Tom Hanks vs Mattress Factory! War of 1812 vs Wally Cleaver!

April 15, 2010 10:03 AM

The Most Awesomest Thing Ever. The Most Awesomest Thing Ever is scouring the universe for the Most Awesomest Thing. Ever. By endlessly pitting two things against each other, we’ve created a stage set for destruction. You will battle, winners will emerge. Only the strongest shall reach the hallowed halls of the Most Awesomest.
posted by shakespeherian (74 comments total)

They're going to have a hell of a time resolving the relative positions of rock, paper, and scissors.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:05 AM on April 15, 2010 [4 favorites]

I stopped when it asked me to choose Inglorius Basterds over a coaster. Couldn't choose.
posted by msali at 10:09 AM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

I had to stop at Watergate vs Alaska.

Also, I'm not sure the methodology is sound.
posted by DU at 10:11 AM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Let's just cut to the chase, declare The Muppets' version of Bohemian Rhapsody TMATE and then we can all go home (or trade recipes or something).
posted by marxchivist at 10:12 AM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Top results are for The Internet, Oxygen, Star Wars, bruce Lee, and A nap.

Sounds like yer average day around here.
posted by The Whelk at 10:13 AM on April 15, 2010

I think
Theory of Relativity > A Nap > Godzilla
indicates sound judgement on the part of the hivemind
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:14 AM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Keith 'Oberman' vs. Pantera

help me metafilter what do I choose
posted by threetoed at 10:17 AM on April 15, 2010

So... basically this with a crappier interface.
posted by kmz at 10:17 AM on April 15, 2010

What happens when 2 things suck equally?
posted by chillmost at 10:18 AM on April 15, 2010

The majority of the things they asked me about were not, in fact, awesome at all. It was sucky or suckier. So I'm dubious as to the usefulness of this site.
posted by Caduceus at 10:23 AM on April 15, 2010

tmf;de

(too much flash; didn't explore)
posted by JeffK at 10:23 AM on April 15, 2010 [5 favorites]

Good god that's addictive if you're lightly hungover and don't want to be paying attention in class.

Hypothetically speaking.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:25 AM on April 15, 2010

I had 'feces' versus John McCain.

I have still never voted Republican.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 10:26 AM on April 15, 2010 [8 favorites]

It gave me Bristol Palin vs Joe The Plumber
posted by rottytooth at 10:26 AM on April 15, 2010

Yeah, there's basically no more value on this site than if they just picked two dictionary words and asked which you liked to say more. Actually, that sounds dramatically better.
posted by disillusioned at 10:26 AM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

How is Dunston Checks In only 821st most awesome?!

Philistines.
posted by danny the boy at 10:28 AM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

They managed to hang me up on the very first one: Calvin & Hobbes vs. quesadillas. I simply cannot make that call.
posted by otolith at 10:28 AM on April 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

Judge Dredd vs. Apple (Company)

This game is hard.
posted by threetoed at 10:28 AM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Star Wars" currently ranks well above "Lightsaber (real)." There is no God.
posted by middleclasstool at 10:31 AM on April 15, 2010

Calvin and Hobbes >>> Quesadillas.

The real issue is Seppuku vs. Lasers. I think I'll have to go with lasers. For their potential.
posted by papayaninja at 10:34 AM on April 15, 2010

Ooooh, eerie foreshadowing in the Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody thread!

At some point some fool is going to attempt to make a heirarchy of all things which are cool in the universe, and they will discover soon thereafter that there is literally nothing cooler than the muppets, and that the rest of the project is kind of a pretentious waste of time.

posted by Navelgazer at 9:54 AM on November 24, 2009 [+] [!]
posted by HotToddy at 10:38 AM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Ronnie James Dio v. WNBA

Theme: things nobody watches.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 10:43 AM on April 15, 2010

I don't think 'awesomer' is transitive.
posted by painquale at 10:43 AM on April 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

At first I was pissed off with the goofy sound effects, but now I want to say that the set of goofy sound effects is the most awesome thing ever.
posted by the dief at 10:44 AM on April 15, 2010

Man, I loved What'sBetter back when it didn't make me watch a whole bunch of stupid loud Flash junk before I got to start picking things.
posted by Copronymus at 10:49 AM on April 15, 2010 [3 favorites]

Who are the 143 nutbars who voted against tamarins? What could you possibly prefer to itsy bitsy, teeny tiny monkeys?
posted by jrossi4r at 10:53 AM on April 15, 2010 [3 favorites]

I completely froze deciding between Rush (the band) and Cornhole (the game)
posted by Thorzdad at 10:54 AM on April 15, 2010

With David Bowie at 76 and cheese at 41, I think this is a fairly accurate representation of the world.
posted by kimdog at 10:57 AM on April 15, 2010

They're going to have a hell of a time resolving the relative positions of rock, paper, and scissors.

The answer is rock. Rock is more awesome both paper and scissors combined.
posted by fings at 11:02 AM on April 15, 2010

Snuggie vs. Europe.

Little help here?
posted by jquinby at 11:06 AM on April 15, 2010

Damn, 'fiberglass' seems to be the most awesomest.
posted by jquinby at 11:07 AM on April 15, 2010

I got stuck on Reading Rainbow vs. Peanut Butter Cups.
posted by troublewithwolves at 11:08 AM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Picking between The Chernobyl Disaster and Sarah Palin (yes, I really DID get that choice) was rough. I mean...most AWESOMEST?

Had to go with the Russkies.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:10 AM on April 15, 2010

That's easy, Thorzdad. Chernobyl was a real catastrophic disaster that threatened the world and whose full effects are still being determined.

Sarah Palin, for all her fame, is still only an unrealized potential.
posted by ardgedee at 11:19 AM on April 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

it's all going to come down to R2-D2 vs Ice Cream.
posted by sexyrobot at 11:19 AM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

As many have said here, the comparisons are random and meaningless. I got fiberglass versus the Boy Scouts. I suppose this is entertaining however, if you're age 15 or so.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 11:26 AM on April 15, 2010

Sigh. Again with the ontological argument. It's God, by definition.

Though I suppose its possible that Bruce Lee is God. Or that the Internet is.
posted by Naberius at 11:27 AM on April 15, 2010

I was having fun with it until the third click when it asked me to compare Field of Dreams to Harley-Davidson. I couldn't bring myself to click on either of them and closed the window.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:28 AM on April 15, 2010

In the end, it'll most likely come down to two things that nobody really thinks of as awesome, but that everybody just sort of tacitly agrees are awesome, just because—what the hell—we're on the Internet!
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:30 AM on April 15, 2010

Prayer vs. the Republican Party was my hardest choice.
posted by CaseyB at 11:40 AM on April 15, 2010

Clearly, it is the epidural, but I think the target audience for this will fail utterly to appreciate that.
posted by jfwlucy at 11:40 AM on April 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

I messed around with it a bit, but I was mostly keeping track of what the lowest rank thing I voted for was. So far, it's Singled Out.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:41 AM on April 15, 2010

It'd be nice if it gave the rank of the thing that didn't win as well, so I know if I help correct things or not.
posted by jeffamaphone at 11:44 AM on April 15, 2010

I suppose this is entertaining however, if you're age 15 or so.

Don't worry, you'll grow out of this attitude eventually.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:46 AM on April 15, 2010

Kirk Cameron vs Comb-over

AARRGH!!!!!
posted by arcticwoman at 11:49 AM on April 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

Hey guys, I’ve got a great idea:

Let’s create a website where we regurgitate ad infinitum an endless montage of unearthed cultural trivia from decades past with a twee, ironic spin, taking former pillars of celebrity (Burt Reynolds), historic political uprisings (Prague Spring) and juxtaposing them with incongruous and ubiquitous others (kittens). It will be instant blog hit!
posted by tiger yang at 11:56 AM on April 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

Egg Yolk vs. 2001: A Space Odyssey

tomato, tomahto.
posted by oddman at 12:03 PM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Risk (the Board game) versus Napoleon.

That is a wonderful juxtaposition, and I think the question should forever remain unanswered.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:04 PM on April 15, 2010

Jquinby - my results said that 'casserole' was the most awesomest. Mmm, casserole...
posted by koselig at 12:05 PM on April 15, 2010

We all know its going to be Tits, right?
posted by blackfly at 12:13 PM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Haven't we done this before? I mean, not necessarily this site, but hasn't there been a website (at least one) doing the exact same thing prior?
posted by klangklangston at 12:43 PM on April 15, 2010

Hey statisticians, what is wrong with this approach, exactly? I feel like there's too much randomness, and the scoring is too simplistic to produce meaningful results. But I'm not a number cruncher and I can't articulate why. What would be a better way to crowdsource sorting everything in the world by awesomeness?
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 12:43 PM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

jquinby, was Thing One the blanket with sleeves or the unpleasant hazing ritual of getting your underwear pulled up beyond where it should go? And was Thing Two the continent or the performers of Gob Bluth's favorite music?
posted by umbú at 12:48 PM on April 15, 2010

Kirk Cameron vs Mighty Morphing Power Rangers Movie

That is tough.
posted by empath at 12:50 PM on April 15, 2010

Is there a way to see the least awesome things?
posted by empath at 12:53 PM on April 15, 2010

I got Mr. Rodgers Vs. David Bowie.

I had to close the tab. I refuse to make that choice.
posted by The Whelk at 1:03 PM on April 15, 2010 [4 favorites]

Well, The Most Amazing Thing turns out to be....

[spoiler that will ruin your Apple IIe game playing experience, which will already be ruined when you find out the answer, which takes 40 hours of gameplay]

You!!
posted by blahblahblah at 1:07 PM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Uh oh: Super Nintendo vs. Obama
posted by spaltavian at 1:36 PM on April 15, 2010

It was the blanket vs. the continent. I went with the continent, since I have yet to see "EUROPE FOR DOGS" advertised.
posted by jquinby at 1:45 PM on April 15, 2010

I am upset NBA Jam doesn't rank higher.
posted by HabeasCorpus at 1:47 PM on April 15, 2010

Whoa. Apparently, according to The Most Awesomest Thing Ever, the winner, #1, top-voted Awesome Thing?

The Big Mac.
posted by misha at 2:10 PM on April 15, 2010

I didn't get past the MUST BE ON WIKIPEDIA part.
posted by kozad at 2:21 PM on April 15, 2010

My first choice:

Tiannemen Square protests of 1989 vs. Puberty

(strangely, like Joe the Plumber and Bristol Palin above, because of my age, these two things of questionable awesomeness are inexplicably connected in my brain)

There's a fun short story contest lurking somewhere on this site.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:22 PM on April 15, 2010

The "must be PG" clause severely limits the potential of the site. The top 5 at the least would be sexual.
posted by ryaninoakland at 3:37 PM on April 15, 2010

After my zillionth runthrough, I got the amusingly juxtaposed Scooby Dum vs. Ancient Rome.

It's almost as though the Scoobies in Thing One have just gotten a load of Romulus and Remus over in Thing Two, and are still in the process of deciding whether they're mutually grossed out or want to join in on the hot interspecies suckling action.
posted by Strange Interlude at 4:32 PM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Hey statisticians, what is wrong with this approach, exactly? I feel like there's too much randomness, and the scoring is too simplistic to produce meaningful results. But I'm not a number cruncher and I can't articulate why. What would be a better way to crowdsource sorting everything in the world by awesomeness?


In Psychometrics, this is a standard method: Pairwise Comparisons. But, who knows what they are using.
posted by naturesgreatestmiracle at 4:40 PM on April 15, 2010

Oh jesus Blago vs. McCain
posted by KathrynT at 5:06 PM on April 15, 2010

Bipartisanship vs. The Republican Party. Coincidence?
posted by Wordwoman at 5:28 PM on April 15, 2010

So like, really really awesome or really really "awesome"?

John Grisham vs Chopsticks.

I have no idea what books chopsticks has written or how John Grisham might be repurposed to serve as a utensil...
posted by Skygazer at 5:43 PM on April 15, 2010

Frank Zappa had the answer to this questions years ago, also motorcycles.
posted by alfanut at 6:47 PM on April 15, 2010

Kitty Pryde vs. Whiskey?

...bastards
posted by greenland at 7:03 PM on April 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Too good to decide: "LOL" vs. Chocolate

Too awful to decide: "Eliot Spitzer" vs. "Fish sauce"
posted by Ryvar at 8:08 PM on April 15, 2010

The Most Awesome Thing Ever is Paul Lynde. Game Over.
posted by Mael Oui at 8:38 PM on April 15, 2010

My liver is more awesome than Paul Lynde.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:50 PM on April 15, 2010