Or the dean from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. posted by griphus at 2:09 PM on April 1, 2010 [4 favorites]
They're WORKING TOGETHER to make people CONFORM TO SOCIETY'S RULES. posted by The Whelk at 2:10 PM on April 1, 2010
You know how thinkgeek had to go out and make the 8bit tie because April Fools or not, it was too awesome not to exist? Well, all I'm saying is there is a precedent here. posted by aspo at 2:11 PM on April 1, 2010 [16 favorites]
This I would buy. But...
... you grab Big Trouble in Little China Kurt Russell, but not Snake Plissken Kurt Russell? What's wrong with you? posted by leotrotsky at 2:12 PM on April 1, 2010 [5 favorites]
It's nice that the actually tagged the article as both "april fools" and "AprilFools." posted by filthy light thief at 2:13 PM on April 1, 2010
there has to be a Backroo Banzai Ex Machinae posted by The Whelk at 2:13 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
leotrotsky: wrong timeframe. Snake Plissken Kurt Russell is from 1997, not 1988. 1988 was when Manhattan first got walled off in the Escape from New York timeline. posted by fings at 2:16 PM on April 1, 2010
The villain has to be Patrick Bateman.
Or the dean from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
I was thinking Roy Batty or Ivan Drago, actually. Or Clubber Lang, giving Mr. T an opportunity to really shine in two identical, but opposing, characters. posted by The World Famous at 2:16 PM on April 1, 2010
Additional members:
Axel Foley
John Rambo
"Dutch" Schaefer
M = Ty Webb from Caddyshack posted by leotrotsky at 2:18 PM on April 1, 2010
SPOILER ALERT
The reason B.A. Baracus was acting so strangely -- and, apparently, talking to himself -- throughout LoEG88 was due to his body being utilized by Dr. Sam Beckett, leaping from life to life, putting things right that once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.
Like Snake Plissken, Batty can't be in it because he's from the future. If we want to get some Rutger Hauer in there (and of course we do) we'll have to go with John Ryder from The Hitcher. And that would be awesome. posted by brundlefly at 2:19 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
So, so wait a second. Does this mean the Ghostbusters, ousted from the walled-off Manhattan, could team up and battle say - Beetle Juice? I need to know much awesome I am dealing with here. posted by The Whelk at 2:20 PM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
The villain has to be Patrick Bateman.
American Psycho was published in 1991. posted by shakespeherian at 2:20 PM on April 1, 2010
A goldmine in comic form. posted by uri at 2:21 PM on April 1, 2010
American Psycho was published in 1991.
But takes place in '89. Although there is a debate to be had in whether the character has to be associated with the era or created therein. posted by griphus at 2:22 PM on April 1, 2010
...one would also need Max Headroom as the technical expert. posted by leotrotsky at 2:23 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
The novel takes place over a few years' time, starting in '89, but yeah. posted by shakespeherian at 2:23 PM on April 1, 2010
To those of you who are being picky about chronology:
griphus: Well, Moore features Virginia Woolf's Orlando (1928) throughout The Black Dossier and ancestors of James Bond (created 1953, probably "born" sometime between 1910-1925 in his fictional timeline) in other LoEG books, so I think we can say that the character just has to be associated with the era, or in the case of Bond's ancestors, somehow credibly shoehorned in. posted by Saxon Kane at 2:29 PM on April 1, 2010
...the perfect '80s villain is, obviously, that criminal mastermind Ferris Bueller, likely disguising himself as computer genius David Lightman, ostensibly recruited by the US government after the Cheyenne Mountain 'incident' posted by leotrotsky at 2:29 PM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
This lineup feels hollow without Buckaroo Banzai. posted by adipocere at 2:32 PM on April 1, 2010 [6 favorites]
Yes. Ferris Bueller. But he hires Hans Gruber for the dirty work. posted by brundlefly at 2:32 PM on April 1, 2010
What about Wanted Dead or Alive Rutger Hauer? Does no one love the '80s man-lair any more? posted by fairytale of los angeles at 2:32 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
Yes, Bueller himself is using the Lost Boys to enslave the physical world and the MCP is working with him to conquer the virtual one. Little do they know that Ferris has other plans after discussing it with a retired League captain, the wizened Dr. Jones. posted by The Whelk at 2:33 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
Buckaroo Banzai saves the day in the end, of course. posted by The Whelk at 2:34 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
Emilio Estevez has a flying Chevy Malibu. posted by Artw at 2:38 PM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
Snake Plissken Kurt Russell is from 1997, not 1988. 1988 was when Manhattan first got walled off in the Escape from New York timeline.
I bet you'd like us to believe that's a coincidence! posted by Kirth Gerson at 2:40 PM on April 1, 2010
No, no, not Bueller. Cameron, in a fever-dream. posted by bonehead at 2:40 PM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
Characters from this decade would have to show up via some kind of... hot tub time machine. posted by Artw at 2:42 PM on April 1, 2010
But how did MCP get such advanced technology? Obviously there must be an alien overlord. posted by benzenedream at 2:44 PM on April 1, 2010
You've also got Mike 'Crocodile' Dundee, Roddy Piper, 'Dirt'y Harry Callahan and a Capt. Ivan Danko
but with Pinhead, Matt Cordell, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers as villains plus sidekick Chucky and assorted Killer Klowns it'll be a tough fight...
Big Reveal? All started in motion by Weyland-Yutani stealing the flux capacitor and using the theory of many worlds to colonize the past to prevent their competitor, Tyrell from gaining a foothold in the future. posted by The Whelk at 2:47 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
As I've said elsewhere, the team would be incomplete without Manimal, Automan and Streethawk.
Knight Rider is already part of the LoEG universe. posted by Artw at 2:48 PM on April 1, 2010
Man April Fool's isn't great but occasionally it's awesome. posted by graventy at 3:02 PM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
Oh, c'mon, one of the best things about LoEG is how Brit-centric it is. Shouldn't it have Roger Moore's Bond, Sid Vicious, Condorman, Judge Dredd, and some commando from Who Dares Wins? posted by klangklangston at 3:22 PM on April 1, 2010
Count me among the legions who would, as one of the commenters says, pre-order the crap out of this book. posted by Faint of Butt at 3:23 PM on April 1, 2010
(In other comics april fools news, xckd is doing something special today. Try "make me a sandwich".) posted by Artw at 3:23 PM on April 1, 2010
klangklangston - The kids from Grange Hill. posted by Artw at 3:23 PM on April 1, 2010
John McClane would have a tough time with Leonard Smalls.
But you have Raymond Babbit running numbers and Mark Hunter running communications (naked, wearing a cockring).
I think they could beat Skeletor and his army of Gremlins.
...As soon as that guy with the red alien super suit shows up. posted by Smedleyman at 3:24 PM on April 1, 2010
Oh, c'mon, one of the best things about LoEG is how Brit-centric it is. Shouldn't it have Roger Moore's Bond, Sid Vicious, Condorman, Judge Dredd, and some commando from Who Dares Wins?
It should have Dr. Who instead of Doc Brown, actually. posted by The World Famous at 3:24 PM on April 1, 2010
It should have Dr. Who instead of Doc Brown, actually.
In 1988? No. Really, nice thought, but no, not in that year. posted by Artw at 3:26 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
Sadly Gordon Gecko would have already been in jail. Possibly he could pull a Lex Luthor style escape. posted by Artw at 3:28 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
One of the many April Fool's jokes I'm sad is only that.
Hmm Gripper Stebson left the 'Hill in 85... shame posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:29 PM on April 1, 2010
McGyver walks into a dark and twisted wood all alone, he shouldn't be here but his mission demanded it. From behind him, a gloved hand touches his hard. A voice whispered.
Ah, yeah, '88? Obviously, my memory of Brit pop culture is based on when we got it, not when it came out (and also totally blinkered). posted by klangklangston at 3:31 PM on April 1, 2010
Count Duckula and Danger Mouse? posted by klangklangston at 3:37 PM on April 1, 2010
Personally, I think the Venture Brothers kind of went too heavy on the whole '80s thing in their most recent season. For me, it was always a satire of the false promises of the space age.
Still, I like how they let Hank and Dean get older. That kind of had to happen. posted by dunkadunc at 3:37 PM on April 1, 2010
Man, turns out 1988 was a really crappy year... posted by Artw at 3:38 PM on April 1, 2010
"I hate to break it to you but Sid Vicious was a real person."
That's not funny -- that would have been frickin' awesome -- as long as we are fantasizing out loud about the fabulous '80's, Crockett and Tubbs should have been included... posted by Alexandra Kitty at 3:40 PM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
We need to somehow make this happen, even if we write it and draw it ourselves. posted by empath at 3:40 PM on April 1, 2010 [5 favorites]
Lovejoys antiquarian pursuits could lead him into a story featuring his more sweary and violent ancestor from the 1800s. posted by Artw at 3:40 PM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
Man why can't I just print out this thread and use it as a resume "See! I have ideas and I work well with people!" posted by The Whelk at 3:40 PM on April 1, 2010
Weird Science Clay201 posted by The Whelk at 3:44 PM on April 1, 2010
Lovejoys antiquarian pursuits could lead him into a story featuring his more sweary and violent ancestor from the 1800s.
Actually if you sort of follow the trends of LoEG he'd be going into business with a certain family in Peckham... posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:49 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
I'm still back on the whole American Psycho/1991 thing. Now I just want to see a comic where Patrick Bateman fights The Dude and Walter (which would end quite badly for Patrick Bateman, as well it should). posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:09 PM on April 1, 2010
I was going to say Kryten from Red Dwarf, but also from the future. Dang. posted by Barry B. Palindromer at 4:24 PM on April 1, 2010
I propose that Moore do a 1988 'LoEG' featuring characters he worked on from 85-88.
Swamp Thing
Marvelman
V
Assorted characters from Watchmen
The Scary Eagle character from Brought to Light
If "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" is too Brit, make it "League of Extraordinary Dudes". posted by oneswellfoop at 4:32 PM on April 1, 2010
omg i accidentally wrote slash fic i have to go away now posted by The Whelk at 4:43 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
God DAMN it, I keep forgetting the date! posted by Michael Roberts at 4:47 PM on April 1, 2010
Lisa from 'Weird Science"
(I don't see Chet as a decent bad guy tho.)
Rawhead Rex perhaps.
Withnail, perhaps, for his driving and wine summoning ability. posted by Smedleyman at 4:47 PM on April 1, 2010 [2 favorites]
I had to look it up because I never saw the movie, but Lisa is the woman created by geeks in Weird Science. posted by Tacodog at 4:56 PM on April 1, 2010
Damn you, preview. posted by Tacodog at 4:56 PM on April 1, 2010
Buckaroo is a glaring admission, as pointed out above, but I think the team as listed has little experience in dealing with the supernatural. For the wholesale slaughter of the supernatural, you need to call Ash. posted by lekvar at 4:58 PM on April 1, 2010
Okay, I fell for this for a minute or so. But in my defense, it's no longer April Fool's Day here! posted by bettafish at 5:13 PM on April 1, 2010
Ally Sheedy can pick any lock with her sentient nanodandruff. And make it snow on drawings. posted by kuujjuarapik at 5:21 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]
Ash isn't a joiner. posted by The Whelk at 6:16 PM on April 1, 2010
Halloween Jack, I was going to ask how you could have Chris Knight but not Lazlo Hollyfeld. But then I realized you couldn't include him for dramatic reasons: the power imbalance between good and evil would be so great that the heroes would be victorious halfway through the first act.
As evidence of this I point out that in the original story Hollyfeld doesn't really get involved until the last act, and villainy's defeat follows quite swiftly thereupon. To write him in earlier would be to shorten the film almost by definition. posted by George_Spiggott at 8:37 PM on April 1, 2010
This entire thread is like a fan fic poetry slam.
And the original League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen isn't cause? posted by The Whelk at 8:42 PM on April 1, 2010
This is your old pal Jack Burton on the Pork Chop express, and let me tell you, when the winged mohawk don't like wings, the only way to ride is on a winged hog, and that's your's truly. Listen, I may not know a gigawatt from a jiggawatt, but the two big brains we got on board tell me once we get up to eighty five miles an hour, not only do we got to look out for Smokey, we got to look out for time itself to turn inside out. We got the duct tape, we got a girl who can make your worst nightmare come true and look damn good doing it, and now we're going after cokehead vampires. Don't wish me luck, I've seen things no man has seen, and done things no man has ever done. Say hello to my little friend, that blood-sucking drug dealer, and he better be reloaded by the time we catch up to him again, back in the future! posted by Slap*Happy at 9:01 PM on April 1, 2010 [4 favorites]
I wouldn't mind seeing a cameo from a 60-year-old Arthur Fonzarelli, who fixes the busted DeLorean by smacking it. posted by Strange Interlude at 9:13 PM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]
Jack: "Hey, is there something back there? What's in the trunk?"
Doc: "If you love your life, don't look in there!"
Jack: "Listen here, Jack Burton never hauled a cargo he didn't know what it was."
Doc: "Some things are best left unknown, Jack. Surely you know that by now."
Jack: "Well, maybe so. Where are we taking this thing anyway?"
Doc: "Home. It just wants to go home." posted by wobh at 11:19 PM on April 1, 2010 [5 favorites]
Do we know when the book after the 1960s book is supposed to take place? Moore could very well have plans for some of these characters.
The finale should take place in the Black Lodge. posted by painquale at 11:43 PM on April 1, 2010
I already have a sequel in mind, but surely the 1988 American equivalent would be The League of Awesome Dudes.
From his prison cell, Gordon Gekko masterminds his most audacious financial scheme yet: Hiring the former CIA operative-turned-cat burglar known only as Otto to kidnap the mathematical savant Raymond Babbitt and force him to aid Jonathan "The Duke" Mardukas's embezzlement from the Las Vegas mob to provide him with working capital, he secretly manipulates the merger and acquisition of Trask Industries and Metro Radio with the unknowing assistance of an ordinary secretary. It's up to the League of Awesome Dudes to investigate this plot and uncover Gekko's grand plan to create a rightwing-populist news media empire, which he's kicking off with a carefully orchestrated scoop to disclose the existence of a mysterious alien creature while actually serving as product placement for various corporations. The big reveal would be that Gekko is also an alien, part of an extraterrestrial conspiracy to infiltrate the highest levels of government and industry and control the ordinary population through subliminal advertising - and the deus ex machina would be a pair of Ray-Bans that reveal the aliens' true form, provided by a burly nameless drifter. posted by Doktor Zed at 5:39 AM on April 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
American Psycho was published in 1991.
But takes place in '89. Although there is a debate to be had in whether the character has to be associated with the era or created therein.
Agreed, George_Spiggott, Lazlo Hollyfeld is kind of like the Cosmic Cube of technology. He's got the cheat codes to everything. (I think that he was the real genius, as it were, behind the magic decrypting chip in Sneakers, which sadly is a 90s film.) posted by Halloween Jack at 6:35 AM on April 2, 2010 [2 favorites]
Halloween Jack, you just mashed up two of my most favorite movies. You wonderful lunatic, you. posted by Songdog at 7:17 AM on April 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
Lisa from 'Weird Science"
Smedleyman, thank you so much. Now I can finally eat breakfast and prepare for my day...
In a drunken stupor last night I contacted someone who I know has Alan Moore's address so I could write to the Wizard of Northampton himself to demand this happens... and the big fucking spoilsport refused to give it to me! Boooo!!! Booooooo!!!!! posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:08 AM on April 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
Do we know when the book after the 1960s book is supposed to take place?
Looks like the real LoeG is going to skip the '80's altogether, jumping from 1968 to 2008.
I am so glad that they thought of Lisa. It's been bouncing around in my head for far too long of the amount of trouble that she could get into after the movie. Teaming her with those other four, sheer fucking genius. Had this movie been made in 1990 I would have been willing to pay double ticket price, hell triple. posted by Ber at 12:27 PM on April 2, 2010
They resurrected Lisa for a TV show back on USA's UP ALL NIGHT bloc. The only thing I remember about it is that it was on before Duckman, which is what I really wanted to watch.
She was played by Vanessa Angel , who had a little moment of fame after Kingpin (wow, have those movies Not. Aged. Well. ) and that was it.
This has been The Whelk, your guide to the world of trivia. posted by The Whelk at 12:33 PM on April 2, 2010
John Ryder from The Hitcher.
Artw : Dude, Zatoichi Nick Parker from Blind Fury!
I was going to suggest Nick Randall from Wanted Dead or Alive, but the fact is that badass gun-slinging bounty hunter, cool as it is, doesn't hold a candle to a blind swordsman who simply wanders the earth, kicking ass as needed. posted by quin at 12:43 PM on April 2, 2010
Also just hit me, it came out in 1988 but takes place in the 40s. You could extrapolate out 40 years ....
which means our heroes get to visit Toontown. posted by The Whelk at 12:47 PM on April 2, 2010
This was awesome, until I looked at the page for 1968 and saw it wasn't being released until next year. Why couldn't that release date have been the prank? posted by Lentrohamsanin at 12:58 PM on April 2, 2010
which means our heroes get to visit Toontown.
Which means that the flesh-and-blood B.A. Baracus could accidentally run into his cartoon doppelganger and thus destroy the entire space-time continuum. Crazy fools!
I think it would be a good idea if the world of LoEG '88 obeyed the laws of Nickelodeon physics: Whenever a character says "I don't know," they get slimed. posted by Strange Interlude at 2:54 PM on April 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
Moore already did Toontown (more or less) in the '80's in In Pictopia.
posted by dunkadunc at 2:05 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]