SIM + meat cleaver = Micro SIM

May 11, 2010 7:16 AM

How to convert a SIM to a Micro SIM with a meat cleaver
posted by Dragonness (48 comments total)

My inner juggalo approves of this use of hatchets. Although that would appear to be a chef's knife.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:17 AM on May 11, 2010

as mccarty.tim says, this is insane. can't wait to try it.
posted by squasha at 7:20 AM on May 11, 2010

Quibble: That appears to be a butcher's knife, not a meat cleaver.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:22 AM on May 11, 2010

Meat cleaver has a better ring to it, though, don't you think?
posted by Dragonness at 7:23 AM on May 11, 2010

I thought this was black magic before I looked up what a SIM was. I was thinking it had some sort of flash memory or something in it, but it's basically the magnetic strip from a credit card.

Which makes this very cool instead of sending me to reach for my torch and pitchfork.
posted by straight at 7:23 AM on May 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Well, you could just use scissors. If they're going to use a cleaver they should make it more dramatic and hack the little SIM card like a slab of ribs.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:24 AM on May 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

Meat Cleaver. Chef's Knife. Butcher Knife.
posted by Floydd at 7:26 AM on May 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

From the SKU, it's a vegetable knife, either a nakiri bocho or an usuba bocho.
posted by SyntacticSugar at 7:26 AM on May 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

I was thinking it had some sort of flash memory or something in it, but it's basically the magnetic strip from a credit card.

SIMs do have a small integrated circuit in them, which stores in its memory the ICC-ID and MSI.

It is nothing like a magnetic strip.
posted by fake at 7:28 AM on May 11, 2010

This Meat Cleaver, it Jailbreaks?
posted by zarq at 7:28 AM on May 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

SIMs do have a small integrated circuit in them, which stores in its memory the ICC-ID and MSI.

What?! And you can chop bits off and it still works?! BURN THE WITCH!
posted by straight at 7:31 AM on May 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

From the SKU, it's a vegetable knife

geez did you lift his fingerprints off the photo too i mean seriously
posted by backseatpilot at 7:44 AM on May 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

WTF H4X
posted by Who_Am_I at 7:47 AM on May 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Let it be known that there should be no shame, nor shaming others, in properly identifying implements.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:48 AM on May 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

Apple iPad micro SIM thwarts easy import to the UK

The European Telecommunications Standards Institute (ETSI), which sets the standards for SIM cards, tells us that except for the size of the plastic around the chip, micro SIM cards are identical to the SIM cards we normally find in phones.

We're offering a special on a SIM to Micro-SIM conversion kit for iPad
posted by three blind mice at 7:54 AM on May 11, 2010

The knife is one of these. It's what the finest chefs chose for SIM card julienne.
posted by peeedro at 7:56 AM on May 11, 2010

What?! And you can chop bits off and it still works?

The circuitry and chip inside is quite small. The exterior contacts are actually the biggest and most vulnerable part.

The form factor of smart "cards" are determined by convenience for users, not really any technical criteria. You could make them the size of a grain of rice and they'd work basically just as well ... it would just suck to drop one.

You can't be quite so cavalier with RFID cards, because they contain an internal antenna (two, actually) which if you break will stop the thing from working very well. But if you are careful about the placement you can punch lanyard holes through them with impunity, much to the consternation of your coworkers.
posted by Kadin2048 at 7:58 AM on May 11, 2010

Working on the prints, brb.
posted by SyntacticSugar at 7:59 AM on May 11, 2010

You know what I love about Metafilter? We've got one thread with geeky discussions of both SIM cards and meat-oriented knives.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:04 AM on May 11, 2010 [8 favorites]

My inner juggalo approves of this use of hatchets

HATCHETS! HOW DO THEY WORK?
posted by zippy at 8:08 AM on May 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

Did SIM cards ever use the entire surface area for electronics? Or did they always have a MicroSIM form factor hiding inside?
posted by Nelson at 8:11 AM on May 11, 2010

You know what I love about Metafilter? We've got one thread with geeky discussions of both SIM cards and meat-oriented knives.
Do I have to point out again that it's a VEGETABLE knife?
Wait, no, peeedro already did it for me.
posted by SyntacticSugar at 8:14 AM on May 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Whatever. I was watching John Belushi do this on SNL with a katana in 1978.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:17 AM on May 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

We've got one thread with geeky discussions of both SIM cards and meat-oriented knives.

And with a side of Juggalos.
posted by zippy at 8:17 AM on May 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

English! I love it. Cleave means to cut and to stick closely to something. Or as Dr Nick from the Simpsons put it: Inflammable means flammable? Ugh, what a country!
posted by chavenet at 8:20 AM on May 11, 2010

Did SIM cards ever use the entire surface area for electronics? Or did they always have a MicroSIM form factor hiding inside?

Think of it this way. The chip is tiny and the gold contacts are huge. It is easy to hide the chip under the contacts. Both MicroSIM and SIM use the same chip and the same contacts. The plastic bits are only there for clumsy humanzz to handle.

As far as ALL SIMs go, well there are some special-use SIMs that have electronics elsewhere in the SIM.

Here's one designed to unlock the iPhone.

Also dual-SIM adapters, which were very common in Russia while I was there, require cutting down the SIM card or getting MicroSIMS. Actually, this SIM-cutting news is really only news in the US, where people aren't accustomed to the raw awesomeness of GSM phone networks.
posted by fake at 8:39 AM on May 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

We in the US aren't really accustomed to awesomeness in any of our data networks; our data infrastructure is notoriously shit compared to similarly developed countries.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:45 AM on May 11, 2010

Real men trim their sd cards with a two-handed sword.
posted by davelog at 8:54 AM on May 11, 2010

Awesome! Now all I have to do is to convert my laptop into an iPad using a chainsaw.
posted by Pallas Athena at 8:57 AM on May 11, 2010 [7 favorites]

it's basically the magnetic strip from a credit card.

It's a small supposedly-tamper-resistant cryptographic module, actually. It holds some keying material and enough cpu power to authenticate your phone to your provider over the not-teribly-trusted intervening network. Some SIM-sized cards run Java applets, though I assume the everyday phone-provider ones don't. The chip to do this is small enough to hide under the center contact in the ISO7816 contact pattern.

And, yeah, "meat cleaver"? Meat cleavers are far more badass, that looks like an everyday chef's knife. And I notice that the cheap scissors also being used for the SIM-trimming aren't getting any love in the description.
posted by hattifattener at 9:11 AM on May 11, 2010

I want to see someone use a meat cleaver to turn a SIM card into a 'macro' SIM card (aka: Smart Card).
posted by Confess, Fletch at 9:23 AM on May 11, 2010

English! I love it. Cleave means to cut and to stick closely to something.

I hope you're sitting down—so does "hew"!
posted by kenko at 9:51 AM on May 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Peedro is correct, it's the Global vegetable knife. I've got one, but I've never cut plastic with it.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:55 AM on May 11, 2010

Balls of aluminium.
posted by felix betachat at 10:21 AM on May 11, 2010

Balls of aluminium.

This?

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4038/4598596097_83be982aed_o.jpg
posted by Dragonness at 10:40 AM on May 11, 2010

SyntacticSugar: “From the SKU, it's a vegetable knife, either a nakiri bocho or an usuba bocho.”

Crap – I thought that might be it. That's unfortunate; I really wanted to get an iPad 3G, but sadly nakiri bochos and usuba bochos aren't available here in the US.
posted by koeselitz at 10:44 AM on May 11, 2010

That's unfortunate; I really wanted to get an iPad 3G, but sadly nakiri bochos and usuba bochos aren't available here in the US.

Yes they are.
posted by kenko at 10:53 AM on May 11, 2010

Gonna be piled upon for saying so, but: a santoku would work just as well.
posted by everichon at 11:02 AM on May 11, 2010

kenko: “Yes they are.”

They are? Awesome! Wow, now I can get that iPad!
posted by koeselitz at 11:10 AM on May 11, 2010

John Benson hacks everything he touches!
posted by Artw at 11:12 AM on May 11, 2010

Pssh. I only needed an exacto knife to turn my single sided 3.5" floppies into double sided discs.
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 11:40 AM on May 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

/makes secret 16bit computing hand signal.
posted by Artw at 11:42 AM on May 11, 2010

I can actually do this with my teeth.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:42 AM on May 11, 2010

The Cold Steel guy wasn't available?
posted by zamboni at 12:49 PM on May 11, 2010

SIM + spectacular knife = damaged spectacular knife
posted by bz at 4:09 PM on May 11, 2010

Awesome! Now all I have to do is to convert my laptop into an iPad using a chainsaw.

Step-by-step! some modification required.
posted by zippy at 4:21 PM on May 11, 2010

Lucky for me I've got a half-dozen terrible knives at my apartment from the previous tenant!
posted by DoctorFedora at 4:22 PM on May 11, 2010

If the size of the chip in your average credit card is anything to go by, you could cut most of the contacts off and it would still work. I disassembled an expired debit card a couple of years ago to see what was inside - pictures are here, if you're interested.
posted by ZsigE at 4:42 PM on May 11, 2010 [1 favorite]