Charles Ain't No Longer in Charge

April 21, 2010 9:12 AM

1980s sitcom actor Scott Baio (who considers himself a 'Conservative' and a Constitutionalist'), along with his wife, has sparked an awkward battle with the website Jezebel. "Earlier this month, Mr. Charles in Charge released unto the interwebs a right-leaning tweet about finishing his taxes. Amused, the good ladies over at Jezebel included his missive in their daily roundup of ridiculous things celebrities say (in 140 characters or less). So far, so good, right? Wrong. You see, Jezebel did not include all the self-serving positive messages Baio sent out, and that, it appears, caused an irreparable rift in the Facebook-Twitter continuum. Enter wife Renee Baio..."

"...who posted this measured, much-researched and thought-provoking response on her Facebook page:

'F**kYOU Jezebel.com web rag!!!!! You bunch of FAR LEFT Lesbian shitasses!!!!!!! No wonder you're all lesbos because what man in his right mind could put up with your cuntness? Scott Baio has more class in his piss than all of you all!!!'

Not one to leave his wife to fight his battles, Baio classed it up on his Twitter page as well.

"Let's see if web-rag jezebel.com will post my Twt abt schools,service ppl, spec.needs kids & animal abuse? They sound like hypocrites 2 me!"

Charges of racism, mysogyny, homphobia and other online nasty weirdness have followed.

Jezebel: Scott Baio's Online Meltdown: A Complete Timeline

posted by ericb (221 comments total)

Urban Dictionary: Scott Baio.

Scott Baio Ruins Everything.
posted by ericb at 9:14 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Bob Loblaw lobs law bomb.
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:16 AM on April 21, 2010 [71 favorites]

We need to call in Joanie as a moderator. That should simmer things down.
posted by Kskomsvold at 9:16 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Please don't give any screen time to a boorish washed up has-been.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:17 AM on April 21, 2010 [21 favorites]

Just what is a "constitutionalist"? That esteemed document does not make the owning of slaves illegal...took some patching and fixing and adding on to change that. Is an anti-socialist one who makes sure his savings are not in a federally insured bank? Does not drive on federally funded highways? Gets medication from sources that need not meet standards of FDA? Sees no reason to pay taxes? Help me on this, please. I might become one of those people too.
posted by Postroad at 9:17 AM on April 21, 2010

People still read Jezebel?
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:17 AM on April 21, 2010 [7 favorites]

Where does Google Buzz fit in to all of this?
posted by fuq at 9:18 AM on April 21, 2010 [5 favorites]

Scott Baio's still alive?
posted by Nelson at 9:18 AM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

And I pay taxes for out of work, has-been actors. So it's all fair. Hooray.
posted by stormpooper at 9:20 AM on April 21, 2010

People still read Jezebel?

I saw this linked in a comment somewhere here yesterday. Made for an entertaining diversion.
posted by Kskomsvold at 9:20 AM on April 21, 2010

Rich, entitled celebrities: better or worse than a hereditary nobility? I'm starting to think worse.
posted by oinopaponton at 9:21 AM on April 21, 2010 [7 favorites]

Was Scott Baio Racist About Michelle Obama?
posted by ericb at 9:21 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

I don't like conservatism or "constitutionalists," but I do not like Jezebel either. OH NOES, INTERNETS, YOU HAVE BROKEN MY MIND!
posted by Afroblanco at 9:22 AM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

I, for one, am thankful that this critical exchange of information will remain preserved for all eternity in the Library of Congress for future generations to ponder and debate.
posted by briank at 9:22 AM on April 21, 2010 [56 favorites]

Bob Loblaw lobs law bomb.
posted by Saxon Kane

You can read about it on Bob Loblaw's law blog. Boy is he a mouthful.
posted by haveanicesummer at 9:23 AM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

"shitasses"

I've heard this incredibly awkward insult several times, and each time it was from a right winger. Where do they get this from?
posted by brundlefly at 9:24 AM on April 21, 2010

To be fair, Scott Baio does, in fact, have more glass in his piss than all of you all. Don't ask me how I know.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:24 AM on April 21, 2010 [6 favorites]

Well, she clearly knows from classy.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:25 AM on April 21, 2010 [4 favorites]

When I was in college there was this poet who wandered around Santa Cruz hitting all the open mics. He had some pretty filthy but pretty funny stuff. He called himself F. Scott Baio, and we all loved him dearly. I resent this interloper's attempts to besmirch that great man's image.
posted by Doublewhiskeycokenoice at 9:26 AM on April 21, 2010 [11 favorites]

*misogyny*
posted by ericb at 9:27 AM on April 21, 2010

I've only recently joined Jezebel and had been thinking the Baio/Jezebel feud would probably show up here, even though it doesn't really belong on the blue. It's just some idiot has-been celebrity shooting off his mouth and getting outraged because he gets critiqued and mocked. It's fun in a trainwreck, point and laugh kind of way, but it's not the best grist for the discussion mill. However, MeFites be pretty damn hilarious when they unite in ridicule, and we can't be super serious all the time, so have at it.
posted by orange swan at 9:27 AM on April 21, 2010

Wow, Renee sounds like a horrible person...but as a fellow potty-mouthed woman I have to give her some props for the overall offensiveness of that Tweet. *golf clap*
posted by JoanArkham at 9:27 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

This is like an epic trainwreck except I can imagine caring about trains.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:28 AM on April 21, 2010 [70 favorites]

The most surprising revelation to come out of this brouhaha is the fact Scott Baio pays income taxes, since his imdb profile wouldn't indicate he's earning much of an income to be taxed.
posted by The Gooch at 9:28 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

I don't like conservatism or "constitutionalists," but I do not like Jezebel either. OH NOES, INTERNETS, YOU HAVE BROKEN MY MIND!

Baio uses "emphasis" quotes. Tiebreaker resolved, match goes to Jezebel.
posted by explosion at 9:30 AM on April 21, 2010 [8 favorites]

I've been having a crumby day, and the expression "Scott Baio has more class in his piss than all of you all," has lifted my spirits. Thank you.
posted by sswiller at 9:30 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Scott Baio has more class in his piss than all of you all!!!

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! That's some classy piss!
posted by Greg Nog at 9:30 AM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

My favorite part is when Baio's wife responds "I have close friends of all color, sizes, religions, diff. political views,Special needs, & with or without animals."

The fact that in her list of "people who are different" she knows to show that she's a good person, the second thing she thinks of to write is SIZES?!?! I note also the curious absence of sexualities on that list, yet pet ownership FINALLY takes its rightful place along with color and creed. MLK would be proud indeed.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the existance of their terrier.
posted by haveanicesummer at 9:31 AM on April 21, 2010 [62 favorites]

Is that the woman he married on his reality show? Man, if anyone really needs to know what a low-down, cretinous, immature piece of shit Scott Baio really is, watching one or two episodes of that show will tell the whole story.
posted by absalom at 9:31 AM on April 21, 2010

The most surprising revelation to come out of this brouhaha is the fact Scott Baio pays income taxes, since his imdb profile wouldn't indicate he's earning much of an income to be taxed.

Perhaps he is endorsing pantyhose, like Joe Namath? Or doing skin flicks in Japan? Or...? oh, I got nothin', he's probably too busy twittering all day.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 9:31 AM on April 21, 2010

This is the internet version of a fistfight between baby-mamas on The Jerry Springer Show.
posted by sciurus at 9:31 AM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

Did anyone else think it was odd that in her FB post, Renee Baio censored "fuck" but wrote out "shitasses," "cuntness," and "piss"?
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:31 AM on April 21, 2010 [12 favorites]

since his imdb profile wouldn't indicate he's earning much of an income to be taxed.

He probably can't figure out how to navigate their insanely complicated update backend unaided, if he is doing something.

That being said, IMDB has more class in its piss than all of Scott Baio.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 9:33 AM on April 21, 2010

I've heard this incredibly awkward insult several times, and each time it was from a right winger. Where do they get this from?

I've heard U. Utah Phillips use is, humorously, and he was perhaps the furthest from a right whinger as you could get.
posted by edgeways at 9:33 AM on April 21, 2010

I miss Phillips
posted by edgeways at 9:34 AM on April 21, 2010 [6 favorites]

Goddamn you Renee Baio!!!!

(for making me lol)
posted by The Straightener at 9:34 AM on April 21, 2010

Somebody married Scott Baio?
posted by phaedon at 9:34 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

What a trainwreck. They seem a little unhinged. Not what I would have expected. They've also forgotten a cardinal celebrity rule: never argue with anyone who buys ink by the barrel.

I've never really paid much attention to Baio's various shows, but I do know that he and his wife set up a charity a couple of years ago, The Bailey Baio Angel Foundation. It provides financial support to families of children born with metabolic disorders. When Reneé became pregnant, she was initially carrying twins. One was lost at 11 weeks gestation to a miscarriage, but she carried the other (nearly) to term. Their daughter Bailey, born 5 weeks premature, was initially diagnosed with GA1 (Glutaric aciduria or acidemia, type 1) before subsequent diagnostics determined that the initial test had given a false positive. They chose to turn that experience into a positive way to help others, which I think is rather nice.
posted by zarq at 9:34 AM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

Our tax system punishes high achievers. Like Chachi.
posted by bonecrusher at 9:35 AM on April 21, 2010 [4 favorites]

Man, I always forget:
Which leg do you tie your bandana to to show that you're a Conservative?
posted by chococat at 9:36 AM on April 21, 2010 [6 favorites]

Did anyone else think it was odd that in her FB post, Renee Baio censored "fuck" but wrote out "shitasses," "cuntness," and "piss"?

One obscenity to rule them all, one obscenity to [censored] them.
posted by kittyprecious at 9:37 AM on April 21, 2010

Why do the far left lesbian shitasses at Jezebel always get all the attention.
posted by phaedon at 9:38 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

From Mrs. Baio: "True FACT: I have lesbian friends that couldn't be nicer. They are true loyal friends."

Shame they can't say the same about you.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:38 AM on April 21, 2010 [13 favorites]

Is cuntness a word? I think I much prefer cuntiosity or cuntitude.
posted by ColdChef at 9:40 AM on April 21, 2010 [14 favorites]

From Mrs. Baio: "True FACT: I have lesbian friends that couldn't be nicer. They are true loyal friends."

I'm pretty sure I heard somewhere that lesbians are only that way because they can't get a man. They're nice though.
posted by haveanicesummer at 9:43 AM on April 21, 2010

Churl's in Charge.
posted by Ratio at 9:44 AM on April 21, 2010 [12 favorites]

MetaFilter: Scott Baio has more class in his piss than all of you all!!!
posted by DU at 9:44 AM on April 21, 2010

Also: "Zapped!" has a very special place in my fantasy file. And for that, I forgive Mr Baio's sins.
posted by ColdChef at 9:44 AM on April 21, 2010

Scott Baio and Tony Danza to the Thunderdome. NOW.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:44 AM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

I imagine a Muppet vampire who is prone to insulting people: The Cunt.

"One, ONE shitass! Two, TWO shitasses! Ah-ah-ah-ah!"
posted by grubi at 9:45 AM on April 21, 2010 [44 favorites]

I've heard this incredibly awkward insult several times, and each time it was from a right winger. Where do they get this from?

Pretty sure it's a Southern thing, which "all of you all" confirms.
posted by DU at 9:46 AM on April 21, 2010

OH BAIO NO!
posted by The Whelk at 9:46 AM on April 21, 2010

brundlefly: "'shitasses'

I've heard this incredibly awkward insult several times, and each time it was from a right winger. Where do they get this from?"

Dooce
posted by klanawa at 9:46 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Is cuntness a word?

I think it is your title, as in "Your Cuntness." An individual bearing the title is expected to have cuntitude on a general basis, the objective amount of which is measured by their calculable cuntiosity. This is determined via a cuntometer, optionally hooked up to a cuntograph. You can learn more about this in the cuntometrics segment of most 101-level cuntology courses.
posted by griphus at 9:47 AM on April 21, 2010 [16 favorites]

"shitasses"

I've heard this incredibly awkward insult several times, and each time it was from a right winger. Where do they get this from?

It's derogatory because everyone knows asses aren't for shit, God made anuses for fingers, dicks and sex toys and not for pooping out of. Making a bowel movement is disgusting and has no place in civil discourse.
posted by fuq at 9:47 AM on April 21, 2010 [9 favorites]

Kind of bothers me that the way to insult any man is still to link his name with something that comes from the female body in that Urban Dictionary link.
posted by kanata at 9:48 AM on April 21, 2010 [5 favorites]

Wait, shitasses? That's an insult? See, when I take a shit, it does indeed come out my ass.

Better than having shit come out of my mouth, like the Baios apparently do.
posted by caution live frogs at 9:49 AM on April 21, 2010 [5 favorites]

Meh. Jezebel does kinda suck. Let the two attention whores fight it out.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:49 AM on April 21, 2010

I'm gonna need to hear from Ralph Malph or at least Potsie before I make up my mind on health care reform.

Those guys' piss's piss has more class than any three of Scott Baio's bodily effluvia. And that's measuring by weight, not volume.
posted by PlusDistance at 9:49 AM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

First time I heard 'shitass' was from a five-year-old. I was six.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:50 AM on April 21, 2010

I hear Fonzi's piss is so classy, it only drinks single-malt.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:51 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

You can learn more about this in the cuntometrics segment of most 101-level cuntology courses.

I remember learning this all quite cuntily.
posted by grubi at 9:51 AM on April 21, 2010

Wow. Just… wow.

Did she really say "shitasses"? In the article it says S--TASSES, which could mean a lot of things. Like… um… saltasses. Or sortasses. Maybe she was trying to write a complicated query to sort asses and forgot to left join to her pelvis? That would sure make me angry.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:52 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Wow - That's a storm in a teacup.

I think this boils down to

jezebel: grar.
Scott: grar.
jezebel: You're racist.
Scott: No you're racist.
jezebel: grar. grar. grar.
posted by seanyboy at 9:52 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

"Shitass" counds like one of those mutant insults you come out with when you're too angry to form words....like STUPID FUCK BAG! DICK ASSFACE!
posted by The Whelk at 9:53 AM on April 21, 2010 [19 favorites]

Kind of bothers me that the way to insult any man is still to link his name with something that comes from the female body in that Urban Dictionary link.

I thought it was supposed to be an analogy to Santorum, which was linked to something that comes from a male body.
posted by DU at 9:53 AM on April 21, 2010

Fuckin' Arcola.
posted by grubi at 9:53 AM on April 21, 2010

jezebel: grar.
Scott: grar.
jezebel: You're racist.
Scott: No you're racist.
jezebel: grar. grar. grar.

metafilter: shitass!
posted by The Whelk at 9:53 AM on April 21, 2010 [5 favorites]

DICK ASSFACE!

I'm pretty sure he's my congressman.
posted by grubi at 9:54 AM on April 21, 2010 [14 favorites]

Shitass is a perfectly good insult, people. Use it more.

SHITASS
posted by 23skidoo at 9:55 AM on April 21, 2010

Clearly they are not rich enough to afford a PR company any longer. Could you imagine the kind of awesome shenanigans we all would have had over the years for entertainment purposes if someone wasn't smart enough to invent PR? Note to Baios...THIS IS EXACTLY WHY PR REPS AND SPOKESPEOPLE WERE INVENTED FOR YOU'RE INDUSTRY - HIRE SOMEONE TO WRITE YOUR TWEETS.
posted by spicynuts at 9:55 AM on April 21, 2010

In case you're thinking to yourself, "Self, go easy on Mr Baio. You can't judge someone by a random tweet." Rest assured, you can certainly judge someone by who they follow on Twitter. (Seriously? Ralph Macchio has fourteen thousand followers?)
posted by ColdChef at 9:55 AM on April 21, 2010

This is sort of like when Metafilter picked a fight with William F. Buckley. Bon mots flew, witty retorts were made and it ended with Buckley calling us "shitass Harvard men."
posted by geoff. at 9:56 AM on April 21, 2010 [7 favorites]

What's the male equivalent of cuntness? Dickness? Penisness? Schlongness? Inquiring minds want to know.
posted by kinnakeet at 9:57 AM on April 21, 2010

I have not heard shitass as an insult since I was in fifth grade. This is not a bad thread, but for diehard twitter haters it can not compare to that one about the celebrity who was twittering about his legal case and had his parole suspended and got tossed back behind bars. That thread would have made my day. If I were a twitter hater. I swear I'm not. I don't get it but I do not hate you all.
posted by bukvich at 9:57 AM on April 21, 2010

I disagree with her my glass is full of piss these days.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:58 AM on April 21, 2010

Or did I misunderstand?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:58 AM on April 21, 2010

Let Tom Cruise show you how it's done.
posted by ColdChef at 9:58 AM on April 21, 2010

What's the male equivalent of cuntness? Dickness? Penisness? Schlongness? Inquiring minds want to know.

Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick of Earl.

i am a bad person
posted by The Whelk at 9:58 AM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

Is this something I would have to participate in the tawdriest, most superficial elements of western culture in a way that cheapens and demeans all of us to understand?
posted by mhoye at 9:59 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

WON'T SOMEONE THINK ABOUT WILLIE AAMES????
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:59 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

In the article it says S--TASSES

It took me forever to stop wondering "What are 'tasses?'" and understand what they were talking about.
posted by Obscure Reference at 10:00 AM on April 21, 2010

Scott's mad because his last name has too goddamned many vowels in it. He's hoping this story will make it to Boing Boing where they'll take care of that little problem for him.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 10:01 AM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

I vacillate wildly in how interested I am in gossip, celebrity stuff, etc. Sometimes it's a fluff, dumb, funny distraction. But when I read these public celebrity hissy fits, and this is not the first I have seen, I think these celebs come off like trashy teenagers. They snipe, they get into it - look in the twitter feed linked at these personal responses to people. I don't think it's possible to call others ignorant in these personal snipe fights in a way that doesn't make the speaker sound trashy. It seems to me as if there's this pressure to look up to celebrities - they certainly preach to us (remember Leo DiCaprio taking a private jet to an event where he spent time haranguing us lowly commoners to only run our dishwasher when full, or something like that?). But when it comes down to it, and I see their personal comments they've made not run through a publicist, they just sound...trashy. Dare I say it, like ignorant, spoiled teenagers with no experience in the world and little ability to cope as an independent adult.

Also, I link to and read Jezebel sometime, but they overdo it for my tastes. It seems that every mention of a woman or femininity is misogynist in their eyes, yet the obsession they've got with celebrity culture, with shopping and with decadent desserts makes me feel more pigeonholed than most non so-called-feminist blogs. That is, I feel like Jezebel assumes I have less intelligence and individuality than I am comfortable with. Sure, it's a a blog about those topics, I get it - but I can't reconcile the obsession with those topics and the feminist slant. They seem to try to do both in a way that just doesn't resonate to me as credible and has, over the years, grown less interesting.
posted by bunnycup at 10:01 AM on April 21, 2010 [7 favorites]

Why I won't use SHITASS as often:

FUCKSTICK > SHITASS
DOUCHENOZZLE > SHITASS
DICKBAG > SHITASS
posted by grubi at 10:02 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Let Tom Cruise show you how it's done.

Huh. Didn't know that guy was on twitter. Although, it seems like a semi-illiterate publicist's assistant is composing all of those and Cruise isn't allowed within 50 yards of a keyboard.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:02 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Do people really not get the "shitass" insult? I mean, it's not a very GOOD insult, but I don't see why people think it is so incomprehensibly weird. Shitass: you have shit in your ass. As in, you didn't wipe properly, so you stink, and shit is all in your butt-crack and on your pants, and probably dripping down your leg.

Of course, I am from Texas, so maybe that's why it makes sense to me.
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:03 AM on April 21, 2010

I think these celebs come off like trashy teenagers.

I think people are foolish for thinking they would act otherwise. Celebrities are just people, complete with all normal frailties, failures, and fuckuppery. I tend to be surprised (pleasantly!) when they act grown up. Otherwise, I don't waste my time being outraged by human behavior.

mostly
posted by grubi at 10:04 AM on April 21, 2010

Although, it seems like a semi-illiterate publicist's assistant is composing all of those and Cruise isn't allowed within 50 yards of a keyboard.

My point exactly. Step away from the magic box, Mr Baio.
posted by ColdChef at 10:04 AM on April 21, 2010

I'm on Metafilter and I can overthink a shitass.
posted by The Whelk at 10:05 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

I wonder how ZIPPY THE PINHEAD feels about his SPEAKING STYLE being appropriated by RIGHT-WING HACK ACTORS?

I expect that he's probably THRILLED!
posted by JHarris at 10:06 AM on April 21, 2010 [8 favorites]

I'm reading about Scott Baio on my Sony Vaio.

Ciao!
posted by Ratio at 10:06 AM on April 21, 2010 [33 favorites]

Why I won't use SHITASS as often:

Having worked for years in a Toronto Red Lobster where all the line cooks were Jamaican, I defer to the lexically superior, fun to say, and much more evocative bumbaclot.
posted by Shepherd at 10:08 AM on April 21, 2010 [13 favorites]

I can't wait until tomorrow's MeFi sidebar:

"Metafilter is upset at Chachi. Pinky Tuscedaro responds in thread!"
posted by bondcliff at 10:08 AM on April 21, 2010 [6 favorites]

pls stop takking my tax$ so i can aford to go to english class and rite like a groan man
posted by pyramid termite at 10:08 AM on April 21, 2010

Thanks to you, Saxon Kane, I've got to go watch that old George Brent video again. Which always cheers me up.

This thread is starting to smell like a dirty thong.
posted by kinnakeet at 10:09 AM on April 21, 2010

I loved the way the commenters (briefly) revolted when Jezebel cross-posted a Refinery29 shill post about shoes. The mob mentality, the quick derision of women who care about fashion, the pitchfork sharpening, the utter lack of understanding about how blogs are funded-- it's just a perfect distillation of what's wrong with Jezebel. Whether or not they're left-wing lesbian shitasses is irrelevant.
posted by oinopaponton at 10:10 AM on April 21, 2010

Until this comment I swear I had completely switched Scott Baio and Tony Danza in my mind, and I was all "wait, isn't he doing some reality show about being a teacher?
posted by JoanArkham at 10:11 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

I think the Baios should learn a new word: puerile. Because that's what their behavior has been.
posted by bearwife at 10:12 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

were not poorile, we pay taxes and wrok for a lving, LOL
posted by pyramid termite at 10:13 AM on April 21, 2010 [7 favorites]

Christ, what a chachi!
posted by chillmost at 10:13 AM on April 21, 2010

Shitass? I thought shitheel was the term of art these days.
posted by jquinby at 10:13 AM on April 21, 2010

kinnakeet: "What's the male equivalent of cuntness? "

Dongitude.
posted by idiopath at 10:14 AM on April 21, 2010 [6 favorites]

I think I mostly love the idea that he considers those who benefit from taxation are "lazy". Which implies he sees himself as "hard-working." You know, the guy who hasn't had a regular gig in a decade and a half.
posted by grubi at 10:14 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

"What's the male equivalent of cuntness? "

Cockness.
posted by grubi at 10:14 AM on April 21, 2010

Dongitude.

My friend, well played. The laughing cry of the Roc bird was just heard in my office.
posted by jquinby at 10:15 AM on April 21, 2010

I already read about this on Bob Loblaw's Law Blog.
posted by ExitPursuedByBear at 10:15 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

On the one hand, unseemly public celebrity shitfits are tiresome. On the other hand, the MetaFilter threads about them are hilarious. So it all evens out.
posted by FelliniBlank at 10:15 AM on April 21, 2010

Until this comment I swear I had completely switched Scott Baio and Tony Danza in my mind, and I was all "wait, isn't he doing some reality show about being a teacher?

Tony Danza says "O-A, A-O" not "Boway, Baio"
posted by 23skidoo at 10:16 AM on April 21, 2010

I'm glad you picked Pinky Tuscadero rather than Leather, because that was Suzi Quatro, man, and she can still kick Scott Baio's ass six ways to Sunday.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:16 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Bob Loblaw's Law Blog

Not a palindrome.
posted by JHarris at 10:17 AM on April 21, 2010

shitcock
posted by Pollomacho at 10:17 AM on April 21, 2010

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaio!

Baaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaa-aio!

Shitass tweet an' we wan' go 'o-ome!
posted by grubi at 10:18 AM on April 21, 2010 [10 favorites]

jezebel: grar.
Scott: grar.
jezebel: You're racist.
Scott: No you're racist.
jezebel: grar. grar. grar.

I'm completely unfamiliar with both combatants in this particular battle, so on the basis of the above exchange I'm going to picture them as two toddlers playing with strangely politically-correct dinosaur toys. The resulting mental image is, I imagine, much more pleasant than the reality.
posted by ZsigE at 10:19 AM on April 21, 2010 [5 favorites]

Shitass: you have shit in your ass.

Probably because they stand up to wipe.
posted by MexicanYenta at 10:20 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

There are two things of interest in this drama to me. One is that the word "lesbian" is used as an insult, and then a "qualification" of some kinds that she has gay friends. I am quite sure she has no idea how much those friends keep quiet in the face of this, probably because she's a drama queen and it's too much hassle to call her out on it.

The other is exactly how uncensored and stupid celebrities can be on Twitter with no regard to the fact that they make their money off the back of their reputation. The internet continues to be a great equaliser. If record companies, TV companies and whatnot want to see why they're losing money, it's because the celebrity has become too human. Lady Gaga for instance, is no doubt successful thanks in part to the lack of exposure of the woman behind the character.
posted by saturnine at 10:20 AM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

Not a palindrome.

No, but "Golb wal swalbol bob" sound like the last spoken words of a Lovecraft protagonist.
posted by griphus at 10:22 AM on April 21, 2010 [5 favorites]

The other is exactly how uncensored and stupid celebrities can be on Twitter with no regard to the fact that they make their money off the back of their reputation.

Ever heard the expression "there is no such thing as bad publicity"? Now, think about the last time you heard Baio's name in conversation or saw it in print before today.
posted by Pollomacho at 10:24 AM on April 21, 2010

What is it with these washed-up celebs and their douchebaggery?
posted by clvrmnky at 10:25 AM on April 21, 2010

Note to Baios...THIS IS EXACTLY WHY PR REPS AND SPOKESPEOPLE WERE INVENTED FOR YOU'RE INDUSTRY - HIRE SOMEONE TO WRITE YOUR TWEETS.

Or at least let us copyedit / sanitize / have veto power over 'em. You'll thank us later.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I'm very, very, very thankful that I don't do celebrity PR.
posted by zarq at 10:25 AM on April 21, 2010

Now, think about the last time you heard Baio's name in conversation or saw it in print before today.

The last time I heard from Scott Baio was as Bob Loblaw on Arrested Development. I left off thinking of him as playing a funny character and someone who was able to poke fun at himself and the fact that he was a washed up replacement for Fonzi. It was brilliant. Scott Baio was on my "like" list.

Now it feels like yesterday's delicious meal has been spoiled by a 24 hour case of burning liquishit.

I'd call that bad publicity.
posted by bondcliff at 10:29 AM on April 21, 2010 [9 favorites]

Ever heard the expression "there is no such thing as bad publicity"? Now, think about the last time you heard Baio's name in conversation or saw it in print before today.

When he compared Michelle Obama to a monkey?
posted by 23skidoo at 10:30 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Now, think about the last time you heard Baio's name in conversation or saw it in print before today.

When he had that horrible reality show about what a mess he is?
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:32 AM on April 21, 2010

Ever heard the expression "there is no such thing as bad publicity"?

I am a publicist. There is most certainly such a thing as bad publicity. It can destroy careers.

Now, think about the last time you heard Baio's name in conversation or saw it in print before today.

He's been in the news a lot over the past few years, notably for guest starring on Arrested Development. Had two reality shows on VH1 with a dedicated following, and produced another for them. Oh, and he tweeted a picture of Michelle Obama and got death threats over it.
posted by zarq at 10:32 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Google trends
posted by Pollomacho at 10:33 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Hey, wait, here's another MeFi-centric reason to hate on Scott Baio: he doesn't like Lady Gaga.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 10:39 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

From Mrs. Baio: "True FACT: I have lesbian friends that couldn't be nicer. They are true loyal friends."

‘True Fact’ is only used for truthy statements (facts that are true are just . . . facts), so obviously she doesn’t have any lesbian friends, she just thinks she could. Maybe. To prove a point.
posted by dinty_moore at 10:40 AM on April 21, 2010

Hey, wait, here's another MeFi-centric reason to hate on Scott Baio: he doesn't like Lady Gaga.

I can think of a reason why
posted by The Whelk at 10:41 AM on April 21, 2010

dinty_moore Under federal section 435 subsection B, claimance of having a friend of a particular minority status allows claimer to make inflamatory, racist, sexist or demagogic remarks without fear of reprisal... IT'S ALL THERE IN BLACK AND WHITE, IPSO FACT, YOU LOSE, GOOD DAY SIR!
posted by ExitPursuedByBear at 10:44 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

It's always sad to learn that an entertainer whose work you've enjoyed is a complete asshole. Never gonna look at Bob Loblaw the same.
posted by kafziel at 10:45 AM on April 21, 2010

Sooner or later, even the stupidest celebrities are going to figure out that posting every little thought that pops into their skulls on Twitter has more downsides than up.

Oh God please let this be true.
posted by you just lost the game at 10:45 AM on April 21, 2010

Cockness! Hmmmm.

I'm visualizing something emerging from a Scottish lake.

"Faith and begorrah, it's Cocknessie! Hide yer eyes, lassie."
posted by kinnakeet at 10:46 AM on April 21, 2010

I prefer the Darko-sibling-approved "fuckass."
posted by emelenjr at 10:47 AM on April 21, 2010

Tel me how exactly how does one suck a fuck?
posted by The Whelk at 10:51 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Scott Baio was on my "like" list.

Now it feels like yesterday's delicious meal has been spoiled by a 24 hour case of burning liquishit.

I'd call that bad publicity.

For us far-left liberal lesbian shitasses on MeFi, sure this has run asunder the name Scott Baio, but for many more out there it has created a new hero. Just for reference...
posted by Pollomacho at 10:54 AM on April 21, 2010

Scott Baio has more commitment to Sparkle Motion in his piss than all of you all!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:55 AM on April 21, 2010

Tel me how exactly how does one suck a fuck?

Location, location, location! Just be careful, last time I did this I got banged in the eye by accident.
posted by me & my monkey at 10:56 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

I don't understand strict constitutionalists. So you're saying that you want to base modern laws, legal decisions, and public policies on a single document and the intentions of some men who lived hundreds of years ago in a country so vastly different (in size, in culture, in technology) from today's U.S. that it might have been a different nation altogether.

Am I missing something? Aren't the most successful and longest-lived governments those that have adapted as times, borders, and temperaments have changed?
posted by Never teh Bride at 10:56 AM on April 21, 2010

Do you say "shitasses" to differentiate from "buttheads"?
posted by onhazier at 10:57 AM on April 21, 2010

The Whelk: "Tel me how exactly how does one suck a fuck?"

Given that the word "fuck" can be used as a noun to crudely and informally refer to one's sexual partner (used when emphasizing their role as your partner in sex to exclusion of other aspects of your interaction), then sucking a fuck is, or at least should be, a commonplace act, and thus a fucksucker would be in that sense a considerate and gracious sexual partner. Given this reasoning, I suggest we use fucksucker as a disphemism to refer to a considerate, kind, generous, and polite individual.
posted by idiopath at 10:57 AM on April 21, 2010 [4 favorites]

Usage example: "don't talk ill of The Whelk, good sir - I have it on good authority that he is a confirmed fucksucker through and through."
posted by idiopath at 11:00 AM on April 21, 2010

This is why I heart Metafilter. Shitasses and all.
posted by buzzkillington at 11:00 AM on April 21, 2010

I have it on good authority that he is a confirmed fucksucker through and through.

...and how.
posted by The Whelk at 11:01 AM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

Mister Rogers was a fucksucker.
posted by FelliniBlank at 11:01 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

So you're saying that you want to base modern laws, legal decisions, and public policies on a single document and the intentions of some men who lived hundreds of years ago in a country so vastly different (in size, in culture, in technology) from today's U.S. that it might have been a different nation altogether.

It shouldn't come as much of a surprize that many of these folks also believe a "litterally interprited" Bible should be the basis for a legal and moral code.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:02 AM on April 21, 2010

Mister Rogers was a fucksucker.

We're gonna need t-shirts.
posted by The Whelk at 11:03 AM on April 21, 2010 [7 favorites]

Could you be my
Would you be my
Won't you be my neighbor?
posted by onhazier at 11:05 AM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

The fact that in her list of "people who are different" she knows to show that she's a good person, the second thing she thinks of to write is SIZES?!?!

Um... why not? People today are often discriminated against and even openly mocked for being too fat, sometimes for being too skinny, often for being too short, sometimes for being too tall. As far as I know size discrimination is mostly prevalent in the workplace, politics, entertainment, and dating, and it is a little weird to think of it as being a potential factor when people form friendships as well, but I wouldn't bet against there being some measurable subconscious effect. In any case, surely it's not unreasonable that someone's list of "people who [suffer for being] different" includes people of differing sizes up near the top.
posted by roystgnr at 11:07 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Until this comment I swear I had completely switched Scott Baio and Tony Danza in my mind

Oh look it's simple. *approaches blackboard*

As you can see, the Shitassline is bookended by two polar extremes: Scott Baio and Tony Danza.
Scott Baio is in the negative energy spectrum.
Tony Danza is... also in the negative energy spectrum.

Now, uh, Ling Ling finds a wallet on the ground filled with money. Which celebrity shitass should she take it to?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:08 AM on April 21, 2010 [4 favorites]

So, it seems that the comments on Jezebel are more respectable than the comments in this thread. Nice going.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:10 AM on April 21, 2010

So you're saying that you want to base modern laws, legal decisions, and public policies on a single document and the intentions of some men who lived hundreds of years ago in a country so vastly different (in size, in culture, in technology) from today's U.S. that it might have been a different nation altogether.

IMHO, the attraction of referring all questions to original intent in the Founders' drafting of the Constitution is to push back against forces that have, since that time, aligned to undermine pre-existing authority figures' power. It should be no surprise to see that original intent is the preferred approach of wealthy strict-Christian families, with patriarchal and Church-centric values. They present the argument in terms designed to leave the impression that most Americans' freedoms have been restricted, and that they are looking to re-expand them to the extent of original boundaries. From their perspective, this is true - they have lost the freedom to discriminate on the basis of race, gender, disability and hopefully soon sexual orientation. They have lost the social dominance that was formerly associated with their church membership. On the other hand, from the perspective of a woman lawyer whose ability to freely choose a career was promoted by these same departures from original intent, I disagree with them strongly.
posted by bunnycup at 11:13 AM on April 21, 2010 [5 favorites]

I thought "shitass" was popularized by Tourette's Guy, though he pronounced it more like "Shit. Ass."
posted by nowoutside at 11:14 AM on April 21, 2010

CHACHI

[insert picture of Fonzie here]

I AM DISAPPOINT
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:16 AM on April 21, 2010 [7 favorites]

The fact that in her list of "people who are different" she knows to show that she's a good person, the second thing she thinks of to write is SIZES?!?!

Um... why not?
posted by roystgnr

Because it seems rather unlikely anyone was accusing her of being sizist?
posted by haveanicesummer at 11:23 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

"shitasses"

I've heard this incredibly awkward insult several times, and each time it was from a right winger. Where do they get this from?

Bob Saget at 3:53 is the one use that popped into my head for some reason.
posted by clearly at 11:26 AM on April 21, 2010

Celebrities are just people, complete with all normal frailties, failures, and fuckuppery. I tend to be surprised (pleasantly!) when they act grown up.

They also show the same range of behaviour and characteristics you see in any crowd (okay, maybe they have higher rates of situational narcissism than those found in random samples). Some are truly fine people who are exceptionally talented and accomplished and damn good at what they do. Some are ignorant, stupid and spoiled — these tend to be the ones who got handed too much money and attention too early on in life. So I'm not surprised when a celebrity turns out to be a really cool person, but I do take pleasure in it, a pleasure that is more satisfying than the pleasure I take in some celebrity embarrassing himself or herself royally, because that latter kind tends to leave an aftertaste.
posted by orange swan at 11:30 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

I had a huge crush on Scott Baio when I was young. Seeing how he turned out, I'm relieved that my "chachi loves amyms" fantasies never came to fruition.
posted by amyms at 11:34 AM on April 21, 2010

Amyms, I'm thinking you must feel sort of like how I felt when I discovered that the boy I was in luuuurve with in grades eight and nine is now a Pentecostal youth minister and car salesman in Calgary. Sometimes fate is kind.
posted by orange swan at 11:40 AM on April 21, 2010

Chachi is Korean for penis. Really.
posted by cazoo at 11:42 AM on April 21, 2010

last time I did this I got banged in the eye by accident.

-.o

thanks for the image.
posted by ServSci at 11:45 AM on April 21, 2010

Shitasses? I prefer poopbutt.
posted by electroboy at 11:46 AM on April 21, 2010

Chachi is Korean for penis. Really.

If I told you what Baio means I could get banned.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:48 AM on April 21, 2010

Christ, what a shitasshole.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 11:55 AM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

So, it seems that the comments on Jezebel are more respectable than the comments in this thread. Nice going.

Thank you!
posted by grubi at 12:02 PM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Is this something I would have had to have owned a television thirty years ago to understand?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:14 PM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

First Kelsey Grammer, now Scott Baeiou? What washed-up has-been entertainment giant will emerge as the next conservative hero?
posted by kirkaracha at 12:16 PM on April 21, 2010

"shitasses"

I've heard this incredibly awkward insult several times, and each time it was from a right winger. Where do they get this from?

I first heard it in Five Easy Pieces (1970). Billy Green Bush calls Nicholson a shitass.
posted by dobbs at 12:16 PM on April 21, 2010

I loved Scott Baio in the wrong hole.
posted by homunculus at 12:20 PM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

"shitasses"

Wow. Something about the bolding and italics made me read this as "shitlasses". Which, as gendered insults go, is pretty good.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 12:23 PM on April 21, 2010

Oh great, and of course, this instance of bolding and italicizing made that look like shit-slash-asses.

LASSES.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 12:23 PM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

The Jim Lahey Shit Board. Because Scott Baio doesn't know shit about shit.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:26 PM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

I'm not going to be able to enjoy Bob Loblaw anymore. I thought he was a funny character but didn't realize it was just Scott Baio playing himself.
posted by dunkadunc at 12:28 PM on April 21, 2010

I long for the days when assholes could only annoy the few people unfortunate enough to be within earshot.
posted by tommasz at 12:38 PM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

I always felt sorry for Renee on 45 and Single to have to be with this kind of dude.
posted by anniecat at 12:48 PM on April 21, 2010

shit-slash-asses. LASSES.

Shitlasses: swords carried by the pirates you really don't want to mess with.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:54 PM on April 21, 2010 [4 favorites]

I long for the days when assholes could only annoy the few people unfortunate enough to be within earshot.

Yeah, screw you Samuel Morse!

...and Claude Chappe for that matter!
posted by Pollomacho at 12:54 PM on April 21, 2010

Mister Rogers was a fucksucker.

Hey now. Leave Mr. Rogers out of this!
posted by anniecat at 12:55 PM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Meh, metafilter might be the hive mind, but jezebel is just a bunch of groupthink.

I think both parties in this argument need to sit out for a season.
posted by jellywerker at 12:56 PM on April 21, 2010

I think this quote from one of the Jezebel (which I find pretty tiring like bunnycup does) sums up what we can expect from someone like Scott Baio:

Didn't Scott Baio have a reality series in which he bitched and whined non-stop about his girlfriend getting pregnant, and having to get ready to be a parent? What, she put gun to his head and forced him not to use a condom? Someone tell him that condoms are lined with sand and ground glass?
posted by anniecat at 1:02 PM on April 21, 2010

Seems like Scott stopped progressing at about age 12.
posted by caddis at 1:05 PM on April 21, 2010

Renee put her FB to private. What a shitass.
posted by stormpooper at 1:06 PM on April 21, 2010

re: "Strict Constitutionalists" -- It's a nonsense term that doesn't really mean anything except "reactionary." People who claim to want to follow the constitution and the intentions of the Framers are all too happy to ignore things like the generally deist/enlightenment attitude among most of them, James Madison's reputed atheism, and Thomas Jefferson's belief in the separation of church & state and his rejection of mysticism and the supernatural, among other things. "Strict constructionalism" in any time is really just reactionary-conservative interpretation of the Constitution disguised by the rhetorical strategy of appealing to some impossible to determine "true intention."
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:15 PM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Shitlasses: swords carried by the pirates you really don't want to mess with.
posted by Mr. Bad Example

Would those be butt pirates?
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:16 PM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Shitass? I thought shitheel was the term of art these days.

If you would just go with the old-fashioned Shitstain, then everyone would know what you mean: the excrement build-up on a pair of old undies due to the butt wiping incapabilities of a cretin and/or lazy person.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:25 PM on April 21, 2010

kinnakeet: "What's the male equivalent of cuntness? Dickness? Penisness? Schlongness? Inquiring minds want to know."

Prickery or prickulanimous. Although the Kensington Shitasses have a strong preference for the latter, those of the hoitier and toiter Southern Boca Raton Shitass clan prefer the former.

Also shitass? Terrible failure of imagination.
posted by Barry B. Palindromer at 1:40 PM on April 21, 2010

If you would just go with the old-fashioned Shitstain, then everyone would know what you mean: the excrement build-up on a pair of old undies due to the butt wiping incapabilities of a cretin and/or lazy person.

They complement one another. The lazy, unwiped-ass, soiling the underpants of shame.

He probably wipes back to front...
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 1:47 PM on April 21, 2010

For what it's worth, the OED's earliest cite for "shit-ass" is 1942, from Berrey & Van den Bark's The American Thesaurus of Slang.

Shitbreeches has a cite from 1922.
posted by cortex at 1:48 PM on April 21, 2010 [4 favorites]

cortex: what about shit-pantaloons?
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:54 PM on April 21, 2010

Shit-loincloth!
posted by COBRA! at 2:00 PM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

What's a Chachi?
posted by fire&wings at 2:14 PM on April 21, 2010

I thought maybe s__tasses was "softasses", then decided it was probably "slutasses". Oddly, I never even considered "shitasses".

Kind of embarrassing, actually.
posted by the bricabrac man at 2:16 PM on April 21, 2010

“To be fair, Scott Baio does, in fact, have more glass in his piss than all of you all.”

Look, you can put a tuxedo shirt on anything and it doesn’t make it classy. … I don’t want to get into it more than that, I’m just sayin’

Someone sent me these in an e-mail today. Until just now I didn't know why. (Baio vs Swayze roller disco ... yeah)
posted by Smedleyman at 2:36 PM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Man, if Scott Baio gets his culottes in a plus-four over Jezebel, heaven help us all if he finds out about Goats.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:41 PM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

Note to Teabaggers: Terms like "liberal" and "far left"—even when they're shouted in capital letters—are not the least bit insulting to Far Left Liberals. Best stick to the COMMIE NAZI shtick.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:43 PM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Would those be butt pirates?

My mother (who is in her late 50s) and I once got yelled at by my aunt (her older sister, by 12 years) for chasing each other through said aunt's house yelling "butt pirate!" at each other. We may or may not have been doing even more obnoxious things at the time. This was, like, 2 years ago.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:50 PM on April 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

Note to Teabaggers: Terms like "liberal" and "far left"...

I've noticed that they seem to like "collectivist."
posted by brundlefly at 2:51 PM on April 21, 2010

Douchebag on the internet
Washed up sitcom star, you bet.
He's there just to piss his class on me,
Like the rest of his family.

Charles in Charge
Of the gays and non-whites
Charles in Charge
Of reproductive rights

And he thinks I want,
I want Charge in Charge of me?
posted by Sys Rq at 2:53 PM on April 21, 2010 [8 favorites]

Note to Teabaggers: Terms like "liberal" and "far left"...

I've noticed that they seem to like "collectivist."

Well, if being a collectivist is wrong...


Oh wait, it's not wrong, it's never been wrong, and it may just be the only way for humanity to survive another few centuries, if it's not too late already. Anyway, if the Tea Party hates collectivism then what the fuck do they think they are doing? If I hear "anarchist organization, huhuhuhuh isn't that an oxymoron" without hearing "oh, a bunch of Tea Baggers working together? Isn't that an oxymoron?" I'm going to be upset.
posted by fuq at 3:09 PM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

I ask the Media & ppl to LOOK @ my REAL timeline. Start w/ April 12 @ 10:42 am, & a RT @ 11:30, MY answer @ 11:32 & MY REWRITE @ 11:52.

it's a motherfuckin' walkoff.
posted by Wuggie Norple at 3:40 PM on April 21, 2010

What's a Chachi?

20 Potsies, same as at Al's.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:46 PM on April 21, 2010 [22 favorites]

Now, think about the last time you heard Baio's name in conversation or saw it in print before today.

For me it was the last time he had a Twitter meltdown.
posted by pompomtom at 4:06 PM on April 21, 2010

Scott Baio has more class in his piss than all of you all!!!

Didn't Hall & Oates have a song about this? I think it was called "Piss on My List", or something like that.
posted by Crabby Appleton at 4:16 PM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Mondegreen!!! The real name of that song was Frist on my Lips.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:01 PM on April 21, 2010

Finally something twitter is good for: Letting celebrities freak out in public!
posted by delmoi at 6:04 PM on April 21, 2010

You know who's a good celebrity tweeter? Neil Patrick Harris. That guy is a real class act. He can suck my fuck anytime.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 6:25 PM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Friend of a friend called out Baio on this comment before the Jezebel mess started and Renee Baio showed up on his band's facebook page and unleashed the fury there, as well. One of her attacks, ironically, was that those criticizing Baio need to get jobs or find something better to do with their time. She eventually deleted all but the most civil comments that she left on the page....
posted by msbrauer at 6:34 PM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

That guy is a real class act. He can suck my fuck anytime.

Oh metafilter....
posted by The Whelk at 6:37 PM on April 21, 2010

First Kelsey Grammer, now Scott Baeiou? What washed-up has-been entertainment giant will emerge as the next conservative hero?

Don't forget Coach, Mr Craig T Nelson himself! Via the wikipedia: "In May 2009, Nelson appeared on Glenn Beck's self-titled tv show, where he spoke about his dislike of the current state of government. He also announced he would no longer pay taxes,[4] and went on to state: "I've been on food stamps and welfare, did anybody help me out? No. No.""

(And in case you don't believe the wikipedia, video of that appearance can be found here.)
posted by inigo2 at 7:17 PM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

"I've been on food stamps and welfare, did anybody help me out? No. No."

When people say things that dumb, I start to lose hope for our future, and kinda wish the big asteroid would just smite this planet already. Damn dumb.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:26 PM on April 21, 2010 [7 favorites]

Yeah you tell'em. You're not lazy. You just more or less won life's fucking lottery by being young, attractive and marginally talented in the right place at the right time. But you work so hard for your money.

How come right wing principles seem to be "me me me me me" and wanting to help anyone else is "socialism".
posted by djduckie at 8:24 PM on April 21, 2010

It's called "Fuck you, got mine."
posted by five fresh fish at 8:33 PM on April 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

"I've been on food stamps and welfare, did anybody help me out? No. No."

Wow. Just... wow. I... wow.

Wow.

*speechless*
posted by zarq at 9:00 PM on April 21, 2010

Don't forget Coach, Mr Craig T Nelson himself! Via the wikipedia: "In May 2009, Nelson appeared on Glenn Beck's self-titled tv show, where he spoke about his dislike of the current state of government. He also announced he would no longer pay taxes,[4] and went on to state: "I've been on food stamps and welfare, did anybody help me out? No. No.""

It's a shame. I really thought the Orlando Breakers were going to make it. That's what he gets for moving to an expansion team.
posted by snapped at 9:11 PM on April 21, 2010

Terms like "liberal" and "far left"—even when they're shouted in capital letters—are not the least bit insulting to Far Left Liberals.

The dog whistle is not meant for the bird in the tree or the bunny rabbit in the next yard.
posted by blucevalo at 9:51 PM on April 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Best stick to the COMMIE NAZI shtick.

That's the Larouchies.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:27 AM on April 22, 2010

"I've been on food stamps and welfare, did anybody help me out? No. No."
Did they call me foodie stamp the welfarer? No. No.
But suck one fuck …
posted by Smedleyman at 7:32 AM on April 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

"Please (Scott Baio), shut up. I'm begging you, you screeching eyeball stupid shitbox clownshoes." via
posted by FatherDagon at 8:27 AM on April 22, 2010

Maybe Ms. Baio was simply recalling the old saying:

Men don't make passes at girls with shitasses.

(NOT BIASED. Some of my best friends are shitasses!)
posted by evidenceofabsence at 9:40 AM on April 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

I just found out that Baio replaced George Clooney as the main love interest in the short lived 1991 sitcom "Baby Talk". Wonder who made that decision.
posted by soelo at 1:41 PM on April 22, 2010

soelo: Well, in 1991, Scott was just coming off of Charles in Charge, whereas Clooney wasn't much of a name yet.

I just find it odd that Clooney was on a show called "E/R" and was then on another show, "ER".
posted by Saxon Kane at 5:39 AM on April 23, 2010

Well, in 1991, Scott was just coming off of Charles in Charge, whereas Clooney wasn't much of a name yet.

He was very much "that guy from The Facts of Life" at that point.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:29 AM on April 23, 2010