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Fish fly?
April 17, 2010 8:06 AM   Subscribe

Scott Stapp sings "Marlins Will Soar."
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates (44 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
what
posted by The Bridge on the River Kai Ryssdal at 8:12 AM on April 17, 2010


Christ, what an asshole.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 8:13 AM on April 17, 2010 [3 favorites]


Wow, that really, really sucked. Hard.
posted by weezy at 8:18 AM on April 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


My favourite part of the song is when he sings "Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?!"
posted by "Elbows" O'Donoghue at 8:18 AM on April 17, 2010 [9 favorites]


Boy, this one is tough. Hmmm...I'll go with "Blake quote" here.
posted by NoMich at 8:22 AM on April 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


Scott Stapp is a cartoon and I think we all know the caption.
posted by fleetmouse at 8:33 AM on April 17, 2010 [6 favorites]


an entire career built on a shitty eddie vedder impersonation. die already, music industry.
posted by TrialByMedia at 8:36 AM on April 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


i dont want to oversell this but it is the funniest thing thats ever been produced by mankind
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:37 AM on April 17, 2010 [8 favorites]


I'm so sorry, Marlins.
posted by starman at 8:38 AM on April 17, 2010


He's no David Hasselhoff.
posted by longsleeves at 8:47 AM on April 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's as if reality has merged with an SNL skit.
posted by O Blitiri at 8:51 AM on April 17, 2010


Askme: Great, my eardrums are bleeding. Now what? (more inside)
posted by MexicanYenta at 8:51 AM on April 17, 2010


Look guys, I just woke up and I'm still a bit tired and disoriented. I might need this explained. Is that really Scott Stapp, or someone doing an impression? Is he aware that fish generally don't "soar"?

Thanks.
posted by Kirk Grim at 8:51 AM on April 17, 2010


Marlins fans sore.
posted by christhelongtimelurker at 8:59 AM on April 17, 2010


Is he aware that fish generally don't "soar"?

they do if you throw enough dynamite into the water
posted by pyramid termite at 9:03 AM on April 17, 2010 [5 favorites]


Not a fan of Creed, had to look up Scott Stapp on Wikipedia to find out who he is. I wouldn't put it on my iPod (if I had one), but jeez, it wasn't that bad. I think some of the response here is just peer pressure driven piling on to see who can make the most favorited funny comment.
posted by Daddy-O at 9:04 AM on April 17, 2010


I don't get this.

Here's what I got so far: What am I missing?
posted by sveskemus at 9:10 AM on April 17, 2010



"Marlins Will Soar"

Let's play ball, it's game day
We watch strikeouts, base hits, double plays
Take the field, hear the roar of the crowd
Come on Marlins, make us proud
Come on Marlins, make us proud

Keep hoping and dreaming and you will soar
With a little faith and luck, you will soar

One strike, two strikes, swing away
A diving catch, a stolen base
A perfect game, a triple play
A [undistinguishable] play of praise
We're series champs, we [crack of bat?]

Keep hoping and dreaming and you will soar
With a little faith and luck, you will soar

Keep hoping and dreaming and you will soar
With a little faith and luck, you will soar
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 9:22 AM on April 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


"Marlins Will Soar"

...very good but you forgot, "To the tune of everything Creed has ever done"
posted by starman at 9:39 AM on April 17, 2010 [5 favorites]


Weeeeeth Feeeyush Wide OOOOOOPAAAAHN!
posted by Kirk Grim at 9:50 AM on April 17, 2010 [6 favorites]


What am I missing?

Scott Stapp once got sued by his own fans for sucking. Here he is singing a ridiculously overwrought anthem about the Florida Marlins with the same grave "sincerity" that he rought to singing about Jesus and the birth of his kids and everything. I don't want to dissect the joke or anything but this is simply just patently hilarious.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:02 AM on April 17, 2010 [8 favorites]


Is there a band more universally reviled than Creed?

There are millions of self-righteous and derivative bands out there. Hundreds have gotten radio airplay. Dozens have made hit records. But Creed is the most hated.

Creed is like the universal signifier for bad music.

I mean, don't get me wrong, Creed blows goats. I'm not defending them. But it's interesting how widespread the antipathy toward Creed runs. It cuts across normally impermeable boundaries of taste and class. Everyone hates Creed.

I wonder why?

*checks link*

Oh yeah. Scott Stapp. That's why.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:07 AM on April 17, 2010 [3 favorites]


WITHAAHZWAAAHHDDDOUPPPPUUUNNNNNNNNN
posted by fire&wings at 10:11 AM on April 17, 2010


BWAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!
posted by nosila at 10:12 AM on April 17, 2010


Also: I find it hard to believe that Trey Parker didn't make this. "YES! World series champs we'll BE!!!"
posted by nosila at 10:13 AM on April 17, 2010


more like "Marlins Will SORE" amirite?
posted by koeselitz at 10:24 AM on April 17, 2010


"Marlins Will Soar."

Stapp, on the other hand, will not, nor has he ever. This doesn't even have the weirdness quotient of Prince doing a theme song for the Vikings.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:29 AM on April 17, 2010


Court is in session,
verdict is in,
same as all the other Creed songs,
for the Florida Marlins.
posted by Senator at 10:42 AM on April 17, 2010


Q: Is there a band more universally reviled than Creed?

A: Nickleback
posted by bonobothegreat at 11:30 AM on April 17, 2010 [16 favorites]


Kind-of on topic...

Every Friday we have an hour-long colloquium where we have someone come give a geology talk for the department. It's nice, generally relaxed stuff but good for learning as well. Anyway, this Friday we had an alumni come in and he'd been working in Afghanistan with the army for the past few years and he was doing a talk on that. All of the posters advertising it said 'Soldier, Scientist'.

I wanted so badly for him to open the talk by playing this awesome song, and may have serenaded a few of my friends prior to the talk beginning.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 11:33 AM on April 17, 2010


Creed is like the universal signifier for bad music.

Well, exactly. It's like saying that the food at a restaurant tastes like shit. It doesn't mean that shit is the worst conceivable substance that can possibly be put into a human mouth. It's just shorthand for something vile and unpalatable.
posted by fleetmouse at 12:05 PM on April 17, 2010


Folks...this is truly a black day for baseball.
posted by HostBryan at 12:56 PM on April 17, 2010


Any thread about Creed must include this great story about Stapp and this video of Creed shredding.
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:01 PM on April 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


Can I also point out that this is on his own blog, "SCOTT STAPP'S BLOG", subtitled "Scott Stapp CREED". Here are some of the tags he chose for this post:

MLB Florida Marlins Scott Stapp CREED, scott stapp, Scott Stapp Images, Scott Stapp Marlins Will SOAR, Scott Stapp News, scottstapp creed scott stapp CREED SCOTTSTAPP

I think it's possible that Scott Stapp has some sort of recursive language disorder, or is perhaps a Pokémon.
posted by unregistered_animagus at 1:11 PM on April 17, 2010 [13 favorites]


With a little faith and luck, you will soar

so baseball has nothing to do with skill?
posted by desjardins at 1:17 PM on April 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


The best part about this song: the fact that he's completely serious about singing it, and that there is nary a trace of irony to be found.

The worst part about this song: the fact that he's completely serious about singing it, and that there is nary a trace of irony to be found.

Related: Scott Stapp bastardizes the national anthem
posted by andrewcilento at 1:28 PM on April 17, 2010


I think it's possible that Scott Stapp has some sort of recursive language disorder, or is perhaps a Pokémon.

Come to think of it, he does bear an uncanny resemblance to Bidoof.
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:12 PM on April 17, 2010


Yeah, I don't think Yo La Tengo will be covering this one any time soon.
posted by Spatch at 3:06 PM on April 17, 2010


bonobo the great beat me in saying "Nickleback." And there's a sentence that's never been typed before.
posted by Bookhouse at 3:18 PM on April 17, 2010


Anyone notice the Creed albums in the background? Classy touch.
posted by Lemurrhea at 4:03 PM on April 17, 2010


I think I've got to argue for Bibarel. I mean, say what you will about Scott Stapp, at least he has both arms.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 9:41 PM on April 17, 2010


Oh, so that's the voice that made me want to punch concrete every time I heard it in the 90s.
posted by dantsea at 1:26 AM on April 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


It gets better if you play every video on that page at the same time.
posted by mikesch at 9:49 AM on April 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


I was at the Marlins game on opening day for the debut of Marlins will Soar and Stapp singing the national anthem. The main crowd response was - Marlins don't soar, and WTF is up with that singing? Both songs were terrible, and the Marlins lost.
posted by trigfunctions at 11:23 AM on April 18, 2010


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