Boobies! FOR SCIENCE
April 23, 2010 7:33 AM Subscribe
Whenever a natural disaster happens, there are people eager to blame it on other people who are behaving in ways they don't like. Well, in the wake of an Iranian cleric blaming immodestly dressed women for causing an earthquake, there's a push-up proposal to test this hypothesis.
A critical thinking experiment is being planned in real time. The brainchild of Jen McCreight, who blogs at Blag Hag, BOOBQUAKE is designed to test the concept that immodest dress causes tectonic plate disruption.I'm not sure if I *own* anything that qualifies as low-cut, personally. Maybe I can unbutton more buttons on my shirt?
Women are asked to wear their lowest cut, most immodest blouse on April 26th. If you happen to wear a short skirt, too, I can’t imagine that that would skew the results.
Am I the only one hoping that there is a massive quake on the 26th.
posted by anti social order at 7:39 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by anti social order at 7:39 AM on April 23, 2010
Am I the only one hoping that there is a massive quake on the 26th.
Yes?
posted by kmz at 7:40 AM on April 23, 2010 [11 favorites]
Yes?
posted by kmz at 7:40 AM on April 23, 2010 [11 favorites]
Am I the only one hoping that there is a massive quake on the 26th.
In your pants?
posted by uncleozzy at 7:42 AM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
In your pants?
posted by uncleozzy at 7:42 AM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
BOOBQUAAAAKE!!!
posted by christhelongtimelurker at 7:43 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by christhelongtimelurker at 7:43 AM on April 23, 2010
Any chance the comments can be anything besides boyzone (boobzone?) on this post?
posted by garlic at 7:44 AM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by garlic at 7:44 AM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]
I remember downloading the BOOBQUAKE mod. It wasn't nearly as good as Team Fortress.
posted by permafrost at 7:44 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by permafrost at 7:44 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Any chance the comments can be anything besides boyzone (boobzone?) on this post?
I'd say that there's this much chance: --> <--
posted by jquinby at 7:46 AM on April 23, 2010
I'd say that there's this much chance: --> <--
posted by jquinby at 7:46 AM on April 23, 2010
Garlic: what do you expect when one inane idea about the power of decolletage meets another?
posted by chavenet at 7:48 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by chavenet at 7:48 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Of course, the normally "objectionable" behavior (being gay, being non-Christian/Muslim, etc) is generally full-time, so a one day test may not be enough...
posted by DU at 7:49 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by DU at 7:49 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Any chance the comments can be anything besides boyzone (boobzone?) on this post?
I'm actually hoping this turns out like the thread on the homeopathy "experiment" last month, with a bunch of fruitcakes telling us that they've seen people turned to pillars of salt or something.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:50 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I'm actually hoping this turns out like the thread on the homeopathy "experiment" last month, with a bunch of fruitcakes telling us that they've seen people turned to pillars of salt or something.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:50 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Unfortunately, it doesn't really seem like a good test. Sooner or later something bad will happen and who is to say this wasn't the cause. It's just an extension of the same correlation vs causation mistake that the Islamic cleric is making.
That said, I fully support the notion that women should wear revealing tops on April 26. And every other day.
posted by lordrunningclam at 7:50 AM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]
That said, I fully support the notion that women should wear revealing tops on April 26. And every other day.
posted by lordrunningclam at 7:50 AM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]
NOT FRUITCAKE-IST. I really like fruitcake, actually.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:51 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by uncleozzy at 7:51 AM on April 23, 2010
Fruitcake would actually be really great if it took a homeopathic approach to the disgusting hard dried fruit bits.
posted by DU at 7:52 AM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by DU at 7:52 AM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]
Blaming immodestly dressed women for natural disasters is absurd.
I blame the Jews. And the rap music. No no no, wait: Sammy Hagar. This is ALL Sammy Hagar's fault.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:53 AM on April 23, 2010 [11 favorites]
I blame the Jews. And the rap music. No no no, wait: Sammy Hagar. This is ALL Sammy Hagar's fault.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:53 AM on April 23, 2010 [11 favorites]
To be certain it worked you would need a control, an area that hasn't had a major earthquake for centuries. I suggest the immodest women concentrate somewhere around Washington, DC.
I'll bring beer.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:54 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I'll bring beer.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:54 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
lordrunningclam: you have a point -- Pat Robertson blamed the Haitian earthquake recently on their revolt back in the 1800's. Apparently the vengeful diety waited until everyone involved on both sides was dead before raining down vengence.
posted by rmd1023 at 7:55 AM on April 23, 2010 [15 favorites]
posted by rmd1023 at 7:55 AM on April 23, 2010 [15 favorites]
Any chance the comments can be anything besides boyzone (boobzone?) on this post?
Given that the topic is 'blogs respond to idiocy with idiocy', I'm going to go with "no".
I wonder if the women most affected by the original idiocy are likely to expose themselves for a few page-impressions...
posted by pompomtom at 7:56 AM on April 23, 2010
Given that the topic is 'blogs respond to idiocy with idiocy', I'm going to go with "no".
I wonder if the women most affected by the original idiocy are likely to expose themselves for a few page-impressions...
posted by pompomtom at 7:56 AM on April 23, 2010
Actually, to fully test the hypothesis, remember, the immodest dress has to then corrupt men from their chastity and faith which then results in earthquakes.
My guess is that the real mechanism is immodest dress causes geological damage through the power of multitudes of penises pumping simultaneously.
In which case, we should also have lots of gay sex as well.
A separate day should also test if it applies to strap-ons and we can compare the seismic results to see if physics is actually biased towards flesh penises alone, or, if it's merely the shape and action of penis like objects that creates quakes...
posted by yeloson at 7:57 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
My guess is that the real mechanism is immodest dress causes geological damage through the power of multitudes of penises pumping simultaneously.
In which case, we should also have lots of gay sex as well.
A separate day should also test if it applies to strap-ons and we can compare the seismic results to see if physics is actually biased towards flesh penises alone, or, if it's merely the shape and action of penis like objects that creates quakes...
posted by yeloson at 7:57 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I officiously claim that immodestly dressed men, especially those wearing tight pants with a nice rear end, bring the wrath of God upon us!
Science, men, prove me wrong.
posted by fontophilic at 7:58 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Science, men, prove me wrong.
posted by fontophilic at 7:58 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Apparently the vengeful diety waited until everyone involved on both sides was dead before raining down vengence.
Talk about misunderstanding judgement after death...
posted by yeloson at 7:58 AM on April 23, 2010
Talk about misunderstanding judgement after death...
posted by yeloson at 7:58 AM on April 23, 2010
Clerics really should learn not to make these sorts of correlations, in case any listening deities have a sense of humor:
Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson told his "700 Club" TV audience in June (1998) that the city of Orlando, Fla., was taking a big risk to sponsor the recent "Gay Days" festival. "I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes," he said, "and I don't think I'd be waving those (Gay Days logo) flags in God's face if I were you." Homosexuality, he said, "will bring about terrorist bombs, it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes and possibly a meteor." (In fact, 1998's first hurricane, Bonnie, made landfall two months later in North Carolina, near the Virginia Beach, Va., headquarters of Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network.) [AP wirecopy, 6-10-98] (link)posted by Blue Jello Elf at 7:59 AM on April 23, 2010 [23 favorites]
DU: using the sort of dried fruit you'd put into a trail mix works much better than the candied fruit that fruitcake recipies tend to call for.
posted by garlic at 7:59 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by garlic at 7:59 AM on April 23, 2010
lordrunningclam: "Unfortunately, it doesn't really seem like a good test."
PROC PHREG data=boobquake; model time*quakes(0) = boobs / risklimits; run;posted by The White Hat at 7:59 AM on April 23, 2010
And yes, I did just use my Cox regression to test the significance of her boobs parameter.
posted by The White Hat at 8:03 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by The White Hat at 8:03 AM on April 23, 2010
Actually, to fully test the hypothesis, remember, the immodest dress has to then corrupt men from their chastity and faith which then results in earthquakes.
Since most any males of the species can be corrupted by a collection of a few hundred pixels on a computer screen, it should be about as hard as dropping an apple to see whether gravity works.
I officiously claim that immodestly dressed men, especially those wearing tight pants with a nice rear end, bring the wrath of God upon us!
For me, the pants don't have to be tight. The best male rear ends reveal themselves even through the dumpiest and frumpiest slacks, sweat pants, and tacky Bermuda shorts.
posted by blucevalo at 8:09 AM on April 23, 2010
Since most any males of the species can be corrupted by a collection of a few hundred pixels on a computer screen, it should be about as hard as dropping an apple to see whether gravity works.
I officiously claim that immodestly dressed men, especially those wearing tight pants with a nice rear end, bring the wrath of God upon us!
For me, the pants don't have to be tight. The best male rear ends reveal themselves even through the dumpiest and frumpiest slacks, sweat pants, and tacky Bermuda shorts.
posted by blucevalo at 8:09 AM on April 23, 2010
Pat Robertson blamed the Haitian earthquake recently on their revolt back in the 1800's.
I wonder if there is an Iranian Drudgereport that mocks the idiocy of American religious leaders: "American cleric blames earthquake on 1800s Haitian revolution against French colonists!"
There is certainly no shortage of stupidity on both sides.
posted by three blind mice at 8:10 AM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]
I wonder if there is an Iranian Drudgereport that mocks the idiocy of American religious leaders: "American cleric blames earthquake on 1800s Haitian revolution against French colonists!"
There is certainly no shortage of stupidity on both sides.
posted by three blind mice at 8:10 AM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]
Come on Iran, don't blame it on the sunshine, don't blame it on the moonlight, don't blame it on the good times, blame it on the boogie.
posted by geoff. at 8:17 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by geoff. at 8:17 AM on April 23, 2010
You can't win with clerics. If nothing happens, he says that you can't test God, as God does not want to be empirically proven, for without faith, he is nothing. If a quake happens, then he says that he was right.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:19 AM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:19 AM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
Or, to put it more succinctly: Babelfish.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:19 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:19 AM on April 23, 2010
There is certainly no shortage of stupidity on both sides.
"Both sides"? The Taliban is the Taliban, American membership or not.
posted by DU at 8:22 AM on April 23, 2010
"Both sides"? The Taliban is the Taliban, American membership or not.
posted by DU at 8:22 AM on April 23, 2010
Sorry, Garlic. This kind of subject causes men to regress back to Jr. high.
BTW, you guys see that semi-banned Lane Bryant banned comercial? I bet it caused a few earthquakes! If you know what I mean! HURF DURF!
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:23 AM on April 23, 2010
BTW, you guys see that semi-banned Lane Bryant banned comercial? I bet it caused a few earthquakes! If you know what I mean! HURF DURF!
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:23 AM on April 23, 2010
Fucking clerics. We hired you to turn undead, drop some heals and the occasional rez and now you go and pull this shit?
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 8:25 AM on April 23, 2010 [11 favorites]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 8:25 AM on April 23, 2010 [11 favorites]
And the Goddess said, "Let there be cleavage."
And there was cleavage.
And it was good.
posted by zarq at 8:26 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
And there was cleavage.
And it was good.
posted by zarq at 8:26 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
It's a safe bet that there is no Taliban activity in Iran.
Guess what? There's very little "Taliban" activity in the US either. It's a metaphor.
posted by DU at 8:28 AM on April 23, 2010
Guess what? There's very little "Taliban" activity in the US either. It's a metaphor.
posted by DU at 8:28 AM on April 23, 2010
Alternate translation: Low Cut Dresses + Deeply-flawed scientific hypothesis = Attempt to Disprove Sexist Religious Extremist Through Sex that no one will care about because oh look, b00bs.
posted by zarq at 8:28 AM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by zarq at 8:28 AM on April 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
Titty Balls for Peace!
posted by ReeMonster at 8:29 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by ReeMonster at 8:29 AM on April 23, 2010
DU: "Both sides"? The Taliban is the Taliban, American membership or not.
Taliban? In Iran? Not a chance. The Taliban are essentially a Sunni muslim organisation created by Ronald Reagan and the CIA with Saudi money. They are bitterly opposed by the Shia clerics in Iran.
posted by three blind mice at 8:31 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Taliban? In Iran? Not a chance. The Taliban are essentially a Sunni muslim organisation created by Ronald Reagan and the CIA with Saudi money. They are bitterly opposed by the Shia clerics in Iran.
posted by three blind mice at 8:31 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I support fontophilic; let's turn this boyzone into a yaoizone.
posted by adipocere at 8:31 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by adipocere at 8:31 AM on April 23, 2010
Yeah Taliban! That's where I'm an Islamic extremist!
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:32 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:32 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Oh God what did I write John Ashcroft please don't read this thread
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:34 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:34 AM on April 23, 2010
The Taliban are essentially a Sunni muslim organisation created by Ronald Reagan
The Taliban and the Mujahideen are not the same thing.
posted by electroboy at 8:38 AM on April 23, 2010
The Taliban and the Mujahideen are not the same thing.
posted by electroboy at 8:38 AM on April 23, 2010
This is my favorite depiction of Afganistan's history.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:44 AM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:44 AM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
This is all part of the Master Plan to convert the world into the US. You can try to talk to people about government and society and watch their attention wander or you can show them the opening credits of Baywatch.
posted by vapidave at 8:49 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by vapidave at 8:49 AM on April 23, 2010
Whenever a natural disaster happens, there are people eager to blame it on other people who are behaving in ways they don't like.
If you've never been subjected to this type of belief system, then good.
You can be afflicted by a belief without its being true.
posted by nervousfritz at 8:50 AM on April 23, 2010
If you've never been subjected to this type of belief system, then good.
You can be afflicted by a belief without its being true.
posted by nervousfritz at 8:50 AM on April 23, 2010
The sounds of the earthquake
The movements that you make
Are shakin' my head right in two
posted by kuujjuarapik at 8:50 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
The movements that you make
Are shakin' my head right in two
posted by kuujjuarapik at 8:50 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
stupid+stupid /= intellegence
posted by QIbHom at 9:01 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by QIbHom at 9:01 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
In solidarity with women, men across the world will be joining in on Chat Roulette.
posted by brundlefly at 9:02 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by brundlefly at 9:02 AM on April 23, 2010
Metafilter: the power of multitudes of penises pumping simultaneously
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:02 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:02 AM on April 23, 2010
I'm a little torn by this. On one hand, you have female empowerment by standing up to idiotic reasoning, and making a statement that will get some oppressive cleric's pantys in a bunch, but on the othe hand, it's also taking the mystical power of earthquake creation, by mere choice of attire, away from women.
The first point is more useful in the long run, I would say.
posted by chambers at 9:10 AM on April 23, 2010
The first point is more useful in the long run, I would say.
posted by chambers at 9:10 AM on April 23, 2010
I enjoyed Gary Clement's cartoon about this.
posted by Kabanos at 9:12 AM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Kabanos at 9:12 AM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
Funny how the same logical assertion qualifies you as a psychotic or as a religious leader, depending on the place you're living in.
posted by nicolin at 9:34 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by nicolin at 9:34 AM on April 23, 2010
Yeah, the Iranian regime does not enjoy anything like the support in-country that Americans tend to think it does.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:45 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:45 AM on April 23, 2010
Sort of like the in-country support for James Dobson and Pat Robertson?
posted by warbaby at 9:58 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by warbaby at 9:58 AM on April 23, 2010
More than that, I believe.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:01 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:01 AM on April 23, 2010
This experiment is carried out every single year!
1. The French Riviera is on not one, but two fault lines (guess where the Alps came from).
2. Every summer, the French Riviera is invaded by hordes of tourists. The vast majority of these tourists arrive only to disrobe themselves within 24 hours, on average this is my hat, I'm pulling figures out of it, and congregate on the beaches.
3. Many of the above-mentioned tourists are women, and of those women, many of them go topless. (Yes. On public beaches. It's so common here that even American-Christian-fundamentalist-raised, happily-escaped-yet-still-prude-me doesn't feel uncomfortable if slippage occurs.)
4. The last major earthquake on the French Riviera was in 1887.
posted by fraula at 10:04 AM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
1. The French Riviera is on not one, but two fault lines (guess where the Alps came from).
2. Every summer, the French Riviera is invaded by hordes of tourists. The vast majority of these tourists arrive only to disrobe themselves within 24 hours, on average this is my hat, I'm pulling figures out of it, and congregate on the beaches.
3. Many of the above-mentioned tourists are women, and of those women, many of them go topless. (Yes. On public beaches. It's so common here that even American-Christian-fundamentalist-raised, happily-escaped-yet-still-prude-me doesn't feel uncomfortable if slippage occurs.)
4. The last major earthquake on the French Riviera was in 1887.
posted by fraula at 10:04 AM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
This might not be the right time to perform this test; what if Katla erupts soon after?
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 10:09 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 10:09 AM on April 23, 2010
Breast of the web.
posted by the painkiller at 10:14 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by the painkiller at 10:14 AM on April 23, 2010
I think it's telling that the only person on my Facebook feed who "became a fan" of Boobquake was an 18-year-old college guy.
posted by naju at 10:43 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by naju at 10:43 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
female empowerment by standing up to idiotic reasoning
Somehow I don't feel very empowered by what amounts to the internet telling me to show my tits.
posted by immlass at 10:55 AM on April 23, 2010 [9 favorites]
Somehow I don't feel very empowered by what amounts to the internet telling me to show my tits.
posted by immlass at 10:55 AM on April 23, 2010 [9 favorites]
This might not be the right time to perform this test; what if Katla erupts soon after?
You call yours Katla, too?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:09 AM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
You call yours Katla, too?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:09 AM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
"Somehow I don't feel very empowered by what amounts to the internet telling me to show my tits."
But it's for SCIENCE!
(Or, if you prefer the puerile sixth-grade version of that comment: "Butt tit's for science!")
posted by klangklangston at 11:32 AM on April 23, 2010
But it's for SCIENCE!
(Or, if you prefer the puerile sixth-grade version of that comment: "Butt tit's for science!")
posted by klangklangston at 11:32 AM on April 23, 2010
“This is ALL Sammy Hagar's fault.”
You can’t blame Hagar for earthquakes. Car accidents sure, the man is incapable of driving less than 55 miles per hour.
For earthquakes I blame Sir Mix-a-Lot.
I have to agree with some of the criticism, if it's not done in a serious manner it could turn into 'Girls Gone Wild' type exploitation (wow, I hate those shows with a passion. Even the commercials just piss me off).
And I think that's essentially what the Iranian clerics are on about (apart from the persecution of the Bahai, and others* and apart from the whole 'if you're against me you're against God thing that these types of folks all seem to lock themselves into), that promiscuity destroys a society.
Of course, they're ass-backwards on that as well (blaming women - for example - 'if a female (virgin) was raped due to her not maintaining the laws of Hijaab, she is partly to be blamed as the rapist will be considered as being seduced by her revealing form and shape. She should repent.'), but there's a revulsion to open expression of sexuality that seems to be the flip side of the Girls Gone Wild exploitation coin.
So this does indeed seem like a Hobson's choice in that sense. Especially as it stems from complete satire (hell she even says 'modest proposal') in the first place.
But what would amount to a successful expression against the theocracy?
The strikes and demonstrations in '78 were pretty powerful, but those were organized in mosques (and had an obvious target - the Shah, and an immediate war). Just boobs? Yeah, I don't know about that.
*wasn't so long ago Hojatoleslam Gholam Reza Hassani was calling for the execution of women (as well as their husbands and their fathers) who don't respect the hijab after some Kurdish feminists were arrested for being in a subversive organization.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:34 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
You can’t blame Hagar for earthquakes. Car accidents sure, the man is incapable of driving less than 55 miles per hour.
For earthquakes I blame Sir Mix-a-Lot.
I have to agree with some of the criticism, if it's not done in a serious manner it could turn into 'Girls Gone Wild' type exploitation (wow, I hate those shows with a passion. Even the commercials just piss me off).
And I think that's essentially what the Iranian clerics are on about (apart from the persecution of the Bahai, and others* and apart from the whole 'if you're against me you're against God thing that these types of folks all seem to lock themselves into), that promiscuity destroys a society.
Of course, they're ass-backwards on that as well (blaming women - for example - 'if a female (virgin) was raped due to her not maintaining the laws of Hijaab, she is partly to be blamed as the rapist will be considered as being seduced by her revealing form and shape. She should repent.'), but there's a revulsion to open expression of sexuality that seems to be the flip side of the Girls Gone Wild exploitation coin.
So this does indeed seem like a Hobson's choice in that sense. Especially as it stems from complete satire (hell she even says 'modest proposal') in the first place.
But what would amount to a successful expression against the theocracy?
The strikes and demonstrations in '78 were pretty powerful, but those were organized in mosques (and had an obvious target - the Shah, and an immediate war). Just boobs? Yeah, I don't know about that.
*wasn't so long ago Hojatoleslam Gholam Reza Hassani was calling for the execution of women (as well as their husbands and their fathers) who don't respect the hijab after some Kurdish feminists were arrested for being in a subversive organization.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:34 AM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
264 Days and Counting for American Hikers in Iranian Custody
posted by homunculus at 11:39 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by homunculus at 11:39 AM on April 23, 2010
I love when some sexist dope says something sexist and dopey about women and modesty, which causes women to react extremely immodestly. Now if only I could get Rush or Hannity to say something about how girls wearing short skirts and stripey stockings is what caused the Iceland volcano or something...
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:42 AM on April 23, 2010
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:42 AM on April 23, 2010
264 Days and Counting for American Hikers in Iranian Custody
Anybody keeping count for hoder?
posted by Pollomacho at 11:43 AM on April 23, 2010
Anybody keeping count for hoder?
posted by Pollomacho at 11:43 AM on April 23, 2010
Anybody keeping count for hoder?
In answer my own rhetorical: yes!
posted by Pollomacho at 11:46 AM on April 23, 2010
In answer my own rhetorical: yes!
posted by Pollomacho at 11:46 AM on April 23, 2010
You can’t blame Hagar for earthquakes. Car accidents sure, the man is incapable of driving less than 55 miles per hour.
Actually, the man is incapable of driving *exactly* 55 miles per hour, if he is to be believed.
It really puts a lot into perspective. Because Sammy can't drive 55, it means he can't drive at any speed faster than 55, because to get there, he would have needed to, even if only for a second, driven 55 to get up to that speed.
So:
One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey!
Well, there's too much traffic, I can't pass, no!
An aside: Is Sammy pressing down both feet simultaneously? Depending on the strength of his brakes, this could be most of the problem right here. We never get at the heart of why, exactly, Sammy can't drive 55. Is it psychosomatic? A mechanical problem? The former, fantastic as it might be, really seems more likely.
Back on topic: Sammy doesn't clarify if his inability to pass is due to the amount of traffic (There's too much traffic THEREFORE I cannot pass) or if it is his personal feeling that there is too much traffic, but he is unable to get by the traffic, because doing so would force him to go over 55. The second argument, indeed, seems to be more likely, because any speed limit would probably be irrelevant in a situation where the amount of traffic stopped you from passing.
So I tried my best illegal move
A big black and white come and crushed my groove again!
Samuel, you rogue! By what standard is your best move illegal? State traffic laws, or whatever force is enforcing your 54 MPH cap? (Which, as shown above, is not the same thing.) And if it is this second force, what other moves do they consider illegal? I do like the idea that there's some sort of external, physical entity (with appropriate budget for staffing and vehicles, no less) here to enforce whatever has put Sammy in this position. Coincidentally, my eczema is running for Alderman this fall.
Of course, that's the lazy interpretation. We could also, just as easily/accurately, assume that a big black and white cookie has crushed his groove. And, again, is this groove physical? Either way, Sammy clearly tells us this is not the first time that a black and white has crushed his groove. He is the victim in all of this, after all.
Go on & write me up for 125
Post my face, wanted dead or alive
Now, the problem becomes much clearer. It's all in Sammy's head, and he's in trouble. He's actually taken to fantasizing about a world in which he CAN drive 55, and beyond! And how! 125! Goodness! What a sexy criminal Sammy has become in this fantasy world! He is so good at going 55 (and beyond!) that the authorities will allow him to be killed to stop the menace! (As shown below, this also might be a flashback.)
But soon, we're back to reality:
When I drive that slow, you know it's hard to steer.
And I can't get my car out of second gear.
What used to take two hours now takes all day.
Huh - It took me 16 hours to get to L.A.!
Finally, we reach a full picture of his circumstance, if not a clear understanding of how it came to be. (Clearly, his inability to get out of second gear is at fault, but can he not drive 55 because his car can't get out of second gear, or can he not get out of second gear because he can't drive 55?) Regardless, we see why this issue is so frustrating to him. Sammy, previously, was driving, even by modest estimates, an average of 330 mph! (assuming 12 hours of daylight.) Sixteen hours of 54 mph driving (assuming a few breaks for bathroom use and Eddie's solos) puts him somewhere outside of Salt Lake, and he used to be able to make this trip in just under three hours.
So please. Be reasonable. With a complex this twisted, you absolutely can blame Hagar for earthquakes.
posted by SpiffyRob at 12:46 PM on April 23, 2010 [6 favorites]
Actually, the man is incapable of driving *exactly* 55 miles per hour, if he is to be believed.
It really puts a lot into perspective. Because Sammy can't drive 55, it means he can't drive at any speed faster than 55, because to get there, he would have needed to, even if only for a second, driven 55 to get up to that speed.
So:
One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey!
Well, there's too much traffic, I can't pass, no!
An aside: Is Sammy pressing down both feet simultaneously? Depending on the strength of his brakes, this could be most of the problem right here. We never get at the heart of why, exactly, Sammy can't drive 55. Is it psychosomatic? A mechanical problem? The former, fantastic as it might be, really seems more likely.
Back on topic: Sammy doesn't clarify if his inability to pass is due to the amount of traffic (There's too much traffic THEREFORE I cannot pass) or if it is his personal feeling that there is too much traffic, but he is unable to get by the traffic, because doing so would force him to go over 55. The second argument, indeed, seems to be more likely, because any speed limit would probably be irrelevant in a situation where the amount of traffic stopped you from passing.
So I tried my best illegal move
A big black and white come and crushed my groove again!
Samuel, you rogue! By what standard is your best move illegal? State traffic laws, or whatever force is enforcing your 54 MPH cap? (Which, as shown above, is not the same thing.) And if it is this second force, what other moves do they consider illegal? I do like the idea that there's some sort of external, physical entity (with appropriate budget for staffing and vehicles, no less) here to enforce whatever has put Sammy in this position. Coincidentally, my eczema is running for Alderman this fall.
Of course, that's the lazy interpretation. We could also, just as easily/accurately, assume that a big black and white cookie has crushed his groove. And, again, is this groove physical? Either way, Sammy clearly tells us this is not the first time that a black and white has crushed his groove. He is the victim in all of this, after all.
Go on & write me up for 125
Post my face, wanted dead or alive
Now, the problem becomes much clearer. It's all in Sammy's head, and he's in trouble. He's actually taken to fantasizing about a world in which he CAN drive 55, and beyond! And how! 125! Goodness! What a sexy criminal Sammy has become in this fantasy world! He is so good at going 55 (and beyond!) that the authorities will allow him to be killed to stop the menace! (As shown below, this also might be a flashback.)
But soon, we're back to reality:
When I drive that slow, you know it's hard to steer.
And I can't get my car out of second gear.
What used to take two hours now takes all day.
Huh - It took me 16 hours to get to L.A.!
Finally, we reach a full picture of his circumstance, if not a clear understanding of how it came to be. (Clearly, his inability to get out of second gear is at fault, but can he not drive 55 because his car can't get out of second gear, or can he not get out of second gear because he can't drive 55?) Regardless, we see why this issue is so frustrating to him. Sammy, previously, was driving, even by modest estimates, an average of 330 mph! (assuming 12 hours of daylight.) Sixteen hours of 54 mph driving (assuming a few breaks for bathroom use and Eddie's solos) puts him somewhere outside of Salt Lake, and he used to be able to make this trip in just under three hours.
So please. Be reasonable. With a complex this twisted, you absolutely can blame Hagar for earthquakes.
posted by SpiffyRob at 12:46 PM on April 23, 2010 [6 favorites]
"Saying that women are murderers for wearing the wrong clothing does not get made funny by you telling us what you like to whack off to"
Yeah, but to be fair, saying that women are murderers for wearing the wrong clothing is kind of funny already. And a woman trying to prove them wrong, when we all already know they're wrong, by using the dumbest means against them is also funny. Not tremendously enlightening, but moderately funny.
That lots of us like to jerk off isn't very funny, I will give you that. It's more pathetic. Which is also a kind of funny. Kind of.
posted by klangklangston at 12:51 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Yeah, but to be fair, saying that women are murderers for wearing the wrong clothing is kind of funny already. And a woman trying to prove them wrong, when we all already know they're wrong, by using the dumbest means against them is also funny. Not tremendously enlightening, but moderately funny.
That lots of us like to jerk off isn't very funny, I will give you that. It's more pathetic. Which is also a kind of funny. Kind of.
posted by klangklangston at 12:51 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
“So please. Be reasonable. With a complex this twisted, you absolutely can blame Hagar for earthquakes.”
SpiffyRob I deeply respect your argument, but I think some of your premises are flawed.
From the outset: indeed can we believe Hagar? There’s only one individual here who’s testimony is predicated on honesty from the outset and that’s Mr. Sir Mix-a-Lot.
I like big butts and I can not lie
In order to cause an earthquake Hagar would have to drive – even if we believe his fantastic 330 mph – a vehicle of brobdignian proportions impacting with hundreds, if not thousands of cars at the same time. Even were this to occur the impact could produce, perhaps at best, an approximate energy of 6 tons of TNT which is a paltry 4.0 magnitude.
Even then, Hagar would have to take this gigantic indestructible vehicle out again on the road to cause yet more destruction. Given it takes him 16 hours to reach L.A. we can’t be certain of his puissance.
Sir-Mix-a-Lot on the other hand not only exhorts his listeners to shake anatomically impactful body parts, but encourages other to do so:
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
So unlike Hagar we have an exponentially growing factor of energy, not only in participants, but in future participants Mix-a-Lot seems bent on creating:
Give me a sister, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
If Sir Mix a Lot can get just 6 people to engage in ass shaking (and he’s got his own telephone hotline to do so Dial 1-900-MIXALOT), those six can go on to encourage 36 others who then engage 216, then 1,296 … after enough time one billion asses are being shaken which is equal to roughly 500 tons of TNT or past 5 magnitude on the earthquake scale.
And of course this would go on for some time generating even more earthquake activity. He even boasts about the amount of detrition he wants to create over time:
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
If this ass shaking is in sync, perhaps as a logarithmic response to Sir Mix a Lot’s music, in aggregate the amount of energy created could be well over 99,000,000 tons of TNT, more than enough to create constant ongoing earthquakes of 9.0 magnitude.
Now I’ll grant, I’m completely making up those numbers and most of the facts. But what is an established fact is that earthquakes were unknown on earth until Sir Mix-a-Lot began recording.
Although this does coincide with the date Sammy Hagar joined Van Halen – coincidence!?
I think we can at least agree that the discovery by a geophysical mining engineer of subterranean labyrinths beneath Los Angeles to an underground city built by an advanced race of “Lizard People” to escape surface catastrophes some 5000 years ago is at least near the root of this. (Indeed - who gave Mix-a-Lot his knighthood if not the Serpent king, Zahhak, who was said to have ruled Iran for a thousand years?)
But whether the Red Rocker or Mix-a-Lot is the mastermind behind the earthquake loving reptilians remains perhaps debatable. But I do appreciate your input on the matter. Perhaps we're both overlooking the impact of former Air Force personnel such as Nathaniel Martin Stroman.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:06 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
SpiffyRob I deeply respect your argument, but I think some of your premises are flawed.
From the outset: indeed can we believe Hagar? There’s only one individual here who’s testimony is predicated on honesty from the outset and that’s Mr. Sir Mix-a-Lot.
I like big butts and I can not lie
In order to cause an earthquake Hagar would have to drive – even if we believe his fantastic 330 mph – a vehicle of brobdignian proportions impacting with hundreds, if not thousands of cars at the same time. Even were this to occur the impact could produce, perhaps at best, an approximate energy of 6 tons of TNT which is a paltry 4.0 magnitude.
Even then, Hagar would have to take this gigantic indestructible vehicle out again on the road to cause yet more destruction. Given it takes him 16 hours to reach L.A. we can’t be certain of his puissance.
Sir-Mix-a-Lot on the other hand not only exhorts his listeners to shake anatomically impactful body parts, but encourages other to do so:
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
So unlike Hagar we have an exponentially growing factor of energy, not only in participants, but in future participants Mix-a-Lot seems bent on creating:
Give me a sister, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
If Sir Mix a Lot can get just 6 people to engage in ass shaking (and he’s got his own telephone hotline to do so Dial 1-900-MIXALOT), those six can go on to encourage 36 others who then engage 216, then 1,296 … after enough time one billion asses are being shaken which is equal to roughly 500 tons of TNT or past 5 magnitude on the earthquake scale.
And of course this would go on for some time generating even more earthquake activity. He even boasts about the amount of detrition he wants to create over time:
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
If this ass shaking is in sync, perhaps as a logarithmic response to Sir Mix a Lot’s music, in aggregate the amount of energy created could be well over 99,000,000 tons of TNT, more than enough to create constant ongoing earthquakes of 9.0 magnitude.
Now I’ll grant, I’m completely making up those numbers and most of the facts. But what is an established fact is that earthquakes were unknown on earth until Sir Mix-a-Lot began recording.
Although this does coincide with the date Sammy Hagar joined Van Halen – coincidence!?
I think we can at least agree that the discovery by a geophysical mining engineer of subterranean labyrinths beneath Los Angeles to an underground city built by an advanced race of “Lizard People” to escape surface catastrophes some 5000 years ago is at least near the root of this. (Indeed - who gave Mix-a-Lot his knighthood if not the Serpent king, Zahhak, who was said to have ruled Iran for a thousand years?)
But whether the Red Rocker or Mix-a-Lot is the mastermind behind the earthquake loving reptilians remains perhaps debatable. But I do appreciate your input on the matter. Perhaps we're both overlooking the impact of former Air Force personnel such as Nathaniel Martin Stroman.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:06 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
electroboy: The Taliban and the Mujahideen are not the same thing.
The Taliban are a subset of the Reagan's mujahideen.
The Taliban are one of the mujahideen ("holy warriors" or "freedom fighters") groups that formed during the war against the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan (1979-89).
“These gentlemen are the moral equivalents of America’s founding fathers.”
— Ronald Regan while introducing the Mujahideen leaders to media on the White house lawns
I never tire of reminding people of this.
posted by three blind mice at 2:06 PM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]
The Taliban are a subset of the Reagan's mujahideen.
The Taliban are one of the mujahideen ("holy warriors" or "freedom fighters") groups that formed during the war against the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan (1979-89).
“These gentlemen are the moral equivalents of America’s founding fathers.”
— Ronald Regan while introducing the Mujahideen leaders to media on the White house lawns
I never tire of reminding people of this.
posted by three blind mice at 2:06 PM on April 23, 2010 [4 favorites]
Something happened a long time ago, and people might not want to talk about it. Boobs were under the oppression of the bras... and they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, "We will serve you if you'll get us free from the bras." True story. And so the devil said, "OK, it's a deal." They took the boobies out. The women revolted and burned their bras. Ever since, the boobies have been cursed by one thing after the other.
posted by qvantamon at 2:52 PM on April 23, 2010
posted by qvantamon at 2:52 PM on April 23, 2010
> So please. Be reasonable. With a complex this twisted, you absolutely can blame Hagar for earthquakes.
Metafilter needs to have annual (monthly?) BeanplateTM awards just for posts like this.
posted by Decimask at 4:00 PM on April 23, 2010
Metafilter needs to have annual (monthly?) BeanplateTM awards just for posts like this.
posted by Decimask at 4:00 PM on April 23, 2010
Anybody keeping count for hoder?
In answer my own rhetorical: yes!
Also here.
posted by homunculus at 4:01 PM on April 23, 2010
In answer my own rhetorical: yes!
Also here.
posted by homunculus at 4:01 PM on April 23, 2010
You call yours Katla, too?
On the (very) rare occasions when a name is needed, I use "Heavy D and the Boys" for mine.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:15 PM on April 23, 2010
On the (very) rare occasions when a name is needed, I use "Heavy D and the Boys" for mine.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:15 PM on April 23, 2010
The Taliban are a subset of the Reagan's mujahideen.
No, they really aren't. The Taliban were essentially created by Pakistan's ISI in the power vacuum following the Soviet withdrawal. The Northern Alliance under Massoud were the Mujaheddin that Reagan was supporting. The Taliban didn't come until much later.
posted by electroboy at 6:04 PM on April 23, 2010
No, they really aren't. The Taliban were essentially created by Pakistan's ISI in the power vacuum following the Soviet withdrawal. The Northern Alliance under Massoud were the Mujaheddin that Reagan was supporting. The Taliban didn't come until much later.
posted by electroboy at 6:04 PM on April 23, 2010
Unfortunately, it doesn't really seem like a good test. Sooner or later something bad will happen and who is to say this wasn't the cause.
Rebecca Watson had that same thought. I think we can avoid this if we implement a more controlled experimental design.
First of all, we don't really know what our hypothesis is. All Sedighi said was that immodestly-dressed women cause earthquakes. Is that region-specific? Are immodestly-dressed women in Iran causing earthquakes in Iran? Or is it a more general hypothesis? Immodestly dressed women in the entire world population cause earthquakes all over the world.
Second, what's the definition of immodestly-dressed? Are we talking showing ankle? Uncovered hair? Wearing pants? We need a real working definition of modest dress in order to quantify the number of immodest women vs modest women.
We are going to have to make some assumptions based on Sedighi's statement. If we assume that the immodesty/earthquake correlation is regional (so, if you live in an area where there are more immodestly dressed women then there will be more earthquakes), then we'd need an experimental group and a control group. We'll have to tell women in one region of the world to dress modestly (for the sake of argument, we'll define modest as wearing a burqa) and women in another region can dress as immodestly as they want. Then we just count the earthquakes. We'd also need an accurate count of the women in each region and what they were wearing. Really, this shouldn't be too difficult to do.
Or, you know, we could all just show our boobs.
posted by lexicakes at 7:00 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Rebecca Watson had that same thought. I think we can avoid this if we implement a more controlled experimental design.
First of all, we don't really know what our hypothesis is. All Sedighi said was that immodestly-dressed women cause earthquakes. Is that region-specific? Are immodestly-dressed women in Iran causing earthquakes in Iran? Or is it a more general hypothesis? Immodestly dressed women in the entire world population cause earthquakes all over the world.
Second, what's the definition of immodestly-dressed? Are we talking showing ankle? Uncovered hair? Wearing pants? We need a real working definition of modest dress in order to quantify the number of immodest women vs modest women.
We are going to have to make some assumptions based on Sedighi's statement. If we assume that the immodesty/earthquake correlation is regional (so, if you live in an area where there are more immodestly dressed women then there will be more earthquakes), then we'd need an experimental group and a control group. We'll have to tell women in one region of the world to dress modestly (for the sake of argument, we'll define modest as wearing a burqa) and women in another region can dress as immodestly as they want. Then we just count the earthquakes. We'd also need an accurate count of the women in each region and what they were wearing. Really, this shouldn't be too difficult to do.
Or, you know, we could all just show our boobs.
posted by lexicakes at 7:00 PM on April 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
You can count me in. I will be sporting an uncommon amount on boobage on Monday. I will even encourage men to get a good look, and while they are sneaking peaks, I will explain our experiment. Not only will this not be difficult, it will probably be fun. I rarely get a chance to show cleavage, or even a real desire to, but the silliness of this proposal has got me excited to hoist the girls into a pushup bra and bare them to the light of the sun.
posted by msali at 8:38 PM on April 23, 2010
posted by msali at 8:38 PM on April 23, 2010
My sister studies earthquakes, dresses modestly and is nowhere near having, er, huge tracts of land. These may not be coincidences.
posted by ambient2 at 10:28 PM on April 23, 2010
posted by ambient2 at 10:28 PM on April 23, 2010
Secretly Filmed Movie Highlights Tehran’s Gutsy Rock Scene
posted by homunculus at 8:56 AM on April 24, 2010
posted by homunculus at 8:56 AM on April 24, 2010
I am even going to make a button that reads "Ask me why you can see my boobs today!"
posted by msali at 10:35 AM on April 24, 2010
posted by msali at 10:35 AM on April 24, 2010
Am I the only one hoping that there is a massive quake on the 26th.
Probably, but: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36772858/ns/world_news-asiapacific/
posted by vbfg at 6:30 AM on April 26, 2010
Probably, but: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36772858/ns/world_news-asiapacific/
posted by vbfg at 6:30 AM on April 26, 2010
Haha silliness abounds. I wonder what the cleric says now.
posted by anti social order at 9:59 AM on April 27, 2010
posted by anti social order at 9:59 AM on April 27, 2010
Suntanned women to be arrested under Islamic dress code: Iran has warned suntanned women and girls who looked like "walking mannequins" will be arrested as part of a new drive to enforce the Islamic dress code.
posted by homunculus at 3:45 PM on April 28, 2010
posted by homunculus at 3:45 PM on April 28, 2010
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push-upproposal to test this hypothesis.It has plenty of support, and in all the right places.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 7:38 AM on April 23, 2010 [3 favorites]