July 16, 2001

10:58 AM

No more liver spots. No more birthmarks. No more RACISM?How about a new cosmoceutical that allows you to change skin color at will? Just rub on a cream, and you're no longer black, but asian. Another one changes you from a pasty-legged geek into a bronze adonis! Now how much would you pay?
posted by dwivian (23 comments total)

I assume that the lightener comes with a big hat and a super-advanced sunblock....
posted by rebeccablood at 11:01 AM on July 16, 2001

[insert Michael Jackson joke here]
posted by iceberg273 at 11:06 AM on July 16, 2001

This was a Bloom County strip, years ago... :)
posted by hincandenza at 11:13 AM on July 16, 2001

No more racism? Can't wait to see how they market this stuff...
posted by sudama at 11:14 AM on July 16, 2001

I didn't think those "erase racism" bumper stickers were meant to be taken seriously...
posted by jennak at 11:22 AM on July 16, 2001

Oooh...I wonder...if I used the lightener with my super-pale skin, would I become transparent?

Seriously, this could be a lifesaver for involuntary vampires like myself. I could use a little more melanin. I imagine that's how the marketing will go--the medical uses will be touted. Everything else will be word of mouth. And probably word of MTV.
posted by frykitty at 11:25 AM on July 16, 2001

...The drug, applied as a cream, has been tested in the United States on the Yucatan pig, a creature whose skin has similar properties to that of a human being...

Oh, so now we have to bring EVOLUTION into it? ;-)
posted by briank at 11:29 AM on July 16, 2001

cause all the world needs is more self loathing.
posted by c at 11:35 AM on July 16, 2001

Why stop at lightening and darkening the skin - why not red, orange or a nice light blue? How 'bout it science?
posted by Sellersburg/Speed at 11:41 AM on July 16, 2001

sellers: don't encourage the raver kids
posted by moz at 11:44 AM on July 16, 2001

is it the dope or is this a freakin weird day.
posted by clavdivs at 12:06 PM on July 16, 2001

I'm just wondering what the other pigs thought. Say, does Tohizitla look a little different to you?
posted by Ezrael at 12:22 PM on July 16, 2001

Sellersburg/Speed: please don't pester science. its busy enough working on destroying us all.
posted by shinji_ikari at 12:53 PM on July 16, 2001

This is slightly creepy, just the other day I was walking the dog and thinking about how I'm not going to get anything near a tan because of my fear of that little thing called cancer and was wondering why no one's doing research into a melanin pill.

Screw the pill, with both creams you can do some pretty creative stuff to your body.
posted by skallas at 1:06 PM on July 16, 2001

It would sure make theatre make-up a whole lot easier.
posted by Zosia Blue at 1:10 PM on July 16, 2001

I hate to be pessimistic, but I don't think this will change a thing. Genetics has shown that the concept of 'race' is more a social invention, not a genetic one.
And since most racial characteristics are structural, merely changing to color of one's skin won't hide the fact that someone is of European, Asian or African descent, although there probably is a small percentage of people who could 'pass' for another ethinicity.
posted by black8 at 1:13 PM on July 16, 2001

The most interesting potential for this stuff:

Temporary tattoos!
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:15 PM on July 16, 2001

Three words: Inverse tan lines.
posted by whuppy at 2:40 PM on July 16, 2001

Another viewpoint: I happen to be suffering from vitiligo...all over. It sucks. I find myself having to explain my condition more as the disease progresses. And I'm (somewhat) worried that the spots (which are currently small-ish on my face but grow in size weekly) make others uncomfortable...and its hard to avoid the paranoia that my looks could affect whether or not I can get a different job. Ugh.

Thankfully, I'm a programmer. Occupation choice serendipity since there's not as much face time as say, "Regional Sales Director."

Don't want pancake makeup. That seems to bring up even more queries. :) Although, I could go around as The Crow, or even funnier, Darth Maul if I liked. Though, in that case, "elementary school teacher" would have to be crossed off the occupation list, unfortunately.

In any case, I'm excited to see what this product can deliver. I hope it works.
posted by massless at 4:56 PM on July 16, 2001

The end of racism? Maybe, but more likely it's just Sylvester McMonkey McBean.
posted by plinth at 5:29 PM on July 16, 2001

o brave new world that has such beings in it--Miranda, in The Tempset (Shakespeare)
posted by Postroad at 6:59 PM on July 16, 2001

Perhaps we should force everyone to have exclusively interracial relationships. Once everyone is clearly a mutt, then we can all get back to the business of enjoying our pancakes sans racism. Mutts live longer than purebreds anyway...
posted by fooljay at 8:04 PM on July 16, 2001

> Another one changes you from a pasty-legged geek
> into a bronze adonis!

More likely, it changes a pasty-legged, spotty, pot-bellied geek into a brown-legged, skinny, spotty, pot-bellied geek.
posted by pracowity at 11:24 PM on July 16, 2001