What was that?! I don't know, but it was something fast.

April 7, 2010 9:26 PM

Did you know how slow you run?
posted by cashman (67 comments total)

Pretty amazing how fast jacoby ford is...
posted by mert at 9:34 PM on April 7, 2010

You never really get a perspective on how fast the really fast runners are. Thanks!
posted by flippant at 9:43 PM on April 7, 2010

That was fun. Now I'm curious how I'd measure up. Probably slower than the dude in the suit.
posted by chimaera at 9:45 PM on April 7, 2010

For some reason, I thought I'd followed this link from fark.com, and I thought "I bet folks on MetaFilter would love this!" Then I hit the back button. [sad trombone]

Hilarious.
posted by davejay at 9:45 PM on April 7, 2010

That's cool. I run horribly slowly but I make myself feel better about it by saying beep beep zip dang in between gasps for air.
posted by jamaro at 9:56 PM on April 7, 2010 [5 favorites]

Even though I didn't get the Tebow faceplant that I was hoping for, I enjoyed that video a great deal.
posted by chiababe at 9:57 PM on April 7, 2010

Carl Lewis in 1992 ran 100m in 8.8 seconds (25.43 mph)

The guy in the suits top speed wasn't too bad but it's like he had to use 24 gears to get there.
posted by zephyr_words at 10:03 PM on April 7, 2010

Rich Eisen has done this for years, continuing to prove how awesome he is.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 10:19 PM on April 7, 2010

I stood on the sidelines of many NFL games, and I never got used to the speed and the sounds. TV doesn't do it justice, and even the referees are in great shape. It's just unreal when you get up close. And the sounds! You never get over how hard they're hitting. You wonder how they get up after each play.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:26 PM on April 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

Meh. What’s more insane is the speed of Marathon runners. 135 minutes, folks. Count ‘em.

At my fitness peak a couple of years ago I got passed by some elite runners and I initially thought they were joking or had some small dick ego problem and wanted to burn me for a few hundred meters [morons often do these things happen on running and bicycle paths].

But after watching them disappear into the horizon… Nope, that’s their normal speed.

Another related tale: A few years back there was a charity fun day type deal which was basically Perth’s football team [Eagles] vs. our basketball team [Wildcats] doing various challenges.

One was to have a number of team members on a treadmill set at world record Marathon pace. Again, I initially thought it was a joke – that they doubled the speed for a laugh. But not so. The speed long distance runners can maintain for well over two hours is just mind boggling.

I think our elite footballers were gone in less than 5 minutes. Basketball pussies in less than half that time.

ps: I liked the suit. Great touch.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:35 PM on April 7, 2010 [4 favorites]

morons often do these things happen on running and bicycle paths

Don't ya hate it when ya change a sentence and ya don't re-proof read it properly. Gah.

And the sounds! You never get over how hard they're hitting. You wonder how they get up after each play.

I was mere meters away from a, ahem, "play" where a Geelong AFL player broke his leg due to a standard looking hit.

"Keee-RACK!"

I was chuckling to myself when the pack broke up and he was grovelling on the ground on his hands and knees with a stupid look on his face. I didn't realise it was such a major injury at the time.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:43 PM on April 7, 2010

I wanted some footage of predators in there...

VERSUS CHEETAH!
posted by Scattercat at 10:44 PM on April 7, 2010 [7 favorites]

Kinda reminds me of this.
posted by bwg at 11:04 PM on April 7, 2010

compared to the average out of shape joe, that guy in the suit is a world class athlete. he maintains a four minute mile pace if only for 100 m. remember, as you watch this, that the guy in the suit is running faster than you probably do in a full out chased-by-a-lion sprint.
posted by 256 at 11:07 PM on April 7, 2010 [4 favorites]

None of those guys are as fast as Usain Bolt.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 11:11 PM on April 7, 2010 [8 favorites]

Jacoby Ford is scary fast, but I'm pretty sure I could take him in a Sitting-On-The-Couch-Eating-Pop-Tarts-A-Thon. Frosted or unfrosted, his choice. Bring it, Ford. You're going DOWN!
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:29 PM on April 7, 2010 [11 favorites]

slowly.
posted by sanko at 11:35 PM on April 7, 2010 [2 favorites]

None of those guys are as fast as Usain Bolt.

Yes, but how fast will Usain Bolt be able to run after taking years and years of hard hits from safeties and linebackers like the guys shown in the video?
posted by gyc at 12:05 AM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

None of those guys are as fast as Usain Bolt.

Few people are.
posted by Hicksu at 12:25 AM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

Wow that's really slow. If Rich Eisen was in Zombieland he'd be done for.
posted by Plug1 at 12:26 AM on April 8, 2010

he maintains a four minute mile pace if only for 100 m.

This is worth seconding. The treadmills at my gym only go up to 10 mph (4 minute mile = 15 mph) and if you go that fast, everyone stares at you to wonder why you're sprinting like that. These NFL players are hitting the 18-19 mph mark - to imagine running after these guys, imagine trying to chase a reasonably fit person who is on a bicycle.
posted by 0xFCAF at 12:29 AM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

None of those guys are as fast as Usain Bolt.

Yes, but how fast will Usain Bolt be able to run after taking years and years of hard hits from safeties and linebackers like the guys shown in the video?
posted by gyc at 12:05 AM on April 8 [+] [!]

Usain's world record 100m time resulted in an average speed of 22.8 mph.
The Titans' Chris Johnson ran his 40 averaging 19.2 mph.

3.6 mph.

Now I guess we know what the toll from taking hits from guys like this on a regular basis is.
posted by basicchannel at 12:59 AM on April 8, 2010

Hicksu: "None of those guys are as fast as Usain Bolt.

Few people are."

Currently, no one is.
posted by bwg at 1:02 AM on April 8, 2010 [2 favorites]

I went to grad school at the University of Oregon in Eugene. I often rode my bike in to school (early!) in the morning along the river at what I considered to be a brisk rate. One morning I heard footsteps gaining on me from behind and was shortly passed by Mary Decker. She was not breathing anywhere near as hard as I was and I'm pretty sure she ran a lot further than I biked that morning.

For the record, I was not wearing a suit.
posted by skyscraper at 1:26 AM on April 8, 2010 [11 favorites]

Some of us are built to run prey to death. Some of us are built to run herd animals over cliffs.

And some of us are built to fly fish.
posted by paulsc at 2:33 AM on April 8, 2010 [3 favorites]

This kind of brings home why slow motion is used in most replays in the NFL. Otherwise, we just wouldn't really see the play clearly.

Can the Bears have this Jacoby Ford person? Please? We'd be happy to give you, say, uh... Damn. We've really got no one you'd want. I'll be over here, weeping, if you need me.
posted by Ghidorah at 2:34 AM on April 8, 2010

I'm know greenscreening is pretty low tech, but even with the boxy edge around it I thought the effect they got looked pretty neat.
posted by Evilspork at 2:57 AM on April 8, 2010

I was a caddy in a pro-am foursome with Calvin Peete at the time when he was winning everything.

You just don't appreciate the quantum leap up in skill that pro athletes represent until you are standing right next to them as they effortlessly nail a drive that flies about a hundreds yards like a cruise missile a few yards off the ground before it even starts the upward part of its trajectory.

Things like this are why I always chuckle inside when some blowhard is relating how they were almost pro something.

BTW: Calvin Peete was way cooler than tiger woods can ever be. Even his caddy was strange - no shoes!
posted by srboisvert at 4:19 AM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba!
posted by pracowity at 4:39 AM on April 8, 2010 [2 favorites]

Yes, slowly. But my heavy right foot comes in handy when I drive my car. I'm also very fast when I cycle downhill.

Plus, I can count up to 20 without having to remove my socks and shoes, unlike many pro sportsmen. So there.
posted by MuffinMan at 4:53 AM on April 8, 2010

hahaha brilliant - i love the way the cody dude ducks his head at the "finish line"

i read recently that the UK over 60 100 m record is 11.5 seconds, so there is hope for us oldies yet...
posted by marienbad at 5:25 AM on April 8, 2010

Rich Eisen is terrific. I always look forward to it when he guest hosts the Dan Patrick show.
posted by kbanas at 5:34 AM on April 8, 2010

Usain's world record 100m time resulted in an average speed of 22.8 mph.
The Titans' Chris Johnson ran his 40 averaging 19.2 mph.

3.6 mph.



Comparing Bolt's avg. speed over 100M to Johnson's over 40M is not the way to get a true comparison of the two. World class sprinters don't hit their top speed until the 50 - 60 meter mark. Johnson never hits his top speed in a 40, and his avg. speed takes a huge penalty because a higher proportion of his short run is spent accelerating from zero. I have no doubt that Bolt is faster, but I also have no doubt that Johnson's top speed or his avg. speed over 100M would be much closer to Bolt's than you are suggesting.
posted by gimli at 5:36 AM on April 8, 2010 [3 favorites]

the guy in the suit is running faster than you probably do in a full out chased-by-a-lion sprint

I don't have to outrun the lion. I just have to outrun Rich Eisen.
posted by Ian A.T. at 5:42 AM on April 8, 2010 [4 favorites]

For those who don't know, the "Mount Cody" they are talking about, the guy who ran almost as slowly as Eisen, is 6'5" and 360 pounds.

BitterOldPunk, I have a feeling Mount Cody could pretty easily take you at both the 40 yard dash and the Sitting-On-The-Couch-Eating-Pop-Tarts-A-Thon.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:08 AM on April 8, 2010

I'm also very fast when I cycle downhill.

100kph fast?
posted by Kiwi at 6:11 AM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

Rich Eisen's a great sport to subject himself to this, and he had to run a lot more than any of the other guys. I love the one where he and Mal Cody (?) get a five-yard head start and Jacoby Ford blows by them both.

Also, Eisen's 40. Tebow and Ford are 22. The ESPN A2 was closer in age to those guys and quite a bit faster than Eisen, so it'd be closer if he raced the football guys, but not nearly as funny.

Jacoby Ford ran the 40 in 4.126-seconds in prep school, which is quite a bit better than the 8.8 I clocked about 10 years ago. (I'm older than Eisen.)
posted by kirkaracha at 6:20 AM on April 8, 2010

Is it me or does Ford not look that much faster than Tebow? Eisen is at the thirty when Tebow finishes and at the 25 or so when For finishes.
posted by oddman at 6:30 AM on April 8, 2010

Ford ran a 4.28 and Tebow ran a 4.54 or something, so yeah, not that much difference.
posted by cashman at 6:44 AM on April 8, 2010

That's the thing. Tebow's got all kinds of athletic talent. He just does all kinds of extra stuff when he throws the ball. I'm no scout, but if you look at film of him throwing, even a guy like me can see his arm goes way down to his hip as part of his release.

That's why it's kind of a dilemma. Do you take the skills and hope you can coach the stupid out of his passing motion??

And of course it's really not about the skills. It's about the poster boy part of it. If he wasn't Tim Tebow, they'd move him to another position or pass him over before (insert down home expression here)
posted by Trochanter at 6:51 AM on April 8, 2010

Well duh. 21-year-old Eisen would also kick present-day Eisen's ass. I'm not saying these guys aren't hella fast, of course.

Speaking of the whole "you don't know realize what amazing athletes they are until you see them up close" thing, I was on the glass for a Flyers–Pens game when Jagr was playing–simply amazing. These guys flip that stick around like it's a fencing foil while skating at freeway speed. Unreal.

Also, yeah, elite distance runners are freaky. I remember warming up for the Broad St. Run (10 miles) and seeing a couple of the Kenyan guys also warming up... they jog like I sprint.
posted by Mister_A at 7:03 AM on April 8, 2010

Also, on 40 times: .25 or .3 sec in a 40 is a huge difference. If you look at receivers, for instance, it's the difference between adequate speed and give-the-guy-a-10-yard-cushion speed.

The funny thing about the combine is, though, it's such a lousy predictor of success in so many ways. Jerry Rice was probably never the fastest guy on the field after high school. Mark Bavaro couldn't jump high enough to dunk on a Nerf hoop. I think the most important and probably least well-measured skill in the NFL is balance. Guys with great balance kick ass at every position. A DE with good balance will be able to get under or around blockers at speed, and so on...
posted by Mister_A at 7:08 AM on April 8, 2010

Can the Bears have this Jacoby Ford person? Please? We'd be happy to give you, say, uh... Damn. We've really got no one you'd want. I'll be over here, weeping, if you need me.

Even in an imaginary universe where the Bears had any useful draft picks whatsoever, the last thing they need is another fast midget wide reciever. Offensive line is the ticket, people. The Bears need an offensive line before anything else will work.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:09 AM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

I have heard of this "running" thing. I do not believe that it exists. The video is a forgery. I plainly saw the pixels.
posted by Splunge at 7:24 AM on April 8, 2010

At least Eisen didn't do this.

March 15 was LSU's pro day. Among the festivities, the media members were invited to participate. We arrived at 8:30 to run the 40, do bench reps of 95 pounds and test our vertical jump. The big story was my boss, Derek Ponamsky of Bayou Bengals Insider.com, pulling his hamstring, then falling and breaking his collarbone while running the 40. & It shocked everyone, from the media to coach Les Miles. It was simply stunning.

-- Jay Potter, Staff Writer, Bayou Bengals Insider
posted by otio at 8:00 AM on April 8, 2010

And some of us are built to fly fish.

That's a very nice fish.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 8:06 AM on April 8, 2010

I really liked the Eadweard Muybridge effect at the end of that.
posted by interrobang at 8:08 AM on April 8, 2010

compared to the average out of shape joe, that guy in the suit is a world class athlete
are you joking? he hit a high of just below 26km/h. he couldn't outsprint a treadmill.

Pretty amazing how fast jacoby ford is...
yes. he is good.
posted by krautland at 8:32 AM on April 8, 2010

I'm haunted by the repeated image of a man in a business suit running, chased by ghosts as other ghosts scroll into view behind him.
posted by Nelson at 8:50 AM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

None of those guys are as fast as Usain Bolt.

Hicksu: "Few No one alive and possibly no one who as ever lived people are."
posted by Bonzai at 9:02 AM on April 8, 2010

(Arsenio), you're right. I wouldn't dare challenge Mount Cody. I watched him block those two kicks in the Alabama/Tennessee game. The kid weighs 360 pounds (and I think that's a charitable assessment) and he can dunk a basketball. He's a freak of nature who's going to be a force in the NFL. (Plus he's a genuinely charismatic guy; whatever team gets him gets a PR boost along with his athletic skills.)
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:13 AM on April 8, 2010

So I'm working in the basement one day and my wife comes home and says "There's a sheep in the yard." Wha? And indeed, I go outside and in the corner of the yard is a sheep. An actual, live, fully-grown sheep. With wool.

We (my wife and I..and the sheep and I...and the wife and the sheep) gape each other for a while and make tentative noises about calling animal control when a truck drives up with some people (a family?) in it. "Oh yeah, that's our sheep. It got loose from the truck." Wha?

So one of the sons(?) and I start sneaking up on the sheep to try to corral it. Sadly, our cats aren't trained as sheepcats and couldn't help, so the sheep got loose and started running down the street. I started running after it but was losing ground (to a sheep, remember). Then I hear a whoosh sound and the other guy goes zipping past me, taking like one stride every 3 meters. He looked just like those Olympic Kenyan runners. It was amazing. And discouraging.

And I don't even know if they caught the sheep.
posted by DU at 9:13 AM on April 8, 2010 [4 favorites]

The NFL has a really good set of videos on the combine workouts. Lots of good info, like that they measure 10/20/40 yard times, and certain positions the 40 yard time doesn't matter but the 10 yard does.
posted by smackfu at 9:30 AM on April 8, 2010

But after watching them disappear into the horizon… Nope, that’s their normal speed.

I used to run with Kip Keino's son, Bob. Kip was one of the first of the wave of Kenyans that burst on to the scene in the late 1960s and completely changed the sport of long-distance running. Bob had evidently inherited a lot of his running genes from his father. Before each practice, our coach would give everyone on the team a map with our training route on it. Everyone but Bob. Bob got his own training course. Bob's course was twice the distance of everyone else on the team. And he would still beat the rest of the team back to the gym... Every. Single. Time.

Running with—or god help you, against—someone with these kinds of natural abilities isn't just humbling. It's down-right stupefying. Their pace was our sprint. More entertaining than watching Bob distance himself from the starting line was watching him at the finish line. One time I was sick and couldn't run, so I stood at the end and helped cheer our teammates on. Normally runners would be out-of-breath, clutching their chest or torso… people often threw up. But not Bob. Bob crossed the finish line and then just stood there. No panting. No throwing up. The early morning humidity was literally steaming off his body. But the thing that really gets me is, even though he was a great runner, I don't think he ever made the Olympic team—as incredible as he was, there were probably runners that left him saying, "Holy shit!"
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:55 AM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm slow in more ways than one. I just realized that everybody only ran once and they superimposed the other guys.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:04 AM on April 8, 2010

RE: Bolt, from this Esquire profile:

Ethan Siegel, a theoretical astrophysicist at Lewis & Clark College, recently charted a graph to demonstrate that, judging by the incremental progression of the 100-meter world record over the past hundred years, Bolt appears to be operating at a level approximately thirty years beyond that of the expected capabilities of modern man. Mathematically, Bolt belonged not in the 2008 Olympics but the 2040 Olympics. Michael Johnson, the hero of the 1996 Olympic summer games, has made the same point in a different way: A runner capable of beating Bolt, he says, "hasn't been born yet."

posted by AceRock at 12:27 PM on April 8, 2010

compared to the average out of shape joe, that guy in the suit is a world class athlete. he maintains a four minute mile pace if only for 100 m. remember, as you watch this, that the guy in the suit is running faster than you probably do in a full out chased-by-a-lion sprint.

are you joking? he hit a high of just below 26km/h. he couldn't outsprint a treadmill.


There were kids in my elementary school running that fast on their stubby little legs.

I think maybe that guy in the suit is your average out of shape joe would be more accurate.
posted by skinnydipp at 12:32 PM on April 8, 2010

Meh... a number of team members on a treadmill set at world record Marathon pace. I think our elite footballers were gone in less than 5 minutes. Basketball pussies in less than half that time.

Is anyone surprised that athletes whose sports require loads of different skills (ball handling, shooting, defending, strategy, spacing, teamwork, etc) and physical abilities (hand-eye coordination, acceleration, explosive movements, lateral movements and change of direction, strength, power, agility, jumping, etc) are not as good at one thing -- long distance running -- as uhh long distance runners?
posted by AceRock at 12:54 PM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

Ford ran a 4.28 and Tebow ran a 4.54 or something, so yeah, not that much difference.

That is a huge difference.
posted by P.o.B. at 1:15 PM on April 8, 2010 [2 favorites]

I feel like the people who are saying "Marathon runners are fast" and "4.28 and 4.54 aren't that different" and trying to compare 40m to 100m times do not actually understand running.
posted by schroedinger at 4:43 PM on April 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

Is anyone surprised that athletes whose sports require loads of different skills (ball handling, shooting, defending, strategy, spacing, teamwork, etc) and physical abilities (hand-eye coordination, acceleration, explosive movements, lateral movements and change of direction, strength, power, agility, jumping, etc) are not as good at one thing -- long distance running -- as uhh long distance runners?

Nope. But elite footballers only lasting 5 minutes? Sheesh. Aerobic fitness is a massive part of an AFL players' job description. And to quote Civil_Disobedient above, the treadmill pace was absolutely stupefyingly fast.

Given, it was a charity fun day... I can't remember where they were at with fitness [break? pre season? regular season?]... but it did look like they were trying.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:08 PM on April 8, 2010

Watching this clip made me feel like I was listening to those annoying morning DJs that think their material is so hysterical that half the airtime is just them laughing at their own jokes.
posted by gern at 10:30 PM on April 8, 2010

The NFL has a really good set of videos on the combine workouts
I don't understand or know anything about american football but that guy, whom I don't know either, was very interesting to watch. absolutely the kind of person I'd just listen to for a while just because he seems to have interesting stories. thank you for the link and if you have more please do share.
posted by krautland at 4:43 AM on April 9, 2010

That is a huge difference.

I feel like the people who are saying "Marathon runners are fast" and "4.28 and 4.54 aren't that different" and trying to compare 40m to 100m times do not actually understand running.

Sorry, I guess I just meant in sheer time amounts, for regular folk. I was basically just saying it wasn't like Jacoby ran at 4.2 and Tebow ran a 6.2.
posted by cashman at 5:58 AM on April 9, 2010

I don't understand or know anything about american football but that guy, whom I don't know either, was very interesting to watch.

That's Mike Mayock; he played safety for the New York Giants in the early 80s. He also does Anatomy of a Play with Greg Cosell, where they do comprehensive breakdowns of big plays, like this one from the Super Bowl. I played football through high school and have been watching it for years, and I learn a lot from the show. It's a more intricate and complex game than it usually gets credit for.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:49 AM on April 9, 2010

Sorry, I guess I just meant in sheer time amounts, for regular folk. I was basically just saying it wasn't like Jacoby ran at 4.2 and Tebow ran a 6.2.

No worries. I don't think people understand, on an overall spectrum, how quick, fast, or explosive other people can be. It's just a plain unawareness of how finely tuned some people can be and how that translates into realtime reactions. In terms of physical attributes regardless of ability, size, weight or whatever generally put themselves into a "normal" category, but there really isn't a normal category. I'm not saying that on a an overall spectrum most people wouldn't fall into a "normal" category, but rather that you would need specific metrics to find out what norms you would fit into. Besides that, people also think there is somehow huge amounts of time to act or react to what is happening around them and in most instances that just isn't the case. Factoring in the slowness of reacting to something, when you add in the speed with which people can produce the a proper response to it, it just doesn't cover it.
posted by P.o.B. at 11:55 AM on April 9, 2010

Watching this clip made me feel like I was listening to those annoying morning DJs that think their material is so hysterical that half the airtime is just them laughing at their own jokes.

The guy cackling in the background is Deion Sanders, one of the fastest men to ever play in the NFL. Maybe that explains why he is finding footage of his coworker Rich Eisen getting torched so amusing.

Still might be annoying to you. Personally, I think this clip is hilarious, but I'm also obsessed with football.
posted by nathancaswell at 9:25 PM on April 13, 2010