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Babies. Babies. Babies.
May 6, 2010 5:25 AM   Subscribe

A new documentary, Babies, is reviewed by Village Voice.
posted by zardoz (69 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
Christ, what a baby....
posted by magstheaxe at 5:28 AM on May 6, 2010


What, was he given the topic and a 48-hour deadline?

Also, Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
posted by Dr-Baa at 5:31 AM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


Babies everywhere!

p.s. I love babies. Will probably see this. Babies babies babies.
posted by fleetmouse at 5:33 AM on May 6, 2010 [3 favorites]


That's why they can't even give that paper away. In the early 90's I paid a dollar, now...
posted by swooz at 5:35 AM on May 6, 2010


Don't be fooled, they turn into teenagers.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:35 AM on May 6, 2010 [11 favorites]


I know this one! Is it "Ghostbusters 2"?
posted by jbickers at 5:36 AM on May 6, 2010 [2 favorites]


Also, here's the alternate review, which includes the phrase "shitting meatloaf."
posted by jbickers at 5:39 AM on May 6, 2010 [3 favorites]


That's why they can't even give that paper away.

The review that actually saw print is linked at the top of the "babies babies babies" review. I like babies but I had a kind of similar reaction to Kois after seeing the preview for this movie before "Secret of Kells" last weekend.
posted by mediareport at 5:39 AM on May 6, 2010


Oh, and the alternate review is pretty funny and seems on-target.
posted by mediareport at 5:40 AM on May 6, 2010


I was interested, and then, just as quickly, I was not.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 5:40 AM on May 6, 2010




That's why they can't even give that paper away. In the early 90's I paid a dollar, now...


The Village Voice is consistently one of the weakest, most boring alt weeklies in existence, even in comparison to its own New Times franchise partners. It's criminal.
posted by availablelight at 5:43 AM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


In the original French this movie is called Bébé(s). Then there are these other French movies with a similar (s) in the title. Sup with that? My guess is that they don't pronounce the final S in those plurals so it is kind of a homophonous jest of Gallic frivolity
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 5:45 AM on May 6, 2010


I am totally going to try and work "a Mongolian Ben Stiller" into everyday conversation.
posted by Gilbert at 5:46 AM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


My 2-year old baby girl loves, loves, loves, loves this trailer. She actually shouts "babies babies babies" when I put her in front of the computer. I guess she's the perfect target for this movie.
posted by elgilito at 5:46 AM on May 6, 2010 [3 favorites]


Bay Bees.
posted by pracowity at 5:46 AM on May 6, 2010


If you go to see Babies and just cold start making babies you still get ejected from the theater, so you must resist doing that.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 5:50 AM on May 6, 2010 [8 favorites]


comment comment comment comment comment comment comment comment comment! comment comment
posted by The Whelk at 5:50 AM on May 6, 2010 [4 favorites]


Babies here are like this, babies there are like that, amirite?
posted by fixedgear at 6:14 AM on May 6, 2010


I'm pretty sure I started crying the first time I saw the trailer. Between the babies and the Sufjan Stevens song, I was mush.

And I don't even want to form babby.
posted by mmmbacon at 6:14 AM on May 6, 2010


I saw this trailer recently, and I was worried that I had become trapped in an Anne Geddes calendar.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:18 AM on May 6, 2010 [8 favorites]


Chicken (PDF)
posted by briank at 6:30 AM on May 6, 2010 [2 favorites]


Huh. I just emailed my wife a link to the trailer. But that's probably because watching other people's babies is a lot more fun now that I have one at home. (Reviewer is right though - having a baby means you'll probably enjoy the movie, but won't actually get a chance to see it, because you have a baby.)
posted by caution live frogs at 6:52 AM on May 6, 2010


I think if I were forced to sit through this I would kill a significant portion of the audience in a fit of anti-sentimentalist rage. I'm like an enraged Talking Barbie, only when you pull on my heart strings you get punched in the face, not a witty bon-mot about the difficulty of math. I desire plot, not shmaltz, in a film, I'm a virtual diabetic when it comes to overly sweet films and frankly the shitting meatloaf thing stays true until they are old enough to fetch me a drink.

That makes me....not the target audience
posted by Jilder at 6:55 AM on May 6, 2010 [6 favorites]


Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. Malkovich Malkovich? Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich: Malkovich Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:01 AM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


wat
posted by jquinby at 7:05 AM on May 6, 2010


what what what?!
posted by The Whelk at 7:10 AM on May 6, 2010


Kittens!

(Just once will do.)
posted by Kurichina at 7:12 AM on May 6, 2010


jbickers: "which includes the phrase "shitting meatloaf.""

The funny thing is that when I see "shitting meatloaf" on its own, I don't imagine the meatloaf to be the subject of the verb, but the object.
posted by idiopath at 7:14 AM on May 6, 2010


What about babies? You forgot babies.
posted by Mister_A at 7:15 AM on May 6, 2010


Then there are these other French movies with a similar (s) in the title. Sup with that? My guess is that they don't pronounce the final S in those plurals so it is kind of a homophonous jest of Gallic frivolity

EMRJKC94: I think that's exactly it. The "s" wouldn't really be pronounced unless the next word starts with a vowel. So it's a sort of visual/linguistic pun - both singular and plural at the same time - that often isn't replicable in English due to how English makes plurals. Another example is a film I saw at a festival last year, Espion(s), which for English audiences is being awkwardly rendered as "Spy(ies)."
posted by dnash at 7:18 AM on May 6, 2010 [2 favorites]


Ageists, all of you.
posted by whimsicalnymph at 7:18 AM on May 6, 2010


My favorite part of that review was when he talked about the
***has heart attack, dies ***
posted by jefbla at 7:18 AM on May 6, 2010


Party on, Wayne. Party on, Garth.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 7:33 AM on May 6, 2010


My 2-year old baby girl loves, loves, loves, loves this trailer. She actually shouts "babies babies babies" when I put her in front of the computer. I guess she's the perfect target for this movie.

Mine, too! We've watched the trailer about 5000 times.

Sounds like the movie is pretty much exactly what you'd expect, having seen the trailer. We'll probably see it, because I like babies.
posted by not that girl at 7:33 AM on May 6, 2010


Maybe we'll wait for it to come out on DVD, though.
posted by not that girl at 7:35 AM on May 6, 2010


See, I really want to see this movie, and really want to take my wife to it for mother's day. But I'm scared to, because we've been waffling on whether or not we want to have another child, and I'm pretty sure this will put us over the edge into "aww, look how LITTLE!" territory.
posted by jbickers at 7:42 AM on May 6, 2010


EEEeeek! Babies scare the Hell out of me. So tiny, so noisy, so delicate, so malodorous, so demanding... That review gave me hives.

(I know I'm going against the tide, here, but golly, there has to be some dissent.)
posted by kinnakeet at 8:06 AM on May 6, 2010 [2 favorites]


Babies??? BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER. unlike this movie, beer kicks ass.
posted by mcstayinskool at 8:12 AM on May 6, 2010


Dan Kois writes: Did I ovulate like a dozen times during Babies? You better believe it.

Is this a new gimmick? Is 3-D passé already?
posted by 1f2frfbf at 8:24 AM on May 6, 2010 [3 favorites]


From the real review:

Babies offers little in the way of context. It's pretty much just straight-up babies, all the way through. Adult dialogue is untranslated, and parents mostly hover just on the edges of the frame.

Man, that sucks, because I just got back from the park where I saw not one, not two, but three toddlers get their hands spritzed in sanitizer after popping off the dusty slide. I'm apparently in the category of people who'd pay to see the faces of NYC parents watching a goat eat a baby's hair.
posted by zoomorphic at 8:30 AM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


Use Condoms.
posted by ericb at 8:30 AM on May 6, 2010 [2 favorites]


The theater near me has parent and baby morning show times twice a month and I think they're showing this movie, so my baby and I will probably get to go see Babies in the theater. I'm psyched.
posted by zorrine at 8:31 AM on May 6, 2010


I'm going to see this movie, and if I still don't want kids afterwards, I'm gonna go ahead and get that vasectomy.
posted by lore at 8:36 AM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


I read another review of this that seemed enthusiastic enough that I might actually give it a try. Which is kind of amazing to me, because other than as a food source, I don't usually find babies interesting at all.
posted by quin at 8:48 AM on May 6, 2010




This is just the first effort in this director’s “Plural Nouns” series of documentaries. Stay tuned for “Newts”, “Calculators”, and the much anticipated “Things”.
posted by Think_Long at 8:49 AM on May 6, 2010 [4 favorites]


I'd like to thank Kois for pointing out how, like many other words, babies seems to lose its meaning when repeated too many times. Especially when he capitalized Babies in the middle of a sentence: I wanted to interpret it as some foreign surname or something, perhaps pronounced bah'-bee-ess'.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:54 AM on May 6, 2010


The Village Voice is consistently one of the weakest, most boring alt weeklies in existence,

Which is sad, because once upon a time this was not the case. (My parents had a subscription when I was growing up and I remember getting a LOT of my pop culture from the Voice & from Interview magazine...and later from NME & Smash Hits, because hey, teenage girl + they were better than fucking Tiger Beat).
posted by bitter-girl.com at 8:54 AM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm apparently in the category of people who'd pay to see the faces of NYC parents watching a goat eat a baby's hair.

Or that scene in the trailer where the mongolian baby is playing with a pitcher or something while his mom squats on the ground doing something in a big bowl. About 1000 viewings in (my 2yo loves that trailer), I realized that what was in the bowl was entrails.
posted by not that girl at 8:55 AM on May 6, 2010


My 2-year old baby girl loves, loves, loves, loves this trailer. She actually shouts "babies babies babies" when I put her in front of the computer. I guess she's the perfect target for this movie.

Mine, too! We've watched the trailer about 5000 times.


Reading the fake review was like a recap of last night for me.

I showed it to my kids last night. They went nuts. "BABIES! BABIES! BABY? BABY? BABY! LOOK DA! BABY! BABY! BABY!"

And when it ended, "Again? Again? Again?"

I wish there was a toddler-friendly theater nearby. I bet this movie would lengthen their attention spans. :)
posted by zarq at 9:05 AM on May 6, 2010


This film is rated PG for 'cultural and maternal nudity." The MPAA are an even bigger bunch of prudes than I thought.
posted by vespabelle at 9:11 AM on May 6, 2010 [3 favorites]


That rating seems perfect actually. It lets prudish parents know what's in the movie while not limiting access to anyone.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:58 AM on May 6, 2010


And to be fair to the MPAA, have you actually seen some of the slutty, low-cut diapers babies are crawling around in these days, butt cracks all hanging out in the breeze? Scandalous!
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:29 AM on May 6, 2010


If you wait to see it on DVD by that time it'll be Toddlers.
posted by Babblesort at 10:30 AM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


Jesus, I'm pregnant right now. If I go see this movie I don't think there'll be enough Kleenex in the world.
posted by KathrynT at 10:35 AM on May 6, 2010


No, the nudity they're referring to is of grownups. Hence "maternal, cultural".
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:06 AM on May 6, 2010


My husband and I, as part of our ongoing attempts to reclaim our adult lives now that our daughter is 3, decided to go see a movie last weekend. "Maybe we should go see Babies," he said.

"Are you f*cking kidding me?" I screamed back at him, "We're paying a sitter to watch our own baby so we can pay to go watch other people's babies? Are you CRAZY? We're going to see Hot Tub Time Machine, mister! Get in the car!"

This was a mistake for many reasons.
posted by staggering termagant at 11:33 AM on May 6, 2010 [6 favorites]


I saw an ad for this last night and the voice over said "If you liked March of the Penguins, you'll love Babies!" and after originally scoffing, I -- not a kid person -- flashed back to that scene in March of the Penguins where the penguin couple botched the web-footed egg handoff and the egg hit the ice and the embryonic penguin went bye-bye and then I thought "You know, this movie must be edgier than I thought."
posted by mudpuppie at 11:46 AM on May 6, 2010 [8 favorites]


Oh, shit.

My case of the baby rabies is back because of this. I need to see this ... but then immediately borrow one of my friends' children for the weekend to remind me that while babies are cute, there are good reasons why I am waiting until I'm done with grad school to even think about babybrains. (that was supposed to be a play on my username, but it really just makes me sound psychotic...)
posted by tastybrains at 11:49 AM on May 6, 2010


The original single word but repeated review seems to capture the movie perfectly. Too many spoilers, though.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:54 AM on May 6, 2010


I predict the second Baby Boomer generation in 9 months.
posted by toekneebullard at 12:05 PM on May 6, 2010


Chicken
posted by munchingzombie at 1:01 PM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


Tastybrains, one of my friends comments frequently that his two kids are "like the most effective ad for birth control ever. Babysit them for a day and you'll join Club Childfree."

As for me, I'm convinced that I'm going to come home one day and find that my two Lilliputians have tied and gagged my wife in the living room....
posted by zarq at 2:54 PM on May 6, 2010


Stay tuned for “Newts”

Starring Gussie Fink-Nottle!
posted by Diablevert at 7:48 PM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


I briefly believed, based on a misreading of something-or-other, that this film was directed by Werner Herzog.

The disappointment when I learned otherwise was soul-crushing.
posted by Lazlo at 11:45 PM on May 6, 2010 [3 favorites]


Lazlo, you're thinking of Werner Herzog eats a baby.
posted by No-sword at 12:35 AM on May 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


I hate the whole ChildFree thing, but, honestly, this film looks like my worst nightmare.

I'll hold out for Puppies.
posted by mippy at 4:32 AM on May 7, 2010


We (me and the husband) saw the trailer for Babies and the trailer for African Cats, before watching Oceans. We cooed, laffed, and did little theater-seat-dances of joy during the cute bits of Cats and Oceans.

During the Babies preview, we literally groaned aloud in annoyance.

DINK lifestyle, FTW.
posted by wowbobwow at 9:23 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]




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