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Eating Michael Buble
March 29, 2010 6:49 PM   Subscribe

What you need are photos of Michael Buble Being Stalked By A Velociraptor.
posted by The Devil Tesla (73 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite

 
What I need is Buble being devoured by a velociraptor. This is a start, though.
posted by Schlimmbesserung at 6:50 PM on March 29, 2010 [6 favorites]


Via A.V. Club
posted by The Devil Tesla at 6:50 PM on March 29, 2010


"Yes, we get it, you're in tune with your feelings. I'm still going to disembowel you before I eat you."
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 6:53 PM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


brings a whole new meaning to "Haven't Met You Yet"
posted by Menomena at 6:53 PM on March 29, 2010 [2 favorites]


The way he pronounces his last name sounds so pretentious.
posted by jabberjaw at 6:53 PM on March 29, 2010


Look at this fucking book deal.

Some of those are strangely captivating. Like Where's Waldo with a velociraptor.
posted by graventy at 6:54 PM on March 29, 2010


Clever girl.
posted by Artw at 6:56 PM on March 29, 2010 [21 favorites]


Michael Steven Bublé (pronounced /ˈbuːbleɪ/; born 9 September 1975) is a Canadian singer-songwriter and actor.
posted by DU at 7:02 PM on March 29, 2010


I was all geared up to hate this but it's actually pretty funny. I also like velociraptors with their cute, beady eyes.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 7:02 PM on March 29, 2010


Finally! My first meme incorporating a celebrity I have never, ever heard of!
Somebody please tell me his last name is pronounced BOOB-lay, because that would be awesome.
posted by phunniemee at 7:03 PM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'd rather see "Kirk Cameron Being Devoured By A Velociraptor".
posted by dunkadunc at 7:05 PM on March 29, 2010 [2 favorites]


Actually I think it's boob-LAY.
posted by Mister_A at 7:05 PM on March 29, 2010


Also, the velociraptor in a fedora is priceless. priceless.
posted by dunkadunc at 7:06 PM on March 29, 2010


OK, I must be easily amused but those are pretty funny.
posted by octothorpe at 7:06 PM on March 29, 2010


I sent this to some of my friends earlier today with a subject heading of "About 45 seconds of amusement."
posted by Caduceus at 7:07 PM on March 29, 2010


Actually I think it's boob-LAY.

No, it's Boo-BLAY.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 7:07 PM on March 29, 2010


Clever girl.

Actually, the lyric is "Girl I'm not too clever"
teehee
posted by Menomena at 7:10 PM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


Nope. Try again. I gave them a shot but they were not what I needed.
posted by Babblesort at 7:18 PM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


yes but the English safari dude in the movie says "Clever girl" just when he realises that he's been stalked by the raptors and ... oh never mind.
posted by awfurby at 7:18 PM on March 29, 2010


Fake! These are 'shopped. I can tell because I've worked with pixels since '48.
posted by dobbs at 7:20 PM on March 29, 2010 [4 favorites]


Look at this fucking book deal.
Look at this fucking velociraptor.
posted by Dr. Zira at 7:21 PM on March 29, 2010


I laughed out loud. That is my answer to this post.
posted by HostBryan at 7:21 PM on March 29, 2010


Nope. Try again. I gave them a shot but they were not what I needed.

Road Signs For Carol? Sting's Wandering Beard? Fuck Yea Air Conditioners? I TRY SO HARD.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 7:22 PM on March 29, 2010


Actually, it's pronouced bubbly.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 7:24 PM on March 29, 2010 [2 favorites]


What you need are photos of Michael Buble Being Stalked By A Velociraptor.

Yes - that is exactly what I needed.

Thank you.
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 7:24 PM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


boob-LAY.

Sounds like fun.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 7:25 PM on March 29, 2010


I laughed so hard people who were downstairs had to come upstairs to find out why.

And yet I don't know why. And I only know Mr. Bublé from the "Hamm and bublé" SNL skit that I saw on Hulu. This was funnier than that.
posted by acanthous at 7:34 PM on March 29, 2010


best thing I've seen since beaarthurmountainspizza
posted by sarahj at 7:36 PM on March 29, 2010


Actually I think it's boob-LAY.

Rhymes with Goulet.
posted by oulipian at 7:39 PM on March 29, 2010


I think we need a new survey about how to pronounce "Michael Buble."
posted by Threeway Handshake at 7:42 PM on March 29, 2010


I've never heard Mr. Buble sing but from his "oh so serious" facial expressions, I'm guessing that I'd hate his music.

Oh, just did a quick Google and listened to a couple songs and bleh. Pretty awful stuff.
posted by octothorpe at 7:44 PM on March 29, 2010


Yay! Turns out Fuck Yea Air Conditioners was what I needed. I thank you.!
The ultimate super best air conditioner picture.
posted by Babblesort at 7:50 PM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


Actually it's pronounced, "Michael Stradivarius Cock-knuckle".
posted by Mister_A at 7:51 PM on March 29, 2010 [2 favorites]


Actually, that was exactly what I needed, since my coworker went to a Buble concert yesterday. HELLO FACEBOOK WALL
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 8:01 PM on March 29, 2010


Danger-wise it's such a hard, hard day
You just say those words we'll beat those birds down to Acapulco Bay
It is perfect for a sprinting honeymoon, they do say
Come on and run with me, let's run, let's run away
posted by bwg at 8:01 PM on March 29, 2010


This is a velociraptor system. I know this!
posted by Babblesort at 8:04 PM on March 29, 2010


If I were Michel Bublé (thank goodness I'm not) I'd respond by doing a lounge jazz cover of Holy shit it's a Dinosaur WTF
posted by Menomena at 8:04 PM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm frustrated that it can't ever quite seem to catch him, despite what is by any reasonable standard some very good stalking.
posted by clockzero at 8:05 PM on March 29, 2010 [4 favorites]


Some day I will get it.

Some day, I will take just one of the many absurd, ridiculous jokes I toss aside on a daily basis. Instead of just discarding it on a forum, or tossing it into my facebook feed, I will nurture it. I will take that joke, that one joke, repeat ad infinitum, stretch that joke beyond its breaking point.

That is the day I will win the internet.

Today is not that day. I am not ready yet. I am not ready for this Tumlr feed, for this Fucking Book Deal. It is not my time.

So here is Michael Buble being stalked by a velociraptor. I beheld it, and I did lol.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:06 PM on March 29, 2010 [6 favorites]


when they both have the hats on, it just looks like they are friends.
posted by djduckie at 8:12 PM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


I've never heard Mr. Buble sing but from his "oh so serious" facial expressions, I'm guessing that I'd hate his music.

I didn't know him from Adam's Off Ox, but then saw him on the Graham Norton show -- and am pleased to report he's a big ol' snarky doofus. (found the interview part, if you like; what he says about Oprah makes no sense, but I can see it happening).

(Now, OPRAH is someone I want to see stalked by veliciraptors.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:15 PM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


All buildup and no payoff.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 8:25 PM on March 29, 2010


To me it seems it would be more appropriate to have Buble stalking the raptor. The man has been not-so-silently stalking me for the past five years. First, my roommate started listening to him in the car, then acquaintances started suggesting I get his latest cd, now I hear him at work. I never really know it's him, he sounds like so many "r&bish" singers that I just can't tell the difference; I just know he's on the musak rotation cause I read the damn song list. I can't really say I dislike him yet I've never really wanted to like despite so many's insistence but, for some reason, I hope that raptor catches up to him someday.
posted by Partario at 8:37 PM on March 29, 2010


If it could even just eat his unbearably annoying last name, that would be enough.
posted by clockzero at 8:42 PM on March 29, 2010


It is what I needed, this day has been blerg.

But don't eat him, velociraptor friend, for my mother loves him so.
posted by padraigin at 8:44 PM on March 29, 2010


Too Specific!
posted by BrotherCaine at 8:50 PM on March 29, 2010


The man has been not-so-silently stalking me for the past five years. First, my roommate started listening to him in the car, then acquaintances started suggesting I get his latest cd, now I hear him at work.

Be thankful you don't know an acquaintance of mine who talks endlessly about being in an imaginary Love Quadrangle (her term) with Michael Bublé (her #1 Crush) and his former fiancé Emily Blunt and Blunt's current fiancé Jim from The Office (US) (her #2 Crush). And yes, she used to be like totally in love with Josh Groban.
posted by sallybrown at 9:00 PM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


Thank you. This was indeed, precisely what I needed.
posted by lovecrafty at 9:07 PM on March 29, 2010


sometimes you don't know you need something until it's right in front of you.
posted by The Whelk at 9:13 PM on March 29, 2010


Perhaps he has read how to survive a Velociraptor attack?

Or is he a member of The American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention?

If not... well he's dead.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:25 PM on March 29, 2010


Wow, only at the fifth picture did I realize there are actually Velociraptors in these pictures! (It is not even 8 yet, so that might be a factor)

At first I thought these were only implied by his somewhat distressed look which made the project seem very clever and at the same time very lazy.
posted by Glow Bucket at 10:56 PM on March 29, 2010


TWO-HANDED VELOCIRAPTOR

Ever since the days of Orestes there have been men with Velociraptors following
them. It wasn't until the Twenty-Second Century that mankind made itself
a set of real Velociraptors, out of steel. Mankind had reached a crisis by then.
They had a good reason for building man-shaped Velociraptors that would dog the
footsteps of all men who kill men. Nobody else. There was by then no other
crime of any importance.

It worked very simply. Without warning, a man who thought himself safe
would suddenly hear the steady footfalls behind him. He would turn and
see the Velociraptor walking towards him, shaped like a man of
steel, and more incorruptible than any man not made of steel could be.
Only then would the murderer know he had been tried and condemned by
the omniscient electronic minds that knew society as no human mind could
ever know it.
posted by vanar sena at 11:02 PM on March 29, 2010 [3 favorites]


I laughed, but I so did want that raptor to nom him, just once.
posted by meringue at 11:04 PM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


(contd)

For the rest of his days, the man would hear those footsteps behind him. A
moving jail with invisible bars that shut him off from the world. Never in life
would he be alone again. And one day-he never knew when-the jailer would
turn executioner.
posted by vanar sena at 11:19 PM on March 29, 2010


It took me a few pictures to realize they weren't just goofing on his concerned face and that there actually1 were velociraptors in the shots. Not a fan of his music, but he's actually2 pretty funny in interviews and doesn't seem to take himself very seriously.

1Well, not actually, but anyway.
2Yes, actually.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:57 PM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]


I never understood why people hate on his last name so much.
posted by emeiji at 12:47 AM on March 30, 2010


I never understood why people hate on his last name so much.


There's something of Hyacinth Bucket in the way he insists it should be pronounced.

(Yes, sure, his grandfather is Italian. Still...)
posted by Skeptic at 2:24 AM on March 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


If the dino were well concealed in all the pictures this could form a sort of high-concept "Where's Wally" for the postmodern hipster. It could be a coffee table book. Possibly some of the pages would be Magic Eye.
posted by howfar at 2:53 AM on March 30, 2010


The man has been not-so-silently stalking me for the past five years.

I think he's barely penetrated the U.S. consciousness, but it seems my secret superpower is always planning my trips to Europe to coincide with the megahyped release of his latest album/single. (And...huh. Didn't know he was Canadian.)

I sent this to some of my friends earlier today with a subject heading of "About 45 seconds of amusement."

This.
posted by kittyprecious at 6:33 AM on March 30, 2010


He's had at least one #1 album in the States (and several #1 "jazz" albums [shudder]), which is probably just a tiny bit more than "barely penetrating the American consciousness." Though it's true that he's not as horribly omnipresent as Justin Bieber, another Canadian import.

Whatever happened to Avril Lavigne?
posted by blucevalo at 7:12 AM on March 30, 2010



Whatever happened to Avril Lavigne?

Sealed in Carbonite.
posted by The Whelk at 7:15 AM on March 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


tiny tiny type to reveal that I do like one Boobleyee song
posted by The Whelk at 7:17 AM on March 30, 2010


He's had at least one #1 album in the States

Well, hello market segmentation!
posted by kittyprecious at 7:33 AM on March 30, 2010


Though it's true that he's not as horribly omnipresent as Justin Bieber

I've never heard of him either.
posted by octothorpe at 7:39 AM on March 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I pretty much love this.
posted by Evangeline at 8:04 AM on March 30, 2010


Metafilter: I beheld it, and I did lol.
posted by WalterMitty at 8:07 AM on March 30, 2010


I've never heard of him either.

Consider yourself fortunate. Truly.
posted by blucevalo at 8:15 AM on March 30, 2010


The crowd shot one is magnificent in its subtlety. They should really start adding velociraptors into a lot more stock and general photography.

It could be like the visual equivalent of the Wilhelm scream.
posted by quin at 8:38 AM on March 30, 2010 [1 favorite]


The velociraptor was so tastefully done, it's hard not to laugh.
posted by tommasz at 9:06 AM on March 30, 2010


There's something of Hyacinth Bucket...

I've told you before... [8:14 if you use the inline popup]
posted by Rat Spatula at 12:32 PM on March 30, 2010


There's something of Hyacinth Bucket in the way he insists it should be pronounced.
(Yes, sure, his grandfather is Italian. Still...)


Still...? Who else would know better how to pronounce his name?
A person's name is what it is, and people ought to accept that.
posted by emeiji at 2:23 PM on March 30, 2010


That's not very scary. It looks more like a ... six foot turkey.
posted by infinite intimation at 11:31 PM on March 30, 2010


In news from another planet; a recent post about AnnCoulter goes to Canada, brought me to a clip of Glenn Beck praising Canada for several things, one of which was Mr. Bublé (seemed as genuine of a sentiment as he is capable of...)

Sometime in the ballpark area of 2003/4 I was put in the position where it was five minutes before an aquafitness class was supposed to begin (it was basically a class for rehabilitation, stretching, exercise and working on movement, as well as just a general fitness, in water for buoyancy, and for not being hard on joints, the majority of the regular members were women over 65). I should describe that it was well known that when the aquafit class was about to take place, things had better be in order, and nothing out of place or left lying around ({fake snark because it ends up happy}despite the fact that they never put all of the equipment they used away at the end of the classes{fs}), but it was really ok anyway, because they were some of the nicest visitors and just liked having a great place to come to to get in the to swim, the women in the class were almost all regulars, and were extremely kind and always very nice, but if things were messy, or all out of order... well, I can only say that I made certain that when I was there they just never were... I am looking around, and they have all been ready for about 10 minutes already, so when suddenly the phone rings, it's the front desk, the regular teacher isn't able to make it for the first session, but will be there for the second hour, can anyone there teach it?
One minute to go.
Well, it's just me here, you know, I, um, I've never done that before.. telling myself how easy it would be (how hard could it be amirite, I am a teenager, I am supposed to be in shape), I am thinking, the regular teacher has just had her second child a few years earlier, the regular teacher is never out of breath, and able to yell instructions [so much harder than you would think] over the loud volume of the mystery mixes that would usually form the backbone of the rhythm of the class, swimming around the deep end going back and forth to the shallow end, jumping up on the side of the pool to explain visually some movement... shirley I could manage to do this too. I foolishly told myself) Ok. I said, I'll do it.


Realizing what I have just agreed to, I splutter, WAIT, NO, I mean, I can't do it, no, I meant... By now it is too late.

The usual teacher kept mystery mixed cds lying around, she would recognize the difficulty of making a mix that could fit the tastes of such a multi-generational group of people, and I had witnessed several big mistakes in music choices in the past... yeah, I remembered the music choice selection mishaps... and I was actually nervous to put in a mix cd, not knowing what was on it twenty songs in... so today there were two cd's to choose from, one had the words Michael Bublé, and was something I had never listened to, or seen lying around before, the other was a mystery mix. Not being a fan of the unknown elements that comprise mystery mixes made by aquafit teachers who have cd's by people I didn't know called Michael Bublé, I decided to try my chances with an hour of movement through water to music with the Bublé. So there I was, 45 minutes in, swimming in the middle of the deep end, going to the side and explaining what I meant by the "frog like swim move" (I think I was trying to come up with 'breast stroke'), thinking to myself, synchronized swimming would likely be easier than this... surrounded by approximately thirty five women variously aged between 30 and 87, trying to come up with how to remember the various different maneuvers that the usual teacher would do to keep things moving; I can only say, you have never known stress or pressure until you teach your first aquafit class.

Very much out of breath, and in awe of the regular teacher who would very often be doing two consecutive hours, but having completed a mostly successful operation, it was all over, except for occasional invitations to return. And the realization that Mr. Bublé was now the go to music for the class.
That cd endeared me to the regulars, they were extremely nice to me after that, and forgiving of the fact that as an awkward teen I had managed an attempt at teaching such a class, and been awkward. But it was a great experience, and the gain was mutual; as far as they knew, I would always be the one who had started a new tradition for their music selection..

Thank you Michael Bublé and your Billboard Hot Adult Contemporary award winning tracks, you really saved that situation for me. I still have nightmares thinking about what could have been on that mystery mix. (Ok, it didn't really haunt me at all... But a friend of mine... Ok, not a friend, but I read about someone once afraid of that... ok, fine, but you could imagine...)

Annnnd, thanks to the goodwill garnered by Michael Bublé and his music, from that day on it became tradition to throw the balls and other equipment used in the class into a basket at the end of the class (this really saved about 20 minutes at the end of every night, collecting equipment from all around everywhere.)
posted by infinite intimation at 1:13 AM on March 31, 2010


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