July 17, 2001

7:04 AM

Teenage myths about contraception"Coke douches work and you can use crisp bags as condoms" and "Putting a watch around your penis before sex means the radioactivity of the dial kills off sperm."
Many more....
posted by nonharmful (31 comments total)

i didn't realize teens were that ignorant. tsk.
posted by tolkhan at 7:25 AM on July 17, 2001

I went to high school with a girl who thought the only time she had to take a birth control pill was right before she had sex.

I'm not kidding.
posted by shauna at 7:26 AM on July 17, 2001

How did this girl get a prescription for birth control pills without getting explicit instructions on how they were to be taken? That sounds like a failure of the doctor, not the girl.
posted by Dreama at 7:39 AM on July 17, 2001

The Coca-Cola one's so old, my mom knew people who thought it worked. I'd love to know where the telephone directory idea comes from...part of me wonders if these kids weren't messing with the survey a little. I mean, come on. Keeping your eyes closed? Drinking? If alcohol was a contraceptive, a lot of people would never have children. The same idea applied to the one that states that you can't get pregnant if you don't have an orgasm.

Maybe I just hope they were messing with the survey. Looks like a job for a sex education teacher.
posted by Ezrael at 7:42 AM on July 17, 2001

> How did this girl get a prescription for birth control pills
> without getting explicit instructions on how they were to
> be taken? That sounds like a failure of the doctor, not
> the girl.

It's not all that uncommon for girls who believe this (I've heard it before) to swipe the occasional pill from their moms, replacing it with something similar-looking like a sweetener tab. Result: kid's pregnant, so's mom.
posted by jfuller at 7:58 AM on July 17, 2001

It's not all that uncommon for girls who believe this (I've heard it before) to swipe the occasional pill from their moms

Bingo. That's what my high-school friend was doing -- only her mom was going through menopause so she'd stopped taking the pills and didn't even notice any were missing.

If there are any huge fallacies about birth control (and there obviously are) I hold the parents largely responsible. My mom had the "birds and the bees" talk with me when I was about six, and the more adult "you can get pregnant even if ..." talk with me when I was about 12. That's when I learned that you CAN get pregnant the first time, that coke douches don't work, etc.

If the parents won't talk about it, then sex ed has to be mandatory at school. Period. Otherwise you have these kids teaching one another and that's like the blind leading the blind.
posted by shauna at 8:28 AM on July 17, 2001

The Coke douche also has it's male counterpart -- that putting an aspirin in her bottle of Coke will act like an aphrodisiac on your girlfriend. That one is so old that my father knew it in the 1950s.
posted by briank at 8:31 AM on July 17, 2001

Isn't sex ed mandatory at school?
posted by andrew cooke at 8:31 AM on July 17, 2001

One related by my biology teacher (as an example of the strangest one she'd ever heard). Kicking the girl in the stomach after sex. Why? Because it breaks the egg.
posted by Cuppatea at 8:31 AM on July 17, 2001

Isn't sex ed mandatory at school?

Depends on the school, Andrew. In the US, the puritanical thing is pretty bad -- I'm always hearing about parents lobbying the school boards somewhere to get sex ed "out of the classroom." The way those parents see it, it's their (the parents) job to teach it the way they see fit. Sex ed classes are often accused of "giving kids ideas" and actually encouraging them to have sex. Anytime a school starts handing out condoms, you can hear parents' heads exploding from several states away.

The problem is that these parents are stupid enough to think if you don't talk to kids about sex, kids won't HAVE sex. Wrongo. Hormones work whether you "teach" them to or not.
posted by shauna at 8:39 AM on July 17, 2001

There's a lot of sex ed in American schools. Unfortunately, most of it is by other students who want their friends to believe they know something about the subject. Taking sex ed out of the classroom just moves it into the locker room, restrooms, hallways, etc.
posted by harmful at 8:49 AM on July 17, 2001

I know a girl who only took her pill before sex. She now has a 10 year old son.

A friend once told me about a girl she knew who took her pills vaginally, and then wondered why she was pregnant.

How can people be so stupid. There are *directions*...wouldn't you want to read the directions for a pill that you're going to be taking for a long time?

These are cries for mandatory sex ed. in school. Educate the kids, and let them decide for themselves.
posted by melissa at 8:51 AM on July 17, 2001

Re: COCA-COLA as a contraceptive? How the hell is the guy supposed to get Coke in that tiny little hole???

Oh. Never mind.
posted by davidmsc at 9:01 AM on July 17, 2001

My mom had the "birds and the bees" talk with me when I was about six, and the more adult "you can get pregnant even if ..." talk with me when I was about 12

my father had 'the talk' with me a couple of months before my 16th birthday. it went something like this:

"If you get a girl pregnant, you're on your own."

i smiled and said, "I won't, dad."

that was it. he was a little late and discussing the wrong gender though. not an effective (or necessary) talk, i'd say.
posted by tolkhan at 9:04 AM on July 17, 2001

The only sex ed I had in school was in grade school. High school didn't even touch the subject. And the sex ed I did get focused on the "morality of sex". Yep, you guessed it, Catholic school all the way through grade school and high school... No wonder they say Catholic school girls are easy... I honestly think that teaching kids about sex thoroughly would ease the curiosity and possibly lower teen pregnancy even without passing out condoms.
posted by srw12 at 9:34 AM on July 17, 2001

I had a talk with my mom when I was like 11-12, can't remember exactly. It went something like, "you use a condom, or have her use a sponge, or make sure she is on the pill, or you'll end up having a kid........ but then you like broadway musicals, so I am probably just wasting my time worrying about pregnancy. Just use a condom."

Wasn't quite sure what she meant. A few years later, it hit me. Very perceptive, she was.
posted by benjh at 9:36 AM on July 17, 2001

but then you like broadway musicals, so I am probably just wasting my time worrying about pregnancy.

Yeah, I've found that nothing kills my desire for sex faster than listening to a couple of Rodgers and Hammerstein scores.

"Ooooooklahoma where the wind comes racing down the plaaaaain!"

You'd have to be superhuman to maintain an erection after listening to that...
posted by MrBaliHai at 9:43 AM on July 17, 2001

Yep, you guessed it, Catholic school all the way through grade school and high school... No wonder they say Catholic school girls are easy...

I also attended Catholic school for all of my pre-post-secondary education, and I had many graphic slides and talks and movies about hair in curious places. Different school boards, different schooling.
posted by cCranium at 10:08 AM on July 17, 2001

You'd have to be superhuman to maintain an erection after listening to that...

Forget Oklahoma -- what about Carol Channing singing "Hello Dolly?"

Visuals optional, though not required.
posted by lia at 10:11 AM on July 17, 2001

Visuals optional, though not required.

Visuals optional, end of sentence. Dammit.
posted by lia at 10:12 AM on July 17, 2001

Coke douches work and you can use crisp bags as condoms

Really, couldn't they come up with something a little more comfortable than a crisp bag as a condom, especially for the receiving party? Not to mention the salt factor.
posted by witchstone at 10:27 AM on July 17, 2001

what about Carol Channing singing "Hello Dolly?"

lia, I'm at work, and was in a fetal postion whimpering at the thought that.
posted by tj at 10:32 AM on July 17, 2001

I remember the sex ed in High School.

"You can be batting nine hundred and still hit a pop fly every now and then."
posted by witchycal at 10:41 AM on July 17, 2001

The funny thing is the spin on the Sex Ed issues in the US. Um... did I miss something, or was this an article at the BBC about UK kids? And from my limited understanding, sex ed in the UK is fairly standardized/universal. So there's still something missing, here.
posted by silusGROK at 10:55 AM on July 17, 2001

These poor kids. Hasn't anyone told them about oral sex?
posted by Skot at 11:13 AM on July 17, 2001

"If you drink a lot of alcohol you won't get a girl pregnant." If only this were true. If anything, drinking alcohol usually increases your chances. Atnother good one is, you can't get pregnant your first time.
posted by 120degrees at 11:27 AM on July 17, 2001

what about Carol Channing singing "Hello Dolly?"

One of the most effective cures for premature ejaculation known to humanity...

Howzabout Yul Brynner in drag singing "Mad About the Boy" to Roman Polanski?*

*-"The Magic Christian" by Terry Southern.
posted by MrBaliHai at 11:41 AM on July 17, 2001

Different school boards, different schooling.

Actually srw12 and I went to the same schools, I remember the moral stuff in grade school but I also remember a more graphic talk in high school.

Then again I might just have mixed up memories involving my older brother's stash of pr0n that I found.
posted by Mick at 1:22 PM on July 17, 2001

sex ed in the UK is fairly standardized/universal.

More so now, with the National Curriculum. When we had our two weeks of "reproductive biology" (I kid you not) at the age of 14 -- so, 1987/8 -- it was essentially "these are the bits, this is a baby being born, don't have sex." Catholic school, see: no contraception, nothing that wasn't hetero and missionary. Taught by a middle-aged woman with a permanent "rabbit in headlights" expression.
posted by holgate at 1:33 PM on July 17, 2001

on the other hand, this could be a clear explanation for why the british lost the empire...
posted by elsar at 2:49 PM on July 17, 2001

It's not like I am doing it in the balcony while the musical is going on, damnit. And besides, I was 12.

And while I still enjoy a good broadway musical thats at least semi-current ("Rent", "Evita", "The Producers") it by no means turns me on. Sheesh.
posted by benjh at 7:32 AM on July 18, 2001