An exclusive interview with Mr. Robert Dutu

May 11, 2010 3:03 PM

"i accept the fact that i am GUILTY… and will not hesitate to be prosecuted when the law catch up with me… and i know my God will forgive because i pray to him to replenish the pockets of my clients with double of whatever they loss" Mike Nash has a surprisingly frank chat with a 419 scammer.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis (23 comments total)

I once heard a variant scam, where if you called out the scammer, he offered you a way to get in on the scam.

"You'll never fool me with this scam!"
"OK, you got me. But you'll never believe how many people fall for it."
"Really? You can make money on this scam?"
"Sure can! In fact, I'm getting ready to send out another mailer to 1 million addresses. I'll probably make $10,000 on this deal."
"Wow, that's pretty sweet."
"It sure is. Hey, do you want in? I need a partner."
"No way."
"Yeah. I just need $300 to set up this mailer to the million addresses..."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:10 PM on May 11, 2010 [16 favorites]

[4:38:06 PM] Mr. Robert Dutu says: and i know my God will forgive because i pray to him to replenish the pockets of my clients with double of whatever they loss

Hey, I just got off the phone with God, and he really wants to replenish the funds of all your clients, but unfortunately, all the money he has is Celestial, and not any good here on Earth. He was wondering if you would be able to wire him $1000 so that he can pay a banker who deals in exactly these kind of denominational conversions...
posted by quin at 3:23 PM on May 11, 2010 [19 favorites]

"Be my victim ..." If Nash had asked him what he was wearing, it might be a fur coat, a meathook, and some bees.
posted by adipocere at 3:23 PM on May 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

[3:57:13 PM] Mike Nash says: May I ask, how much you make doing this ?
[3:57:47 PM] Mr. Robert Dutu says: be my victim and you will get to know how much i can make from you

Heh. Also, it was interesting that he said was from Ghana but initially claimed to be from Nigeria. Why would you pretend to be from Nigeria if you were doing a scam?
posted by delmoi at 3:25 PM on May 11, 2010

Now there's a novel variation on antinomianism.
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:29 PM on May 11, 2010

Every time the guy starts trying the phish attempt again, even with my knowledge that this is fake, there is a split second where I read $X million dollars and hope against hope that I could be a for realsies Nigerian millionaire king.
posted by tastydonuts at 3:36 PM on May 11, 2010

Finally, support for my theory that it's okay to stab somebody through the groin provided I pray that they recover extra-groiny.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:42 PM on May 11, 2010 [9 favorites]

and i know my God will forgive because i pray to him to replenish the pockets of my clients with double of whatever they loss

Under this logic, shouldn't he pray to God to fill his own pockets so he doesn't have to cheat other people out of money?

That said, these schemes rely on greed of the victims. Everyone wants free money and rarely thinks about the fact that if free money were available? No one would be really sharing how to do it.
posted by yeloson at 3:53 PM on May 11, 2010

A friend of mine got his email hacked and a nigerian scammer spoofed emails from him to all of his friends saying that he was stuck in a london airport and needed someone to wire cash to him. Unfortunately, almost all of us are on a chatty email list and got the email at the same time, so we started messing with him.

we eventually got this response (verbatim):

It went well. If u watch d new a lot. You would hear about our escapades. So many americans have sent me money from this scam. I made 5grand from monday till nw. We can talk till night cos I aint gat anytin doing. I am in a hotel chilling right now about to fuck a bitch like u.
posted by empath at 4:02 PM on May 11, 2010 [6 favorites]

Mmmmmmmm. Extra-groiny.
posted by davejay at 4:03 PM on May 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

(oh, this guy was also from Ghana, fwiw).
posted by empath at 4:03 PM on May 11, 2010

I made 5grand from monday till nw. We can talk till night cos I aint gat anytin doing. I am in a hotel chilling right now about to fuck a bitch like u.

Fuck a bitch like u, thts my name. U know why mistr? Coz u drove a Hoondai to get hre tonite and I strngld a guy n took his $80K BMW. That's my name...Get them to reply to the email whch is haxed! U here me u fuckin faget! ABS. A always. B be. S scamming. Always be scamming! AIDA. Attention. Please may I hve ur attention? Interest. My stuck million$ have genarated a gr8 deal of interest. Decision. You need to decide if u wnt to help my family. Amex. I can use ur Amex to release the fourtune if u just give me ur number! U got teh prspcts coming in, u thnk they replied to say "sorry wish i could hlp"? Their sitting out they're waiting to give you there money! r u going to take it? r u man enuf?
posted by turgid dahlia at 4:17 PM on May 11, 2010 [30 favorites]

"Heh. Also, it was interesting that he said was from Ghana but initially claimed to be from Nigeria. Why would you pretend to be from Nigeria if you were doing a scam?"

Possibly different laws in the countries regarding international fraud, I expect it's a pretty lazy way of attempting to conceal your exploits. Nigeria is so well established with the 419 scammers and doesn't really do anything about them, so I imagine any investigations into the scams, if they originated in Nigeria, would probably get thrown into the "too hard" basket by interpol/fbi/whomever.
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 4:55 PM on May 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

That was beautiful, turgid dahlia.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:30 PM on May 11, 2010

A friend of mine got his email hacked and a nigerian scammer spoofed emails from him to all of his friends saying that he was stuck in a london airport and needed someone to wire cash to him. Unfortunately, almost all of us are on a chatty email list and got the email at the same time, so we started messing with him.

Huh - I just got that scam today! It was a little eerie, because the e-mail appeared to come from someone who I did know....about 8 years ago in high school. We had a little back and forth trying to get him to give me some details that would convince me he was actually that long lost acquaintance, before the scammer gave up.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 6:29 PM on May 11, 2010

That said, these schemes rely on greed of the victims. Everyone wants free money and rarely thinks about the fact that if free money were available? No one would be really sharing how to do it.

I feel the same way about those self-aggrandizing financial self-help books. If I had the money, I'd print 10,000 copies of The NEW WAY to Fulfill Your Potential And Maximize Earnings In Just One Afternoon, by Dr. Vorfeed, Ph.D. Inside would be 250 pages of lorem ipsum, plus one center page with GET 10,000 SUCKERS TO BUY YOUR BOOK ON HOW TO MAKE MONEY on it, in 50 point comic sans.
posted by vorfeed at 7:33 PM on May 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

and i know my God will forgive because i pray to him to replenish the pockets of my clients with double of whatever they loss

This is why it is dangerous to put faith in something you cannot prove: it ultimately means whatever you want it to mean, a blank check for you to do what you want.

That said, these schemes rely on greed of the victims. Everyone wants free money and rarely thinks about the fact that if free money were available? No one would be really sharing how to do it.

Moral hazard.
posted by JHarris at 2:32 AM on May 12, 2010

Wait, is moral hazard the term I'm looking for? There is a name for that thing I quoted, that tendency to believe if something bad happened to someone they deserved it in some way. I thought moral hazard is it, but I went to Wikipedia after the fact to confirm it and the page doesn't seem to jive with that perception. Hmm.
posted by JHarris at 2:36 AM on May 12, 2010

JHarris: I think you're thinking of the "Just-World Fallacy."
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 6:47 AM on May 12, 2010

Yeah, moral hazard is what happens to people who have good reason to believe that they won't get caught.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:31 AM on May 12, 2010

Too bad not all Nigerian investment opportunities are backed by the honor and veracity of men like Leon Sumbitches.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:58 AM on May 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

A. Always
B. Be.
S. Scamming.

Always. Be. Scamming.
posted by grubi at 12:26 PM on May 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

I wonder how - especially after decades of this - anyone is expected to actually fall for these schemes (though apparently people still do). But what I find fascinating is that these guys seem to have this attitude that says, "Sure I'm scamming you, but come on. Dude... Come on..." I've seen it turn up before when people try to engage these guys. Even in the way they'll do ridiculous shit for people that are just messing with them, like the ones that recreated the whole Monty Python dead parrot sketch.

It's almost like, yeah, this is ridiculous and there's no way you're fooled by it. You know it's a scam and I know you know. We're all in the loop re the whole scam thing. But you're a rich American (or European or whatever.) You've got money to spare. You blow my annual income on stupid, self-indulgent crap all the time. And I am doing it pretty well, right? With the details and the callout to God, and the phony routing numbers. I'm really working it. Why don't you just pretend to be fooled and toss a little this way? What's it to you? Come on, be a mensch.
posted by Naberius at 1:04 PM on May 12, 2010