Surgery to whiten the eyes, an overkill?

March 26, 2010 10:06 PM

Cosmetic eye whitening surgery by regional conjunctivectomy, a procedure that's been around for decades is now being used to whiten the eyes for cosmetic purposes only.

Surgeon who promotes this surgery says in two weeks the body regenerates the membrane that's removed from the eye, I wonder if that's identical to what they have removed. It certainly sounds like a serious surgery for cosmetic improvement, might it also improve the patient's quality of life by eliminating dry eye problem?

posted by neworder7 (53 comments total)

You want overkill? Anal bleaching is overkill. This eye stuff is just silliness.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:10 PM on March 26, 2010

Ha, I came in here to make an anal bleaching comment.
posted by hermitosis at 10:10 PM on March 26, 2010

This sounds insane. Couldn't you just get more sleep and eat a better diet? Or go see your doctor. (An MD, that is.) Sometimes discoloration in the eyes can be a symptom of liver problems.
posted by Kevin Street at 10:17 PM on March 26, 2010

I blanch at the anal bleach.
posted by nevercalm at 10:18 PM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

Don't shoot 'til you see the surgically-enhanced whites of their eyes.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:20 PM on March 26, 2010 [2 favorites]

Dry eye problems don't, generally, involve removing parts of the conjunctiva-- usually they do that for growths in that area. Punctal plugs, artificial and some medications can help, though. There's some really good drops for chronic eyelid inflammation these days.

I'm not an ophthalmologist, just someone with shitty dry eye and a regular ophtho checkup from a guy who's at least as qualified, if not more than, the two guys cited in the OP's article.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 10:21 PM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

Er, artificial tears. Lost my train of thought there.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 10:21 PM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

My eyes almost always have a reddish tint even when I've been sleeping properly, and I don't smoke, so I guess I can see the appeal. It seems dumb to me, but I can see why.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:39 PM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

Most of my family had to go abroad to bleach their asses. It's not covered by state health insurance. I couldn't afford it.

That is one Christmas picture I hope never ends up on Flickr.
posted by Dumsnill at 10:40 PM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

We are all of different colors - red, yellow, black and white. But when you look a man in the eyes, he is always white.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:42 PM on March 26, 2010

She's got Betty White eyes
posted by sallybrown at 10:47 PM on March 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

As a former optometrist's assistant, I can tell you that you shouldn't be having ANY surgery on your eyes (cosmetic or otherwise) unless it is absolutely medically necessary. There are way too many risks involved, and if someone (an inexperienced surgeon, for instance) fucks up, it's your eyesight we're talking about.
posted by amyms at 10:48 PM on March 26, 2010 [14 favorites]

The white part is nice, but most of the vitamins are in the colorful center.

High in cholesterol though.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:50 PM on March 26, 2010 [5 favorites]

Most of my family had to go abroad to bleach their asses. It's not covered by state health insurance.

Some flex-spend accounts now cover asshole bleaching. Tell your grandkids to save their receipts.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:57 PM on March 26, 2010

No, no, asshole bleaching used to be a perfectly accepted tax-payed procedure in my country, but then Obama and filibusters and Krugman and Metafilter and JESUS CHRIST CAN I JUST GET MY ASS BLEACHED FOR EASTER!!??111!!?
posted by Dumsnill at 11:02 PM on March 26, 2010

If everyone else gets their eyes bleached, do I even need anal bleaching?
posted by sexyrobot at 11:04 PM on March 26, 2010 [2 favorites]

People remember where they were when Obama was elected.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:07 PM on March 26, 2010

sexyrobot said: If everyone else gets their eyes bleached, do I even need anal bleaching?

If everyone has their heads up their asses, it all evens out.
posted by amyms at 11:09 PM on March 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

Crazily enough, this is a cosmetic procedure that has me going "hmmm, maybe." And I won't even consider laser eye surgery, even though it would mean no more glasses.

I have my father's pale blue eyes - quite striking, actually. Sadly, along with that comes the eye whites shot with very visible blood vessels. If I am the least bit overtired (regular occurrence, given that I have two little kids), had one too many drinks last night, or went on a crying jag, the red totally overwhelms the blue and makes me look like I've been on a bender of epic proportions. It can make me terribly self-conscious, and I feel like I'm a mad old Englishman who hasn't slept for 72 hours every time I look in the mirror.

But, again, since I won't have my sight fixed surgically, I probably will never pursue this. But it's interesting that it's available.
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 11:09 PM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

Lulu, try a plain saline eye drop. It will work wonders for your tried, bloodshot eyes. Don't listen to anyone (or any commercial) who tells you to use medicated eye drops. The "medication" in over-the-counter eyedrops just makes the redness worse.
posted by amyms at 11:13 PM on March 26, 2010 [2 favorites]

Those death panels are filled with assholes!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:14 PM on March 26, 2010

What amyms said. If you have any kind of allergy, those "medicated" eyedrops are like deliberately sticking a sharp stick in your own eye.
posted by blucevalo at 11:18 PM on March 26, 2010 [2 favorites]

Two of my eyes are affected with heterochromia. The third one isn't.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:26 PM on March 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

The white part is nice, but most of the vitamins are in the colorful center.

High in cholesterol though.

That's why I use Eye Beaters.
posted by brundlefly at 11:27 PM on March 26, 2010 [6 favorites]

Isn't this what Liquid Paper is for?

*contributes to the blindness of two dozen MeFites*
posted by Sys Rq at 11:27 PM on March 26, 2010

amyms: "Lulu, try a plain saline eye drop. It will work wonders for your tried, bloodshot eyes. Don't listen to anyone (or any commercial) who tells you to use medicated eye drops. The "medication" in over-the-counter eyedrops just makes the redness worse."

I've never tried any drops. Guess I'll have to try them out - my eyes aren't dry at all, just turn red at the drop of a hat. I don't know if it has anything to do with it, but I had to have my tear ducts surgically opened as an infant. I think it's just genetic - like I said, my dad (and my brother, even though he has green eyes) has the same issue.

It's that pale English coloring that does me in over and over - red eyes, sunburn, freckles. Sigh.
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 11:32 PM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

Do a lot of driving? Car air conditioning, blasting straight to the face, not so great on the ol' face-nuts.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:39 PM on March 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

You don't need dangerous and expensive eye surgery to make your eyes whiter. All you need is a paper-punch and one halved ping-pong ball.
posted by Davenhill at 11:40 PM on March 26, 2010 [8 favorites]

Every time I draw on the dental coloring pages they only let me use a white crayon.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:48 PM on March 26, 2010

Overuse of eye drops is also not recommended may trigger glaucoma or makes the redness worse in the long run, I wonder if plain saline eye drop is an exception?
posted by neworder7 at 11:50 PM on March 26, 2010

No Troy McClure joke? Anybody?
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 12:01 AM on March 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Seems more like a Dr. Nick situation to me.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:04 AM on March 27, 2010

Hmm. Now Americans will be constantly making comments about how us British people have terrible yellow eyeballs, and how come we don't get them fixed?
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 12:54 AM on March 27, 2010 [3 favorites]

actually, now that I think about it, if you bleached your eyes it would probably just make my butthole look even darker...great, now i have to get my anus double-bleached.
posted by sexyrobot at 1:57 AM on March 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Kind of tangential, but I noticed just the other day I noticed that Zhang Ziyi has a mole on her right eye. You can see it in this pic, or any high-res one that hasn't had it 'shopped out.
posted by delmoi at 2:28 AM on March 27, 2010

you are all very funny but only very few comments address to the subject matter, come on metafites...
posted by neworder7 at 3:39 AM on March 27, 2010

So in the future, everyone will have eyes as ridiculously white as overbleached as ("American") teeth, then?

With each new innovation, our streets get more and more clogged with the starving masses of unemployed Photoshop retouchers.
posted by rokusan at 4:24 AM on March 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

If I had the money ($5,000 per eyeball) and it was proven to be safe, I would have this done. I have Pingucula which look like little blobs of yellow fat. Even though I grew up in So. Cal, I never got into the habit of wearing sunglasses and the pinguecula developed around age 30. I had one ophthalmologist tell me that people who live at the equator can develop such severe cases of Ptergium that it covers the cornea. Let that be a warning to you! Always wear sunglasses outside!

I find them very unsightly but my husband says they aren't noticeable, however they are irritating, especially when my eyes are tired. They get inflamed pretty easily and eye drops can soothe but don't do anything for the appearance. I always envy those people who have bright, white eyes
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:41 AM on March 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

It irritates him when people tell him how tired he looks

You're old pal, live with it.
posted by digsrus at 5:04 AM on March 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Secret Life of Gravy, my mother has that too, and I'm sure if I sent her this video-link she'd be booking a procedure within five minutes. It gets irritating, and she gets inflammations every fortnight it seems. She constantly wiping tears from her runny eyes. I wear sunglasses in the dark, paranoid that I'll develop them and have the same trouble as her.
posted by dabitch at 6:41 AM on March 27, 2010

MetaFilter: you are all very funny but only very few comments address to the subject matter, come on metafites...
posted by fixedgear at 7:48 AM on March 27, 2010

My eyes are fairly bloodshot all the time. My eye doctor told me it was because of overwearing contacts when I was younger. I did get Lasik about four years ago, and I had really been limiting my contact use for some years before that. It'd be nice to not have noticeably red eyes, but I don't think it's worth the money.

Clearly, though, (relatively) easy cosmetic fixes are a growth industry with a huge upside.
posted by Nabubrush at 8:56 AM on March 27, 2010

le morte de bea arthur: "Hmm. Now Americans will be constantly making comments about how us British people have terrible yellow eyeballs, and how come we don't get them fixed?"

Not yellow, red! (And yes, I get the reference ... ). It's just one of the few downsides of having the classic English peaches-and-cream coloring. Everything is pale, pale, pale, including my eyes, and that makes the red more noticeable.

Just to be clear, I'm not bleaching *anything* on my body except my hair. It's just an interesting concept, given that it's an aspect of my appearance I have no control over on a long-term basis.
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 9:35 AM on March 27, 2010

"As an actor, my eyeballs need to look their whitest." -- Troy McClure
posted by kirkaracha at 9:47 AM on March 27, 2010 [5 favorites]

People are a funny species, until they get to the point where it's more pathetic than funny. Cosmetic eye-whitening and anal bleaching are at that point.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:54 AM on March 27, 2010

"The bartender's smile widened. His ugliness was the stuff of legend. In an age of affordable beauty, there was something heraldic about his lack of it."
posted by fixedgear at 10:27 AM on March 27, 2010 [4 favorites]

you are all very funny but only very few comments address to the subject matter, come on metafites...
posted by neworder7 (Joined: June 7, 2009, MeFi: 1 post , 5 comments)

are you serious? really? you post a weak, single link to a fluff piece on "the latest cosmetic surgery!!1!!" by a los angeles television station, on a friday night, and expect us to take it seriously? well, that's just batshitinsane (one of the tags you forgot, also losangeles and cosmeticsurgery)

also, they're called "mefites", n00b.
posted by sexyrobot at 10:32 AM on March 27, 2010

(sorry, but being chastised for being humorous makes my eyes red)
posted by sexyrobot at 11:07 AM on March 27, 2010

only very few comments address to the subject matter, come on metafites...

The best metafites are always on the gray pages, anyway.
posted by rokusan at 1:19 PM on March 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

amyms: As a former optometrist's assistant, I can tell you that you shouldn't be having ANY surgery on your eyes (cosmetic or otherwise) unless it is absolutely medically necessary. There are way too many risks involved, and if someone (an inexperienced surgeon, for instance) fucks up, it's your eyesight we're talking about.

Out of curiosity, do you include laser vision correction in that? I've been considering it lately, but I'm still kind of lukewarm on the idea.
posted by Karmakaze at 3:26 PM on March 27, 2010

Karmakaze, laser eye surgery is becoming safer and simpler as it becomes more common, but only your optometrist or opthalmologist can tell you whether you're a good candidate for it, and for which procedure (there are several different options for corrective surgery, some with better outcomes than others).

Your best bet is to make an appointment for a checkup with your regular eye doctor, then make a decision based on his/her recommendations. Don't go to the stripmall places that advertise "LASIK surgery only $199 per eye!" *shudder* Make sure you pick a surgeon who has a lot of experience and who has a track record of successful outcomes.
posted by amyms at 3:59 PM on March 27, 2010

five fresh fish, the anal bleaching is for work, dammit. You think I want to do it?
posted by Nabubrush at 4:18 PM on March 27, 2010

I never actually noticed that people's eyes can lose whitiness.
posted by biochemist at 10:24 AM on March 28, 2010 [1 favorite]