Great Minds (Do Not) Think Alike: A Relationship Gone Wrong

March 11, 2010 12:40 AM

Two Icons of American Indie Culture And Their Shortlived Romance--Summarized in a Comic Strip by Lynda Barry. Inimitable Lynda Barry's "Head Lice and My Worst Boyfriend" story. Jeez, who WAS this guy? Oh...I see...
posted by The ____ of Justice (47 comments total)

So she dated [hover spoiler] because he reminded him of a kid she knew in elementary school, nicknamed "the professor" and then gave him head lice? I was a bit confused because I thought "the professor" was [spoiler] at first.

He comes off as a huge douche in the comic, but it's obviously pretty one sided. Maybe she was insufferable. Also I had no idea [spoiler] was that old.
posted by delmoi at 1:18 AM on March 11, 2010

Nice ponytail, icon of American indie culture!
posted by furiousthought at 1:29 AM on March 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

I don't know if she dated him just because he was like her old crush...I think he just reminded her of the crush at some point in the relationship.

Yeah, sorry, the story IS a bit confusing the way it's presented.

And I agree, it's one person's story. I just thought it was a combination of hilarious/awful that I thought it would make a good link.

Thankfully, it seems like it was years ago and the ex-boyfriend frankly admits he was an idiot (if your read further down below.)
posted by The ____ of Justice at 1:30 AM on March 11, 2010

Then again:

----- says, "I was an idiot. I was in the wrong. About the breakup. About the haircut story. About so many things with her. Anything bad she says about me I can confirm."

posted by delmoi at 1:33 AM on March 11, 2010 [7 favorites]

Nice ponytail, icon of American indie culture!

If someone can post a photo of the icon with ponytail still attached, I will love you forever.
posted by The ____ of Justice at 1:35 AM on March 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also I had no idea [spoiler] was that old.

The foot soldiers always age faster than the officers. Were you aware of that?
posted by The ____ of Justice at 1:39 AM on March 11, 2010 [16 favorites]

One of my favorite quotes involves this story. A friend of mine saw Lynda Barry at a reading quite a few years ago. He said that she debated whether she should or shouldn't say anything about her failed relationship with Ira. Finally, she decided to only say, "It was like drinking black ink."
posted by funkiwan at 2:01 AM on March 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Ira Glass has head lice?
posted by pracowity at 2:29 AM on March 11, 2010

I remember The Wild Room. Ira did not come off well. It took me a long time to give This American Life a chance, just based on my memories of his self-enchanted monologues on that earlier show.
posted by biddeford at 2:43 AM on March 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Just to break down the relevant bits of the story since it's a bit confusing:

- Lynda Barry talks about being in the Philippines as a child, having a crush on a geeky kid she calls the "Professor"
- Barry meets a guy later in life who at first reminds her of her childhood crush, since the guy is so knowledgeable. Unfortunately the guy also says some unbelievably jerky things to her.
- She catches head lice from the children she teaches at school, and now her new beau has head lice too
- As they stand they stand there with lice shampoo on their heads, her beau yells at her
- She realizes the beau actually reminds her of her mean mom, not so much the "Professor"

If you read further, you find out who her ex was, and some more about their relationship.
posted by The ____ of Justice at 2:46 AM on March 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oh, I thought the beau reminded her of the head lice, instead of the Professor.
posted by lauranesson at 3:00 AM on March 11, 2010

Truth really is stranger than fiction. Before the name of the boyfriend was revealed I was anticipating that it was Howard Stern, but him being a jerk would be no big surprise. Thanks for this, it was great.
posted by Daddy-O at 4:21 AM on March 11, 2010

The funny thing is, I guessed the personality on the thid panel of the comic, then thought, "Naaah," and read the rest of the comic wondering who the guy was. And then when the article confirmed who, I may have woken up the neighbors with my laughing.
posted by ardgedee at 4:54 AM on March 11, 2010

Indeed, I agree with Daddy-O, above; as I was reading it, I was like, "Ah, who could it possibly be that be so amazingly surprising?" I'm sorry I doubted; the reveal was pretty jaw-dropping!

Also, the Ma Hunkel story below that is pretty sweet, too; thank you!
posted by Greg Nog at 4:55 AM on March 11, 2010

The book this story was recently featured in is this one.
posted by pinky at 5:09 AM on March 11, 2010

Wow. Ira Glass reminds me of my ex-boyfriend. But I love this:

Glass says, "I was an idiot. I was in the wrong. About the breakup. About the haircut story. About so many things with her. Anything bad she says about me I can confirm."
posted by Locative at 5:19 AM on March 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Having just listened to this episode--where a female editor reported that when she and another staffer critiqued a segment on corporate "personhood" as difficult to follow, he joked, "that's because you're girls"--I'm not all that surprised.

Also, love the supreme irony of Ira Glass losing his temper and branding someone shallow as because they natter on with seemingly unconnected stories from their past that all end up to have some relevance to each other by the end....I would just about pay to hear him deliver the line attributed to him in the cartoon:

"You keep talking about things that have nothing to DO with ME! You talk talk talk about asinine memories like they MEAN something! You're shallow! You're poison! Do you really think I'm INTERESTED?"

Defensive projection?
posted by availablelight at 5:23 AM on March 11, 2010 [8 favorites]

Swish! Totally called it.


Also, hilarious.
posted by palindromic at 5:25 AM on March 11, 2010

I liked this a lot.

I also liked how both Barry and Glass seem to be able to look back at their 20s and 30s and recognize how insufferable they probably were. It gives me some hope about my own future.
posted by muddgirl at 5:42 AM on March 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

Yay Lynda Barry!

All of 100 demons is terrific. The story about the dead boy always makes me cry.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:49 AM on March 11, 2010

I was trying to imagine the boyfriend might have been Ky Rissdahl (sp?). The truth of it is more likely of course (I guess). I also like the as insufferable as I the boyfriend sounded earlier, I was glad he owned up to it later on.

This was cool. Thanks.
posted by From Bklyn at 5:51 AM on March 11, 2010

growing up, I had this torrid romance with this kid on my block. He used to cheat while we were playing pogs and once looked me in the eyes and said "Spaulding, you're the least tubular person I'll ever know. You're the definition of ungnarly."

That kids name? John Hodgman. Also this story is totally real.
posted by allen.spaulding at 5:55 AM on March 11, 2010 [14 favorites]

"We were reading the New York Times one morning a couple of weeks in, and he looked at me and said, 'You don't know what the IMF is, do you?'"

DAMN IT! I've been waiting for years for someone to seriously say that to me, just so I could, equally seriously, say "of course I do. That's the Impossible Missions Force."

(In my fantasy, I then pull my face off to reveal that I am actually Cary Grant.)
posted by Naberius at 5:57 AM on March 11, 2010 [15 favorites]

From Lynda Barry's comic "The Price of Love," about the time she was falling in love with Ira Glass.

What is love and why does it pester me so? Who started it? Was it the cave mens and cave womens? . . . Why do they call it "Falling In Love." Can anyone stop it? No. They cannot.

If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile. If you say,"No, I don't want it right now." That's when you'll get it for sure. Love will make a way out of no way.

Love is an exploding cigar which we willingly smoke.

posted by jfwlucy at 6:09 AM on March 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

Lynda Barry = best evar

Ira Glass only saved himself from my eternal contempt by owning up in the last paragraph. Good job, Ira!
posted by edheil at 6:14 AM on March 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Glass says, "I was an idiot. I was in the wrong. About the breakup. About the haircut story. About so many things with her. Anything bad she says about me I can confirm."

Jesus Christ, you mean he talks like that in real life too?
posted by Joe Beese at 6:37 AM on March 11, 2010 [15 favorites]

I thought this was pretty old news. That is to say I've known about it for a hot minute. I think that Ira Glass is exceptional, as is This American Life, and I understand that it's kind of comforting to see people who are superlatively talented taken down a peg or two.

Both he and Lynda Barry are enviably talented, and regardless of their miserable relationship with one another, I am perfectly happy about their relationship with me. That relationship being I get to enjoy their work, and they are both reasonably prolific.
posted by orville sash at 6:41 AM on March 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'm streaming This American Life right now and totally imagining Ira Glass saying that thing about foot soldiers. I've read Barry's head lice story so many times (love her) and never once guessed that's who the boyfriend was!
posted by leesh at 6:47 AM on March 11, 2010

I wonder if perhaps working in the industry that he works in helped give him that perspective that led to the “Yes. I was a dick statement at the end.” Nothing has made me want to tone done my assholishness more than experimenting with podcasting and having to listen to myself talk. It’s also made me more willing to cop to it.
posted by edbles at 6:48 AM on March 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

huh...if that's her worst boyfriend she got off easy.
posted by sexyrobot at 7:11 AM on March 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

jfwlucy, that's the best translation of Carmen's Habanera I've ever read.
posted by Pallas Athena at 7:16 AM on March 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Damn, I was guessing Penn Jillette.
posted by newmoistness at 7:27 AM on March 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

Forget Lynda Barry and Ira Glass. Keep reading that page to find out about the original Red Tornado.
posted by wittgenstein at 7:29 AM on March 11, 2010

If I've learned one thing from this story, it's that a heartfelt apology really does work.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 8:14 AM on March 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

I wish my past life featured awkward moments with now-famous people.
posted by tommasz at 8:16 AM on March 11, 2010

So... Ira Glass is Tim Robbins in High Fidelity?
posted by shakespeherian at 8:57 AM on March 11, 2010 [6 favorites]

Jesus Christ, you mean he talks like that in real life too?

Apparently so. After he stops talking, there's a 3-4 second pause and music from Kruder & Dorfmeister starts playing from nowhere in particular.
posted by jquinby at 9:02 AM on March 11, 2010 [9 favorites]

Did not know they had exploding cigars at bullfights! Ya learn something every day.
posted by jfwlucy at 10:02 AM on March 11, 2010

I understand that it's kind of comforting to see people who are superlatively talented taken down a peg or two.

No, no, no. Perhaps you did, but I didn't find it comforting at all, since I'm a big Ira fan.

Initially I didn't even want to post this (such is the extent of my fangirlism), but I felt, like edheil, he redeemed himself because he copped to it.

If he hadn't, I'm pretty sure this would painfully decrease my enjoyment of TAL. Because I would keep thinking of some smarmy guy in a ponytail who made up stories to get to where he is today (demonstrated by the haircut piece he did for the Wild Room....Glass said on the air that he went along with this tomfoolery because the ponytail had been favored by an old flame who'd dumped him—and now it was time to stop pining and let her go.)

I'm not posting this to "take people down a peg." And I don't think a single person here is denying Ira's talents.
posted by The ____ of Justice at 11:32 AM on March 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Because I would keep thinking of some smarmy guy in a ponytail who made up stories to get to where he is today (demonstrated by the haircut piece he did for the Wild Room....Glass said on the air that he went along with this tomfoolery because the ponytail had been favored by an old flame who'd dumped him—and now it was time to stop pining and let her go.

Well, I like to remember that there's two sides to every story. It may very well be that Glass DID think Barry liked the ponytail.

I think the fact that Glass did the honorable thing when the comic came out and wasn't like OMG HERE IS THE REAL STORY! speaks to either his character or his PR firm.
posted by muddgirl at 11:44 AM on March 11, 2010

Well, I like to remember that there's two sides to every story. It may very well be that Glass DID think Barry liked the ponytail.

Perhaps, but did he really need to say that she dumped him, when it was apparently the other way around?
posted by The ____ of Justice at 11:48 AM on March 11, 2010

For an entertainment piece? I dunno... I guess I assume that everyone gives the truth a wide berth when it comes to "autobiographical" NPR pieces.

I mean, what's a better story? Does going for the better story (even though it's not true) make him a worse person? Probably. Does it make him a better entertainer? Absolutely.
posted by muddgirl at 12:09 PM on March 11, 2010

Does going for the better story (even though it's not true) make him a worse person? Probably. Does it make him a better entertainer? Absolutely.

I guess this is why they say many writers make terrible boyfriends/girlfriends...

(as I am sure someone out there is also cursing Barry for an unfavorable portrayal of themselves somewhere in her work...)
posted by The ____ of Justice at 12:21 PM on March 11, 2010

No ponytail, but the Tribune does sell a pic of a fully-maned Glass from that photo spread which is pretty amazing in its own right.
posted by radiomayonnaise at 12:34 PM on March 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Radiomayonnaise--not a ponytail, but YOU are amazing for finding this!!! Thank you!!!
posted by The ____ of Justice at 12:39 PM on March 11, 2010

Great find; thanks for sharing it.
posted by theora55 at 2:44 PM on March 11, 2010

I put this up on metachat a few years ago.

Someone brought it up to LB at a reading sometime later....her response was " I knew him during the Reagan administration. I don't know him now".
posted by brujita at 12:53 AM on March 12, 2010