I see.

April 30, 2010 4:04 PM

I'd rather measure the diameter of a dove than go barter-shopping with a frilly lion. (Lots of Previously.)
posted by blue funk (21 comments total)

Going to a yard sale, on the other hand....
posted by y2karl at 4:48 PM on April 30, 2010

Don't you just hate it when you crucify chickens and your Wankel rotary engine gets dodgy?
posted by chambers at 4:54 PM on April 30, 2010

"On the fifth day of Christmas, my underwater love sent to me; five shagged-out hedge-trimmers! Four very, very big merkins, three diesel-powered sten guns, two stunned staplers and a beast in a tree." Seasonal surrealism! For the wrong season, appropriately.

The above and some others of the surreal messages are too long for the speech bubble in the graphic. Or is that part of the surrealism? (if I mismatch text and graphic, can I cop out and say it was surreal?)

MetaFilter: Keeping It Surreal

MetaFilter: Home of Lady DaDa
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:04 PM on April 30, 2010

Ha, y2karl - the first "Previously" (in "Lots") is an old post of yours!

I've been texting people I know some of these - with no preamble or explanation. My mother thought it was funny, but didn't understand what it was. My mate simply hasn't replied. He's probably googling it heh.
posted by blue funk at 5:17 PM on April 30, 2010

Is Racter back?
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:30 PM on April 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

"I wish you wouldn't predict the weather using those bastards."
posted by subbes at 5:41 PM on April 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

The surrel programming errors are kind of nice,though they have far more reference to the real world than actual programming errors typically do...

"newt.c:48: dead error in 'leprechaun()' - 'prawn' undeclared"
posted by kaibutsu at 5:53 PM on April 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

That's the same guy who used to have that vampire game, right? Anyone here remember it?
posted by ambulocetus at 5:55 PM on April 30, 2010

"About this time of night, I like to behead Ronald McDonald."

I fail to see what's particularly surreal about that. It's pretty commonplace, really.
posted by Nothing... and like it at 5:57 PM on April 30, 2010 [2 favorites]

If you hurt my vodka, I'll feed baby food to your fairy godmother...

Game over man. Game over!
posted by Splunge at 5:59 PM on April 30, 2010

In answer to your question, because ice cream has no bones.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 6:03 PM on April 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Marilyn Manson told me you have a tender carpet tile..."

The rumor is true! It's so fucking tender under all that shag.
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 6:36 PM on April 30, 2010

"I'm a cello and I'm okay - I feel hammocks all night and I pull rubber bands all day."

"I'm talking - I'd better not straddle a kebab."

"I may have the bird dropping of a pine-fresh and unsteady map, but I have the stickleback and beast of a Post-It note."

it just struck me... "Random Surrealism" is redundant.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:53 PM on April 30, 2010

This tastes more like a non-sequitur, like the time I put it in a turkey.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 7:02 PM on April 30, 2010

I'm a level 5 Grasshopper, in sieve-world! I've got a magic nickel and everything!

How will I ever take a hedge-trimmer to a particle accelerator now?
posted by Quack at 8:52 PM on April 30, 2010

My mother always told me I should never peel a banana for blow-up dolls.
posted by Ouisch at 9:13 PM on April 30, 2010

"A laboratory rat in the sock is worth two in the corpse."

I'll go along with that.
posted by darkstar at 10:07 PM on April 30, 2010

"Why can't spoons flick rubber bands at tripods?"
But they can. They can.
posted by kinnakeet at 12:14 PM on May 1, 2010

Ooh, I'm so glistening, I could charge headlong at a straightjacket!
posted by tawny at 12:39 PM on May 1, 2010

This site needs more lobsters.

Also, lederhosen.
posted by Nothing... and like it at 1:21 PM on May 1, 2010

Are you a cemetery gate or a fairy cake?

Well?
posted by rubah at 4:09 PM on May 3, 2010