed" version ends up looking more salacious that the arty nude did.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:14 PM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Stay classy, New Jersey.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:15 PM on March 4, 2010


Good grief. Why did the family agreed to clothe the snow-woman? What would he have cited them for had they refused?
posted by Pontius Pilate at 12:15 PM on March 4, 2010


Wo-oh Minnie-Lou
There was nothing we could do
Cops won't let you drive about
With one of your headlights out.
-J. Flynn
posted by The White Hat at 12:17 PM on March 4, 2010


When I drove by it, it was already clothed, and I thought someone was making a "sunbathing snowman" joke. I can only hope for another snowstorm so I can see what they'll come up with next.
posted by Karmakaze at 12:17 PM on March 4, 2010


I would have put a bikini and a huge cock on the snow lady. That would show 'em!
posted by Mister_A at 12:18 PM on March 4, 2010 [9 favorites]


Or, my favorite verse:

He said “Our eyes should not absorb this statue’s pert alfresco orb
A little modesty is best. Please someone cover up the breast!"
And so they got somebody sharp, eight thousand dollars and a tarp
That someone found in the garage to obfuscate the décolletage
posted by The White Hat at 12:18 PM on March 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


That's hot.
posted by william_boot at 12:18 PM on March 4, 2010


Christian Hypermorality to the rescue again. Won't someone please think of the children?
posted by Aquaman at 12:19 PM on March 4, 2010


You gotta admit, it's a pretty nifty snowperson.
posted by grubi at 12:19 PM on March 4, 2010


It's a great snowperson, and she's ruined by having restrictive clothing foisted upon her.
posted by Mister_A at 12:20 PM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


♫ Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul,
With a corncob CENSORED and a button CENSORED
And two CENSORED made out of CENSORED
posted by brundlefly at 12:20 PM on March 4, 2010 [21 favorites]


I had no idea NJians could be so quaint about snow art. If I had known it would cause so much controversy to make something more out there than a typical Frosty, I would have spent some time making that Lady Gaga-eviscerating-Taylor Swift snow sculpture I'd been imagining. Granted, buying all those sausages and ketchup would be expensive, and I'd need to find weird looking sunglasses on a day when the roads were covered in snow, but art's tough like that.
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:21 PM on March 4, 2010


This is why I didn't vote for Obama.
posted by fleacircus at 12:22 PM on March 4, 2010


I'd hit it. With a snowball.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 12:25 PM on March 4, 2010 [6 favorites]


NSFW tag please?? Some of us are trying not to get fired.
posted by naju at 12:31 PM on March 4, 2010 [3 favorites]


One of the local radio stations ought to run with this and sponsor a block party with a nude snow sculpture contest. Let the PD and "anonymous complaintant" complain over that.
posted by crapmatic at 12:32 PM on March 4, 2010


What's wrong with that snowman?
posted by 1f2frfbf at 12:33 PM on March 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


NSFW tag please?? Some of us are trying not to get fired.

By the time your boss gets around to seeing it, the link will have melted.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:33 PM on March 4, 2010 [9 favorites]


Thank goodness. I know that I would have been so overcome by lust that I probably would have had to fornicate with that snowlady, thus violating God's law!
posted by Saxon Kane at 12:35 PM on March 4, 2010


If you liked it you shoulda put a ring shouldn'ta put a shirt on it.
posted by lukemeister at 12:37 PM on March 4, 2010


Seriously? Those shocked folks would have passed out had they come to Philly and seen the snow art crafted by our college-student neighbors: on one side of the street, a Frosty-the-snowman type snowman, except with breasts, lipstick, a belly button, and pubic hair; on the other, a seven foot tall, quite anatomically detailed penis, complete with a set of giant testicles. Let's just say there were lots of interesting questions from the kids during the week it took those sculptures to melt. (One of them being: which will melt fastest?) (Answer: the penis)
posted by mothershock at 12:38 PM on March 4, 2010


N*ice* curves.
posted by drogien at 12:40 PM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'd replace the nude snow woman with a giant middle finger.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:40 PM on March 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


Hey Matt, why not clean out the garage and advertise a bit at the same time if snowpeople gotta be dressed?
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:41 PM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's obvious the penis will melt faster. Three seasons is a long refractory period though innit.
posted by Babblesort at 12:41 PM on March 4, 2010


What, did kids open a stand to put snowcone flavoring (aka kool-aid) on specific bits or something?

FFS.
posted by yeloson at 12:48 PM on March 4, 2010


I would've put a burqa on it to make a statement.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 12:48 PM on March 4, 2010 [13 favorites]


Yeah, she looks sexy alright, but I heard she's frigid.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 12:49 PM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


When I lived in Rahway, we were to busy hitting cars with snowballs to be bothered with such nonsense.
posted by digsrus at 1:13 PM on March 4, 2010


That's really pathetic that somebody complained about that. Possibly the most pathetic thing I can think of right at this exact moment in time.
posted by turgid dahlia at 1:15 PM on March 4, 2010


NSFW tag please?? Some of us are trying not to get fired.

I'm pretty sure that if it's considered sufficiently tame to be published on a newspaper website, then a NSFW tag isn't necessary. Also, the link is pretty clear that it's to a photo of a nude snowperson.
posted by desuetude at 1:22 PM on March 4, 2010


desuetude, your HAMBURGERometer needs calibrating.
posted by brundlefly at 1:24 PM on March 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's all fine and good to talk about art and whatnot, but what would you say when you wake up one morning to find out that some lonely fellow decided to re-enact the tongue-on-the-flagpole scene from A Christmas Story, but not on a flagpole and definitely not with his tongue, oh no, and now has frostbite in the worst possible place? What then, America?
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:26 PM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is why we can't have ice things.
posted by the bricabrac man at 1:40 PM on March 4, 2010 [31 favorites]


How could they tell she's not wearing a white bodysuit to begin with?
posted by drlith at 1:41 PM on March 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


I don't know whether to be happy that the NJ police are viewed with such community-minded respect that citizens comply with their 'requests' even when they seem baselessly intrusive, or to be sad that people are so scared of the police that they'll grovel before them for fear of being arrested on trumped-up "contempt-of-cop" charges.

But I'm definitely troubled by the fact that the reporter hints at no curiosity about what actual law was allegedly violated. A neighbor complained, the cop exerted his authority (albeit "apologetically"), and as far as the Star-Ledger was concerned, that was that.
posted by Wufpak at 1:41 PM on March 4, 2010 [3 favorites]


"I thought she looked more objectified and sexualized after you put the bikini on," Gonzalez said.

This times a bazillion.
posted by zardoz at 1:43 PM on March 4, 2010


We should go build a snow interpretation of "The Aristocrats" on their lawn tonight!

and then go streaking!
posted by orme at 1:46 PM on March 4, 2010


Hobbes: "Your oeuvre is monochromatic."
Calvin: "Oh c'mon. It's just snow."
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 1:47 PM on March 4, 2010


I would have loved it if the artist reaction had been "So, you're getting prurient thoughts from looking at a bunch of snow? That says a lot more about what's wrong with you that what's wrong with my sculpture."
posted by quin at 1:49 PM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Wow, the first time I find my hometown on Metafilter and it's for this. I don't know how to feel.
posted by Brainy at 1:50 PM on March 4, 2010


I wonder how much covering up these two snow...um...people require? (Possibly NSFW, maybe)
posted by bz at 1:50 PM on March 4, 2010


Wow, the first time I find my hometown on Metafilter and it's for this. I don't know how to feel.
Is it worse than "Rahway? Where the prison is?"

(For the record, no. It's in Avenel, and it's been renamed to "East Jersey State Prison" anyway.)
posted by Karmakaze at 2:07 PM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


John Ashcroft would approve. That makes clear how one should feel about it to me.

As indeed he is mentioned in the FPP's article.
posted by ericb at 2:07 PM on March 4, 2010


desuetude, your HAMBURGERometer needs calibrating.

Oh. Ooops. Um, sorry 'bout that. Carry on.

Hamburgers for everyone!
posted by desuetude at 2:18 PM on March 4, 2010


Thank $Power he was not patrolling around the Vatican. Filthy libertines.
posted by ersatz at 2:41 PM on March 4, 2010


Mrs. Grundy is everywhere.
posted by zzazazz at 2:47 PM on March 4, 2010


Nice to know that crime is so low in Rahway that police can waste their time on stuff like this.
posted by Daddy-O at 2:48 PM on March 4, 2010


It's obvious the penis will melt faster.

That's just shrinkage.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:11 PM on March 4, 2010


Reminds me of the bronze replica of the statue of David some entrepreneur donated to the Sioux Falls Park System when I was a kid. Several of the locals were convinced that such a naughty thing could not be displayed in public without engendering nude people running through the streets. This is not an exaggeration; there were letters in the Sioux Falls Argus Liar to that effect. They ended up putting it in the local park downtown, but so as not to offend any drivers-by, they turned the statue toward the river. If you were driving past on the road, it looked as though he was urinating into the river. (Previously)
posted by Mental Wimp at 3:30 PM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


If I were the police, I would have responded to the phone caller that it's art, and reminiscent of the Venus de Milo, and not have just caved in like that.

Sheesh.
posted by misha at 3:39 PM on March 4, 2010


It's obvious the penis will melt faster.

Not if it the little blue pill is mixed in with the snow first.
posted by bwg at 4:28 PM on March 4, 2010


quin> I would have loved it if the artist reaction had been "So, you're getting prurient thoughts from looking at a bunch of snow? That says a lot more about what's wrong with you that what's wrong with my sculpture."

Let me take this opportunity to highlight that "what's wrong with them" isn't that they're getting sexual thoughts by looking at a depiction of a human body, but rather that they consider those thoughts shameful and wrong to the point of feeling compelled to censor said depiction. This is not entirely their fault, either; a very large part of the responsibility must rest with whatever strain of sex-negativity they were undoubtedly infected with at an early age, when they were as trusting and curious and impressionable as any child.

While laughing at the prudes can be fun and it is true that there's something wrong with them, it's always good to remember what the real disease is here. And that it's the same disease whether the infection vector happens to be "Christian Hypermorality" or the undergraduate humorlessness du jour; it's the same regardless of which philosophy or political creed (or lack thereof) it's wrapped in. More than anything else, and whether or not their motivations are those Aquaman supposes in this case, I feel sorry for people like the anonymous tipster(s) in this story.

[I do feel even sorrier for the giant mass of collective enjoyment and prosperity that is denied us by the prevalence of such attitudes, but hating the game doesn't necessarily imply hating the player and that's a much bigger discussion anyway.]
posted by mindwarp at 4:53 PM on March 4, 2010 [3 favorites]


Rahway's near the Stae Pen, IIRC. Maybe they didn't want the cons all excited.
posted by jonmc at 5:12 PM on March 4, 2010


Maybe they just thought she was cold?
posted by sandraregina at 6:11 PM on March 4, 2010


Oh for heaven's sake, breasts are everyone's first favorite thing. EVERYONE'S, I SAY!
posted by Scoo at 7:15 PM on March 4, 2010


"I don't care. We're not having an anatomically correct snowman in the front yard."
posted by danb at 8:39 PM on March 4, 2010


(oh right, google image search)
posted by danb at 8:40 PM on March 4, 2010


Does anyone else notice mention of traffic coming to see the snow sculpture? It is not at all impossible that the complaint was really about the nuisance of drive-by gawkers, not the nudity. You know, the "OMG! A nekid lady!" type folks. Calling that thing a naked woman is rather a stretch, given the lack of arms and feet.

Oh? She had no head? I hadn't noticed that. Heavens to Hamburgers!
posted by Goofyy at 8:51 PM on March 4, 2010


Wow. Reading the "[previously]" link makes me realize just how far Metafilter has come in being able to discuss gender issues. That thread is just a heap of misogyny -- a nasty pile-on, if you can believe it, of a sexual assault victim.
posted by war wrath of wraith at 11:11 PM on March 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


A 1000 people could approve, but it just takes one anon idiot to bring on the police.
posted by rmmcclay at 1:04 AM on March 5, 2010


What's the difference between a snow-man and a snow-woman?

Snow balls!

-rimshot-
posted by jonp72 at 5:59 AM on March 5, 2010


I'm as Catholic as the next guy and I find nothing wrong with this. If they are clothing everything naked then there are 1,000's of statues and paintings just like this. This is art and shouldn't be censored. The human body is a beautiful thing.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:44 AM on March 5, 2010


Mentioning nude statues leads me to posting this joke which I could have sworn has been posted already somewhere on this site but I can't find it. Anyways:

Jesus comes back and he has some time to kill before Armageddon, so he's walking around in this park. He comes across two life-sized statues, one on each side of the path, of a nude man and a nude woman, their arms stretched across the path to each other but not quite touching, looks of unutterable longing on their faces. He stops, looks from one to the other, then looks around to make sure no one is watching, and snaps his fingers.

Instantly, the two statues turn into real live people, still nude. After some quick introductions, the two former statues are glancing at each other and blushing a little, and the woman says to Jesus, "You know, we've been standing there for more than a century, not being able to move..."

Jesus thinks about it and says, "Well, I'd probably catch heck from Dad if I let this go on too long... you can have an hour." The man and woman look at each other, giggle, and hold hands while they scamper off into the bushes. Soon there are rustling sounds, then violent rustling that shakes the bushes, then deeply contented grunting. Jesus blushes a little himself and looks discreetly in the other direction. After about half an hour, the two emerge from the bushes, flushed and sweaty and still holding hands. Jesus clears his throat and says, "You know, you still have thirty minutes left."

The woman looks at the man and exclaims, "Excellent! This time, you catch the pigeons and I'll shit on their heads!"
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:54 AM on March 5, 2010


Wow, between jonP and H Jack, I dont think my eyes will stop rolling for a while out of frustrated acknowledgement of a bad pun/joke.

I had to favorite and unfavorite to quell the uneasy feeling.
posted by subaruwrx at 1:58 PM on March 5, 2010


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