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Take me out to the ballg ... don't tase me, bro!
May 4, 2010 8:57 AM   Subscribe

Buy me some peanuts and crackerjack, I don't ca ... TASER! Phillies fan disrupts game by running onto field, and gets tasered in center field. It's cool, he asked his dad for permission first.
posted by Cool Papa Bell (129 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
On the one hand, I find these incidents disturbing; isn't the use of TASER devices supposed to be limited to more serious situations than this? On the other hand, it'd be a lot more disturbing if this kind of thing didn't make the news.
posted by infinitywaltz at 9:02 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Also, he should've barfed on them afterwards.
posted by infinitywaltz at 9:03 AM on May 4, 2010 [10 favorites]


I can only assume that if a Taser were not available, they would have shot him to death with a standard firearm. I hope he sues that fat fuck and the Phillies for millions.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 9:05 AM on May 4, 2010 [26 favorites]


Back in my day they just kicked the shit out of you once you were out of view of the public. Is it so hard to wait the extra minute or two before you take your aggression out on a fan with poor judgement?
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 9:09 AM on May 4, 2010 [6 favorites]


I can only assume that if a Taser were not available, they would have shot him to death with a standard firearm.

Shit, man, this was on national TV, now imagine you're a kid on a corner in North Philly after dark!
posted by The Straightener at 9:11 AM on May 4, 2010 [11 favorites]


Don't taze me Gload!
posted by Pollomacho at 9:12 AM on May 4, 2010


That's the most enthusiastic running I've seen on a baseball diamond since Pete Rose retired.
posted by chavenet at 9:14 AM on May 4, 2010 [12 favorites]


The problem with using Tasers in these kinds of situations is not that a kid gets shocked and then hauled off the field, it's that every so often someone dies from it. Just imagine the kind of shitstorm that would erupt if a Taser had killed this white middle class kid in front of all of those people, as opposed to the hundreds of cases where anonymous people die of heart attacks in the back of police cruisers.
posted by burnmp3s at 9:15 AM on May 4, 2010 [10 favorites]


Waaaaait a minute, I almost forgot that our cops also do just shoot people in broad daylight.
posted by The Straightener at 9:16 AM on May 4, 2010 [5 favorites]


I could just be projecting, but the body language of that cop suggests that he reaches for his Taser as reflexively as someone might scratch their itchy nose. These people absolutely need to have better training to restrain them from treating the Taser like some kind of bionic appendage of their God given authority or something. Pathetic.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:16 AM on May 4, 2010 [8 favorites]


Come on. Anyone with a clear and sensible mind would 100% support the use of a Taser on a Philly sports fan, whether they ran onto the field of play, or were just shopping in the grocery store, or walking down the street, or asleep in their bed.
posted by xmutex at 9:17 AM on May 4, 2010 [38 favorites]


The body language of that cop suggests he eats too much donuts and was getting out of breath. It was obviously a life or death situation for him - if he had to run one more minute he may have had a cardiac arrest.
posted by JJ86 at 9:19 AM on May 4, 2010 [8 favorites]


I would totally support using a tazer on the Philly Phanatic. What the heck, use a phaser!
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:20 AM on May 4, 2010


What's it they say about Phillie's fans?
posted by ericb at 9:21 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Come on. Anyone with a clear and sensible mind would 100% support the use of a Taser on a Philly sports fan, whether they ran onto the field of play, or were just shopping in the grocery store, or walking down the street, or asleep in their bed.

Seriously! They were just using a Taser to be efficient. You know how long it would take to throw 5,556 9-volt batteries?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:22 AM on May 4, 2010 [24 favorites]


Are we sure the towel wasn't filled with bars of soap? Because that drove Pvt. Pyle to suicide.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:24 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm glad there weren't tasers in wide use back when I was in college.

I went to college just outside Philadelphia. We went in for the last home game of the season, and got bleacher seats. The Phillies were so terrible we started chanting "Let's Go Flyers!" and got most of the bleachers doing it. (Got mentioned in the paper, too.)

Nowadays they've have tasered us for it.
posted by mephron at 9:24 AM on May 4, 2010


Imagine if the lad had been naked like Erykah Badu too?
posted by Jody Tresidder at 9:25 AM on May 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


This type of insane taser story becoming more common along with the official response that the officer was "within guidelines." In my area tasers are in the news recently because county deputies tased an 85 year old resident of a state veterans nursing home because he was uncontrollably distraught over the death of his wife. The county's statement? The officer was just following policy.
posted by greasy_skillet at 9:25 AM on May 4, 2010 [10 favorites]


Exactly right, burnmp3s. There is basically no reason for the taser to be the "go-to" non-lethal takedown for all law enforcement and rent-a-cop scenarios. This is incredibly cavalier and dangerous.

Also, stop it with the running on the field. While (purely because of the risk burnmp3s identified) you shouldn't be tased, you deserve a tackling and an arraignment. And if you insist on adding to my four hours at the stadium, you best come with some entertaining shit. Organize a flash mob field storm. At the very least have the courtesy to streak or put on some bondage gear. Freak some squares.
posted by kosem at 9:26 AM on May 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


What's it they say about Phillie's fans?

MeTa
posted by TedW at 9:29 AM on May 4, 2010


"Let's Go Flyers!"

Seriously! People are going to baseball games when the Flyers are in the playoffs against the Bruins? This is an epic matchup, people! Although I suppose if your intention is to strip down and run around on the field of play, a baseball diamond is a lot smarter venue than a hockey rink.
posted by Kirk Grim at 9:31 AM on May 4, 2010


"He said, 'Dad, can I run on the field? I said, 'I don't think you should, son.' "

Seriously? This is what you say to your son when he asks if it's OK to break the law not to mention make an ass out of himself?

How about telling the kid you're going to disown his ass and he's not going to get a dime from you when he goes off to college.
posted by photoslob at 9:33 AM on May 4, 2010


"It's a once in a lifetime opportunity!" Um, no. You are allowed to go to more than one game in your lifetime.

I don't think he should have been tased... but I won't be so surprised if the Dean of Admissions at Penn State sees this and says, "Fuck that. We got enough morons coming here next year." and scratches his name off the list.
posted by dobbs at 9:33 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


My favorite graphic of the event.

Contrast the experience of another fan nearly a year ago, who ran out on the field and was treated to a fist bump from Pedro Feliz and no voltage.

And if you insist on adding to my four hours at the stadium, you best come with some entertaining shit.

I read someone's tweet this morning supporting the tasering of anyone who made baseball games longer--and that included Big Papi.
posted by gladly at 9:36 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


.
posted by fixedgear at 9:38 AM on May 4, 2010


"It's a once in a lifetime opportunity!" Um, no. You are allowed to go to more than one game in your lifetime.

I interpreted that statement as it was the kid's one chance to do something stupid without any serious consequences since he was a minor. Like a 14 year old stealing a sports car for a joy ride or something. Not that it wasn't a terrible idea, but that sentiment is not unheard of.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:39 AM on May 4, 2010


Kirk Grim: this was in 1986. Go look at the Phillies record in 1986. The joke was that they dug a new basement for them to be in.
posted by mephron at 9:39 AM on May 4, 2010


To be fair to the Philadelphia police, they would have stopped tasering sooner, but the fans kept throwing batteries.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:42 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


the body language of that cop suggests that he reaches for his Taser as reflexively as someone might scratch their itchy nose

I got more of a Yay! Now's my chance! Wheee! sort of vibe.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:42 AM on May 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


Ok how do we get this cop a job with the Mets? Maybe like first base coach? Then he could subtly taser Ryan Howard as he came down the baseline.
posted by spicynuts at 9:46 AM on May 4, 2010


No jokes here: fuck anyone who tasers the non-violent
posted by Damn That Television at 9:50 AM on May 4, 2010 [19 favorites]


I guess I'm in the minority, but after ten seconds of watching that stupid jackass running around like a feeb I laughed my ass off when he dropped like a sack of hammers.
posted by docpops at 9:51 AM on May 4, 2010 [5 favorites]


I guess I'm in the minority, but after ten seconds of watching that stupid jackass running around like a feeb I laughed my ass off when he dropped like a sack of hammers.

Too many viewings of "Dumb and Dumber".
posted by Burhanistan at 9:52 AM on May 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


Long ago, a fan ran around on the field during a Dallas Cowboys game. Mike Ditka, charging at full speed in full pads and helmet, blindsided the guy and knocked him out cold. I wish I could find a clip of it.
posted by Daddy-O at 9:53 AM on May 4, 2010


oneswellfoop: Why you talkin' smack on The Phanatic? Don't go there.
posted by gnutron at 9:55 AM on May 4, 2010


You know who else got tased at a baseball game?





That's right, Epic Beard Man.
posted by fixedgear at 9:56 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Give a man a shock, he'll shock for a day.
Teach a man to shock, he'll shock for a lifetime.
posted by symbioid at 10:01 AM on May 4, 2010


As I often wonder in these cops-go-too-far situations, why can't they just sit on him? Especially considering the burly fellows involved in this incident.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:05 AM on May 4, 2010


I've noticed over the past few years a disturbing drop in people's level of patience. I'm wondering if this doesn't play a role in the pressures that, for instance, this security guy may have felt he was under from the audience to quickly resolve the issue. They could have just let him run for awhile.

This weekend I was in line for a campground. Normally this is a super relaxed atmosphere. This year they'd gotten a new computer system which made check-in a slow process, resulting in a line of about five cars where normally you'd be right through the gate.

This resulted in irate people, shouting, driving over grassy areas, through "no entry" signs... it was utter chaos. Incredibly insane from my perspective as I sat there waiting for my paperwork to get completed.

I've seen this kind of impatience in a lot of different social settings, too. It's unsettling.
posted by odinsdream at 10:12 AM on May 4, 2010 [3 favorites]


I would be interested to see statistics on deaths & injuries from Tasers and how they stack up against other non-lethal uses of force.

In speaking with cops on the subject -- real, breathing cops, not stereotypes -- I've heard many of them say that the taser is much less likely to cause an injury than tackling someone and throwing punches. Not every cop is a judo master.

That said, I haven't watched this particular video. It's baseball. Everyone who feeds money and attention into such a dismally boring sport should be tased.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 10:15 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


why can't they just sit on him?

Because that's an easier way to kill someone accidentally than with a Taser?
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:15 AM on May 4, 2010


Hey, has someone made a joke about throwing batteries yet?
posted by inigo2 at 10:17 AM on May 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


why didn't they just ship him off to houston as a pinch runner?
posted by pyramid termite at 10:18 AM on May 4, 2010


Rather than chasing them, tackling them or tasering them, I think they should just let these fans run around the field for a few minutes until they realize they're out in the middle of a ball field with no real plan beyond "jump over the fence and don't get caught." I imagine they'd eventually just stop, hang their head low, and walk off the field like an idiot.
posted by bondcliff at 10:19 AM on May 4, 2010 [18 favorites]


Yes they have, try reading the thread
posted by spicynuts at 10:19 AM on May 4, 2010


It's baseball. Everyone who feeds money and attention into such a dismally boring sport should be tased.

Your favourite pastime sucks. (Especially if it's football.)
posted by Sys Rq at 10:21 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


As I often wonder in these cops-go-too-far situations, why can't they just sit on him? Especially considering the burly fellows involved in this incident.

Because the taser has become the standard go-to problem solver of choice for the many stripes of power-hungry street-level dickheads out there. Use of the taser went from a way to deal with a violent suspect, to a way to deal with someone not following orders, to way to deal with anything that you can't immediately resolve in 5 seconds.

Why the fuck do you have security guards who can't catch a goddamn college student running around on your field? That's like having a really short Asian female Buddhist as the bouncer at Knifey O'Hooligan's Pub + Publik Stabbinge House, or Pau Gasol entering a "Who's the shortest person" contest. It's not like some idiot running on the field is an unheard-of development -- it's pretty much the only thing that happens at baseball games (including baseball!!!!!!!! Ha ha ha).

Just fucking catch the guy, tackle him, and cuff him. Or let him run around for another minute until he's exhausted himself and gives himself up. This shit makes me sick.
posted by Damn That Television at 10:25 AM on May 4, 2010 [11 favorites]


I guess his crime is Gleeful Trespass & Resisting Arrest In A Manner Which Makes The Arresting Officer Look Like He Is Playing Tag?

The police can use a tasser on fleeing suspects. I guess I see how "feeing" can easily become "running," but the kid was running around on a baseball diamond, not legging it away from a liquor stoor with the cash drawer held to his chest.
posted by Hoenikker at 10:26 AM on May 4, 2010


You see what normally happens when they catch the on-field runners? They get walloped, full body tackled. Probably hurt worse with more deadly risk than a tasing. Not that I think tasing is that good idea either, but on the list of good ideas tasing can't be that far from "run out onto the field during the game, forcing security into action and igniting the bloodlust of the gathered crowd"

You can't just wait it out when there are 40 -50 thousand people and a TV cameras at play.
posted by dirtdirt at 10:28 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Hell yeah. These losers who just can't stop themselves from disrupting a game deserve the tackling and the tasing. I think I prefer when they get tackled but this was pretty great. He was having the time of his life until he found himself eating grass and pissing himself. Hell yeah!
posted by ReeMonster at 10:32 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


You can't just wait it out when there are 40 -50 thousand people and a TV cameras at play.

Let me ask the obvious question: Why not?
posted by odinsdream at 10:37 AM on May 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


Regarding players giving rowdy fans a beatdown, there was also this event from 2002.

The entire Royals dugout cleared and their bullpen rushed in from right field to help Gamboa. Several players jumped on the fans and punches were exchanged.

The White Sox players who were on the field ran over to see what was happening, turning first base into a wild scene. Security came on the field and tried to break it up, but it was several minutes before order was restored.

"Security did a good job cleaning it up," Royals first baseman Mike Sweeney said. "If it wasn't for them, we'd probably still be beating on those guys."


It was great seeing players from both teams kicking the shit out of these guys.

I think the Taser was a little much, though. Although you have no idea what could happen when you tackle someone, there should be "tiers" of appropriately violent responses you have to pass through before you get to the "Taser" entry on the dance card. If I were magically in charge of all cops, I'd double their salaries, triple their training and quadruple the standards we hold them to.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:39 AM on May 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


-I wonder how people would have reacted had the cop taken the kid down with a whack across the thigh with a wooden truncheon rather than the hi-tek zapper? If you can, get close enough and pool-cue him. That'll get his attention, and the cameras don't show you getting your Conan on. Fling it between his legs and trip him.

-Philly fans, they can get nasty
When "Joe Must Go", they run him out of town
I've seen Santa get hit by a snowball
And get hit again when he was down

posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 10:42 AM on May 4, 2010


why can't they just sit on him?

Because that's an easier way to kill someone accidentally than with a Taser?


Don't knock a good sitting on for deadly force!
posted by Pollomacho at 10:46 AM on May 4, 2010


why can't they just sit on him?

Because first you have to catch him? Tasers and lawsuits are a lot easier than increased PT standards.
posted by butterstick at 10:46 AM on May 4, 2010


Let me ask the obvious question: Why not?

Well, I guess on some level you can. They aren't hurting anybody. But I think most people agree that one knucklehead's desire to run out on the field shouldn't override 39,999 people's desire to watch the game. It's not like asking them to stop will stop them, they already KNOW it's against the rules, and probably against the law - but the thrill and excitement, and "once in a lifetime" aspect makes them override their better thoughts. They don't show the knuckleheads on TV because the notoriety is (thought to be) the main motivation. The idea goes that stopping them quickly gives a disincentive because 1) you won't get much time, and 2) you will get hurt.

I guess you could argue that they should just be able to wear themselves out playing keep-away in a 100,000 sq ft field, and, well, OK. I think it would result in a bigger problem.

And, again, I don't think tasing is a reasonable or proportionate response, but there has to be SOME response.
posted by dirtdirt at 10:59 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Has someone made a joke about the bad reputation of Philly fans yet? Something along those lines would be truly witty and inspired.
posted by ob at 11:07 AM on May 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


Look, when you watch the video, you clearly see that the staff has a corralling procedure to eventually catch the guy. Would've taken MAYBE an additional minute or two to close in on him and restrain him peacefully.

The list of ways to have handled this better is really long, but I suspect that one individuals humiliation in front of 43K people at the hands of an adolescent trumped any type of reasonable judgment that would have resulted in a proper, proportional response.
posted by butterstick at 11:08 AM on May 4, 2010


I agree that tasing is a disproportionate response.

Listen, the area is filled with conditioned athletes who can throw extremely well. My plan is let the guy run, have the grounds crew come out with buckets of balls for the players, and let the players barrage the runner with balls to see who can knock him off his pins. Fun for the crowd, unpleasant for the runner.
posted by found missing at 11:10 AM on May 4, 2010 [5 favorites]


You can't just wait it out when there are 40 -50 thousand people and a TV cameras at play

Have you ever seen baseball?
posted by rocket88 at 11:12 AM on May 4, 2010 [12 favorites]


No jokes here: fuck anyone who tasers the non-violent

No jokes here: in 2002 a drunken father/son combo in Chicago stormed the field and beat the Royals first base coach Tom Gamboa pretty badly. Security has absolutely no idea what the intentions are of someone who runs on the field- you want them to wait around until violence is committed?

Tase away.
posted by xmutex at 11:19 AM on May 4, 2010 [5 favorites]


You can't just wait it out when there are 40 -50 thousand people and a TV cameras at play.

I'd say that fifty thousand people, and a handful of television cameras, can give up a minute or two in exchange for the safety of a 17 year old boy, no matter how silly he looks.
posted by Hoenikker at 11:20 AM on May 4, 2010


I think tasers are used far too often for the officer's convenience or just as a way of getting back at unruly folks. Punch him and it is police brutality. Taser him and it is standard operating procedure. Anyway, this fool deserved it. Too bad they didn't have Mike Curtis there to take him down. I think I would rather be tasered than to take that hit. Ouch.
posted by caddis at 11:21 AM on May 4, 2010


Couldn't the Phillies just sue for lost revenue? A lost 30 ad? Wouldn't that cost prevent people from disrupting the game?
posted by zerobyproxy at 11:33 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


"It's baseball. Everyone who feeds money and attention into such a dismally boring sport should be tased."

Your favourite pastime sucks. (Especially if it's football.)
posted by Sys Rq at 10:21 AM on May 4</em

Hey now, some pastimes are OK, for instance how about if your favorite pastime is getting blowj...Oh right.

posted by 445supermag at 11:37 AM on May 4, 2010


your favorite html tag is open
posted by TedW at 11:43 AM on May 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


> "He said, 'Dad, can I run on the field? I said, 'I don't think you should, son.'

"This would be a once in a lifetime experience!" the son said.


"Your lifelong dream was to run out onto the field during a baseball game, and you did it last year, remember?"

Lulz aside...

> Security has absolutely no idea what the intentions are of someone who runs on the field- you want them to wait around until violence is committed?

In this case it seems fairly clear the kid didn't have any violent intent. He was just running around in circles and when he was actually tasered he was headed into center field, which was completely empty. They should have waited for him to run out of steam, hustled him out of there and fined his ass to the fullest extent of the law.

Of course, no-one on the field could read this kid's mind to determine he absolutely, positively wasn't a threat, but it's kind of disturbing how use of tasers is becoming the new normal in terms of cop/unruly civilian interactions.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:43 AM on May 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


xmutex: "you want them to wait around until violence is committed?"

Seriously? Hell yes I do.

Of course security guards should have been a hell of a lot quicker to deal with the KC thing, but that doesn't mean "tase everyone who steps onto a baseball field".
posted by graventy at 11:45 AM on May 4, 2010


No jokes here: in 2002 a drunken father/son combo in Chicago stormed the field and beat the Royals first base coach Tom Gamboa pretty badly. Security has absolutely no idea what the intentions are of someone who runs on the field- you want them to wait around until violence is committed?

It's not just the fans you have to watch out for!

Never Forget!!
posted by Pollomacho at 11:51 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Security has absolutely no idea what the intentions are of someone who runs on the field- you want them to wait around until violence is committed?

it's obvious that there was no violent intent by the time Paul Blart there squeezed his sausage fingers on the trigger. He was just out of breath and wanted to quit running so he used a potentially lethal weapon on a guy running in circles. Is anyone so dumb as to think the guy would have somehow gotten away if he hadn't been shot?
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:52 AM on May 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


They should flood the field and stock it with alligators. Then no fans would run onto the field!

Oh, who am I kidding? They would because of the alligators.
posted by dirigibleman at 11:55 AM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


They sat on this guy, he's dead.
posted by fixedgear at 11:56 AM on May 4, 2010


Paul Blart there squeezed his sausage fingers on the trigger

fat people are dumb and funny
posted by found missing at 11:57 AM on May 4, 2010


On a slightly off-topic note: All security personnel should both meet a certain level of physical fitness AND be physically intimidating.

Their job isn't just to catch the a-holes (which the average fat guy is incapable of doing); it's to prevent people from acting out in the first place.
posted by coolguymichael at 12:04 PM on May 4, 2010


xmutex: you want them to wait around until violence is committed?

Er. Yes? Or are you suggesting the police should be allowed to taser people if they think the person might possibly maybe be going to do something? I'm pretty sure there are laws about that kind of thing.
posted by tzikeh at 12:05 PM on May 4, 2010


I endorse found missing's proposal. I see no downside, other than possible head shots. Even one of those would surely discourage self-absorbed fans from inserting themselves into the playing space.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:06 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


I didn't even tell you about my other idea: Saddled-up cattle roper waiting in the bullpen.
posted by found missing at 12:08 PM on May 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


I was actually sitting a couple rows behind where this guy jumped onto the field.
posted by madcaptenor at 12:13 PM on May 4, 2010


I would normally side with the anti-taze mefites here, but I'm sorry, I don't think the next best option was for the security guards/cop to wait til he was tackled. Why should they risk their safety by allowing that jackass to charge them and get injured in the process?

Yes, there is a known degree of danger associated with security guard/cops, and most likely the teenager wouldn't have injured them in the event of a collision, but why take that chance? I'm troubled by how quickly some of you were to castigate the officer involved; its one thing to think he may have been a little aggressive, but please stop calling him a pathetic fat fuck.

I'm mostly curious as to what other alternatives (preferably non-violent) there were to taking this guy out. Instead of just blasting this cop for trying to resolve the situation, can anyone please suggest something better?
posted by andruwjones26 at 12:15 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


I was at this game and when the cop came running out after this kid, it looked like he had his gun drawn. Pretty relieved that it was just a taser.
posted by nomad at 12:17 PM on May 4, 2010


Paul Blart there squeezed his sausage fingers on the trigger

fat people are dumb and funny


I can't believe you like money too!
posted by Pollomacho at 12:22 PM on May 4, 2010


Er. Yes? Or are you suggesting the police should be allowed to taser people if they think the person might possibly maybe be going to do something? I'm pretty sure there are laws about that kind of thing.

Weird. I'm glad I live in a society where law enforcement takes threats to personal safety a little more serious than you and doesn't just wait around until people are beaten and murdered to provide that measure of safety.

It's quite clearly stated that should you run on to the field of play you will be arrested. Given that people have run on the field before and committed violence, it's no stretch at all to say that the police and team security have every right to fear that when the event occurs, so bravo to the Philly police.
posted by xmutex at 12:31 PM on May 4, 2010


Hey I saw The Last Boy Scout and sure it wasn't real but it could happen and since it could I want the cops to shoot anyone who even looks at a football field.
posted by graventy at 12:40 PM on May 4, 2010


Here's a horrid (though safe) alternative to tasing. Yuck.
posted by bearwife at 12:45 PM on May 4, 2010


Here's a horrid (though safe) alternative to tasing. Yuck.

Look forward to more innovative "safe" restraint devices to come. Don't be surprised if there is soon some kind of pulsed array wand that can send a radio kill switch to a person's cerebellum from 50 meters and stop them in their tracks. Tasing will seem rather sporting in retrospect.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:48 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Uh, did you read the linked article, Burhanistan? I'm not sure how I feel about the skunk wax but it isn't similar to a "radio kill switch to a person's cerebellum."
posted by bearwife at 12:52 PM on May 4, 2010




Instead of just blasting this cop for trying to resolve the situation, can anyone please suggest something better?

Well, let's look at the tape.

* Six people are converging on him from multiple angles, but all originating from the sides of the field -- the dugouts and bullpens.
* Presumably they're all shouting commands, but it will be difficult to hear them.
* Only one -- TaserGuy-- appears to be uniformed like a security guard. The others are wearing khakis and golf shirts. Every cop in the world will tell you that your uniform is the first line of defense. Most Americans will defer to a uniform, just out of social convention.
* Only TaserGuy appears to be armed with anything.
* It also appears that the security guards are a variety of ages and levels of physical fitness. Many of them aren't even near the guy before he goes down.

Ideas:

* More people stationed in more places. What if one guy was stationed in center field, emerging from a door in the wall?
* They all need to be wearing the same police-like uniform. Bonus points for subtle beneath-the-shirt body armor.
* They could all be brandishing handcuffs, flashlights, batons, pepper spray, etc.
* They should all be in the same age and range of physical fitness.
* Give one or two a bullhorn to shout commands that will be clearly heard.
* They should train for this. "OK guys, here's exactly how we're going to converge on a guy. Here's the order in which we'll use our weapons, if necessary. Here's how we'll keep our spacing. Here's the words to shout."

Note that this is without doing anything structural to the ballpark, like extending the foul ball netting in front of more fans. I venture to guess more people get injured by foul balls or accidentally thrown bats than ever even see someone rush the field.

One final thought -- many ballparks put actual police officers on each bench, and during gameplay transitions between innings, they emerge and stand in front of the dugout, scanning the crowd. Ideally, before anyone rushes the field, these cops are looking for groups young men getting drunk in the first few rows, and are maybe even working with ushers via radio to identify potential sources of trouble.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:56 PM on May 4, 2010 [5 favorites]


Uh, did you read the linked article, Burhanistan?

Yes, and I was just riffing. This practice people have around here of going "uh" or "um" as a sarcastic rhetorical device is kind of juvenile.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:58 PM on May 4, 2010


hmm, nice attack
posted by found missing at 1:03 PM on May 4, 2010


I am delighted to be viewed as juvenile. I'm so old I like anything that suggests I'm still not 18.
posted by bearwife at 1:19 PM on May 4, 2010


Heh. That reminds me of my sister who beams with happiness when she's been asked to show ID!
posted by Burhanistan at 1:25 PM on May 4, 2010


Hey I saw The Last Boy Scout and sure it wasn't real but it could happen and since it could I want the cops to shoot anyone who even looks at a football field.

Isn't the only person who goes on the football field who souldn't be on the football field Bruce Willis, ie the hero? The killer at the beginning is a player, the one at the end is in the lights.
posted by biffa at 1:29 PM on May 4, 2010


I guess that it could have been worse.
posted by Danf at 1:38 PM on May 4, 2010


biffa: "Isn't the only person who goes on the football field who souldn't be on the football field Bruce Willis, ie the hero? The killer at the beginning is a player, the one at the end is in the lights."

I think you're probably right. Alas my shitty hyperbole is rendered more shitty.
posted by graventy at 1:45 PM on May 4, 2010


This reminds me of the Superbowl streaker... I guess a bunch of footballers piling on you is in the same vein as getting tased anyway.
posted by biochemist at 1:51 PM on May 4, 2010


Isn't the only person who goes on the football field who souldn't be on the football field Bruce Willis, ie the hero?

Make that Wayans, and he knows how to time his football passes to block bullets. On horseback. Shame no other team picked him up.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:56 PM on May 4, 2010


many ballparks put actual police officers on each bench, and during gameplay transitions between innings, they emerge and stand in front of the dugout, scanning the crowd.

The guys in khakis and golf shirts were lining up on the 1st and 3rd baselines during every inning change, before and after this guy made it onto the field.
posted by nomad at 2:20 PM on May 4, 2010


Only one -- TaserGuy-- appears to be uniformed like a security guard. The others are wearing khakis and golf shirts. Every cop in the world will tell you that your uniform is the first line of defense. Most Americans will defer to a uniform, just out of social convention.

I would assume the other guys are just regular ballpark workers, not actual guards/cops.
posted by kmz at 2:29 PM on May 4, 2010


fat people are dumb and funny
posted by found missing at 11:57 AM on May 4


Anyone acting as a police officer or security guard who is in shitty physical shape is bad at their job for the simple fact that they are more likely to use potentially lethal weapons. A fit officer would have been able to run after this idiot and put him on the ground instead of using a Taser. A fit officer would have had this under control instead of looking like a parody of a mall cop.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 3:21 PM on May 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


They should flood the field and stock it with alligators. Then no fans would run onto the field!

Pro Thunderball!

THIS is a structural wall. THIS is a structural wall.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:40 PM on May 4, 2010


odinsdream: I've noticed over the past few years a disturbing drop in people's level of patience. I'm wondering if this doesn't play a role in the pressures that, for instance, this security guy may have felt he was under from the audience to quickly resolve the issue.

Indeed. Imagine Earl Weaver tangling with a Taser-armed umpire.
posted by hangashore at 3:43 PM on May 4, 2010


(Not Philly-ist) I also have to laugh a little at ticket seller interviewed on local Philly news: "Dude (ballplayer) makes $25 million a year! Must protect!" Lance Armstrong races on public roads, 'fans' hocked loogies in his face on Alpe d'Huez. Taze the brutes!
posted by fixedgear at 3:46 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


An obvious and simple solution to this societal problem has just now occurred to me:

Reduce the space on the trigger guards of tasers so that fatties can't get their sausage fingers into them.

Problem solved.
posted by found missing at 4:23 PM on May 4, 2010


Release the hounds!
posted by emeiji at 4:51 PM on May 4, 2010


Release the kraken!
posted by telstar at 5:53 PM on May 4, 2010


Hey guys...someone just ran onto the field, again...
posted by rbf1138 at 6:19 PM on May 4, 2010


And this yahoo tweeted before heading out there.
posted by gladly at 7:13 PM on May 4, 2010


And this yahoo tweeted before heading out there.

Looks like dude is a (terrible) rapper and trying to do some self-promotion, rather than just some silly kid acting out on impulse. Tase away.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:56 PM on May 4, 2010


So, some dude decided to take a little lap around the field tonight at the game, grinning. Six or seven security dudes escorted him off the field.

We booooooed the hell out of him. No batteries, though. Fucking quit it with the batteries thing, okay?

He didn't get tased. He didn't resist being led off the field. We did notice Jayson Werth walking along side the dude while goofball was being escorted alongside right field. I'm sure Jayson was telling him he was a PITA fuckhead who could'a gotten his ass tased. But with more profanity and more calling him a fuckhead.
posted by desuetude at 9:54 PM on May 4, 2010


As the fans chanted "Tase him, tase him..." I love this city.
posted by fixedgear at 3:07 AM on May 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Attention whore got the attention he wanted. People have been attacked on the field before and it would be really nice if security didn't have their time wasted on this shit.

Don't wanna get tased? Don't knowingly break the law and run from the police. It was unnecessary but not over the line like when they taze grannies or 12 year old girls.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 8:19 AM on May 5, 2010


Don't wanna get tased? Don't knowingly break the law and run from the police. It was unnecessary but not over the line like when they taze grannies or 12 year old girls.

He broke the law of...trespassing, I guess? He didn't rob a liquor store and escape via center field, he ran onto the field to yes, get some attention. I think that a seventeen year old kid could've been subdued more reasonably. Tasers should be considered potentially lethal force.
posted by desuetude at 9:04 AM on May 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh, man the Phillies almost lost the game because of Crappy the Rapper. It's a good thing for him they won in the 10th, or we'd be reading his obituary.
posted by dirigibleman at 10:00 AM on May 5, 2010


Would a modern day Morganna get tased?
posted by Burhanistan at 10:05 AM on May 5, 2010


Attention whore got the attention he wanted. People have been attacked on the field before and it would be really nice if security didn't have their time wasted on this shit.

Don't wanna get tased? Don't knowingly break the law and run from the police. It was unnecessary but not over the line like when they taze grannies or 12 year old girls.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 8:19 AM on May


There are several comments in this thread that refute your comment, but I know for a fact you didn't read the thread and just posted good he deserved it for the hundredth time because you have a consistently weird authoritarian punishment fetish.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 10:06 AM on May 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: because you have a consistently weird authoritarian punishment fetish
posted by Sys Rq at 10:09 AM on May 5, 2010


Here is a commendable use of a taser, especially since the cop had a gun in his other hand and the suspect appeared to be reaching for a weapon. Proper tase, bro.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:07 AM on May 5, 2010


I'm sorry for posting my opinion Chyme, please carry on with your thread.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 11:07 AM on May 5, 2010


Post your opinion all you want, but don't be surprised when someone points out that your argument is based on flawed premises and doesn't take into account the literally one hundred and seventeen comments preceeding it.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:11 AM on May 5, 2010



Post your opinion all you want, but don't be surprised when someone points out that your argument is based on flawed premises and doesn't take into account the literally one hundred and seventeen comments preceeding it.


In the future I will reach to your high standards and just post assumptions and personal insults instead. Real quality there.

I've read the thread, seen the videos and the pictures, I disagree with you. You don't have to react like a child having a temper tantrum over it.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 11:16 AM on May 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Email, guys. Spare us the details.
posted by cortex at 11:33 AM on May 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Tase them!
posted by found missing at 11:35 AM on May 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


Optimus Chyme: "Anyone acting as a police officer or security guard who is in shitty physical shape is bad at their job for the simple fact that they are more likely to use potentially lethal weapons."

Cite? Also, we don't know if the cop wasn't able to catch the kid because he was slow or whether the kid was fast. Also, being slower than the kid is no excuse to use a taser. I would blame the cop's poor judgment first and foremost— no need to bring weight into it.

I do, however, agree completely with your first comment in this thread and sort of disappointed at the cheap Philly jokes in this thread. Keep it classy, Metafilter.
posted by yaymukund at 1:04 PM on May 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Get your t-shirt here.
posted by fixedgear at 1:36 PM on May 5, 2010


Get your t-shirt here.

Probably a rights violation, there.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:43 PM on May 5, 2010


Looks like this was a one and done. Stadium security will catch runners and turn them over to the police. I gather that the Phillies brass was horrified and embarrassed.
posted by fixedgear at 4:39 AM on May 6, 2010


Get your t-shirt here.

Can we give the Fashion Police tasers?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:22 AM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


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