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Kim Jong-il's European bank accounts
March 17, 2010 1:59 PM   Subscribe

Kim Jong-il, the Supreme Leader of North Korea, has a $4 billion (£2.6 billion) “emergency fund” hidden in secret accounts in European banks that he will use to continue his lavish way of life if he is forced to flee the country.
posted by Tlery (37 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Wow, that's a lot of sunglasses.

Hell, for that price I imagine he could live his dream and have his own rollercoaster at Disneyland.
posted by Theta States at 2:02 PM on March 17, 2010




I bet people in North Korea don't have to pay income taxes.
posted by GuyZero at 2:12 PM on March 17, 2010 [4 favorites]


In some sense, this is a good thing.

Better he high-tail it out and retire to someplace sunny and warm, than feel that the only option left him is to Go Out with a Bang.

Of course, that'll still leave behind him a starved and traumatized populace and a bunch of itchy generals-- but that's a separate issue.
posted by darth_tedious at 2:14 PM on March 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


I bet people in North Korea don't have to pay income taxes.

But 98% tithing is strongly encouraged.
posted by Babblesort at 2:15 PM on March 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


They really shouldn't be called "secret" accounts, should they?
posted by cell divide at 2:15 PM on March 17, 2010


Oh, I'm sorry. But I can't divulge any information about that customer's secret, illegal account. (hangs up phone) ...Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said he was a customer... oh, crap. I shouldn't have said it was a secret... oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal...! (sits back, fanning himself) Ah, it's too hot today.
posted by Babblesort at 2:19 PM on March 17, 2010 [9 favorites]


Is this unexpected? I think one of the first things I'd do after naming myself dictator for life is plan a good escape route and hide some cash reserves.
posted by graventy at 2:19 PM on March 17, 2010


where on earth could he hide?
posted by kuatto at 2:27 PM on March 17, 2010


Jong-il could probably just print up some more, with the help of the CIA.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:29 PM on March 17, 2010


his own rollercoaster at Disneyland

How about Experience: North Korea at Epcot? Try some grass soup, or deny yourself and give it to your kids! Get a ration of rice from a sack given in fearful tribute by the corrupt, evil U.S. president! Practice goose-step marching for hours! Listen to the radio that is permanently tuned to one station! Get a very short bad haircut because Dear Leader tells us that long hair on men drains energy from your brain! Tour the concentration camp for dissidents where conditions are MUCH WORSE!
posted by longsleeves at 2:30 PM on March 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


where on earth could he hide?

With four billion dollars? Anywhere he damn well pleases. I'd like to be the first to offer my apartment.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 2:30 PM on March 17, 2010 [3 favorites]


Now that's eponysterical if anything ever was.
posted by Babblesort at 2:32 PM on March 17, 2010 [5 favorites]


I bet he plans to go take over some backwater country and install himself as dictator for life.
posted by GuyZero at 2:34 PM on March 17, 2010


Given the amount of people he's tortured and families he's gassed, he better start a colony on the moon.
posted by thisperon at 2:37 PM on March 17, 2010


My God, would I go to see a film called Kim Jong-il's Colony on the Moon.

I'd also see a band with that name.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:41 PM on March 17, 2010 [4 favorites]


I think he miscalculated. Everyone knows that mo' money means mo' problems.
posted by jimmythefish at 2:41 PM on March 17, 2010 [6 favorites]


Well, everyone recommends a 6-12 month emergency fund, right? He must be watching Suze Orman.
posted by jckll at 2:47 PM on March 17, 2010


Well, everyone recommends a 6-12 month emergency fund, right?

I've heard he's a strict WWOD (What Would Oprah Do) practitioner.
posted by jimmythefish at 2:49 PM on March 17, 2010


He has that much money and he chooses to live in North Korea?
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:58 PM on March 17, 2010 [4 favorites]




Well thank God!

Visions of Jonestown on a national scale have been haunting me for years, now.
posted by jamjam at 2:59 PM on March 17, 2010


where on earth could he hide?
kuatto at 5:27 PM on March 17

With four billion dollars, this comment is eponysterical.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:00 PM on March 17, 2010


Metafilter is obsessed with Detroit and North Korea.

...?
posted by Afroblanco at 3:04 PM on March 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


that first link openly mentions that it quotes from this telegraph article by oliver arlow. in fact, the only 'original' work on the north korea economy blog is the citation and choice of which part of the article to present.

is there any reason that the original telegraph article was not linked on the fpp?
posted by the aloha at 3:06 PM on March 17, 2010


Metafilter is obsessed with Detroit and North Korea.

The Third World makes for interesting discussion.
posted by gman at 3:09 PM on March 17, 2010 [3 favorites]


i restate what theta states mentions because i am the kind of cat that wants answers.
posted by the aloha at 3:10 PM on March 17, 2010


Kim Jong-il, the Supreme Leader of North Korea, has a $4 billion (£2.6 billion) “emergency fund” hidden in secret accounts in European banks that he will use to continue his lavish way of life if he is forced to flee the country.

Who doesn't?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:11 PM on March 17, 2010


North Korea sent a St Patrick's Day message to the Irish President, Mary McAleese, today that sympathised with Ireland's difficult economic circumstances.

In light of this, this comment made me smirk:

I bet he plans to go take over some backwater country and install himself as dictator for life.
posted by knapah at 3:17 PM on March 17, 2010


That's weird, because I have $4 billion hidden in North Korea in case I need to defect.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 3:48 PM on March 17, 2010


I can see how retirement will look in the headlines...

Gen. Kim Jong Il Inspects Dubai Casino

Dubai, April 5 (KCNA) -- General Secretary Kim Jong Il provided field guidance to blackjack players at the Hilton Dubai Jumeirah, KCNA reported Wednesday. Conducted by leading officials of the enterprise, he looked round a room dedicated to Texas Hold 'Em and a table area used for craps. He then went round various production processes including the pit boss table to acquaint himself in detail with a solid card strategy.

Calling back with deep emotion upon the path of victory and prosperity covered by the Middle East's newest gambling enterprise, Kim said that a winning poker hand is always possible with the teachings of the revolution. The legacy of immortal exploits will shine when raising significant sums on a good hand, particularly at the expense of bellicose American imperialists and their south Korean stooges.

Kim set forth important tasks to be carried out by the enterprise. "The most important task of the casino enterprise is to pay out large sums", he stressed. He expressed expectation and conviction that the workers of the casino would fulfill their revolutionary duty in bringing finely mixed cocktails and knowing players by name, demonstrating the heroic stamina and invincible spirit of the working class of Dubai.
posted by crapmatic at 4:06 PM on March 17, 2010 [9 favorites]



On a related note, I came across this article today about the former professor of Kim Jong Il. Tragic but fascinating.
posted by dealing away at 4:22 PM on March 17, 2010 [10 favorites]


Hell, for that price I imagine he could live his dream and have his own rollercoaster at Disneyland.

Oh wow. I'm imagining this whole Rankin-Bass style children's special in which Kim Jong Il gets his own rollercoaster, and he's all like "YES! YES! ALL MINE! NO ONE ELSE CAN PLAY ON MY ROLLERCOASTER! NOT EVER!", but then he gets bored, and the voiceover comes on like "Little Jong Il learned something at that moment: you can have the best rollercoaster in the world, but it's no fun without friends!". And then North Korea abandons its isolationism, and everyone lives happily ever after.
posted by DecemberBoy at 5:34 PM on March 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


In fact, what Kim Jong-Il doesn't realise is that the $4bn he has stashed is at North Korea's official exchange rate for the Won.

Unfortunately, this actually converts to just 17 dollars and 62 cents at the unofficial rate his North Korean financial advisor had to use for the transaction.
posted by MuffinMan at 1:13 AM on March 18, 2010


where on earth could he hide?

Luxembourg (or Switzerland, Austria, Lichtenstein) should be forced to keep him, just as they are keeping his money. They've made a handsome profit from his money, so surely they would welcome his person in their country.
posted by Houstonian at 4:44 AM on March 18, 2010


dealing away, that is such a great article. thanks for that.
posted by bam at 10:18 AM on March 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


There is a cave near me, in Switzerland, called Höllgrotten. I suppose we could lock him up in there, somewhere. He can spend his money on delivery services.
posted by Goofyy at 11:04 AM on March 20, 2010


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