Eight Arms to Film You

April 16, 2010 11:27 AM

It suddenly dashed towards me and rips my shiny new camera from out of my hands, then swims off. Single link YouTube of an Octopus's directorial debut.
posted by Threeway Handshake (66 comments total)

Like many new camera operators, the octopus loses track of where the lens is, and wrecks his shot.
posted by graventy at 11:30 AM on April 16, 2010 [5 favorites]

And octopus gets like 6 thumbs in front of the lens.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:31 AM on April 16, 2010 [9 favorites]

I'm not sure I would've been so casual about giving the octopus a spear gun. I mean, sure, its aim sucks now, but they learn really fast, don't they?
posted by mordax at 11:36 AM on April 16, 2010 [26 favorites]

Love the music! Well done! Glad curiosity didn't kill the octopus. Or the footage, for that matter.
posted by dustypinata at 11:38 AM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Coming soon to a theater near you: Kleptopus!
posted by buzzkillington at 11:38 AM on April 16, 2010 [12 favorites]

but how did this end? how did he get his gun back? tell me he didn't shoot the amazing creature.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 11:39 AM on April 16, 2010 [4 favorites]

I think he moved the gun-wielding octopus into a stand of thick seaweed for it to grab onto instead, and it got the hint.

Also: OCTOCAM!
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:41 AM on April 16, 2010

Haven't we all, at some point, offered an octopus a spear gun ride?
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:42 AM on April 16, 2010 [28 favorites]

See, this is why I don't wanna be eating the octopuses. They're so great.
posted by dammitjim at 11:45 AM on April 16, 2010 [10 favorites]

Look, guy: This is a video of an octopus fitting through a one-inch hole. This video shows a nearly-invisible octopus changing it's colour like a chameleon.
Those things could be anywhere. Don't give them spear guns, for God's sake, you'll kill us all!
posted by mhoye at 11:45 AM on April 16, 2010 [15 favorites]

You think this is amazing? Wait 'til it turns up for sale on craigslist.
posted by griphus at 11:45 AM on April 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

Papparazzi calamari.
posted by Bummus at 11:46 AM on April 16, 2010 [5 favorites]

I just love these goddamn things.
posted by Ouisch at 11:47 AM on April 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

This may have been something to do with ambient light, depth in the ocean, white balance, etc., but it looked like the octopus started out blue-green and ended up red-purple.
posted by carter at 11:49 AM on April 16, 2010

Beautiful beautiful octopus!
posted by SLC Mom at 11:50 AM on April 16, 2010

The Elder Ones care not for your camera.
posted by jquinby at 11:51 AM on April 16, 2010 [7 favorites]

That Octopus went on to become Second Assistant Director for "SharkOctopus"!
posted by djrock3k at 11:51 AM on April 16, 2010

That octopus was clearly influenced by Stan Brakhage and Jean Painleve.
posted by Drab_Parts at 11:51 AM on April 16, 2010 [6 favorites]

That octopus seemed kind of angry!
posted by marxchivist at 11:53 AM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

+8 points for the title alone. It's good enough.
posted by Servo5678 at 11:53 AM on April 16, 2010

They're a lot like a 3-year old, annoying, stubborn and easily distracted by bright shiny things.

And just as with a 3-year old, you do not give them spear guns.
posted by tommasz at 11:54 AM on April 16, 2010 [13 favorites]

Squid + Octopus = death of us all.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:54 AM on April 16, 2010

This may have been something to do with ambient light, depth in the ocean, white balance, etc., but it looked like the octopus started out blue-green and ended up red-purple.

It probably has a lot to do with the WB, but they can change their colors.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 11:54 AM on April 16, 2010

The octopus is already a better director than Michael Bay.

WOO-HOO!
posted by Mister_A at 11:59 AM on April 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

Yo oc we heard you like to make movies so we put a camera in your tentacles so you can mis en scene while you swim the marine!
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:07 PM on April 16, 2010 [17 favorites]

[Regarding OctoCam, The Revenge (2010)]: I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the garden that it built, and it is terrific.
posted by benzenedream at 12:10 PM on April 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

That octopus was clearly influenced by Stan Brakhage and Jean Painleve.

Yes, I'd say he wears their influence on his sleeve.
posted by Houyhnhnm at 12:10 PM on April 16, 2010

posted by Drab_Parts That octopus was clearly influenced by Stan Brakhage and Jean Painleve.

I disagree. The octopus was clearly paying homage to Richard Linklater's ending of Slacker.
posted by mattdidthat at 12:11 PM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I think I just figured out the plot hook for The Gods Must Be Crazy 3.
posted by GameDesignerBen at 12:20 PM on April 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

they are trying to master our technology oh fuck oh fuck
posted by shadow vector at 12:22 PM on April 16, 2010

I'm kinda puzzled. If you're diving to film video, why the speargun? The dive cameras I've seen take two hands to operate, how do you manage the speargun?
posted by digsrus at 12:23 PM on April 16, 2010

The octopus realized the limits of the new media, and decided to stick to ink.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 12:24 PM on April 16, 2010 [19 favorites]

The music sounded so much like The Wedding Present that I was surprised that it wasn't by The Wedding Present.

Awesome video.
posted by ardgedee at 12:26 PM on April 16, 2010

The music sounded so much like The Wedding Present...

Spearguns: the hot new wedding present sweeping the nation.

Also available in "His and Her" sets.
posted by yeloson at 12:33 PM on April 16, 2010

Papparazzi calamari.

No, no, no! Calamari is made from squid.

There is evidence, though I can't say it is completely proved, that the octopus is a smart animal. I can tell you I've heard plenty of anecdotes from people who work with octopi in aquariums about their intelligence.

And that is why I eat calamari -- but never octopus.
posted by bearwife at 12:35 PM on April 16, 2010

That could not have felt more like a deleted scene from The Life Aquatic if it had tried. Love it - thanks for posting.
posted by xbonesgt at 12:42 PM on April 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

That was actually a Dogme 95 version of a buddy film, right? Well, except for that damn speargun, if you count it as a prop.
posted by maudlin at 12:42 PM on April 16, 2010

That was actually a Dogme 95 version of a buddy film, right? Well, except for that damn speargun, if you count it as a prop.

If we're talking buddy films, that speargun is more like Joe Pesci in Lethal Weapon 3 - wait, hold on, Joe Pesci was more of a prop than an actor in that film too.

/Likes Pesci, hated that role he was given. (I honestly believe that, but I also don't want an angry Joe Pesci with a speargun at my door this weekend.)
posted by chambers at 12:57 PM on April 16, 2010

Arrgh. Now how am I going to end my joke, "What's the difference between a MeFite and an octopus?" since "We have cameras" is no longer accurate.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 1:01 PM on April 16, 2010 [9 favorites]

Great stuff. What a beautiful and terrifying animal.
posted by WPW at 1:05 PM on April 16, 2010

I wonder if that same octopus will start taunting other divers for fun.
posted by homunculus at 1:18 PM on April 16, 2010

Octopuses are my new favourite animal of all time.
posted by sandraregina at 1:29 PM on April 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Aww, I love the playful octopus.
posted by misha at 1:30 PM on April 16, 2010

I never knew that Kure Kure Takora was based on actual events. Was there a giant butternut squash with this octopus, by any chance?
posted by kaseijin at 1:37 PM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Aww..what a nice octopus story.
posted by Skygazer at 1:39 PM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I saw that video last night on stuff and loved the song, so I tracked it down. It's by Dalmatian Rex and the Eigentones and it's called "Octopus I Love You". It's available to download from here.
posted by supercrayon at 1:49 PM on April 16, 2010 [6 favorites]

Thanks for the link supercrayon. I too was smitten by that song.
posted by rube goldberg at 2:19 PM on April 16, 2010

If you give an octopus a spear gun, he'll probably ask you to go hunting with him. He's not a very good shot, so you'd better wear your safety glasses.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:44 PM on April 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

By filming only itself in extreme close-up, the octopus shows with vivid alacrity that, indeed, all we can ever truly film is ourselves. We are all gorillas, endlessly drawing the bars of our own cage. In this gripping short subject, the classic hero’s journey has been supplanted by a brief series of jarringly discordant scenes, situations and setups. We are down the rabbit hole here, and what is on the other side? Nothing. Only ourselves, endless breathing and rebreathing the fetid cloud of our own sour scent.

Eight thumbs up, octopus. Eight thumbs up.
posted by kyrademon at 2:52 PM on April 16, 2010 [14 favorites]

This is why you should always write down serial numbers and IDs. If an octopus does successfully make off with your camera or laptop or bicycle, you'll want to keep an eye on eBay, to see if they try to sell it.
posted by steef at 3:44 PM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Another thought to disturb slumber: For an octopus to imprison a human, all it would need is a gate with 3 doorknobs.
posted by chillmost at 3:57 PM on April 16, 2010 [10 favorites]

Living here in Japan, eating octopus is kind of like eating pork: it's pretty hard to avoid. I was telling some of my Western co-workers yesterday that I don't like eating octopus because they're too smart. One of them kind of shrugged and said: "But they still get eaten."
posted by gc at 4:32 PM on April 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

I hear the octopus got a three-picture deal with Tri-Star and is now dating Jennifer Aniston. Word is Paramount is thinking of dumping J.J. Abrams in favor of the octopus for "Star Trek II".
posted by briank at 4:51 PM on April 16, 2010

Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 5:21 PM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I remember the first time an octopus stole my camera and I gave him a spear-gun ride. I think it's one of those deeply human experiences that we all share across all cultures, like getting the hiccups, or fighting a llama.
posted by Tiresias at 6:48 PM on April 16, 2010 [4 favorites]

I love animals more than anyone. I even think octopi are incredible and beautiful. But when that weird alien mouth all white inside opens up in the middle of that huge scrotal head I just want to go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

keep the f***in camera
posted by crazylegs at 7:33 PM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

When spearguns are outlawed, only octopuses (octopi?) will have spearguns.
posted by jcworth at 7:49 PM on April 16, 2010

I remember seeing a documentary about cephalopods where something vaguely analogous happened. Is one explanation for this octopus’s interest in the camera and speargun that it never, ever gets to see or touch anything that’s perfectly smooth like machined metal and plastic?
posted by joeclark at 9:20 PM on April 16, 2010

An octopus stole this person's wrench, but thanks to her LoJack® cuttlefish, she was able to retrieve her wrench. Don't let those octopus thieves get away with your valuables! Trust LoJack®!
posted by not_on_display at 9:20 PM on April 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

Fuck cuttlefish, man. That octopus was on the verge of discovering leverage, and wham! lunch. He could have built himself a little viaduct or something, but no. Cuttlefish are dicks.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 9:29 PM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Cuttlefish are dicks.

Right on, man.

Cuttlefish are the color-changing, hypnotizing, carnivorous, multi-limbed geese of the sea.

And few animals are as much of a dick as the goose. "Dick" is their genetic default setting, i think.

With ducks, however, you have at least a 15% chance that they'll be the best 'buddy' animal you could have, next to a dog. The rest just stand around, quack, poop, and try to keep out of your way.

With the octopus, every time I see them I think "Five more minutes, and he's going to figure out how to do us all in so he can just be left the hell alone for five minutes." Man, if they ever figure out what's going on, humanity is going to be screwed.
posted by chambers at 12:55 AM on April 17, 2010

I can't believe that Metafilter is supporting this.
I mean, didn't we go through this back with Reagan? No weapons for hostages!
posted by Lemurrhea at 6:34 AM on April 17, 2010 [3 favorites]

This is the best.
posted by Legomancer at 8:04 AM on April 17, 2010

I quit eating octopus last year after I saw that video of the octopus carrying a coconut shell to hide under. I just feel like if you're going to eat anything there are a lot of animals out there that don't have the brains to recognize the usefulness of a tool and carry it around and I really am not down with eating something clever enough to get that together. This video is just more grist for the mill of my self-righteousness. There's a lot of stuff I don't eat because I don't like it, but octopus is probably the only thing I don't eat just on principle. I kind of understand real vegetarians better now, because I really miss eating it sometimes.
posted by little light-giver at 11:34 PM on April 17, 2010

There's a bit of backstory here. I especially liked the quote,

Mr Huang had set out to record the wildlife and scenery around Wellington, saying Kiwis didn’t seem to truly appreciate what was on offer.

“You jump in to the water five metres from work and there’s an octopus,” he said.

Sigh. I miss Wellington.
posted by Sonny Jim at 6:42 AM on April 18, 2010

Just saw this on CNN. Metafilter to CNN lag time: 10 days.
posted by intermod at 12:36 PM on April 26, 2010