One-Quarter of What You'd Pay in Town.

March 21, 2010 5:01 PM

Fiverr -- What would you do for $5? "I will do voice over and/or voice acting for you for $5." • "I will write a Short Bed Time Story for $5." • "I will write anything appropriate on my forehead and wear it to public school all day for $5." Any requests? "Do a 30 second video commercial for my website." • "Reduce/eliminate echo in an audio file." • "Ask a girl out for me."
posted by not_on_display (57 comments total)

I'd comment on this post.
posted by codswallop at 5:03 PM on March 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

I will foretell the doom of the warren during a May sunset.
posted by weston at 5:05 PM on March 21, 2010 [28 favorites]

This looks very interesting. Be neat to see if it takes off.
posted by The otter lady at 5:08 PM on March 21, 2010

I'd call out a MetaFilter mod's significant other in MetaTalk for a cold Lincoln.

Seriously. Try me.
posted by Ufez Jones at 5:11 PM on March 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Far too many are basically offers to spam a bunch of people for $5. This could be really cool if they added just a touch of editorial control.
posted by scottreynen at 5:15 PM on March 21, 2010

I'd do things for five dollars. But the things that I'd do for five dollars I'd also do for free if you asked me nicely.

It's the things that I'd do for five figures that you have to worry about.

Yeah.

You specifically.

Better think about that. But not for too long.
posted by Splunge at 5:16 PM on March 21, 2010 [18 favorites]

Five bucks? Same as downtown.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 5:17 PM on March 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

For $5 I will NOT derail this thread.

...

SARAH PALIN!
posted by DU at 5:21 PM on March 21, 2010 [5 favorites]

I'd register a sock puppet account for $5.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 5:23 PM on March 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

For $5 I will eat a Klondike Bar.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:29 PM on March 21, 2010

I'll buy that for a dollar!
posted by hellojed at 5:33 PM on March 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh come now - community weblog is getting old, aint it?
Rule 34.
Where's my wallet?
posted by cashman at 5:39 PM on March 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

I just made a profile. Finally, a place I can offer to write dirty limericks, bad haiku, and good Tolkien-style riddles.
posted by The otter lady at 5:44 PM on March 21, 2010

For five dollars I will flame out in metatalk and disable my account.

Seriously, it'll be fun.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:55 PM on March 21, 2010

...and over at Mechanical Turk there's bunch of people who will do the same thing for 20 cents.
posted by frobozz at 6:01 PM on March 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

In the (long ago, crack-ridden) East Village it was only $3.
posted by R. Mutt at 6:05 PM on March 21, 2010

I'll send you possibly pirated materials for 5$. But the offers to spam people sound more harmful/annoying (unless your the author).

this offer could be authorized by the copyright holder, possibly, maybe (I'll give you five dollars if you prove that the seller above is in fact authorized to sell that PDF).
posted by el io at 6:23 PM on March 21, 2010

I would refrain from snarking for the duration of this thread.
posted by diogenes at 6:24 PM on March 21, 2010

For $5 I'll register a new account at the web site of your choice, jump into the middle of a conversation, and proclaim that "I know more about his subject than you can possibly imagine."
posted by diogenes at 6:30 PM on March 21, 2010 [5 favorites]

Whatever, I'll do any of this shit for $4.99.
posted by threeants at 6:33 PM on March 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Whatever, I'll do any of this shit for $4.99.

I'll pay you $4.99 to up your price for everything else to $5.01.
posted by kenko at 6:39 PM on March 21, 2010

I'd overthink a plate of beans.
posted by ob at 6:43 PM on March 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

"What would you do for $5?"

As little as I had to, I guess.

_{/thebreakfastclub}
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 6:43 PM on March 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

For five dollars, I will mail you one genuine $2 bill.
posted by spilon at 7:00 PM on March 21, 2010

For five dollars, I'll make a Chris Elliot reference.

See this comment? FIVE BUCKS.
posted by Afroblanco at 7:02 PM on March 21, 2010

Headphones (Graham Chapman): Is this character giving you any trouble?
First Pilot (Michael Palin): He's just ruined this sketch.
Second Pilot(John Cleese): Yes, absolutely.
Headphones: Let's go on to the next one.
Mr. Badger (Eric Idle): No. Wait a tic, wait a tic. I won't ruin your sketch for a pound.
Second Pilot: No, no.
Badger: 75p.
Headphones: Next item. (they start to leave)

posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 7:12 PM on March 21, 2010

For five dollars, I'll favorite every single comment in this thread. Mail me for PayPal info.
posted by Dumsnill at 7:13 PM on March 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Thinking about this, there's not a damn thing I'd do for $5.
posted by planet at 7:28 PM on March 21, 2010

Five bucks (plus expenses) gets you six minutes of my time. Same as it ever was.
posted by philip-random at 7:40 PM on March 21, 2010

For 5 dollars, I'll eat lunch at Subway.

Chances are, I'm gonna do that anyway, so if you'd like to finance it that'd be cool.
posted by blaneyphoto at 7:57 PM on March 21, 2010

Under 'how it works' it says you only get paid $4 once the activity is completed. A 20% commission for the website seems pretty steep to me.
posted by Hargrimm at 7:57 PM on March 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

For a Fiver, I'll re-read Watership Down and the five bucks might buy me a copy that isn't falling apart....
posted by blaneyphoto at 8:06 PM on March 21, 2010

For five bucks I will do a shitty job on my desktop computer which you do not know how to do. You may not be satisfied, but what did you expect for five bucks?
posted by kozad at 8:17 PM on March 21, 2010

Same as in town.
posted by Balisong at 8:46 PM on March 21, 2010

For five dollars, I'll make you a Metafilter account.
posted by biochemist at 10:09 PM on March 21, 2010

Start a Hedge Fund.
posted by HP LaserJet P10006 at 12:06 AM on March 22, 2010

Me love you long time.
posted by swimming naked when the tide goes out at 12:07 AM on March 22, 2010

I'm in it: I do accordion stuff. (self link!)
posted by Baldons at 1:09 AM on March 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

For $5 I will teach you how to roll a really well made, massive doobie.*

*You supply the rolling papers and marijuana.
posted by Meatbomb at 4:01 AM on March 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

I would do anything for $5. But I won't do that.
posted by 0xFCAF at 5:26 AM on March 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

HA! I just picked up a cheap set of Artist Trading Cards and wondering what to do with them. 5 dollars is the price of a Mefite Membership or a decent beer - How about I Will Draw (and send you!) your username for 5 bucks?
posted by The Whelk at 5:54 AM on March 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

I would do nothing for five dollars. I would also do other things.
posted by jpcooper at 7:47 AM on March 22, 2010

Huh. I thought this would be more like:

* eat a golf-ball-sized clump of wasabi
* lick grape jelly off the bumper of a 77 Hornet
* eat 10 donuts in 90 seconds
* do a handstand for an hour

It's a bit more practical. Huh.

Me? I'd do pretty much anything for $5 (assuming that I'd want to do whatever it was anyway for free).

Talk on the phone?! You'd have to pay me about $100 for 15 minutes.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:02 AM on March 22, 2010

Wasn't there that guy on the internet who would eat anything...

for $5 I will send you some of this delicious homemade coffee cake.
posted by Wuggie Norple at 11:18 AM on March 22, 2010

For five dollars, I will look disdainfully at you for offering me five dollars.

when you get up to twenty, we'll talk
posted by davejay at 1:56 PM on March 22, 2010

I will leave you alone. That I would leave you alone for nothing is not relevant.
posted by tommasz at 2:05 PM on March 22, 2010

For five dollars, I'd do an hour of manual labour, then report you to the relevant authorities.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:22 PM on March 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

This is SO wrong:

kdavid will send you 70 sexy and nude (soft and hard) homemade photos of my ex girlfriend Judith for $5.

Also, where is he buying such cheap photo-quality paper?
posted by misha at 2:41 PM on March 22, 2010

Oh, and

kdavid will send you 45 nude (soft and hard) homemade photos of my ex girlfriend Anne for $5.

He is totally dis-respecting Judith now.
posted by misha at 2:42 PM on March 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'd tell someone I've come to demolish their house. Not straight away of course, I'd wipe a couple of windows first.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:52 PM on March 22, 2010

I offered to write a 500 word short story using 5 words chosen by the patron. Sold one! Just nine more and I'll be able to withdraw the funds fiverr is keeping until I've made $40.
posted by mph at 4:03 PM on March 22, 2010

weston, you have produced my most favorite metafilter comment ever.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 4:06 PM on March 22, 2010

"I will foretell the doom of the warren during a May sunset."

I don't get it. Can someone explain?
posted by taff at 12:31 AM on March 23, 2010

Taff, I'm not 100% certain, but I think this is something a character called Fiver does in a book called Watership down.
posted by emperor.seamus at 3:56 AM on March 23, 2010

For $5 I will teach you how to roll a really well made, massive doobie.*

For $5 I will teach you how to smoke Meatbomb's doobie.*

*You supply the doobie.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:59 AM on March 23, 2010

Blah, whatever. Some of these are cute and fun. But as a freelancer, watching people whore themselves out for $4 for work that I'd do for at a bare minimum of $30-$50/hr is really irritating.
posted by howrobotsaremade at 9:53 AM on March 23, 2010

Nice post. Am amazed what the vendors will do for $5. Practical and affordable!
posted by nickyskye at 5:54 PM on March 24, 2010