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What's your problem?
July 17, 2001 2:11 PM   Subscribe

What's your problem? Find out just how screwed up you are with this handy test of common personality disorders. (thanks to evhead.)
posted by moz (57 comments total)

 
First Post! Histrionic and Narcissisitic with a pinch of Obsessive-Compulsive for flavor. Now, if you fleebs will excuse me, I have to go turn the light on and off exactly 4 times :)
posted by UncleFes at 2:29 PM on July 17, 2001


Some of these questions...

Do you consider your needs to be more important to you than the needs of others?

Well, um, yeah. I think that's called self-preservation.
posted by fidelity at 2:29 PM on July 17, 2001


Paranoid and Narcisstic. But you probably knew that already, didn't you? I'm so fantastic you just like to spy on me! :)
posted by owillis at 2:31 PM on July 17, 2001


Narcissists all around! We should form a club or something.
posted by UncleFes at 2:32 PM on July 17, 2001


Nothing spells Internet like paranoia and narcissism.
posted by fidelity at 2:36 PM on July 17, 2001


Narcissistic and histrionic! In an actor? WHAT?

You gotta be fucking kidding me! Why do things like this always happen to me?

This is the worst thing that's ever happened, ever!
posted by Skot at 2:39 PM on July 17, 2001


so which question has the most weight?

i bet it's 'what gender are you?'

/me snickers.
posted by jcterminal at 2:40 PM on July 17, 2001


So I'm schizo (both types), o/c, and moderately avoidant - sounds like an accountant to me. At least I'm not as messed up as the rest of you loons. :)

I was expecting more questions like:

"Do you find yourself spouting expletives at random intervals?"
"Do you twitch a lot?"
"Do you eat gravel?"
"Do you enjoy the sound of tearing paper."
"Do you ever curl up into the fetal position and cry 'mommy, mommy'?"
"Do you ever feel like you are of your gender, trapped in the psyche of the opposite gender, trapped in a body of your own gender?"
posted by OneBallJay at 2:40 PM on July 17, 2001


Schizoid and Narcissitic. Which would make a great band name.
posted by gsh at 2:41 PM on July 17, 2001


"Do you twitch a lot?"

How much is a lot?

I think I just twitch a little.
posted by UncleFes at 2:42 PM on July 17, 2001


very high schizoid, paranoia, & nacissism! But I bet you all knew that already, didn't you! I can hear you all mocking me, you just wish you as perfect as me!
posted by zeus at 2:42 PM on July 17, 2001


Lawful good. Oops, that's a different personality test. Guess I'm kinda schizoid, then, eh?
posted by msacheson at 2:51 PM on July 17, 2001


The only Low score I got was on Schizoid, and the info there says: "People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion."

One of my three Highs, on the other hand, was Obsessive-Compulsive, and the info *there* says: "They often have difficulty expressing emotion."

Conclusion: this test is pap and hokum. But fun pap and hokum!
posted by Sapphireblue at 2:54 PM on July 17, 2001


Narcissistic, avoidant and obsessive-compulsive. See, the rest of you would know just how great I am, if I wasn't busy avoiding you....
posted by Oriole Adams at 2:55 PM on July 17, 2001


Schizotypal & narcissistic, thank you very much. Apparently I'm a psycho and nobody can understand anything I say but that's OK -- the world revolves around me, not you, so I think you all need to go ahead and wrap an orange extension cord around your wagon wheels, 'cause this potato is speedwalking in plaid pajamas.

And you know I'm right...
posted by spilon at 2:57 PM on July 17, 2001


Antisocial and Narcissistic. That must explain why I prefer to stay home by myself and whack it.
posted by ColdChef at 3:03 PM on July 17, 2001


Paranoid, schizoid, histrionic, narcissistic, avoidant, with moderate antisocial and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. There are so many things wrong with my brain, they practically cancel each other out and leave me normal.

Best question: "Are you quiet in social situations, often out of fear of saying something stupid?" Hoo boy.
posted by kindall at 3:03 PM on July 17, 2001


not too many dependents out there.
posted by moz at 3:06 PM on July 17, 2001


Woo, paranoid/antisocial. I guess this means I'll wind up holed up in a cabin in the woods someday, with a mountain of canned goods and assault rifles.
posted by darukaru at 3:07 PM on July 17, 2001


please tell me someone else got a 'very high'. ack.
posted by jbelshaw at 3:26 PM on July 17, 2001


I'm just too good for my own good... low on just about everything. But what's up with this "Avoidant" thing? Maybe only in the offline world.
posted by silusGROK at 3:29 PM on July 17, 2001


I think the question should have read:
"have animals accused you of being cruel to other people?"
That would probably be a more accurate assessment of your sanity.

I, by the way, managed to score Moderate or High on everything except AntiSocial...I majored in Schizoid with a double minor in narcissism and paranoia.

The site would be more fun if at the end of the test it said things like "Whoa! You are a major wackadoo!"
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:05 PM on July 17, 2001


[not too many dependents out there]

They're not allowed to use the computer until they clean their room.
posted by revbrian at 4:13 PM on July 17, 2001


Holy Jeezum Christ Almighty, I'm abso-freakin'-lutely batshit insane! Nurse! Meds!!!
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High
posted by hincandenza at 4:15 PM on July 17, 2001


Come to think of it, maybe I'll call in "Avoidant" for work tomorrow.
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:16 PM on July 17, 2001


I'm a dependent obsessive-compulsive. I really need for all of you to approve of me going to wash my hands right now. . .
posted by Dreama at 4:19 PM on July 17, 2001


Low on everything except histrionic (high) and narcisisstic (moderate).

I've often wondered where my histrionic tendencies come from - everybody else in my family is completely down to earth and matter-of-fact. I used to write a lot of stories when I was a kid - really far out stories. 'Ooh, he's got such a wonderful imagination,' teachers and parents would say. It was one of my few sources of positive reinforcement - smart fat kids just got the crap kicked out of them in my neighbourhood.

I think I just extended this into the 'real world'. Take an ordinary or slightly interesting event, put a spin on it, and suddenly it was remarkable, and what's more, it happened to you, so you were somehow remarkable. Other kids were less likely to smash you if you told good jokes and interesting lies.

These lies were never malicious or hurtful - they simply served to entertain. I remember reading a book by Edward de Bono in which he talked about an Italian (?) phrase (which escapes me at the moment) to the effect that some stories weren't true, but they should be. Maybe I should move there :)
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:32 PM on July 17, 2001


I got low on everything except histrionic (moderate).

Of course, it could just mean I'm in denial.
posted by soundslikequiet at 4:44 PM on July 17, 2001


jbelshaw, if it makes you feel better, I rated 'very high' for paranoia, and high for antisocial. And, uh, moderate on everything except borderline. I'm an analyst's dream case.
posted by darukaru at 4:56 PM on July 17, 2001


schizoid obsessive-compulsive. but I knew that already, because I've read everything Laing ever wrote on the subject, dammit!
posted by holgate at 5:07 PM on July 17, 2001


I'm highly narcissistic, and moderately paranoid, histrionic and obssessive-compulsive. So, I'm convinced that I'm better than all of you, I'm afraid you're all talking about that fact behind my back, I barge in to the conversation to make sure I'm the center of attention, and tell the same story four times to make sure you all understood every nuance of what I meant. After checking to make sure I have my keys at least 3 times.
posted by jennaratrix at 5:08 PM on July 17, 2001


Question: Do you engage in any obsessive or compulsive behavior?

I just got so carried away with clicking "yes", then "no", then "yes" then "no" then "yes".......
posted by davehat at 5:18 PM on July 17, 2001


Damn. I feel so sane. I was really hoping to find myself being completely insane.... Hmmm... Now that I think about it, that fits pretty well with my "diagnosis".....

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

according to this, at least.....

"Histrionic
People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative."

Heh heh.
posted by Espoo2 at 5:21 PM on July 17, 2001


wow you people really are screwed up. it wasn't just my imagination all these years...

seriously though, 2 observations:

1. you have to love this question: "Do you tend to lie a lot?"

2. They have HTML code so you can add it to your weblog/journal. I understand when people do this for things like moods, but for personality disorders? I guess it appeals more to the journal crowd.
posted by chaz at 5:28 PM on July 17, 2001


Two best posts so far:

the world revolves around me, not you, so I think you all need to go ahead and wrap an orange extension cord around your wagon wheels, 'cause this potato is speedwalking in plaid pajamas.

and

I just got so carried away with clicking "yes", then "no", then "yes" then "no" then "yes".......

Both had me laughing so hard I startled my office mate.
posted by jennaratrix at 5:32 PM on July 17, 2001


I scored High and Moderate in Avoidant and Histrionic respectively... now.. eheh how can that be...?? "Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety." "People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers." I am one wacked up individual. I'm glad to join the crowd... but I think I'll go yell for attention from my little hole in the wall now.
posted by tsidel at 5:34 PM on July 17, 2001


Low on everything. That just ain't right. I mean, I'm pretty damn anal... you'd think that would warrant at least a 'Moderate' obsessive-compulsive.
posted by Mrmuhnrmuh at 5:43 PM on July 17, 2001


Folks scoring 'moderate' for a particular disorder should keep in mind that this rates you as 'unlikely' to have it. You need highs and very-highs to get the jacket that ties up in the back.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 6:24 PM on July 17, 2001


lordy
posted by clavdivs at 6:45 PM on July 17, 2001


Wow, aside from being "very high" in the paranoid department and "high" in the schizoid department, I'm a pretty normal guy after all. Shocking. I want my money back. I'm a freak, goddammit!
posted by ed at 6:59 PM on July 17, 2001


Low: Paranoid, Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, Narcissistic, Dependent
Moderate: Obsessive-Compulsive
High: Avoidant
Very High: Schizoid, Schizotypal
posted by gluechunk at 7:10 PM on July 17, 2001


So it's bad to be Very High in more than 6 categories?
posted by fnirt at 7:34 PM on July 17, 2001


i scored high or very high for everything but paranoid, schizoid and oc.

stay away from me, it's for your own good :)

funny thing is, i was sure i'd be paranoid. maybe i lied with my answers because i figured they'd be logged.
posted by titboy at 7:41 PM on July 17, 2001


Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

I'm thinking instead of scholarships, there needs to be a MeFi Mental Health Fund. (And hey, if these are our scores, just imagine what Debbie Swenson's must be like!)
posted by headspace at 7:49 PM on July 17, 2001


Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Aren't I a barrel of monkeys.
posted by physics at 8:24 PM on July 17, 2001


Low: Paranoid, Schizoid, Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic
Moderate: Histrionic, Schizotypal, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive
High: Avoidant

Me? Avoidant? (walks away)
posted by heather at 8:39 PM on July 17, 2001


Hey now! I'm a high histronic, and moderately paranoid and borderline!

HEY! EVERYBODY PAY ATTENTION TO ME! LOOK AT ME AND THE WONDERFUL THINGS I DO...

Oh, my God, no one's answering. Maybe everyone thinks I suck, and you're all talking about me behind my back...

...or maybe I'm really Heather.

HEY! PAY ATTENTION TO ME, I'M ACTUALLY HEATHER...

:D
posted by metrocake at 9:25 PM on July 17, 2001


Just the highlights...


Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Very High
Schizotypal: Very High
Borderline: Very High

Borderline what though?
posted by fullerine at 12:20 AM on July 18, 2001


Low: Antisocial, Borderline, Dependent
Moderate: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal, Narcissitic, Avoidant, Obsessive-Compulsive
High: Histrionic

What the -- me? Histrionic? I'M NOT FUCKING HISTRIONIC!

Oh.
posted by lia at 4:15 AM on July 18, 2001


heh chaz, I also had a giggle at do you see everything in black or white; yes or no.

davehat, if you were really obs/compulsive you'd have checked yes but then gone back 400 times to make sure.

Put me down as moderately entertained by the test but very highly amused at some responses in this thread (yes fellow histrionics Im talking about you).
posted by spandex at 4:28 AM on July 18, 2001


Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

What are you looking at?
posted by allaboutgeorge at 4:42 AM on July 18, 2001


Does obsessive-compulsive have a hyphen?
posted by mac at 6:35 AM on July 18, 2001


;-)
posted by mac at 6:36 AM on July 18, 2001


Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

I'm avoidant only cuz I did this test at work. :)
posted by melissa at 7:40 AM on July 18, 2001


histrionics are the best storytellers, baby.

and dammit, this test thinks I'm so much more well-adjusted than I really am. :P
posted by rabi at 8:18 AM on July 18, 2001


High Paranoid, High Schizotypal. Geez, I'd have thought I was a freak if it weren't for all of you guys even more messed up than me. So are we all insane or none of us?
posted by hazyjane at 8:38 AM on July 18, 2001


I had this dream that I met a really cute woman who flirted with me. Then she discovered I was ParisParamus and she lost her interest. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
posted by ParisParamus at 9:01 AM on July 18, 2001


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