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The George Clooney of FPPs
May 4, 2010 6:05 PM   Subscribe

The Rosa Parks of Blogs and other absurd comparisons by real people of famous people.
posted by flatluigi (46 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

 
My dog is the Goldilocks of taking a dump

Not too hot, not too cold. Just right.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:08 PM on May 4, 2010


I'm the Shakespeare of writing insightful, relevant comments about this post.

Sorry.
posted by axiom at 6:10 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Pretty sure this is the best one. Very nice.
posted by threetoed at 6:12 PM on May 4, 2010


*hugs the internet*
posted by DU at 6:13 PM on May 4, 2010




I liked the Zeus of fast food condiments. Because, apparently, Arby's sauce will turn into a swan or a bull or something and have sex with you, causing a war. Arby's, I knew there was a reason I did not eat with you anymore.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:18 PM on May 4, 2010


I have always thought of myself as the Charlie Callas of Metafilter.

Pfffferrrtttt!
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:24 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


I thought "oxygen, the Gilligan of the periodic table" was pretty good.
posted by idiopath at 6:38 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Uhh, Four Tet is the Keyzer Soze of cool groves.

Aphex Twin is the Rorschach, and Venetian Snares is The Punisher.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 6:39 PM on May 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


"My dog is the Goldilocks of taking a dump. Just pick a tree and let it ride, Blondie."

That's, uh, actually a very astute comparison. A perfectly-formed analogy.

And for the record, it's not the Arby's sauce that does that. Everyone knows it's Horsey Sauce that will seduce you in the form of a bull.
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:40 PM on May 4, 2010


The Keith Olbermann of hyperbole. Wait, that doesn't work.
posted by nathancaswell at 6:44 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is the Jesus Christ of Metafilter comments.
posted by swift at 6:44 PM on May 4, 2010


My dog is the Goldilocks of taking a dump.

My dog is the Jackson Pollack of dumps, he waddles around like he's making an action painting.
posted by nathancaswell at 6:45 PM on May 4, 2010


Pollock!
posted by nathancaswell at 6:46 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Who needs famous people in order to say something silly?

Elevators are the plastic flowers of architecture.

Vitamin pills are the crayons of ingestible capsules.

Corduroy is the metal halogen lamp of fabrics.

Carpet remnants are the navel lint of free boxes.

Galvanized sheeting is the pop up safety lid of ceiling features.

My fingers are the oscillating variable speed fan of things that are in my pants.
posted by idiopath at 6:47 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is the Jesus Christ of Metafilter comments.

You nailed it!
posted by gman at 6:47 PM on May 4, 2010 [9 favorites]


I don't even know what "the Aimee Mann of drywall installers" thinks he's saying but it's fucking great no matter how you slice it
posted by Camofrog at 6:56 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


And here I was just thinking that today was the Lambchop of prison rapes....
posted by Debaser626 at 6:57 PM on May 4, 2010


My favorite comparison will always be this: "If the Talking Heads was dance-punk’s Nelson Mandela, Measles Mumps Rubella is poised to become its Muhammad Ali."

I have no clue what it could possibly mean.
posted by motorcycles are jets at 7:00 PM on May 4, 2010 [3 favorites]


motorcycles are jets: "I have no clue what it could possibly mean."

"MMR are yet another band that wants to be the Talking Heads, except without being nerds" is how I read it.
posted by idiopath at 7:08 PM on May 4, 2010


I feel like there must be an antique, rhetoric-derived term for the "x is the y of z" figure of speech, but what is it?
posted by clockzero at 7:09 PM on May 4, 2010


It is a sloppy analogy, which can only compare objects within their respective categories:

x is the y of z (where z is a category that y belongs to) == x : z :: y : (the main category that y belongs to)
posted by idiopath at 7:21 PM on May 4, 2010


correction: x is the y of z (where z is a category that x belongs to)
posted by idiopath at 7:47 PM on May 4, 2010


the Benjamin Franklin of molecular quantum mechanics

...widely known as humannaire.
posted by humannaire at 7:54 PM on May 4, 2010




How did this dude become the 'Aimee Mann of drywall installers'?
Would it always take him 'til tuesday' to get the job done?
posted by Flashman at 8:29 PM on May 4, 2010 [3 favorites]


He is attentive about the acoustic isolation between rooms, because he knows that Voices Carry.
posted by idiopath at 8:36 PM on May 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'm the Viking of sleep.
posted by mendel at 8:56 PM on May 4, 2010 [6 favorites]


Snowcloning is the Justin Bieber of applied linguistics.
posted by cortex at 9:01 PM on May 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


3...2...1...aaaaand there's now a blog for everything. Good job, Internet.
posted by spamguy at 9:20 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


i am the aloha of metafilter.
posted by the aloha at 9:35 PM on May 4, 2010


MetaFilter is the Rosa Parks of Blogs of the hivemind set.
posted by thejoshu at 9:49 PM on May 4, 2010


This thread is not the George Clooney of FPP's. It's more the Afroman ("Because I Got High") of FPPs....amusing for a second, and then we move on.

That was harsh. I'm the Mr. Blackwell of commenters.
posted by mreleganza at 9:56 PM on May 4, 2010


It can't be that, mreleganza -- that analogy makes some sort of sense.
posted by flatluigi at 10:13 PM on May 4, 2010


...and let's not forget "Red Wigglers, the cadillac of worms."
posted by Crane Shot at 10:15 PM on May 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is the mother of all snarky remarks.
posted by DreamerFi at 1:47 AM on May 5, 2010


I'm the typhoid mary of favorites
posted by tehloki at 3:24 AM on May 5, 2010 [6 favorites]


The oil spill is the Obama's Katrina of Obama's Katrinas
posted by Tavern at 5:51 AM on May 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


I am the Song of the South, the Nanook of the North, and the Revenge of the Mummy.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:24 AM on May 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


I had an are-you-fucking-kidding-me moment when someone told me that, in his humble opinion, Bob Seger was "the real Bruce Springsteen" because Bruce had become a superstar and Bob was still not that big. (This was well after Seger had reached the arena phase of his career, but never mind that.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:48 AM on May 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


You know who else made Absurd Comparisons By Real People Using Famous People?
posted by Smedleyman at 9:27 AM on May 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Adolf Hitler is the Rosa Parks of probabilistically modeled condemnatory analogical referents.
posted by cortex at 10:01 AM on May 5, 2010 [8 favorites]


I want to be the something of something. The something of Metafilter, since I don't know any of my real life neighbors and I don't have a close group of friends anymore. I'd go with Strawberry Shortcake, but I don't know what her personality's like and she's probably not like me all that much anyway.
posted by anniecat at 12:26 PM on May 5, 2010


y0 dawg I heard you like analogies to famous people.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 10:31 AM on May 7, 2010


Congrats, cortex!
posted by flatluigi at 5:53 PM on May 9, 2010


Ha!
posted by cortex at 8:08 PM on May 9, 2010


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