July 18, 2001

8:24 AM

There was not a cloud in the sky. Scary things afoot near Hartsville, TN. Electric bulbs light in your hand. Birds fried by electric surges midflight. Mysterious police dressed in black. Blown out transformers. And -- a Bigfoot.
posted by jfwlucy (16 comments total)

Why, oh why would you include the Bigfoot quote? It makes the rest of the story look like hokum.

Still, I really appreciate all those pictures of burned birds. I am especially glad that I brought baked chicken to work for lunch today. Nope, won't be thinking about *those* while I am eating, I can tell you that.
posted by ColdChef at 8:48 AM on July 18, 2001

Read the article:

A gentleman who is a relative to an owner of a local grocery establishment claims to have seen a Bigfoot near the nuclear plant.

Sounds like someone with a hatred for country music got his hands on some kind of EMP weapon.
posted by skallas at 8:58 AM on July 18, 2001

It was about then that the Duke boys realized what they was up against...

Railgun totin' sasquatch. And ornery ones at that.

Will Boss Hogg's plans for global domination be fulfilled?

Will Cooter's electromagnetic gravity-drive engine work?

Will Daisy's cutoffs survive premature re-entry?

Let's sit back and watch the fun!
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:05 AM on July 18, 2001

Holy cow. I almost wet my pants because of Kafkaesque's post. That is funny.

An interesting article. Tune in next week to see if anybody exists out there, or if they become unpeople.

Where are Moulder and Scully?
posted by a3matrix at 9:20 AM on July 18, 2001

someone's been experimenting on civilians with a large-scale microwave weapon... ::subtlely glances at the u.s. military:: wonder who.

Where are Moulder and Scully?

probably searching for a correct spelling of Mulder. alright, j/k... sorry, had to.
posted by lotsofno at 10:06 AM on July 18, 2001

Tell me that decades of in-breeding had nothing to do with this. Please tell me.

(sorry...that was neither nice nor called for...[hangs head in mock shame])
posted by davidmsc at 10:27 AM on July 18, 2001

creepy.

Here's another interview with basically the same information. (via unknown news)
posted by rebeccablood at 10:32 AM on July 18, 2001

C'mon, there's gotta be an Ananova article on this...
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 10:36 AM on July 18, 2001

"xeaphon, fetch the long rifle. "Ksque. have not laughed so hard in months. I was hopin for a great line after i heard this on artbell. hat is off, thrown. 'nothing funnier then a man chasing his own hat.'
posted by clavdivs at 12:19 PM on July 18, 2001

Any story that includes "silent black helicopters" ought to put everybody's bullshit alarm into action. You know, radio stations will do just about anything to attract attention.
posted by briank at 12:36 PM on July 18, 2001

Thanks to Art Bell, Linda Howe, Whitley Strieber...

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING !!!!! BS detector.

Is it friggin' aliens or the friggin' government? Make up your mind.

Y'know, we're still throwin' rocks at the moon, inventing gods to explain nature. There's a power surge, but no thunderstorm. IT MUST BE ALIENS!
posted by jpoulos at 1:38 PM on July 18, 2001

I make it a standing policy for every unexplained event in my life, from "Who drank out of the milk carton?" to "Who abducted those 57 cows from my field and returned them with their jaws cut off with laser-like precision" to "How is the printer out of toner AGAIN?!".

Aliens did it! Either aliens or flying elves, anyway.
posted by Kafkaesque at 1:45 PM on July 18, 2001

i would pick an elf. they sing very well and could cover their tracks.
posted by clavdivs at 2:48 PM on July 18, 2001

Those pesky elves...better add another name to the list.

(stolen from the onion, of course)
posted by lardgrass at 6:12 PM on July 18, 2001

I actually heard Art Bell talking with the manager of the radio station about this last night.

Oh, god, I just admitted I listen to Art Bell.
posted by Doug at 9:17 PM on July 18, 2001

it is o.k. we understand, everyone likes theater, even bad theater
posted by clavdivs at 8:37 AM on July 19, 2001